February 4th, 2014

Watson Up to His Grubby Neck in Falkirk Report

When open and transparent Tom Watson quit the Shadow Cabinet he pretended he wanted the Falkirk report to be published, whinging that “I’ve still not seen the report but believe there are an awful lot of spurious suppositions being written.” Well with the report leaked this morning, for some reason Watson is keeping quiet, spending the day tweeting about Led Zeppelin. Could that be anything to do with it containing damning evidence that “a batch of approx 40 application forms was received by the party with a letter from Len McCluskey stating that Tom Watson said they were OK”, and that, crucially, regarding Unite’s “recruitment work”, “Tom Watson had given it the go ahead”. The conclusions of the report have Unite bang to rights:

Finally confirming what we knew all along. No wonder Miliband wanted to keep it secret…


  1. 1
    Tomorrow's PMQs will be juicy says:

    There is “no doubt” the Unite union recruited members to Labour in Falkirk in an effort to “manipulate” the party’s selection of a parliamentary candidate, a leaked report says. The publication of the previously withheld document comes as Labour’s ruling body meets to discuss changing the party’s relationship with unions. Unite called the report a “stitch-up”.

  2. 2
    A song comes to mind says:

    ” If I say you have a lovely body, will you hold it against me?”

  3. 3
    She was just tongue kissing a friend, that's all! says:


  4. 4
    C.O.Jones says:

    So much for democracy and the Labour Party.

    Their transparency is as clear as shit in a brown bottle.

  5. 5
    Fat Twatson says:

    Look over there, the evil Tories are trying to fill the quango’s with placement.

  6. 6
    Mark Oaten says:

    You called?

  7. 7
    Tom loves Geedo says:

  8. 8
    Dr nookie says:

    Is that her in the photo with Big Tom?

    Woman can’t get enough!

  9. 9
    Sandra says:

    Good job the Police are on Labours side – they could have faced a proper investigation & maybe even prosecution.

  10. 10
    Jack Dromey says:

    I’m disappointed to find a photo of Sally Berkow splashed across the front pages, locked in a passionate embrace with my Travel Agent.

  11. 11
    and another song says:


  12. 12
    JH398403928094 says:

    Oh, Twatson just loved lording it up in there didn’t he.

  13. 13
    owen jones says:

    that’s racist. i demand to see the personal bank accounts of all tory mps. will the bbd join me in asking if all conservatives have racist ideas?

  14. 14
    Mitch says:

    With an audience of…one.

  15. 15
    Len McFuck says:

    I just wanted me bird to have a cushy job, innit!
    It’s farkin’ E-quality that is. Them silly bints should be ‘llowed to ‘ave a nice job and that, innit?
    What’s the farkin’ problem, Miliband? Eh? Want me to come round your ‘Ouse an sort the problem for youse?

  16. 16
    Fish says:

    A damning report indeed, one that show that these bastards will do anything to seize power. And it confirms that in true Marxist / entryist tradition the left have absolutely no regard for democracy (see the way Labour retained power in defeat through their placed men and women quangoistas).

    But the remarkable thing is not so much the findings of abuse and illegality, but the three piss-poor recommendations that the report contains. As with the Lib Dems, no one will be taken to task over this.

  17. 17
    An oldie but a goodie says:

  18. 18
    The Neapolitan Police Farce says:

    Our report into Falkirk discovered that a serving member of the unite trade union whilst on duty in Grangemouth heard a London Tory minister say Pleb.

    The minister has been arrested.

  19. 19
    BLOB CROWE says:


  20. 20
    Harriet Harman says:

    actually, the best way to describe us within Labour is that we are corrupt scum

  21. 21
    Chris Pantomime says:

    Never mind Ducks! Have you met you my “friend” big Denzel?

  22. 22
    The Police says:

    Good job this is only what Labour are like internally and any suggestion that voting fraud extends to national elections will be treated as racist and charges will be brought.

  23. 23
    moderate me would you? says:

    “a batch of approx 40 application forms was received by the party with a letter from Len McCluskey stating that Tom Watson said they were OK”

    I cannot imagine why Tom Watson would be in favour of legislation of the press.

