January 25th, 2014

Saturday Seven Up

This week 118,099 visitors visited 341,729 times viewing 633,802 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

493 Comments

  1. 1
    charity my arse says:

    Gordon Brown’s office has £10K a week “expenses”

  2. 2
    M­­aqb­­oul says:

    It’s all coming out now: Sc­argill, a secret Tha­tcherite; Bl­air, a ca­pitalist tycoon and Brown, a globe trotting ta­xdodger.

  3. 3
    M­­aqb­­oul says:

    Bollox

  4. 4
    kmc says:

    That’s just the bill for replacement Nokias.

  5. 5
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Let’s get fracking…..

  6. 6
    Ed Bollox says:

    Ed Bollox

  7. 7

    Bolleaux for Europeans’ benefit.

  8. 8

    {from previous thread}

    @Alice

    You suggested Surely consuming alcohol makes them non-Muslims, by definition

    That is clearly a non sequitur as Islam is a faith and drinking is an activity. The shahada is the Muslim creed which nowhere mentions alcohol. Therefore your claim that it is a valid definition is false. (As to form, I restructured it only moderately to make a potentially dull subject more fun.)

    @FFS

    Same applies. I said they were Muslims and they are. If the attribute of being Muslim magically disappears when their bodies contain alcohol, then there would be less than half the Muslims there are in the world today. Did you know that many people have alcohol in their body naturally? Look up Endogenous Ethanol Production. Does that render them non-Muslims automatically? Of course not!

  9. 9
    nell says:

    http://news.sky.com/story/1200707/balls-commits-to-balancing-the-nations-books

    ++++Laugh++++ edballs is practising to become a comedian!

  10. 10
    Prime Minister Comrade David Cameron says:

    I think dislike of Socialism is a mental illness and I call upon the NHS to make more beds available to treat it.

  11. 11
    Gordon says:

    Sarah and I are a tax avoidance efficient company and not a charity. I did learn something during my time at the treasury.

  12. 12
    Nick Clegg says:

    A week is a long time in politics.

  13. 13
    Ed Balls says:

    At 10.30 hours this morning I shall be making a speech which will rattle the Conservative led coalition.

  14. 14

    Nokia suffered a 22% fall in sales at its core NSN division in the final three months of last year.

  15. 15

    Dracula promises to look after blood bank properly this time.

  16. 16
    Joss Taskin says:

    Is this Plan ‘C’ ??

  17. 17
    Ed Balls is Sweetmeat says:

    Rattle with mirth Ed.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Here we go again.—

    “The next Labour government will balance the books and deliver a surplus on the current budget and falling national debt in the next Parliament.

    “So my message to my party and the country is this: where this government has failed, we will finish the job.”

    Sky

    That’s Ed Balls. The Ed Balls who advised the country under Brown into this poistion in the first place. The audacity of the man and the left to even comment on the economy is breathtaking and it has taken quite a while to slow down Labours runaway train . Just before Labour were thrown out they made last minute changes akin to jamming the throttle open and smashing the brake handle before jumping off the train. They wanted the train in the buffers driven for the last mile by whoever followed them

    Liars they should never be allowed back

  19. 19
    Quithling Ed Miliband says:

    At 10:31 I will make a thpectacle of mythelf.

  20. 20
    Ed talking bollox lies lies lies says:

    “The next Labour government will balance the books and deliver a surplus on the current budget and falling national debt in the next Parliament.

    “So my message to my party and the country is this: where this government has failed, we will finish the job.

    Hahahahaha

  21. 21
    kmc says:

    Maybe he’s switched to Samsung?

  22. 22
    Tima and motion study says:

    Yeah. About 3 hours ‘work ‘a day hating yoour colleagues, and the rest spent fiddling expenses and preening yourself.

  23. 23
    kmc says:

    “Did you know that many people have alcohol in their body naturally?”

    That’s just not fair!

  24. 24
    Ed Bullshit says:

    We’ll balance the books – for the time it takes between finding out there is some money in the account and opening our next credit card bill.

  25. 25
    kmc says:

    I’m curious about this one..

    “New laws introducing tough fiscal rules would be introduced during the party’s first year in power”

    He’s going to spend the first year creating new laws to prevent himself from spending too much in the subsequent four years?

    Eh? Why doesn’t he just “not spend too much” from the outset? Why does he need laws to stop himself from doing things he says he isn’t going to do anyway?

    He’s a weirdo.

  26. 26
    Nick Clegg says:

    Een week is een lange tijd in de politiek

  27. 27

    Rather Cingular that his Handspring Palm was covered in Siemens after a Vivo Sprint.

  28. 28
    Ex Long Term Tory Supporter --now UKIP says:

    2010 Conservative Manifesto — the bulk of the Deficit is to be eliminated by 2015.

    The same fucking bollux — from Camoron & Co.

    the LibLabConners are all the same — TRAITOROUS LIARS

  29. 29
    Ed talking bollox lies lies lies says:

    I have just read a comment from a diehard leftie who appears to be saying that at least Brown started getting the deficit down by selling all the gold.

    There really are people that cannot be trusted with a vote.

  30. 30
    Tax is theft says:

    Crack addict says ‘I’m giving up, straight after the next fix’

  31. 31
    Tosser Dave says:

    We’ll never balance the books either — we just keep on spending as well

  32. 32
    Dreaming of the new Liebour world says:

    We have learn’t our lessons and blamed the lazy people and the bankers and the rest of the world but we were still found out, the next time we will make sure we never get caught, as we will make sure anything bad we do or happens never gets reported, we will bring back ID cards, make sure everybody does postal voting and a crowd of two people will be considered a political mob and plod will be used to break the mob up, internet ISPs will have local blocking of any political data blaming Liebour or naming Liebour in way, we will restart the 4am knock on the doors by plod which was a feature of our 13year reign of terror, all other political parties will be banned especially UKIP but our affiliated parties , Camorons Conservatives and the Libcrap will be allowed.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Indeed they did say that but did you miss te bit where the deficit was far greater than anyone admitted in particular Labour.

    They are not the same because no party is going to make themselves unpopular for no good reason. Labour just spent sent and spent ball our inheritances to stay popular.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    I agree but given the damage labour did I’m not convinced our grandchildren will

  35. 35
    Tax is theft says:

    So, on finding out how bad things were, they decided not to solve the problem and just run up ever more debts.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    The problem is there are enough benefits st type people out there that will believe balls and put labour back in power to remain sucking on the public seat.

  37. 37
    PR China PLC says:

    Your grandchildren will be our slaves. They will have no say over what our govenment does or does not spend.

  38. 38
    Piss Artistes against the Conservative led coalition says:

    Go Ed Go !

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    You don’t get it do you. Its a weaning process personally I’d shut the whole lot down but people like you would just shout the house down. There were so many non jobs in the public sector and taking benefits it was frightening. The balance changes slowly but it is changing

    What would you do then? Come on tell us your pearls of wisdom

  40. 40
    Michael Gove says:

    We are looking into getting the Afghan president Hamid Karzai, to come into our schools and spread the anti-drugs message.

  41. 41
    kmc says:

    It really does sound just like German, doesn’t it?

  42. 42
    Village idiot says:

    ……Fracking,…..I think the government should act quickly as “the Somerset Levels have become this country,s “New Orleans”!!!!….Get a grip and stop this descent to third world status!!

  43. 43
    kmc says:

    Hey! That sounds just like.. now!

  44. 44
    Tosser Dave says:

    Thank you for your kind offer.

    Can you send the U.K. more money now please? £10 BILLION per month to cover my Government’s Deficit would do nicely.

    We’ll start paying it back just as soon as the interest rates go up.

    Trust us. We’re LibLabConners.

  45. 45
    A short list says:

    Cut foreign aid. Leave the EU. Expel the 2 million illegals who have driven down wages and created unemployment so rents (and HB) will fall and more British workers can get in work and stop claiming benefits.

  46. 46
    A short list says:

    Cut foreign aid. Leave the EU. Expel the 2 million illegals who have depressed wages and created unemployment so rents (and HB) will fall and more British workers can get in work and stop claiming benefits.

  47. 47
    Screwed Taxpayer says:

    Dave’s had nearly four fucking years. He hasn’t cut the Deficit anything like the amount promised. He can’t just carry on blaming Gorgon & Co. The current level of Deficit is his fault.

  48. 48
    Priority #1 says:

    Still, with all our fellow citizens suffering devastation in their homes and livelihoods, it’s heartening to see another £100m given to Syrians instead.

  49. 49
    Proceeds of Crime says:

    Arrest the gangster and sieze all his assets.

  50. 50
    HM Government says:

    With 0.7% of the nation’s wealth to piss away every year, we have to start somewhere.

  51. 51
    Alistair Darling says:

    I spent my time as Chancellor of the Exchequor , house flipping so as to avoid paying tax to the treasury which I was in charge of.

  52. 52
    Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

    Most of these people can’t be arsed to vote. The only thing they are good for is their entitlement to a postal vote, which blank votes can be gathered like an annual harvest by those who patronise such people.

  53. 53
    Mother Nature says:

    I’ve told you before. Legalise all drugs. Let the silly fuckers poison themselves with them if they want to. Stop all the associated crime instantly. End of problem.

  54. 54
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Shadow chancellor Ed Balls is promising to balance the nation’s books, run a budget surplus and cut the national debt whenLabour win power from this damn useless Conservative led coalition

  55. 55
    Smarmy scumbag at the Despatch Box says:

    Yes, be proud of,your generosity

  56. 56

    Dear Doctor Shipman.

    Please come back and treat our patients in Hyde. We are convinced you will do it so much better now.

    Yours

    Ed Balls.

  57. 57
    18 months and counting says:

    So why didn’t that traffic cop believe it?

  58. 58
    Professor Higgins says:

    Around Aachen, where the dialact is known as Öcher Platt, the two languages sound very similar if everyone is drunk.

  59. 59
    Tessa Jowell says:

    Proceeds of crime ? Me and my Hubby seem to have gotten away with it. I’m now fetted by SKY TV who ask me on all the time.

  60. 60
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    I would like a 2 year prison sentence for possession of sugar with intent to supply

  61. 61
    Bollux Admirer says:

    Well done Shadow Chancellor — spoken like a true Camoronite

  62. 62

    He sold the gold at $300, the mаrket bottom, and then started to run the deficit up.

    For the avoidance of doubt, my use of the term mаrket bottom is meant to apply to the gold and not to Brown.

  63. 63
    David Cameron says:

    We have reduced the deficit by doubling the national debt. Clever – what?

  64. 64
    altruism in industry says:

    did the fabric of reality change while I was asleep ?

  65. 65
    Squidger says:

    Forthcoming Tiddlywinks tournaments:

    Cambridge Open, 1-2 Feb 2014: the Chadwick Room, Selwyn College, Cambridge.
    National Pairs, 26-27 Apr 2014: the Chadwick room, Selwyn College, Cambridge.
    Jubilee Trophy and Golden Squidger (ETwA Singles and Pairs challenge trophies, respectively)

    Courtesy of the organ Winking World

  66. 66
    Ed Balls (age 7) says:

    I’ll be good next time so please let me have the keys to the sweet shop again.

  67. 67
    Boakk says:

    They’d be too drunk to see the ballot paper correctly….everyone on it has a chance of the tick.

  68. 68
    altruism in industry says:

    I thought he flogged the gold because he thought we were going to join the Euro and would have to hand the gold over ?

  69. 69
    Ian Smith says:

    Universal Credit will be delivered on time and on budget. I may now be the only person who believes this.

