February 1st, 2014

Saturday Seven Up

This week 113,197 visitors visited 334,447 times viewing 604,083 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

106 Comments

  1. 1
    Denis MacShane says:

    I’m free !

    Like

    • 3

      You are joking, not yet surely.

      Like

      • 35
        Vicky Pryce says:

        I’m no common criminal. I wrote a book about common criminals to prove to everyone that I am not a common criminal.

        Like

        • 70
          East India Company Wallah says:

          How common of you

          Like

          • US v GB says:

            The US Davis Cup Captain (Jim Courier) made a string of mistakes. The venue, the team pick, the dress code and the court surface. But the biggest mistake was taking a bathroom break in the fourth set. That was when he should have been giving a hand and support to his number 1 player.
            The USLTA should tell him to piss off.

            Like

    • 12
      EUHATER says:

      Was he ever in a real cell, I doubt it !

      Like

    • 32
      Constance Briscoe says:

      So am I.

      Crabs anyone?

      Like

    • 34
      Chris Huhne says:

      I done nothing wrong. I didn’t deserve prison.

      Like

      • 60
        Pimp my Politician says:

        I’ve got a one-legged, transgendered dwarf available today. Of any interest?

        Like

      • 94
        Mike Handy(tiny)cock with a peg leg on says:

        I have never been in prison, although compared to those who have, I have done much much worse. I fiddled my MP’s expenses and just had to pay them back, I paid my wife Jacqui £20,000 a year as an ‘occasional case worker’ although she never did any case work as she is totally uneducated and cannot even spell, and never paid the money back. I have been on the Council for Europe for years where I have been shagging young girls, particularly on trip to eastern Europe at tax payer’s expense, and contributed nothing whatsoever to the debate, as like my wife, I am also totally uneducated. I run planning rackets in Portsmouth for my boys to launder their money – they are all big time drug dealers you know, and have been for years, for backhanders and political donations. As for sexually molesting women, I have been doing it for years, that is why I went in to politics in the first place. Now, some of you may be asking why I am not in prison? Well it comes down to the Lodge; in Portsmouth, I, my boys, senior police officers, senior council officers and a few Councillor cronies are all in the same Lodge, that is why I am still in post and running the rackets. Now you know. Boaz.

        Like

    • 37
      EU Criminals says:

      Why wasn’t MacShane sent to do his time in a Polish Prison and Pryce in a Greek prison?

      Not that they do the prison time they were sentenced to anyway.

      Like

    • 39
      Even Libertarians grow old says:

      Why is Guido on Facebook, the Zimmer frame of the internet?

      Like

  2. 2

    Politics is nothing without abuse.

    Like

  3. 4
    Socialists says:

    High life of Bob, the lobster-red baron: With his members set to bring misery to commuters this week, rail union boss Crow escapes to sip cocktails in Rio sunshine

    Like

  4. 5
    Jimmy Savile says:

    Today has found me feeling a little stiff.

    
    

    Damn !
    Now everyone will know that I’m a LibDem.

    Like

  5. 7
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    I’ll get me coat ©

    Like

  6. 8
  7. 10
    Still on hols well into February down under, 30 degrees C. says:

    What a shithole the UK looks from 12000 miles away. This place has sorted the muzzle boat immigrants by pulling the twats back in unsinkable boats, cost £500m, which they get to keep. No boats coming in now. Strong government from Abbott, a real man of the people.

    Like

    • 16
      M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

      So there’s flotillas of old junks coming out from Indonesia and Sri Lanka to get themselves a nice shiny trade-ins from the daft Ozzies.

      Like

      • 19
        Still down under says:

        No, it’s afghans and pakis mainly. The boats are unsinkable tiny hulks that can be used for nothing but it stops the twats trying to sink themselves in Oz waters. Suggest the EU orders some for Malta and Italy.

        Total boat immys Jan 2014…….nil.

        Like

      • 93
        FFS says:

        It’s a hell of a lot cheaper than having the fuckers sponge off your social security for generations.

        Like

  8. 11
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    David Cameron is turning into KIng Canute.

    Like

    • 15
      Casual Observer 6 says:

      When you lead from behind you get knifed in the front.

