February 5th, 2014

1,000 Pilgrims Culled

The early stats on Frankie Maude’s reforms of trade union facility time don’t make great reading, but Guido is pleased to report the Cabinet Office is getting its act together. New figures for the third quarter of 2013 reveal the total number of Pilgrims has dropped by 1,000, saving £17 million last year. Cash wasted on Pilgrims as a proportion of the whole paybill is less than a third of what it was in 2011, with another £21 million worth set to be cut next year. Viva la revolucion…

UPDATE: Maude is kicking back on the earlier figures:

“In December, it was reported that costs of trade union representation in the Civil Service had risen under this Government. That is entirely untrue and the figures were flawed. The report was based on claimed costs for 2010-2011 of half what our rigorous mapping exercise found. The report’s 2010-2011 figures entirely excluded costs from HM Revenue & Customs, one of the biggest departments; underreported Ministry of Justice costs significantly; and assumed that the cost of full-time representatives for the Department for Work & Pensions accounted for all the costs (i.e. not counting the cost of over 1,300 part-time representatives). The 2010-2011 data was compiled from Parliamentary Questions and FOI requests, based on different methodologies. In addition some departments gave their figures from before proper monitoring was introduced, thus underreporting their actual numbers. The same report used data less up-to-date than the numbers which will be published tomorrow, thus over-reporting the ‘current’ costs.”

Well Guido is sure that has made everything clearer.


  1. 1
    Sally says:

    Me so horny!

  2. 2
    Jane Pig Grim says:


  3. 3
    Ah! wonder says:

    If he means Aircraft Carriers?

  4. 4
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Excellent news. Better late than never but I fear Labour will reverse this given the chance.

  5. 5
    The Bercow Kids says:

    Daddy, where’s mummy? We haven’t seen her in a few weeks. The last time she was home, it was 4 in the morning and she said something about having had a great time with Leroy.

  6. 6
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    Now I know why Boris has ordered those water cannons. She’ll need a proper hosing down in disinfectant before I’d get close to her.

  7. 7
    Ah! wonder says:

    ‘….saving £17 million’

    Is Guido on commission?

  8. 8
    The Labour Party says:

    Yes. What you fail to appreciate is that the unions contribute billions of pounds to the economy by.. er, well.. they.. they just do.

  9. 9
    Mitch says:

    No doubt there is some creative accounting going on: re-naming job titles, etc. but hopefully there is a genuine reduction.

  10. 10
    One-term Dave says:

    £17 million? Super jolly spiffing! More money for me to give away in foreign aid. I’ll get on the old blower to India’s space programme right now and give them the jolly good news!

    Toodle pip!

  11. 11
    Sandra says:

    IEA report on political charities using British taxpayer cash to fund political activism against capitalism & the free market – & funnel taxpayer cash to their comrades.

    Read it & fume.

  12. 12
    Great Granddad says:

    Once again, Guido proves himself as the most significant ‘instigator, through to change in practice’ in British politics. Well done Guido, I’m proud of you.

  13. 13
    Window Taxidermy says:

    Yes cut the bastards – how dare those workers represnetatives eat into our profits!

  14. 14
    Comrade Bob Crow says:

    Thay yoosd to be corld ‘pilgrims’ but now we corl em ‘wayfarers’ to get past the nu rools.

  15. 15
    BBC News says:

    Mosquito sperm may smell when it’s time to swim.

  16. 16
    Who cares? says:

  17. 17
    Pigs in a trough says:

    Send those unwanted pilgrims over to the public sector in Northern Ireland.
    The hospitals and education boards can’t get enough of them.

  18. 18
    A taxpayer says:

    You want those ‘representatives’, you pay for them.

  19. 19
    Owen Jones's Special Needs Teacher says:

    Great stuff, Owen. Go and preach the good news in Tower Hamlets.

  20. 20
    dai doubtfully says:

    do you seriously think that ‘pilgrims’ will do any work in the places where supposedly they are employed?

  21. 21
    Ed Balls says:

    £17m pah chicken feed, thats only 22% of the £100m I would generate by raising the rich persons tax.

  22. 22
    Fabians are EVIL says:

    Oh happy day

  23. 23
    What ever became of this? says:

  24. 24
    Bluto says:

    But not in Iran, eh Owen? Tweeted much about that lately?

  25. 25
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Will we be giving the money to India’th thpathe pwoegwamme, too?

  26. 26
    Mark Oaten (LibDem) says:

    Give a shit.

  27. 27
    Owen Jones says:

    Homophobia is part of Islam’s rich cultural identity and is to be celebrated.