  70. 70
    Ed Hollandiband says:

  71. 71
    A waste says:

    Turned the news on…..same every day, Islamic savages killing people in Africa and the Middle East.
    How much of our money is the Government sending today to help?

  72. 72
    Ippikin says:

    Balls ance the books by 2020 – what utter Ballsderdash!

  73. 73
    altruism in industry says:

    proscribe Islam

  74. 74
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    The Christians are hitting back in CAR though.

  75. 75
  76. 76
  77. 77
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Give mandatory six month sentences for possession of illegal drugs suspended for 10 years.

    Perhaps this would be an interesting deterrent .

  78. 78
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    Nearly right he sold our gold to help prop up the Euro.
    For this action alone he deserves to be prosecuted ,although why the Bank of England allowed him to do it is another question.

  79. 79
    Phil from Pentonville says:

    We have got Hal ah Chicken burgers on the menu tonight together with multiple choice/faith breakfasts.

    I tell you some people couldn’t arrange a knock up in a brothel.

  80. 80
    Lembit says:

    Thank fuck for that. Publicity. With everyone going on about Rennard and Hancock I was beginning to think the world had forgotten about me.

  81. 81
    Ah! speechless says:

    Harriett claims £10 for drawing pins.

  82. 82
    Lord Branson Dickie says:

    A bloke who cannot balance the books by 2016 is no use to me.

  83. 83
    Lost in Clacton says:

    Labour have no ambition for the country.

  84. 84
    E Wing says:

    Thanks Phil. We’ll pop over to the dining room when we’ve finished this game of pool. Can you take some more pistachio icecream out of the freezer? Some of us had to make do with vanilla and maple syrup last night.

  85. 85
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    “…….we will finish the job.”….of bankrupting the country that we started ??

  86. 86
    Ed Balls MP says:

    Winking World? Sounds right up my street.

  87. 87
    Liberal and tolerant Millwall bear pit fans says:

    Has Harman and the sisterhood said anything about this yet?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-25885766

    The court heard during the attack in the town centre, one of the sisters told Nazma’s partner: “You’ve messed with the wrong Muslims, we’re going to kill you.”

    She prevented herself from being dragged into the car by holding on to the side of the vehicle.

    Det Sgt Mark Haworth-Oates said: “This has been a particularly difficulty case for the victim and her partner given the familial link.

    “The family clearly worked together to plan this despicable offence that was guided by their feelings of misguided honour.”

    Muslims against Lesbians. Who delivers more votes for Labour?

  88. 88
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    That why postal voting was introduced as it favours those people inclined to vote Labour but can’t be arsed to go to poling stations…it’s the same rationale for supplying transport on polling day

  89. 89
    Dave the Pink says:

    Can I come? I like twinks too you know.

    I even legislated so that the boys can “marry” each other — at least that’s what you can call a fully blown bumsex relationship nowadays in LibLabConnerland.

  90. 90
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    Who is going to sell them the drugs , Tesco? ,how will it stop all associated crime the scum won’t work either way , have you not seen them getting their ‘ free ‘ methadone paid for by you ?

  91. 91
    Ah! don't believe it says:

    Stephen Hawking stuns physicists by declaring ‘there are no black holes… but there are GREY ones’

    Someone better tell Diane.

  92. 92
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Cutting defence spending whilst increasing overseas aid is a sure fire vote winner in my estimation !!!

  93. 93
    The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

    For a bed of nails, presumably?

  94. 94
    Tosser Dave says:

    The date is 2015 Duckie. That’s what my 2010 Manifesto said.

  95. 95
    E L James says:

    Fifty Shades of them?

  96. 96
    The British Public says:

    Deport the lot of them.

  97. 97
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Apparently times are tough….I listened to some woman being interviewed yesterday on BBC News Channel….”What have you found that you have had to cut back on because of the cuts ?” asked the BBC reporter. “Well,” said the woman “as a family we’ve had to cut back to just ONE holiday a year !”

  98. 98
    House of Lords Sycophant says:

    Make sure nobody has placed drawing pins on the green benches M’Lud — could perforate one’s perineum.

  99. 99
    GORDON BROWN (EX MP) says:

    Slight concern over the end dodgyness.

  100. 100
    Confused Harperson says:

    What am I going to do? Support the mozzies or the lezzies?

  101. 101
    The Labour Party says:

    Oh yes we do. We want it abolished and replaced by regions of the United States of Europe.

  102. 102
    Hampstead Libdumper says:

    Come back Opik. All is forgiven. Even you couldn’t do worse than Nickelarse

  103. 103
    Hergé says:

    Cheaper than going to war…we’d spend £100 million in about the couple of days of bombing and probably end up in being stuck there for years just like our other “successful” interventions…Iraq and Afghanitan at a cost in cash(ignoring the cost in blood)of ten time that sum

  104. 104
    BBC news special report says:

    And getting damned by the MSM for defending themselves, it seems Christians should meekly accept their persecution at the hands of islam.

  105. 105
    A waste says:

    I see that. The disgust on BBC and AlJazeera is palpable.

  106. 106
    Dave from Witney says:

    “I am tremendously proud of the UK’s record in the field of foreign aid. Britons can be truly proud of their contribution and will no doubt feel a warm glow that it is the RIGHT thing to do as their local services are cut and they wade up to their waists in flood water in their homes. “

  107. 107
    Dial a balloon says:

    Don’t worry, Lembit, you’ve a ready ear on Stephen Nolan’s show whenever he needs a comment or two

  108. 108
    Eric the Half-Cut says:

    Mother Nature has stitched me up.

  109. 109
    I'm all right jAck says:

    I see she is campaigning to end sexism within the party, suggests unhappy women leave if necessary..but she’ll be staying in her £20k job!

  110. 110
    Ippikin says:

    Ah but he needs another five years to get his paunch into balance!

  111. 111
    Dave from Witney says:

    BUT Nick won’t let me be a Tory

  112. 112
    Curious says:

    Aren’t Christians supposed to turn the other cheek — according to their fairy story book?

  113. 113

    It was done by Balls before.

    Brown’s Golden Rule was The Government will borrow only to invest, not to fund current spending, over the economic cycle.

    He broke it before he started by backdating the reference frame, before starting, to when the previous government was in power producing a healthy surplus for him to squander.

    We all know that what he termed investment was actually pissing the money up against the wall whilst attempting to play windmills with his hose. NHS wages and compliance officers were some of the multitudinous things counted as investment.

    The economic cycle was extended to infinity as all the wheels started to come off. If it had been a pedal cycle, the frame’s top tube would have been one thousand miles high, rendering it impossible to get one’s leg over.

  114. 114
    Anon. says:

  115. 115
    How creepy says:

  116. 116
    altruism in industry says:

    I see a bunch of comical minstrels who are taking the piss out of the bible are banned in Ireland, if that was the Koran heads would roll.

  117. 117
    M102 says:

    or the pa3dos?

  118. 118
    The voice of Sanity says:

    There are some very suitable beds reserved for CP nutters like you – they’re slimy, wet and six feet deep.

  119. 119
    This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired says:

    Dave’s cunning plan to stop Tory voters defecting to UKIP seems to have hit the buffers. Plenty of trouble expected next week from the eurosceptics on his back benches and much policticking from Farage ??

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/eureferendum/10596410/EU-referendum-Bill-branded-dead-parrot-after-Lords-vote.html

  120. 120
    Mark Oaten says:

    It was meant for his Asus

  121. 121
    Omnipotent BBC says:

    Apparently muzoe’s are going out to fight for their own in Sy rea because they are disenfranchised, and marginalized and ghettoised and discriminated and so on and so forth, oh and the ‘cuts’ have made things worse for them, well that is according to some muslem chappie that was on the toady prog this morning.

    And as you can guess none of this BS was challenged by beboid, rather more like agreed with.

    I can’t help wondering why they want to come back to such a place.

  122. 122
    My noble lords THIS decision is just TOO important to leave to the ill-informed British people says:

    This country will NEVER get a referendum on EU membership and THAT’s one promise the LibDems and Labour will definitely honour

  123. 123
    Gordon McMental says:

    But those bits of paper are so much prettier than that boring metal stuff.

  124. 124
    Victim Trumps says:

    Who’s going to give you the more votes? That’ll help your conscience to decide.

  125. 125
    Dreaming of the new Liebour world says:

    So Ed the Bollocks is going to take his endogenous growth theories into law, all laws usually have a penalty attached to them in the event of failure, so is Ed Bollocks going to have a real penalty or a Liebour penalty, the Liebour penalty is an easier option, Liebour pay vast amounts of tax payers money for failure and lessons as usual will be learn’t.

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:

    The native English must grovel harder to please the vibrants and diversoids.

  127. 127
    FrankFisher says:

    Just a word to anyone here who lives ooop North and fancies spending a weekend scaring the living shit out of LibLabCon, UKIP has a weekend of action planned in Wythenshawe and Sale, all volunteers welcome to assist with canvassing, leafleting etc. Just get yourselves along to the pop-up HQ at 84 School Rd, Sale, in the precinct, and they’ll give you some work to to. Even if you can just spare an hour or too, you will be given something useful to do.

    This was winnable yesterday morning; after the referendum collapse it’s twice as winnable now. Be part of it eh, lads and lasses?

  128. 128
    UKIP or bust says:

    Well, the scam brought him a fair bit of time. Now, he’s only got eighteen months or so, and he can use the coming election as an excuse for not doing anything more about it.

  129. 129
    Psyche the Dog says:

    “You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…” Hmmm After I have read some of the comments on here regarding Guido (bearing in mind that I do not personally know either of them nor them me), to be on the safe side, I would prefer to keep them in front of me just in case, you understand. This blog has become more right wing, it was easy when B’Liar and Pa Broon were in charge, they just could not keep out of making cockups and various shady practices. Maybe you lot might be interested in this article concerning Boris’s old man and his rebellion over the HS2 project, he has a point if it wasn’t just more than a bit of NIMBEISM

  130. 130
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Nonsense! The British public will be guaranteed a referendum on EU membership.
    Just as soon as they understand they must vote YES, they can have a vote.

  131. 131
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Too Bizarre
    Too Farce

  132. 132
    Just wondrin says:

    If Virgins and heaven is so attractive, why don’t all mu5lims commit mass suicide and get there early? Why wait on this miserable earth?

  133. 133
    diane arbus says:

    Yup, your in a class of your own.

  134. 134
    Jack Dromey says:

    I wanted to look at TWIX online! Honestly! TWINK was just a typing error.

    “Dark, caramel XL Twinks”

  135. 135
    Bulldoze the lords into the ground says:

    Strikes me that the argument the EU is too complex to let the ghastly plebs decide, is the first step towards getting rid of elections altogether.

    After all, if we’re too thick to understand just one issue, how can we possibly be expected to vote at a general election, where there is not one, but a whole host of equally complex issues to decide?

  136. 136
    Bilda Berger says:

    You could rephrase that last bit.

  137. 137
    Bilda Berger says:

    She should have told him they’d cancelled their DD for the telly tax.

  138. 138
    The Gay Mafia - Fedoras with a pink band says:

    If you want a different snack, Jack,type into google ‘Big brown Double Deckers’

  139. 139
  140. 140
    Full of balls says:

    Balls promising he’ll deliver a budget surplus by 2020 is rather like a serial killer asking to be released from prison by promising he won’t kill again.

  141. 141
    Bilda Berger says:

    The quickest way to win the war on drugs would be to execute junkies. Kill the market and you kill the trade.

