January 24th, 2014

LibDems Advertise for Hands On Role at JobCentre


305 Comments

  1. 1
    Jack Ketch says:

    As observed yesterday–Lib_Dem hand jobs in Portsmouth. Lib-Dem Snow jobs in the Lords.

  2. 2
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    I’d rather live on benefits street.

  3. 3
    Lib Dems says:

    Hey, Hey, Hey

  4. 4

    Why does it ask details of current salary for unemployed people?

    Just askin’?

  5. 5

    I was struck by that Handycock son, though.

  6. 6
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Why don’t they just put out classified on Craigslist.

    That is the best way to hook up for a dogging session or find a whore isn’t it ?

    The sickest aspect of the Liberal Democrat mindset is they seem to enjoy preying on the weak and vulnerable.

    Cyril Smith nanny service for troubled boys anyone ?

  7. 7
    Selection Board says:

    ..Come in Miss Abawayo.
    Don’t be nervous. We won’t bite!

    Now..TThis is Mr Hughes. Mz Trimmingham. Mr Huhne. Mr Handcock and lord Rennard. Mr Oaten and Mr Opik.

    Shall we begin?

  8. 8
    Mustapha Djinn says:

    With so many shirt lifters in the dumb limps I think that men would have cause to reject the offer as well.

  9. 9
    Miss Abawayo says:

    My invite said a Mr Thorpe. Is he not available today?

  10. 10
    Nasty old Liberal. says:

    Will they be required to talk dirty over the phone?

  11. 11
    focus puller says:

    You can read that? Respect.

  12. 12
    Sir William Wayde says:

    A job in telesales: the penalty for not paying attention at school.

  13. 13
    Scott of the Arse Antics. says:

    What became of Rinka?

  14. 14
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    He wears spectacles held together with chewing gum, dear.

  15. 15

    That Chris Davies MEP: Is he a poof or will he take that golden boner home to a ladyfriend and proceed to stab her with it?

  16. 16
    Lib Dems says:

    Thank you for applying for this prestigious role working for the Lib Dems to produce a better fairer role for our leaders.

    We expect an instinctive smile when greeting, ready to get down on ones knees when circumstances warrant it and dressed for the occasion.

    We our social liberal in relationship. Discretion is necessary.

    One must recognize emotions can ride high and must be forgotten about when leaving the room.

    Any late discussion needed, I, your servant, Lord Rennard, will be available.

  17. 17
    Persona non grata says:

    Scraping the bottom of the human barrel.

  18. 18
    Love Productions says:

    ^_^

  19. 19
    Mr Scott says:

    He’ll be busy with me and Cyril.

  20. 20
    Nasty old Liberal. says:

    Craiglist ya say?!

  21. 21
    Handycock says:

    Fancy a rogering, you naughty girl?

    Please give me a chance you never know princess XXX

  22. 22
    anon says:

    Your programme seems to have given the ‘medja’ something to talk about, Richard.

  23. 23
    Nasty old Liberal. says:

    Is that like scraping the barrel of the human bottom?

  24. 24
    NO WAY you Pervs says:

    Why would any woman supply a LibDem with her intimate details to work for them?

    That’s like supplying a r@pist with name, address, hobbies, clubs, passions, friends and character resume.

  25. 25
    Tom Catesby. says:

    What do ya mean cat?!

  26. 26
    They are all Dodgy as F+ck says:

    Why don’t they employ ex cons? That way they recycle their own

  27. 27
    Express Photographer says:

    So was I.

  28. 28
    Wiki - looking rather Lib Demy here - put me down as anything goes... says:

    No trace of a wife.

  29. 29
    BBC Red Bottom says:

    Hey! Get your own ex-cons. The liberal ones are ours.

    PS- Dibs on Denis McShane for a Springwatch Special.

  30. 30
    Love Productions says:

    I didn’t spend the best years of my life at Wellington, Birmingham and then the USA, haggling the conditions of my visa and arguing with them that growing pot in one’s wardrobe, as a sixteen year-old, doesn’t make one a threat to their national security, only to not make programmes.

  31. 31
    Portsmouth Insider says:

    There was trouble in Portsmouth regarding young volunteers being made to feel very uncomfortable.

  32. 32

    What do ya mean by what do ya mean?

  33. 33
    Gaye Mann (Mrs) says:

    Email to …@dwp.gsi.gov.uk is it? Another pilgrim doing party work with civil service equipment we’ve paid for!

  34. 34
    How can Edinburgh city use the death of a child to up their profile? They are disengenuous vulturous scum says:

    Scum!

  35. 35
    altruism in industry says:

    “the liberal democrats are equal opportunity employers and particularly welcome applications from groups who are currently under-represented in our staff”

  36. 36
    nell says:

    That’ll be women then.

  37. 37
    nell says:

    I presume they are scottish labour – very tribal so your statement is probably true.

  38. 38
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    hehe…. I SHALL GO NOW;))

  39. 39
    Podiceps says:

    You have to apply to someone called Puttock, which means ‘toad’.

  40. 40
    White Dee says:

    I was given this by my Jobcentre ‘adviser’ and I cannot apply, like. Conflict of interest and a crimmy record innit.