  28. 28
    JH8594594359-045 says:

    These people are little more than cancer cells that want to get into the lymph nodes of our lives and economy in order that they may spread.

    Make them do a days work for a days pay, the shock might do them good.

    I mean real work, not public sector look-busy bullshit. You know, the sort that people would voluntarily pay you to do with their own money.

  29. 29
    Mr Helpful says:

    She was in the papers yesterday moaning about Benefits Street; she used to be their MP, which isn’t all that surprising.

  30. 30
    I bet Sally never looks that horny with John says:

  31. 31
    Barry says:

    I’m not sure Frankie is the best person to entrust with budgetting, after all he couldn’t sort his own out efficiently:


    Unless it’s a case of poacher turned gamekeeper.

  32. 32
    an angry taxpaying pleb says:

    £17m you say ?

    That is but a tiny little “pinprick”.

    As a taxpayer I demand savings in billions not millions.

    If you cannot deliver after three years then the door is over there for you Mr Maude.

  33. 33
    Some advice for John Bercow says:

  34. 34
    Ed Balls says:

    No, my new department will need a brand new contemplation suite and massage room as the old one will be well old now.

    Money doesn’t grow on trees you know, at least not these days.


  35. 35
    The Critic says:

    The public sector do not make any profits. Do keep up.

  36. 36
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Walk the plank………….walk the plank…………walk the plank……….

  37. 37
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Transexual people have only been about for 20 years or so, since medical science was developed to the point where it could perform the operation.

  38. 38

    The Trade Union Mafia will fight back!

  39. 39
    C.O.Jones says:

    At least Tony Blair and Sally Alley are showing some diversity in their relationships.

  40. 40
    Londoner says:

    It’s not even scratching the surface of the problem. Local authorities are rancid with these Spanish practices.

    Hardly any labour MP’s or councillor’s election expenses stand up to scrutiny when the amount of taxpayers’ money misdiverted by the unions is taken into account, with all sorts of dodgy printing deals, materials invoicing, office space and staff secondments making a mockery of the idea that the taxpayer should not be subsidising the incumbent party at election time.

    And then there is the malign influence of the so-called ‘Co-operative Party’ which needs serious looking at.

  41. 41
    One-term Dave says:

    I waste £11 billion every year on foreign aid – £30 million every day. I’ll tell you what, I’ll cancel it, and use a tiny fraction of the money saved to dredge rivers and stop annual flooding!

    By Jove, I’ve seen the light!

    Toodle pip!

    (Only kidding. I’m going to increase foreign aid, and do nothing about the floods because there’s no money left, you see? Tally ho!)

  42. 42
    BLOB coCROWch says:
  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    “When mummy said she had been on the BBC we thought…………”

  44. 44
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    So, PMQ’s today: Dave’s big chance to justify his salary for Wednesday.

    Will he do that, or will he yet again prove that his premiership is all about colloquially: Fucking the dog ?

    Hoping he pulls something out of the hat ;-)

  45. 45
    Londoner says:

    The true shock is why the Common Purpose controlled coalition cabinet has allowed the issue to even surface. They must be losing their grip.

  46. 46
    Silly Sally B13COW says:

    ‘Tiny little pinprick’ John ! It’s for you.

  47. 47
    Union dinosaurs are sad fat old men says:

    Bob Crow and Len McCluskey, fight? Wheeze maybe.

  48. 48
    A divorce lawyer says:

    He should get straight down the Courts and issue divorce proceedings and a full application for a financial settlement including interim maintenance at the same time as seeking injunctions for anti violence and exclusion from the matrimonial home.

    The divorce should be based on unreasonable behavior relying upon allegation of excessive drinking and nights spent on the town without any adequate explanation as to her movements. An association with a man with roaming black hands “whose identity is unknown to the Petitioner” could also be added.

    Hope this all helps.

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Are you sure they only cost £17,000 each?

  50. 50

    Pulls a hat out of the dog? Dog out of the hat? No. Don’t get it… :-)

  51. 51
    Herman van Rompuy, unelected president of Britain, says:

    I’ve just checked with the bank and today’s payment of £58 million to cover 24 hours’ membership of the EU free-trade area was paid by Cameron at 9:00AM on the dot. I therefore say that he’s earned his wages for today.

  52. 52
    Just appalling says:

    Haven’t they cancelled PMQs, given how terribly awkward it’ll be for our hard working MPs to get there today.

  53. 53
    Happy days says:

    Very interesting but the rest of the country isn’t interested

  54. 54
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Are there NO taxis ?

  55. 55
    If you saw £17k on the pavement, would you not pick it up? says:


  56. 56
    As Ed Miliband says:

  57. 57
    Please, Russia, please nuke London. says:

    I bet the Lords have no problems getting to ‘work’ so they can claim their £300 daily allowance.

