February 7th, 2014

WATCH: Another Successful Media Appearance for Chris Smith


  1. 1
    Mid Staffs Ghost says:

    I expect Owen Paterson will have his resignation by Monday. If he doesn’t Paterson should go himself.

    Has Smith ever seen a farmer before? They don’t have those in Islington do they?

  2. 2
    Clean Up says:

    The farmers and inhabitants of the somerset levels are completely unrepresentative of the people i socialize with back home. Not a person a saw in the room did i weigh up as being bummable. I personally do not want to help.

  3. 3
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    He’s come across many an uphill farmer over the years, or so I’m lead to believe.

  4. 4
    Anon...........& Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    Cameroon must have kaked himself & has just arrived on the Somerset Levels
    & of course all unannounced before hand !!!

    No doubt like EA Chairman he is in for a rough ride…….

    And looks like a very high demand for additional Loo Rolls this weekend
    right across the (shambles of ) Government

  5. 5
    Soaked Beaver says says:

    that Smith feller blanked me

  6. 6
    Steve Miliband says:

    Dave is there now – obviously waiting for Smith to get the flak first

  7. 7
    Twampersand says:

    Sooner or later on of these professional gabshytes is going to be physically attached.

  8. 8
    lojolondon says:

    Well, when the BBC is criticising a gay, Labour Quango leader – that is totally unheard of – what is the world coming to??

  9. 9
    Ah! I see a rainbow. says:

    Qu33r goings on in Somerset.

  10. 10
    Jimmy says:

    For the last time righties, storms are not caused by gay people.

  11. 11
    Wallying in the mud says:

    Silence from Miliband, Bradshaw, Twigg over Environmental Agency policy of last ten years which has led to current debacle in the Somerset Levels. The wally from Islington knows best about nature, environment and farming.

  12. 12
    walking into darkness says:

    if only he were a dyke and maybe he could put a finger in it

  13. 13
    Liz Hurley says:

    Sally and I have a lot in common. We both copped off with a bloke called Clinton.

  14. 14
    Jolly doc says:

    A candidate for a tonsillectomy with a pitchfork via the rectal route…..

  15. 15
    Skeptical Voter says:

    Why are these ex-Labour Govt. tossers still anywhere near decisions that affect people’s lives? They should all be entombed half a mile under Rockall until they have written out ten thousand times their fulsome apologies for shafting everyone in the country between 1997 to 2010.

    Written in their own blood, mind.

    Labour – living proof that democracy is a shite system.

  16. 16
    David Icke says:

    I have to say, with the budget these Lizards must have you would think they would be able to afford more realistic prosthetic faces.

  17. 17
    Ah! says:

    Wake up. Old Comment

  18. 18
    Clinton Bough in da house says:

    Hear me now! I’m looking for the love of a good woman. In the meantime, I’ll just settle for shagging Sally. She be one bad gyal! Booyakasha!

  19. 19
    Not on the level says:

    Probably the one vote against the many pleb votes, the many pleb votes win after all it means troughing rights for many and not just the one, you gotta have a bit of democracy innit.

  20. 20
    Lottie Dexter, St Trinian's Hockey Captain and Govt. IT Expert says:

    Can I have his job please?

  21. 21
    John Bercow says:

    I feel so emasculated.

  22. 22
    Big Farmer says:

    The farmers on the levels will have been taking ‘environmental’ subisidies from all of us for the last 20+ years.

    There isn’t much money in doing any actual farming. You can argue about why that is, but that’s the actualite.

    So there should be a choice:

    a) Continue taking the environmental subsidies and get flooded

    b) Stop all the subsidies and maximise the production, and pay for the defences themselves through their own internal drainage board

    I think the first option will be preferred.

    Not sure why there is so much enthusiasm on here for spending taxpayer’s money on propping up unsustainable business.

    Fair enough, though – the Environment Agency is a waste of time and money. We should stop pretending it does or is capable of doing anything very much.

  23. 23
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Depends on what type of storm jimmy.

    Shit storms being one so loved of the left.

  24. 24
    Ah! but says:

    ..dear folk of Somerset. He was the first gay MP to come out. I think it’s called irony.

  25. 25
    Out of Order says:

    THIS IS THE LONDON BBC at ten. News: BBC South-West editor and team has been sacked for misrepresentation of luvvie using questioning and approach that insinuated guilt and failing to use editorial rules to rectify this inappropriate representation.

  26. 26
    Soaked Beaver says says:

    not even golden showers?

  27. 27
    Incompetence Rules says:

    One question. Having saved money by stopping dredging how much have the bonuses of the Noble Lord and his minions increased ?

  28. 28
    Fred's wind turbines says:

    Where is he hiding, in one of the army wagons, safer for him, wouldn’t want the levelers to get him and get some of his £12 billion foreign aid.

  29. 29
    EA says:

    You forgot option c.

    c) Flood the fuckers and protect the water vole.

  30. 30
    Jimmy says:

    Aren’t they Greek righties?

  31. 31
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    Yes it all started under Labour ,they never dredged the rivers during
    thirteen years of Labour mismanagement.

  32. 32
    Cast Iron Dave says:

    I’m using Lord Smith as a prophylactic so to speak.

