January 25th, 2014

Saturday Seven Up


497 Comments

  1. 1
    charity my arse says:

    Gordon Brown’s office has £10K a week “expenses”

    • 2
      M­­aqb­­oul says:

      It’s all coming out now: Sc­argill, a secret Tha­tcherite; Bl­air, a ca­pitalist tycoon and Brown, a globe trotting ta­xdodger.

    • 4
      kmc says:

      That’s just the bill for replacement Nokias.

    • 11
      Gordon says:

      Sarah and I are a tax avoidance efficient company and not a charity. I did learn something during my time at the treasury.

      • 51
        Alistair Darling says:

        I spent my time as Chancellor of the Exchequor , house flipping so as to avoid paying tax to the treasury which I was in charge of.

        • 210
          Mr Potato Head says:

          Ed Balls sounds like someone who has ra*ped a girl and then asks her parents if he can take her for a night out.

        • 218
          Dear Darling Account says:

          The tax man paid for me to use a account to minimize my tax liabilities. Not a murmur about the morality of it from Miliband junior or Clegg’n’Cable wise act.

    • 12
      Nick Clegg says:

      A week is a long time in politics.

      • 22
        Tima and motion study says:

        Yeah. About 3 hours ‘work ‘a day hating yoour colleagues, and the rest spent fiddling expenses and preening yourself.

        • 488
          White rabbit says:

          To be fair, I think they also write one letter a week, dictated to their secretary..er I mean wife. And they also spend a bit of time grandstanding and plotting.

      • 26
        Nick Clegg says:

        Een week is een lange tijd in de politiek

    • 129
      Psyche the Dog says:

      “You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…” Hmmm After I have read some of the comments on here regarding Guido (bearing in mind that I do not personally know either of them nor them me), to be on the safe side, I would prefer to keep them in front of me just in case, you understand. This blog has become more right wing, it was easy when B’Liar and Pa Broon were in charge, they just could not keep out of making cockups and various shady practices. Maybe you lot might be interested in this article concerning Boris’s old man and his rebellion over the HS2 project, he has a point if it wasn’t just more than a bit of NIMBEISM

    • 153
      It's a Cracker says:
      • 207
        Genghiz the kahn says:

        Indeed it was.

        photo/1

        We’ve the wrong Miliband in the word cloud.

      • 371
        JH3984902389032 says:

        Ha Ha!

        If you did that Eddie boy, it means that at least half your clients voters, whether they are they benefit-street types or public sector non-jobbers, will need to be wrenched from the net taxpayer’s teat and thrown into the evil world of the private sector, aka ‘reality’.

        They will never vote for you again as revenge for putting them through such a horrid, horrid experience. You had a ‘deal’ with them, and you broke it!

      • 493
        Sgt Oddball says:

        Jeeping fook, that’s quite a change of tack from the party whose Treasury Secretary departed office leaving ‘I’m afraid there is no money left’ eh.

    • 456
      a real 50p joke says:

      Denise Royle: Dad, stop fiddling with yourself.
      Jim Royle: I’m not fiddling with meself, I paid a quid for these underpants and I’ve got about 50 pence worth stuck up me arse.
      Barbara Royle: She’s right. If you’re not picking you’re arse, you’re pecking you’re teeth.
      Jim Royle: I’ll pick what I want in me own house and when she gets her own house she can pick what she likes – her nose, her arse, her teeth. Just go and treat yourself.
      Barbara Royle: Oh, I’m ashamed of this family, I am really.
      Is this interesting? | Share this

  2. 3
    M­­aqb­­oul says:

    Bollox

  3. 5
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Let’s get fracking…..

    • 42
      Village idiot says:

      ……Fracking,…..I think the government should act quickly as “the Somerset Levels have become this country,s “New Orleans”!!!!….Get a grip and stop this descent to third world status!!

      • 48
        Priority #1 says:

        Still, with all our fellow citizens suffering devastation in their homes and livelihoods, it’s heartening to see another £100m given to Syrians instead.

        • 50
          HM Government says:

          With 0.7% of the nation’s wealth to piss away every year, we have to start somewhere.

          • Smarmy scumbag at the Despatch Box says:

            Yes, be proud of,your generosity

          • Dave from Witney says:

            “I am tremendously proud of the UK’s record in the field of foreign aid. Britons can be truly proud of their contribution and will no doubt feel a warm glow that it is the RIGHT thing to do as their local services are cut and they wade up to their waists in flood water in their homes. “

          • Jack Straw says:

            With ‘bongo economics’ there’s no upper limit to the amount of money which we can borrow to give away to hostile foreign powers to fund their ballistic missile programs.

        • 103
          Hergé says:

          Cheaper than going to war…we’d spend £100 million in about the couple of days of bombing and probably end up in being stuck there for years just like our other “successful” interventions…Iraq and Afghanitan at a cost in cash(ignoring the cost in blood)of ten time that sum

          • The British Public says:

            Syria is none of our business.

          • Psyche the Dog says:

            Just mention oil and everyone will make it their business

          • Anybody know? says:

            Is there a form of words that need to be said to make a citizen’s arrest? I would like to know so that if Blair were to be in this area, then I should be prepared to take the action. Others, too, might find it helpful.

          • Ma­qbo­ul says:

            @ “The British Public”

            If that is so, then Palestine is none of our business so why does not a moment go by without some fucker slagging off Israel and weeping over the plight of the arabs in Gaza?

    • 461
      an awkward bastard says:

      Dear Dave

      Now that you have been won around to the benefits of fracking will you please place on the internet all documents you have read on the subject so that we can follow your reasoning and judgement.

  4. 8

    {from previous thread}

    @Alice

    You suggested Surely consuming alcohol makes them non-Muslims, by definition

    That is clearly a non sequitur as Islam is a faith and drinking is an activity. The shahada is the Muslim creed which nowhere mentions alcohol. Therefore your claim that it is a valid definition is false. (As to form, I restructured it only moderately to make a potentially dull subject more fun.)

    @FFS

    Same applies. I said they were Muslims and they are. If the attribute of being Muslim magically disappears when their bodies contain alcohol, then there would be less than half the Muslims there are in the world today. Did you know that many people have alcohol in their body naturally? Look up Endogenous Ethanol Production. Does that render them non-Muslims automatically? Of course not!

    • 23
      kmc says:

      “Did you know that many people have alcohol in their body naturally?”

      That’s just not fair!

    • 99
      GORDON BROWN (EX MP) says:

      Slight concern over the end dodgyness.

    • 142
      Inside the mind of the enemy says:

      ‘Verily, we must chop off their heads.’

    • 143
      Psyche the Dog says:

      Shhhh, Puss, Gideon will want to tax it!!!!!

      Moslems are not supposed to gamble but who go to the big cainos in Londonistan and elsewhere. All the major world religions tend to look down on gambling, boozing until incapable, smoking, drugs and othe vices and their adherents still do it, that is their choice, as long they do not adversely affect others, they are responsible for their actions.

    • 145
      FFS says:

      Logical fallacy of “Trivial Objections” otherwise known as splitting hairs.

      Alice specifically said the alcohol was consumed – not naturally occurring in the body.

      The shahada doesn’t define what you need to do to be a Muslim anymore than the Nicean creed defines what you need to do to be Christian. In fact the Nicean creed could be swapped with the shahada and you’d only notice the names had changed.

      Nice try but no cigar. Go to the back of your dialectics class and write out each of the logical fallacies ten times.

      • 166

        You appear to be one of these types who think that faith is sociologically defined by habits rather than theologically defined by beliefs.

        I tend to regard men who hanker after, or otherwise exploit, cigars as Clints.

        • 198
          FFS says:

          You only need faith to be religious. You need to follow the proscriptions of Islam to actually be a Muslim (rather than merely claiming to be a Muslim)

          Fallacy of Definition. You’ve done that twice now. Made the definition of what it is to be a Muslim so broad you could fit anybody in it.

          • Rich quoting Fallacy of Definition at me when you are flouting it yourself.

            The definition you provide is hopelessly over narrow. There won’t be any Muslims left the way you are going.

            Returning to Christian belief for a moment, in illustration, it contains the concept of forgiveness of sins. If id did not there would be no Christians either.

          • FFS says:

            On the contrary, it is logically possible to have a definition of a given religion which is so narrow that nobody can genuinely consider themselves a member of that religion. I don’t think that actually applies to Islam, although the bar is set significantly higher than Christiaity because like Judaism it is proscriptive by nature, whereas the New Covenant in Christianity is a piece of piss for the meek to follow at least.

            Consider the following sentence: “I am a Muslim and I love to drink alcohol”. There, you have it in writing: I am a Muslim. But the first part of the sentence is a lie, only the second is true. What about the “Muslims” that you met that drank alcohol? Is it logically possible that they were lying (possibly even to themselves) about being Muslim? Of course it is, and probably rather expedient for them to lie about it too.

            As we see in Britain and France, about 2/3rds of those that come from Muslim countries drop their religion once they move to these western countries. They often drink alcohol. We can therefore conclude that at least 2/3rds of people living in Muslim countries only claim to be Muslim, probably because it is expedient to do so.

            I find Alice’s original statement to be logically consistent. It’s rather important to conclude that because we can go on to consider the possibility that Islam oppresses the freedom of expression of hundreds of millions of people.

          • We can go on to any matter you wish (and we would probably have less difference upon your broader view) but before we do, I still maintain you are letting your sociological instincts overrule your philosophico-logical ones.

            In your first sentence, you appear to saying the same as what I think (unless there is a typo in there?) so I shall move onto the proscriptive point. I am wondering if we have a part conflation of Muslim and Islam here? You are talking of ḥalāl and ḥarām, parts of the dietary laws and in an area where theologians and jurists both form the class of scholars. But within the two main denominations there are numerous sects with a wide range of differences.