  142. 142
    Inside the mind of the enemy says:

    ‘Verily, we must chop off their heads.’

  143. 143
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Shhhh, Puss, Gideon will want to tax it!!!!!

    Moslems are not supposed to gamble but who go to the big cainos in Londonistan and elsewhere. All the major world religions tend to look down on gambling, boozing until incapable, smoking, drugs and othe vices and their adherents still do it, that is their choice, as long they do not adversely affect others, they are responsible for their actions.

  144. 144
    All Labour Governments says:

    there is surely a black hole in our spending plans

  145. 145
    FFS says:

    Logical fallacy of “Trivial Objections” otherwise known as splitting hairs.

    Alice specifically said the alcohol was consumed – not naturally occurring in the body.

    The shahada doesn’t define what you need to do to be a Muslim anymore than the Nicean creed defines what you need to do to be Christian. In fact the Nicean creed could be swapped with the shahada and you’d only notice the names had changed.

    Nice try but no cigar. Go to the back of your dialectics class and write out each of the logical fallacies ten times.

  146. 146
    TALKING BALLS says:

    When it comes to talking bollocks , i’m a natural

  147. 147
    Bilda Berger says:

    Apparently she also “received unwelcome attention from a Welsh Assembly member”. Besides unwelcome attention from a 48-gallon drum of henna.

  148. 148
    Pick litter for bennies says:

    2 mins into Ed Balls speech,can,t take any more.Lies,dam lies and Ed Balls.

  149. 149
    Beards aren't cheap says:

    Cut Brown some slack over his huge expenses. It’s not cheap to keep a beard on retainer.

  150. 150
    Bilda Berger says:

    Frank, you used to post here a lot — we miss your torrents of funny and literate bile, so please return to the fold forthwith!

  151. 151

    Considered it. It might have even been possible for certain ladies I know with long legs. But when one has Balls…

  152. 152
    altruism in industry says:

    if we introduced an “Ugly Tax” that would sort out the deficit

  153. 153
    It's a Cracker says:

  154. 154
    TALKING BALLS says:

    They have learn’t nothing , they still preach an economy paid for out of bankers bonuses

  155. 155
    Chichi and Chuka says:

  156. 156
    TALKING BALLS says:

    Why is this comment being moderated ? FFS

  157. 157
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Of course he will, there does seem an upturn in the economy “but still very weak” first 3 months off the floor growth, but Dave has got his glory follies all lined up with HS2 and other such projects, he does not seem to say where the money is coming from, HS2 already estimated to cost £40Billion the true figure would be more like £80Biliion when and if finished.

  158. 158
    Ian Huntley says:

    I’ve learnt my lesson too. Can you let me out of prison and have my old job back cleaning the school?

  159. 159
    albacore says:

    If clever Ed Balls can balance the books
    (Anyway, that’s what he reckons, me ducks)
    Let’s not be too selfish and keep him here
    The E U needs him – for years that’s been clear

  160. 160
    The Tower says:

    The answer is simple. Arrest the traiitors.

  161. 161
  162. 162
    Patriot says:

    It looks to me like he is busy doing something about the shit this country has got itself into instead of just complaining in a congenial echo chamber. Good man.

  163. 163
    Drummer Balls says:

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    HSBC the Bank that likes to f uck its customers around.

  165. 165
    John Bellingham says:

    There but a single vowel goeth the member for Portsmouth South.

  166. 166

    You appear to be one of these types who think that faith is sociologically defined by habits rather than theologically defined by beliefs.

    I tend to regard men who hanker after, or otherwise exploit, cigars as Clints.

  167. 167
    Jack Ketch says:

    Ever heard of OCD?

  168. 168
    British Citizen says:

    The only way Ed Balls would balance the books is by cooking them and repeating the PFI frauds. The man is a fucking crook.

  169. 169
    Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

    Not interested in your off topic spam.

  170. 170
    Ah! wish I'd said that says:

    “Balls is fluent in bollocks”

  171. 171
    The Bridge at Dandong says:

    Ed Balls visits North Korea and tells Kim Jong-Un how to improve his golf while stealing even more money from the public. The sychophantic Labour Party applaud.

  172. 172
    Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

    Herr Hitler committed to a fair inclusive society for all, including Je­ws, gy­psies, ho­mosexualists and darkies.

  173. 173
    Persona non grata says:

    I’m hoping UKIP clean up, and get their first MP. One small step in getting our democracy back. Good luck to you Frank, and go UKIP.

  174. 174
    The British Public says:

    Syria is none of our business.

  175. 175
    The British media are cunts says:

    No one bothers to ask Ed Balls why the 50p rate if tax wasn’t introduced by Labour until a few weeks before the last election and was in force for longer under the Tories.

  176. 176
    Jack Ketch says:

    I would love to come and help. Trouble is, I am unemployed and skint and you are 120 miles away. Please send me an invitation to attend an interview for a job and I can claim the travel and overnight expense from the DHSS.

  177. 177
    Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

    What did you say?

  178. 178
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest man in politics says:

    If a man chooses to watch hard-core pr0n in his hotel room and bill the taxpayer on expenses, surely that’s his own private affair?

  179. 179
    Your comment is awaiting moderation. says:

    What’s changed guys is that it is now full of plummy voiced middle class incomers like yourselves.

  180. 180
    FFS says:

    The quickest way to win the war on drugs would be to resurrect Elliot Ness and get the corrupt police out of our cities. Our police are the ONLY people in the country that CAN’T find drugs.

  181. 181
    The British Public says:

    That is a trivial issue in the bigger scheme of things.

  182. 182
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Forward to 2020.
    Ed Balls – I never said I would deliver a surpluss.

  183. 183

    1. Think I can detect the cause of your automated symposiarch difficulties.

    2. ho­mosexualists! Love it.

    3. In 2. above, I mean the word and not the practice.

  184. 184
    Francois Hollande says:

    C’est vrai.

  185. 185
    Jack Straw says:

    With ‘bongo economics’ there’s no upper limit to the amount of money which we can borrow to give away to hostile foreign powers to fund their ballistic missile programs.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Oi balls

    Why do you want to balance the budget now when you didn’t want to before
    Twat

  187. 187
    FFS says:

    I thought that report reflected rather badly on her.

    Silly little girl. How the hell is she supposed to meet anyone if she takes the attitude “you can’t talk to me and you can’t joke with me”.

    One of those deranged feminists that acts as if every man is a r@pist and then wonders why they are still single at 45.

  188. 188
    Village Idiot says:

    ….No referendum required,just exit,or are we ruled by the eu or the british parliament?…..(I know the answer!)
    ….As for the House of Lords,my god,they care less about Britain and adore Europe,..i wonder why?
    ….What a joke British democracy has become!….An expensive joke given our house of lords,who treat the electorate with such contempt!
    ……Still,the more they bluster,the more people can see through their motives!
    .. you would have thought that having been given a lordship,that they would defend Britain to their dying breath,but,oh no!!!!…..(self serving weasels)

  189. 189
    thrf67 says:

    Well no, he gave it to the ZioLoons instead.

  190. 190

    OK! Done! We all promise faithfully to vote YES.

    Now can we have a referendum, pretty please?

  191. 191
    FFS says:

    Fuck me that family must be doing some serious drugs. Just look at the eyes.

  192. 192
  193. 193
    The International Fabians Society says:

    Haven’t you noticed that it doesn’t really matter how people voite, the outcome is more or less the same?

    All over Europe people vote, and yet you never get a radical change of direction from any of these newly elected governments.

    Worked out what’s going on yet?

  194. 194
    FFS says:

    Ed Balls will balance the books.

    In future all debt will be “off the books”

    They call it “PFI”

  195. 195
    Any advance on Upper? says:

    I don’t think Chuks considers himself and his family as middle class. All the Trash these days say they are middle class.

  196. 196
    Crash Bang Wollop says:

    What’s more. He’s a crap drummer with no sense of timing.

  197. 197
    Why not? says:

    Seems a sensible purpose for claiming Bennies’ expenses

  198. 198
    FFS says:

    You only need faith to be religious. You need to follow the proscriptions of Islam to actually be a Muslim (rather than merely claiming to be a Muslim)

    Fallacy of Definition. You’ve done that twice now. Made the definition of what it is to be a Muslim so broad you could fit anybody in it.

  199. 199
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    A Conservative led coalition would reintroduce the 50p top rate of income tax for those earning over £10,000, Chancellor George Osborne has said.

    Hear ! Hear !

    Vote Tory !

  200. 200
    Genghiz the kahn says:
  201. 201
    Nick Clegg says:

    95% of my problems would be solved if i stopped over-thinking everything & calmed the fuck down & stopped being such an anxious little shit.

  202. 202
    Mornington Crescent says:

    A shallow, fly-by-night, socially useless ad-man who’s scared he will no longer be able to plonk his corporate base wherever he can get away with avoiding the most tax.

    Getting bored of the “yah, but we pay lots of NI” bollox. If you don’t like it here, Sorrell, feel free to fuck off.

  203. 203
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Never confuse class with money.

  204. 204
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Tories campaign managers Jim”Know nothing” Messina, Lynton”The Bastard” Crosby start their “dirty tricks” with attacks on the sick>

    pic.twitter.com/p2VH1biAWA

  205. 205

    Rich quoting Fallacy of Definition at me when you are flouting it yourself.

    The definition you provide is hopelessly over narrow. There won’t be any Muslims left the way you are going.

    Returning to Christian belief for a moment, in illustration, it contains the concept of forgiveness of sins. If id did not there would be no Christians either.

  206. 206
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Ed’s speech will be to the Fabian society – enough said.

  207. 207
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Indeed it was.

    We’ve the wrong Miliband in the word cloud.

  208. 208
    Hey ho what a nice day says:

    If they want to be told what they are already doing then that’s up to them, us plebs will vote decide at the Euro elections soon, lets see who’s keck’s turn brown first.

  209. 209
    Anon says:

    Not true. What about Father Ted?

  210. 210
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Ed Balls sounds like someone who has ra*ped a girl and then asks her parents if he can take her for a night out.

  211. 211
    altruism in industry says:

    There are just the 2 classes, those that sell their labor ( the slaves) and the ones they sell it to ( the slave masters ).
    A self sufficient agro community would of course be outside this arrangement.

  212. 212
    Dweeb says:

    Will someone tell that fukin awful rag the Daily Wail that stationers itemise things when they make up an invoice.

    They’re trying to make out that Dave sits at his desk all day personally writing out expenses claims for 7p paper clips. I know he’s a tosser but even he has better things to do. He probably never sees the fukin stationery order.

    Gullible Mail readers are outraged, which of course is the whole idea. Idiots.

  213. 213
    Ailurophile says:

    Christians forgive sinners. Muslims murder them. Simples.

  214. 214
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Indeed BB – Goldmans were ‘the chosen advisers’ to Broons Government. Broon did as he was advised to. If you follow the profit it’ll take you to New York and beyond.

    Another route to follow is of Britains ‘war loans’ – which were finally paid off a couple of years ago – but it was the interest upon interest which made someone millions if not billions over several decades.

  215. 215

    Agree completely! Let’s face it, it is the Blair inversion of logic happening all over again.

    Given the likely flow of events, his present situation of being universally reviled will descend to a state where it will retrospectively appear we actually all loved the c’unt.

  216. 216
    nell says:

    balls says ‘when he’s chancellor’ he’s going to introduce a 50p top rate tax.

    He hasn’t yet said what labour will do with this ‘windfall’ so wait for it!