  24. 24
    PJ says:

    Curiously the link to the document on the Grauniad site no longer works.

    Googling also leads to a ‘Not Found’ on the Grauniad site.

    There is no mention of it on the Grauniad home page.

    Are the lefties at the Grauniad saying I’m paranoid?

  25. 25
    melvin says:

    Repeat after me:

    Politics is a filthy, dirty business
    Politics is a filthy, dirty business
    Politics is a filthy, dirty business

    ad nauseam…

  26. 26
    Not the BBC says:

    Michael Gove wants every foetus to be tested for spelling.
    Michael Gove wants a 48 hour school day.
    Michael Gove wants to privatise education.
    Michael Gove wants the NHS cut to pay for blah blah blah
    Michael Gove blah blah blah……..

    Sshh, tread quietly comrades, I think they’re not looking at the Falkirk report now.

  27. 27
    melvin says:

    Presumably the report wasn’t leaked by Edward Snowden, so it doesn’t count.

  28. 28
    Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane says:

    Boy. You sure is ugly.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    black man dem ting says:

    Hear me now dat woman got enough and den some.

  31. 31
    Tom Fatson says:

  32. 32
  33. 33
    altruism in industry says:

    these kissing photos are funny

  34. 34
    altruism in industry says:

    can we have more tongues please ?

  35. 35
    Joss Taskin says:

    Denzel Washingtongues ?

  36. 36
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Aha, he’s been flushed out! Labour are looking even more dodgy than ever and Miliband’s weak leadership is exposed here.

    Time to line up the crosshairs Guido!

  37. 37
    Chuka says:

    You sound like C list trash.

  38. 38
    Dinggggggg! says:

    The machinations of power seekers. I have been a labour man all my life, probably because my family struggled and fought to get decent conditions for agricultural and horticultural workers over the decades…..from my first vote in 1974 I always felt duty bound to put my cross by those affiliated to the agricultural cause…..rightly or wrongly most people within my family and community saw Tories as epitomising landowners and gentry…..I never gave it a second thought because it interested me little and for the guilt I would have felt taking an opposing path, plus i was never that bright. We were genuinely poor with our houses were tied to our work…..so you looked to those with our interests at heart and born from our history to offer some hope of a better future.
    Today I feel disgusted, duped, dishonoured, or at least it seems the older members of my family have been dishonoured, though thankfully most are dead now as they would be ashamed of whatever it is that has hung the name “Labour Party” on itself. I can imagine my grandfather saying what they need is a ‘good days graft’ as i doubt they have any idea of that concept…..they are not born from the working man, they are bastards of the mission statement and jargon, and they make my flesh crawl.
    I would like to say “I’ll never vote for them again”…..but they really wouldn’t give a toss. I think perhaps Labour has run its course, it’s history corrupted, its present soulless, and its future, certainly with me, unwanted.


  39. 39
    Sue Doughty says:

    If Miliband wanted it kept secret it would still be secret, but it isn’t. He would be the one who “leaked” it. Now the question is why and for what, and the timing?

  40. 40
    Luciana Berger says:

    This is outrageous. The people should decide for themselves, not have some London based candidate with no local connections foisted upon them.

  41. 41
    Sue Doughty says:

    Melvin, you believe that and yet still follow and comment on it. Why?

  42. 42
    Sally Bercow says:

    Chatting with a friend, actually.

  43. 43
    moderate me would you? says:

    I haven’t read the report. Can somebody who has please confirm that Tom Watson was condoning flooding the Falkirk party membership with last-minute union recruits to ensure the election of a union plant to a safe-seat?

    Just out of curiosity, just how many of my mates would I need to enlist to hi-jack a safe seat?

  44. 44
    The BBC in 2050 says:

    Ayatollah Chowdry wants every foetus to be tested for being female.
    Ayatollah Chowdry wants a 48 lashes for kaffirs who miss a school day.
    Ayatollah Chowdry wants to madrassatise education.
    Ayatollah Chowdry wants the NHS to cut thieves hands off
    All hail Ayatollah Chowdry

    Sshh, tread quietly comrades, you are always being watched.

