January 28th, 2014

Hard Graf: Catch 22 for the Guru

Chris Bryant’s Rivers of Blunder immigration speech last summer outlined Labour’s tough new approach to tackling the problem of people working in Britain illegally. He vowed:

“We need to make it easier to bring prosecutions; Labour will double the fines for minimum wage breaches and for illegal employment of illegal migrants… Labour will put forward serious proposals to tackle illegal entry. I want to see more companies providing assurances and demonstrating what they are doing to train and recruit local staff, rather than… bringing in workers in from abroad.”

How many unemployed British Labour gurus were overlooked when the job was given to Graf?

Labour are arguing this morning that Miliband guru Arnie Graf “is not employed by the Labour Party”, despite admitting they “reimburse him for lost earnings”, and directly contradicting Graf’s own confession that he works for the party. Either Graf is not paid a wage, does not pay income tax and so Labour reimbursing his earnings has serious tax implications, or they are paying him a wage and he is working here illegally. Which is it, General Secretary?


  1. 1
    Itchy Scrote says:

    Reading between the lines, I’m guessing you’re enjoying this, Guido.

    [To be fair, so am I]

  2. 2
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Labour have been flushed out a rogue employer and are now ducking for cover behind a smokescreen of deceit.

    Guido’s got them on the run!

  3. 3
    Stephen Fry says:

    Chris Bryant is pants

  4. 4
    Dave says:

    Never mind rivers, my fat fudgepacking kosher friend, I want floods! Floods of enriching Third Worlders, and floods to drown hideously White indigenous scum.

  5. 5
    Lord Bumwatch says:

    Should be prosecuted and deported but it wont happen!

  6. 6
    RufusHound-Unfunny-hate-filled-BBCer says:

    Moe Labour sleaze

    the jimmy savile BBC filth will ignore this heinous crime against the citizens of England

  7. 7
    Chuka takes Faux Offence says:

  8. 8
    Stephen Fry says:

    I shall play the role of David Cameron, even though unlike me Dave is neither fat, homosexual or a J*w.

  9. 9
    Arnie Graf says:

    oy vey!

  10. 10
    One 4 All says:



  11. 11
    The Electorate they say.....NO !!! says:

    Latest ComRes poll puts Labour on 33% and Tories on 32% Sun latest YouGov puts Labour on 37% and Tories on 35%.

    It appears that Balls’ Tax policy has had an effect but NOT the one he and Miliband thought…..Get ready for massive screech of brakes and rapid reverse turn

  12. 12
    Hugh Janus says:

    So are the rest of us, IS!

    The principle of ‘say one thing, do another’ is alive and well (and one that Shameron has learnt too since 2010).

  13. 13
    Anon says:

    If chukka’s that offended he won’t be accepting his fee or taking anymore fee paying interviews will he.

  14. 14
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Labour and the unions still have not come clean over Falkirk, so why would they give us the truth on Graf’s situation. Is socialist tax avoidance allowed by HMRC?

  15. 15
  16. 16
    The real Electorate they say..... says:

    Fuck off, LIBLABCON!!!

  17. 17
    He's so Vain says:

    He’s offended all right but not for the reason he gives. He can’t tolerate having the piss taken out of him

  18. 18
    You can't make it up says:

    They had Reverend Flowers as their banking advisor.

    Now it seems they’re illegally hiring a tax-dodger to advise them on what’s popular.

  19. 19
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Ah, the upstanding Bryant – defrocked vicar, who cruises for homosexualist sex by posing online in his underpants and who, along with Foghorn Reeves, thought it would be oh-so-clever to take Cable apart for not voting when he was visiting his terminally-ill wife in hospital.

    What an utterly useless, charmless, devious and nasty little nark Bryant is. Why anyone would want to be ‘represented’ by lowlife like him really is beyond me.

  20. 20
    Anne Frank says:

    anyone got a biro?

  21. 21
    nonce protector Dave says:


  22. 22
    Fish says:

    What a nasty piece of work. You can see why he wasn’t cut out to be a vicar.

  23. 23
    BBC establishment says:

    We shall be covering this story when hell freezes over.

  24. 24
    Mr Potato Head2 says:

    I see you already have plans to invite 75 million Moslim Turks. It is a start, Dave.

  25. 25
    Anon. says:

    “If you knowingly employ an illegal worker, you can also go to jail for up to 2 years and receive an unlimited fine”.