  33. 33
    Gordon Brown says:

    For some reason when I was in power they were just called ‘en showers’

  34. 34
    Genghiz the kahn says:
  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Not enough money? Not enough money? The EA is one of the largest in the world. He needs to address the incompetence and utter waste by his staff as exposed at http://www.insidetheenvironmentagency.co.uk. What a wally!!!

  36. 36
    Ah! but says:

    Farmer says ” At least you’ve got wellies on THIS TIME ”
    Smith replies ” This is the first and last fucking time you’ll see me here. You are mistaking me for Les Patterson “

  37. 37
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    Lefties Jim just like the NSDAP

  38. 38
    tuttie fruity your a real mean person says:

    Do you have proof! Jimmy after all you expect us to believe the bollocks your masters try to brainwash us with

  39. 39
    Lying bastard, Resign says:

    A smile that even Josef Mengele would be proud of

  40. 40
    Bert the Builder says:

    THat has got to be a first!

  41. 41
    Welsh Farmers says:

    We won’t let him into Wales. It will upset the local townies out of time social activities.

  42. 42
    BBC Uman Capital Dept says:

    The reporter has been sent for reconditioning training

  43. 43
    Silent Majority says:

    Lord Smith is a disgrace, the symbol of crony politics.

    That farmer took him apart. Watch the Lord flee into his car at 2m30

  44. 44
    Angry farmer hetero says:

    …..Neglected,silted drainage on the somerset levels was his brief,he is chairman and gay,so,you are wrong!

  45. 45
    Berlington Bertie (from Bow) says:

    Correct. Nuff said!

  46. 46
    David Cameroñ says:

    Why is everyone talking about EA?

    Didn’t they create the SIMS?

  47. 47
    I Remember Ewe says:

    I saw him in wellies once I think.

  48. 48
    Berlington Bertie (from Bow) says:


  49. 49
    frank says:

    Janner Power!

    The west country folk burned Edward II’s catamite in front of Hereford cathedral. How about a real bonfire of the Quangos? Let history repeat.

    PS the subsidies are paid to farmers to compensate for the abuses of the Supermarket cartel, the Common Ag. Policy and all the horrible government agencies from the Min of Ag down.

  50. 50
    Starring Godfrey Bloom playing the one eyed mong says:

    It all started in America behind the fridge

  51. 51
    The British media are cunts says:

    These mongs keep saying that dredging is not the complete solution. No it’s not, but it’s a fucking good start. They also need to clear out the drainage ditches, upgrade the Victorian drainage system AND if we’re going to build on flood land then demand that developers build houses and roads etc. up off the ground so that when flooding does happen it’s does not cause the carnage it does now.

    I still suspect this whole thing is part of a scam to try to make people think this is all caused by climate change. It’s fucking bollocks. Global temperatures have not risen in 15 years and it can’t be warming of the north pole as that’s had an increase in ice over the last year.

    Also most of Europe has copped this weather but don’t seem to be drowning. My rail station car park was flooded this morning, fuck all to do with climate change and to do with the fact the drains were all clearly blocked with sludge, leaves and general debris.

  52. 52
    Honest John says:

    We understand the UK Environment Agency is the biggest in the world bar the USA and has more staff than the EAs of France, Germany, Canada, Denmark and and Sweden COMBINED.

    Oh! The Cuts, the Cuts, how can we bear these terrible Tory Cuts !

    Now, is your bum ready dear boy.

  53. 53
    A reminder of how arrogant New Labour actually was says:

    It’s obvious now as the day has progressed what Cameron’s strategy is on handling the developing and growing crisis in the “Somerset Levels” it’s that Chris Smith is the “Human Shield” to draw the wrath of the inhabitants and who will be sacrificed probably Monday or Tuesday after the “Sundays” have published.

    I have to say though that Smith’shandling of the encounter was disastrous Firstly he takes days to arrive to look at the situation; nect he smugly and arrogantly says he has no intention of resigning and finally he brushes aside the concerns of the locals and that farmer with a demeanour of someone who has just discovered a nasty smell or a peice of dog shit on his shoe.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Never a shortage of those thug fucking khunts in yellow jackets is there, bastards.

  55. 55
    We deserve more, thank you says:

    We run an organization that has grown faster than most UK companies and charities. We have cut out “out going costs”. All our offices have been modernized. We are passing on the Climate Change message. We have a Lord Luvvie from Islington presiding from on high guiding us.

  56. 56
    Check Facts First says:

    The Somerset Levels is a significant area of land below sea level. It is drained by two man made channels so that it can be farmed. We have had historic levels of rain this year and last and guess what, the land is reverting back to what is used to be. It is no use Sky and the BBC indulging in which poliitcian is to blame more than the other. You play with Mother Nature at your peril. Charles, Cameron and all others others can do their token visits but it isn`t going to dry out until this odd spell of weather comes to an end. And that doesn`t look like it is going to be any-time soon.

  57. 57
    JACK DRILLME says:

    Fuck me it’s Chris Bo Selecta Smith A totally and utterly useless fucker
    who is still fleecing us for about 350,000 a year
    £105,000 for his Three day a week job
    His gold plated MP’s pension
    His £300 a Day sign in and sod off lords allowance
    and no doubt a shit load of expenses
    Why do the people of Somersetexpect “protection” , from a man who didn’t even use any in his own sordid life ?