  41. 41
    imho says:

    I think that the LibDems should now change their logo to a cock.

  42. 42
    Podiceps says:

    ‘We particularly welcome applications from women so that we can have a good laugh and tear them up.’

  43. 43
    Jack D says:

    Well, I’m not sure.

  44. 44
    Podiceps says:

    ‘We particularly welcome applications from criminals. They will feel quite at home here.’

  45. 45
    cep says:

    I’d rather have the job of wringing out the jizz rags in a wank parlour.

  46. 46
    White Dee says:

    Well, you should gave said, like! I hope there are no perverts in the office. I only do tit grabbing, cash in hand. None of that ‘old boy’ bizniz.

  47. 47
    Scottish Chav says:

    “saying no would not count as rejecting a reasonable offer of work…”

    pretty sure the job centre isnt allowed to display jobs where you have to prostitute yourself.

  48. 48
    Eddie says:

    In fairness, they are doing all they can to avoid employing pervs…

    They make clear that they are particularly welcoming applications from groups under- represented in their staff.

  49. 49
    Lord RedArse says:

    I need applications from women as I need to check my member(ship) has not withered.

  50. 50
    Bilda Berger says:

    Er … that’s the job they’re advertising.

  51. 51
    Sir William Wayde says:

    An applicant wouldn’t know whether he, she or it belonged to an under-represented group, so the statement is useless.

  52. 52
    Bilda Berger says:

    I thought that was another name for the red kite. Does it have both meanings?

  53. 53
    Lord RedArse says:

    My balls and cock are under represented. I need applicants to fill the vacant Y-shaped position. How dare you suggest I am a minority group – I am entitled to all the uncared for tits in the world.

    Anyone have Nigella’s number?

  54. 54
    Ian Smith says:

    Universal Credit will be delivered on time and on budget. I may now be the only person who believes this.

  55. 55
    VOTE UKIP says:

    I see the comments are switched off now…..

  56. 56
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    WILL MY LOT DO, LARD EVERARD ??

  57. 57
    BOOOORING !!! says:

    BOOOORING !!!

  58. 58
    Nigel says:

    Is this a UKIP joke?

  59. 59
    Slyman Huge, Senior Cockroach says:

    That’s a typo for Buttock.

  60. 60
    Iain Duncan Smith in accounts says:

    I’ve just heard from a pensioner who is a whopping 7 pence a week better off.

  61. 61
    Quite says:

    There are other reasons why Miliband will try and stick to his guns. For one thing, it will make Labour a more attractive coalition partner to the Lib Dems in the event of a hung parliament. There’s no way Cameron could ditch his commitment to holding a referendum in 2017 without plunging his party into civil war – and he’s promised his backbenchers he won’t enter into a second coalition without giving them an opportunity to ratify the agreement. If Nick Clegg wants to avoid a referendum – which he clearly does, in spite of it being in the 2010 Lib Dem manifesto – Miliband will make for a more comfortable bedfellow

    Telegraph

  62. 62

    They told me at school that self-abuse would cause blindness so I stopped when I had to wear glasses.

  63. 63
    Podiceps says:

    Paddock, puddock or puttock are old words for toad, now obsolete, like the Lib Dems. But the other meaning of puttock, as you say a red kite, also seems quite appropriate for this party of scavengers.

  64. 64
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    LIBERAL DEMOCRATS: TRYING HARD TO RUIN YOUR COUNTRY.

  65. 65
    ukip.i.am.not says:

    Strange isn’t it that now an election is in the offing things are suddenly getting better. The ‘figures’ are all showing ‘tremendous improvements’ and we are all suddenly much better off. A ‘typical teenager’ has just been interviewed on the Today programme. He is at school, has a part time job in the NHS and firmly believes that the government are doing a good job and that they care about the people of this country. He has either been brain washed or is very naive or the BBC have fully signed up for a tory election victory. This ‘typical teenager’s’ views contrasted strangely with an earlier item where people in the street said they were not seeing any improvement in their living standards.
    Thanks to IDS the employment statistics have ‘improved’ because people have been forced into non jobs at well below the minimum wage and his friends in big business are supporting him by taking his handouts to bolster the unemployment figures. I wonder how many of them would employ him to even sweep the floors?

  66. 66
    Howdy do dere honey says:

    Black Friday alright

    FTSE 100 6663.74
    Down
    -109.54 -1.62%

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    One of the comments from a UKipper

    BarkingAtTreehuggers • 4 hours ago
    Toby, let’s be clear once again.
    Vote UKIP in May, get independence as early as September.
    74 •Reply•Share ›

    Liked by 74 other ukippers. They don’t get this EU “election” and a general

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    Strange isn’t it that had the figures been the other way round and the situation getting worse you would have believed every word of it without question

    Why don’t you just fuck off

  69. 69
    Bennies are not just for Christmas they are for life says:

    IDS has been in the army. Has studied the problems of he low paid intently for years and is widely recognised as the person who understands the situation more than the entire Labour Party put together

    That’s what they always fail to mention to mongs like you

  70. 70
    Woof says:

    Tail wags dog

  71. 71
    Gordon McFuckwit Bust says:

    At least we have our gold reserve… Oh?