    First it’ll be used to give every under five a nursery place for free then

    it’ll be used to create anothe 500,000 jobs in the public sector then

    it’ll be used to boost the benefits of all those poor folks who were forced into work by the tories and on and on

    I think the problem with labour economics is that they were never, as children, made to manage and save their pocket monies so teaching them some fiscal sense.

  217. 217
    Persona non grata says:

    Military redundancy stats. http://tinyurl.com/o6o5t2z

  218. 218
    Dear Darling Account says:

    The tax man paid for me to use a account to minimize my tax liabilities. Not a murmur about the morality of it from Miliband junior or Clegg’n’Cable wise act.

  219. 219
    cep says:

    Our war loans would have been paid off a lot earlier if the fucking French had paid us what we lent them.

    Fucking ungrateful c*nts..!

  220. 220
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Those people out there (The Benefits St types) are sadly the end ‘product’ of the 13 years reign of terror of deliberate dumbing down to make a whole generation ‘dependent upon the state teat’ but surreptitiously to make them vote for their continuing dependence – in numbers such that that state of affairs would continue. That ruse by the New Labour Projectmen and women ended in 2010.

  221. 221
    Yeah, Right? says:

    So REd Balls is going to enshrine it in “law” that he will “balance the books” if he becomes Chancellor.

    What happens if he fails?

    Will he arrest himself? Or will he simply flip again?

  222. 222

    What the fuck are you on?

    The controversial 50p tax rate would be brought back by a Labour government, Ed Balls has vowed Indi

    http://ind.pn/M9d6Zw

    Do one!

  223. 223
    TALKING BALLSPIKEY JOE'S SCRAP YARD says:

    Can you hurry up and let the Ukraine join the EU !

    I’ve got 50,000 old tyres here that due to EU law i can’t get rid of
    If you let them join ,they’ll have burnt the fuckers in a week , and i’d pay e’m minimum wage to do it

  224. 224
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Hollande and Europe are turning the tide. Where will it leave Cameron?
    Labour’s alternative, burnished with new credibility from François Hollande’s victory message – “Austerity need not be Europe’s fate”. Cameron looks pinned in a corner.
    Labour gains from the triumph of the French Socialist leader with his intellectually cogent rallying cry for a new direction for Europe.

    Polly Toynbee
    The Guardian, Monday 7 May 2012

    She never tires of being 100% wrong. Since she decided the SDP was the future of British politics she’s been wrong. She must be some sort of Cooler?

  225. 225

    I have not been murdered by a Muslim. Many times. :-)

  226. 226
    Ed Bum's clearner says:

    The dirty man pisses in the shower. With all that bulging fat in and around that region makes urinating into the bowl an impossible job.

  227. 227
    FFS says:

    On the contrary, it is logically possible to have a definition of a given religion which is so narrow that nobody can genuinely consider themselves a member of that religion. I don’t think that actually applies to Islam, although the bar is set significantly higher than Christiaity because like Judaism it is proscriptive by nature, whereas the New Covenant in Christianity is a piece of piss for the meek to follow at least.

    Consider the following sentence: “I am a Muslim and I love to drink alcohol”. There, you have it in writing: I am a Muslim. But the first part of the sentence is a lie, only the second is true. What about the “Muslims” that you met that drank alcohol? Is it logically possible that they were lying (possibly even to themselves) about being Muslim? Of course it is, and probably rather expedient for them to lie about it too.

    As we see in Britain and France, about 2/3rds of those that come from Muslim countries drop their religion once they move to these western countries. They often drink alcohol. We can therefore conclude that at least 2/3rds of people living in Muslim countries only claim to be Muslim, probably because it is expedient to do so.

    I find Alice’s original statement to be logically consistent. It’s rather important to conclude that because we can go on to consider the possibility that Islam oppresses the freedom of expression of hundreds of millions of people.

  228. 228
    Money in the wallet says:

    I weekly replace the money in my wallet I spent over the last few days with more from a cash machine.

    Does this count as balancing the books, eliminating the deficit, neither booming or busty, showing a binding fiscal commitment?

  229. 229
    Mrs Dromey says:

    It was to crucify my black cock loving husband.

  230. 230
    Heinz says:

    57 you say, well it takes all sorts I guess.

  231. 231
    Bill Quango MP says:

    1% of days of a Labour government had a top rate of tax.

    The BBC have yet to mention this. I expect they are keeping the facts in reserve. Ready to ambush the toadmeister live on air.

    probably.

  232. 232
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Labour in power from 1997-2010. Top rate of tax 40% until March 2010.

    57 days of the 50% income tax rate.

  233. 233
    Gordo McMong says:

    My farts smell of sugar puffs.

  234. 234
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  235. 235
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    If I say the phrase “The Tories are out of touch!” 3 times.. do I automatically get a place in the Labour shadow cabinet?

  236. 236
  237. 237
    Gordo McMong says:

    Tractor production statistics are all that matter in a globalized world Nell, this year we have increased our production to 0% growth over all tractor types. This will mean an increased 0% growth in the turnip harvest as well so we can invest 51% of GDP in to schools and hospitals. The IMF and MFI are in total agreement and have given their full support saying in the Guardian only this week that “it’s the right thing to do”.
    I shall be returning to the house shortly to inform them on this and other matters.

  238. 238
    Patriot says:

    Even if only 1% our problems would be solved if you just fucked off, I would be happier. In fact, I’d be happier if none of my problems werfe solved by you fucking off.

  239. 239
    Vote for Labour and let them finish the job says:

    Has Balls pledged to spend the Banker Bonus Tax again ?

  240. 240
    My noble lords THIS decision is just TOO important to leave to the ill-informed British people says:

    Democracy is NOT for the “little people”

  241. 241
    Mad Frankie Maude says:

    The only sensible economic plan is to nationalise as much of the economy as possible.

  242. 242
    Fabianism is an evil idea says:

    Once the press leave they will carry on planning the final solution.

  243. 243
    Back to the Seventies says:

    She was wrong way before she decided to back the SDP.

  244. 244
    Gordo McMong says:

    Three times may not be the right thing to do Dave.
    This shows only a 0% growth on previous Labour shadow cabinet speakers and taking into account the bedroom tax and deducting the cost of living crisis the phrase would have to be said at lease four times to obtain the desired result in this new age of austerity.

  245. 245
    Gordo McMong says:

    It’s the right thing to do.

  246. 246
    Kim Jong-Un says:

    That was drumming?

  247. 247
    FrankFisher says:

    That’s pretty much exactly it Patriot. I’m secretary of the local UKIP branch, working on their websites and communications too, plus holding down a job and looking after family… Dont have as much time for ranting as I used to.

    So, if anyone else can help…..? C’mon fellers, this is our country we’re talking about, get out on the streets, stop umming and arring, just bloody DO IT.

  248. 248
    Yet another Lib-Dem perv? says:

    Oh no, now Lemsip Optic has been at it too!

    http://tinyurl.com/qe5a22h

  249. 249
    Oliver Cromwell says:

    Rebellion is.

  250. 250
    Joe Public II says:

    You’re already in the LibCon Cabinet duckie, what difference would it make you being in a Liebour one?

    Fuck all.

  251. 251
    retardEd Miliband says:

    I believe the formula ith ath followth:

    (Bedwoom tax multiplied by cotht of living cwithith pluth (food bankth ^ 2) divided by authtewity) multiplied by 35 perthent of One Nay-thion minuth the money we'll loose by incweathing the top rate of tax to 50 perthent = X

    Where X ith the number of timeth you have to thay “Evil Towieth eat babieth” and then you get to thit in my thadow cabinet.

    (Cotht of living criwthith.)

  252. 252
    Miriam says:

    I’d be even happier than you if the dripping wet prick fucked off.

  253. 253
    Lance Boyle says:

    Tonight is Burns Night and I’ll wager those two fat, odious bastards, Lords Gorbals Mick and Foulkes, will be at some fancy do strutting their stuff. They’ll be nodding sagaciously and preening themselves at Burns’ words in the Immortal Memory, imagining some of the stardust has fallen on them. The irony: this pair has totally shafted the working class that put them on Labour’s greasy pole in the first place. Burns would be mortified. I can picture the pair stuffing themselves on whisky-soaked haggis then quaffing brandy and puffing cigars (no pleb no-smoking rules for them). Mick will then try to impress the assembly with a bagpipe tune (no gracenotes of course) then, suitably inebriated, the pair will be whisked home in a taxpayer-funded taxi. Burns summed them up exactly:

    Ye see yon birkie, ca’d a lord,
    Wha struts, an’ stares, an’ a’ that;
    Tho’ hundreds worship at his word,
    He’s but a coof for a’ that:
    For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
    His ribband, star, an’ a’ that:
    The man o’ independent mind
    He looks an’ laughs at a’ that

    Enjoy yourselves you fucking hypocrites.

  254. 254
    Pete from Northampton says:

    This man is Pete from Northampton also known as Eachway/EW.

    He is an unemployed mop salesman.

    He is care in the community and when he doesn’t have medication is very violent and dangerous.

    If seen don’t approach but call the police.

  255. 255
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Dave is a lying t(u)rd — but you omitted the ( )

  256. 256
    The moral of the story.. says:

    .. if you’re a young lady and you don’t want to get groped by dirty old men, don’t volunteer to work for the LibDems. Or the BBC.

  257. 257
    McAdder says:

    An RC friend of mine once told me that Father Ted was the most accurate portrayal of the Oirish priesthood she had ever seen.

  258. 258
    Spice says:

    He’s got a lovely little fondle.

  259. 259
    Don't Menschion Reeves or Burger says:

    We don’t care if it helps our careers

  260. 260
    Potts says:

    Yeah, I noticed that and the buggers seem to be zapping any posts that point out the reality. They really are a disgrace.

  261. 261
    Anon. says:

  262. 262
    Bill Quango MP says:

    BBC seem to be having some trouble pointing out Ed Balls’ magic 50% problem solving tax was only in operation for a few months of the labour terror.

    Here. Maybe I can help you, Miss perky Beeboid Interviewer.

    1. let Blinky stammer on about growth and recession and the poorest.
    Then

    2. Ask him when did Labour introduce the 50% tax rate?
    And as he evades that question give him a Paxo.

    Was it 1997?

    erm ..well the ..

    1998?

    .. the important issue is that tax rates..

    1999?

    ..issue is that tax rates represent the predistribution of..

    Was it 2000? the Millennium? Was that when the rate came in?

    ..well..I think that a 50% tax rate..

    Maybe it was 2001? or 2002?

    ..Look ..as I said we introduced..

    2003?

    ..in…in..in..introduced a top rate of banker tax to ..to ..make.. to millionaires

    2004?

    ..a.aa..and predator stockbrokers and millionaire doctors..

    2005?

    STOP IT!

    2006?

    STOP SAYING NUMBERS!

    2007? You were at the Treasury then weren’t you? Do you remember a tax rise? Apart from Labour’s 10p tax rise on the very lowest earners.

    ..Right…This interview is over…

    2008?

    ..I’m not staying ..t.t..t..to be insulted in this ..disgraceful Crick fashion…

    Ok..Mr Balls.. i’m sorry.. Please sit down… We’ll start again, Ok.

    -{big sigh..wipes sweaty face} — Ok ..

    Ok..Good ..ready? In 2009 and all the years before that there had never been a 50p tax rate had there? When did it come into force? 2010?