  58. 58
    Lord Bumboy says:

    I think it’s very unfair on Lord Smith to question his lack of expertise on this subject. He’s an expert on being dredged by a massive black cock. As well as being ploughed brutally hard from behind.

  59. 59
    Sue Denim says:

    It’s in the game.

  60. 60
    Fish says:

    Not just Smith, his predecessor was another Labour Peer, Baroness Barbara Young.

    Environment Agency’s acceptance in 2000 that it should go along with the Eco lunacy of letting nature take it course and allow the rivers and waterways to silt up, as this from the DM (below) says,

    ‘Labour peer, Baroness (Barbara) Young of Old Scone was put in to run it (The Environment Agency) in 2000, she and her officials decided on a new priority.

    Instead of managing the Levels as farmland, large parts of them should be allowed to return to being a swampy wilderness as nature reserves for birds and other wildlife.

    As Baroness Young famously once observed: ‘I’D LIKE TO SEE A LIMPET MINE PUT ON EVERY PUMPING STATION.’ ‘


  61. 61
    Someone from Islington says:

    Do sheep have a clitoris?

  62. 62
    John Bercow says:

    Sally says I’m a house on stilts…

    Nowt downstairs.

  63. 63
    Cinna says:

    I wish more people had Gove’s nerve and got rid of these Socialist’s still hanging on to power. Clear the lot out. He’s not going to resin, far too used to the money any and the perks.

  64. 64
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Even the ones on leave are emailing their local MP to say they have witnessed the floods personally.

  65. 65
    A Welsh Vet says:


  66. 66

    What is this mother nature bullshit just get the dredgers in !

  67. 67
    Jimmy says:

    If you lot ever get brainwashed it’ll be using the economy cycle.

  68. 68
    Fish says:

    Yes. Immediately. He actually used the word ‘LABOUR’…and not in a positive way.

  69. 69
    JACK DRILLME says:

    The other useless C*nt Cameron is down the kings road being fitted out with his wellies as we speak so that he can go there and have a paddle for a photo opp
    Let hope the farmers also rip him a new one

  70. 70
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Labour grandees do not like to mix with the hoi-polloi longer than they have to. Lord Smith is more at home in the rarified atmosphere of London and Covent Garden or the National Ballet not some flooded lane in Somerset which smells of cow shit. to

  71. 71
    Ah! but says:

    Smith…a First in English!

    Farmer…. a First in Communication.

  72. 72
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Angry farmer makes a good point. UKIP can say with some justification that one gay is responsible for the flooding!

  73. 73
    The BBC says:

    Brown is a typical posh Tory boy “out of his depth” who got a cushy job as chairman from his rich pals. It shows how out of touch the government are. Let’s have a R5 phone-in.

    Sorry, what’s that – he’s Labour?

    Oh well, nothing to see here then. Let’s all fly out to Sochi instead.

  74. 74
    Davud Cameron says:

    Don’t worry plebs. I’ve got it all sorted. More taxes on the Middle Classes will solve the problem.

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, yes – please Sir, go easy

  76. 76
  77. 77
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Cameron will go nowhere near The “Somerset Levels” as it’s particularly toxic and not just in the sense of burst sewers either. Every day that passes loses another Tory voter

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Is it me, or is Lord Smith starting to look like Gadhafi with a wig?

  79. 79

    If they cut out £12 000,000,000 in foreign aid and used the taxpayers money to the benefit of the taxpayers,the problem of money would be solved instantly .

  80. 80
    Robdog says:

    Mmm! Make his eyes water . . . but haven’t they got enough bloody water?

  81. 81
    Somerset Druid says:

    The locals should kidnap him, strangle him and chuck him in the water to appease the gods-like one of those stone age bog men (no, not that kind of bog man).

  82. 82
    JACK DRILLME says:

    Makes me wonder if Camermong realises just how much work is involved in dredging a river that has not been touched for more than ten years
    he talks about it like its a five minute job

  83. 83
    Evening News says:

    “Labour politician turns out to be fucking useless shocker”

  84. 84
    Ed Balls says:


  85. 85
    LibLabConners are useless Cnuts says:

    Good on ya Farmer. Now skewer that other gay lover Camoron.

  86. 86
    Jimmys Greek relations says:

    National socialist by any chance?

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe not but they grow carrots in Camberwell.

  88. 88
    Tosser Dave says:

    An easy peasy job for the troops just back from afgannistan.

    P.S. I’ve instructed plod to arrest all those anti-gayers in Mummerset that have shafted Lord Smith H.I.V. today.

  89. 89
    Baroness Ashton of Brussels says:


    I am the EU’s great factotum in these parts, the great panjandrum, and I call the shots.

    There’ll be no dredging, understand? We have EU rules now, you can’t dredge, you can’t put silt on your fields, you can’t upset the little birdies and you certainly can’t criticise a Labour Peer or the BBC.

    Now go away oiks and pay your EU subs, €bn a day should be sufficient. Oh and don’t forget to stand for the EU National Anthem

    Deutschland Urber Alles, Cathy

  90. 90
    Brown man says:

    Economic spin cycle

  91. 91
    Making a living says:

    Happy Man? J

  92. 92
    Cardinal Biggles says:

    What happened to our glorious leader’s ‘bonfire of the Quangos’?

