February 8th, 2014

Mark Harper Resigns Over Illegal Immigrant Cleaner

Immigration minister Mark Harper has quit for doing just about the stupidest thing an immigration minister could do: employing a cleaner who was working in the country illegally. He wrote to the PM presumably after being approached by a Sunday paper:

Dear Prime Minister

In April 2007 I took on a cleaner for my London flat. In doing so, I was very mindful of my legal and financial obligations and undertook a number of checks beforehand. This included consideration of the HMRC tests as to whether the cleaner was performing her work under a contract for services on a self-employed basis which I concluded she was. However, even though there was no legal requirement for me to check her right to work in the UK, I felt that it was appropriate to do so. I therefore took a copy of her passport to verify her identity and also a copy of a Home Office letter, dated 26 January 2006, which stated that she had leave to remain indefinitely in the United Kingdom, including the right to work and engage in a business.

I considered the issue again when you appointed me as a Minister in the Cabinet Office in May 2010 and concluded that as I had performed a right to work check in 2007 and that my cleaner had indefinite leave to remain in the UK no further check was necessary. When you then appointed me as Immigration Minister in September 2012 I went through a similar consideration process and once again concluded that no further check was necessary. In retrospect, I should have checked more thoroughly.

As I took the Immigration Bill through Parliament in autumn 2013 I talked a lot about these matters in the context both of employers and landlords. What we do, and will, require of both is that they carry out reasonable checks and take copies of documents. We do not require them to be experts or spot anything other than an obvious forgery. Given this focus on these matters, I thought it prudent to check that all my documents were in order for my cleaner. I undertook an extensive search to locate the copies of documents I had taken but unfortunately I was unable to locate them.

As a result, in the week commencing 20 January 2014 I asked my cleaner for further copies of these documents which she provided on 4 February. On 5 February, I asked my private office to check the details with immigration officials to confirm that all was in order. I was informed on the morning of 6 February that my cleaner did not in fact have indefinite leave to remain in the United Kingdom. I immediately notified the Home Secretary and my Permanent Secretary. This is now a matter for Immigration Enforcement.

Although I complied with the law at all times, I consider that as Immigration Minister, who is taking legislation through Parliament which will toughen up our immigration laws, I should hold myself to a higher standard than expected of others. I have also considered the impact on my Parliamentary colleagues, the Government and you. I have always believed that politics is a team game, not an individual sport. Under the circumstances, I have therefore decided that the right course is for me to return to the Backbenches. I am sorry for any embarrassment caused.

I am grateful for the opportunities you have given me since you became Leader of the Conservative Party, first in Opposition and then in Government. I will continue to support you as Prime Minister, the Conservative Party and this Government in whatever way I can from the backbenches. I will also continue to serve my constituents in the Forest of Dean to the best of my ability.

Yours ever,


Can anyone think of anyone else exposed for employing an illegal immigrant recently?

Via Craig Woodhouse and Coffee House.



  1. 1
    Mid Staffs Ghost says:

    He couldn’t keep brushing his illegal cleaner under the carpet forever.


    • 11
      Skeptical Voter says:

      But it’s a case study in how to resign to do the right thing. Compare and contrast with numerous Labour Ministers 1997 – 2010…..


      • 26

        “I will continue to support you as Prime Minister, the Conservative Party and this Government in whatever way I can from the backbenches”

        Never, like the rest of us: “I’ve fucked up beyond the margins of competency, I’ve been fired from my job”.

        Made a serious faux pas, no excuse, but I’ll have another chomp at the trough if you don’t mind pretty please…



        • 41

          The question of whether an individual is a legal or an illegal immigrant is often a difficult one to answer. There are lots of EU citizens who have left their home countries, live in another EU country but don’t pay tax anywhere on their not insubstantial, if I may be so bold, savings.


          • Osama the Nazarene says:

            What is a PUS? Is that some variety of cat?


          • Anonymous says:

            Private Under Secretary. I think.


          • Casual Observer 6 says:

            If an individual has leave to remain indefinitely with the right to work in a country is usually a fairly black and white matter:

            Either you do or you do not.

            The cleaner here, if they had home office letters and passport was likely non-EU, and for sure non-UK.

            In those cases it is pretty obvious if they have the right to work or not.

            Paying tax on savings is not an immigration matter :-)


          • Tax Inspector says:

            Is that your fiddle then old chap?


          • Double Gloucester says:

            Actually PUSS – Parliamentary Under Secretary of State. The lowest form of life amongst ministers and known to civil servants as a “Parly Charlie”.


          • Sock Watch says:

            @4:26 pm is a sockpuppet.


          • Acronyms for every occassion says:

            In that case does PUSSY mean Private Under Secretary Selected (for) Youth ?


          • Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

            Yes, the sock puppet is having a go at Cat again. Unfortunately getting his facts wrong about tax: you cannot reside in the EU and not pay tax.


          • broderick crawford says:

            yeah look . the weakness of his case is ” merely ” that he was -despite an “exhaustive search” etc , — unable to locate the photocopies /documents he maintains he obtained at an earlier date.
            Question is then begged : did he actually ever do so ?

            At best he is derelict in keeping files , at worse he us covering his arse for an omission .

            Assuming he DID copy the earlier documents and lost them he may be an incompetent record keeper but that is not a resignation matter.

            If the converse then if course he must go .


          • @Maqboul

            Most grateful am I to you.

            To add to your statement, one may be a resident in a foreign land and still be liable to HMRC for tax.

            I do submit a statement every year and pay any agreed taxes. Of course, TaT could never appreciate that.


          • Ed Miliband says:

            Illegal immigrant? Oh no, Should I resign because my shadow chancellor is an illiterate grunt?


      • 52
        Osama the Nazarene says:

        Absolutely right. Tory honourable – Liebor dishon…


        • 132
          Cinna says:

          About four years wasn’t there a Labour noon, Lady something or other, caught out for something similar? I seem to remember she did all kinds of squirming instead of admitting her culpability.


          • Common Porpoise says:

            Baroness Scotland. She’s Labour, so it was all right, only Tories should be punished for breaking the law.


          • Cinna says:

            That’s the one! I remember she never did anything wrong…as if.


          • Cinna says:

            Here we go.


            So she was Labour, a woman and black. No wonder she didn’t think she had done anything wrong. She’s just another trougher.


          • FatBigot says:

            The real twists to the tale with Baroness Scotland are that (i) she steered the legislation through the House of Lords and (ii) she was Attorney General at the time she was fined by the Beak.

            Each, by itself, would be enough for any honourable person to resign because (i) means she did not fully understand the very law she foisted on the country and (ii) made her the senior legal advisor to the government, a position in which breaking the law undermines every responsibility she had.

            An Attorney General showed contempt for the law and stayed in office. It tells you everything you need to know about the last government’s sense of propriety. Although he has his faults, I cannot imagine for a second that the current Attorney General would act in the same way.


        • 180
          All socialists are scum says:

          All socialists are filthy fucking vermin that should be exterminated on sight.

          A scum socialist, aided and abetted by the BBC, would never voluntarily resign,.


      • 391
        Frankie says:

        So… He checked in 2007, found no problem with his cleaner, checked again when now an immigration minister, found a problem and resigned. He did the right thing. Unusual, in the current crop of politicians.


      • 565
        Just Asking says:

        So when is Red Ed’s American illegal advisor coming out of the woodwork will Ed resign. NO WAY.


        • 570
          TV21 says:

          Really don’t want Ed to resign as he’s doing a fantastic job in keeping Labour out of power. Though the alternatives to him look just a dreadful the internal battle for head trougher would be fun to see, his weird simian like brother might come down from Thunderbird 5 as well, it would be a real mong fest!


    • 29
      Anonymous says:

      What is it with these MPs, if its not employing illegal immigrants its moat cleaning or wisteria triming at tax payers expense



      • 55
        Creationist Frankie Maude says:

        …to protect your jobs AND BENEFITS! Scroungers!


      • 261
        I dislike socialists intensely says:

        Mark Harper is a honourable and decent man who has done the right thing
        in resigning his position unlike the useless incompetent chairman of the
        Environment Agency, Lord Chris Smith .


        • 276
          Expat Geordie says:

          Don’t know enough about Harper to confirm that. However if there is nothing more to this than what is currently public knowledge, is he the first to resign on “decent” grounds since Lord Carrington back in 1982?


          • I dislike socialists intensely says:

            Possibly Andrew Mitchell who resigned for the good of the party
            and he has now been exonerated of course.


          • British Jobs For British Workers says:

            There is nothing decent about a toff giving a job to a foreigner that should have gone to one of our own people.


    • 345
      Anonymous says:

      According to the telegraph Cameron wants him back by the end of the week….so much for politicians setting an example. Just like the Labour Baroness who also happened to be the Attorney General was allowed to keep her job after being caught keeping a slave ….when those who make the laws break the law, there is no law…..it should be open school for assassinating politicians …but instead Guido the West Brit will try to convince his followers that there is a difference between Cameron’s law breakers and Blair/Brown’s law breakers…. they are all the same smug arrogant pricks who believe the public will do nothing and they are right


      • 389
        Expat Geordie says:

        Interesting to see the use of the term “West Brit”/”West Briton” in your comment. “West Briton” being a term used by many Irish (many years ago) to indicate loyalty to the Crown, in the same way that many Scots used to refer to themselves as “North Britons”.


        • 484
          Never believe anything you find on Google (or anywhere else on-line) says:

          Loyal to the Crown but not to the Westminster Parliament.


    • 429
      Worker at the coalface, Immigration Department says:

      Well as Immigration Minister he has seen the secret Home Office figures showing that there are around 1,800,000 yes, 1.8 million illegal immigrants in the country so his chances of getting one were high.

      If the so-called copies (fakes obviously) were missing maybe the cleaner cleaned them up? What a twonk.


