February 1st, 2014

Yeo in De-Nile About Prospects

Guido is told the Yeo deselection vote is neck and neck, there is even a suggestion that Monday’s result could be decided by a single figure margin. So where has the absentee MP decided would be the best place to spend the weekend? Resisting the lure of the golf course, Yeo has flown to Cairo, perhaps to take refuge in a sand bunker:

Who does he sphinx he is?


218 Comments

  1. 1
    Viking Warrior says:

    First comment?

  2. 2
    The climate says:

    Let’s hope the Hunt will fuck off and leave me alone

  3. 3
    RomaBob.... Buy Beeg Issue! says:

    Any windmills in Cairo ??

  4. 4
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Has he gone to Constant-Tim-opless ?

  5. 5
    Mustapha Djinn says:

    Can we have him mummified please ?

  6. 6
  7. 7

    Put his corpse in the cartouche.

  8. 8

    Don’t remember seeing any. The Temple of the Winds is in Athens.

  9. 9
    altruism in industry says:

    bringggg, bringgggg
    ” No I can’t talk to the Pharaoh, I’m busy ”
    click

  10. 10
    Tim Yeo says:

    Waah! I want my mummy!

  11. 11
    A passing camel says:

    Sphinxy bum time for Yeo

  12. 12

    Is that a Pharaonic metaphor?

  13. 13
    nell says:

    Loadsa taxis – wasn’t he involved with a taxi company ?

  14. 14
    C.O.Jones says:

    He was in a taxi, driver he toot at car man.

  15. 15
    Podiceps says:

    Where’s the Muslim Brotherhood when you need it?

  16. 16
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    Man has benefits axed after having a heart attack during his sickness assessment. How sick is this country becoming?

  17. 17
    Expat Geordie says:

    Distinct lack of freedom of speech in Cairo at the moment. Perhaps he has gone there because it makes him feel at home?

  18. 18
    Andronicus says:

    Tower of the winds, ignoramus

  19. 19
    Cabbage says:

    Does a coronary during a sickness assessment mean you automatically qualify for benefits then?

  20. 20
    Dave says:

    massive fan #England rugby #Bumboy Army

  21. 21
    Demographics says:

    No worries. They don’t call South Suffolk a 31 year safe Tim Yeo seat for nothing.

  22. 22
    Man from the street says:

    Pretty sick TBH, ask Lee Rigby’s orphan.

  23. 23
    nell says:

    anthropogenic global warming like yeo himself appears to have been exposed as a bit a fraud or a con – whatever.

    Perhaps he is in egypt looking for new opportunities for turning a fast buck, as they say.

  24. 24
    Maggie Thatcher, Gayboy Fawkes's hero says:

    Stupid c’unt should have just registered his assets in the British Virgin Islands to avoid all UK taxes. I wouldn’t pay a penny to those English plebs.

  25. 25
    Hollande says:

    Dave, your (rent)boys took one helluva beating

  26. 26
    Joe Public & all Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    Has Windmills of the Mind Yeo Ho decamped to Cairo because he
    knows his reselection is in the bag ??

    Then again he could get Pharaohs Revenge in Cairo !!! which is enough
    to knock the shit out of anybody & resulting in being stuck to loo for
    at least 72 hours…..

    That could not happen to a nicer bloke ……………

  27. 27
    Ah! but says:

    Did you
    (a ) get the central chamber of the Great Pyramid?

    (b) Get into Tutenkahemen’s tomb in the Valley of the Kings?

    ( C ) Bring back a ‘souvenir ‘ from Saquara?

    Thought not ;)

  28. 28
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Sharm-El-Shakedown

  29. 29
    We're not at all biased at the Mirror says:

    An anonymous man in Labour constituency is reported to have had a heart attack in bennies office by Labour supporting newspaper.

  30. 30
    Fbi says:

    Tim do not come back to the UK as there is tube strike on for the next two weeks and by the time yoi get back you will be an ex-MP at the next election in May

  31. 31
    David Cameron says:

    You leave Tim alone! He’s a millionaire so he can’t be all bad. I mean, he could be one of those ghastly middle classes…

  32. 32
    Ah! says:

    Errr?? Difficult!

  33. 33
    Shite Dee says:

    Fucking knob

  34. 34
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

    It’s a shame that we overspent on such a massive scale that there’s no money left, otherwise these measures wouldn’t have been necessary.

  35. 35
    Ah! says:

    Luxor ious

  36. 36
    Tourist says:

    Palace of the Winds – Jaipur

  37. 37
    Yim Teo says:

    Cnut or be cnuted

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    10000 plus died at Stafford drinking water out of flower vases and dying in their own excrement.