    (Rhetorical question).

  93. 93
    Zummerzett says:

    Give the job to Sally Morgan.
    Her OFSTED tears probably caused the flooding in the first place.
    She’ll sort it all out and looks better in wellies than Chris Smith.
    Problems solved all round and another Labour lovie takes control

  94. 94
    Jimmy u kLIP says:

    None of us would have noticed if a national media organization had not broadcast it.

  95. 95
    Llareggub says:

    living proof that democracy is a shite system

    But better than any of the alternatives, to quote Churchill

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Did the BBC chap say bumfight or bunfight?

  97. 97
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    What an utter wanker.

    He should be fired by the end of the day.

  98. 98
    Fuck the EU says:

    Shove it mong brain.

    Let Uncle Sam show you how it’s really done…

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    Oh great, chuck more money at the EA to waste. Great idea! How about we tackle the abuse and waste first, before increasing their budget 1,000%

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    Lord Smith also chairs the Advertising Standards Agency. Perhaps the Environment Agency’s claims of competence should be investigated.

  101. 101
    Fishy says:

    He’s got rid of about 180 or so, so far

  102. 102
    Dave & Nick says:

    We’ve discussed the problems and decided there are no poor people nd no millionaires affected so if you live in Somerset just fuck off and pay more taxes.

  103. 103
    Lord Smith of Finsbury Park Mosque says:

    Im’ looking for a dyke to stick my finger in, anyone help!

    Sorry it’s best I can do at the moment although I would love to get my hands on the IPSA, another of those utopian jobs that entails doing nothing at all for lovely cash!

    Oh I thought about giving my lovely lordly daily £300 back pocket money to the wonderful people of Somerset, but then agian what is that going to do to help on second thought’s I will troser it!

  104. 104
    Lord Smith of Finsbury Park Mosque says:

    again and trouser obviously, was in a rush to get that bit of PR out there.

  105. 105
    Lord Smith of Finsbury Park Mosque says:

    That explains why I have advised against advertisers placing “wonder bra” max cleavage ads in “sensitive” places.

    I had forgotten I take money that little scam ( ASA) as well!!


  106. 106
    Useless ballbags says:

    No point the BBC getting all indignant with Lord Smith, given that its the very same BBc which has supported all the Eco bollocks over the last fifteen years which has delivered such a disaster to Somerset.
    …and Prince fucking Charles too.

  107. 107
    UKIP does what it says on the tin says:

    In fact Chris Smith approved the plan to return the Somerset levels to its original swamp like condition, and he did so by agreeing to a wilful neglect of the rivers in order to do it.

    Typical socialist lying through his teeth when caught.

  108. 108
    Libertie(s) says:

    Two very old quotes

    He’s fallen in de water!!!!!


    ‘Es been deaded

  109. 109
    Lola says:

    Lord Smith – degree in English and PhD in two dead poets.

    So nothing about engineering then?

    Ignorant fuck.

  110. 110
    Immediately says:

    Why hasn’t he been sacked?

  111. 111
    Somerset Yokel says:

    Why didn’t ‘Lord’ Smith want to join in a sing-song?

  112. 112
    JACK DRILLME says:

    Shame he didn’t use one the dirty fucker

  113. 113
    FFS says:

    Strangely enough in this case the flooding was actually caused by a gay person.

  114. 114
    Lord Smith of Many Quangos and Finsbury Park says:

    You idiots, the clue is in the words levels, ie, below sea levels, I would advise all the people living there to follow me in the finest socialist tradition and to buy a very big pile on a nice hill somewhere surrounded by a large fence to keep the water and the plebs out!

  115. 115

    Not on those idiots, but civil engineers to repair the sea defences and re drain the Levels .

  116. 116

    I only went to Bummerset because they told me a few farmers needed their drains rodding
    When i got there , there was shit everywhere , reminded me of my duvet

  117. 117
    Proftastic says:

    To get rich and to stay in power as long as possible has always been the goal of every socialist leader. Labour spent much of their time in power making sure that if they lost an election most grandees would still be in power, getting rich, in charge of QUANGO’s or running the Olympics or in some International role at the UN or EU etc.

    It’s one of the reasons the UK has no money left. As soon as measures are taken to remove them or streamline their ridiculously high budgets they start flinging faeces from their perches. Notice what happened at OFSTEAD last week?

    Chris Smith certainly will not resign, he’s put all his effort into digging himself a moat (and dredging it copiously) at the Environment agency. Who will cross the drawbridge and slay the lizard I wonder?

  118. 118
    Troughers for Life Association says:

    Chris Smith cannot be condemned for following the tradition of placemen on the public teat. These people were not put there because of their abilities but simply as a means of diverting taxpayer funds to mediocraties. Give the man a break.

  119. 119
    Spineless Twat in Number 10 says:

    Because I’m the spineless twat in Number 10.

  120. 120
    Nemesis says:

    Check Facts First: Stupid twat. If the rivers had been dredged over the last ten years or so then much of the water could escape. Yes there have always been floods here but when the rivers are choked with silt the floods get worse.

  121. 121
    Smith's catamite says:

    Daddy after that visit to those smelly people will you punish me tonight, please?

