January 31st, 2014

Probably Not at the Helm

Whoever made this chart of government special advisers for public affairs agency MWWPR is either having some fun or has landed the SpAd movement scoop of the year. Finally an explanation for all those random Observer splashes, Toby was after their jobs…


  1. 1
    Anonymong says:

    Toby or not to be.


  2. 2
    Emily Thornberry says:

    I was appalling on last night’s Question Time. I fucked up royally. I mean, even the audience was laughing at me! How did that happen?!

    I’m going to console myself with some cream cakes.


  3. 3
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Who is Toby Helm?


  4. 4
    M Gove says:

    I was misheard on a phone conversation. I was saying “Toby’s a helmet”.


  5. 6
    E w a n m e says:

    reports that ken clarke & teresa may are being sent to somerset to act as “human shields” to protect the local greggs bakery have been confirmed by sky news.

    dave is in control & taking action. boy george has pledged £23.70 to act as a buffer. lord chris of finsbury was unavailable for comment. dining at nobu with martina navratilova.

    E w a x


    • 11
      What a load of Bulmers! says:

      On the cider early today?


    • 15
      Tom King from Bridgwater says:

      Whilst I think Ken Clarke might be able to hold things together in one of the local hostelries I do not think it is a smart move sending Mrs May; the average Somerset Leveller up to his ankles in mud does not take too kindly to false protestations of sympathy from women wearing crocodile skinned shoes.


    • 34
      Sod the houses being flooded we need to protect our wetlands for birds says:

      I suspect that until 4 days ago most of the Westminster crowd including ministers and environment agency had never heard of the “Somerset Levels”


      • 53
        One-term Dave (dragging the Tories to their grave) says:

        Well, I was going to level Somerset, bury it under concrete and stuff it full of houses for all the spiffing immigrants I’m letting into Britain. But, dash it, all this bally rain has put paid to that plan for now, what what.

        Mind you, so long as the immigrants are reasonably good swimmers or can float on their backs for extended periods of time, they should manage alright in future floods.


        Tally ho!


  6. 7
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Why are those people in Sellafied doing Press Releases ?

    Has someone died ? Has someone gone home without locking up ? Is there a problem ?

    On top of that that nice president Hollande is coming today. Having been struck by lightning once on his travels he is beginning to make Mr Brown look lucky.

    They are of course both Socialists.


    • 8
      Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

      I have an auntie who lives in Workington which is close to that Windscale place.

      One day she woke up and all her hair had fallen out. So she went down to her local NHS Drop In Centre and saw Dr Schettino who told her not to worry and go home and have a nice cup of tea.

      Her hair still hasn’t grown back.


    • 48
      Pub Landlord says:

      No, I am not giving him a bar tab


  7. 10
    Gordon Brown's shed says:

    Today .. I are mostly … combining tizer and special brew in the match pot mixing section of B&Q.


  8. 12
    Hereford Cow says:

    Another error: Robert Goodwill is not a Lib Dem – he’s Tory MP for Scarborough, but listed as Lib Dem undersec at transport.


  9. 13
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    How to hoax a hacker: The ‘honeypot passwords’ that could keep your online account safe

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2549094/How-hoax-hacker-The-honeypot-passwords-online-account-safe.html#ixzz2ry8yax66
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook


  10. 17
    Hereford Cow says:

    ..and a third error, Susan Kramer, definitely a Lib Dem, is listed as a Tory.

    I do hope nobody is paying this lobbying firm much…..but there’s an amazingly large number of naive and frankly dim businessmen who probably are…


  11. 19
    Still on hols down under, yes into February says:

    Spades, MPs, tossers central…..

    If no one has the cojones including Edward then the whole parliament thing is a waste of time, money and space. FFS if you can’t deal with the uman rites of murderers etc without becoming all EU and squeamish and wanting to be nice all the time then just fuck off and let’s have a Vladimar.


  12. 22
    Sir William Wayde says:

    What is the noun of assembly for spads? A splatter? A sucking-up? An infestation?


  13. 24
    Alan Clark says:



  14. 26
    Rip Van Winkle says:



  15. 35
    Fucking sexual psychopath bitch says:

    Amanda Knox should be executed. Evil c-unt.


    • 36
      Still on hols down under, yes into February says:

      Solicitoe picked up hopping out to Slovenia.


    • 38
      Ah! don't get upset says:

      ‘Twas only a game.


      • 43
        kmc says:

        If only Knox had thought of that as her defence.

        “Yes, your honour, I stabbed her to death, but only because we got bored of playing Twister”.


    • 51
      BBC Newsnight / Guardian joint productions says:

      Oh no she shouldn’t.

      She’s a gentle misunderstood sole, as our chat with her, last night showed. Shame on you and shame on the British tabloids for being beastly to her.

      We socialists are nicer and more intelligent people than you righties. Soooo intelligent in fact, that we know, irrespective of what 25 Italian judges say, she is innocent


    • 59
      Mitch says:

      She does appear to have psycopathic traits, but we don’t really know, obviously.


      • 65
        22points says:

        She won’t go back ‘willingfully’


        • 84
          altruism in industry says:

          of the 2 accused one of them tries to fit up somebody else and the other legs it


          • Fly on the wall says:

            He should have thought of that a few weeks ago, dozy twat; and to travel anywhere without his burqa – well, that is just asking to be caught.

            By the way has Arnie been caught and deported yet?


  16. 42
    Twitter ye not freqoently to maximise your ' Followers' says:

    D. Lama


  17. 62
    altruism in industry says:

    Maybe it’s a sign that the Isles of Avalon have returned perhaps a true Kng will rise up and rid the land of thieves, Charlatans and Johnny Foreigner


  18. 67
    Dave Camperon PM says:

    I hope you 87 MPs who tried to embarrass me yesterday realise I have put an NP ( no promotion ) next to your names.


  19. 68

    Just read your link to the Philip Collins article on Cameron in the Times. The man really is a clever fool, isn’t he? A man who knows everything and understands nothing, not unlike his mate Milliband.

    I guess he doesn’t read this but, just in case, IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID!

    He still won’t get it, though.

    No hope for Britain if people keep on thinking like him.


  20. 72
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Emily Thornberry on QT last night showed us what labour is all about.
    Hypocritical, talk over everybody, clueless, no ability to make a decision, hopeless.


  21. 75
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    After Ed Balls announced that labour would increase the 45p tax rate to 50p. Ummuna then said that the 50p rate would be temporary.
    Does this mean that labour will increase the 50p rate even further.
    So what is labour’s position? Have labour ruled out a further increase?


  22. 89
    Westminster Bubble says:

    Chief Whip’s SPAD – wrong


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