      Like

    • 67
      Tory right wings "cunning plan" to ensure that they are never again in power says:

      Simon Heffer comes up with a novel idea…Cameron to resign on behalf of Coalition and allow Miliband to be PM for 15 months and show how much Labour would fuck up the economy.

      One or two problems there Simon…1)It would launch an immediate Tory leadership contest 2) No guarantee that Tory Party would win and 3)Once Labour got their hands on power again they would ensure they stayed there this time and would “bribe” the LibDems by offering quick bill on AV and lowering voting age to 16 thus ensuring that Labour will always be in government therefater

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/columnists/article-2549859/Why-Some-Tory-MPs-want-Red-Ed-PM.html

      Like

      • 87
        EUHATER says:

        I thought we already had a Labour Government .

        Like

      • 91
        John Bellingham says:

        Any good pollsters out there? Wouldn’t AV provide a dominant UKIP/Conservative majority?

        Like

      • 99
        a UKIP supporter says:

        The new ban on smoking in cars being pushed though by Labour shows how pointless voting Tory has become. It’s bad enough that last place LibDems have half the cabinet but now the opposition are making the laws it really doesn’t matter anymore who gets in.

        Like

  9. 13
    prat fat Crowe, geezer from brazil says:

    I’ll twat any tossers who think they can nick my piña colada, I love me appy hour cock tails. You lot can fuck off.

    Like

  10. 14
    Casual Observer 6 says:

    Hollande’s and his government of teats – even by French standards – have royally screwed up France.

    He is now seeking to blame UK media – an indirect political attack seeing as the UK press is government run these days.

    Why is the UK in a union with those utter bastards in France ?

    And then there is S’pain…

    Like

    • 18
      M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

      Hollande should demand sovereignty over the Channel Islands. Similar strategy took the heat off that old bat in Argentina for a while.

      Like

  11. 20
    Still down under says:

    No, it’s afgha’ns and pa’kistanis mainly. The boats are unsinkable tiny hulks that can be used for nothing else but it stops the twats trying to sink themselves in Oz waters. Suggest the EU orders some for M’alta and It’aly.

    Total boat immys Jan 2014…….nil.

    Reply

    Like

  12. 25
    Ab dull from Mor'occo says:

    You are not wrong brother.

    Like

  13. 27
    Ab dull from Mor'occo says:

    We think la belle France needs less hollandaise and more muzzle breeders.

    Like

  14. 29
    Ceuta, Melilla, Islas Alhucemas, Islas Chafarinas, Peñón de Vélez de la Gomera etc says:

    We love the Euro!

    Like

  15. 33
    UKIP first and last says:

    Cameron praises his friend Hollande for his economic reforms, Hollande pours cold water on Camerons hopes of treaty renegotiations. Cameron is in the process of handing control of our military to France with a military cooperation treaty that favours the French, next step handing effective control of our nuclear forces to France.

    Its a question of give and take, the frogs take and the British do all the giving, its a good job we have got a strong leader fighting our corner isnt it?

    Like

    • 36
      EUHATER says:

      Cameron’s tongue was firmly implanted right up Hollande’s arsehole !

      Like

      • 42
        Casual Observer 6 says:

        Cameron is a cowardly and treasonous little piece of shit who should be dispatched at the earliest opportunity.

        Ideally shortly after the upcoming Euro elections.

        Like

    • 50
      kmc says:

      “Its a question of give and take, the frogs take and the British do all the giving”

      That sums up our relationship with the EU as a whole, really.

      Like

  16. 38
    Nigel Farage says:

    I am smoked Kipper.

    Like

  17. 40
    Ah! 'm a headless chicken says:

    How many boiled eggs this morning Your Highness?

    Like

    • 46
      His Royal Highness says:

      I’ll have Kippers this morning Albert.

      Like

      • 72
        Village Idiot says:

        ……Ah!…kippers,hot buttered toast,marmalade and strong tea….ummm!.,
        …..Anyway,how is it going on the banks of the “Mississippi”….I mean, “The Parret,Tone, Cavey and Brue?
        Is Somerset alive with the sound of “Dixieland Music”….I mean, “The Wurzels”…oo..arr?
        …..How are those Great Ditches,Sedgemoor and Athelney,or the rhines,after all the years of neglect?..Not good for cotton picking,i mean, agriculture….Still, the creoles know what they are doing,pity they speak French…..I feel a little confused,perhaps a little waterlogged…….(subtle comparison)

        Like

    • 47
      Françoise Hollande says:

      …and will he give Camilla one?