    How sick did this country become under the Labour Party rule?

  39. 39
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    I dare say that when he gets back the tax payer may be offered some outstanding deals on a Pyramid or two…

  40. 40
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    Hear, hear !

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Yeo is in Cairo, the Conservatives are in a bunker.

  42. 42
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    She’s not heart attack material.


  43. 43
    Ah! says:

    Never Ending or beginning like an ever “spinning ” wheeler.

  44. 44
    Ah! says:

    An Elephantine task.

  45. 45
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

    Tax planning is abominable.

  46. 46
    DC says:

    I’m bigger than you

  47. 47
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

  48. 48
    Expat Geordie says:

    Ah, Nick Clegg, Our Beloved Deputy Leader.

    What a Man.

    Muscles of Steel.

    Torso of Bronze.

    Knob of Butter.

  49. 49
    FH says:

    You may be bigger but i’ve got more uses. Whats that saying use of loose it,

    shrinky boy

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Crocodile tears

  51. 51
    Ah! question says:

    On a Saturday?

  52. 52
    Bilda Berger says:

    It’s a curry-house in Burnley, shurely.

  53. 53
    Bilda Berger says:

    IMHOtep.

  54. 54
    returns bearing gifts says:

    He definitly won’t be bring home the bacon.

    Maybe dead flies on his meat.

  55. 55
    blushing says:

    Rubbing sand in it won’t help

  56. 56
    Andy Bumhum says:

  57. 57
    Historical Factoid says:

    fuck off

  58. 58

    (a) Of course I did! Silly boy!

    (b) Of course I did! Silly boy! But the contents I had to see in different places – sometimes the same contents in different places at different times.

    (C) Why the high Cs? No, but just the other side of the door is an Egyptian table in ebony, ivory and mother of pearl which I brought back as cabin luggage. Couldn’t do that now.

    Did you go to Abu Simbel?

  59. 59
    Do as I say NOT AS I DO says:

    Why do these self promoted eco leaders still travel by aeroplane?
    A return flight is like doubling your carbon footprint.

  60. 60

    King Hat-shirt-suit.

  61. 61

    cartouche

    It’s not as good when you have to explain them…

  62. 62
    OK says:

    If you haven’t met Jesuand Mo yet, it’s about time you did.
    Salman Rushdie

    http://www.jesusandmo.net/

  63. 63
    Make a claim says:

    Has he a bounty on his head? Wanted %^&* or alive.

  64. 64
    Bonkers Smith says:

    NO NO NO
    You have to have a Doctors Letter stating all medical problems received before assessment.
    You can have another assessment six months latter with this new medical problem included.

  65. 65

    Thankfully, I don’t get those problems…

  66. 66
  67. 67
    Prospecting says:

    Weighing up his prospects in Cairo

  68. 68
    He travelled light says:

    Abu grabby

  69. 69
    Runny says:

    Tim Yeo has got the squitts

  70. 70
    let it shine let it shine let it shine says:

    The sun as got to you.

  71. 71
    Ah! did says:

    Yup
    The interior is almost as amazing.

    Took my daughter on a study tour. Part of her UV Studies.

    Spent a month with private driver ( s) ( had to sack one because he kept his eyes on my daughters knees, rather than the road)
    Verey memorable.

  72. 72
    Hmm says:

    Comments being m0dded.

  73. 73
    Hmm says:

    yes. months tour with daughter.

  74. 74
    climate says:

    No not The Sun, The Mirror has been making bad weather.

  75. 75
    Legover says:

    He has done that a few times with other liaisons.

  76. 76
    Hmm says:

    Love ivory. Have bought some lovely pieces over past few years.

    might be the a ! h that’s being picked up

  77. 77
    flown the nest says:

    Ask for him to stay longer. He will pack his bags and depart, before you know it!

  78. 78

    Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt- quoting Mark Twain

  79. 79
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Asswipe Dam

  80. 80
    Solid says:

    My, look at what the cat’s brought up

  81. 81
    Proper nob says:

    No-one’s more middle-class than you, Dave.

  82. 82
    bartfartbastard says:

    It’s OK folks, he walked there.

    Well, that’s what he told ME.

  83. 83

    My gift to you. Copy the next line and store in a word doc or similar:
    Аһ!

    Should solve that one.

  84. 84
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Has chukka got any five year plans oops pogroms?

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Yeo is chasing Clio.

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Brass neck.

  87. 87
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Is yeo a lawyer – oh f ing hell I’m going to have to check that out.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Are the Brotherhood looking for a new leader?