    ..AHHHh…[stomps down corridor}

    – Mr Balls? maybe it was 2011 that it came into effect? After Labour left office? Was it , Mr Balls? mr Balls? … Mr Balls?

    {Face camera .. big smile}

    We appear to be having some technical difficulties. Here’s Sarah Keith-Lucas with the weather.

  263. 263
    Cinderella says:

    Help,someone get him off me!

  264. 264
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Indeed.

  265. 265
    Michael Gove says:

    Our children MUST learn and sing the EU anthem everyday in our schools.

  266. 266
    Ed Balls says:

    Is a squillion eleventeen times a zillion? I need the answer to write Labour’s economic manifesto.

  267. 267
    BBC says:

    Young ladies… yuck!

    We like boys lots of lovely young boys with tight little….

  268. 268
    Gordo McMong says:

  269. 269
    Blowing Whistles says:

    FFS – What could Daniel Morgan have been about to expose before he met his untimely with an axe to his head in a pub car park some years ago … and doesn’t the silence on the whole murky matter speak volumes of some sort of huge cover up from the highest of the high?

  270. 270
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    LibDems a party of perverts

    Thorpe-pillow biting
    Cyril Smith- young boys
    Paddy Pants Down
    Simon Hughes – pathological liar about his sexuality
    Charles Kennedy -drunk
    Mark Oaten -don’t go there
    Lembit Opik -school girls
    Chris Huhne -pathological liar with crabs
    Mike Hancock -all round pervert
    Clegg -the new definition of political treachery
    Lord Reynard – another all round pervert

    This is an incredible number of perverts for a tiny political part

  271. 271
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Seen Elsewhere:
    Read the Speccie article on Doug Carswell.

    Then read the comments by Paul Oxley

    Then weep.

  272. 272
  273. 273
    They're a rum lot o' bad-'uns. says:

    You forgot David Laws. Not, technically, a pervert (although his boyfriend might know otherwise), but he did lie about his sexuality in order to steal £40,000 from us.

  274. 274
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  275. 275

    We can go on to any matter you wish (and we would probably have less difference upon your broader view) but before we do, I still maintain you are letting your sociological instincts overrule your philosophico-logical ones.

    In your first sentence, you appear to saying the same as what I think (unless there is a typo in there?) so I shall move onto the proscriptive point. I am wondering if we have a part conflation of Muslim and Islam here? You are talking of ḥalāl and ḥarām, parts of the dietary laws and in an area where theologians and jurists both form the class of scholars. But within the two main denominations there are numerous sects with a wide range of differences.

    I was in Morocco two months ago where they produce some wonderful wines. On the way back I sat next to a very interesting young lady who was from a family there but working for the London wine trade. See Quran, Surah 2 (al-Baqarah), ayah 219. In them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people… It is not always quite as clear cut as you might like to think, although I admit that alcohol is in the main prohibited.

    The Quran also states God is merciful and individuals can be forgiven of their sins if they repent. Islam recognizes major and minor sins. The former, Al-Kaba’ir, the Seven Sins, makes no mention at all of alcohol. So I come back to my contention that a minor transgression does not by definition (your words!) make a Muslim become a non-Muslim.

    Hijrah and Haj wipe off all past sins. There is no parallel to excommunication.

    I am not deliberately being awkward with you and have enjoyed our argument. But it seems sensible to take great care about using western analytical thought to examine Islam or any religion come to that. My fortune has been to experience all sorts of things around the world, some of which you may snort at.

    In Guinea I have friends who claim to be both Muslim and Christian at the same time (Al-Kaba’ir notwithstanding!). Often one parent is Muslim and the other is Christian. Even I looked askance at this claim to both, but these people really exist and in large numbers. In Brazil, I met people who worship Catholicism and pagan gods together. There are tens of millions like this there. Where are you going to put all these people in your analytical boxes? :-)

  276. 276
    Anon says:

    The other pertinent point, of course, is that tax revenue fell when the 50pc rate came in. So, Ed Balls has effectively said, today, that the first step in his plan to reduce the deficit to £0 is to reduce tax revenue.

    Whatever spending cuts he’s going to make will have to be huge. What’s going to go? The NHS? State education? I think he ought to tell us.

  277. 277
    Ed Bum with Miliband junior says:

    We stop talking about so after one year you can’t hold us to it. Similarly our web site has been updated and shows no reference to it.

  278. 278
    50%? If only! says:

    Don’t forget National Insurance tax plus employers’ National Insurance Tax, plus VAT..

  279. 279
    LEST WE FORGET says:

  280. 280
    Cwispy pants Bwyant says:

    I’ll come with you*wank*

  281. 281
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  282. 282
    Anonymous says:

    Tell me. Do Balls and Cooper still both claim for the same pair of houses on their expenses, or have they got two each now ?

  283. 283
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    Would some power the gift t’ gi ‘us
    To see ourselves as others see us
    It would from many a blunder free us
    And foolish notions

  284. 284
    Anonymous says:

    Labour will balance the UK’s books and deliver a budget surplus in the next Parliament if it wins the 2015 election, Ed Balls has said.

    Youv’e gotta laugh. Hes a bigger comedian than Gordon Brown.

  285. 285
    Mick Handycock says:

    You never know my princess.

  286. 286
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Take it to the bridge Mike!

  287. 287
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Trying again….

    In the ‘Seen Elsewhere':
    Read the Speccie article on Doug Carswell.

    Then read the comments

    Then weep.

  288. 288

    I wonder if Balls could present his view in an anatomical way rather than solely in discussion. BBC would provide him with a sword and a bucket of pitch. The audience would include Len McCluskey and other luminaries of the thinking left. Then he could illustrate how it is better to make a statement which appeals to his implacables, rather than making financial sense.

    As an illustration of how this might work:

    {studio lights to 50% – twin spots on Balls.}

    Balls: Well thank you. This is how I see my tax changes working.

    {picks up sword in right hand and cuts his left arm off at the shoulder – puts sword down on table and picks up handful of pitch and slaps it onto spurting wound.}

    *Tumultuous applause from studio audience*

    Balls: Thank you very much, but I will not stop there.

    {picks up sword again and cuts off right leg, right beneath groin – picks up another handful of pitch and slaps it onto spurting wound – hops back to table for sword which he picks up in his remaining right hand.}

    *More tumultuous applause from studio audience – Bob Crow actually smiling faintly – No, maybe it was just the light.*

    Balls: A Labour government can never stop and I will not let it!

    {unsteady, hopping slightly for balance – realises that he cannot cut his right arm off with the sword held in it at the same time.}

    Balls: I wonder if I could have some help from someone in the audience…

  289. 289
    Nigel Biggles MEP, Leader of the Lemon Party says:

    We insist on a referendum because the voters gave the wrong answer last time, and we will continue to have them until the voters get it right. That will be the last one. Clear?

  290. 290
    The Evil Empire looks to Expand says:

    The EU’s Enlargement Commissioner, Stefan Fuele, held separate talks in Kiev with the president and opposition leaders on Friday.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25894296

    With a Job Title “EU Enlargement Commissioner” which sounds like a throw back to the soviet era, he can only have one objective.

    Time for Putin to give Brussels a good kicking methinks.

  291. 291
    How creepy says:

    Is she taking the first steps to becoming another troughing cow?

  292. 292
    Jeffrey says:

    Not me, no sireeeee

  293. 293
    Peg Leg Handycock says:

    I hope Sky will invite me on as I have been getting away with it much longer thgan you Tessa.

    http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/politics/hancock-keeps-his-role-on-city-council-cabinet-1-5832940

    As you can see me and my boys still run portsmouth although i do not belong to any political party. I will keep bringing the asylum seekers in and fixing the planning permissions for my boys to house them, launder their drug profits and make millions at the same time. The libDems have made a big mistake cutting me out, now all the money will be coming to me – another villa in Spain perhaps. My boys and I, the Chief Executive and Leader of the City Council, Senior Portsmouth police officers are all in the same Lodge you know so things down here will continue just as they have; just like Chicago in the 1930. Boaz.

  294. 294
    Ian Smith (not that one, the other one) says:

    Rhodesia was never part of the OECD so I don’t see why it should have had anything to do with this OCD of yours.

  295. 295
    Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

    Don’t forget to tell your boys I want a villa in Spain Handy. Jahbulon.

  296. 296
    ED Balls says:

    Under Labour White D would pay no tax and the state would pay to keep her and her family in respectful addiction to the state.

    At the time we will take away by force of law half if what a wealth creator and hard worker makes.

    That’s fair isn’t it?

    We will of course turn a blind eye to celebrities and sportsmen avoiding our wealth tax.

  297. 297
    Mike Hancock says:

    I’m all bound for Mu Mu Land.

  298. 298
    Mike Hancock says:

    The Liberal Democrats are gonna rock ya!
    Ancients of Mu Mu!

  299. 299
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

  300. 300
    A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Lib-Pervs Party says:

    Phwoar!

    Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap….
     
     

  301. 301
    Mo Farahahahaha says:

    Shove your tax.

  302. 302
    George Sewell says:

    Next thing you know she’ll be expecting to be hung in the Tate.

  303. 303
    ED Balls says:

    We will make it our number one priority to drive, Amazon, Vodafone and Google out of Britain and place a Black and a White Dee on every Street.

    One Nation Labour.

  304. 304
    ED Balls says:

    We will make it our number one priority to dr1ve, Amazon, Vodafone and Google out of Britain and place a Black and a White Dee on every Street.

    One Nation Labour.

  305. 305
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    THIS IS WHY WE FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT OF PRISONERS TO VOTE..

  306. 306
    Lewis Hamilton says:

    You Tell them Mo.

    Fancy another round of Golf before you go out begging for yet more dosh Bono?

  307. 307
    Ah!m wondering says:

    Why is 50% fair and 45% not? Or any other %age fair or not?

  308. 308
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Looks uncannily like Saint Vince.

  309. 309
    Go suck yourself Stefan Fuele says:

    Is EU enlargement like Penis enlargement, in that it produces ever bigger dickheads?

  310. 310
    EXECRABLE ED BALLS says:

  311. 311
    Don't tell me there ain't no Sanity Claws says:

    Huhne has turned out to be yet another FibDem with a penchant for nippers.

  312. 312
    Mark Oaten says:

    The Ancients of Pu Pu

  313. 313
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Or his blackerry RIM

  314. 314
    Luke Gorgeus says:

    Is that thing related to Jabba the Hutt ?

  315. 315
    The Tweeter who wished all CH4 producers dead says:

  316. 316
    Alan Rustbucket, yet another one of note, says:

    He’s more a pianist, they say. At least it’s what they called him sounded like.

  317. 317
    EU Power Thoughts says:

    How much effort would it take to annexe B’elgium and convert it into a Muzzie version of I’srael for the UK enrichment ?

  318. 318
    White Dee says:

    Oh Bennies
    I came and I took without giving
    They’ll never take you from me
    Oh Bennies
    And you kept me and stopped me from working
    I need an iPad today
    Oh Bennies

  319. 319
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    Looks a bit like one of Lard Everard’s relatives.

  320. 320
    Bog standard says:

    Mark Oaten – don’t go there

    Where, the toilet?

  321. 321
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    https://twitter.com/by_election1/status/427071047117340672

    Any rain up there, Nigel ?

  322. 322
    EU Watch says:

    All he needs to do is switch the gas off.

    Would prefer if Putin issued the Brussels kicking one UK has exited EU, and Belgium has been kicked out of NATO.

    If you catch the drift…

  323. 323
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    No – it is much more like child abuse as the commissioners are generally pederasts.