  72. 72
    ukip.i.am.not says:

    Davos. The freebie party paid for by the taxpayers of the populations that they are ermmm . . . supposed to serve? A freebie party for the Megalomaniacs of the world represented by about 10% of so-called leaders whilst the Bankers who have managed to wreck a lot of economies around the globe represents about the other 90% with the result above.

    I don’t recall electing these so-called mouthpieces who are stitching up the economies of different countries just to serve them. Africa and India are very rich indeed. The only difference is their culture which has made them stagnate owing to lack of organisation and petty wars and class systems. India has more millionaires than Britain and the south of the country is extremely rich in soil and could produce sufficient food to feed the whole nation. There is an obvious lack of impetus to do this with their rigid caste system of deliberately keeping those at the bottom permanently placed there!
    Africa is being assisted by China who are farming it as well as stripping it of its copper whilst giving the people building projects like stadiums; if only the people could afford a ticket. Oil is in Somalia, Nigeria and yet Africa as a whole is too small minded to see how a nation can truly benefit from its resources.
    Let them eat cake and have mass games harks back to the days of the Romans and the Gladiators. In New Zealand and Christchurch the first thing the Conservative government thought of was how to raise the revenue to build the centre after the earthquake. Give ‘em games and see the money pouring in! People are still waiting to see what happens to their insurance claims for the damage to their houses with some having been forced to re-locate. Where is the sense of priorities? These innovative New Zealanders have created a town centre out of shipping containers. Yep, that’s right. Shops, cafes, with the right lighting, all out of containers. The outlets demonstrate you don’t need much to create a city and that includes a cardboard church.
    What do bankers and politicians care about the rest of the world which they have managed to plunge into so much debt? Money mostly going to themselves!
    Iain Duncan Smith is a hypocrite having once had to resort to Welfare and unemployment benefit himself. As long as he can milk the public of their hard-earned cash to pay his salary whilst filling the heads of ignorant people, who arrive on our shores and have no understanding of what Welfare is there for, with utter clap-trap and propaganda fueling the debate and plundering the next generation at their own expense, he is basically laughing all the way to the Bank!
    What were his words to his wife when he became unemployed? “What shall I do now and how shall I manage” Become a politician and sponge off everyone else in the country via the Welfare State known as Parliament

  73. 73
    Pie & Mash Shop says:

    We’re sorry Eric Pickles, you’re not an instant winner.

  74. 74
    Y.I. mon says:

    Will tha get Yer tits oot fer the lads?

  75. 75
    Labour's supporters are worthless retarded subhuman filth says:

    FTSE100 when Labour were last in power..

    dum dee dumm, tra la laaa..

    Ready? Their last day.. here it is..

    You sure you wanna be reminded?

    Here we go….

    5,261.00

    Oh dear.

  76. 76
    I'll Vet The Females, You Can Vet The Males says:

    Surely there’s no need to notify applicants when the process is complete, as most ‘recipients’ will be more than aware of when the ‘interviewer’ has reached ‘completion’?

  77. 77
    Give me a chance says:

    “the liberal democrats are equal opportunity employers and particularly welcome applications from groups who are currently under-represented in our staff”

    Princesses?

  78. 78
    John Bellingham says:

    How do you account for David Blunkett?

  79. 79
    Ed says:

    I heart <3 you, Rich. Although you're a raving Socialist, I hope you'll be voting Labour in 2015.
    I enjoyed our time together in NY and, although I was crap at Jenga, I took your advice and plummeted into politics, anyway.
    I'm the leader of some party now. See you soon.

  80. 80
    Anon. says:

  81. 81
    Pixel shit says:

    Your meds aren’t working you need to up em a bit. Well a lot really to the level of comatose so we can avoid the pixel shit you keep dropping all over.

  82. 82
    Morgan's Organ says:

    I think any applicant could be slotted in as Party Leader. No experience required!

  83. 83
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I forget the name and tried Dave’s Part.
    Took me to a site with a lot of knobs gratifying each other.
    Not many pictures though.

  84. 84
    Gordon McFuckwit Bust says:

    We had a 0% increase

    Did I tell you I saved the world, I did you know I saved the world even President Omaha said so when I met him in the kitchen. Or was it a broom cupboard. Hard to remember now?

    Did I tell you I saved the world?

  85. 85

    I had heard that even David Blunkett’s dog went blind and had to retire to the Lake District. Of course that could be a rumour.

    But it must represent an awful lot of abuse. From the left, that is hardly surprising.

  86. 86
    Labour's supporters are worthless retarded subhuman filth says:

    Technically, one has to prostitute oneself for most jobs. One’s certainly selling one’s body.

    With the LibDems it is a bit more intimate, though.

  87. 87
    Labour's supporters are worthless retarded subhuman filth says:

    “More importantly, your hard work will be actively helping the Party achieve numerous targets in the lead up to the 2015 General Election and beyond.”

    LibDems.. beyond 2015..?

    Yeah.

    Right.