      • 442
        British Jobs For British Workers says:

        The HO stats do not include the hundreds of thousands who have been granted ILR on the basis of fake identities. eg. the Albanians who pretended to be Kosovan, all the Iranians pretending to be Iraqi Kurds etc etc.


    • 440
      British Jobs For British Workers says:

      There are at least two million illegals in the country. The government has been ignoring this problem for far too long. I am therefore quite happy that it has come back to bite one of these compascent numpties on the arse.


      • 447
        Osama the Nazarene says:

        Today’s Sunday Times shows that its British apprenticeships for Romanian immigrants. There’s a new twist.


    • 507
    • 541
      Jeremiah says:

      The answer lies in Geedoos last sentence of comment, “He wrote to the PM presumably after being approached by a Sunday paper”, would he have resigned without the Sunday newspaper having a little word in his shell like, that is the question. You have to hand it to him when found out he resigned unlike a lot of politicos, who just drag it out.


    • 555
      Anglois in froggieland says:

      Sounds like he was not paying employer NI contributions which is potentially a crime or would be for anyone else.


    • 576
      Tesco is shite says:

      Never mind this bollox. The guy resigned. The most reassuring news this weekend is that that evil, manipulative bastard Campbell is claiming to be back on his medication for depression. If it’s true – a big if – I for one will be hoisting a triple in celebration!


    • 578
      CFD trader says:

      I haven’t seen nor heard of a resignation for a while.

      It makes a change from the usual “lessons learned” rubbish, with the incumbent minister staying in office.

      Little bit of faith restored. Long way to go. A very long way.


  2. 2
    Libertie(s) says:

    Was she good looking?


  3. 3
    Oops says:

    Oops. Whilst a matter for immigration enforcement why not a matter for police reference the forged document(s)?


  4. 4
    Mike Hancock CBE MP says:

    Where was his cleaner from? Azerbaijan? Can I have her number?


  5. 5
    Sally Bercow says:

    Been there,done it !


  6. 6
    Tron says:

    Does anyone ever employ an English cleaner?


    • 14
      Ma­q­bo­ul says:



    • 22
      Prince Harry says:

      Can’t find one

      I’ve been looking for years

      So I employ Robert Mugabe’s fith ex wife now

      She is, of course, illegal


    • 23
      Godfrey Bloom says:

      The Missus does it!


    • 145
      Blowing Donkey Whistles says:

      People like White Dee were your typical cleaners/dinner ladies etc prior to 1997. After 1997 the reign of Terror ensured that the “working class” would all be better off as the “benefits class.”

      That’s why chavs and the lazy underclass don’t work. Only retards like Owen Jones haven’t realised that yet.


      • 191
        Owen Jones says:

        Look mate I made my name by writing a book based entirely on the straw man argument that the middle classes associate the word chav with young working class people. Of course they make no such generalisation and never have, heck even the young working class people know a chav when they see one. Notwithstanding that I still get fetted by a totally useless media. The same Media still get the meaning of the word ‘Troll’ completely wrong as well but thats another story.


    • 189
      john77 says:

      I clean my office myself because the hassle of employing someone is more than it is worth. When I am busy for a long period thy dust builds up to the point where it threatens my health but New Labour’s employment legislation means that I cannot even die in peace if I employ a cleaner


      • 449
        The British Public says:

        I think I can see the problem here. You are law-abiding. You will never make it into the rulling class.


  7. 7
    henrywood says:

    In future employ a British cleaner. Simples!


    • 34
      Andrew Efiong says:

      And what happens if they turn out to be moonlighting benefits scrounger? No guarantees from a British worker. Plus in my experience the Brits turn up late, drink all my tea and raid the biscuit tin. One cleaner even stole a frying pan from the house. And they charge more!


    • 39
      Jimmy says:

      No such thing in London?


    • 245
      broderick crawford says:

      That s the same as saying employ a — competent — British builder/plumber/roofer/artisan of any kind .


      • 312
        We Brits simply aint good enough for the liblabcon says:

        Well p1ss off abroad then if the native population isn’t to your liking.


      • 392
        Expat Geordie says:

        A lot of British builders, plumbers, etc are doing quite well at the moment. Those who survived the viscous destruction of their trade by Labour bringing in sub standard “Polish Plumbers” are making a few quid putting right the messes left by Poles with their Soviet standards of quality control, without having to reduce their prices as their smaller British competitors were put out of business by said sub-standard Poles.


    • 355
      jcp says:

      yeah on workfare no doubt


  8. 8
    EU Escapologist says:

    It could have led to a brush with the law.


  9. 9
    Village Idiot says:

    ….The behaviour of our political elite ,becomes more exposed as crass stupidity
    with every passing day!


    • 114
      Legal Beagle says:

      And they replace one known village idiot with two unknown village idiots

      To make up the numbers

      While we are submerging under the weight of immigrant filth


  10. 9
    Kick the foreign city of London out of England says:

    We expect these useless retards to run the country and this lazy tramp can’t even keep his own flat clean.

    This is the real reason for mass immigration, it’s so that these middle class twats can have cheap servants because they are not capable of looking after themselves.


  11. 12
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Bloody hell…I almost choked on my afternoon cup of Earl Grey and had to stop licking the icing off my French Fancy….is this a first ? A Minister who is actually prepared to resign rather than hang on trying to defend the indefensible…now over to Chris Smith to do the honourable thing oops no sorry I forgot Labour Ministers or even ex-Ministers don’t resign !!!


    • 30
      Andrew Efiong says:


      A rare man of honour and diligence, no wonder his career has stalled!

      Compare and contrast to Ed “Nazi Uniform” Balls or Dennis “Apple” Mac Shane.


    • 80
      Frank Marker - Private eye says:

      perhaps there,s alot more to it…


    • 163
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      i just happened to be leafing through a copy of lord levy’s book ‘a question of honour’ this afternoon and lo and behold – the pictures paint a thousand words. Between page 136 and 137 there are many pictures – one in particular of Chris now Lord Smith at a Brits dinner event with slotgob and G Robertson no less. Nothing in the index of Smith though. Weirdo pic of Levy and Blair on the cover as well …


    • 248
      broderick crawford says:

      Does your French Fancy perchance go by the name Julie Gayet .?


  12. 13
    Marie Antoinette says:

    But who else will do the housework when all you horrible people stop us from employing illegals?

    Especially my second and third residences


  13. 15
    Anonymous says:

    How very very strange the copies of her documents he ” originally took ” have
    “disappeared ”
    Clearly the work of some malevolent socialist magician trying to make it seem he is a liar .


    • 36
      Anonymous says:

      Do you have every document you were given in 2006? Why would you have retained them for this long? Do you have an entire archive of every document you have ever received?

      Please share with us your data retention and destruction policy including detail on how you categorise each item.


      Well shut up your face!


      • 51
        Cabbage says:

        I do.


      • 91
        Jimmy says:

        He may not have a copy of the letter but presumably his department will. If it ever existed that is.


        • 150
          altruism in industry says:

          a minister person would hopefully be organized enough to have made a folder labelled “Mrs Mop” or something in which he would put all relevant bits of paper, invoices and the like and photocopies of documents to be kept in a safe place.


      • 258
        broderick crawford says:


        ehhi wassa matttah you , donnah tell ‘ im to shuttah uppah ‘is face
        – that s my line and i ve got the pevtfirming rights to it !!!

        do you enjoyahh sleepin ‘ widdah de ‘ edless ‘orse and the fishes ??


    • 63
      Casual Observer 6 says:

      That is the real t’urd in the punch bowl as far as this letter is concerned.

      He may have lost the original paperwork, but he for sure didn’t check it properly if he did take it originally.


      • 94
        Honest John says:

        “if he did take it originally”, the Big ‘IF’.

        The balance of probability is that he never took any of the actions from his long story, which is just too long and too detailed to be true.

        Poirot would have seen through this contrived alibi immediately especially as it falls totally at the final fence


        • 96
          Jimmy says:

          Incidentally, Patricia Scotland was prosecuted for failing keep the paperwork, so when does Harper’s case come up?


        • 138
          Economist says:

          He used to work for K P M G

          The Coop Bank’s auditors who signed off their accounts as hunky dory weeks before the FRA fiund £1.5 Billion Hole FFS

          so he must be thorough


        • 167
          Queens Bench Vii says:

          Some years ago there was also the issue of a couple of immigration judges embroiled in some sexual imbroglio. The now dead judge Mr Khan was embroiled in some salacious matters with his cleaner and another judge …


      • 121
        Expat Geordie says:

        Would he even have known what to look for? Some government documentation is so obscure and contradictory that you can’t tell what it actually says.

        My girlfriend lost her job 5 years ago and claimed for JSA and Housing Benefit. Her 8 page letter from HB stated that they were not going to pay her and this is how much they were not going to pay her. They would then pay the amount that they were not going to pay her on such and such a date. We’re both graduates (I’m old enough to have O-Level English so I can read a bit, unlike some more recent graduates) but we couldn’t work out whether she was getting paid or not. Ultimately it took a trip to the Town Hall to establish that she was getting paid.

        Now she had time to try to work out what it meant, and struggled. He is a busy MP, with not a lot of spare time, and see’s a letter from the Home Office, which at the time had been described by the Home Secretary no less as not being fit for purpose, that stated that the cleaner had indefinite leave to remain, and he took it at face value. He then photocopied it and lost/cleared out/had it nicked by the cleaner at a later date.

        The letter probably stated that she had indefinite leave to remain except that indefinite only means until we examine your case more closely. It could even have been a case of the Home Office withdrawing her leave to remain since she was now working for a Tory MP and they could make political capital out of it.

        Or I could be completely wrong, of course.


        • 196
          There's one gullible cunt born every minute says:

          No – that’s obviously exactly what happened.