  89. 89
    Ah! let's see says:

    Months tour with drivers. Went to every studyable place. Enjoyed

  90. 90
    On the run says:

    Got the runs

  91. 91
    Hei-gue says:

    Gone there against Foreign Office Advice

  92. 92
    Ed Moribund says:

    I’ve very nearly got around to the one man one vote principles that have been available in the UK for a hundred years or more.

    That’s progress.

  93. 93
    Ah! Have done says:

    ?h! interesting

  94. 94
    Nigel Garage says:

    If Yeo succeeds it will be a nice sort of seat for a chap who thinks green energy is a waste of money to stand.
    Any ideas who might stand against him ion 2015? Someone who’s been attracting disaffected blue votes recently?

    just a thought.

  95. 95
    Dan Hodges says:

    .

  96. 96
    South Suffolk removals says:

    Pull the flush. Will soon clean up this mess and make it safe. Any bad wind will turn out to be nothing.

  97. 97
    Travelling Salesmen says:

    Yeo has a new business adventure. Selling sand!

  98. 98
    Has arms and readdies says:

    Tim the crude sader.

    Next stop Jerusalem.

  99. 99
    Cameron Short says:

    326 votes is all you need, every time, in Westminister.

  100. 100
    Colour it green says:

    We are greening the planet. The sky is still blue.

  101. 101
    Yeo disappeared says:

    Has Yeo gone native and changed his appearance.

    Grown a beard, puts on sandals and using his sheets as a garment?

  102. 102
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    Is he very dodgy too ?? Perfect traits for a LibDem !

  103. 103
    R. Youshore says:

    LIKE BEING SAVAGED BY A DEAD SHEEP ?

  104. 104
    Liberals have got Yeo says:

    You talk we do
    elook like we do
    out yourself and join the Liberals

  105. 105
    REALITY CHECK says:

  106. 106
    Moustaffa Scam says:

    Cairo has the hottest deckchair in recorded history and he’s gone to prove it.

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    Foundations built on sand

  108. 108
    Yeo rkshire man says:

    Where there’s muck (up to his neck) there’s brass

  109. 109
    Moustaffa Scam says:

    Egyptian Glacier are melting fast. Maybe none left to be seen.

    Western Aid needed urgently.

  110. 110
    Moustaffa Scam says:

    The sea on our western coast has dried up. We have miles and miles of sand and bone dry beaches. Come and see for yourself.

  111. 111
    Jimmy says:

    Bearing in mind next year’s tournament, remember that England has never won a World Cup, in either rugby or soccer, under a Conservative government.

  112. 112
    Blowing Whistles says:

    five year plans by Ed the marxist comments to b muderated huh!

  113. 113
    Blowing Whistles says:

    i put a few comments up earlier on – at first they were ‘published’ and then by some magic they were ‘mudded’ yeah after they were published – well well well … indeed i must be really pissing the ptb right off..

  114. 114
    RomaBob.... Buy Beeg Issue! says:

    Best form of defence is attack?

  115. 115
    JadedJean says:

    Same for me!

  116. 116
    Blowing Whistles says:

    havesome see 339 and moddud here – wots that all about … me pushing to truth too much eh.

    330
    Cob Browe says:
    February 1, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    A union leader goes to Rio and checks out the brothels. In the first one he asks if the girls belong to a union. ‘No,’ replies the madame. ‘And what cut do the girls get?’ asks the leader. ‘They take 20 per cent,’ replies the madame.
    Offended by this unfairness the union leader goes to a second brothel and asks the same questions. Here he finds that the girls do belong to a union and get to keep 80 per cent of their takings. ‘That’s better,’ says the union leader. ‘I’d like to have the redhead in the corner.’ ‘

    Sure you would,’ says the madame, beckoning to an old fat blonde. ‘But Ethel here has seniority.’
    Reply

    335
    Mars Attacks! says:
    February 1, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Genius!

    Thanks for making an old curmudgeon laugh!
    Reply

    339
    Blowing Whistles says:
    February 1, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    No one else seems to have mentioned it and I have waited all day – so here we go

    Well that’s another Commie Marxist FIVE YEAR PLAN in the mix

    and then there’s another plan by Lloyds – a six year plan …

    JFHC spare me.
    Reply

  117. 117
    Anne McIntosh says:

    I feel his pain.

  118. 118
    Blowing Whistles says:

    It’s all timelocked you twats – stop yeur fucking games.

  119. 119
    Putting more women into labour than Ed Miliband says:

    Did Yeo ever take responsibility for the child he fathered? He went to back to basics.

  120. 120

    Consider these two true statements:

    1. England has never won a World Cup, in either rugby or soccer, under a Conservative government – Jimmy

    2. No Labour government has ever left office with unemployment lower than when it started – nor has one left a balanced budget.