  88. 88
    Bill Quango MP says:

    That did make me laugh.

  89. 89
    Anon. says:

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    You have forgottenLabours 2p increase I think
    Not surprised really

    The best by far though was the abolition by labour of the 10 p tax rate. I mean talk about taking a double barrelled shotgun and blowing off both feet to the testicles.

  91. 91
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I think it’s like the end of Star Trek VI.
    Kirk and the handful of surviving crew members take the obsolete Enterprise and piss off into the galaxy.

    No one really misses them or wants them back either.

  92. 92
    Bilda Berger says:

    Thx, Herr Grebe!

  93. 93
    Chief Brodie says:

    I told you we were going to need a bigger bank.

  94. 94
    Shite Dee says:

    You can av all the money in the world but you ain’t got nuffink like we’s got rand ere. Innit

  95. 95
    Podiceps says:

    GMail and all Blogger blogs have crashed. Looks as if Guido was wise to choose WordPress.

  96. 96
    ukip.i.am.not says:

    Duncan Smith:

    His claim that he studied at the University of Perugia (founded 1308) was later found to be false after an investigation by the BBC. His office subsequently admitted that he attended the Italian Università per Stranieri (founded 1921) in Perugia for a year but he did not obtain any qualifications or finish his exams. In 1975 he attended the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst and was subsequently commissioned into the Scots Guards. Duncan-Smith’s biography, on the Conservative Party website, claimed he was “educated at Dunchurch College of Management” but following questioning by the BBC his office confirmed that he did not get any qualifications there either, stating that he completed six separate courses lasting a few days each, adding up to about a month in total. Dunchurch was the former staff college for GEC Marconi, for whom Duncan-Smith worked in the 1980s

  97. 97
    Consultant on the golf course says:

    Try him the blue pills, Dr Pixel. They are much stronger.

    And his blood pressure is still very high so don’t mention they come from a multinational pharmaceutical conglomerate. Say you think they are NHS own brand. He’ll like that.

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    Well Julie

    Gee dos contact details are at the top of the blog I am sure these can be passed along. If you are quick we can make the Sundays.

    Pretty please

  99. 99
  100. 100
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    The good people of Scotland on Question Time last night seemed to have worked out the evil of Duncan Smiths policy after one of the audience got stuck into it. I thought for a moment this member of the public was going to get a standing ovation.

  101. 101
    The ModBot says:

    Handy Tip no.127:

    Fewer and fewer people are bothered. Moderation has become an anachronism.

    If you would like your blog/website to gain “clicks”, I suggest you lighten up, sir.

    The internet has, after all, moved on from the Compuserve days.

  102. 102
    Mike Hancock says:

    From now on I wish to be known as clinically insane.

  103. 103
    Anon. says:

  104. 104
    Sir Tim Berners-Lee says:

    This cünting little twat is stuck in the Ice Age.

  105. 105
    nell says:

    Cameron? Promise?

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Well if getting these parasites off benefits is evil I really hope he can be more evil

    Qt is bad enough stocked with left wing but Scottish qt. Ffs

  107. 107
    Jimmy says:

    Farage denies his own 2010 manifesto
    Lib Dems in meltdown
    Cameron trying to hoodwink the electorate with made-up statistics

    Good day for Labour, I’d say.

  108. 108
    Derek Smalls says:

    On a practical note:
    Nobody reads this dross, do they?

  109. 109
    Anon. says:

  110. 110

    But Labour don’t even understand deficit, let alone debt.

    It will need ten thousand good days to get back into favour.

  111. 111
    Hmmmmm says:

    Miliband disavows main 1997-2010 Labour government policies.

  112. 112
    Laughing at jimmy says:

    Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

    Wipes tears holds aching sides

    Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

  113. 113
    Bank of International Settlements says:

    Or into credit.

  114. 114
    Pete from Northampton says:

    This man is Pete from Northampton also known as Eachway/EW.

    He is an unemployed mop salesman.

    He is care in the community and when he doesn’t have medication is very violent and dangerous.

    If seen don’t approach but call the police.

  115. 115
    Denied your choice by labour says:

    Labour promised a referendum but signed Lisbon. Cameron’s promise existed only if Labour did not sign Lisbon. Too fick to understand that though?

    Today he tried to correct that but as before Labour denied you your referendum. Moan as much as you like but at the right people LABOUR

  116. 116
    FFS says:

    He didn’t deny his own manifesto. Brillo’s comments were entirely made up. It was a disgrace. No wonder Farage was flummoxed. He might as well have asked Farage why UKIP supported the Srebrenica Massacre and had done with it.

  117. 117

    Hey Fatty Rennard!

    How is that action against the Liberal Democrats party coming along?

    C’unt.

  118. 118
    cep says:

    ‘Knobs gratifying each other’.

    Sounds like CIF.

  119. 119

    I am glad to hear that but am also concerned about you advising me to drink Cranberry juice at my tender age.

    Are you trying to lead me into bad habits?