  26. 26
    Mr Potato Head2 says:

    Ed man walking.

  27. 27
    Britain has the fastest growing economy in Western Europe says:

    That one point lead has got you lefties spooked, hasn’t it?


  28. 28
    Mr Potato Head2 says:

    He’s offended that anyone would think he would wear anything as trashy as short trousers.

  29. 29
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Oh thit!

  30. 30
    The Vicar of Bray says:

    The mix of people that other jobs/professions do. The mere donning of a “dog collar” doesn’t necessarily mean instant sainthood or the eschewing of ambition for advancement over the heads of your colleagues

  31. 31
    Wait - what! says:

    He is therefore, mostly upset.

  32. 32
    gramma says:

    Selfie photos in soiled underpants can often be the ultimate pull-pits for those so inclined.

  33. 33
    Ignorantia juris non excusat says:

    “I know nothing”

  34. 34
    Prescott's chipolata says:

    ComRes poll:
    Labour down 4%
    Tories. Unchanged
    UKIP. UP 4%

    so why do all the commentators talk of disaffected Tories? Surely this poll shows that Miliband has just as much to worry about from the UKIP surge.

  35. 35
    Eddie baby says:

    Cotht of illegal employment cwithith..

  36. 36
    retardEd Miliband says:

    And they’ve got me ath leader, even though it wath my thlightly leth wetarded bwother who won the leaderthip election.

  37. 37
    Ed Militwit - making Michael Foot look competent says:

    Waythitht! Too far, too fatht! Er, er…

  38. 38
    Mark Oaten - another (ex) politician says:

    Shit, yeah!

  39. 39
    Hugh Janus says:

    Well said MC – spot on.

  40. 40
    Barry on B-Wing says:

    *slobber* Fresh meat! *drool*

  41. 41
    Helpful translation says:

    Legalese: “If you knowingly employ an illegal worker, you can also go to jail for up to 2 years and receive an unlimited fine”.

    English: “We won’t do anything.”

  42. 42
    Why can't Politicians think things through? says:

    He’s very upset, very very upset indeed, to be ridiculed for making a daft statement which deserves ridicule.

    Brillo is correct. No way can we rebalance our economy back to manufacturing while all political parties are producing policies that increase energy prices. If they can’t manage to accept that basic fact of life, then there is no hope.

  43. 43
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Pwease!! Don’t penetwate me too far, too fatht!

  44. 44
    White Dee & Black Dee says:

    We need more illegal immigrants to get the growth we need to make the benefit system work, we wont stand for anything less.

  45. 45
    Does that include you and your unpaid Intern Chuks? says:


  46. 46
    Labour is not working says:

    5 good reasons why immigration does not work.

  47. 47
    White Dee & Black Dee says:

    No,No,No we need the all three benefit parties in power, power to the people well the unemployed ones anyway, more bennies = more votes.

  48. 48
    Does that include you and your unpaid Intern Chuks? says:

    The Tweet has been deleted.

    It read

    Westminster Eye ‏@WestminsterEye · 7 mins
    1/2 “The authorities must urgently investigate any rogue employers who do not pay the minimum wage” says Chuka Umunna.

  49. 49
    What a munter says:

    Phwooooar! Sorry, that should read puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke!

  50. 50
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    The Office of Graf will be invoicing the Labour Party for the services of one its employees.

    American citizens pay US income tax wherever they are working in the world so I would doubt Graf would want to be paying 45% on top of that.

  51. 51
    Sandalista says:

    I hope a formal complaint has been made to the appropriate authorities.

  52. 52
    White Dee & Black Dee says:

    Or you can make lots of money and pay no tax on it, your choice the chances of getting caught are negligible go for it and join in with the growth.

    And don’t tell HMRC that you are paying us off the books.

  53. 53
    _______________ says:

  54. 54
    Lady muck says:

    Don’t they employ ilegals (as domestics) as well?

  55. 55
    Labour says:

    | The STFU Truck |||””‘|””\__,_
    | _____________ l||__|__|__|) |

  56. 56
    White Dee & Black Dee says:

    We maybe scum but we are British scum and therefore entitled to anything we want if not more so pay your taxes and keep the benefits coming.

  57. 57
    Pete Seeger RIP says:

  58. 58
    BBC New "Good" News says:

    UK economy growing at fastest rate since 2007

    But growth in the fourth quarter was down slightly on the third quarter’s 0.8% figure and annual growth remains well below 2007’s 3.4% pace.