    Which one of these matters more to those who have to pay the taxes to keep the country going?

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    It’s the lure of young arab boy’s bottoms perhaps? Something to sink his Wedge into.

  122. 122
    Tim Yeo says:

    Look at what global warming has done to this place – all the water is gone. Before we invented the motor car, electricty and rice crispies, this was all fertile farmland and forests where Bambi and all the Walt Disney characters frolicked in the dappled shade.

    this is ideal territory for windmills – no wind to blow and wear them out; easy money.

    £1m fee and a 20% cut of the profits please.

  123. 123
    Blowing Whistles says:

    This coming week the EU are going to attempt to bludge through more bumbandit laws all of them pushed and promoted by Israel.

  124. 124
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Blowing Whistles says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    February 1, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    of the earlier Ed’s new plan with his union Marxist buddies all controlled by the rothies of course…..

    339
    Blowing Whistles says:
    February 1, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    No one else seems to have mentioned it and I have waited all day – so here we go

    Well that’s another Commie Marxist FIVE YEAR PLAN in the mix

    and then there’s another plan by Lloyds – a six year plan …

    JFHC spare me.
    Reply
    Reply

  125. 125
    Ah! Have done says:

    OK 1 nill to you.

  126. 126
    Ah! Have done says:

    You’re making my wife’s temple throb.

  127. 127
    \crow pie says:

    There is a fat b*stard called Crowe
    Who fries on the beach in Rio.
    He Despises true workers
    But he is the shirker
    Brothers …give him the heave-ho.

  128. 128
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    LABOUR HAVE THE WRONG MITTEYBAND AND THE WRONG BALLS.

  129. 129
    Ah! Have done says:

    Must be the cataracts.

  130. 130
    Ah! I've says:

    Taken my sleepi

  131. 131
    Jimmy says:

    I think you’ll find on Tony’s watch it dropped quite substantially, although I know that’s not what it says on the talking points card you all seem to get.

  132. 132
    Yeo is like Jimmy says:

  133. 133
    EUHATER says:

    UKIP hoovering up the votes!

  134. 134
    David Cameron says:

    Middle Class? Me?!! I don’t pay the tax of those scumbags.

  135. 135

    Good try – but not good enough.

    No Labour government has ever left office… without the double shambles referred to.

    Unlike Labour, we have never had talking cards with Clause 4 printed on it. Sure you remember those days.

    It stated that the fundamental aim of the Labour Party was to secure for the workers by hand or by brain the full fruits of their industry… The two big problems here were blindingly obvious:

    1. There were no detectable brains and

    2. The only industry was rhetoric.

    Some nostalgia though, courtesy Paul Foot:

    http://bit.ly/1gC1wU3

  136. 136

    Good try – but not good enough.

    No Labour government has ever left office… without the double shambles referred to.

    Unlike Labour, we have never had talking cards with Clause 4 printed on it. Sure you remember those days.

    It stated that the fundamental aim of the Labour Party was to secure for the workers by hand or by brain the full fruits of their industry… The two big problems here were blindingly obvious:

    1. There were no detectable brains and

    2. The only industry was rhetoric.

    Some nostalgia though, courtesy Pаul Foot:

    http://bit.ly/1gC1wU3

  137. 137
    Jimmy says:

    Tony took those off us.

  138. 138
    Jimmy says:

    New Labour: Tough on Four, tough on the Clauses of Four.

  139. 139
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

  140. 140
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    Would rather win nowt.

  141. 141
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    Let us hope any postal votes received from the Middle East by the deselection committee are viewed with caution.

  142. 142
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    Thankfully Gove is merely being savaged by the LibDems and has not been invited to masturbate any of them.

  143. 143
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    It’s a pisser innit Whistles? All my brilliant posts get stopped; only the mediocre and rubbish ones get through, like yours.

  144. 144
    non taxable pikey says:

    Guido, you really have to be asking why this wasn’t made public before the Immigration debate. “Evidence of Fraud and Abuse of Free Movement in the UK”, was so obviously held back by someone. Theresa has to answer for this.

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    He’s in da nile.

  146. 146
    Barrie says:

    I think you’ve said quite enough

  147. 147
    In the hole! says:

    Sand wedge or should he just tee off?

  148. 148
    Pyramid scheme says:

    Fez please.

  149. 149
    EUHATER says:

    Compare him with his stupid looking mong of a brother !

  150. 150
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Jimmy – are you seriously trying to make the claim that UK success at sports is in some way tied to the flavor of government at the time ?