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    Kiss my bum :)

  121. 121
    Piers Morgan says:

    BBC News – UK Conservative led coalition ‘may quit Geneva II talks’

  122. 122
    Exmoor Hunters (Jeremy) says:

    Ran away over the hills

  123. 123
    Foetuses R Us -- we will inherit all the shit says:

    There is absolutely no prospect of any LibLabConner government getting the Deficit to zero.

    They just cannot stop overspending to bribe the benefiteers and the hordes of parasitical public sector employees who produce nothing.

    They will continue to print money and steal from savers until the Chinese and other creditors pull the plug. The U.K. economy will collapse within 10-15 years.

    Thank you Dave, Nickelarse, Gorgon, Bollux and Milliprat. You bastards.

  124. 124
    Aunt Gertrude says:

    It will help your cystitis, Dear.

  125. 125
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    So, the easy exit strategy from the EU has been set back a little.

    Whilst some faff around with ideas of reform, Rome really has just about burnt to the ground:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/davos/10590134/Crippled-eurozone-to-face-fresh-debt-crisis-this-year-warns-ex-ECB-strongman-Axel-Weber.html

    This in the face of ECB rate cut means that either rates are going to turn negative or there will be an attempted bail in.

    But bail in for what ?

    The Eurozone economy was never any good. The boom post Euro was the effect of virtually every asshole on the continent taking advantage of Germany’s rate of interest, to borrow and splurge other folks money like there was no tomorrow.

    That is because there really was no tomorrow.

    This primarily mortgage holders, but quite a large chunk of the ‘productive’ economy was just as bad.

    The next shoe to fall will be when the truth about G’ermany’s economic prowess in the face of Ch!na and US competition is properly brought in to relief.

    Instead of Syr!a, UK military planners should be considering carefully the European theater, and in particular how to best take advantage of the chaos which is likely to break out there within the next couple of years.

    Two problems for Farage in his B’rillo interview:

    i) Cancelling Trident – foolish mistake
    ii) Deploying the army against UK civilians on UK soil.

    He had better get rid of the G’erman wife as his judgement is becoming clouded.

  126. 126
    Big Sister says:

    Nurse will do your prostate massage now Mr.Handycock.

  127. 127
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Would suggest that there will be a lot more of these types of events.

    With BoE rates being the highest, a large amount of the funny money is heading towards the UK which is creating the illusion of recovered economy.

    Most in the trade know this and expect it.

    Solution: Push the funny money into the stock market, and crash it.

    It will recover early next week as there will be more fools chucking their hat in.

    The big one to watch for will be the DOW Crash which will happen once the Fed raise it’s rates above BoE.

    Why ? Same principal – The funny money needs to be destroyed as that which remains post the 2008/7 poses a serious existential threat to Western economies.

    Do not expect main street to recover much – or the cost of borrowing to come down domestically any time soon.

  128. 128
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    I’ll agree with Jimmy: this has been one of Labour’s better days today since they shrank the economy during The Reign of Terror 1997-2100.

  129. 129
    Owen Jones says:

    Jimmy honey – it’s poo time ;-)

  130. 130
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Yeah – and when can I tear into the shyster lord Carlile again – and rip his every word to shreds.

    Just saw Rifkind getting very hot and bothered on CH4 news … Fucking Israeli Firster.

  131. 131
    Questions of our time says:

    What would happen if a Lib Dem attempted to molest Theresa May ?

  132. 132
    White rabbit says:

    I’m going to vote for a political party whose leader displays the least in-depth knowledge of their manifesto. An excellent recommendation.

  133. 133
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Rifkind is a mong.

  134. 134
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    What is !ronic : All of the LibLabCon have repeatedly broken their manifesto pledges since inception.

    They are not on good ground for getting Farage this way.

    Lib Dems: Other than engaging in institutionalized r’ape, decided to go back on a very important manifesto pledge about tuition fees.

    Dave decided to throw a new super important pledge in and carry it out, a pledge too important for the manifesto: Gay Marriage.

    And Labour – They are still counting the bodies from the safe handling the NHS experienced.

  135. 135
    Portmouth MP says:

    They felt fine to me ;-)

    Boaz.

  136. 136
    White rabbit says:

    ‘ Scotty..give us all she’s got, we need to piss off quick ‘

  137. 137
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Thank you Nick. You have definitely made a difference and that’s what it’s all about. Thank you again.

  138. 138
    Question for the Prime Minister says:

    So what did you do this week to justify your salary ?

  139. 139
    FFS says:

    This is what the 2010 UKIP manifesto actually said:-

    “Maintain Britain’s independent nuclear deterrent with existing Trident submarines and then replace them with four British-built submarines armed with US missiles”

    I don’t have an intrinsic problem with that. It seems to me that the establishment is playing dirty. They seem to be getting very scared all of a sudden.

  140. 140
    White rabbit says:

    Telesales and Inner-city delivery driver…the toughest jobs around !

  141. 141
    Anon. says:

  142. 142
    God says:

    I own up. Blunkett is my mistake, sorry.

  143. 143
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    I have no problem either with the UKIP 2010 manifesto.

    I did have a problem with the responses Farage gave on the spot the other day.

    The one about the army being deployed to deal with an event such as London riots.