    But industrial production fell slightly from 0.8% to 0.7%, dragged down by falling North Sea oil and gas output.

    Construction – which accounts for less than 8% of gross domestic product (GDP) – fell by 0.3% in the quarter, despite the recent recovery in a housing market boosted by the government’s Help to Buy scheme.

    The ONS figures are themselves preliminary estimates, based on early submissions and are subject to revision.

    Stronger GDP growth is leading to speculation that the Bank of England may be forced to raise its base interest rate – currently 0.5% – sooner than it had expected.

  59. 59
    Ma­q­bo­ul says:

    Utterly boring.

  60. 60
    Sandalista says:

    That is fine so long as he has the correct permit to work.

  61. 61
    White Dee & Black Dee says:

    Why didn’t he call himself Chuka I’m a Tosser when he renamed himself, it would make things much easier for commentators.
    You haven’t visited our street or sent any relief money so you are a tosser.

  62. 62
    White Dee & Black Dee says:

    Base rates should be increased immediately, our ISAs and other investments are really struggling at this time.
    Drugs and Cigs aren’t getting any cheaper.

  63. 63
    Mornington Crescent says:


    The Cluster Fuck Truck

  64. 64
    C.O.Jones says:

    Amazes me that when these people are challenged about unpaid interns they respond with the “they are gaining work experience” cop out.

    Are they saying that anyone who is in “training” or “gaining experience” can live on fresh air and SHOULD NOT BE PAID.

  65. 65
    Sue says:

    Tell that to Barnoess Scotland – another Labour luvvie sucking at the taxpayer teat whilst employing illegal aliens -& getting away with it in Court.

    Justice is for the little people – not Labour elites.

  66. 66
    Illegal Immigrant Labour says:

    The people behind this must be suspended by Labour.

    The Home Office must launch an rapid prosecution.

  67. 67
    C.O.Jones says:

    After all these young people are normally fresh out of university, loaded with student loans, tuition fees and debt and are some of the most vulnerable members of our society.

  68. 68
    It's really not working says:

    Just charge it all for our charity office in Kirkcaldy. We’ll not notice it.

  69. 69
    Mitch says:

    Lemmy and the boys do it better..

  70. 70
    Not a BBC spokesperson says:

    And that’ll never happen owing to climate change (checks pension value).

  71. 71
    Not a BBC spokesperson says:

    All industry can be run off solar panels on the roof of Broadcasting House and a wind turbine attached to the chin of our dear leader.
    To need any more is imperialist decadence punishable by tax and our dear leader’s dogs.

  72. 72
    George Osbourne says:

    We are growing so fast now we will suck up all the immigrants and still need you to burger flip in MaccyD’s.

  73. 73
    Wait - what! says:

    Ed Balls says that the recovery is not built to last – http://www.itv.com/news/update/2014-01-28/ed-balls-this-is-not-a-recovery-that-is-built-to-last/

    All we need is Blanchflower to agree and growth is a done deal.

  74. 74
    FFS says:

    Does somebody on the net have a list of all the MPs that are perverts, crooks, foreign, Muzzie or J’ews?

    I’m beginning to think there are no straight Brits in Parliament.

  75. 75
    Wait - what! says:

    When a growing economy is a bad thing.
    Only at the BBC.

  76. 76
    George Osbourne says:

    You’ve got two more years on bennies tops. Enjoy it while it lasts fatty.

  77. 77
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    Labour caught out lying again ,Why am I not surprised ?

  78. 78
    Priti Patel MP says:

    I heard he was wearing them last week. Nice shiny PVC ones from “Honour”.

  79. 79
    Antipo-dean says:

    You what now? “Re-imburse him for lost earnings?” Well, my employer reimburses me for lost earnings for not working for someone else, too.

  80. 80
    BBC New "Good" News says:

    But gross domestic product (GDP) for the fourth quarter fell to 0.7%, down from 0.8% in the previous quarter, it said.

    And economic output is still 1.3% below its 2008 first quarter level,

    Ed Balls, Labour’s shadow chancellor, said: “Today’s growth figures are welcome and long overdue after three damaging years of flatlining.

    “But, for working people facing a cost-of-living crisis, this is still no recovery at all.”

  81. 81
    Centre Parting says:

    Without doubt Red Ed will be making his ‘Rivers of flood’ speech and blaming Enoch.