  45. 45
    Mitch says:

    He knew it had to come out but obviously couldn’t endorse it himself. Hence this leak from, as you say, the Labour leadership.

  46. 46
    moderate me would you? says:

    Nah. Internal Labour battle between Brownites and Blairites.

  47. 47
    #Sally Bercow says:

    I was so moved by the film ’12 years a slave’ :-( I bought the life size action doll :)

  48. 48

    Brownshirts and Blairshites.

  49. 49
    Neenaaaa says:

    Is this a Police matter?

  50. 50
    Rob Roy says:

    The sooner that Scotland is independent the sooner this will no longer be a problem for the English

  51. 51
    EUHATER says:

    This is just one more reason to hope the independence referendum in Scotland is a YES to independence, at a stroke England will be rid of the most corrupt socialist gang in the country, 40MPs plus their grievance mongering pals in the SNP at westminster ,not forgetting their lib dem seats.

  52. 52
    Tristram Hunt. says:

    I couldn’t agree more’

  53. 53
    a voter says:

    Yes Labour sorted out those agricultural working conditions by removing all knowledge of them from the working class and handing them on a plate to poor foreigners. They also pushed the price of workable farmland way beyond the reach of all but the rich.

    Its generations of Labour voting idiots like you and your family that helped make that happen. Well done.

  54. 54
    Nigel Mirage says:

  55. 55
    Witch says:

    Your car crash with Andrew Neill last week has luckily, or you, slipped under the radar. Time Guido rectified this….

  56. 56
    Prick says:

    Looks a tad quiet in the Tory seats alongside him..

  57. 57
    Alan Rubbisher says:

    Which grand piano shall I play today?

  58. 58
    Cost-of-Labour-crisis says:

    I expect you’ll hear all about this tonight on the BBC.

  59. 59
    a nostalgic voter says:

    I cried all the way through ’12 Years A Slave’. Ah, better times.

  60. 60
    Tristram Hunt. says:

    They really are worried by UKIP aren’t they? Poor old Tim will be clutching a P45 (or EU equivalent – a 45P?) come the summer.

  61. 61
    One Term Dave says:


  62. 62
    Ian Kantz says:

    Newsnight will ignore this story.
    Get your fancy-dress gear out Kirsty.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    What is a ‘retirement seat’?

  64. 64
    White Dee of Benefits St. says:

    Tell that bitch Bercoow to leave the darkies to me.

  65. 65
    moderate me would you? says:

    Chairman of the BBC.

  66. 66
    F**k the LibLabCon says:

    I find all this UKIP bashing quite amusing it’ll be all the funnier come the 22 May.

  67. 67
    I want to know says:

    How many other Labour membership selections have been
    rigged in this way?

    Surely this is a criminal matter.

  68. 68
    Jack Dromey says:

    Get to the back of the queue bitch I was here first!

  69. 69
    The Police says:

    We are only interested in real crimes like mentally ill people misusing Twitter and show trials of old men who felt up young women 50 years ago. Any attempt to report trivial incidents of vote rigging to us will result in an on the spot fine of £1000 for wasting police time. Unless it involves the Tories, have you got anything on the Tories?

  70. 70
    Nice but dim Tim says:

    Nigel is outside the tent pissing in.

  71. 71
    Politicus says:

    “spending the day tweeting about Led Zeppelin”

    Yes, Tom Watston’s career is going the same way as the Hindenberg

  72. 72
    Pete Grunshaw says:

    True, UKIP have the lowest attendance rate in the EU parliament. Like Gordon Brown they claim expenses but don’t show up for work.

  73. 73
    EUHATER says:

    If UKIP MEPs killed and ate their children it would not alter the fact that Kirkhope is a despicable traitor who’s first loyalty is to Barosso , Rumpoy and the EU Kommissars !

  74. 74
    Pathetic says:

    Grant Schapps…….appalling little man.

  75. 75
    The Critic says:

    Ah, One Nation Statecraft in full flow. Ed backstabbed by the Blairites. Who better to spot a self-serving, sanctimonious pile of shite?