        • 223
          Mrs Teresa Michinnan says:

          TL,DR, but your girlfriend sounds like a right chavvy ponce. I bet she takes it from all kinds.


        • 273
          Votes flooding to UKI says:

          I was with you until “he’s a busy MP with not a lot of time”.
          MPs only sit for a max of 140 sessions and have longer holidays than teachers.


          • Expat Geordie says:

            I get a lot of holidays (okay I get 28 days and “buy” 4 from my employer, giving me 32 plus Bank Holidays). When I’m on holiday I can go through personal paperwork at leisure. When I’m working I sometime finish at 4.00 pm and relax, go to the pub, whatever. But sometimes I have to work to daft o’clock at night, travel to other offices or suppliers, often involving overnight hotel stays, and when I finally get home I check the post and often dump it in a drawer if it is not “urgent” before collapsing into bed. I suppose that it is easy enough when you are on holiday to forget about the important stuff that you filed away when you are knackered.

            Two months ago I had a clearout of “the drawer” as I couldn’t close it any more. I found Burton’s card statements from 1996, you have won the Chinese/Romanian/Welsh lottery letters, a letter from my MP, car insurance certificates from 2008 and a letter from the tax man to my current address asking where I live. What do I keep, and what do I shred?


        • 390
          Education x3 says:

          You were certainly wrong to write “and see’s a letter from the Home Office”. No apostrophe required.


          • Expat Geordie says:

            I last studied grammar in 1981, when I was a village primary school. I then went to a rural comprehensive where five years of O-level English language teaching didn’t cover the use of any form of grammar. I still managed a B at O-level though. Interestingly the English department was extremely left wing at the time, which could explain a lot.


          • Literate contributer says:

            Yes, my son had an “English” teacher that did not know what an adverb was . Viva Shirley Williams… He soon learned about English grammar though when he was moved to the private sector.


    • 194
      john77 says:

      For Pete’s sake – the rules are that you keep documents for six years (statute of limitations) so some clerk had junked them after seven years.
      How very strange that someone trying to libel an honest politician chooses to be “Anonymous”


      • 198
        There's one gullible cunt born every minute says:

        “Honest” and “politician” are words that never belong in the same sentence.

        Unless it’s a jail sentence, of course.


        • 274
          john77 says:

          You are an ignorant twit.
          I have known a substantial number of honest politicians: of course I pre-date New Labour and salaries for local councillors.
          Before Harold Wilson vastly increased MPs’ pay, hardly anyone went into politics to make money: when I was young my father came back from a meeting surprised and mildly shocked that a neighbouring MP replied to a heckler that it cost a lot more than twice his MP’s salary to do the job (in modern money he was more than £100k pa worse off). There are still a few honest guys and gals who go into politics because they want to achieve some good.


          • There's one gullible cunt born every minute says:

            “guys and gals”?

            Now then, now then, now then – howsabout that there then?


      • 254
        Expat Geordie says:

        When I worked at Exchange & Mart back in 2000 the rule was that we had to keep documentation relating to expenses for 7 years. It’s obviously been changed since then or else someone would have been had up for destroying the boy Blair’s expenses before 2009.


    • 332
      Anonymous says:

      “How very very strange the copies of her documents he ” originally took ” have
      disappeared ”.
      Not strange at all;same thing happened with Bliar’s expense receipts.


    • 414
      non taxable pikey says:

      I think he is trying to cover his arse with respect to the £10K fine for employing an illegal immigrant.


  14. 16
    Anonymous says:

    At last someone with moral decency and a backbone.


  15. 17
    Nemesis says:

    He’s just finding out how hard it is to discover illegal immigrants. The country is awash with these criminals and there’s nothing the government can do because of the EU and the ECHR. This country is well and truly fucked.


    • 112
      C.O.Jones says:

      Funny how customs and excise can intercept a small parcel and charge you £8 duty on it (and the post office a further £8 admin fee) yet a jumbo jet full of illegals manages to slip through the net every day!


    • 457
      Londoner says:

      It is actually pretty easy. You just have to understand that they will tell you lies.


  16. 18
    Ian Duncan Schmit says:

    I have a happy announcement to make

    Chukka, Milli, and Tristram Hunt and that chap married to a Sainsbury have kindly offered a free stay in their secondary residences in Ibiza and the South of France to all those flooded on the Levels

    This proves that we are all in this together, even the Labour Party


  17. 19
    Lord Bumwatch says:

    Forest of Dean?
    Expect nothing less!


  18. 21
    Ma­q­bo­­ul says:

    Seems to me he did nothing wrong. I wonder if this is a way of exiting a shit job?


  19. 25
    Owen says:

    Give my penis a sandwich :)


  20. 27
    Gromit via sign language says:

    Maybe he stood down because there is more to come…..


  21. 28
    B!llys Anus0l Wholesaler says:

    I suppose the cleaner won’t be booted out.


    • 32
      Mornington Crescent says:

      “As immigration minister Harper approved and launched the “Go Home” ad campaign that consisted of marked vans driving around suburbs with high proportions of ethnic minorities with the sign “Here Illegally? Go Home or Risk Arrest.” “


      • 44
        Jimmy says:

        AKA The Racist Vans


        • 188
          CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

          Oor Jimmy, like all other lefties, has a “unique” take on the English language. His definition of the word “racist” is the warning that those who have no legal right to stay in this country, i.e. illegally staying here, they risk detention and deportation, UNDER IMMIGRATION LAWS internationally recognised.

          So as well as fabricating facts, the left have also devised a perversion of the English language. Just remember their definitions of other English words:

          Democracy – to be used until we can bamboozle the voting public into electing us, then we’ll undermine it with fraudulent postal voting and gerrymandering and ensure we stay in power. Hugo Chavez followed this definition to the letter.

          Investment – tax, spend and borrow until we bankrupt the economy. We expect no financial returns.

          Extremist – anyone who disagrees with our philosophy.

          Racist – anyone who doesn’t see the benefits of diversity and enrichment.

          Bigot – someone who has lost work through immigrants undercutting wages.

          Islamaphobe – someone who worries about the aggressive Islamisation of his native culture. Someone who worries about violent Muslim extremism and the political elite who cravenly turn a blind eye to it.

          I could go on but it’ll only encourage oor Jimmy. It’s a pity he openly espouses a political ideology that was responsible for the deaths of 150 million human beings during the 20th century – and still counting. You’d think he’d have more sense.


  22. 31
    A Wounded Badger says:

    As a Minister with all the resources available to him and in his position, he should have been bullet proof, he is therefor not up to the Job and it is right he has gone…. yet another Prat in Government.


    • 137
      Disgusted of Neasden says:

      At the time he took on this cleaner, he was just an opposition backbench MP. If the document he saw was like ones I have seen from the Immigration people, it probably isn’t that difficult to forge; just black print on plain paper.

      My guess is that, as a minister, he made further inquiries through channels which only ministers and enforcers have access to, which is how he discovered the problem.

      I believe there is an offence in not being able to produce the original photocopies (which AFAIR is what Baroness Scotland was done for), but apart from that it looks like he did all the right things.


      • 170
        Queens Bench Vii says:

        The invention of them photocopying machines brought all manner of criminal forgery to the fore. Many a dirty shyster and politician have ‘used’ them in collusion with many of their friends to conceal their own criminal activities.

        e.g. Backdating of documents to give the ‘appearance’ that someone had been served a document when in fact they had not. There are ample examples out there.


  23. 35
    Citizen Khan says:

    Employs illegal immigrant and supports Cameron. Sound judgement not his strongpoint.


  24. 38
    soap says:

    does cleaner has a diff story?


  25. 40
    *yawn* says:

    Well done Mark Harper for doing the right thing. Does anyone remember what happened when Labour did the same…?



  26. 42
    UKIP does what it says on the tin says:

    Aaah but did he pay the cleaner out of his own pocket or did he pay her out of expenses?

    Has he got a taxpayer funded 2nd home and did the cleaner clean both of them?

    If the cleaner was paid by expenses claims it means the taxpayer was employing an illegal worker.

    Was it a question of go now and be forgotten or hang on until the real damaging stuff comes out?


    • 201
      There's one gullible cunt born every minute says:

      He’s a man of total integrity – none of those slurs could possibly be true.


      • 305
        People of integrity says:

        … unlike the greasy and objectionable Vazoline who seized on the opportunity to make a statement on TV. In his continuing efforts to rehabilitate himself he has said that the resignation was “honourable”. What would the universally loathed Vazoline know about honourable and integrity?


  27. 43
    Andrew says:

    We have not had so much fun since the Minister for Road Safety blew positive into the breathalyser. It’s events like this which brighten up an otherwise dull afternoon. Thank you,Mr Harper!


  28. 45
    P l e b says:

    There is of course the question of the £10,000 fine he’ll have to pay.


    • 459
      British Jobs for British Workers says:

      How much is ten grand compared to the money he’s saved by not paying a proper wage to a legal worker all these years?


  29. 47
    Larry Hooverman says:


    Any rest-bite from the BBC’s hysterical floods coverage is very much welcomed.


  30. 49
    A Wounded Badger says:

    With Israeli contacts, will be amusing if his cleaner is a Muslim as well.


  31. 53
    Fish says:

    Interesting to know how this got in the papers. Someone in the borders or immigration office got a backhander from one of the Sunday papers?

    Compare his openness with that of the wriggling Baroness


  32. 58
    Tony likes the bamboo says:

    If she was illegal, then she had no NI.Number. So how did he pay her?


    • 74
      Betting Odds says:

      Would suggest, in cash and on expenses. Cross Hairs ?


    • 92
      Mr Potato Head2 says:

      NI numbers used to be given out like confetti. Maybe they still are. But there could be more to this than has already been divulged.