            I was in Morocco two months ago where they produce some wonderful wines. On the way back I sat next to a very interesting young lady who was from a family there but working for the London wine trade. See Quran, Surah 2 (al-Baqarah), ayah 219. In them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people… It is not always quite as clear cut as you might like to think, although I admit that alcohol is in the main prohibited.

            The Quran also states God is merciful and individuals can be forgiven of their sins if they repent. Islam recognizes major and minor sins. The former, Al-Kaba’ir, the Seven Sins, makes no mention at all of alcohol. So I come back to my contention that a minor transgression does not by definition (your words!) make a Muslim become a non-Muslim.

            Hijrah and Haj wipe off all past sins. There is no parallel to excommunication.

            I am not deliberately being awkward with you and have enjoyed our argument. But it seems sensible to take great care about using western analytical thought to examine Islam or any religion come to that. My fortune has been to experience all sorts of things around the world, some of which you may snort at.

            In Guinea I have friends who claim to be both Muslim and Christian at the same time (Al-Kaba’ir notwithstanding!). Often one parent is Muslim and the other is Christian. Even I looked askance at this claim to both, but these people really exist and in large numbers. In Brazil, I met people who worship Catholicism and pagan gods together. There are tens of millions like this there. Where are you going to put all these people in your analytical boxes? :-)

          • FFS says:

            Once again, splitting hairs.

            You didn’t mean to suggest that the Muslims you were drinking with were being led into sin by your presence and that therefore there alcohol habits could be extremely infrequent and therefore considered irrelevant. You intended to suggest they regularly drank alcohol. Therefore they regularly sinned against Islam. Therefore they could not be Muslims, because how can you logically claim to be a believer in a faith if you habitually ignore what that faith proscribes?

            The people you describe are Cultural Muslims – they are not observant and only consider themselves part of the religion through family ties for the purposes of hatch, match and despatch.

            I’m not interested, for the purposes of argument, in what people describe themselves as. I’m am interested in how they actually are. Furthermore, I am not interested in putting people in boxes – quite the reverse, I’m more interested in why people put themselves in boxes in which they don’t belong. As a priest once said to me “Thank God for Atheism. It gives the miserable sinners somewhere to call home”.

          • My original remark was addressed to x on the previous page and I reproduce it in full: I drink beer or wine with many Muslims and agree totally with what you say.

            He said inter alia: The situation is not helped by bleeding heart lefties who make things ten times worse by pandering to all their demands.

            Alice said: Surely consuming alcohol makes them non-Muslims, by definition.

            Logic chopping, what you are accusing me of, is its own antonym. I remarked on this here only recently. You wish to use it in the sense that I am arguing improperly, I am defending myself on the basis that I am arguing properly using statements which are correct.

            You have assumed you know what I meant and now we discover you were mistaken all along. Where did the word regularly creep in? With you, not me! I have drunk with different people at different times. Not the same people regularly. Therefore you have distorted my argument and built a whole unnecessary edifice on foundations of sand.

            It is good of you to define these people for them. The term Cultural Muslim is not itself universally accepted. Wonder how they might classify you?

            I’m am interested in how they actually are. Furthermore, I am not interested in putting people in boxes – quite the reverse… From this point and onwards, I am in complete agreement with you.

          • FFS says:

            If I have misunderstood then please do clarify.

            Are you saying that these Muslims were regular drinkers (with you or without you present), or are you saying that they likely only drank once, in your presence?

            You might want to think at least one step ahead before answering that question ;-)

          • You are the one called FFS.

            It is painfully carefully recorded here. For the most part I only saw these people once. You have created alternatives of which I cannot answer to either.

            It must be all these multiple choice questions which they give the kids nowadays. Closed choices – closed minds.

            Anyway, as I said further down, I’m off to the village for some grub.

          • FFS says:

            So basically you saw these people once, have assumed they were Muslim, but saw them drink alcohol only once. So at least we have established that your personal experience of them is not really useful to us.

            So that really leaves us with the comment that Alice made in the first place: “Surely consuming alcohol makes them non-Muslims, by definition”.

            You appear to be claiming that merely stating you are a Muslims makes you a Muslim, or perhaps merely being in the right place at the right time makes you a Muslim.

            I would dispute that, and for good reason. I see the likes of Richard Dawkins making the same logical error all the time: “Look at the Spanish Inquisition! They tortured and murdered! Christianity is evil I tell you!” I would point out that torture and murder are specifically outlawed in Christianity by the Ten Commandments, so the fact that they claimed they were acting as Christians does not mean they actually were. I would say they were acting inspite of Christianity (and likely most had never read the New Testament).

            It is not enough to simply claim you are part of a religion. I could claim I am a member of the Garrick Club but I am not. If behaviour flies in the face of a stated belief we must consider that the claim being made is likely false.

          • Object to your cavalier use of the designation us. On whose other behalf do you purport to represent?

            I saw most once or twice. Not with every person mentioned did we drink alcohol each time. With at least one we did not drink alcohol at all but he told me he had drunk it before. I suppose, to keep things nice for your sensibilities, he might have been lying – how the hell should I know? I do not accept your border guard approach. I am talking of between two and three dozen people in all. They either told me they were Muslim or, with a name like Mohamed, Ibrahim, Ibrahima, Amir, Mustafa etc., I suppose I kinda guessed it.

            May I remind you that you are the one who said I’m am interested in how they actually are. Presumably that is only sometimes?

            You accuse me of logic chopping and then come out with this. I have to acknowledge you do have considerable chutzpah. The more so having branded millions of people as Cultural Muslims.

            I have no quarrel to pick with you on the Dawkins issue so we can put that away.

            Your Garrick club point is simply not relevant here and smacks of positivism. Given that most religious adherents are indoctrinated by their parents in any religion, at what exact point do they cease being proselytised and attain adherent status? No doubt you will tell me because, as sure as fuck, I do not know.

            You had better give me a theory of religious adherence and then we can recalibrate this whole thing, assuming I can live with it.

            Given that you have gone suspiciously quiet on my Quran specifics, I imagine you understandably find yourself in difficulties here as well.

        • 213
          Ailurophile says:

          Christians forgive sinners. Muslims murder them. Simples.

        • 416
          Thank you says:

          I so enjoy your posts, cat.

    • 344
      Bashar al-Assad says:

      Alawites, who regard themselves as Muslim, drink alcohol.

  5. 9
    nell says:

    http://news.sky.com/story/1200707/balls-commits-to-balancing-the-nations-books

    ++++Laugh++++ edballs is practising to become a comedian!

    • 15

      Dracula promises to look after blood bank properly this time.

      • 32
        Dreaming of the new Liebour world says:

        We have learn’t our lessons and blamed the lazy people and the bankers and the rest of the world but we were still found out, the next time we will make sure we never get caught, as we will make sure anything bad we do or happens never gets reported, we will bring back ID cards, make sure everybody does postal voting and a crowd of two people will be considered a political mob and plod will be used to break the mob up, internet ISPs will have local blocking of any political data blaming Liebour or naming Liebour in way, we will restart the 4am knock on the doors by plod which was a feature of our 13year reign of terror, all other political parties will be banned especially UKIP but our affiliated parties , Camorons Conservatives and the Libcrap will be allowed.

        • 66
          Ed Balls (age 7) says:

          I’ll be good next time so please let me have the keys to the sweet shop again.

          • Ian Huntley says:

            I’ve learnt my lesson too. Can you let me out of prison and have my old job back cleaning the school?

      • 172
        Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

        Herr Hitler committed to a fair inclusive society for all, including Je­ws, gy­psies, ho­mosexualists and darkies.

    • 25
      kmc says:

      I’m curious about this one..

      “New laws introducing tough fiscal rules would be introduced during the party’s first year in power”

      He’s going to spend the first year creating new laws to prevent himself from spending too much in the subsequent four years?

      Eh? Why doesn’t he just “not spend too much” from the outset? Why does he need laws to stop himself from doing things he says he isn’t going to do anyway?

      He’s a weirdo.

      • 113

        It was done by Balls before.

        Brown’s Golden Rule was The Government will borrow only to invest, not to fund current spending, over the economic cycle.

        He broke it before he started by backdating the reference frame, before starting, to when the previous government was in power producing a healthy surplus for him to squander.

        We all know that what he termed investment was actually pissing the money up against the wall whilst attempting to play windmills with his hose. NHS wages and compliance officers were some of the multitudinous things counted as investment.

        The economic cycle was extended to infinity as all the wheels started to come off. If it had been a pedal cycle, the frame’s top tube would have been one thousand miles high, rendering it impossible to get one’s leg over.

        • 136
          Bilda Berger says:

          You could rephrase that last bit.

        • 280
          Ed Bum with Miliband junior says:

          We stop talking about so after one year you can’t hold us to it. Similarly our web site has been updated and shows no reference to it.

    • 30
      Tax is theft says:

      Crack addict says ‘I’m giving up, straight after the next fix’

    • 70
      Ed Hollandiband says:

  6. 10
    Prime Minister Comrade David Cameron says:

    I think dislike of Socialism is a mental illness and I call upon the NHS to make more beds available to treat it.

    • 118
      The voice of Sanity says:

      There are some very suitable beds reserved for CP nutters like you – they’re slimy, wet and six feet deep.

  7. 13
    Ed Balls says:

    At 10.30 hours this morning I shall be making a speech which will rattle the Conservative led coalition.

    • 16
      Joss Taskin says:

      Is this Plan ‘C’ ??