    This is very much a non libertarian sentiment, and an extremely dangerous idea to express. That the establishment has not jumped all over him for that is perhaps more alarming.

    The dumping of Trident, or a domestically produced nuclear deterrent – in particular UK produced nuclear weapons – was alluded to.

    Was surprised that despite his confusion, Farage didn’t close that down with a no when asked about the nuclear deterrent.

    UKIP are still the way forward, but these points are important to take notice of as they seemed to suggest that Farage is perhaps an authoritarian leader of the repressive variety who might just continue the EU plan for UK with more Kratos that Dave is prepared to muster.

    Agree it was very shoddy of Neil to make stuff up – but Farage should have just called him on it rather than fluster.

    The establishment know that they have done wrong against the people on this and several other issues recently, and some are twitching as they realize that they are being eyed up by their peers for sacrifice.

    The R’ennard situation and how this is playing out is a big tell.

  144. 144
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    The army are always the last resort in the face of extreme disorder, nothing new there, it is termed ‘aid to the civil powers ‘, Eg N. Ireland .

  145. 145

    I may look like a c’unt but…

  146. 146

    @BW

    Whilst we are in armistice mode, you might care to remember that I have a sticking point.

    I shall say no more.

  147. 147
    Wince cable says:

    I don’t remember the leader of Portsmouth council

  148. 148

    OK God. Now let us call you by your real name, Cedric. Then we can all get along fine.

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    Reduced unemployment by 280000

    Then on Tuesday… Best growth rates

    Wed pissed off Milliband

    Etc

  150. 150
    The Public says:

    English people

  151. 151
    Anonymous says:

    Eds going to have to find another catch phrase now as the old one didn’t last long like all the others he’s proved wrong yet again

    Take-Home Pay ‘Rising Faster Than Prices’
    Ministers say cuts to income tax and national insurance have left people with “more money in their pockets”, but critics disagree.

    Sky news

  152. 152
    Expat Geordie says:

    I was off work that day and watched it live. Did a quick back of the envelope calculation and worked out that anyone on under £18k pa would be worse off. And Labour MP’s cheered this!

  153. 153
    A Couple of Million Illegals says:

    None of the immigration rules need toughening or changing. The Home Office amends the rules 11 times a year at the moment.

    What is required is less tinkering round the edges of policy and far, far more rigourous enforcement of the current laws.

  154. 154
    And indeed the good news keeps coming says:

    Cost of living crisis wages rising faster than bills
    Sky news

    Labour leader Ed Miliband said the figures were “dodgy” and ministers were out of touch with people’s lives.
    BBC news

    So now we are back to the labour position of the Tory baby eaters are out of touch did not sort out the economy in the first weeks that we fucked up worse than anybody first thought.
    Oh dear poor ed, ever time he jumps on a bandwagon the wheels fall off and the horses bolt. He must hate this and where’s balls to welcome this latest piece of good news.

  155. 155
    Thursday 22 May 2014 says:

  156. 156
    Anon. says:

  157. 157
    Vince Cable says:

    “I’m the real minister for Portsmouth. I go there, I talk to the city council and the local enterprise partnership.

    http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/jan/16/vince-cable-pm-minister-portsmouth-tokenism

  158. 158
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    In the absence of increased sales and profits, where is the extra money coming from for the pay rises ?

    Not a shout out for Ed – but they know what is wrong but are unwilling to say.

  159. 159
    UKID DING says:

    FARAGE WOULD UNLEASH A BARRAGE.

  160. 160
    Bring on the General Election says:

    Bloody Hell.

    Cable is a personal friend of the Leader of Portsmouth council, LibDem Gerald Vernon-Jackson.

    Gerald Vernon-Jackson has tried to keep the Hancock affair secret, using public money to do so.

    Cable considers himself the minister for Portsmouth.

    And Nick Clegg claims he HAD NO KNOWLEDGE OF ANYTHING.

    This could bring down the Coalition

  161. 161
    Prime Minister Comrade David Cameron says:

    If you are sidelined by the NHS for Cancer treatment because you are over 65 , this a violation of your human rights .

  162. 162
    Hancock Junior was run over by His mum driving Hancock senior's car. You could not make this up. says:

  163. 163
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

    Show me some respec’ man !


  164. 164
    Forced fed Baloney with Macaroni on BBC 2. Yawn. says:

    Skanking!

  165. 165

    It is important to remember that the idea is always bigger than the man. Farage is not so much a one man band as he was but, compared with the main parties and all their armies of hangers on, he does not add up to a single person in relative terms.

    My take on those cheap questions from Brillo, my twin, whom I normally admire, is that contextually they did not reach anywhere near the importance of the major themes. It is the sort of media approach similar to when Boris was asked for the Underground fare from one particular station to another. In his shoes I may not know the answer. But I would prefer him to know the answer to better types of questions than relative trivia like that. Boris was also thrown by it and it is interesting how people appear to expect that these guys should know every bit of data rather than the principles that link them together.

    In terms of the bashing Farage received in Cliftonville the other day (just yards away from where I stayed last December), I can forgive his response to what was, let’s face it, an ambush.