    With the preparation time for athletes and teams being mentioned in years, if you are making such claim then you are also ignoring the fact that all of the ground work to get to success was carried out under the Conservative government, and then after some brief success with a Labour one is back to loser status until the next Conservative government shows up.

    The argument you are making does sound like the pre-genocide rhetoric of a failed approach to life, which is Labour / Socialism.

  151. 151
    albacore says:

    Well, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
    Hope a Nile crocodile selects the bum
    (Though even a rat wouldn’t be so dumb
    As to risk digesting LibLabCon scum)

  152. 152
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    The EU pushing through these laws are not doing themselves any favors.

    Sidestepping the homophobic accusations, right now this can be stated on the basis that the Eurozone economy is showing no signs of improvement, and 98% of the European population do not benefit and are likely not in full support of such a waste of time.

    Pro-Gay laws in the Eurozone are the analog of Stal!n’s tractor policies.

    In some ways it is worst as it is projecting the wrong image about Europe.

    Same-sex sodomy is not regarded as a positive in the majority of the world, and its advocacy by unlected commissioners is not going to distract from their p’edophile habits.

  153. 153
    EUHATER says:

    That grubby note if blown up to poster size is all that should be needed to keep Labour out of office permanently , but sadly it won’t .

  154. 154
    Dead sheep says:

    I will be tough on Gove

  155. 155
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Some points to consider about recent 5 year plans:

    i) Setting targets / goals and in particular setting job related performance targets has been very regressive.

    a) To meet time related targets : Corners are unnecessarily cut, or work is drawn out. Whilst targets are useful for projects (as open ended will mean never delivered), setting unrealistic targets has been a hall mark of many of the failed grand schemes of late.

    b) Performance targets: Encourage fraud as people will wish to protect their jobs. When the targets are such that collusion between different levels becomes beneficial, the fraudulent activity becomes engrained.

    c) Five year political targets are always doomed to failure. The only long term agenda’s which seem to work sometimes are those which are set in the civil service and which span governments. The EU is a notable example of a failed case.

    There is a fundamental problem in the UK economy at present.

    Would suggest the symptoms are thus:

    i) Job Insecurity
    ii) High cost of employment to employers.
    – These two items together create conditions for poor performance and failure. Employers find it difficult to be flexible and have to deal with high staff turnover rates – not good for continuity – and insecure employees will not behave productively.

    iii) No reward for job completed well and on time, long term reward for non-completion in some cases, zero sum gain for both parties.

    – There have been many cases where staff have been cut (in some cases at or just after Christmas) despite having delivered on time and under or within budget. There is absolutely no incentive whatsoever either long term or short term for doing good on time work. Doing good work = losing job : Not a good equation.

    – In many cases, when projects have got to a certain point it is not in the interests of the main stake holders to cancel. Hence job security can be bought by ensuring delivery is not met for ‘legitimate’ reasons. This is the wrong kind of job security to make available.

    – For many projects, because there has not been adequate thought put in or the work is simply Socialist style ‘wake work’ projects, then there is no incentive on either side for a completion, or when complete, what is delivered has zero value as it is already horribly out of date.

    Some remedies:

    a) Fix the primary day to day cost of living : housing. The high costs put a firm mark under most wage demands pushing both employers and employees into dubious territory in order to meet this artificially high cost.

    b) Reduce the cost of employment: Can be done through serious tax reform, and dumping of a lot of EU related red tape. Employers should be able to hire easily, fire less easily.

    Employees should be able to move more freely, and employers hire.

    Providing an incentive to employers to retain and train could be done through the tax system.

    c) Ensure that rewards for failure are ended. Capitalism does not work if unproductive capital is kept going. Unproductive capital is a waste of limited resources.

    d) Drop the target / performance notions – particularly within the public services. These are a corrupting influence.

    Reducing the size of government is the only way to keep public sector costs under control. Private enterprise generally does need to keep a closer eye on such things, but only in order to maintain or gain competitive position in the market place.

    Due to the damage that has been done the younger generation through the poorly named state ‘education’ system such a wholesale reform may take a while.

    The Political five year plans of the LibLabCon are broadly irrelevant now as they are not guaranteed to be in power within the next 18 months.

    None of Labour’s five year plans which it ran when in office did anything other than damage the UK. They certainly did not deliver anything at all positive.

    The same will be said of the coalition when the fraud that is behind their good economy rhetoric is exposed.

  156. 156
    Mad as a hatstand says:

    I think yeo should Fez up and take his deselection as a man

  157. 157
    Optional extra says:

    Tooting Common is on the way to/from Streatham (depending on which way your going!). Chucky ducky with the enormous black clock can provide more local details.