  82. 82
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:


  83. 83
    Zoologist Richard Dawkins says:

    An entirely new species of primate discovered in Birmingham.

    Evolution in action.

  84. 84

    William Bryant was a Quaker who set up Bryant and May who made matches. They created a model factory in Bow. When I smoked in my earlier life, I used to use them as one could strike a match upon a brick or the pavement.

    This Bryant, as you say, is about as opposite to his industrious namesake as could be possible. He is clearly only concerned with himself and is on an ego trip which will leave no worthwhile legacy behind. Not that he would even think about that, let alone care…

  85. 85
    Santa Osbourne says:

    You better watch out.
    You better not cry.
    You better not pout.
    I’m telling you why.
    Employment is coming to town.

  86. 86
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Dear Sir, in order to answer your question about Mr Van der graaf generator, and his apparent illegal employment by the Labour Party, please allow us to draw to your attention the protocol addopted by Labour in 1921, of: “So what if we are breaking the law? We are Labour, so we are the good guys in the course of truth justice and the American British way.”

  87. 87
    C.O.Jones says:

    That’s not evolution.

  88. 88
    White Dee says:


  89. 89
    Notes to the Hurrying Man says:

    Dave is fat, he likes the idea of gay sex as he’s constantly going on about it suspect he’s in denial (current theory has it all males are in denial) not sure what if any faith Dave has other than coining it and taking us into the Euro Fed Union as soon as possible.

  90. 90
    Keith Vaz says:

  91. 91
    MB. says:

    It seems that once again Labour are forgetting the First Rule of Holes.

    “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.”

    They would be far better just admitting that they have made a mistake, apologising and saying he will be on a plane out of the country by the end of the week.

  92. 92
    Bemused says:

    I don’t know Ed. It just seems to me that if law-makers are also law-breakers then then concept of everyone being equal under the law becomes completel bollox.

    It just feels like maybe the power elite do whatever the fuck they like, even molesting kiddies, and the rest of us get oppressed just for using words the power elite don’t like.

    Maybe you should all just fuck off. In fact maybe what we really need is a new Cromwell to go through you fuckers like a dose of salts and flush you shits into the North Sea.

    Frankly you’ve lost any kind of moral authority, and your protestations that we shouldn’t take a shotgun to your smug faces mean nothing, given that the justification for taking that bad man Saddam Hussein out of the picture could equally be applied to most British MPs.

  93. 93
    FFS says:

    And then they have 2 children.

    All supported on a minimum wage.

    “But we pay taxes!” they protest. Yeah, about £600 a year. Meanwhile just giving them free access to the NHS costs the taxpayer £6000 per year for a family of 4.

    Just how much longer can this go on?

  94. 94
    Phossy-jaw victim says:

    Model factory my arse!

  95. 95
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Jeez. Dee Mountainous One makes me glad I am actually a Displaced Brummie, after the Shitty Council had our part of central Brum replaced with a flyover.

  96. 96
    The Truth? says:

    Do you really think Labour care, Pleb?
    Vote Labour or have Spending cut.

  97. 97

    David Dale’s New Lanark might also be stuffed up there, then.

  98. 98
    put stuff in stuff comes out says:

    A model walking around biological species producing gas

  99. 99
    Ed Bum says:

    and if I had been in charge, instead of Darling, the UK recession would barely have occurred,
    the economy would have bounced back, but for Osborne,
    we would by now have government revue paying for government spending investing for our future and paying off our debt.

  100. 100
    a BBC economist says:

    I begged Paxman and co repeatedly to tackle Balls over productivity barely moving since 2005. It is from his policies being implemented and remained because of his policies. If Cable has done anything there will be a lag before anything happens, and we wait, and no body has pointed out what cable has done not even the Lib Dems.

  101. 101
    Fly on the wall says:

    Nobody but nobody has the right not to be offended – including trash (his word, not mine) like him.

  102. 102
    Fly on the wall says:

    A model is “a smaller version of the real thing” – or so my dictionary informs me.

  103. 103
    Fly on the wall says:

    The happy (pitchfork) hour is approaching rapidly.

  104. 104
    Fly on the wall says:

    Yes, this one looks like a DDD 48″ . Not sure what the other one takes.

  105. 105
    Fly on the wall says:

    That looks to be straight out of Peston’s top drawer “reserve crap” folder.