  122. 122
    Welcome to Somerwet, the EU's new flood park says:

    We’ve sent £1, 000, 000, 000 to foreign governments in the past month and two buffoons to the Somerset Levels.
    Serves you right for voting Tory and LibDems.

  123. 123
    Faceinthecrowd says:

    What a useless Cnut
    Years of neglect and political correct shite has condemned decent hardworking folk to misery.
    We need people who can manage properly and not get an unaccountable cushy number for useless washed up politicians who f&£k it up and embarrass themselves,like today, to show how out of depth they are.
    A disgrace.

  124. 124

    He has no intention of resigning and taking his snout out of the trough.

  125. 125
    DG says:

    Lady Young was Chairman of the Environment Agency until 2008 (Labour of course). She is now chief Exec of Diabetes UK. Glad I’m not a diabetic.

  126. 126
    C leads to D says:

    d) Produce much less food. Force Smith and Islington luvvies into halving the food on their plate.

  127. 127
    DG says:

    sorry – a mistake. Sir John Harman (a former Maths teacher and Labour party member was Chairman from 2000 to 2008, Young was chief Executive. Jobs for Labour all round…

  128. 128
    Boris Johnson says:

    We half the shit the super sewage systems could be shelved or used by London Underground.

  129. 129
    Welcome to Somerwet, the EU's new flood park says:

    Update ;
    Cameron’s turned up so it’s now 3 buffoons.

  130. 130
    Alan says:

    Where is there ANY democracy in the appointment of Labour luvvies to sinecures such as the EA ? And at salaries higher than the PM gets ? For a 3 day week, allowing him sufficient time off to do his other 11 jobs ?

    Alan Douglas

    PS Must be gone next week.

  131. 131
    Anonymous says:

    Did the reporter say “Bum fight ” or “Bun fight” – wasn’t sure with Chris Smith there.

  132. 132
    Anonymous says:

    Got rid if the Socialists? Gove appointed that dopy mare in the first place!!

  133. 133

    Dave is so concerned about “Hard working families” that it’s taken him 5 whole weeks to go and meet a few

  134. 134
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Dangerously candid interview from the local BBC man. I hope this doesn’t wreck his promotion prospects. Not on-message at all.

  135. 135
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Breaking news: ‘To avoid overstretch while the Army is helping with the floods in Somerset, Lord Smith and the Environment Agency are being redeployed to Helmand to disarm landmines and tackle the Taliban’.

    Oh well, a boy can dream.

  136. 136
    NE Frontiersman says:

    That’s UKIP for you: always ahead of the curve!

  137. 137
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Sadly, there’s nothing dry enough to burn him at the stake with.

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    I’m sick of hearing about the flooding in the Somerset levels. If you build on land and live in areas below sea level, you are asking for flooding. Do the locals think that the rest of us should be taxed in order to drain an area which has always and will always flood?
    Just listen to the Cornish. They have serious problems but they are cheerful,upbeat and resilient blaming no-one for the weather.
    The Somerset lot are a load of selfish whingers. An absoluter disgrace blaming everyone and everything except themselves.

  139. 139
    Indian High Commission says:

    Forget flooding, we’ve got a Space Programme you losers!

  140. 140
    Big Farmer says:

    The initial flooding mostly happened from the sea, so it had nothing much to do with the state of the drainage.

    The problem now is the capacity of the pumps.

    If you want to undermine the flood banks by digging a big hole, go right ahead. It will only fill with sea water at high tide and the capacity of the river will be unchanged.

    If you want an engineered concrete channel, then fine, but don’t ask those who aren’t living in the bottom of a bowl to pay for it, unless you take it out of that High Level Stewardship subsidy…

  141. 141
    Lord Smith of Hoity Toity & Gaydom says:

    Listen you fucking plebs…yes, I said plebs – you can quote me on that. My first duty is to the Islington Levels. There are numerous bistros, restaurants and trendy bars in imminent danger from climate change. What will happen if your betters can’t get a decent lunch or a drink? Think of that before you start acting up, you bastards.

  142. 142
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Preferably from a canon :-)

  143. 143
    Lord Smith says:

    Now, now… you listen hear. Do as your told. With 12,000 desk bound, bone idle staff, I will order the rape and pillage of your village. See whether a bit of water is the most of your concerns then.

  144. 144
    Llareggub says:

    Nothing that doesn’t happen anywhere else, but at least you can vote the government that appointed him out of office

  145. 145
    Jack Ketch says:

    They don’t produce truffles, fois gras, Rock Lobster or prosciutto in Somerset.
    Although, looking at Smith, he could probably survive on babies alone.

    (Waitrose in Liverpool Road, Islington has 84 different types of olive available. My Tescos has just green ones or black ones!)

  146. 146
    DCL says:

    In a very crowded field he has to be in the running for the ugliest politician award.

  147. 147
    Jack Ketch says:

    ….and as you wrote this Cameron was talking to famers and villagers in the Somerset Levels–Joanna Southcott you are not!

  148. 148
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    A break as in break his fuckin’ neck :-)

  149. 149
    Ben Doon and Phil Mcavity says:

    Lord Chris is such a nice man a bit hard of hearing since his troubles he thought he was going to Somerset House to atten a civil union.