  158. 158
    Optional extra says:

    Is she that Irish bint Clee O’patra?

  159. 159
    Crooked plod go with crooked legal system says:

    What the hell !!!!!!!!!!
    This is outrageous when the cops got full rein to say anything they like.

    “But it can be revealed today that Mr Mitchell’s own account of the incident will not be put before the judge. In an extraordinary intervention, prosecutors have told the former Chief Whip that they will not submit his ‘impact statements’ because they do not agree he was the victim of a police conspiracy.”

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2550267/New-twist-Plebgate-row-MP-silenced-Andrew-Mitchell-blocked-telling-court-scandal-damaged-life.html#ixzz2s9XkHqx9
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  160. 160
    Optional extra says:

    Why does he need a pile of French rubbish?

  161. 161
    Optional extra says:

    Cart Ouch?

  162. 162
    Optional extra says:

    … which is more than either English cricket team seems to have done lately!

  163. 163
    Singalong Time says:

    The sexual life of a camel
    Is harder than anyone thinks.
    One night in a fit of passion
    He tried to roger the Sphinx.
    But the Sphinx’s vaginal orifice
    was filled with the sands of the Nile.
    Which accounts for the hump on the camel
    And the Sphinx’s inscrutable smile.

  164. 164
    Squiggles and dots says:

    The word you are looking for is khazi – original Arabic…

  165. 165
    School teachers says:

    Bullies are victims too! Michael Gove is wrong! Giving detention is against human rights! Bullies should instead be given merit awards. Everyone is equal. Competition and punishment are bad. Calling someone a winner is against the human rights of non-winners. Prizes for all!

  166. 166
    Squiggles and dots says:

    The Civil Service do not call them ‘targets'; they are known as ‘Objectives’

  167. 167
    Squiggles and dots says:

    Laws should STFU and get back to Pentonville where he belongs – and he can take is pervy landlord with him.

  168. 168
    White rabbit says:

    The super pious Sarah Teather got on one’s tits so much this morning that I had to strangle myself..in fact I’m dead.
    She’s apparently so vexed about her party’s stance on immigration that she’s waiting until the next election to stand down. In the manner of most current MPs she completely ignores her own constituents views on this subject preferring to load up her bank account for when she has to get a real fucking job. By real I mean a big ‘charidee’ or the probably the replacement for the Soviet Union, the goddam EU.

  169. 169
    retardEd Miliband says:

    We mutht end the thtigma of failure! All childwen mutht be given univerthity degwees on their firtht birthday.

  170. 170
    EUHATER says:

    It is a filthy unhygienic practice being propagandised as normal behaviour .

  171. 171
    Harridan's already waffling and dodging questions says:

    If your blood pressure can handle it, Harpic is on the Marr show. Jack’s probably home watching porn star Wesley Pipes.

  172. 172
    White rabbit says:

    Too much, too early, too soon

  173. 173
    Liebore reform says:

    Just had a great idea. If enough of us join Labour as union affiliate members, we can fuck up the future leadership election and they’ll end up with Diane Abbott or Ed Balls as leader. Granted, it costs a few quid to join, but it’s a small price to fuck Labour up for decades to come.

  174. 174
    Harridan's already waffling and dodging questions says:

    Priceless! Harpic answered the point about union domination by saying the criticism is “phobic”. :-D Unionphobia! That’s a classic.

  175. 175
    As you struggle to work in london next week be thandul its not even raining in Rio De Janerio says:

    Its already been done. the Union vote put Milliband jnr in mind you the thought of fatbot being leader is somewhat delicious.

  176. 176
    As you struggle to work in london next week be thandul its not even raining in Rio De Janerio says:

    Crowphobia?
    Mcluskeyphobia

    Typical stupid labour bitch. Can’t provide a defence to their stupidity so they fall back on it being a phobia. Just like they use the word tax all the time when it isn’t.

  177. 177
    She has principles. 160,000 of them says:

    Sarah is so angry at the disconnect she feels between herself and her party that she feels there’s no alternative but to collect her £80,000 salary for another year and three months, after which she’ll stand down with dignity and pride and then collect the one year’s salary given to all retiring MPs.

  178. 178
    Labour searching the world for immigrants to rub the whites noses in diversity says:

    Zzzzzzzzz

  179. 179
    Diane Abbottomasbigasthemoon says:

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYCCCCCIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSST!!!

  180. 180
    Sally Morgan says:

    It’s not fair! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

  181. 181
    Ah! no says:

    SUN
    Household name is under investigation
    Savile cops probe household name
    I.D. will shock the world

    Ian Duncan……surely not!