    Note to Ed – you ferkers may have moved on – the rest of us have not. Explain yourself. PS -enjoy PMQs. I am sure this won’t be mentioned……

  76. 76
    Celebration day says:

  77. 77
    moderate me would you? says:

    Probably not. If the unions manage to stage a surprise raid and enlist enough new members who then vote on their ‘preferred’ candidate that’s probably entirely legit.

    What I want to know is just how many (or, more likely, just how few) extra voters does it take to swing a constituency party in your favour? Would a couple of dozen mates be enough? Just how active are constituency members? If I were to circulate a ‘Vote For Me’ letter endorsed by (say) 10 or 20 other active members would that be enough to get the rest of them to vote for me? Or pack the hustings with 10 or 20 vocal supporters to cheer my every utterance to the rafters. Would that do the job?

    Just curious. It would certainly explain the political careers of many utter fucking fuckwits. I’m thinking John Prescott for one.

  78. 78
    Mr Potato Head2 says:

    Disgraceful. They should listen to UKIP and get rid of the whole corrupt, sordid organisation that is the EU and spend money on the plebs of Britain instead. Pity the Liblabcons are so in favour of keeping it, for obvious reasons.

  79. 79
    F**k the LibLabCon says:

    Well if that’s true after the 22nd of May over half the place will be empty on a regular basis, but would that be a bad thing?

  80. 80
    Get over it, trougher says:

    What a otter old bitch that Anne McIntosh is.

  81. 81
    Get over it, trougher says:


  82. 82
    MSM says:

    You’re a bit previous, we won’t be reporting the UKIP MEPs killing and eating their own children till the 21st of May.

  83. 83
    Chocolate Starfish says:

    Tim has that gayer look about him.

  84. 84
    Dame Sally Morgan says:

    I’m the queen of bitter.

  85. 85
    Bill Oddie says:

    Prefer otter much more evocative and likely to smell of fish

  86. 86
    John Bercow says:

    I’m little and a laughing stock.

  87. 87
    moderate me would you? says:

    I’ve read some of the Graun commenets and answered my own question.

    ‘It’s quite interesting that in an urban, industrial central-belt constituency in what was once a Labour heartland, before this recruiting dri*ve there were only about 150 members.’

    A rock-solid Labour seat with only 150 members. I could probably get half that that many to join up from my kid’s school and hi-jack the nomination. Jings, an 18 year-old at college could get a few classmates around him and hi-jack the nomination.

    No wonder we’re all scratching our heads wondering who these fuckers are and where the fuck do they come from. They’re pushy pricks who have only to garner 50 or so votes in a contested safe-seat and then be MPs for life.

  88. 88
    moderate me would you? says:

    He has the look of somebody who’ll very shortly be looking for a new job.

  89. 89
    sadly says:

    The BBC will continue to regularly employ Jones,
    paid for by us, despite his many obvious failings.

  90. 90
    Jack Dromey says:

    Can I have his moblie number, Sally?

  91. 91
    CommonPurposePlod says:

    The only crime we record now is voting for UKIP.

  92. 92
    Back Alley Sally says:

    Just name the time and the place.
    I’ll bring booze,an unflattering wig
    and look like a cheap hooker.

  93. 93
    A BBC spokesb'stard says:

    Rule 1 of internet news:

    Never talk about splashing across the front of, and Ms Bercow, in the same millenium.

  94. 94
    Publish and CONFUSE NO says:

    A report 24 pages long. 90% of Labour members and “have always voted” could not understand this report beyond the second page. We publish what our members can read, keep unpublished what is confusing.

  95. 95
    Not the BBC says:

    Would that be 2050 tonight or tomorrow comrade?

  96. 96
    Cider with Rosie says:

    Labour attitudes to farming and the countryside haven’t changed.
    They failed to deal with environmental matters or invest in country
    side management.
    The Environment Agency is a joke and it’s head,former Labour MP
    Chris Smith,totally ineffectual.

  97. 97
    Len Watson says:

    We are the Labour Party.
    We are not the Legal Profession members outside London.