    • 148
      Disgusted of Neasden says:

      If (s)he was a self-employed cleaner, with multiple customers, he didn’t need to know her NI number. If he was wise, he would have drawn up a contract which specified this, to make clear that she would deal with her own tax and NI.


      • 203
        There's one gullible cunt born every minute says:

        His training at KPMG will have ensured that all necessary requirements were complied with.

        They’re very thorough.


      • 279
        Jimmy says:

        Exactly. She was technically an independent sanitation consultant rather than a cleaner and therefore none of that NI malarkey was necessary. All completely above board. Honest.


    • 265
      Tony likes the bamboo says:

      If she’s self employed she needs a UTR Number. looks like a dodgy cashie to me. Cross hairs indeed.


    • 373
      Cina says:

      NI numbers are easy to get hold of. Labour churned them out by the million. Bit like Baroness Scotland’s cleaner I should think.


  33. 59
    Saturday 7 up says:


  34. 61
    Man about the house says:

    On Any Questions? last night, the Tory representative attempted to claim that any improvements in British schools are due to the work of the Government over the last 3 years. A claim which was ridiculed by Jack Straw.

    So on schools, the Tories boast that they are able to make serious changes in 3 years’ time – but with the Environment Agency, where something has gone seriously wrong, the Government is allegedly blameless and the fault lies with Labour!

    The culture of blame is pathetic – the job of government is to take responsibility for the nation, not to attempt to pass that responsibility onto your predecessors.


    • 84
      I got you babe says:

      Of course it’s the duty of passing responsibility on anything that got screwed up onto your predecessors, Liebour are artists at doing that blaming everybody else and whitewashing their past, Liebour are so innocent they whitewashed 13 years out of the braindeads single brain cell ehy would anybody vote for them otherwise .


  35. 73
    albacore says:

    “Immigration Minister” – a false-flag non-job
    Even more than the rest doing sod all but fob
    Folks off with the thinnest possible illusions
    Of some intent to stop alien intrusions


  36. 75
    Dave von cameroon says:

    He was trying to keep his expenses low…


  37. 77
    Tax Inspector says:

    This man says he is a non-practising accountant

    Do you think he has a BA (failed) from Mumbai University as well?


    • 82
      Will no one rid us of all these LibLabConners? says:

      No. He’s yet another Oxford PPE Graduate. The HoC is crawling with the useless fuckers, headed by Tosser Dave


  38. 78
    Bogbrush says:

    Camoron – For a PR man, that’s public relations not a sensibly representative electoral system, he’s made a few howlers this week:
    Showing up in Somerset after almost everyone else.
    The frankly bizarre site of a speech on Scottish succession in an empty London arena.
    That and constantly bleating on about chairing COBRA meetings, he seems a bit out of his depth

    Lynton must be losing his grip


    • 93
      Legal Beagle says:


      All we need is a mad dingo in our midst now

      Can’t the Tory Party find some Brit to advise them FFS.


    • 164
      M103 says:

      So true. How can anyone have respect for a PM like Cameron who constantly bleats the equivalent of “Not my fault. Some big boys did it and ran away.”? Get a grip, you poor sap. You’re supposed to be the one in charge now and all you ever do is pose for staged photos, mutter platitudes and run off abroad to play with your rich ‘friends’ as soon as you can get away. A cardboard cutout playing “It was all Labour’s fault” on a tape loop would be more use and a lot cheaper. I am so ashamed that my country is represented by this wally.


    • 171
      Mornington Crescent says:

      He should have been able to hit Militwit for six out of the ground with Mili’s stupid, patronising stunt about wimmin at PMQs. Instead, all we got was “we could do better…” or some such crap.



  39. 90
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Off to the pub to see Scotland humping England at Rugby. I suspect we’ll lull them into a false sense of security in the first half and.. :(


  40. 95
    Dingy Dave says:

    Come 2015 I shall stand like a Cnut in the Sea.


    • 102
      Bogbrush says:

      Don’t you mean ‘dinghy’?


      • 115
        Wayne Looney says:

        Poor old Dave, almost falling off his pedestal. You almost feel sorry for him, until you remember the harm he has done. Leave him in Somerset, adrift and with no banks in sight, and with only food banks for many of the rest of us


    • 126
      Leveller says:

      Yes. Poor darling. Must be time for another of his frequent holidays – suggest 5 days of drifting on a li-lo -in the North Sea


  41. 97
    Mark says:

    Reading that letter, it looks like he made a mistake* and then did the decent thing & resigned over it. Why there’s so much anger over this I don’t know: his response is to be commended, unlike god-only-knows how many ministers who’ve done far worse and carried on.

    * And in fact, not a terrible one as they go – it just happened to reflect badly on his position.


  42. 103
    Ah! no says:

    Illegal immigrant cleaner?

    This is getting ridiculous. Panasonic or Miele?


  43. 104
    Bogbrush says:

    Will he be fined £10,000 though?


  44. 107
    fed up in britain says:

    Cameroon is a brain dead Hunt.


  45. 109
    Some people are above the law says:

    Apparently you can be a copper who downloads extreme porn and nothing will happen to you. If anyone else did that, they’d be immediately sacked.


  46. 111
    Downing St Cop says:

    Guarding Tony and Cherie Blair is what drove us to watching extreme porn all day.


  47. 117
    Jimmy says:

    This one’s going to be fun


  48. 120
    Pissed-off voter says:

    Day after day, fuck-up after fuck-up, lie after lie…………

    And there are still people pathetically stupid enough to continue vote for them, and I bet they all call themselves Christians!


  49. 122

    At last an honourable geezer, who didn’t fiddle or fart about. He’ll be back.


    • 130
      Jimmy says:

      Bollocks. More holes in that story than Swiss cheese.


      • 179
        Unemployed hacker says:

        Where is our old friend Methodist Flower Power, Jimmy?

        He is too good to be true


      • 278

        David Chaytor
        Elliot Morley
        Jim Devine
        Eric Illsley
        John Stonehouse
        Denis MacShane
        Margaret Moran (oops she got off – wonder how?)

        Not all Swiss cheese has holes and not all cheese with holes is Swiss cheese. Those that do, like Emmentaler, do not have a very sharp taste and, as one may imagine from those from the Jealous Party, are unable ever to acquire one.


    • 139
      Joe Public II says:

      No he won’t. The cupid stunt will be out of the HoC in2015, along with prize pillock Dave.


    • 208
      There's one gullible cunt born every minute says:

      “Banged to rights” is the term you’re looking for.


  50. 129
    Anonymous says:

    As Douglas MacArthur said etc,etc.


  51. 143
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP


  52. 146
    MH Arper says:

    I was walking at a quick pace towards my home when I inadvertently pushed a cleaning type operative into my house. She happily had all of the required documents in her handbag so I asked my Afghani cook to check them out and then store them somewhere safe and I hired the cleaner. I was then offered the role of immigration minister so I thought just to be sure I will communicate with my Vietnamese butler to ask the Afghani cook to check with the cleaner that she has the requisite documents to work for me. The cook’s mother, who is deaf and blind, transmitted the information to me by pigeon post. I received this and after speaking with the pigeon I was very happy to retain the cleaner. However, as I was walking over my substantial lawn the fairies at the bottom of the garden informed me that the pigeon had lied and the cleaner was not allowed to work in this country. The rest is history. Is my bath ready Nanny?


    • 172
      Russian Oligarch says:

      So true

      I fly in my heavies and domestic staff fom EU Eastern Europe

      I confiscate their passports so they can’t do a runner

      When any official or policeman asks questions, I get my City solicitors to bribe them or their Ministers

      Bribes are very low in the UK by international standards


  53. 147
    David Blunkett says:

    Amateur. I used my position to fast track my lover’s nanny’s passport. I only resigned after several weeks of pressure. Nobody in our party does the decent thing and resign immediately.


  54. 149
    Harriet Harman says:

    I refuse to resign over my links to PIE. Or rigging an all-women shortlist to get my husband a safe seat. Or voting for an illegal war. Or helping cover up Mid Staffs.

    Resigning is for the little people.


    • 396
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      And what about when you ‘signed’ some ‘false instruments’ as solicitor general that made ‘some’ people S.42 vexatious litigants when ‘they’ [some] were in FACT not?


  55. 152
    'Chillaxed' Dave says:

    I’ll say one thing about SamCam, she keeps a very clean U-bend.


  56. 153
    What a Macshame says:

    A minister does something stupid and he does the decent thing and resigns immediately. Contrast that with Labour’s 13 years in which no one ever willingly resigned, most of the Labour crooks either only resigning after enormous pressure, or never resigning at all.

    Talking of Labour crooks, has Macshame been signed up by The Guardian for a weekly column like they did with Huhne? They might as well, given Macshame is now porking Huhne’s ex-wife.


  57. 155
    Lost in the wilderness says:

    Coincidence that the four coppers will face no further action and Harper resigns. IF there is any connection and the friction remains between Downing St and NSY, it really could become very entertaining. Imagine the sights that those protection officers would have witnessed.


  58. 157
    Ding Deng says:

    Isn’t the whole Wendi Deng/Blair stuff a smokescreen to hoodwink the public? Given the stories of Miranda’s arrest in the 80s for cottaging, it wouldn’t make much sense for Wendi and him to be getting it on.


    • 173
      Dirty Digger says:


      I was cockolded

      Me – the one and only Vile Digger

      You don’t cross me and get away with

      Like putting my top brass being in Court

      How dare they? I am above the law

      I hate England and you will continue to receive the shower of shyt you deserve


    • 417
      Handycock Teen Fondler says:

      If Wendy Deng had seen me first Blair would not have stood a chance. Jahbulon.