  324. 324
    Tim Farton, President of the Cockroach Party says:

  325. 325
    June Shannon-Thompson, Honey Boo Boo's mom, says:

    Lease ah’m meanin’ t’ be, when ah look reedickolous– no matter whut they tell yuh!

    (And T May can go stick her Yankee Go Home whar the sun don’t shine– ah’m a Rebel anyway, toots!)

  326. 326
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Is your toothpaste, soap or aftershave halal? check here: http://bit.ly/17doTLv

  327. 327
    Dear Herman says:

    At what point does the EU consider the “enlargement officer” should be made redundant?

  328. 328
    The Battle for political Headlines says:

    Are we to now have Saturdays ruined by Politicians’ speeches? No doubt Balls decided that Saturday was a politician free day and there was a vacancy to be filled. I hope the rest of the twats don’t get the same idea.

  329. 329
    UKIP or bust says:

    Why, every time Goofy Ed Millionairhead opens his big flappy gob, does the stinkin’ Socialist Brodcasting Company make it top of the news?

    Oh, I seem to have answered my own question.

  330. 330
    The Battle for political Headlines says:

    Are we to now have Satυrdays ruined by Politicians’ speeches? No doubt Balls decided that Satυrday was a politician free day and there was a vacancy to be filled. I hope the rest of the twats don’t get the same idea.

  331. 331
    Lord Stansted says:

    wtf is Jasmin Beckett?

  332. 332
    My name is Joe you Twat says:

  333. 333
    Mr Nobody says:

    Vote Tory where they have a chance of winning a seat, vote Ukip where they are better placed to beat Labour. Hell, if it’s a Lib/Lab seat then vote Lib Dem. Needs must and all that…

  334. 334
    Mili Ed says:

    We brought in a 50p tax rate at the end of our last government Ed and we lost the election.

    Why are you repeating history?

  335. 335
    Jeffrey says:

    Not toll enough, you didnt freeze to death, fatty

  336. 336
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Correction: Laws ‘raised’ the somewhat convenient ‘anti-homophobia card’ in an attempt to conceal his wrongdoing; in a similar way that many other people raise the ‘anti-this’nthatism’ card to protect (wrongly) themselves from being called criminals.

    Many Criminals use their association with a religion to stave off accusations of criminality – some very suckeggsfully too, but still wrongly.

  337. 337
    Centre Parting says:

    A Labour government would restore the 50p tax rate for those earning over £150,000, shadow chancellor Ed Balls says in a speech to the Fabian Society. 1222

    BBC News website -Look at the picture demonising the City.

  338. 338
    RED LEN says:

  339. 339
    RomaBob.... Buy Beeg Issue! says:

    Steady on there, he has been quiet for a while, wonder why?

  340. 340
    Bashar al-Assad says:

    Alawites, who regard themselves as Muslim, drink alcohol.

  341. 341
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Watched BBC News Channel earlier where a “beeboid” was interviewing somebody from CBI or Institute of Directors regarding Balls’ intention to raise income tax back to 50p for those earning over £150,000(or as the BBC likes to say-forgetting that most of them earn over this….the rich and millionaires). “let’s face it,” said the BBC man, “there is no proof that raising taxes costs jobs…it’s just scaremongering isn’t it ?” Surely the riposte should have been in french in answer to THAT one….

  342. 342
    Just askin says:

    …….What is the Islamic view on opium and cannabis?

  343. 343
    Blowing Whistles says:

    cep – try and think about how those war loans were engineered – basically I am trying to get you to look a bit deeper than you have been. Was there a huge financial gain to be made out of the war and if so who made the ‘big bucks’ in the ‘long run’?

    … Umm … just thought as I write …there’s an analogy in there about jumping over hurdles i.e. who won the biggest financial prize when crossing the line eventually and who were the losers – isn’t it kinda like showa business?

  344. 344
    Potts says:

    So he arrests a shoplifter. I am not weeping. What’s the big deal?

  345. 345
    Vote for Labour and let them finish the job says:

    Correct…it worked in the 1970’s when top rate tax was an eye-watering 98%….and for those old enough to remember there was what the media called a “Brain-Drain” to USA and overseas as the entrepreneurs and profitable private businesses queued up to leave Britain and how did it ALL end ? See the link below

    http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/cabinetpapers/themes/sterling-devalued-imf-loan.htm

  346. 346
    Dweeb says:

    Does anyone else think Black Dee is hot? I reckon she could be a right scorcher with a bit of a clean-up.

  347. 347
    Some good does come out of turning the telly offfff says:

    It’s easy, do what I did change channels, when the announcer mentions political crap, otherwise I turn the telly off, both save me smashing my own telly to pieces.

  348. 348
    TOP BBC COMMENT ON 50P STORY says:

    Have you noticed that the BBC has completely removed any links to its story earlier today about Balls’ pledge to balance the books by 2020 ?

    It’s not on the main page, or the UK page, or the politics page or even the “Have Your Page”.

    It’s as if the BBC has air-brushed it out of existence.

  349. 349
    RomaBob.... Buy Beeg Issue! says:

    I think the LimpDems are looking forward to getting themselves out of Government, not so much scrutiny of their sexual activities then…..

  350. 350
  351. 351
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    I agree with you Jasmine…. it went almost pitch black at around 2pm to-day and the sky was filled with thunder and lightning and massive great hail stones fell from the sky…..I blame Cameron myself……

  352. 352
    RomaBob.... Buy Beeg Issue! says:

    Comments all over the place today…………

    Balls and LimpDems getting people excited?

  353. 353
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    Who now remembers the ‘ selective employment tax ‘ , a brainwave of Labour during the 1960s and ‘ 70s , a tax deliberately aimed at employers in the service industry to discourage them from taking on more workers.
    Probably the only time a government has deliberately cause unemployment through taxation !

  354. 354
    FFS says:

    Once again, splitting hairs.

    You didn’t mean to suggest that the Muslims you were drinking with were being led into sin by your presence and that therefore there alcohol habits could be extremely infrequent and therefore considered irrelevant. You intended to suggest they regularly drank alcohol. Therefore they regularly sinned against Islam. Therefore they could not be Muslims, because how can you logically claim to be a believer in a faith if you habitually ignore what that faith proscribes?

    The people you describe are Cultural Muslims – they are not observant and only consider themselves part of the religion through family ties for the purposes of hatch, match and despatch.

    I’m not interested, for the purposes of argument, in what people describe themselves as. I’m am interested in how they actually are. Furthermore, I am not interested in putting people in boxes – quite the reverse, I’m more interested in why people put themselves in boxes in which they don’t belong. As a priest once said to me “Thank God for Atheism. It gives the miserable sinners somewhere to call home”.

  355. 355
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Was your partner away for two nights?

  356. 356
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Just mention oil and everyone will make it their business

  357. 357
    Wars were fought says:

    ….There was a lot of boarded up windows with nice graffiti on them,apt for the third world!

  358. 358
    UKIP voter says:

    I blame the thunder on gay marriage.

  359. 359
    Grandma Moses says:

    You should have popped up to Benefits Street – lots of old boilers on offer dally.

  360. 360
    Darwin23 says:

    There are also other excellent ways to raise revenue. For instance the Robin Hood Tax and ensuring that big business pays their fair share would contribute substantially to government revenue. We could also get rid of trident.

    With so many options on the table it is frankly obscene how the poor and most vulnerable have been forced to carry the burden

  361. 361
    White rabbit says:

    Publicity shot for Nosferatu

  362. 362
    Citizens Arrest says:

    …That,thank goodness,is never going to happen!

  363. 363
    Potts says:

    If you wanted a boiler you could have asked someone like Angela Eagle or Harperson to stay.

  364. 364
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    Someone should tell Cameron & Nobsore that Denmark has always been one of the most entrepreneurial countries in the world despite having a top tax rate of 63%.

    They should also understand that business people do not “make” money, they only get it by taking it from other businesses and from consumers. That the rich pay so much tax is not because they have “created” their wealth, it is simply because over the last 30-odd years the benefits of growth have largely gone to the top 1%.

  365. 365
    White rabbit says:

    Till we have built Jerusalem,
    In England’s green & pleasant Land

  366. 366
    Just wondering says:

    Any handguns up there, Nigel ?

  367. 367
    JH3984902389032 says:

    Ha Ha!

    If you did that Eddie boy, it means that at least half your clients voters, whether they are they benefit-street types or public sector non-jobbers, will need to be wrenched from the net taxpayer’s teat and thrown into the evil world of the private sector, aka ‘reality’.

    They will never vote for you again as revenge for putting them through such a horrid, horrid experience. You had a ‘deal’ with them, and you broke it!

  368. 368
    In the interests of balance says:

    Finally somebody has the balls (no pun intended) to face-off against the Rich rather than punishing the unemployed and the working poor.

    Most economists say that despite the 2007 crash, the rich have not only been untouched financially, their wealth has significantly increased.

    Historically, this always happens after a major economic shock – the rich consolidate even more of the country’s wealth in their pockets.

    Personally I’d like to see more punitive measures directed at the people whose greed caused the Crash in the first place.

    Yes – this is a class war – and the 99% are losing at every turn

  369. 369
    Jack Ketch says:

    Freude trinken alle Wesen
    An den Brüsten der Natur;
    Alle Guten, alle Bösen
    Folgen ihrer Rosenspur.
    Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,
    Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;
    Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben

    Sucking at breasts, little worms—-That’s a bit Lib-Dem isn’t it?

  370. 370
    Jizz Buckett says:

    I literally thought the world was going to end.

    I literally thought it was caused by global warming.

    The world did not end but I’m still going to use my childish misguided belief that it was about to end to promote something else I know fuck all about.

  371. 371
    Lard Rennet says:

    Glad you enjoyed it

  372. 372
    EU Penis Enlargement says:

    The EU has brought peace in Europe.

  373. 373
    Give me a chance "Cinderella"?? says:

    Can we take as a given that after 2015 the lib dummies will cease to exist. That’s if they even make it to 2015

    Lembit Opik ‘called me Cinderella… then he tried to kiss me': Schoolgirl activist’s claims heap more embarrassment on Lib Dems

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2545603/Lembit-Opik-called-Cinderella-tried-kiss-Schoolgirl-activists-claims-heap-embarrassment-Lib-Dems.html#ixzz2rQkRLxXA

  374. 374
    Bemused says:

    A lot more than half mate. Don’t forget you have to pay VAT as well.

  375. 375
    Tachybaptus says:

    I don’t think the 50p rate is designed to actually bring in more cash (and some analyses indicate it may bring in less as avoidance increases – we’ll have to wait and see).

    The 50p rate is nothing more than a political totem – an indication that Labour recognise the rich are getting away with murder, and that they (unlike the Tories) think that it’s wrong.

    This signal to the rich (and to the Public in general) is crucial – it’s a genuine attempt to say “we really are all in it together”.

    Another political gesture would be to start jailing the worst offenders from the The City and the Banks – to demonstrate that society will not tolerate their greed and fraud.

    The Americans have done it, as has the government in Iceland. Meanwhile people like Boris Johnson make excuses for them, and Osborne fights for their bonuses. It’s disgusting

  376. 376
    Psyche the Dog says:

    I am not interested in your sperm spam either

  377. 377
    Labour Troll Programming HQ says:

    Your message has been audited and found deficient. You have not mentioned cost of living, thatcher or one nation.
    Please immediately shut down communications outlets and systems and report to Labour central office for reprogramming.