    • 17
      Ed Balls is Sweetmeat says:

      Rattle with mirth Ed.

    • 19
      Quithling Ed Miliband says:

      At 10:31 I will make a thpectacle of mythelf.

    • 20
      Ed talking bollox lies lies lies says:

      “The next Labour government will balance the books and deliver a surplus on the current budget and falling national debt in the next Parliament.

      “So my message to my party and the country is this: where this government has failed, we will finish the job.

      Hahahahaha

      • 28
        Ex Long Term Tory Supporter --now UKIP says:

        2010 Conservative Manifesto — the bulk of the Deficit is to be eliminated by 2015.

        The same fucking bollux — from Camoron & Co.

        the LibLabConners are all the same — TRAITOROUS LIARS

        • 33
          Anonymous says:

          Indeed they did say that but did you miss te bit where the deficit was far greater than anyone admitted in particular Labour.

          They are not the same because no party is going to make themselves unpopular for no good reason. Labour just spent sent and spent ball our inheritances to stay popular.

          • Tax is theft says:

            So, on finding out how bad things were, they decided not to solve the problem and just run up ever more debts.

          • Anonymous says:

            You don’t get it do you. Its a weaning process personally I’d shut the whole lot down but people like you would just shout the house down. There were so many non jobs in the public sector and taking benefits it was frightening. The balance changes slowly but it is changing

            What would you do then? Come on tell us your pearls of wisdom

          • A short list says:

            Cut foreign aid. Leave the EU. Expel the 2 million illegals who have driven down wages and created unemployment so rents (and HB) will fall and more British workers can get in work and stop claiming benefits.

          • A short list says:

            Cut foreign aid. Leave the EU. Expel the 2 million illegals who have depressed wages and created unemployment so rents (and HB) will fall and more British workers can get in work and stop claiming benefits.

          • Screwed Taxpayer says:

            Dave’s had nearly four fucking years. He hasn’t cut the Deficit anything like the amount promised. He can’t just carry on blaming Gorgon & Co. The current level of Deficit is his fault.

          • Psyche the Dog says:

            Of course he will, there does seem an upturn in the economy “but still very weak” first 3 months off the floor growth, but Dave has got his glory follies all lined up with HS2 and other such projects, he does not seem to say where the money is coming from, HS2 already estimated to cost £40Billion the true figure would be more like £80Biliion when and if finished.

        • 111
          Dave from Witney says:

          BUT Nick won’t let me be a Tory

        • 337
          Mr Nobody says:

          Vote Tory where they have a chance of winning a seat, vote Ukip where they are better placed to beat Labour. Hell, if it’s a Lib/Lab seat then vote Lib Dem. Needs must and all that…

      • 85
        The most amusing claim ever says:

        “…….we will finish the job.”….of bankrupting the country that we started ??

    • 38
      Piss Artistes against the Conservative led coalition says:

      Go Ed Go !

    • 56

      Dear Doctor Shipman.

      Please come back and treat our patients in Hyde. We are convinced you will do it so much better now.

      Yours

      Ed Balls.

    • 206
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Ed’s speech will be to the Fabian society – enough said.

  8. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Here we go again.—

    “The next Labour government will balance the books and deliver a surplus on the current budget and falling national debt in the next Parliament.

    “So my message to my party and the country is this: where this government has failed, we will finish the job.”

    Sky

    That’s Ed Balls. The Ed Balls who advised the country under Brown into this poistion in the first place. The audacity of the man and the left to even comment on the economy is breathtaking and it has taken quite a while to slow down Labours runaway train . Just before Labour were thrown out they made last minute changes akin to jamming the throttle open and smashing the brake handle before jumping off the train. They wanted the train in the buffers driven for the last mile by whoever followed them

    Liars they should never be allowed back

  9. 24
    Ed Bullshit says:

    We’ll balance the books – for the time it takes between finding out there is some money in the account and opening our next credit card bill.

    • 97
      The most amusing claim ever says:

      Apparently times are tough….I listened to some woman being interviewed yesterday on BBC News Channel….”What have you found that you have had to cut back on because of the cuts ?” asked the BBC reporter. “Well,” said the woman “as a family we’ve had to cut back to just ONE holiday a year !”

    • 228
      Money in the wallet says:

      I weekly replace the money in my wallet I spent over the last few days with more from a cash machine.

      Does this count as balancing the books, eliminating the deficit, neither booming or busty, showing a binding fiscal commitment?

  10. 29
    Ed talking bollox lies lies lies says:

    I have just read a comment from a diehard leftie who appears to be saying that at least Brown started getting the deficit down by selling all the gold.

    There really are people that cannot be trusted with a vote.

    • 62

      He sold the gold at $300, the mаrket bottom, and then started to run the deficit up.

      For the avoidance of doubt, my use of the term mаrket bottom is meant to apply to the gold and not to Brown.

      • 68
        altruism in industry says:

        I thought he flogged the gold because he thought we were going to join the Euro and would have to hand the gold over ?

        • 78
          CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

          Nearly right he sold our gold to help prop up the Euro.
          For this action alone he deserves to be prosecuted ,although why the Bank of England allowed him to do it is another question.

          • Gordon McMental says:

            But those bits of paper are so much prettier than that boring metal stuff.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Indeed BB – Goldmans were ‘the chosen advisers’ to Broons Government. Broon did as he was advised to. If you follow the profit it’ll take you to New York and beyond.

            Another route to follow is of Britains ‘war loans’ – which were finally paid off a couple of years ago – but it was the interest upon interest which made someone millions if not billions over several decades.

          • cep says:

            Our war loans would have been paid off a lot earlier if the fucking French had paid us what we lent them.

            Fucking ungrateful c*nts..!

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            cep – try and think about how those war loans were engineered – basically I am trying to get you to look a bit deeper than you have been. Was there a huge financial gain to be made out of the war and if so who made the ‘big bucks’ in the ‘long run’?

            … Umm … just thought as I write …there’s an analogy in there about jumping over hurdles i.e. who won the biggest financial prize when crossing the line eventually and who were the losers – isn’t it kinda like showa business?

          • Le Sphinx says:

            Vous coulé nos cuirassés!

        • 189
          thrf67 says:

          Well no, he gave it to the ZioLoons instead.

  11. 31
    Tosser Dave says:

    We’ll never balance the books either — we just keep on spending as well

    • 34
      Anonymous says:

      I agree but given the damage labour did I’m not convinced our grandchildren will

      • 37
        PR China PLC says:

        Your grandchildren will be our slaves. They will have no say over what our govenment does or does not spend.

        • 43
          kmc says:

          Hey! That sounds just like.. now!

        • 44
          Tosser Dave says:

          Thank you for your kind offer.

          Can you send the U.K. more money now please? £10 BILLION per month to cover my Government’s Deficit would do nicely.

          We’ll start paying it back just as soon as the interest rates go up.

          Trust us. We’re LibLabConners.

    • 92
      The most amusing claim ever says:

      Cutting defence spending whilst increasing overseas aid is a sure fire vote winner in my estimation !!!

  12. 36
    Anonymous says:

    The problem is there are enough benefits st type people out there that will believe balls and put labour back in power to remain sucking on the public seat.

    • 52
      Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

      Most of these people can’t be arsed to vote. The only thing they are good for is their entitlement to a postal vote, which blank votes can be gathered like an annual harvest by those who patronise such people.

      • 67
        Boakk says:

        They’d be too drunk to see the ballot paper correctly….everyone on it has a chance of the tick.

      • 88
        The most amusing claim ever says:

        That why postal voting was introduced as it favours those people inclined to vote Labour but can’t be arsed to go to poling stations…it’s the same rationale for supplying transport on polling day

    • 220
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Those people out there (The Benefits St types) are sadly the end ‘product’ of the 13 years reign of terror of deliberate dumbing down to make a whole generation ‘dependent upon the state teat’ but surreptitiously to make them vote for their continuing dependence – in numbers such that that state of affairs would continue. That ruse by the New Labour Projectmen and women ended in 2010.

  13. 40
    Michael Gove says:

    We are looking into getting the Afghan president Hamid Karzai, to come into our schools and spread the anti-drugs message.

    • 48
      Proceeds of Crime says:

      Arrest the gangster and sieze all his assets.

      • 59
        Tessa Jowell says:

        Proceeds of crime ? Me and my Hubby seem to have gotten away with it. I’m now fetted by SKY TV who ask me on all the time.

        • 297
          Peg Leg Handycock says:

          I hope Sky will invite me on as I have been getting away with it much longer thgan you Tessa.

          http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/politics/hancock-keeps-his-role-on-city-council-cabinet-1-5832940

          As you can see me and my boys still run portsmouth although i do not belong to any political party. I will keep bringing the asylum seekers in and fixing the planning permissions for my boys to house them, launder their drug profits and make millions at the same time. The libDems have made a big mistake cutting me out, now all the money will be coming to me – another villa in Spain perhaps. My boys and I, the Chief Executive and Leader of the City Council, Senior Portsmouth police officers are all in the same Lodge you know so things down here will continue just as they have; just like Chicago in the 1930. Boaz.

          • Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

            Don’t forget to tell your boys I want a villa in Spain Handy. Jahbulon.

    • 53
      Mother Nature says:

      I’ve told you before. Legalise all drugs. Let the silly fuckers poison themselves with them if they want to. Stop all the associated crime instantly. End of problem.

      • 60
        Prime Minister David Cameron says:

        I would like a 2 year prison sentence for possession of sugar with intent to supply

      • 77
        Long John Silver's parrot says:

        Give mandatory six month sentences for possession of illegal drugs suspended for 10 years.