      • 487
        Literate contributer says:

        Handy!! Why didn’t you tell us you were a multi-millionaire global news dominating titan. Ooh, you are awful…


  59. 159
    The British media are cunts says:

    Interesting that the BBC are blaming the current government for all the fuck ups over the lack of river dredging. Take a read of this article about McBust and Labour when they were in power for 13 years AND they were the ones who decided on the lack of dredging strategy and instead to blame it all on global warming.



    • 184
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      And then in 2008 – as if by Magic – Ed pushed through the Climate Change Act 2008 … and then; all them msmoke ‘n mirrors stories by the neutered political hacks just seeped into the press of ‘its the end of the world’ so pay up with yeur taxes …


      • 488
        Literate contributer says:

        Why no mention of the EU “Directive” to turn that part of England back into a swamp?


    • 216
      UKIP does what it says on the tin says:

      Which is why they employed a thick fat retard like Smith to run the EU, he knows nothing about anything, apart from how to take the money of course, he follows orders and will not rock the boat and is too village idiot dumb to actually want to be involved in the running down of the EA.

      Everyones a winner when you employ a crooked retard, apart from the taxpayers of course.


  60. 165
    Ben Doon and Phil Mcavity says:

    Absolute tragedy one of the best 3 ministers in the Government,will Smith now act honorably and resign from the EA methinks not.


  61. 166
    Mornington Crescent says:

    So, she had a letter from the Home Office, allegedly giving her leave to remain, dated 2006.

    Remind me who was in power then, when the Home Office dished out such letters to any Tom, Dick or Ahm3d who turned up on our shores (and if you dared complain, you were smeared as a wayyyycist.)


  62. 169
    Gooey Blob says:

    I thought Cameron was missing a couple of huskies whilst out on his photoshoot.


  63. 180
    Tooting Tony from Tel Aviv says:

    The Middle East Peace Process is coming along nicely

    Not that I have anything to do with it


    • 291
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      Clinton had Monica L – didn’t you have Carole C?


      • 331
        cherie the property speculator says:

        Carole Caplin boyfriend Peter Foster convicted of fraud on three continents. Helped Booth now Blair buy two properties in Bristol. In defending her self, in front of an audience of Labour supports, all happy clapping on cue, a son was going too live there. Never did.


  64. 182
    Tin foil top hat says:

    As much as I think the Conservatives are nob heads, I fail to see what more he could have done. He checked her details, and appears to have been victim of fraud.

    Unless there is something I’m missing?


  65. 185
    Truthteller says:

    LibLabCon have no intentions of reducing immigration. F-ing Traitors.


    • 346
      Balkans Mk 2 says:

      Too many vested interests profit out of it now to stop the racket without using external force.

      The EU, supermarkets, Buy to Let brigade, employers, fake charities, Labour party, the churches, Universities and colleges all personally benefit one way or another keeping the door wedged wide open at the expense of the rest of the country.

      When the sh!te hits the fan, those pimping mass immigration will scarper like cockroaches leaving ordinary Joe Public holding the can.


  66. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Great shame. An Oxford-educated accountant was just what was needed to take care of the immigration figures. Nudge-nudge… etc.


    • 210
      arnie says:

      votes 100% with the government
      couldn’t give a shit about his constituents
      spends millions on brylcream – all at taxpayers expense


    • 249
      Joe Public II says:

      Yet another PPE — Piss Poor Educated at Oxford — totally unsuited for the job — just like Dave


  67. 192
    To be fair, the maid looked like this... says:


  68. 193
    Metropolitian Copper says:

    Tonight I am going to get drunk and send an e mail to my local MP claiming I witnesses the second gunman on the grassy knoll as I was walking past with my nephew.


    • 204
      PC Redoxon of Dick Green says:

      Were you molesting your nephew at the time, sir?

      Can you prove you were not?

      Let’s go down to the station, sir.


  69. 197

    Labour trolls appear to be working overtime on this site today.


  70. 209
    Lard Everard says:

    Why did he resign ??


  71. 219
    Ippikin says:

    At least he has done the honourable thing and resigned.
    0/10 for the cleaner; 10/10 for the resignation.


  72. 220
    Puzzled says:

    He was misled by the documents he originally saw. But in fact, he didn’t even have any obligation to look at documents because he had asked himself whether she was an employee or self-employed, and decided she was the latter. The “Scotland documents trap” only catches employers.

    But he very sensibly asked to see the documents again, as an extra check. And he himself discovered he’d been misled by the check he didn’t need to make in the first place. And very honourably reported it.

    He was in the clear, totally. Legally and morally.

    Resigning seems an over-reaction to me.


    • 362
      There's one gullible cunt born every minute says:

      Quite right – he should have been promoted for being so assiduous.


      • 453
        Labour Trougher says:

        He’s a bastard who should resign his seat immediately for bringing MPs into disrepute – he should have hung on unless he was jailed for something.

        Selfish bastard – he will only draw the public’s attention to the fact that the rest of us are unprincipled self-serving expense-fiddling shite.


  73. 221
    Inspector Gadget says:

    more to this than meets the eye for the pretty boy of the tory party


    • 244
      Shock Horror --- whatever next? says:

      Are you saying he’s yet another of Dave’s gay boyfriends? Surely he’s got a beard, hasn’t he?


    • 286
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      Perhaps there is some pre election planning going on in advance? Perhaps it was retrospectively thought about that them van adverts would come back to haunt the Tory party come the election and that they are clearing out that possible avenue now?

      Mind you the libLabCon cannot win of their collective ‘silence’ on the whole issue of immigration for the past ten or so years and seeing as it was the UKIP who were the only ones prepared to address the no go area of it all?


  74. 222
    A Labour Troll says:


  75. 226
    Da ve says:

    ffs, at this rate of attrition I`ll have to promote that scouse bird working with IDS, thank god for the mincers, they know how to keep the door bolted eh william?


  76. 236
    Joe Public II says:

    Why didn’t the incompetent bastard employ a U.K. born cleaner, always assuming he is too fucking lazy to do his own cleaning.

    Presumably because the mean cnut wanted to pay the absolute minimum to some poor immigrant woman.

    And to think this is the standard of Ministers FFS, in the government of Tosser Dave.


    • 575
      Perfidious Albion says:

      all the white working class have been driven out of london try finding a cockney in central london these days


  77. 240
    The BBC says:


    We’ve found a Tory who we can blame for the flooding and lack of dredging in Somerset. That’ll take the heat of Ed and Smiffy (and when we return the country to our natural rulers in 2105 we’ll get a huge increase in the licence fee)

    Job done.


  78. 242
    Laurie Penny says:

    All men are rapists.


  79. 243
    Compare and contrast says:

    BBC have this front and centre. Correctly in my view. Its just a shame that when Labour are caught out with their election spin doctor nothing is said

    Then we come to Baroness Scotland who never resigned but somehow managed to get her cleaner up in court fined and thrown out of the country with again little mention from the BBC


    • 471
      Bang Gang says:

      ‘Thrown out of the country’ – I think not, she married a Brit (of Serb descent) and naturally used HR legislation to stay.


  80. 246
    I want to know says:

    How many BBC newsreaders have second homes in the West Country?
    Dozens of them have eagerly bolted down the A303 for the weekend.

    And why are there so many bloody weather reporters on the BBC.Surely
    a couple would suffice.


  81. 247
    Vote SNP for a laugh says:

    That rugby in Scotland there is a perfect example of what independence would look like. All show and bravado to begin with, flags and bagpipes, then when it’s down to delivery, they produce fuck all and end up humiliated.


  82. 274
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    This man should have been arrested taken to the Police station and strip searched .


  83. 283
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    This Government takes 40% of whatever I make I always assumed to provide basic services security and care.

    Today I learn that under threat of criminal sanction it is my job to check anyone I might employ is legally in this country.

    I would have thought at the very least the Government would have carried out all the necessary checks on my behalf.


  84. 293

    In the last week I posted about Harry Graham, an English lyricist and writer of verse who flourished about a century ago. Here is another example from his work called Ruthless Rhymes.

    Poetical economy

        What hours I spent of precious time,
        What pints of ink I used to waste,
        Attempting to secure a rhyme
        To suit the public taste,
        Until I found a simple plan
        Which makes the lamest lyric scan!
        When I’ve a syllable de trop,
        I cut it off, without apol.:
        This verbal sacrifice, I know,
        May irritate the schol.;
        But all must praise my dev’lish cunn.
        Who realise that Time is Mon.


  85. 294

    In the last week I posted about Hаrry Graham, an English lyricist and writer of verse who flourished about a century ago. Here is another example from his work called Ruthless Rhymes.

    Poetical economy

        What hours I spent of precious time,
        What pints of ink I used to waste,
        Attempting to secure a rhyme
        To suit the public taste,
        Until I found a simple plan
        Which makes the lamest lyric scan!
        When I’ve a syllable de trop,
        I cut it off, without apol.:
        This verbal sacrifice, I know,
        May irritate the schol.;
        But all must praise my dev’lish cunn.
        Who realise that Time is Mon.


    • 297
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      Hello SC – how do you like my new moniker?


      • 300
        Blowing Whistles2 says:

        I preferred your old one.


        • 309
          Queens Bench Vii says:

          i too – but am having fun for the moment at peeing off the PTB – for attempting to play fucking games with i the person.


      • 307
        A passing goat says:

        Is Vii short for Viictoria?


        • 317
          Queens Bench Vii says:

          Those who know, know. Those who don’t know don’t know. There are things we now know which we didn’t know and which some hoped we would never know – but we know now and ‘they’ now know that we do know and they are shitting their panties.


          • Perhaps that fourth state, missed by Donald Rumsfeld, of unknown knowns; that is to say those that which we don’t know or intentionally refuse to acknowledge that we do know.

            Ay, there’s the rub…


          • Queens Bench Vii says:

            SC – your comment about ” … intentionally refuse to acknowledge that we do know.”