    On the issue of the army, there is a point where it is appropriate to use them, even at the risk of appearing authoritarian. In the situation where many law abiding people were having their lives and property put at risk, I would be authoritarian about it myself and would apologise to no one for it.

    It is a matter of judgement and that is what leaders have to do. Exercise it. Unfortunately they do it wrongly all too often because they are not working to a principle but rather to a hubbub e.g. a Twitter storm. That is the last place to go to in such circumstances. It is pre-selective for a start.

    Clegg must really hope he gets his EU gravy train job lined up like Kinnock, Old Ma Kinnock, Ashton and all the other fucking wankers.

    That was a nice little blow. :-)

  166. 166
    The Dominoes are arranged says:

    I think the story has now moved on somewhat from the demise of a back bench MP to the resignations of both Vince Cable (personal friend of Gerald Vernon-Jackson) and Nick Clegg (who is lying about knowing nowt). Which would lead to the collapse of the coalition and a general election.

  167. 167
    Anon says:

    For a start it is 75 (or more) and the drugs concerned will only keep a 30 year old alive a few weeks or days longer. This is not withdrawal of cancer treatment for the elderly and it is not new or news, doctors (specialists) have to do this all the time and have always done so.

  168. 168

    Oh, and another thing!

    That FFS thinks we both should been drinking Cranberry juice.

    I have already made my own feelings known about this but your position will be diminished if you take that slight lying down…

  169. 169
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    Absolutely.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-25867585

  170. 170
    The NHS is useless says:

    In much of East London they don’t so much deny people treatment, they deny they have cancer.

    By the time there is a diagnosis, it is too late to save anyone.

  171. 171
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    I do drink Cranberry juice, and regularly cook Cranberries and with Cranberries.

    Very tasty and suits my pallet.

    If FFS is implying anything to do with urinary tract benefits etc., he may not have read the more up to date reports which expose that the benefits for the bladder was a marketing gimmick by the North American Cranberry industry in order to improve sales a few years back.

    Cranberries are diuretic, but other than being tasty, nice with vodka, awesome with pineapple and ginger, they only have lots of vitamin C and will cause one to hear the call of nature more.

    Cranberry is also fantastic with Camembert, especially if you put it in the Camembert and then deep fry. Yummy ;-)

  172. 172
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Have seen the full interview now – and now realize where the snippet was cut and how. Am still not keen on the candid way he handled it, but it was not as severe as the other uTube clip I saw made it sound.

    Neil was leading him up the Garden Path quite eloquently – but agree with you that most of Neil’s questioning in that interview was fishing and fatuous.

    Am a big believer in the principal of posse comitatus myself, and do not believe that it is either right or just for the military to be actively deployed against the civilian population they are meant to be protecting.

    Understand that in the UK the exact loyalties of the military are more with the Crown, that for sure is an aspect of UK constitutional law which sorely needs reform.

    The primary problem with such a deployment is that it would shift the balance of power in a very dangerous and irreparable way in favor of the military. Would need to check history but most countries which are under military dictatorship would have started from such an event.

    Looking at the scale of defence cuts put through, other than reducing the army such that it could be large enough to form a certain %’age of a much larger European force whilst not being strong enough to defend against Europe is one thing.

    The only other reason for having a small army that is not capable of defending the nation properly is if you wish to use it to repress the domestic population.

    Clegg may get his job in Europe, but there is nothing worth ruling over on the continent now.

    Over five years of high youth unemployment has killed the continent for the next generation or so, and it is now in a position such that it cannot compete globally.

    Axel Weber is right in what he has been saying in Davos.

    Just need the right excuse for war to clear out the unwanted inventory now.

  173. 173
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Oh – and I think you are a sock puppet.

    Sleight – not slight, among other things.

  174. 174
    Jo Swinson says:

    I’m touched.

  175. 175
    Show me a Clegg and I'll show you a Liar says:

    FFS EVERY reader of this Blog new about the Hancock allegations years ago.

    For Nick Clegg to say he heard and knew nothing is just ludicrous.

  176. 176
    Point of Information says:

    i) Surely the workers who found work and the employers who created work and recruited are responsible for the reduction in unemployment, not Dave.

    ii) Growth rates are more to do with BoE policy – politically independent, and of course British industry. Again – not Dave. (Maybe a bit Osborne…)

    iii) Pissed off Miliband: Well that’s not exactly difficult, and isn’t an activity which normally would command a salary, unless you work for the BBC.

    Question still not answered by the look of it.

  177. 177
    Mr Happy says:

    “Escape velocity “.

    Now that is a good phrase isn’t it.

    Some people think they can treat British taxpayers as complete imbeciles.

  178. 178
    Duty Pedant says:

    knew – not new.

    Agreed – You are now seeing how the MSM Propaganda machine works.

    It will probably take the MSM about a year – if ever – to get onto the ‘Gordon Brown is taking the piss out of the tax man among others’ story from earlier today.

    All that info is in the public domain as well.

  179. 179
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Hail fellow well met over a pint in the Pub but a visionary leader of men he most definitely ain’t .

  180. 180
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Danger : Ummuna believes his own lies.