        Perhaps this would be an interesting deterrent .

        • 79
          Phil from Pentonville says:

          We have got Hal ah Chicken burgers on the menu tonight together with multiple choice/faith breakfasts.

          I tell you some people couldn’t arrange a knock up in a brothel.

          • E Wing says:

            Thanks Phil. We’ll pop over to the dining room when we’ve finished this game of pool. Can you take some more pistachio icecream out of the freezer? Some of us had to make do with vanilla and maple syrup last night.

        • 141
          Bilda Berger says:

          The quickest way to win the war on drugs would be to execute junkies. Kill the market and you kill the trade.

          • FFS says:

            The quickest way to win the war on drugs would be to resurrect Elliot Ness and get the corrupt police out of our cities. Our police are the ONLY people in the country that CAN’T find drugs.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            FFS – What could Daniel Morgan have been about to expose before he met his untimely with an axe to his head in a pub car park some years ago … and doesn’t the silence on the whole murky matter speak volumes of some sort of huge cover up from the highest of the high?

          • FFS says:

            Well I’m not sure we can really say there was a cover-up. The facts are more or less known. I think the case exposed the reality that the Met is riddled with drug-related corruption from top to bottom and that some members of the police may be capable of commiting murder to cover it up.

            However, nothing has been done about it, by this government or the previous.

            The Met has always been like that.

      • 90
        CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

        Who is going to sell them the drugs , Tesco? ,how will it stop all associated crime the scum won’t work either way , have you not seen them getting their ‘ free ‘ methadone paid for by you ?

  14. 54
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Shadow chancellor Ed Balls is promising to balance the nation’s books, run a budget surplus and cut the national debt whenLabour win power from this damn useless Conservative led coalition

  15. 61
    Bollux Admirer says:

    Well done Shadow Chancellor — spoken like a true Camoronite

  16. 63
    David Cameron says:

    We have reduced the deficit by doubling the national debt. Clever – what?

  17. 65
    Squidger says:

    Forthcoming Tiddlywinks tournaments:

    Cambridge Open, 1-2 Feb 2014: the Chadwick Room, Selwyn College, Cambridge.
    National Pairs, 26-27 Apr 2014: the Chadwick room, Selwyn College, Cambridge.
    Jubilee Trophy and Golden Squidger (ETwA Singles and Pairs challenge trophies, respectively)

    Courtesy of the organ Winking World

    • 86
      Ed Balls MP says:

      Winking World? Sounds right up my street.

    • 89
      Dave the Pink says:

      Can I come? I like twinks too you know.

      I even legislated so that the boys can “marry” each other — at least that’s what you can call a fully blown bumsex relationship nowadays in LibLabConnerland.

      • 134
        Jack Dromey says:

        I wanted to look at TWIX online! Honestly! TWINK was just a typing error.

        “Dark, caramel XL Twinks”

        • 138
          The Gay Mafia - Fedoras with a pink band says:

          If you want a different snack, Jack,type into google ‘Big brown Double Deckers’

  18. 69
    Ian Smith says:

    Universal Credit will be delivered on time and on budget. I may now be the only person who believes this.

  19. 71
    A waste says:

    Turned the news on…..same every day, Islamic savages killing people in Africa and the Middle East.
    How much of our money is the Government sending today to help?

  20. 72
    Ippikin says:

    Balls ance the books by 2020 – what utter Ballsderdash!

  21. 75
  22. 81
    Ah! speechless says:

    Harriett claims £10 for drawing pins.

  23. 87
    Liberal and tolerant Millwall bear pit fans says:

    Has Harman and the sisterhood said anything about this yet?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-25885766

    The court heard during the attack in the town centre, one of the sisters told Nazma’s partner: “You’ve messed with the wrong Muslims, we’re going to kill you.”

    She prevented herself from being dragged into the car by holding on to the side of the vehicle.

    Det Sgt Mark Haworth-Oates said: “This has been a particularly difficulty case for the victim and her partner given the familial link.

    “The family clearly worked together to plan this despicable offence that was guided by their feelings of misguided honour.”

    Muslims against Lesbians. Who delivers more votes for Labour?

    • 96
      The British Public says:

      Deport the lot of them.

    • 100
      Confused Harperson says:

      What am I going to do? Support the mozzies or the lezzies?

    • 121
      Omnipotent BBC says:

      Apparently muzoe’s are going out to fight for their own in Sy rea because they are disenfranchised, and marginalized and ghettoised and discriminated and so on and so forth, oh and the ‘cuts’ have made things worse for them, well that is according to some muslem chappie that was on the toady prog this morning.

      And as you can guess none of this BS was challenged by beboid, rather more like agreed with.

      I can’t help wondering why they want to come back to such a place.

    • 369
      White rabbit says:

      Till we have built Jerusalem,
      In England’s green & pleasant Land

  24. 91
    Ah! don't believe it says:

    Stephen Hawking stuns physicists by declaring ‘there are no black holes… but there are GREY ones’

    Someone better tell Diane.

  25. 114
    Anon. says:
    • 122
      My noble lords THIS decision is just TOO important to leave to the ill-informed British people says:

      This country will NEVER get a referendum on EU membership and THAT’s one promise the LibDems and Labour will definitely honour

      • 130
        Bill Quango MP says:

        Nonsense! The British public will be guaranteed a referendum on EU membership.
        Just as soon as they understand they must vote YES, they can have a vote.

      • 135
        Bulldoze the lords into the ground says:

        Strikes me that the argument the EU is too complex to let the ghastly plebs decide, is the first step towards getting rid of elections altogether.

        After all, if we’re too thick to understand just one issue, how can we possibly be expected to vote at a general election, where there is not one, but a whole host of equally complex issues to decide?

        • 160
          The Tower says:

          The answer is simple. Arrest the traiitors.

        • 188
          Village Idiot says:

          ….No referendum required,just exit,or are we ruled by the eu or the british parliament?…..(I know the answer!)
          ….As for the House of Lords,my god,they care less about Britain and adore Europe,..i wonder why?
          ….What a joke British democracy has become!….An expensive joke given our house of lords,who treat the electorate with such contempt!
          ……Still,the more they bluster,the more people can see through their motives!
          .. you would have thought that having been given a lordship,that they would defend Britain to their dying breath,but,oh no!!!!…..(self serving weasels)

        • 193
          The International Fabians Society says:

          Haven’t you noticed that it doesn’t really matter how people voite, the outcome is more or less the same?

          All over Europe people vote, and yet you never get a radical change of direction from any of these newly elected governments.

          Worked out what’s going on yet?

      • 253
        Lance Boyle says:

        Tonight is Burns Night and I’ll wager those two fat, odious bastards, Lords Gorbals Mick and Foulkes, will be at some fancy do strutting their stuff. They’ll be nodding sagaciously and preening themselves at Burns’ words in the Immortal Memory, imagining some of the stardust has fallen on them. The irony: this pair has totally shafted the working class that put them on Labour’s greasy pole in the first place. Burns would be mortified. I can picture the pair stuffing themselves on whisky-soaked haggis then quaffing brandy and puffing cigars (no pleb no-smoking rules for them). Mick will then try to impress the assembly with a bagpipe tune (no gracenotes of course) then, suitably inebriated, the pair will be whisked home in a taxpayer-funded taxi. Burns summed them up exactly:

        Ye see yon birkie, ca’d a lord,
        Wha struts, an’ stares, an’ a’ that;
        Tho’ hundreds worship at his word,
        He’s but a coof for a’ that:
        For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
        His ribband, star, an’ a’ that:
        The man o’ independent mind
        He looks an’ laughs at a’ that

        Enjoy yourselves you fucking hypocrites.

        • 286
          CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

          Would some power the gift t’ gi ‘us
          To see ourselves as others see us
          It would from many a blunder free us
          And foolish notions

    • 497
      SPIKEY JOE'S SCRAP YARD says:

      WRONG Thirty years ago people voted on membership of a common market !

      Nobody in this country has EVER been given a vote on E U membership You Wanker

  26. 125
    Dreaming of the new Liebour world says:

    So Ed the Bollocks is going to take his endogenous growth theories into law, all laws usually have a penalty attached to them in the event of failure, so is Ed Bollocks going to have a real penalty or a Liebour penalty, the Liebour penalty is an easier option, Liebour pay vast amounts of tax payers money for failure and lessons as usual will be learn’t.

  27. 127
    FrankFisher says:

    Just a word to anyone here who lives ooop North and fancies spending a weekend scaring the living shit out of LibLabCon, UKIP has a weekend of action planned in Wythenshawe and Sale, all volunteers welcome to assist with canvassing, leafleting etc. Just get yourselves along to the pop-up HQ at 84 School Rd, Sale, in the precinct, and they’ll give you some work to to. Even if you can just spare an hour or too, you will be given something useful to do.

    This was winnable yesterday morning; after the referendum collapse it’s twice as winnable now. Be part of it eh, lads and lasses?

    • 150
      Bilda Berger says:

      Frank, you used to post here a lot — we miss your torrents of funny and literate bile, so please return to the fold forthwith!

      • 162
        Patriot says:

        It looks to me like he is busy doing something about the shit this country has got itself into instead of just complaining in a congenial echo chamber. Good man.

        • 247
          FrankFisher says:

          That’s pretty much exactly it Patriot. I’m secretary of the local UKIP branch, working on their websites and communications too, plus holding down a job and looking after family… Dont have as much time for ranting as I used to.

          So, if anyone else can help…..? C’mon fellers, this is our country we’re talking about, get out on the streets, stop umming and arring, just bloody DO IT.

      • 173
        Persona non grata says:

        I’m hoping UKIP clean up, and get their first MP. One small step in getting our democracy back. Good luck to you Frank, and go UKIP.