            Takes the whole subject matter nicely back to “Their” convenient

            “Cognitive Dissonance”

            and i thank you for that.


          • Ah! Providing you recognise what I have identified (and I spotted this even as I heard it on TV on 12/02/2002 BTW), rather than attribute that condition to me, then we don’t have a problem and I thank you for such recognition.


        • 368
          There's one gullible cunt born every minute says:

          No – it’s short for wanker.


  86. 295
    Queens Bench Vii says:

    Aren’t the extreme left and the extreme right having an extremely hard time of it attempting to sell ‘their’ extremely ludicrous climate change gig in the UK?

    Lord Stern 2007 / Miliband Ed 2008 / Huhne C 2011 / and now … it’s not as if they can seperate their beliefs in myths is it?


    • 303
      Podiceps says:

      Assuming that the ‘extreme right’ existed (really it’s a creation of the left wing used to damn their own heretics), which of these would you assign to it? Lord Stern may have his faults, but he isn’t a member of the ΒΝΡ as far as I know.


      • 324
        Queens Bench Vii says:

        Research his paper put to the govt in 2007 which was the pre-cursor to the introduction of ED’s Act of 2008.


  87. 296
  88. 304

    The sovereign states are the “masters of the EU Treaties” and not the other way around – Das Bundesverfassungsgericht (Germany’s Federal Constitutional Court, the guardians of the German Constitution)

    This is a most welcome Do not mess around from Germany to the EU.


    • 326
      Podiceps says:

      Though I can’t help thinking that the actual pecking order is that Germany is the master of the EU, and the EU is the master if us.


      • 341

        In the sense that they are the productive core of the EU, I would agree.

        For what it is worth, my anecdotal soundings here tell me that there is a huge amount of admiration for the British approach as exemplified by Farage.

        There is also the aspect of “He who pays the piper”.

        The obvious problem of Third Reich is still very much in the consciousness here. Of course they will always be pilloried for this by some but their detractors often betray pretty awful sentiments themselves.


        • 360
          Casual Observer 6 says:

          But G’ermany are still on the hook for the unfunded liabilities of the Euro.

          That they cannot avoid ;-)

          (And they are not that productive these days either…)


          • By para:

            1. Agree totally

            2. Again

            3. Disagree, though that is simply a matter of comparison. In industrial production they are ahead of all substantial countries in Europe. UK figures may be looking good but what bubbles are being reblown? Neither country looks good compared with the East though. So take your choice…

            Another aspect I won’t go into too much detail on, as it is another subject, is the attitude of the individual. Germans still seemed conditioned to us. We seem undisciplined to them.

            I would recommend Aristotle and his Golden Mean as a way of unpicking this apparent dilemma.


          • Casual Observer 6 says:

            Poverty rates and other indicators of decline are on the increase for G’ermany, and it cannot be ignored that they have been pushed to impose trade tariffs to see off competition from the US and Ch!na.

            I say nothing for UK industrial output or make a comparison. The UK is primarily service sector and is increasingly niche in productivity. Figures are only up because of the current state of global interest rates.

            The real action which will shatter the G’erman illusion is unfolding right now, and it is all about the US regaining it’s export markets, and Ch!na taking over the machine tool market. (Look to where Tungsten reserves are located to see where I am coming from on the latter point, as well as what is going on with the other side of Ch!na’s industrial development.)

            Add the fact that the effects of high youth unemployment are shortly to be felt across the Eurozone as the newly created mong generation begins to affects the economics and it doesn’t matter how disciplined the G’ermans think themselves: They are fucked.


          • We differ in nuance rather than in fundamentals. My feeling is that your conclusion is rather too sweeping.

            You force me into the subject I avoided and on which I have had a great amount of time in observing them at close quarters for over two decades with a part admiring and part critical eye.

            The common conception of them standing at a red traffic light when no vehicles are coming is a reflection of reality, still. I cannot bring myself to do this but still make sure that there is no policeman present before ignoring the custom!

            The fact that German factory owners will go and tell their workers that they will get a pay cut is mostly unheard of in the UK but quite common here (I am north of the Alps as I speak).

            But don’t trust me, look at the mаrket place. That is what we believe in, isn’t it? Mercedes, BMWs and Audi/VW are still snapped up by every country in the world. JCB are a marvellous company but can’t compete in volume sales with these. And anyway look where they make JCBs nowadays.

            So one needs to have a Theory of Mongdom to proceed. Mine may well be different to yours as I have seen different things to you and vice versa.

            When you look at the level of debt that the UK has (how’s that deficit thingy coming along BTW), consider that at some time interest rates will rise and look at German debt (their own – not the EU’s) then one might ask: In what way is Germany fucked that UK isn’t?

            Believe me, if I were running a currency, I would not have done it the way the Euro has been run… I am not attempting to defend a position here.

            But to put it in the vernacular, if you have a choice of ugly sisters, which one are you going to have your evil way with?

            My answer on this is that I have a number of unread books which seem much more appetising.

            Desire can wait for a better day. :-D


          • Casual Observer 6 says:

            Am looking in much broader terms – and not really the fine detail.

            Your point about factory owners: The only reason that does not happen in the left is because of what the Labour party got up to during the 60s and 70s – when industrial relations were somewhat damaged.

            Take the Unions permanently out of the equation, and the situation you describe will exist here. But then there are other differences in culture / civic set up and the mindset of owners in G’ermany which contribute.

            However, from a production point of view, all of that is completely irrelevant. Ch!na and the US for example do exactly the same, except with a differing margin or return, and in the case of Ch!na no real cost implication for the state.

            Automobile manufacture is a key and overly protected interest in G’ermany. To my point on Ch!na’s industrial development, and movement into the machine tool market, this goes directly to that segment of industry – and many others.

            The only defence G’ermany will have to prevent competition is to impose further trade Tariff’s / Capital Controls, and tighten the red tape on things like emissions etc.

            The tightening of regulation is self defeating as beyond certain metrics it is a game of diminishing returns which stimulates both price inflation and reduced returns for manufacturers. Explicit tariffs and capital controls are the precursor to real conflict: An economic admission of political failure.

            There is also a case that the twin effects of both to protect a single member states market within a system such as the Eurozone, undermines many of the principals of the free trade zone itself. An equivalent situation (which you do not see) in the US would be if C’alifornia attempted to undercut M’ichigan for maintaining automobile manufacturing locally. It is good to understand more why this isn’t allowed to happen, vs. what prevents it.

            G’ermany is attempting to become economic / political hegemon within Europe. This is an old hubris which has unhinged the country a few times before, and history is once again rhyming as it would appear the G’ermans have simply not learnt some very valuable lessons from history.

            As for UK debt : That is being dealt with. Recall the saying: If you owe a little, it is your problem, if you owe a lot it is the banks problem… ;-)


          • Appreciate all the points you make and you do say you speak in broad terms.

            This however can lead to a position where these separate views do not always converge in the anticipated place.

            Why do people by cars by marque? Because it confers status that goes way beyond engineering quality (which BTW I still don’t see China as being there or even close.) Nissan produced Lexus and it is a wonderful car in the high quality range. But there are still thousands who would not be seen dead in one. Maybe in another fifty years?

            Wish I could expand this more but I have some people waiting for me upstairs and I am late, as always.

            But China are further off than you think IMO.


          • Casual Observer 6 says:

            Well – it isn’t going to happen overnight, and then there is the problem of transport. Ch!na would have to set up car plants in Europe in order to push their products.

            Ignoring the propaganda, modern Ch!nese cars actually do meet stricter emissions regulations than European cars, but are currently lacking a bit in terms of safety and build quality. Both aspects are being chased up: One can really track this through national priority rather than competition for a consumer market. They are deferring the latter.

            I would not bank on prestige etc. being preserved for European manufacture. There will remain niche markets – as there remain for certain UK goods. But they will remain small.

            The cost and perception of automobiles will play the deciding factor.

            If the next generation of Europeans are to experience a massive drop in expected earnings, coincident with higher cost of energy and living, then the current approach to transport in Europe will need to be changed radically: Made more efficient, and fundamentally cheaper. This will necessitate a fundamental shift in perception among the masses, and denial of access will not be accepted.

            European manufacturers will not be able to compete as external capital will be needed to make this happen. Enter the likes of Ch!na, and let’s not forget !ndia either ;-)

            Something I do not really understand is the European perception of automobiles as being luxury / status items.

            When you realize that what costs €60,000 in Europe you can buy for $30,000 in the US (as an import) – and in the US the product is considered a pure utility item rather than anything else – my position might become a little clearer.


      • 349
        Turnaround time anytime says:

        It’s only master of us because we have a lot of weak kneed politicians and a load of uncivil servants who see the EU as a powerbase for them, that’s why we get the crap laws all wrapped up in even more red tape, if us plebs complain all they do is blame the EU.


    • 436


      Leaving out the economic and financial arguments for a moment, I do not see how you could do other than agree with the sentiments expressed by Das Bundesverfassungsgericht here.

      Putting your legal hat on (and only that hat!), how do you feel about that limited aspect?


      • 540
        Casual Observer 6 says:

        The relationship between the Federal Constitutional court and the ECJ is a very good question. The domestic courts are subservient to the ECJ.

        I think this is the full announcement:


        The real issue is that the constitutional courts are in a legal no-mans land.

        If the language which is employed between judiciaries is examined, it becomes clear that the Constitutional Courts in member states have been pushed into a position of seeking legitimacy from the ECJ rather than vice versa. That is an important and significant shift, and not a new one.

        A much deeper question is the issue of Community Law vs. Domestic Law, and how the ECJ can trump constitutional matters – or how constitutional courts can be made to understand the ECJ period in an environment where there exists no formal Community level constitution (bar the machinations of the Lisbon treaty and the mess of treaties which precede).