  378. 378
    Ah! say says:

    Benefits street residents to be given houses with gardens so they can grow their own weeds.

  379. 379
    White rabbit says:

    Mrs. Rabbit and I have stopped umming although still arring. Good luck

  380. 380
    Ah! Guess says:

    Benefits Street: Seven charged.

    Eight refuse to pay.

  381. 381
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Benefits ? Yes please :)

  382. 382
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Christians have had their moments with Muslims which really was against their religous tenets and Christian sects have done very un-Christian things to groups who do not follow their own particular brand of Christianity.

  383. 383
    FFS says:

    All of these people in the public eye have a personality disorder. They are never wrong. We are wrong, reality is wrong, the truth is wrong but they are SO superior they can never be wrong.

    Look at Chris Huhne. The fact that he was found guilty of crime and put in prison hasn’t even slowed the self-serving drivel coming out of his mouth.

    They consider themselves superior to their fellow man, the law and even to God himself.

    Only people with this personality disorder would ever want to be politicians. Nobody else would put their private life and their family on the line like that. Politicians are filtered out stage by stage until only the arrogant nutters remain.

  384. 384
    REALITY CHECK says:

  385. 385
    Ah! Believe says:

    Mr Balls

    Your comment is awaiting moderation

  386. 386
    What a Pantomime says:

    Given that Opik called her Cinderella can we presume that he must have got first dibs as Hancock called her princess and that could only have happened after she was married

  387. 387
    Anonymous says:

  388. 388
    Owned Joan's says:

    Empty vassals make the most noise.

  389. 389
    Lemsip Ropedick says:
  390. 390
    Jack Ketch says:

    I always wondered what happened to those two rats that pulled the pumpkin-coach.

  391. 391
    Anonymous says:

    Varieties you tit

  392. 392
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Yup, it was a funny series, and I can well imagine it could be fairly true to life in a very rural isolated part of Ireland.

  393. 393
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    UKIP candidate claims J*ws murdered each other in the Holocaust. Please don’t let this odd party anywhere near power http://bit.ly/1mGlc6I

  394. 394

    My original remark was addressed to x on the previous page and I reproduce it in full: I drink beer or wine with many Muslims and agree totally with what you say.

    He said inter alia: The situation is not helped by bleeding heart lefties who make things ten times worse by pandering to all their demands.

    Alice said: Surely consuming alcohol makes them non-Muslims, by definition.

    Logic chopping, what you are accusing me of, is its own antonym. I remarked on this here only recently. You wish to use it in the sense that I am arguing improperly, I am defending myself on the basis that I am arguing properly using statements which are correct.

    You have assumed you know what I meant and now we discover you were mistaken all along. Where did the word regularly creep in? With you, not me! I have drunk with different people at different times. Not the same people regularly. Therefore you have distorted my argument and built a whole unnecessary edifice on foundations of sand.

    It is good of you to define these people for them. The term Cultural Muslim is not itself universally accepted. Wonder how they might classify you?

    I’m am interested in how they actually are. Furthermore, I am not interested in putting people in boxes – quite the reverse… From this point and onwards, I am in complete agreement with you.

  395. 395
    Lemming Optic says:

    I can send Cinderella if it helps?

  396. 396

    Ha ha!

    Why don’t the Labour party allow a referendum then?

    Still balls is saying he will do it all the right way as if he had never done it wrongly before.

    Self-delusionment. It is better than cocaine, isn’t it?

  397. 397
    Heil Cameron says:

    Good on you Ed Balls. This is why the Tories hate him. They know he will be better than Osborne. GAME OVER. May as well call the election now.

  398. 398
    FFS says:

    Well I’m not sure we can really say there was a cover-up. The facts are more or less known. I think the case exposed the reality that the Met is riddled with drug-related corruption from top to bottom and that some members of the police may be capable of commiting murder to cover it up.

    However, nothing has been done about it, by this government or the previous.

    The Met has always been like that.

  399. 399
    Lord Stansted says:

    The BBC loves the CBI – the employers’ trade union, as the beeboids put it. As a real business man (I don’t employ anyone – got to keep costs down) the CBI means fuck all to me.

  400. 400
    Lord Stansted says:

    That’s supposed to be a comment to 336.

  401. 401
    Paying most of the tax says:

    I believe its already well established that the top 10% pay 50% of the tax income. Getting away with murder just shows ignorance. I fucking worked hard for years studied at my own cost and finally got a good position. I did that on my own so you and the rest of you idiots including shite Dee can just fuck off.

    By the way I also do voluntary work and give to 4 charities as well as regularly making sandwiches for the homeless

    So double fuck off.

  402. 402

    David Ward claims the Holocaust never happened. Maybe the whole world never happened and this is just Ah! and Bill Quango putting on a show for no one.

  403. 403
    FFS says:

    If I have misunderstood then please do clarify.

    Are you saying that these Muslims were regular drinkers (with you or without you present), or are you saying that they likely only drank once, in your presence?

    You might want to think at least one step ahead before answering that question ;-)

  404. 404
    Anonymous says:

    Haha good one nice wind up. If that’s what you honestly think then you need to get medical help as soon as possible.

  405. 405
    Agony auntie says:

    Well shag someone half decent then you fat twat or perhaps get advice from the lib dummies as they seem to be up to speed on this

  406. 406
    Anybody know? says:

    Is there a form of words that need to be said to make a citizen’s arrest? I would like to know so that if Blair were to be in this area, then I should be prepared to take the action. Others, too, might find it helpful.

  407. 407
    Labour destroyers of worlds making the pips squeak says:

    I remember as my dad was in that situation and we were on our way to Oz

  408. 408
    I want my subscription back says:

    Geedos site s fuckedcagain

  409. 409
    you really don't get trying to get people on your side do you. says:

    July is the 100th anniversary of WW1 millions died in that from around the world, that anniversary will be remembered by this country, I will be voting UKIP and if any party has you involved in them then I know I wouldn’t vote for them for having you commenting for them

  410. 410
    Owin Jones says:

    William Powell is the LibDem AM who’s been accused of touching up a woman now! Crumbs. Their party’s had it.

  411. 411
    Anonymous says:

    The second comment in the comments section

  412. 412
    Thank you says:

    I so enjoy your posts, cat.

  413. 413
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  414. 414
    Tony and Cherie says:

    Hollande gets rid of Valerie Treiweiller never trust a Socialist,Justine and Yvette better watch out,Big Steph is back on the scene.

  415. 415
    Lard Everard says:

  416. 416
    If you meet Laws .... says:

    Simpering smug individual, this one.

  417. 417
    American "You're so fat" jokes for Diane Abbott says:

    You’re so fat, when you get cut, you bleed gravy.

    You’re so fat, your blood type is Rocky Road.

    You’re so fat, you have your own post code.

    You’re so fat, your belt size is equator.

    You’re so fat, even Dora couldn’t explore you.

    You’re so fat, you gave Dracula diabetes.

    You’re so fat, when you twerk, you turn into a wrecking ball.

  418. 418
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

  419. 419
    Blind Pugh says:

    I do me hearty.

  420. 420

    @CO5

    Re: Posse comitatus and other matters

    http://bit.ly/1f1uB60

  421. 421
    William Blake says:

    It was a spiritual aspiration, not a planning application

  422. 422

    But he has decided to stay with Rottweiler Treiweiller.

  423. 423
    Axe the telly tax says:

    The BBC report on Balls seech contains this gem

    “The last Labour government raised the upper tax band from 40% to 50% in 2010 in response to the recession, but the coalition cut it to 45% last April.”

    Its correct of course but it would have been more true to say days before they lst power. Just like they would have done if it were the Tories

  424. 424
    Pizza man says:

    Lot of old boilers at Labour HQ

  425. 425

    Off to the village restaurant for a peppersteak.

    It is cold enough to freeze a witch’s tit here. See you later.

  426. 426
    Gordon Brown says:

    There is nothing that you could say to me now that I could ever believe.

  427. 427
    Axe the telly tax says:

    The BBC report on Balls seech contains this gem

    “The last Labour government raised the upper tax band from 40% to 50% in 2010 in response to the recession, but the coalition cut it to 45% last April.”

    Its correct of course but it would have been more true to say days before they lst power. Just like they would have done if it were the Tories..

  428. 428
    Nick Clegg Can't Dance says:

  429. 429
    Balls echo chamber says:

    Not a good turn out given that probably half are just sheltering from the rain

  430. 430
    Dweeb says:

    6pm: I notice they have let in several hundred more comments, nearly all the childish “All in it together eh Dave?” type, while obviously binning anything that attempts to show the truth.

    I don’t care about Dave but I do care about fukin awful journalism.

  431. 431

    You are the one called FFS.

    It is painfully carefully recorded here. For the most part I only saw these people once. You have created alternatives of which I cannot answer to either.

    It must be all these multiple choice questions which they give the kids nowadays. Closed choices – closed minds.

    Anyway, as I said further down, I’m off to the village for some grub.

  432. 432
    Ma­qbo­ul says:

    @ “The British Public”

    If that is so, then Palestine is none of our business so why does not a moment go by without some fucker slagging off Israel and weeping over the plight of the arabs in Gaza?

  433. 433
    Small Business says:

    Agreed. The only guy I have ever met who’d had anything to do with the CBI was a total spaz who ran a vibrant and dynamic organisation into the ground in less than 18 months of taking over.

  434. 434
    All of us who have not access to Google says:

    Thanks for the history lesson, professor.

  435. 435
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Samantha says I am not allowed in the back door with muddy shoes on, why?

  436. 436
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Even the Fabians, bless their little cotton socks, have a certain threshold of bollocks which when past means you are out.

    They must be feeling really stupid now to realize that they have been outdone at their own game by Ed Balls for so many years.

  437. 437
    Fabians are EVIL says:

    The latest crazy plan from Balls was made to the Fabian Society who lapped up his deranged uttering – that they even invited the twat to speak to them should be a warning in itself of their true intent.

  438. 438
    US Watch says:

    You’re so fat, I’m going to have to fuck you in sections.

  439. 439
    Mr Hancock says:

    Good man,it’s the right thing to do.

  440. 440
    Podiceps says:

    Obviously this is the fake Tachybaptus. When I was using the name before he stole it I said many stupid things, but this is completely deranged.

  441. 441
    Balls echo chamber says:

    Brown?

  442. 442
    Mr Potato Head says:

    It also resulted in two years of very low growth under the coalition and we only started to get decent growth again when Osborne cut the tax to 45%. Now the cretin wants to raise it to 50% again. Clearly lessons are never learned when it comes to socialists and economics.

  443. 443
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Was it a porn film?

  444. 444
    Just Asking says:

    What about that ginger boiler you hang around with?

  445. 445
    John from Hull says:

    Whatever – the green belt is a Labour achievement, and we intend to build upon it.

  446. 446
    UKIP or bust says:

    It’s not only the Fabians who lapped his lies, the BBC have been lapping and swallowing it too.

  447. 447
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    The bit of posse comitatus I was referring to really is that where the government cannot use its forces against the people, but the people retain the right to form their own militia – in some circumstances to restore order in the homeland as well as defend.

    To your point – unless all out civil war has broken out then there is no real case for the army to be invoked at all. The military have a very specific role to play which is generally incompatible with the civilian world.

    Questioning the wisdom of the relationship between Army, Crown and Parliament / People is a healthy constitutional discussion. Whilst the Crown has served as a good and impartial balance on the tri-state power structures, of late it seems to have been failing somewhat in its duties.