    • 176
      Jack Ketch says:

      I would love to come and help. Trouble is, I am unemployed and skint and you are 120 miles away. Please send me an invitation to attend an interview for a job and I can claim the travel and overnight expense from the DHSS.

    • 240
      My noble lords THIS decision is just TOO important to leave to the ill-informed British people says:

      Democracy is NOT for the “little people”

    • 491
      Jimmy says:

      “UKIP has a weekend of action planned”

      Is that wise at your age?

  28. 132
    Just wondrin says:

    If Virgins and heaven is so attractive, why don’t all mu5lims commit mass suicide and get there early? Why wait on this miserable earth?

  29. 140
    Full of balls says:

    Balls promising he’ll deliver a budget surplus by 2020 is rather like a serial killer asking to be released from prison by promising he won’t kill again.

  30. 146
    TALKING BALLS says:

    When it comes to talking bollocks , i’m a natural

  31. 148
    Pick litter for bennies says:

    2 mins into Ed Balls speech,can,t take any more.Lies,dam lies and Ed Balls.

    • 159
      albacore says:

      If clever Ed Balls can balance the books
      (Anyway, that’s what he reckons, me ducks)
      Let’s not be too selfish and keep him here
      The E U needs him – for years that’s been clear

      • 168
        British Citizen says:

        The only way Ed Balls would balance the books is by cooking them and repeating the PFI frauds. The man is a fucking crook.

  32. 149
    Beards aren't cheap says:

    Cut Brown some slack over his huge expenses. It’s not cheap to keep a beard on retainer.

  33. 154
    TALKING BALLS says:

    They have learn’t nothing , they still preach an economy paid for out of bankers bonuses

  34. 155
    Chichi and Chuka says:

    • 179
      Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

      What’s changed guys is that it is now full of plummy voiced middle class incomers like yourselves.

      • 195
        Any advance on Upper? says:

        I don’t think Chuks considers himself and his family as middle class. All the Trash these days say they are middle class.

        • 203
          Mornington Crescent says:

          Never confuse class with money.

        • 211
          altruism in industry says:

          There are just the 2 classes, those that sell their labor ( the slaves) and the ones they sell it to ( the slave masters ).
          A self sufficient agro community would of course be outside this arrangement.

  35. 156
    TALKING BALLS says:

    Why is this comment being moderated ? FFS

  36. 163
    Drummer Balls says:

    • 171
      The Bridge at Dandong says:

      Ed Balls visits North Korea and tells Kim Jong-Un how to improve his golf while stealing even more money from the public. The sychophantic Labour Party applaud.

  37. 164
    Anonymous says:

    HSBC the Bank that likes to f uck its customers around.

  38. 170
    Ah! wish I'd said that says:

    “Balls is fluent in bollocks”

  39. 175
    The British media are cunts says:

    No one bothers to ask Ed Balls why the 50p rate if tax wasn’t introduced by Labour until a few weeks before the last election and was in force for longer under the Tories.

  40. 178
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest man in politics says:

    If a man chooses to watch hard-core pr0n in his hotel room and bill the taxpayer on expenses, surely that’s his own private affair?

  41. 182
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Forward to 2020.
    Ed Balls – I never said I would deliver a surpluss.

  42. 192
    • 202
      Mornington Crescent says:

      A shallow, fly-by-night, socially useless ad-man who’s scared he will no longer be able to plonk his corporate base wherever he can get away with avoiding the most tax.

      Getting bored of the “yah, but we pay lots of NI” bollox. If you don’t like it here, Sorrell, feel free to fuck off.

      • 215

        Agree completely! Let’s face it, it is the Blair inversion of logic happening all over again.

        Given the likely flow of events, his present situation of being universally reviled will descend to a state where it will retrospectively appear we actually all loved the c’unt.

    • 208
      Hey ho what a nice day says:

      If they want to be told what they are already doing then that’s up to them, us plebs will vote decide at the Euro elections soon, lets see who’s keck’s turn brown first.

  43. 199
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    A Conservative led coalition would reintroduce the 50p top rate of income tax for those earning over £10,000, Chancellor George Osborne has said.

    Hear ! Hear !

    Vote Tory !

  44. 201
    Nick Clegg says:

    95% of my problems would be solved if i stopped over-thinking everything & calmed the fuck down & stopped being such an anxious little shit.

    • 238
      Patriot says:

      Even if only 1% our problems would be solved if you just fucked off, I would be happier. In fact, I’d be happier if none of my problems werfe solved by you fucking off.

  45. 204
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Tories campaign managers Jim”Know nothing” Messina, Lynton”The Bastard” Crosby start their “dirty tricks” with attacks on the sick>

    pic.twitter.com/p2VH1biAWA

  46. 212
    Dweeb says:

    Will someone tell that fukin awful rag the Daily Wail that stationers itemise things when they make up an invoice.

    They’re trying to make out that Dave sits at his desk all day personally writing out expenses claims for 7p paper clips. I know he’s a tosser but even he has better things to do. He probably never sees the fukin stationery order.

    Gullible Mail readers are outraged, which of course is the whole idea. Idiots.

    • 260
      Potts says:

      Yeah, I noticed that and the buggers seem to be zapping any posts that point out the reality. They really are a disgrace.

    • 434
      Dweeb says:

      6pm: I notice they have let in several hundred more comments, nearly all the childish “All in it together eh Dave?” type, while obviously binning anything that attempts to show the truth.

      I don’t care about Dave but I do care about fukin awful journalism.

  47. 216
    nell says:

    balls says ‘when he’s chancellor’ he’s going to introduce a 50p top rate tax.

    He hasn’t yet said what labour will do with this ‘windfall’ so wait for it!

    First it’ll be used to give every under five a nursery place for free then

    it’ll be used to create anothe 500,000 jobs in the public sector then

    it’ll be used to boost the benefits of all those poor folks who were forced into work by the tories and on and on

    I think the problem with labour economics is that they were never, as children, made to manage and save their pocket monies so teaching them some fiscal sense.

    • 237
      Gordo McMong says:

      Tractor production statistics are all that matter in a globalized world Nell, this year we have increased our production to 0% growth over all tractor types. This will mean an increased 0% growth in the turnip harvest as well so we can invest 51% of GDP in to schools and hospitals. The IMF and MFI are in total agreement and have given their full support saying in the Guardian only this week that “it’s the right thing to do”.
      I shall be returning to the house shortly to inform them on this and other matters.

  48. 217
    Persona non grata says:

    Military redundancy stats. http://tinyurl.com/o6o5t2z

  49. 223
    TALKING BALLSPIKEY JOE'S SCRAP YARD says:

    Can you hurry up and let the Ukraine join the EU !

    I’ve got 50,000 old tyres here that due to EU law i can’t get rid of
    If you let them join ,they’ll have burnt the fuckers in a week , and i’d pay e’m minimum wage to do it

  50. 224
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Hollande and Europe are turning the tide. Where will it leave Cameron?
    Labour’s alternative, burnished with new credibility from François Hollande’s victory message – “Austerity need not be Europe’s fate”. Cameron looks pinned in a corner.
    Labour gains from the triumph of the French Socialist leader with his intellectually cogent rallying cry for a new direction for Europe.

    Polly Toynbee
    The Guardian, Monday 7 May 2012

    She never tires of being 100% wrong. Since she decided the SDP was the future of British politics she’s been wrong. She must be some sort of Cooler?

    • 243
      Back to the Seventies says:

      She was wrong way before she decided to back the SDP.

    • 387
      FFS says:

      All of these people in the public eye have a personality disorder. They are never wrong. We are wrong, reality is wrong, the truth is wrong but they are SO superior they can never be wrong.

      Look at Chris Huhne. The fact that he was found guilty of crime and put in prison hasn’t even slowed the self-serving drivel coming out of his mouth.

      They consider themselves superior to their fellow man, the law and even to God himself.

      Only people with this personality disorder would ever want to be politicians. Nobody else would put their private life and their family on the line like that. Politicians are filtered out stage by stage until only the arrogant nutters remain.

  51. 233
    Gordo McMong says:

    My farts smell of sugar puffs.

  52. 234
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  53. 235
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    If I say the phrase “The Tories are out of touch!” 3 times.. do I automatically get a place in the Labour shadow cabinet?

    • 244
      Gordo McMong says:

      Three times may not be the right thing to do Dave.
      This shows only a 0% growth on previous Labour shadow cabinet speakers and taking into account the bedroom tax and deducting the cost of living crisis the phrase would have to be said at lease four times to obtain the desired result in this new age of austerity.

      • 251
        retardEd Miliband says:

        I believe the formula ith ath followth:

        (Bedwoom tax multiplied by cotht of living cwithith pluth (food bankth ^ 2) divided by authtewity) multiplied by 35 perthent of One Nay-thion minuth the money we'll loose by incweathing the top rate of tax to 50 perthent = X

        Where X ith the number of timeth you have to thay “Evil Towieth eat babieth” and then you get to thit in my thadow cabinet.

        (Cotht of living criwthith.)

    • 250
      Joe Public II says:

      You’re already in the LibCon Cabinet duckie, what difference would it make you being in a Liebour one?

      Fuck all.

  54. 236
  55. 241
    Mad Frankie Maude says:

    The only sensible economic plan is to nationalise as much of the economy as possible.

  56. 248
    Yet another Lib-Dem perv? says:

    Oh no, now Lemsip Optic has been at it too!

    http://tinyurl.com/qe5a22h

  57. 254
    Pete from Northampton says:

    This man is Pete from Northampton also known as Eachway/EW.