        The Federalists identified this problem years back in that the original T’reaty of R’ome is worded in such a way to prevent European Federal Union, and the only way to establish that is to replace all treaties back to R’ome with a constitution which would involve temporarily dissolving the entire Eurozone temporarily.

        From a legal point of view, the notable language of the G’erman court is:

        ultra vires

        If EU entities have been issuing debt in the name of a specific member states rather than in the name of the ECB / EU, without the explicit authorization of a member state, then this certainly does sound like an act of ultra vires payment has occurred.

        One would need to check closer the wording of various treaties to determine if this is the case. As most treaties are worded somewhat vaguely, it would not surprise me if the G’erman courts pronouncement is found false, and this is just the constitutional court testing relationship with the ECJ, among other things.


  89. 310
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:


    • 333
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      It is bent judges, lawyers and all of their ilk who have been bankrupting the innocent in the UK – the 1986 Insol….y Act – was a despicable ruse which opened up many a loophole for the unsuspecting and ill informed (by consent) to be fleeced by trickery i say?


    • 336
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      It was the criminal elements (acting contrary to the law) within the legal shyster mafia who bank.rup. ted many an innocent.


  90. 314
  91. 319
    Dave the Blob says:

    It is absolutely essential to have uncontrolled immigration. Where else would Tories get cheap cleaners and nannies? Toodle pip!


  92. 328
    BBC says:

    A seven-year-old boy has died and his parents are in a serious condition in hospital after being taken ill at a house in a hit flood-hit Surrey town.

    Police said the cause of the illness at the house in Thameside, Chertsey, was not yet known but they could not rule out a link to recent flooding caused by the evil Tories.

    Police advise residents to vote Labour in future as they pwn them.


  93. 330
    Over exposure says:


    • 339
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      Is half of the BBC’s content only about the gay mafia; and if it isn’t – they wouldn’t really have much to yak on about would they?


    • 342
      Talk about this says:

      Labours stance on Europe.
      labours response to the incompetent EA.
      Labours mass immigration mistake.
      Labours trashing of the banks,nhs,education and economy.
      Labours insignificance in the changing political climate.
      Labours leader.


  94. 348
    Papers please says:

    Is Diane Abbott a legal immigrant?


  95. 350
    dave boy cameron says:

    harper the bloke who had to dive into the back of a police van rather than debate the future of the forest with his consitiuents

    harper the man who told those of his constituents who didn’t have the internet he would post information for them on his website

    what a larf – i was happy to accept his resignation cos he’s not rascist enough for me


    • 371
      Gabby Bertin, the only good thing about no 10 says:

      Dave not racist

      Thatcrequires too juch thought

      He’s just a poodle

      I train him and organise his photo ops

      His speeches are written for him

      And he calls Tony Blair before makihg any decision on his own

      So actually he is a non-Prime Minister


  96. 357
    Fuck The EU says:

    Yet more reason to get the borders under control.


    • 370
      Nigel Garage says:

      I shall be taking this yet another golden opportunity and squandering it amongst ‘ gay flooding’ and ‘women are too dim to do man’s work’ comments.


      • 409
        Expat Geordie says:

        Yes but gays are responsible for the flooding.

        The Environment Agency is responsible for not dredging the rivers that flooded, and Chris Smith, who is chairman of the EA, is a HIV Positive shite stabber.

        Hence gays (or perverts, take your pick) are responsible for the flooding.


  97. 369
    Gordon Balloon says:

    I think my nurse, Florence, is an immi.
    She looks at me funny and sucks her teeth at me a lot. And she wears coloured head scarfs and says “Yah yah yah, don’t choo freter yerself now.” when I try to explain things to her.

    I don’t like her at all. Where’s Sue? Sue knows what i like.


  98. 375
    Denis McShame says:

    I am an innocent man!


  99. 376
    jcp says:

    here’s a question for those of you intelligent enough to answer



  100. 379
    Anon. says:

    #MakingLightOfBritishSuffering. #Scum


  101. 385
    One, two justice is coming for you says:

    After all, it emerged earlier this year that Geoffrey Dickens, a Tory MP who campaigned against paedophilia, had approached the then-Home Secretary Leon Brittan in 1983 with allegations concerning widespread abuse of children, some of it by prominent individuals, in children’s care homes.

    Nothing appears ever to have come of Dicken’s claims.


  102. 387
    albacore says:

    Oh dearie me, now isn’t that sinister?
    Mrs Mop twits a senior minister
    On second though, capping immigration
    Is pretty low in prioritisation
    Compared with, say, gay weddings and foreign aid
    Better not ask who Dave employs as a maid


  103. 411
    Cockroache says:

    ” All I heard was guilty. guilty, guilty. I thought I was going to jail”

    You will, you will.


  104. 415
    Why is the Mass Media Promoting 'G@y Rights'? says:


  105. 424
    Dweeb says:

    Sorry, I can’t get excited about this. Someone in his position wouldn’t have deliberately employed a non-legit. At worst it’s one of those “oh shit” moments.

    More was lost at Mohacs Field, as the Magyars say.


  106. 430
    Anon. says:

    Owen Jones fund raising once again for the Labour Party again. No wonder the BBC love him. Of course, there won’t be any mention of this by the BBC.


  107. 431
    Anonymous says:

    It’s official, MP’s are as thick as shit.


  108. 438
    ?non says:


    • 525
      Daniel The Prophet says:

      And this is the writing that was inscribed: mina, mina, shekel, half-mina. This is the interpretation of the matter: mina, God has numbered the days of your kingdom and brought it to an end; shekel, you have been weighed on the scales and found wanting; half-mina, your kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians


  109. 439
  110. 445
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:


    • 452
      Quick hide , here comes a news reporter. says:

      Dig, dig, digger, dig all day long, wow somebody from the 1990s a porn star nominating a UKIP hopeful, is that all they can come up with, I stopped smoking in the 1990s am I still a smoker, ffs has somebody got paid to ferret that stop the press piece out, that’s breaking news, I really think the media needs to get it’s own house in order.


    • 454
      #Fail says:

      Daily Mail is really struggling to make a story out of this one.

      They should realise though, that money from Brussels is actually money from the UK taxpayer being returned minus 66% handling charge.


    • 516
      Casual Observer 6 says:

      Somewhat tepid story compared to:

      i) Revd. Flowers / Co-Op / Ed Balls / Labour Fraud + immigration irregularities.

      ii) The Liberal Democrats

      iii) The cluster-fuck called David Cameron

      UKIP did get an endorsement from Des Lynam – some digging there would throw up some similar low grade material. Why didn’t they do it then ?

      Vote UKIP.


  111. 456
    Oh dear me says:

    Like I said before supporting the Scottish rugby team is the equivalent of being the over optimistic parents of the fat kid on school sports day.


  112. 460
    A Story in Private Eye says:

    Apparently the hard case riot police types in Russia have an unfortunate name – OMOH (when written in the cryllic russion)

    Viewed in the mirror you see a lot of peelers running around with HOMO written on their backs.


  113. 463
    He was somewhat distracted though says:


  114. 465

    Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long. – Ogden Nash


  115. 468
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:


  116. 472
    Mr Skylord says:


    • 493
      Fish says:

      In court? Heard all the evidence? Sat in the jury room, did we?

      Why do we have to put up with narcissists, like people who call themselves mr skylord


      • 499
        Dead tree press says:

        They wroite this piece in abtidipatuon of an (unjust) conviction and have nothing to fill the space with so are running it anyway. Pathetic hacks.


    • 510
      Cesspit City of London says:

      Gangster bank fucked again

      Can they do NOTHING honestly and competently?


      • 515
        Casual Observer 6 says:

        They are likely still recovering from the following:

        i) Diamond / Del Missier leadership during the last Labour administration.

        ii) Being forced to employ enrichment. Recall the ‘trader’ who nearly took UBS off the map.

        There is a seriously criminal element in operation at the bank, but it only remains because it infects the management. Perhaps a good time to have a deeper look at Marcus Agius’s real involvement ?


        • 522
          Cesspit City says:

          Marcus Agius was just Hold My Dick Diamond’ fig leaf

          At £1 million per year…


        • 530
          Taxpayer says:

          How could the Chairman of this major bank for 6 years not be aware of:

          1 Massive money laundering
          2 Massive insurance “mis selling”
          3 Massive “aggressive” tax avoidance
          4 Massive swaps “mis selling”
          5 Massive interest rate and FX “fixing”
          6 Massive commissions paid for Arab/insider deals

          Either he closed his eyes deliberately or he was an accomplice

          And still not one of these fucking bankers in jail even though ctime was rampant in this bank (and many other banks)


        • 532
          JadedJean2 says:


          “ii) Being forced to employ enrichment. Recall the ‘trader’ who nearly took UBS off the map.”

          Now you know this not to be true. There is no requirement on private companies to prove that they are an equal opportunities employer. This requirement has only been forced onto the public sector and it is used as the method of choice to nobble those public sector institutions thus making them ripe for privatisation.

          If I’m not mistaken, the UBS trader that you refer to was a young black man (approx 30). Do you not think he was just doing what he was told to do? As you imply yourself, there seems to be a criminal element that runs through the banking industry and its management throughout the City. He was just the immigrant patsy in that case.


          • Queens Bench Vii says:

            Similarly every local council in the UK are running their businesses as ‘criminal enterprises’ behind the guise of operating as private companies – and with unelected executive officers – and the EU …


          • Casual Observer 6 says:

            Private companies are checked by government to ensure that they have an appropriate representation on the work force.

            Several firms I have worked for in the past have specifically taken on ‘token’ contract staff at the time when such checks were being made. This was back in the late 90s / early 2000′s.

            Like the shenanigans going on at the Met, the race issue has been used to conceal real crime.