  106. 106
    Fly on the wall says:

    Quite so, but before we proceed further could you please enlighten us on just exactly what Cable has done (except continuously interfere with Dave and George’s efforts to improve things)?

  107. 107
    Fly on the wall says:

    How long is a piece of string?

  108. 108
    Julian the Wonderhorse says:

    Byron Burgers, don’t you mean?

  109. 109
    Fly on the wall says:

    … and, as an illegal law breaker, he will be banned from ever coming back. What’s not to like?

  110. 110
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Not overnight: but energy efficiency is a manufacturing industry in itself, and one of the major ones of the future. Do you think the Chinese enjoy burning brown coal? No: they’re knocking out more solar panels than the rest of the world put together.
    Why should an economy that is developing at x% a year not be becoming more energy-efficient at a similar rate?
    The energy we waste would be a wild aspiration for many countries to produce. Brillo’s usually very sound, but he’s thinking very conventionally here.

  111. 111
    NE Frontiersman says:

    ‘ Labour will … Labour will .. I want to see…’
    Chris, give us a summary of what you actually DID.

  112. 112
    Oh noes says:

    Of course they’re knocking out solar panels like mad, the Governments of the West are creating the conditions where we have to buy them and they’re laughing all the way to the bank at our stupidity.

  113. 113
    Proud as punch says:

    I’m so proud that my 7 year old nephew asked me to make Overkill his ringtone on his wee phone.

  114. 114
    Nuts says:

    And then, the wife has IVF treatment on the NHS, ends up in Hospital for a gynae procedure …. Can’t speak a word of English so an interpreter has to be employed (himself an immigrant).

    All courtesy of the taxpayer…

    I’d like to name the hospital but I won’t!

  115. 115
    Jim says:

    That’s it, I’ve had enough, sign me up as an ‘Elite’.
    Where do I pay my subs?

  116. 116
    PIR says:

    Just how much longer can this go on?

    Until the pushers of mass immigration/eff-nick replacement are smashed and overthrown.

  117. 117
    Anon. says:

    Labour are arguing this morning that Miliband guru Arnie Graf “is not employed by the Labour Party”, despite admitting they “reimburse him for lost earnings”.

    Lost earnings and flights!

    “The only payment he wanted was his forgone wages in the US and flight costs. To Graf’s surprise, Miliband agreed”.

  118. 118
    Displaced Brummie says:

    It’s OK! The Romanian can come, now!

  119. 119
    Jack Ketch says:

    I do not understand this attitude. Throughout history immigrants have entered politics and risen to the top in their adopted country:- for example, Hitler-Austria to Germany. Stalin–Georgia to Russia, Napoleon–Corsica to France, Begin–Poland to Israel, Fidel Castro–Spain to Cuba, Robert Mugabe–Malawi to Zimbabwe. Just look at the wonderful things these people did!

  120. 120
    Jack Ketch says:

    Touchy little prick, isn’t he? A huge problem with all Labourite, Libfiddler and most Tory politicians is that they are so far up themselves that they appear as total Canutes whenever they are challenged. That is why Farage, Boris and a small handful of others are so popular with such a wide range of people.

  121. 121
    4w5tg4w says:

    Ship him “back” to Israel.
    Brit government jobs for brits, not to supporters of despot racist colonies.

  122. 122
    4w5tg4w says:

    Oy Vey! Unless Politicians have skeletons in their cupboards there is no point in putting them into power because we don’t have control over them, is there? Shalom.

  123. 123
    Jack Ketch says:

    NO you are bloody-well not! You are Irish as are most of your neighbours, although many appear to be diddycois, Jamaicans, Nigerians, Romanians and allsorts ( I am a man of Kent and we can spot a Pikey at 500 yards).

  124. 124
    broderick crawford says:

    Better still charge it to our non resident activities office at one hyde park gate london . they CERTAINLY won t notice it .

  125. 125
    Jack Ketch says:

    This explains EVERYTHING! Harrison Umunna MP (educated at St Dunstan’s–the patron saint of the blind) had an IRISH Mother!!!!!!!

  126. 126
    broderick crawford says:

    On the contrary . That ll be Lucifer I ve just seen off to find a furnace de -icer.

  127. 127
    yukbg6758 says:

    Don’t be silly, we didn’t have biros in WW2!
    Oh hang on, how was I able to finish my diary with one?

Seen Elsewhere

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Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
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Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo

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