    He is an unemployed mop salesman.

    He is care in the community and when he doesn’t have medication is very violent and dangerous.

    If seen don’t approach but call the police.

    http://i56.servimg.com/u/f56/17/40/55/29/38-615.jpg

  58. 261
    Anon. says:
  59. 262
    Bill Quango MP says:

    BBC seem to be having some trouble pointing out Ed Balls’ magic 50% problem solving tax was only in operation for a few months of the labour terror.

    Here. Maybe I can help you, Miss perky Beeboid Interviewer.

    1. let Blinky stammer on about growth and recession and the poorest.
    Then

    2. Ask him when did Labour introduce the 50% tax rate?
    And as he evades that question give him a Paxo.

    Was it 1997?

    erm ..well the ..

    1998?

    .. the important issue is that tax rates..

    1999?

    ..issue is that tax rates represent the predistribution of..

    Was it 2000? the Millennium? Was that when the rate came in?

    ..well..I think that a 50% tax rate..

    Maybe it was 2001? or 2002?

    ..Look ..as I said we introduced..

    2003?

    ..in…in..in..introduced a top rate of banker tax to ..to ..make.. to millionaires

    2004?

    ..a.aa..and predator stockbrokers and millionaire doctors..

    2005?

    STOP IT!

    2006?

    STOP SAYING NUMBERS!

    2007? You were at the Treasury then weren’t you? Do you remember a tax rise? Apart from Labour’s 10p tax rise on the very lowest earners.

    ..Right…This interview is over…

    2008?

    ..I’m not staying ..t.t..t..to be insulted in this ..disgraceful Crick fashion…

    Ok..Mr Balls.. i’m sorry.. Please sit down… We’ll start again, Ok.

    -{big sigh..wipes sweaty face} — Ok ..

    Ok..Good ..ready? In 2009 and all the years before that there had never been a 50p tax rate had there? When did it come into force? 2010?

    ..AHHHh…[stomps down corridor}

    - Mr Balls? maybe it was 2011 that it came into effect? After Labour left office? Was it , Mr Balls? mr Balls? … Mr Balls?

    {Face camera .. big smile}

    We appear to be having some technical difficulties. Here’s Sarah Keith-Lucas with the weather.

    • 279
      Anon says:

      The other pertinent point, of course, is that tax revenue fell when the 50pc rate came in. So, Ed Balls has effectively said, today, that the first step in his plan to reduce the deficit to £0 is to reduce tax revenue.

      Whatever spending cuts he’s going to make will have to be huge. What’s going to go? The NHS? State education? I think he ought to tell us.

    • 291

      I wonder if Balls could present his view in an anatomical way rather than solely in discussion. BBC would provide him with a sword and a bucket of pitch. The audience would include Len McCluskey and other luminaries of the thinking left. Then he could illustrate how it is better to make a statement which appeals to his implacables, rather than making financial sense.

      As an illustration of how this might work:

      {studio lights to 50% – twin spots on Balls.}

      Balls: Well thank you. This is how I see my tax changes working.

      {picks up sword in right hand and cuts his left arm off at the shoulder – puts sword down on table and picks up handful of pitch and slaps it onto spurting wound.}

      *Tumultuous applause from studio audience*

      Balls: Thank you very much, but I will not stop there.

      {picks up sword again and cuts off right leg, right beneath groin – picks up another handful of pitch and slaps it onto spurting wound – hops back to table for sword which he picks up in his remaining right hand.}

      *More tumultuous applause from studio audience – Bob Crow actually smiling faintly – No, maybe it was just the light.*

      Balls: A Labour government can never stop and I will not let it!

      {unsteady, hopping slightly for balance – realises that he cannot cut his right arm off with the sword held in it at the same time.}

      Balls: I wonder if I could have some help from someone in the audience…

  60. 263
    Cinderella says:

    Help,someone get him off me!

  61. 265
    Michael Gove says:

    Our children MUST learn and sing the EU anthem everyday in our schools.

    • 373
      Jack Ketch says:

      Freude trinken alle Wesen
      An den Brüsten der Natur;
      Alle Guten, alle Bösen
      Folgen ihrer Rosenspur.
      Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,
      Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;
      Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben

      Sucking at breasts, little worms—-That’s a bit Lib-Dem isn’t it?

  62. 266
    Ed Balls says:

    Is a squillion eleventeen times a zillion? I need the answer to write Labour’s economic manifesto.

  63. 268
    Gordo McMong says:

  64. 270
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    LibDems a party of perverts

    Thorpe-pillow biting
    Cyril Smith- young boys
    Paddy Pants Down
    Simon Hughes – pathological liar about his sexuality
    Charles Kennedy -drunk
    Mark Oaten -don’t go there
    Lembit Opik -school girls
    Chris Huhne -pathological liar with crabs
    Mike Hancock -all round pervert
    Clegg -the new definition of political treachery
    Lord Reynard – another all round pervert

    This is an incredible number of perverts for a tiny political part

  65. 271
    Mike Hancock says:

    Please give me one more night
    Give me just one more night
    Oh one more night

  66. 272
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Seen Elsewhere:
    Read the Speccie article on Doug Carswell.

    Then read the comments by Paul Oxley

    Then weep.

  67. 275
    Mike Hancock says:

    I’m justified
    And I’m ancient
    And I ride an ice cream van

  68. 276
    Male Tory MP says:

    I just finished making a speech about how gays are disgusting. I’m now going to the toilet. *wink*

  69. 277
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:
    • 281
      50%? If only! says:

      Don’t forget National Insurance tax plus employers’ National Insurance Tax, plus VAT..

    • 300
      ED Balls says:

      Under Labour White D would pay no tax and the state would pay to keep her and her family in respectful addiction to the state.

      At the time we will take away by force of law half if what a wealth creator and hard worker makes.

      That’s fair isn’t it?

      We will of course turn a blind eye to celebrities and sportsmen avoiding our wealth tax.

    • 318
      Luke Gorgeus says:

      Is that thing related to Jabba the Hutt ?

    • 329
      June Shannon-Thompson, Honey Boo Boo's mom, says:

      Lease ah’m meanin’ t’ be, when ah look reedickolous– no matter whut they tell yuh!

      (And T May can go stick her Yankee Go Home whar the sun don’t shine– ah’m a Rebel anyway, toots!)

  70. 284
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:
  71. 285
    Anonymous says:

    Tell me. Do Balls and Cooper still both claim for the same pair of houses on their expenses, or have they got two each now ?

  72. 287
    Anonymous says:

    Labour will balance the UK’s books and deliver a budget surplus in the next Parliament if it wins the 2015 election, Ed Balls has said.

    Youv’e gotta laugh. Hes a bigger comedian than Gordon Brown.

  73. 290
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Trying again….

    In the ‘Seen Elsewhere’:
    Read the Speccie article on Doug Carswell.

    Then read the comments

    Then weep.

  74. 293
    The Evil Empire looks to Expand says:

    The EU’s Enlargement Commissioner, Stefan Fuele, held separate talks in Kiev with the president and opposition leaders on Friday.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25894296

    With a Job Title “EU Enlargement Commissioner” which sounds like a throw back to the soviet era, he can only have one objective.

    Time for Putin to give Brussels a good kicking methinks.

    • 313
      Go suck yourself Stefan Fuele says:

      Is EU enlargement like Penis enlargement, in that it produces ever bigger dickheads?

      • 327
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        No – it is much more like child abuse as the commissioners are generally pederasts.

    • 326
      EU Watch says:

      All he needs to do is switch the gas off.

      Would prefer if Putin issued the Brussels kicking one UK has exited EU, and Belgium has been kicked out of NATO.

      If you catch the drift…

    • 331
      Dear Herman says:

      At what point does the EU consider the “enlargement officer” should be made redundant?

  75. 295
    Benny Street arrests! says:

    Cops have charged seven residents of Benefit Street with drug dealing and possession of ammunition!
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-25894192

    Any minute now, Jasmin Beckett will tweet: “I actually cried when I saw police have charged drug dealers from Benefit Street. I want all police dead.”

  76. 301
    Mike Hancock says:

    I’m all bound for Mu Mu Land.

  77. 303
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:
  78. 304
    A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Lib-Pervs Party says:

    Phwoar!

    Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap….
     
     

  79. 307
    ED Balls says:

    We will make it our number one priority to drive, Amazon, Vodafone and Google out of Britain and place a Black and a White Dee on every Street.

    One Nation Labour.

    • 308
      ED Balls says:

      We will make it our number one priority to dr1ve, Amazon, Vodafone and Google out of Britain and place a Black and a White Dee on every Street.

      One Nation Labour.

      • 349
        Vote for Labour and let them finish the job says:

        Correct…it worked in the 1970′s when top rate tax was an eye-watering 98%….and for those old enough to remember there was what the media called a “Brain-Drain” to USA and overseas as the entrepreneurs and profitable private businesses queued up to leave Britain and how did it ALL end ? See the link below

        http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/cabinetpapers/themes/sterling-devalued-imf-loan.htm

        • 357
          CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

          Who now remembers the ‘ selective employment tax ‘ , a brainwave of Labour during the 1960s and ‘ 70s , a tax deliberately aimed at employers in the service industry to discourage them from taking on more workers.
          Probably the only time a government has deliberately cause unemployment through taxation !

        • 411
          Labour destroyers of worlds making the pips squeak says:

          I remember as my dad was in that situation and we were on our way to Oz

  80. 311
    Ah!m wondering says:

    Why is 50% fair and 45% not? Or any other %age fair or not?

  81. 314
    EXECRABLE ED BALLS says:
  82. 319
    The Tweeter who wished all CH4 producers dead says:
    • 335
      Lord Stansted says:

      wtf is Jasmin Beckett?