  182. 182
    Ah! that reminds me says:

    It’s the year of the hippo.

  183. 183
    Sally Morgan get stuffed says:

    What possessed Gove to appoint a New Labour tool in the first place?

  184. 184
    White rabbit says:

    Last time I saw a jaw line like that it was munching carrots behind a farm gate.

  185. 185
    Bill & Ben The Flowerpot Men says:

    OK, we confess. It’s us. We had a threesome with a Teletubby.

  186. 186
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    Jimmy we won more gold Olympic medals under a Tory Government!

  187. 187
    Probably says:

    Domestos

  188. 188

    @Jimmy

    The Labour Party is a moral crusade – or it is nothing – Harold Wilson, Rothesay, May 1964 at the Scottish Labour Party conference.

    So we have:

    * Imprisoned Labour MPs for fiddling expenses, assault etc. (more so than the other parties by a huge margin.)
    * A war we should not have fought.
    * Dodgy dossiers used as justification for war.
    * The death of habeas corpus.
    * The murder of Dr Kelly.
    * BBC stuffed with Labour luvvies who fail to stop Savile.
    * Anti terrorism laws used against people putting their rubbish out on the wrong day.
    * Innocent citizens killed by police.

    Thousands of other similar grossly immoral actions caused by a Labour government.

    Back to “the Labour Party is a moral crusade – or it is nothing.”

    From the above:
    Labour is clearly not a moral crusade ergo, IT IS NOTHING.

  189. 189
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    The civil service has it’s own very special definition of what constitutes ‘work’.

    They are in existence only to fill those gaps in the economy which are not economically viable for, or in the interests of, the private sector to take on.

    From a cost / profit center perspective the civil service is wholly cost.

    This is the main reason why is needs to be reduced to a more sensible size.

    That could partly explain the semantic differences.

  190. 190
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Lib Dem’s targetting East European votes.

    Are the East European’s going to play to stereotype and prove that they are aligned with a party of sexual deviants ?

    Would be surprised if the Unions allow them to vote anything but Labour.

    They should vote UKIP.

  191. 191

    @Jіmmy

    Thе Lаbоur Pаrty іѕ а mоrаl сruѕаdе – оr іt іѕ nоthіng – Hаrоld Wіlѕоn, Rоthеѕаy, Mаy 1964 аt thе Ѕсоttіѕh Lаbоur Pаrty соnfеrеnсе.

    Ѕо wе hаvе:

    * Іmprіѕоnеd Lаbоur MPѕ fоr fіddlіng еxpеnѕеѕ, аѕѕаult еtс. (mоrе ѕо thаn thе оthеr pаrtіеѕ by а hugе mаrgіn.)
    * А wаr wе ѕhоuld nоt hаvе fоught.
    * Dоdgy dоѕѕіеrѕ uѕеd аѕ juѕtіfісаtіоn fоr wаr.
    * Thе dеаth оf hаbеаѕ соrpuѕ.
    * Thе murdеr оf Dr Kеlly.
    * BBС ѕtuffеd wіth Lаbоur luvvіеѕ whо fаіl tо ѕtоp Ѕаvіlе.
    * Аntі tеrrоrіѕm lаwѕ uѕеd аgаіnѕt pеоplе puttіng thеіr rubbіѕh оut оn thе wrоng dаy.
    * Іnnосеnt сіtіzеnѕ kіllеd by pоlісе.

    Thоuѕаndѕ оf оthеr ѕіmіlаr grоѕѕly іmmоrаl асtіоnѕ саuѕеd by а Lаbоur gоvеrnmеnt.

    Bасk tо “thе Lаbоur Pаrty іѕ а mоrаl сruѕаdе – оr іt іѕ nоthіng.”

    Frоm thе аbоvе:
    Lаbоur іѕ сlеаrly nоt а mоrаl сruѕаdе еrgо, ІT ІЅ NОTHІNG.

  192. 192
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Agreed.

    It is the kind of behavior which Church missionaries pushed on the third world in order to keep numbers down.

    Didn’t work there, but did contribute to the rapid spread of HIV-AIDS.

    This is clearly part of the agenda:

    The EU wishes people to die of AIDS and not have families / children.

  193. 193
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Who exactly did M’itchell annoy – or is this part of a broader EU / Cameron conspiracy to keep him down and out.

    Certainly does not improve the image of the police, and helps refocus on the equally dodgy CPS / DPP office.

    How are they getting on with the p’edo investigations which they are desperately trying to whitewash ?

    They are going to have to start arresting security services staff who were involved in the use of kids from children’s homes in ‘honey trap brothels': K’inkora was happening on the mainland also.