  58. 58
    Wait what! says:

    Announcements that should be made during PMQs:

    1. The State will reduce in cost by 50% within 12 months
    2. All quangos will be closed by midnight tonight.
    3. A ballot on our membership of the WU will take place in 8 weeks time.
    4. All short money abolished.
    5. The HoC will consist of 100 MPs by the next election.
    6. Overseas aid will cease today.
    7. The NHS will be privatised by the end of the year.
    8. The BBC will be privatised by the end of the year.
    9. As the state is shrunk, tax-take will reduce commensurately.
    10. The UK will enforce its borders as it sees fit as of now.

    That should do for now.

  59. 59
    Wait what! says:

    item 3 should of course be the EU.

  60. 60
    Still hasn't found what she's looking for. says:

    From husband to pikey to blackman, where next will she go? A Huhne or an Eagle, or even two?

  61. 61
    Please, Russia, please nuke London. says:

    There’s never a great white shark around when you need one, is there?

  62. 62
    Nothing new there. says:

    Everyone knows William Wallace was a scotch skirt wearing gayer.

  63. 63
    Randy Mastiff says:

    I’m hopeful

  64. 64
    Screwed Taxpayer says:

    4 years into “Conservative” Government — why haven’t pilgrims been banned outright?


  65. 65
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    People with real jobs can work from home.

    What is the point of commuting these days ?

  66. 66
    Jack Dromey says:

    Objection milord. My learned friend fails to understand the irresistible lure of big black cock.

  67. 67
    was it something I said? says:

    As is intolerance and misogyny.

  68. 68
    was it something I said? says:

    He’s a boring, self-righteous c*u*n*t.

  69. 69
    BOB CROW says:



  70. 70
    Lateral Thinking says:

    If he doesn’t do that, she will. And the system appears to be tilted in her favor.

    Of course, accidents and murder do happen – the photos show her with guys who are likely capable of violence against a woman, especially one who is above their station. A tragic conclusion to a confused woman’s life, easily attributable to Labours immigration policy.

  71. 71
    A Great, White Shark says:

    I’ve lost my appetite thanks and the BBC are making my type endangered.

  72. 72
    was it something I said? says:

    ‘Foreign aid’ is just back-door bungs to UK engineering and defence companies. Who do you think the UK government insists the money be spent with?

  73. 73
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    In many parts of Britain that is about as good as it gets.

    On the plus side, at least he hasn’t got a funny accent.

  74. 74
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    -> Shrink the state, reduce taxes, increase tax income, pay off national debt faster.

    That would be the sensible policy.

  75. 75
    broderick crawford says:

    May not have spoken but she still arrived in a short skirt and posed for the photo op.

    Narcissist !!

  76. 76
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    One thing we are guaranteed is that Dave’s performance today will either canine or mundane. Hope to be proved wrong ;-)

  77. 77
    John Bellingham says:

    Not so. The Emperor Nero converted a male slave into a females in order to marry him. Caligua did somthing similar. Despite the comments about Islamic “homophobia”, Arabs and Persians have always been a bit partial to the joys of boys and historically would often have young lads completely snipped and “re-assigned” in order to comply with Koranic rules.

  78. 78
    broderick crawford says:

    Phhilip king of Spain says

    Carramba !! Spanish Practices eh ???

    You insult my country I send Medina Sidonia with my Armada to annihilate you gringo s !!!

  79. 79
    John Bellingham says:

    I wonder how long it took Sky and the beebeecee to find English-speaking commuters to interview?

  80. 80
    Jack Ketch says:

    Why ignore the Wanker’s Union?

  81. 81
    Jack Ketch says:

    If you listen to Bob’s Stock exchange trader brother speak, you wonder exactly which one of them took voice coaching lessons to sound more suited to his job.

  82. 82
    Thick brain dead striking railway vehicular operatives says:

    Quite, why wait until next year for the next tranche to be dumped? We don’t understand what all the fuss is about actually.

  83. 83
    Non tv licence taxpayer says:

    Yup, all the ones I saw on Sky were clearly not native to this country. Even my foreign-born wife commented on this fact.

  84. 84
    Ah! says:

    If Schrödinger had had a dog…imagine what we would be missing?

  85. 85
    Bob the Bruce says:

    He’s a funny, boring, self-righteous c*u*n*t.

  86. 86
    Window Taxidermy says:

    If only – public sector – private profit. See how much it now costs to change a lightbulb at a school or in a housing association building.

  87. 87
    English Heretic says:

    Excellent, do you pro- bono work?

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