    • 355
      The most amusing claim ever says:

      I agree with you Jasmine…. it went almost pitch black at around 2pm to-day and the sky was filled with thunder and lightning and massive great hail stones fell from the sky…..I blame Cameron myself……

    • 374
      Jizz Buckett says:

      I literally thought the world was going to end.

      I literally thought it was caused by global warming.

      The world did not end but I’m still going to use my childish misguided belief that it was about to end to promote something else I know fuck all about.

    • 375
      Lard Rennet says:

      Glad you enjoyed it

    • 496
      JH3984902389032 says:

      I got the Viz annual for Christmas, sadly it is now running out of steam and aside from some inspired ‘top tips’ it is quite shite.

      However, time was it had superb satire of the modern left and the watermelon fellow travellers, particularly in ‘The Modern Parents’. Check out this superb lampooning of the modern green ‘movement’.

      Jasmin, you are a simple minded twat.

  83. 321
    EU Power Thoughts says:

    How much effort would it take to annexe B’elgium and convert it into a Muzzie version of I’srael for the UK enrichment ?

  84. 322
    White Dee says:

    Oh Bennies
    I came and I took without giving
    They’ll never take you from me
    Oh Bennies
    And you kept me and stopped me from working
    I need an iPad today
    Oh Bennies

  85. 325
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    Any rain up there, Nigel ?

  86. 328
    Tim Farton, President of the Cockroach Party says:
  87. 330
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Is your toothpaste, soap or aftershave halal? check here: http://bit.ly/17doTLv

  88. 332
    The Battle for political Headlines says:

    Are we to now have Saturdays ruined by Politicians’ speeches? No doubt Balls decided that Saturday was a politician free day and there was a vacancy to be filled. I hope the rest of the twats don’t get the same idea.

    • 334
      The Battle for political Headlines says:

      Are we to now have Satυrdays ruined by Politicians’ speeches? No doubt Balls decided that Satυrday was a politician free day and there was a vacancy to be filled. I hope the rest of the twats don’t get the same idea.

      • 345
        The most amusing claim ever says:

        Watched BBC News Channel earlier where a “beeboid” was interviewing somebody from CBI or Institute of Directors regarding Balls’ intention to raise income tax back to 50p for those earning over £150,000(or as the BBC likes to say-forgetting that most of them earn over this….the rich and millionaires). “let’s face it,” said the BBC man, “there is no proof that raising taxes costs jobs…it’s just scaremongering isn’t it ?” Surely the riposte should have been in french in answer to THAT one….

        • 403
          Lord Stansted says:

          The BBC loves the CBI – the employers’ trade union, as the beeboids put it. As a real business man (I don’t employ anyone – got to keep costs down) the CBI means fuck all to me.

          • Lord Stansted says:

            That’s supposed to be a comment to 336.

          • Small Business says:

            Agreed. The only guy I have ever met who’d had anything to do with the CBI was a total spaz who ran a vibrant and dynamic organisation into the ground in less than 18 months of taking over.

          • Fabians are EVIL says:

            The latest crazy plan from Balls was made to the Fabian Society who lapped up his deranged uttering – that they even invited the twat to speak to them should be a warning in itself of their true intent.

          • UKIP or bust says:

            It’s not only the Fabians who lapped his lies, the BBC have been lapping and swallowing it too.

          • Fabians are EVIL says:

            That’s because so many of the BBC bastards ARE Fabians

          • A Smackhead from Benefits Street says:

            I agree with you.

            I do not think the Police are doing nearly enough to tackle the problem.

          • CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

            Who in their right mind would waste his Saturday morning to go and listen to that twat speak , it takes a special kind of socialist anorak !

          • Balls echo chamber says:

            Brown?

      • 351
        Some good does come out of turning the telly offfff says:

        It’s easy, do what I did change channels, when the announcer mentions political crap, otherwise I turn the telly off, both save me smashing my own telly to pieces.

      • 392
        Owned Joan's says:

        Empty vassals make the most noise.

      • 458
        Politics is the new religion with its equivilance in extremists and fundamentalists says:

        its bad enough having them all over our TVs on Sundays minus their ties obviously.

    • 336
      My name is Joe you Twat says:
  89. 333
    UKIP or bust says:

    Why, every time Goofy Ed Millionairhead opens his big flappy gob, does the stinkin’ Socialist Brodcasting Company make it top of the news?

    Oh, I seem to have answered my own question.

  90. 338
    Mili Ed says:

    We brought in a 50p tax rate at the end of our last government Ed and we lost the election.

    Why are you repeating history?

  91. 341
    Centre Parting says:

    A Labour government would restore the 50p tax rate for those earning over £150,000, shadow chancellor Ed Balls says in a speech to the Fabian Society. 1222

    BBC News website -Look at the picture demonising the City.

    • 368
      ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

      Someone should tell Cameron & Nobsore that Denmark has always been one of the most entrepreneurial countries in the world despite having a top tax rate of 63%.

      They should also understand that business people do not “make” money, they only get it by taking it from other businesses and from consumers. That the rich pay so much tax is not because they have “created” their wealth, it is simply because over the last 30-odd years the benefits of growth have largely gone to the top 1%.

      • 385
        Benny Fitz-Clements says:

        Benefits ? Yes please :)

      • 469
        FFS says:

        Shall we also tell him the population is only 6million and that there are no black or asian people there, or are we going to take a complex set of differences between the two countries and cherry pick that single element that might support the dog poo that you write?

  92. 342
    RED LEN says:
  93. 350
    Dweeb says:

    Does anyone else think Black Dee is hot? I reckon she could be a right scorcher with a bit of a clean-up.

  94. 352
    TOP BBC COMMENT ON 50P STORY says:

    Have you noticed that the BBC has completely removed any links to its story earlier today about Balls’ pledge to balance the books by 2020 ?

    It’s not on the main page, or the UK page, or the politics page or even the “Have Your Page”.

    It’s as if the BBC has air-brushed it out of existence.

  95. 353
    RomaBob.... Buy Beeg Issue! says:

    I think the LimpDems are looking forward to getting themselves out of Government, not so much scrutiny of their sexual activities then…..

  96. 362
    UKIP voter says:

    I blame the thunder on gay marriage.

  97. 364
    Darwin23 says:

    There are also other excellent ways to raise revenue. For instance the Robin Hood Tax and ensuring that big business pays their fair share would contribute substantially to government revenue. We could also get rid of trident.

    With so many options on the table it is frankly obscene how the poor and most vulnerable have been forced to carry the burden

  98. 372
    In the interests of balance says:

    Finally somebody has the balls (no pun intended) to face-off against the Rich rather than punishing the unemployed and the working poor.

    Most economists say that despite the 2007 crash, the rich have not only been untouched financially, their wealth has significantly increased.

    Historically, this always happens after a major economic shock – the rich consolidate even more of the country’s wealth in their pockets.

    Personally I’d like to see more punitive measures directed at the people whose greed caused the Crash in the first place.

    Yes – this is a class war – and the 99% are losing at every turn

    • 381
      Labour Troll Programming HQ says:

      Your message has been audited and found deficient. You have not mentioned cost of living, thatcher or one nation.
      Please immediately shut down communications outlets and systems and report to Labour central office for reprogramming.

  99. 377
    Give me a chance "Cinderella"?? says:

    Can we take as a given that after 2015 the lib dummies will cease to exist. That’s if they even make it to 2015

    Lembit Opik ‘called me Cinderella… then he tried to kiss me’: Schoolgirl activist’s claims heap more embarrassment on Lib Dems

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2545603/Lembit-Opik-called-Cinderella-tried-kiss-Schoolgirl-activists-claims-heap-embarrassment-Lib-Dems.html#ixzz2rQkRLxXA

    • 390
      What a Pantomime says:

      Given that Opik called her Cinderella can we presume that he must have got first dibs as Hancock called her princess and that could only have happened after she was married

  100. 379
    Tachybaptus says:

    I don’t think the 50p rate is designed to actually bring in more cash (and some analyses indicate it may bring in less as avoidance increases – we’ll have to wait and see).

    The 50p rate is nothing more than a political totem – an indication that Labour recognise the rich are getting away with murder, and that they (unlike the Tories) think that it’s wrong.

    This signal to the rich (and to the Public in general) is crucial – it’s a genuine attempt to say “we really are all in it together”.

    Another political gesture would be to start jailing the worst offenders from the The City and the Banks – to demonstrate that society will not tolerate their greed and fraud.

    The Americans have done it, as has the government in Iceland. Meanwhile people like Boris Johnson make excuses for them, and Osborne fights for their bonuses. It’s disgusting

    • 405
      Paying most of the tax says:

      I believe its already well established that the top 10% pay 50% of the tax income. Getting away with murder just shows ignorance. I fucking worked hard for years studied at my own cost and finally got a good position. I did that on my own so you and the rest of you idiots including shite Dee can just fuck off.

      By the way I also do voluntary work and give to 4 charities as well as regularly making sandwiches for the homeless

      So double fuck off.

    • 444
      Podiceps says:

      Obviously this is the fake Tachybaptus. When I was using the name before he stole it I said many stupid things, but this is completely deranged.

  101. 382
    Ah! say says:

    Benefits street residents to be given houses with gardens so they can grow their own weeds.

  102. 384
    Ah! Guess says:

    Benefits Street: Seven charged.

    Eight refuse to pay.