    – The DA Notice cannot be used to keep their names off the record, especially as the argument that they were acting in the national interest is simply not going to wash.

  194. 194
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    The Sun is green.

  195. 195
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    With uncontrolled immigration from lands afar, Labour are a crusade, but are fighting on the wrong side.

  196. 196
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP

  197. 197
    FFS says:

    The cost of the state as a “benefit in kind” would be £20,000 for every employed person. On top of that it is possible to claim £10,000 a year in tax credits – since these are handled directly by HMRC they do not appear as a “cost” to the state.

    Therefore every minimum wage immigrant that moves to Britain to get a job is actually costing the state £30,000 per year.

    We cannot simply keep loading these people onto the backs of the middle-class taxpayer.

  198. 198
    Persona non grata says:

    Have a look at the seen elsewhere section for Limpdums targeting Eastern European votes in the Euro’s. Truly truly desperate stuff from the yellow peril.

  199. 199
    FFS says:

    The mongs that vote Labour might not actually be put off by Fatbott

  200. 200
    David Cameron, 'leading' from behind says:

    So, the question of how Dave has justified his salary this week is perhaps best left unanswered in detail for reasons of decency, but broadly speaking it is quite clear that he has not.

    A further reward for failure.

    What then are the odds that next week he may do something to justify next weeks pay packet ?

  201. 201
    FFS says:

    Immigrants jamming the door open for more immigrants.

    All supported by parties that believe in the welfare state, even though each immigrant places another £30,000 loading on that welfare state through tax credits and benefits in kind.

    We’d better hope Adelle releases another album soon – she’s the one that’s paying for this ever more ridiculous charade.

  202. 202
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    “Savaged by LibDems” an absolute requirement for any Tory Cabinet Minister’s “Political CV” if they are hoping to run for leadership of party in May 2015 post “Dave’s” election defeat

  203. 203
    Summer Holiday says:

    Surely not me?

  204. 204
    Just maybe says:

    Perhaps he was looking for a left handed screwdr**ver

  205. 205
    Just maybe says:

    Cheer up -at least somebody is reading it (whatever ‘it’ may be).

  206. 206

    The root of the word crusade is the Latin crux which was an execution frame used by the Romans. Clearly the attachment of an morality here was tenuous.

    The Christians adopted it as their sign because of that. The crusades then set us up for much of today’s troubles. It does appear to trace further back into Proto Indo-European language, unfortunately bearing the acronym PIE, meaning to bend.

    The more one looks, the worse it gets…

  207. 207
    Malcolm Muggeridge says:

    Well if it means our kids are told of the dangers of socialism and communism I am all for it.

  208. 208
    Weeeeed says:

    They deflowered me.

  209. 209
    Persona non grata says:

    Dave has started to be seen in purple ties, what’s he scared of?

  210. 210
    The hunt is on for Tristram says:

    The results from State Schools are absolutely abysmal.

    It is about time Mickey Grove got in their and kicked ass?

  211. 211
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Did you not know that Guido is a bit of an old fashioned Socialist at heart ?

  212. 212
    David Cameron, 'leading' from behind says:

    With the yellow stripe down his back and the recent actual poll results from local election, he is perhaps seeing the sense of UKIP ?

  213. 213
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

  214. 214
    Jimmy says:

    Glad to hear you don’t just trot out lists of bogus talking points. You’ve certainly set my mind at rest there.

  215. 215
    lojolondon says:

    If anyone wants a great example of exactly what is wrong with our pathetic government and the crooked one that was in place before, see this article by John Redwood on the Environments Agency – run by a senior Labour Wonk – they spent £593 on staff and £20m on culverts and channels, maintaining and improving water flow :

    http://johnredwoodsdiary.com/2014/02/02/the-environment-agency-where-does-all-the-money-go/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+JohnRedwoodsDiary+%28John+Redwood%27s+Diary%29

  216. 216
    Man on Rugby tour coach says:

    In the story of syphilisation
    From the anthropoid apes down to Man,
    It is commonly held that the Navy
    Has buggered whatever it can.
    But more recent extensive researches
    By Darwin and Huxley and Hoyle
    Have conclusively proved that the hedgehog
    Has never been buggered at all.

    Why haven’t they done it at Spithead
    As they’ve done it at Harvard and Yale,
    And also at Oxford and Cambridge
    By shaving the spines off its tail.

    ( air: Eton Boating Song)

  217. 217
    Airey Belvoir says:

    He bought her a pink laptop, and put it on expenses, as I recall.

  218. 218
    treetop91 says:

    Why get bothered about Yeo ? The next election will see UKIP romp home in so many areas as all the current the smearing works against the smearers !


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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