            The trader in question knew exactly what he was doing, and what he was doing was completely illegal.

            There is also the case of the enrichment working in certain other departments who were copying client details and selling illegally, plus the perennial problem of enriched cleaning staff thieving from offices, and performing acts of industrial espionage in order to top up their incomes. (Excluding the fact that some of these individuals must be clearly working for foreign agencies…)

            Not playing the race card, but the enrichment and positive discrimination / diversity quota systems have undermined many companies and directly increased criminal activities within firms.


        • 554
          Taxpayer says:

          No one forced them to hire all these foreigners

          It was a deliberate policy, to bring in diubtful clients from their countries

          The top managers of these banks all knew fucking well the biggest heist of all time they pulling off

          Just read Charles Ferguson’s books

          It’s all documented


    • 520
      Queens Bench Vii says:

      Your sister paper the DM Friday’s front page said

      William Roach: “How did it ever get to court?”

      here’s some irony of what the DM missed

      Jimmy Sovile: “How did it NOT ever get to court?”

      Cyril Smith: “How did it NOT ever get to court?”

      the nudge nudge wink wank lodgemen / E’stablishment … would explain lots.


  117. 478
    Bob says:

    sounds commendably honest to me unlike those Labour fuckpigs who think rules are for the masses who thwy hoodwink into voting for them; Hunts


    • 490
      albacore says:

      But when you get down to those awkward brass tacks
      Possession of nous this slacker clearly lacks
      Still, that’s a closed shop in Parliament today
      (Given that you fall for one word that they say)


  118. 489
    LibLabCons reproduce by cell division says:


    The solution is obvious : repatriate Cameron to Jockland, then close the border.


    • 495
      albacore says:

      Dave on the bagpipes, sporting a kilt
      That’s the stuff on which legends are built
      Though, with his aid for all things foreign
      He’ll plainly have an empty sporran


    • 498
      England says:

      Divided loyalties between Brussels and his Scottish gang do not qualify a man to be the leader of this nation.


    • 512
      Badger spotter says:

      Repatriate Gordoom, all Scottish Labour MPs and our favourite Pygmie Jock



  119. 494
    Anonymous says:

    Why does a minister bother resigning, they don’t normally. What is wrong with this man? Any way don’t feel too sorry for him , he’ll be back climbing that government ladder pretty soon. Don’t forget all those boys stick together any way.There’s too much money to lose for them!!

    I really detest our political cliques with a vengeance. I wouldn’t shake hands with any politician these days for fear they will steal my wedding ring!! They are completely out of control and there for the money only. Once every five years they try to bribe us and once they are in power, they go about well and truly shafting us. I’ll never vote for any of them ever again, never.

    The only politician who did anything for me and my ilk(virtually penniless east enders) was Margaret Thatcher. Labour and the unions went out of their way to destroy this country and any one who wanted to work really hard and earn a great living. They are still doing this today. Power and their own wealth self aggrandisement is what drives the political weirdos of today. I really loathe you all!


  120. 496
    Anonymous says:

    I don’t suppose these people would ever consider employing home grown cleaners?
    Or are they too expensive for them?

    You couldn’t make it up. If a government minister for immigration can’t even tell if his cleaner is here working correctly, how the effin ell does he expect any one else to work things out either!?

    Another 5 year Parliament and government coming to a close and immigration has got worse, and all those promises from Cameron et al in 2010, whatever happened to them? Words are cheap Dave but actions, well that would take a man with metal, and I’m afraid you’ll never be that! nor will that so called Tory party you lead either. Go join the libdems you seem to love them so much. You never won in 2010 against the most hated pm ever and you aint gonna win in 2015 either, but then again you probably don’t care. You’ll just jump into bed with your whore friends again.


  121. 497
    ancientpopeye says:

    Hell of a lot of trolls on these columns I see.
    Here, we have, at last, an honourable politician, all I see are a lot of troll comments at him when his only crime seems to be a sin of diligent omission.


  122. 500
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Enough of this crap. I want Prime Minister David Cameron sacked. He has the leadership skills of lobotomised plankton.


  123. 501
    All politicians are lying scum who should have a lamppost assigned to them. says:

    Gained ministerial experience whilst quite young, followed orders and entered the fray to show loyalty.

    He then took the opportunity to jump a sinking ship and moved in an orderly fashion to the life boat, that is the backbenchers.

    One to watch I think.


    • 504
      British Jobs for British Workers says:

      Having sustained an illegal immigrant in a job he should have employed a British citizen to do, if anyone. No doubt he pretends to people at election time that he’s a patriot.


  124. 502
    • 521
      David you're-all-in-the-shit-together Cameron says:

      I’ve dug out my wellies – can I come on the Marsh Show too ?


  125. 505
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Ah well after reading that , one can only conclude that like all MP’s
    He resigned although did nothing wrong !

    makes you wonder why he kept on checking every year or so ?
    It’s like a thief looking over their shoulder constantly while shoplifting


    • 539
      The most amusing claim ever says:

      I don’t particularly blame Harper….Moral of the story is …that you retain all paperwork i.e. copies of documents produced relating to anyone you employ as a cleaner ESPECIALLY any Home Office/UKBA Documents that stated that they have indefinite leave to remain and are able to take paid employment which is standard procedure whether or not there was a requirement to do so or not. Any genuine applicant would not object and at least you would have documentary proof or the forgeries. As long as you had taken reasonable steps then I can’t see that you are to blame whether you are Minister or normal member of the public. It was only because Harper was steering immigration bill through Parliament that he had to resign for political reasons

      The question is though…how did they get a National Insurance Number unless they showed passport and documentation stating that they had right to work in UK or perhaps did the DWP not ask ? Surely not.


      • 567
        Expat Geordie says:

        Illegal goes into a pub, picks a fight and then gets beaten up. Calls the police and tells them that all of their documentation has been stolen. Goes to DWP with police crime number and says that I did have everything but it has been nicked, can I have a new NI number please? Computers and departments don’t talk to each other and DWP person can’t be arsed to contact the Home Office, who probably wouldn’t know anyway. Easiest option – issue a new NI number.

        At least that’s how it used to be, or variants thereof.


  126. 511
    Bored says:

    You can see boring, snoring Rachel Reeves’s nipples through her purple dress on the Marr Show at the moment.


  127. 514
    Liebour enemies of the people says:

    I see they have one of those Liebour MPs on the Marr show, she’s spinning so fast, even she eventually stops for breath, she will have put another 100revs of the spinning earth.


  128. 517
    Boys Buggering Club says:

    Andrew Marr just stated “we’re in for 20 years of bad weather” to Eric Pickles!

    And the news reader at 10 spouting on that “Climate Change” is responsible for the bad weather.


    • 563
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      I’m surprised they weren’t playing “Bad Moon Rising” at the time.

      The only good eco-loon is a dead one.


  129. 518
    Wendi says:

    Tony is a straight kinda guy


  130. 523
    Bi-polar Bear says:

    A notice in the toilets at my workplace states “DO NOT STAND ON THE TOILET SEATS”, advice aimed at either sexual perverts or Muslims who believe that their buttocks should not make contact with a toilet seat recently vacated by infidels.

    News reports have recently focused on a resurgence of typhus, a disease not seen in it’s epidemic proportions for hundreds of years. Am I being cynical in observing the fact that the re-emergence of this plague is taking place in areas occupied by our uninvited third world guests? No, it can’t be! To think so would be unforgivably racist and horrible! Please excuse me while I self flagellate myself in newly found wimpish liberal guilt!


    • 529
      Left hand wiper says:



    • 553
      David you're-all-in-the-shit-together Cameron says:

      Thank you, fans.


      No need to stand on ceremony – you know where you should be standing.


    • 557
      Y fronts says:

      Don’t be rude about those of us who stand on bog seats

      It is standard operating procedure for thos of us who like to admire the sausage of the guy in the next stall


  131. 533
    Cardinal Richelieu. says:

    Foghorn Reeves on Marr this morning ranting on about the number of women MPs,she is the perfect example of why theire should be less.


    • 561
      CCHQ strategist says:

      We replace our wimmin lost in combat or who go awol like Chicklite Mensch

      With shirtlifters (or shoplifters to give us street cred)

      This produces roughly the same effect


  132. 537
    Yippeee!!!! says:

    Jenny Jones has just won Britain’s first medal at Sochi.

    Ladies Slopestyle – Bronze Medal


  133. 550
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    From the memory hole:

    D’avid C’ameron = T’ed H’eath Mk II


    The one negative about Thatcher is that she reinvented the Conservative party so radically, that many forgot that things like H’eath and C’ameron can happen.


  134. 551
    Barmaid at Loulou's says:

    Hi Guido

    I’m thee topless barmaid at Loulou’s – very up market wife swapping joint and boozer

    It is true that Tony Blair was here showing off his middle age butt

    He really is full of himselfie ..vtalking about contributions to his Faith Foundation in one breath and the next about contributions to himself

    We don’t like pimps like that in our joints – our nomal member give milliond and don’t take

    Oh BTW he was with the lovely Wendi


  135. 560
    Libdemtosser says:

    So Tessa Munt is now railing against the absurd regulations preventing proper dredging in Somerset. These would be the regulations she and her party, coming from EU, support wholeheartedly in every way possibly.
    Shame Andrew Neill let her off the hook on that.


  136. 566
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Seeing as McShameless is showing no remorse for his crime, the judge who sentenced him is well within his rights to order him to serve the rest of his sentence :-)


  137. 571
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    It would appear that you have all lost your right to unfettered settlement in Switzerland.

    Are you going to enforce trade embargoes and customs controls in retaliation?


  138. 577
  139. 579
    Susy Wong says:

    What a dish. Me legal immigrant, me loves him lots for two dorrars!


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The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.

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