  150. 150
    Dreary Steeples says:

    Frank, you certainly have your finger on the pulse.

  151. 151
    The wizz says:

    Stupid little boy!

  152. 152
    The wizz says:

    @C: Could not agree more, but the Socialists’ stick like shit to a blanket. They think they will get in again LOL.

  153. 153
    just asking says:

    Is that you Chris?

  154. 154
    The wizz says:

    I concur, could not put that better myself.

  155. 155
    The wizz says:

    How would you know, I doubt whether you would be able to differentiate between a fork or spade.

  156. 156
    Cornish pasty says:

    His arrogance today has been breathtaking.
    Smith has no concept of the utter tragedy unfolding
    throughout our countryside,towns and coasts.
    He’s incompetent,has been caught blatantly lying
    and,as one local described ‘couldn’t organise a
    piss-up in a brewery.’
    FFS sack him and bring in an expert.

  157. 157
    The wizz says:

    Which one, Ford Prefect and does he know the answer Is 42?

  158. 158
    The wizz says:

    @BF: Your (b) hits the nail on the head, but you have forgotten that the EU banned Dredging. However you will never hear ‘Can’t Decide Camoron’ (CDM) admit to this.

  159. 159
    Gordon Brown says:

    You called?

  160. 160
    Bob's mate says:

    Yeah, that ‘Jethro’ is hilarious!

  161. 161
    Lord Smith of Bendover & Gritcherteeth says:

    Usually I like getting some rough treatment in a bog, but this time it was horrid.

  162. 162
    The wizz says:

    Jack; now you realise what these placemen/women are all about. Trying to close down these QUANGOs’ are a another matter, as they were set up by the Government of that time, and would have built-in protection from incoming Governments’. Which could accrue a very-very big and expensive severance payments an pensions.

  163. 163
    FFS says:

    Rubbish. You obviously now precisely NOTHING about the area. The sea goes out a hell of a long way at Burnham when there is a low tide. The River Parrett is actually flowing quite will towards the sea and is currently well below its maximum level.

    The problem is that the water in the surrounding land is not making its way to the river, largely due to lack of dredging and clearing of the drainage ditches.

    Flooding of the Somerset Levels is a regular and normal event, but the problem here is that the levels are not draining.

    Those at the EA that are in favour of the levels being allowed to flood have not worked out that the Sever estuary has a very big tidal range, so what is likely to happen is that the whole area turns not into a shallow lake suitable for wading birds and their nests, but a vast mud flat alternating between either being totally flooded to several feet causing wildlife to be wasdhed away, or stinking masses of mud, rather like Southend.

    Some have suggested that the area could be turned into a national part like the Camargue. However, the Camargue is on the warm Mediterranean coast and does not suffer from tides. It is foolish to believe the levels could be anything similar. They were not in history like this and would become more like the desolate wasteland known as Maplin Sands.

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Gay ass prick needs to be set on a pike – butt first!

  165. 165
    fed up in britain says:

    what a fucking shower. Orfe with caMORANS HEAD.

  166. 166
    Hugh Jend says:

    Ones that do are soon sorted out by a “doctor” in a shitty street in lewislum.

  167. 167
    Hugh Jend says:

    One question…where has most of smith’s face gone?

  168. 168
    Hugh Jend says:

    Quite right David….looks like he’s had a fight with an industrial vacuum pipe and lost!

  169. 169
    Hugh Jend says:


  170. 170
    Poor Bloody Taxpayer says:

    Maybe you would be a tad unhappy if you were betrayed by this useless Quangocrat. Smith should resign, if he had a shred of honour. Which he won’t, because he doesn’t.

  171. 171
    Taxpayer says:

    “Dave” doesn’t give a fuck about “hard working families”. They’re just tax fodder for him and his mates.

  172. 172
    thostids says:

    Well, that’s not strictly fair. The Somerset Levels have had statutory provision for drainage and maintenance since the 1750s. If you subvert that provision by writing off the Body to undertake it and give it to lazy and ignorant politicos with other spending plans who promise to have a modest amount of such work done and don’t have it done for year after year then you end up with 25 square miles of floods.
    You know perfectly well that heads must roll, but Labour’s cultured faggot won’t resign and Cameron’s tactician has clearly decided that this reflects worse on Labour than Cameron.
    I haven’t heard anyone from the Limp-Dumps say anything.

  173. 173
    Colin the Meek says:

    Smith is clearly an utter hoon. It’s nice to see that the BBC has acquired a helicopter to follow him around. Doubtless thanks to the unique way that the BBC is funded.

  174. 174
    Eh? says:

    Or a spade and a spade?

  175. 175
    Post hoc says:

    He would look at homey in a lily pond.

  176. 176
    Post hoc says:

    Citizen Smith is a typical example of high and mighty labour egos compensating for institutional incompetence on a grand and expensive scale – at our expense.

    Call time on him, the Environment Agency (and other quangos). Give him a stripy uniform and a mop & bucket to go and clear up the mess. He should repay the public money and trust he has received and squandered.

    This should be a warning to any other sinecures.

  177. 177
  178. 178
    Big Farmer says:

    It would originally have been a salt marsh, yes, which then had raised peat bogs form on top.

    The poster above talks about dredging rivers, not clearing drainage ditches. I also understood the protests were about dredging the Parrett, which as you say is not really the problem.