  98. 98
    If it ain't UKIP it ain't worth a ... says:

    The only speeches you see recommended on YouTube are UKIP ones at the EU.

    As for lowest attendance rate, no doubt you can provide a URL to a reference backing up your assertion.

  99. 99
    PJ says:

    That’s the link – it’s working now.

    I will be charitable and assume that they are just incompetent rather than corrupt.

  100. 100
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    Owen Jones really is a complete k*ob.
    He’s a bit like Stephen Fry and a good many other left leaning gay promoting common purpose idiots, self deluded and wrapped up in their own egotistical self importance.

  101. 101
    Not the BBC says:

    Already loaded sitting on our storage system and ready to go – the digital media initiative was a great idea!

  102. 102
    Not the BBC says:

    The usual wardrobe then.

  103. 103
    recruitment officer says:

    If UNITE did not introduce their members to the Labour Party the Labour Party would be reduced members who use bar for plenty of drink.

  104. 104
    Socialism = Starvation says:

    Not a headline on Radio 4 at 1pm. Move along now.

  105. 105
    Bercow who decides on bar and resturant prices in Westminister says:

    If I did not keep the cost of the bar and restaurant down Parliamentary members would desert this place for Tesco’s loss leader drinks.

    My management goals include keep attendance high or members will return home to their constituency and never come to London.

  106. 106
    Bluto says:

    The proximity of that comment to the truth is the saddest thing about it.

    How anyone could expect a one on one allegation made nearly 50 years after the supposed incident and which has never been complained about before to be credible evidence is incredible. In most decent countries the statute of limitations would have stopped it in its tracks.

    Starmer has a lot to answer for in making the CPS and police part of his left-wing, feminist ideological witch hunt.

  107. 107
    Proftastic says:

    Not a headline on bbc or sky news either at 2pm. Why is this attack on democracy being buried? Perhaps I am out of touch and drifting Mexican fishermen in the Pacific really are more important? Not even a mention of the multiple discrepancies between signatures on the documents!

  108. 108
    Kindly be seated says:

    …or his commode.

  109. 109
    Kindly be seated says:

    i thought you mis-typed utter. Ah well, no prob.

  110. 110
    Ctesibius says:

    They are both

  111. 111
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    Labour and the unions ,rotten to the core. Lying and cheating is in their DNA.

  112. 112
    broderick crawford says:

    Why is a frog being kissed ?
    Who is doing what to whom? Duscuss.

  113. 113
    broderick crawford says:

    Surely another real own goal there was Ali Campbell s nebulous knowledge of whether Ministers are obliged to declare all their earnings even outside Parliament .
    This from a man who wet nursed Blair and dragooned the rest of the Labour Cabinet by dint of dictatorial on-message texts for best part of 12 years !!!!

    At least Jones has the excuse he is stil revising for his 11 plus . Campbell is proffering himself as a mature political operator (?)

  114. 114
    Led Zeppelin says:

    Fuck off ya fat corrupt tvrd!

  115. 115
    ReefKnot says:

    Don’t worry. I’m sure the BBC will be running headline news about this for the next four days. You know, like they did for that piece on Ed Milliband’s dad. After all, and as we all know, they are an unbiased news broadcaster.

  116. 116
    Sally Bercow says says:

    Did somebody mention a BBC ?

  117. 117
    ReefKnot says:

    Curiously, I can find no mention of this issue on the Guardian’s web page, nor on the Independent’s either. And the BBC have only a slight mention under a headline that says ‘ Labour bosses back Ed Miliband’s union changes ‘.
    No surprise there then.

  118. 118
    Clouseau says:

    Surely it is a criminal matter if someone id forging signatures on forms and on direct debit mandates?

  119. 119
    smoke and mirrors says:

    Nigel and all are running around the UK putting the British people first and cementing votes in the upcoming elections.
    You are sitting behind enemy lines like Billy No-Mates, taking a ‘selfie’.
    Timmy Nohope you are a prize mug.

  120. 120
    Great Granddad says:

    Nobody was “recruited without their knowledge”. Such “recruitment” is impossible. What was indisputably committed, was “fraud” – fraud pure and simple.

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