  103. 388
    REALITY CHECK says:
  104. 389
    Ah! Believe says:

    Mr Balls

    Your comment is awaiting moderation

  105. 391
    Anonymous says:
  106. 393
  107. 397
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    UKIP candidate claims J*ws murdered each other in the Holocaust. Please don’t let this odd party anywhere near power http://bit.ly/1mGlc6I

    • 406

      David Ward claims the Holocaust never happened. Maybe the whole world never happened and this is just Ah! and Bill Quango putting on a show for no one.

    • 413
      you really don't get trying to get people on your side do you. says:

      July is the 100th anniversary of WW1 millions died in that from around the world, that anniversary will be remembered by this country, I will be voting UKIP and if any party has you involved in them then I know I wouldn’t vote for them for having you commenting for them

    • 430
      Gordon Brown says:

      There is nothing that you could say to me now that I could ever believe.

    • 468
      FFS says:

      Quality website. Makes the Sunday Sport look credible.

  108. 401
    Heil Cameron says:

    Good on you Ed Balls. This is why the Tories hate him. They know he will be better than Osborne. GAME OVER. May as well call the election now.

    • 408
      Anonymous says:

      Haha good one nice wind up. If that’s what you honestly think then you need to get medical help as soon as possible.

      • 431
        Axe the telly tax says:

        The BBC report on Balls seech contains this gem

        “The last Labour government raised the upper tax band from 40% to 50% in 2010 in response to the recession, but the coalition cut it to 45% last April.”

        Its correct of course but it would have been more true to say days before they lst power. Just like they would have done if it were the Tories..

  109. 412
    I want my subscription back says:

    Geedos site s fuckedcagain

  110. 414
    Owin Jones says:

    William Powell is the LibDem AM who’s been accused of touching up a woman now! Crumbs. Their party’s had it.

  111. 417
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:
    • 433
      Balls echo chamber says:

      Not a good turn out given that probably half are just sheltering from the rain

      • 440
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        Even the Fabians, bless their little cotton socks, have a certain threshold of bollocks which when past means you are out.

        They must be feeling really stupid now to realize that they have been outdone at their own game by Ed Balls for so many years.

    • 475
      Genghiz the kahn says:

      For 1.2% of the time #Labour was in Office 97-10, top rate income tax was 50%.Ed’s policy is #Balls.

  112. 418
    Tony and Cherie says:

    Hollande gets rid of Valerie Treiweiller never trust a Socialist,Justine and Yvette better watch out,Big Steph is back on the scene.

  113. 419
    Lard Everard says:
  114. 421
    American "You're so fat" jokes for Diane Abbott says:

    You’re so fat, when you get cut, you bleed gravy.

    You’re so fat, your blood type is Rocky Road.

    You’re so fat, you have your own post code.

    You’re so fat, your belt size is equator.

    You’re so fat, even Dora couldn’t explore you.

    You’re so fat, you gave Dracula diabetes.

    You’re so fat, when you twerk, you turn into a wrecking ball.

  115. 424

    @CO5

    Re: Posse comitatus and other matters
    http://bit.ly/1f1uB60

    • 451
      Casual Observer 5 says:

      The bit of posse comitatus I was referring to really is that where the government cannot use its forces against the people, but the people retain the right to form their own militia – in some circumstances to restore order in the homeland as well as defend.

      To your point – unless all out civil war has broken out then there is no real case for the army to be invoked at all. The military have a very specific role to play which is generally incompatible with the civilian world.

      Questioning the wisdom of the relationship between Army, Crown and Parliament / People is a healthy constitutional discussion. Whilst the Crown has served as a good and impartial balance on the tri-state power structures, of late it seems to have been failing somewhat in its duties.

      The republican question is certainly not moot. If the UK continues on its current path of EU integration then this question will come to the fore fairly soon. As a member state of a Federal European Union the Crown is redundant and an unnecessary burden. The Crown will be aware of that.

      The political cost and effect that deploying military against civilians should be the paramount reason in staying that option.

      The London Riots: Irritating, lots of property destroyed – but people were not killing each other. Property can be repaired, and things will move on.

      The only reason why those riots got so far out of control was because the Police did not take decisive action early, and regular folk were not in a position to defend their property from the marauding gangs.

      As a comparison: In similar riots which take place in the US from time to time, the only buildings which get torched are those where the people occupying do not have the means to defend. Rioters stay away if there is someone with a semi-auto rifle exercising their constitutional rights.

      The London riots do very much make the case for restoration of private gun ownership rights, and the police still have very deep questions to answer as to why they stood back and let it happen.

      The Libertarian angle here is really on the no harm principal. For the state to run the risk of killing a few to save lives is unacceptable.

      With some study you will learn that in similar situations involving civilian unrest, the death count is increased by the introduction of military and para-militarily forces. The talk in the UK of sending the army in to deal with a bunch of young ethnic morons who are stealing mars bars and setting fire to furniture shops really reflects the deep Marxist traits that put property above people, and also shows a sign of immaturity on matters of such debate.

      It should be noted that the police were able to restore order quickly without the use of armed response units.

    • 452
      Casual Observer 5 says:

      Do not mis-interpret what I say above as implying that your debate is immature. I am really referring to the populist notion that was being put to Farage, and Farage’s candid response.

  116. 427
    Axe the telly tax says:

    The BBC report on Balls seech contains this gem

    “The last Labour government raised the upper tax band from 40% to 50% in 2010 in response to the recession, but the coalition cut it to 45% last April.”

    Its correct of course but it would have been more true to say days before they lst power. Just like they would have done if it were the Tories

    • 446
      Mr Potato Head says:

      It also resulted in two years of very low growth under the coalition and we only started to get decent growth again when Osborne cut the tax to 45%. Now the cretin wants to raise it to 50% again. Clearly lessons are never learned when it comes to socialists and economics.

      • 462
        Politics is the new religion with its equivilance in extremists and fundamentalists says:

        To be fair I would pay a kings ransom to employ Balls as his advice is invaluable. Simply do the opposite to what he says and hey presto success.

  117. 429

    Off to the village restaurant for a peppersteak.

    It is cold enough to freeze a witch’s tit here. See you later.

  118. 439
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Samantha says I am not allowed in the back door with muddy shoes on, why?

    • 457
      retardEd Miliband says:

      Pwobably thomething to do with the cotht of living cwithith cauthed by the bedwoom taxth and the authtewity, which ith too far, too fatht.

      One Nay-thion.

    • 476
      cep says:

      Clean your chap before you enter the tunnel of mud.

  119. 453
    The Undergraduate says:

    I will be coming out of uni with 50K of debt.

    If I work myself silly to clear this off early I will be paying higher rate tax plus NI as well as paying into a compulsory pension.

    I think I will go and live in Australia.

    • 460
      Ed Ballsup says:

      I would if I were you, because you know that pension you’ll be paying into? Well, I’m going to steal it.

      Gordon taught me that one! Tee hee!

    • 463
      Labour (for shirkers, not workers) says:

      The solution is to NOT work yourself silly paying it off early.

      Just laze around and skive.

      Labour: we hate strivers, but we LOVE skivers.

      (PS: we also hate people who succeed in life. Damn them. We’ll screw all of them.)

      • 467
        The Socialist Champagne says:

        We only say that because the millionaires on the Labour front bench all inherited their wealth

        • 482
          retardEd Miliband says:

          My £2million home (paid for by other people) appeared out of no-where.

          But I detherve it. Each according to their needth.

          Even though I’ve never had a real job. Not one.

          (Cotht of living cwithith.)

    • 485
      An Education Wasted says:

      You don’t come out with any debt.

      I am amazed that some undergraduates can not grasp this simple fact.

  120. 470
    Sally Bercow says:

    Well, this is the headline that keeps on giving…HOLLANDE SAUCE SPLIT!

  121. 474
    Dr Owen Jones says:

    The common carotid artery is a paired structure, meaning that there are two in the body, one for each half. The left and right common carotid arteries follow the same course with the exception of their origin. The right common carotid originates in the neck from the brachiocephalic trunk. The left arises from the aortic arch in the thoracic region. The bifurcation into the external and internal carotid arteries occurs at the upper border of the thyroid cartilage, at around the level of the fourth cervical vertebra.

  122. 477
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Interesting news about HSBC:

    http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/hsbc-faces-70bn-capital-hole-133705984.html

    The bank appears to be imposing capital controls on it’s customers, restricting the amount of cash they may withdraw from their accounts unless the customer can provide proof of a legitimate reason for such a withdrawal.

    Cutting away any other bollocks (including Ed Balls) – that means they are preparing to avert a bank run and might in fact be looking to do a bail-in with customers money. Similar to what happened in Cyprus, but a bit better planned.

    In any case, if HSBC have a fundamental liquidity problem, then any talk of a recovery is equally invalid, as if there are concerns over this institution that will have negative economic implications globally.

  123. 478
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Interesting news about H’SBC:

    http://tinyurl.com/pnfj998

    The bank appears to be imposing capital controls on it’s customers, restricting the amount of cash they may withdraw from their accounts unless the customer can provide proof of a legitimate reason for such a withdrawal.

    Cutting away any other bollocks (including Ed Balls) – that means they are preparing to avert a bank run and might in fact be looking to do a bail-in with customers money. Similar to what happened in Cyprus, but a bit better planned.

    In any case, if H’SBC have a fundamental liquidity problem, then any talk of a recovery is equally invalid, as if there are concerns over this institution that will have negative economic implications globally.

    • 483
      Solvent says:

      The second a bank tries to stop me removing any of my own cash is the second I take the lot out.

  124. 486
    Barroso and Bono...Hide your wallets says:
    • 487
      Those two are figureheads for global corruption says:

      Experts at amassing great personal wealth (tax free) while giving away other people’s money.


Seen Elsewhere

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A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
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Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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