    I’m not sure how you expect land below sea level to drain once it is flooded? A big pump is the only way. As long as there is enough water in the main rivers to prevent flap gates from opening at low tide, you are stuffed.

    I’ve seen this all before in a different part of the country, in 2007. A lot more houses were flooded then, too…

  179. 179
    Fly on the wall says:

    It did, but you also seem to forget that EU “Directive” to just let the place quietly go to “ell…

  180. 180
    Fly on the wall says:

    Such payments can always be deferred for a few years…. a bit like our new state pensions….

  181. 181
    A non emouse says:

    Exactly. And that is the fundamental problem with swathes of decision makers, both in government and business in the UK.

  182. 182
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    It looks like his face has leprosy. Probably brought on by AIDS.

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    When will the media highlight this?

    “It is all very well for Chris Smith, Chairman of the Environment Agency, to prattle on about “difficult choices”, and to tell us that “more must be done to protect the Somerset Levels”. But the flooding crisis over which he is presiding is one which he, at the behest of the EU, has deliberately allowed to happen.

    Allowing the flooding of the Levels was a matter of EU policy, introduced by a 2007 Directive and consciously adopted by the Environment Agency in 2008, which then sought to increase the frequency of flooding in the area.

    What then makes it impossible for the people on the spot, like Owen Paterson, is that they are having to deal with those decisions, which were made years ago. Only now are the consequences becoming evident, while the people (or agencies) who contributed to the disaster are entirely invisible.

    In the “invisible” class is that classic elephant in the room, the European Union, which was behind the last great change in British strategy, heralded by a Defra consultation document in July 2004 called “making space for water”. It introduced “a new Government strategy for flood and coastal erosion risk management in England”.

    The clue as to its provenance came on page 23, under the heading “European Dimension”, which told us that flood risk management was being discussed at the EU level, and the themes under discussion were “all consistent with this consultation and the current approach in England”.

    The outline of the EU approach had in fact been published in a COM final, (2004)472, the very same month as the Defra document, signalling the “European” interest and warning of further activity to come.

    At the time, Charles Clover, writing in the Telegraph, was very far from being impressed. He complained that, while Defra calls it “Making Space for Water”, others called it “flooding”. And, in those few words, the future government policy was revealed. Flood defence was to give way to “management”. In EU terms, that meant more flooding.

    Government consultation continued into 2005, making it very clear that a “new strategic direction” was involved, one which involved changing the emphasis from flood protection to allowing certain areas to flood. For Somerset, this had already been spelled out in an EU-funded conference in Warsaw in 2003, outlining the results of the Ecoflood projects at a cost of €350,000, finalised in 2005.

    Flood defence for farm land, along with high levels of subsidies, had been for many years an important element of Britain’s production-orientated agricultural policy, wrote the authors. Many floodplain areas benefited from publicly-funded flood defence and land drainage schemes which reduced crop damage and facilitated a change to more intensive farming systems.

    Recently, however, they continued, policy emphasis has been placed on environmental enhancement, on greater diversity of economic activity as a basis for sustainable rural livelihoods, and on public enjoyment of the countryside. Funds previously committed to support farm output are increasingly diverted to encourage land managers to deliver environmental benefits.

    In this context, we were told, there is reduced justification for high standards of flood defence for agriculture. Indeed, there may be substantial benefits if some floodplain land is returned to its previous unprotected, un-drained condition.

    Therein lay the death knell for the Somerset Levels, as a new term was to dominate policy: “Washland”. This was an area of the floodplain that was to be allowed to flood or was deliberately flooded by a watercourse for flood management purposes.

    Unacknowledged by either government, the media or even Chris Smith in his current diatribe, this policy was given legislative force, not by the Westminster parliament but by an EU directive 2007/60/EC of 23 October 2007 on the assessment and management of flood risks.

    There, in recital 14, we saw spelled out the requirement that flood risk management plans should focus on prevention, protection and preparedness. But, “with a view to giving rivers more space, they should consider where possible the maintenance and/or restoration of floodplains, as well as measures to prevent and reduce damage to human health, the environment, cultural heritage and economic activity”.

    There, writ large, was Defra’s “making space for water” policy and all that was needed for an already Green-dominated Environment Agency to abandon the Somerset Levels.

    To reinforce the change, Defra commissioned a research project costing £105,032, carried out by Nottingham University, which noted that “EU legislation is really driving change”. The authors promoted an “ecosystem approach”, an idea much favoured by the EU, helping the move away from traditional flood control.

    The shift in policy can be seen with brutal clarity on the Commission website which gives priority to the “environment”, citing a raft of EU measures, including the Water Framework Directive, the Habitats Directive, the Environmental Impact Assessment and the Strategic Environmental Assessment Directive. The Floods Directive is also part of the package which, we are sternly warned, has to be implemented by 2015.

    Just so that there should be no doubts as to where the policy thrust lay, DG Environment in 2011 issued a note, stressing that flood risk management “should work with nature, rather than against it”, building up the “green infrastructure” and thus offering a “triple-win” which included restoration (i.e., flooding) of the floodplain.

    By then, the Environment Agency needed no encouragement. In its March 2008 plan it had decided that, “providing a robust economic case for maintenance works on the Somerset Levels and Moors remains a challenge” (p.131).