    The republican question is certainly not moot. If the UK continues on its current path of EU integration then this question will come to the fore fairly soon. As a member state of a Federal European Union the Crown is redundant and an unnecessary burden. The Crown will be aware of that.

    The political cost and effect that deploying military against civilians should be the paramount reason in staying that option.

    The London Riots: Irritating, lots of property destroyed – but people were not killing each other. Property can be repaired, and things will move on.

    The only reason why those riots got so far out of control was because the Police did not take decisive action early, and regular folk were not in a position to defend their property from the marauding gangs.

    As a comparison: In similar riots which take place in the US from time to time, the only buildings which get torched are those where the people occupying do not have the means to defend. Rioters stay away if there is someone with a semi-auto rifle exercising their constitutional rights.

    The London riots do very much make the case for restoration of private gun ownership rights, and the police still have very deep questions to answer as to why they stood back and let it happen.

    The Libertarian angle here is really on the no harm principal. For the state to run the risk of killing a few to save lives is unacceptable.

    With some study you will learn that in similar situations involving civilian unrest, the death count is increased by the introduction of military and para-militarily forces. The talk in the UK of sending the army in to deal with a bunch of young ethnic morons who are stealing mars bars and setting fire to furniture shops really reflects the deep Marxist traits that put property above people, and also shows a sign of immaturity on matters of such debate.

    It should be noted that the police were able to restore order quickly without the use of armed response units.

  448. 448
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Do not mis-interpret what I say above as implying that your debate is immature. I am really referring to the populist notion that was being put to Farage, and Farage’s candid response.

  449. 449
    The Undergraduate says:

    I will be coming out of uni with 50K of debt.

    If I work myself silly to clear this off early I will be paying higher rate tax plus NI as well as paying into a compulsory pension.

    I think I will go and live in Australia.

  450. 450
    Jimmy says:

    We did. You lost.

  451. 451
    Podiceps says:

    Washed down with a couple of bottles of Klinec Medana Mora, I hope.

  452. 452
    a real 50p joke says:

    Denise Royle: Dad, stop fiddling with yourself.
    Jim Royle: I’m not fiddling with meself, I paid a quid for these underpants and I’ve got about 50 pence worth stuck up me arse.
    Barbara Royle: She’s right. If you’re not picking you’re arse, you’re pecking you’re teeth.
    Jim Royle: I’ll pick what I want in me own house and when she gets her own house she can pick what she likes – her nose, her arse, her teeth. Just go and treat yourself.
    Barbara Royle: Oh, I’m ashamed of this family, I am really.
    Is this interesting? | Share this

  453. 453
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Pwobably thomething to do with the cotht of living cwithith cauthed by the bedwoom taxth and the authtewity, which ith too far, too fatht.

    One Nay-thion.

  454. 454
    Politics is the new religion with its equivilance in extremists and fundamentalists says:

    its bad enough having them all over our TVs on Sundays minus their ties obviously.

  455. 455
    Owen Jones says:

    Menage a trois !

  456. 456
    Ed Ballsup says:

    I would if I were you, because you know that pension you’ll be paying into? Well, I’m going to steal it.

    Gordon taught me that one! Tee hee!

  457. 457
    an awkward bastard says:

    Dear Dave

    Now that you have been won around to the benefits of fracking will you please place on the internet all documents you have read on the subject so that we can follow your reasoning and judgement.

  458. 458
    Politics is the new religion with its equivilance in extremists and fundamentalists says:

    To be fair I would pay a kings ransom to employ Balls as his advice is invaluable. Simply do the opposite to what he says and hey presto success.

  459. 459
    Labour (for shirkers, not workers) says:

    The solution is to NOT work yourself silly paying it off early.

    Just laze around and skive.

    Labour: we hate strivers, but we LOVE skivers.

    (PS: we also hate people who succeed in life. Damn them. We’ll screw all of them.)

  460. 460
    FFS says:

    So basically you saw these people once, have assumed they were Muslim, but saw them drink alcohol only once. So at least we have established that your personal experience of them is not really useful to us.

    So that really leaves us with the comment that Alice made in the first place: “Surely consuming alcohol makes them non-Muslims, by definition”.

    You appear to be claiming that merely stating you are a Muslims makes you a Muslim, or perhaps merely being in the right place at the right time makes you a Muslim.

    I would dispute that, and for good reason. I see the likes of Richard Dawkins making the same logical error all the time: “Look at the Spanish Inquisition! They tortured and murdered! Christianity is evil I tell you!” I would point out that torture and murder are specifically outlawed in Christianity by the Ten Commandments, so the fact that they claimed they were acting as Christians does not mean they actually were. I would say they were acting inspite of Christianity (and likely most had never read the New Testament).

    It is not enough to simply claim you are part of a religion. I could claim I am a member of the Garrick Club but I am not. If behaviour flies in the face of a stated belief we must consider that the claim being made is likely false.

  461. 461
  462. 462
    Le Sphinx says:

    Vous coulé nos cuirassés!

  463. 463
    The Socialist Champagne says:

    We only say that because the millionaires on the Labour front bench all inherited their wealth

  464. 464
    FFS says:

    Quality website. Makes the Sunday Sport look credible.

  465. 465
    FFS says:

    Shall we also tell him the population is only 6million and that there are no black or asian people there, or are we going to take a complex set of differences between the two countries and cherry pick that single element that might support the dog poo that you write?

  466. 466
    Sally Bercow says:

    Well, this is the headline that keeps on giving…HOLLANDE SAUCE SPLIT!

  467. 467
    McAdder says:

    The next Labour leader.

  468. 468
    an awkward bastard says:

    Can I see the inventory for the Elysee palace the day Ms rottweiller moved in and the inventory taken today please.

  469. 469
    Shome mishtake says:

    Shurely weed?

  470. 470
    Dr Owen Jones says:

    The common carotid artery is a paired structure, meaning that there are two in the body, one for each half. The left and right common carotid arteries follow the same course with the exception of their origin. The right common carotid originates in the neck from the brachiocephalic trunk. The left arises from the aortic arch in the thoracic region. The bifurcation into the external and internal carotid arteries occurs at the upper border of the thyroid cartilage, at around the level of the fourth cervical vertebra.

  471. 471
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    For 1.2% of the time #Labour was in Office 97-10, top rate income tax was 50%.Ed’s policy is #Balls.

  472. 472
    cep says:

    Clean your chap before you enter the tunnel of mud.

  473. 473
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Interesting news about HSBC:

    http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/hsbc-faces-70bn-capital-hole-133705984.html

    The bank appears to be imposing capital controls on it’s customers, restricting the amount of cash they may withdraw from their accounts unless the customer can provide proof of a legitimate reason for such a withdrawal.

    Cutting away any other bollocks (including Ed Balls) – that means they are preparing to avert a bank run and might in fact be looking to do a bail-in with customers money. Similar to what happened in Cyprus, but a bit better planned.

    In any case, if HSBC have a fundamental liquidity problem, then any talk of a recovery is equally invalid, as if there are concerns over this institution that will have negative economic implications globally.

  474. 474
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Interesting news about H’SBC:

    http://tinyurl.com/pnfj998

    The bank appears to be imposing capital controls on it’s customers, restricting the amount of cash they may withdraw from their accounts unless the customer can provide proof of a legitimate reason for such a withdrawal.

    Cutting away any other bollocks (including Ed Balls) – that means they are preparing to avert a bank run and might in fact be looking to do a bail-in with customers money. Similar to what happened in Cyprus, but a bit better planned.

    In any case, if H’SBC have a fundamental liquidity problem, then any talk of a recovery is equally invalid, as if there are concerns over this institution that will have negative economic implications globally.

  475. 475
    The public says:

    Dave, who we regard as a mongoloid, also apparently drinks alcohol.

  476. 476
    Shaite BBc says:

    Ed Balls – I will pick Gordon Brown as my mentor

  477. 477
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    Who in their right mind would waste his Saturday morning to go and listen to that twat speak , it takes a special kind of socialist anorak !

  478. 478
    retardEd Miliband says:

    My £2million home (paid for by other people) appeared out of no-where.

    But I detherve it. Each according to their needth.

    Even though I’ve never had a real job. Not one.

    (Cotht of living cwithith.)

  479. 479
    Solvent says:

    The second a bank tries to stop me removing any of my own cash is the second I take the lot out.

  480. 480

    And why did I know it was you all along?

    Just back but with guests so will answer your other query later.

  481. 481
    An Education Wasted says:

    You don’t come out with any debt.

    I am amazed that some undergraduates can not grasp this simple fact.

  482. 482
    Barroso and Bono...Hide your wallets says:

  483. 483
    Those two are figureheads for global corruption says:

    Experts at amassing great personal wealth (tax free) while giving away other people’s money.

  484. 484
    White rabbit says:

    To be fair, I think they also write one letter a week, dictated to their secretary..er I mean wife. And they also spend a bit of time grandstanding and plotting.

  485. 485
    Fabians are EVIL says:

    That’s because so many of the BBC bastards ARE Fabians

  486. 486
    Jimmy says:

    “but with guests”

    Hypocrite.

    Send them home.

  487. 487
    Jimmy says:

    “UKIP has a weekend of action planned”

    Is that wise at your age?

  488. 488

    They went home of their own accord after a pleasant evening of conversation. One is Scottish (when he wants to be…), the other is Balkan.

  489. 489
    Sgt Oddball says:

    Jeeping fook, that’s quite a change of tack from the party whose Treasury Secretary departed office leaving ‘I’m afraid there is no money left’ eh.

  490. 490

    Object to your cavalier use of the designation us. On whose other behalf do you purport to represent?

    I saw most once or twice. Not with every person mentioned did we drink alcohol each time. With at least one we did not drink alcohol at all but he told me he had drunk it before. I suppose, to keep things nice for your sensibilities, he might have been lying – how the hell should I know? I do not accept your border guard approach. I am talking of between two and three dozen people in all. They either told me they were Muslim or, with a name like Mohamed, Ibrahim, Ibrahima, Amir, Mustafa etc., I suppose I kinda guessed it.

    May I remind you that you are the one who said I’m am interested in how they actually are. Presumably that is only sometimes?

    You accuse me of logic chopping and then come out with this. I have to acknowledge you do have considerable chutzpah. The more so having branded millions of people as Cultural Muslims.

    I have no quarrel to pick with you on the Dawkins issue so we can put that away.

    Your Garrick club point is simply not relevant here and smacks of positivism. Given that most religious adherents are indoctrinated by their parents in any religion, at what exact point do they cease being proselytised and attain adherent status? No doubt you will tell me because, as sure as fuck, I do not know.

    You had better give me a theory of religious adherence and then we can recalibrate this whole thing, assuming I can live with it.

    Given that you have gone suspiciously quiet on my Quran specifics, I imagine you understandably find yourself in difficulties here as well.

  491. 491
    A Smackhead from Benefits Street says:

    I agree with you.

    I do not think the Police are doing nearly enough to tackle the problem.

  492. 492
    JH3984902389032 says:

    I got the Viz annual for Christmas, sadly it is now running out of steam and aside from some inspired ‘top tips’ it is quite shite.

    However, time was it had superb satire of the modern left and the watermelon fellow travellers, particularly in ‘The Modern Parents’. Check out this superb lampooning of the modern green ‘movement’.

    Jasmin, you are a simple minded twat.

  493. 493
    SPIKEY JOE'S SCRAP YARD says:

    WRONG Thirty years ago people voted on membership of a common market !

    Nobody in this country has EVER been given a vote on E U membership You Wanker


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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