      Like

  18. 43
    Françoise Hollande says:

    Why
    Am I
    So Small?

    Like

  19. 51
    David Cameron says:

    This weekend I am learning needlework so that I can stitch up Kippers.

    Like

  20. 52
    Françoise Hollande says:

    I’ve joined our local am dram society, it’s so nice to meet fellow morning whisky drinkers.

    Like

  21. 53
    Ah! About time. says:

    Crime
    NHS staff told to report female genital mutilation.

    Extradite Cat!

    Like

    • 56
      Killer Bercow says:

      I was the bit that was left.

      *innocent face*

      Like

    • 58
      Malcom Muggeridge says:

      So if someone chops my bollocks off that doesn’t matter then ?

      Is this really the measure of this Government that is such a financial burden on us all.

      Like

    • 89
      EUHATER says:

      Why are the government concerned about how the muslims treat their own young girls ,they sure as hell weren’t concerned how they treated ours !

      Like

  22. 57
  23. 62
    Ah! what do you expect? says:

    Boy, six, suspended from school for four days after he was found to have a packet of Mini Cheddars in his lunchbox.

    Emulating Beckham no doubt

    Like

    • 63
      Genghiz the kahn says:

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2549618/Boy-six-suspended-school-four-days-packet-Mini-Cheddars-lunchbox.html

      Am surprised he hasn’t been holding up a sign with his number on it.

      Like

      • 68
        First Server; Second Server !! says:

        In my day the schools didn’t give a monkey’s what you ate especially judging by some of the slop they served up for school dinners and anyone who went to school in the 60’s can never forget that gristly so called “Dutch Roast” or the “Hungarian Goulash” that resembled diarrhea or “semolina pudding and raisins” which kids called “vomit and rabbit droppings”!!

        Like

        • 81
          Hard hearted Anna the dinner lady from Hell says:

          …..and those wonderful innards innocently described as “sweetbreads”. It always used to make me feel sick just looking at it and I had to forgo my lunch and stand in the naughty corner until lunch was over for refusing to go anywhere near it.

          Like

      • 83
        Anonymous says:

        The school is “special measures” FFS! The staff have a lot more to worry about than a packet of cheese biscuits.

        Like

    • 66
      kmc says:

      Aha! That’s how you get to take the kids on holiday during term-time without incurring a £1,000 fine! Just put a packet of mini cheddars in little Johnnie’s packed lunch and voila!

      Like

    • 85
      EUHATER says:

      The ones to blame in cases like this are the parents , if they had told all the statist interfering busybodies where to get off in the first place they would never have become so emboldened.

      Like

  24. 64
    The Labour Party says:

    Our 350m members will decide the vote. Pаkistan is fully affiliated.

    Like

  25. 69
    What's going on at the Torygraph? says:

    Anyone noticing how the Torygraph is having less and less stories with comments open these days?

    Also they seem very reluctant to report on the Handcock affair and the recent events in the Lords. As for the trouble in the Ukraine, virtually every story about it strangely has no comments.

    I think all the MSM and the political class would dearly love to go back to a pre-internet age press. An age where opinions could be dictated from on high, and no discussion from the general public published, apart from a few hand picked and carefully edited letters.

    Like

  26. 79
    Killer Bercow says:

    Wanna see my gash?

    Like

  27. 90
    Anonymous says:

    All this crap about reforming the unions,Labour will win the next election because of the millions relying on tax credits,benefits and other associated state handouts.In the end it will be the IMF who eventually sort out public spending in this country but it will be too late.You only have to look at America and the numbers sucking on the teat of American taxpayers,why do you think Obama was elected? and that it is unlikely we will get anothe Republican in the White House in my time,unless of course he is a dark skinned,hispanic speaking libertarian you will be better off trying to find Lord Lucan.

    Like

  28. 101
    Ab dull from Mor'occo says:

    We will very much like to be in eu clubby. My cousins and fellow religious fanatically in other hot sun afrika Hunt ries say same. Our many wives and are like your lord bath waivelets so we have many children then to be baling to get bennies.

    Like


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VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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