    We believe, the Agency said, that “it is appropriate to look again at the benefits derived from our work, particularly focusing more on the infrastructure and the environmental benefits, which previous studies have probably [been] underestimated”.

    We have, they added, “international obligations to maintain and enhance the habitats and species in the Somerset Levels and Moors, and it is within this context that all decisions have to be made”.

    And, with that, they were “doubtful that all the pumping stations on the Somerset Levels and Moors are required for flood risk management purposes. Many pumping stations are relatively old and in some cases difficult to maintain. It is necessary to decide which ones are necessary particularly in the context of redistributing water”.

    Of six policy options, the Agency thus adopted the sixth, to: “Take action to increase the frequency of flooding to deliver benefits locally or elsewhere, which may constitute an overall flood risk reduction”. This policy option, they said, “involves a strategic increase in flooding in allocated areas” (p.141). The Levels were to be allowed to flood, as a matter of deliberate policy.

    Thus, when the BBC reported that the government had been “slow to act”, it could not have been more wrong. Our true government, the EU, had been there years before, planning to make the disaster that has overtaken the people of that part of Somerset a routine occurrence. The flooding was not so much man-made as made by government.

    By the time Owen Peterson arrived to try to deal with the situation, he was years too late. Between the EU, the previous Labour government and the Environment Agency, the damage had already been done.”

    I repeat, when will the media highlight this?

  184. 184
    Spike says:

    …..”Eccles,..is that you?

  185. 185
    I'm watching you, you.... says:

    Will some one in the media supply us with a breakdown of Lord Smiths jobs, days on each per week, remuneration and days spent signing on in the House of Lords.

  186. 186
    Paid thousands to do fuck all says:

    Why is he wearing a Bo Selecta mask ?

  187. 187
    Anonymous says:

    Bad news: The country has been lain waste. The shape of things to come? (See fly-fracking for further details).

    Good News: This situation provides an ideal opportunity, for politicians to demonstrate their ability to walk on water. An essential attribute, for getting us out that mire they’re about to guide us all right into.

  188. 188
    Observation says:

    As long as people continue voting for the LibLabCon Party the politicians will continue appointing each other to lucrative positions. Don’t believe me, just look at the chocolate teapots like Smith that are being generously remunerated for utter failure.

    Let them know the games up, vote ukip. Each ukip mp that gets into the HOC will reduce the problem proportionately, and have a disproportionate effect on the LibLabCon.

  189. 189
    Cost-of-Labour-crisis says:

    Dropped from the 10 o’clock main news bulletin. Wonder why?

  190. 190
    Anonymous says:

    are you allowed to say that these days?

  191. 191
    ANON says:

    His refusal to apologise is merely following the precedent set by Brown & Balls.

  192. 192
    Graham says:

    Unfortunately they probably will , all because Cameron hasn’t got any balls to deal with the LuDumb shits.

  193. 193
    Rightwinggit says:

    Don’t you mean cannon?

    Oh, hang on…

  194. 194
    Graham says:

    Can someone please say when was the last time the rivers etc were dredged ? Also who was reponsible for the decision to stop dredging ?

  195. 195
    Nemesis says:

    I believe they were regularly dredged until the late 1990s. Then the Green Party and other tree huggers began their environmental campaign to save voles and other creatures saying dredging destroyed their habitat. The idiots have now shot themselves in their corporate feet because all the fucking wildlife is now dead – drowned under the flood water.

  196. 196
    Dingy Dave says:

    I fully support Lord Smith of Finsbury, even though he has a rather weird looking plastic jaw.

  197. 197
    dr river says:

    i think dredging of the rivers was stopped so flooding could be blamed on climate change.

    what are the tories doing they have to get a grip of these agencies with massive budgets run by labour lovies.

  198. 198
    Fbi says:

    Lord Smith not welcome in.Wales and for punishment he should be sent down the coalmines to work as punishmemt for gettings wrong re: the Somerset Floods. I HOPE the pits do not flood as we will not see Lord Smith again

  199. 199
    Anonymous says:

    Eric Pickles has finally said it as it is: who’d have funk the Environment Agency was at fault. Deliberate plans to flood the worst affected areas, giving false advise to government,total mismanagement and ever growing bloated bureaucratic workforce. Inside the EA has been telling the truth all this time and now ministers are beginning to see. When will the rest of the quangos be opened up to full public disclosure. This type of failure is endemic throughout quango-land!

  200. 200
    Nemesis says:

    Absolutely agree. I liked the bit when Pickles said the government thought they were being advised by experts.

  201. 201
    Mrs Havisham says:

    Pickles could do with a lot less food.

  202. 202
    Mrs Havisham says:

    What do you expect from a man who didn’t know about his trip switch?

  203. 203
    The Critic says:

    Ah Jimmy, I see your grasp of meteorology has finally improved.

  204. 204
    bubble says:

    The quangocracy has absolutely nothing to do with democracy – that’s why the political class invented it – and the EU is the quango di tutti quango.

  205. 205
    bubble says:

    spot on

  206. 206
    bubble says:

    “because all the fucking wildlife is now dead – drowned under the flood water.”

    Exactly. They’re not only ****s they’re brainless ****s.

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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