  181. 181
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Cable needs a thorough, and I mean thorough, dressing down for the Pryce rehire.

    Seriously: WTF ?

    I guess the press are running stories from the reformed Pryce and Huhne just to get people irritated enough to actually start to demand that Cable, Clegg and the other creepy individuals in that party who are in government just go.

  182. 182
    guido',s fawkes blog says:

    giesha grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
    woys.

  183. 183
    Moral Maze says:

    A subject I’d like to get opinions on. I find Brits who convert to islam disgusting and nothing but traitors to the country. However, as people have freedom of and from religion here, unlike in muslim countries, we could never legally proscribe converts. From a personal standpoint, I would never associate with a muslim, much less a convert, and given they don’t socialise like normal people, the only area one can come into contact with them, apart from at the cashtill etc, is at work. Thankfully, I don’t work with any muzees.

    I’d like to get others’ viewpoints on this. Do you regard muslim converts as traitors? Do you work with any muslims, converts or otherwise?

  184. 184
    White rabbit says:

    You’re operating on high octane fuel tonight SC. My guess is that you hit the local moonshine lunchtime, had a refreshing siesta and tuned up are keen to pick a bone or two with our naturally patriotic politicians.

  185. 185
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Rifkind put Guru-Murthy firmly in his place. The media just stir the shit to try and get the biggest story. Guru-Murthy is not interested in truth.

  186. 186
    Benny saddo says:

    One of the people imprisoned for sending abusive tweets and r*pe threats was described by his defence barrister as a social recluse who stays indoors 24 hours a day and lives on benefits.

    That’s your tax money at work! Helping sad perverts to stay indoors all day and send vicious threats.

  187. 187
    Rip Van Winkle says:

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  188. 188
    White rabbit says:

    CO5. Counterfeit a possibility…very good if so.

  189. 189
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    What are they converting from?

  190. 190
    Postal votes says:

    BBC London News just had a report on the postal votes stitch up in Tower Hamlets. Reporter visited two flats that each had at least 12 registered voters but got no response. Good old Labour corruption. The Tory councillor for Tower Hamlets said that at the last election women were prevented from entering polling stations for being “immodestly dressed”. Yes, folks, that’s what Labour has done to this once green and pleasant land. We need a government that will eradicate the islamic menace and sort out Labour’s disgusting corruption.

  191. 191
    Normal Guy says:

    There are no visionary leaders of the people. Cameron visionary? Miliband, a leader? Clegg? Don’t make me laugh.

    I would rather have Farage in charge of something than a machine politician.

  192. 192
    Moral maze says:

    Sorry my question isn’t interesting enough for you. How about this:

    fuck tits arse cock shit Gordon Brown interest rates c-unt arse!

  193. 193
    If religion were software says:

    From Word to a pdf.

  194. 194
    OY! says:

    dON’T GO THROUGH SUPERMARKET CHECKOUTS THEN.

  195. 195
    x says:

    Worked alongside many Muslims and can only say I thoroughly enjoyed it. But that was not in Britain though and it was not really apparent that they were Muslims anyway. Don’t let anyone kid you that Muslims don’t drink or smoke either, especially the elite.

    It seems to be an immigrant thing where a few hot heads/trouble makers decide to kick and scream at their host country and give the rest a bad name. The situation is not helped by bleeding heart lefties who make things ten times worse by pandering to all their demands.

  196. 196
    fuck tits arse cock shit Gordon Brown interest rates c-unt arse! says:

    Which part of your tourettes do you have doubts about?

  197. 197
    Pete from Northampton says:

    This man is Pete from Northampton also known as Eachway/EW.

    He is an unemployed mop salesman.

    He is care in the community and when he doesn’t have medication is very violent and dangerous.

    If seen don’t approach but call the police.

  198. 198

    Posse comitatus has greater application across the pond but is not unknown here.

    Here is the acid question:

    Just how many civilian deaths should one be willing to suffer at the hands of rioters before calling forces heavier than the police in?

    If you say the whole population can die beforehand, that is a point of view but it is not mine.

    Clearly things can move very quickly in such situations and therefore as well as facts, anticipation of the likelihood of more such criminal acts might be taken into consideration in deciding to deploy forces before all the facts are at hand.

    There is also the deterrent effect of such forces which would be armed.

    Remember in addition we are talking of a large number of citizens who have no real idea of what our idea of law and order is.

    Quite simply, I can make a case to you that the deployment of such forces may actually save the loss of even more innocent lives.

    In such circumstances, would you argue that the loss of those lives ought to be accepted by the state? Unless I have gravely misjudged you, I would imagine your answer to be decidedly negative.

    Libertarianism is for everyone, not just for those who decide for themselves that they want to enforce their idea of control and greed upon others who may be weaker or more observant of the law.

    Another understandable difference we might have is over the division between Crown and parliament. I am for the retention of such difference. How awful it would have been if Gordon Brown had been head of state too! That is surely sufficient condition for my case but I can argue it much further if required.

    As for Clegg, he will probably get the money, fuck the parasite! The influence is secondary IMO.

    There is a case for arguing that, without the Afghanistan War and the Second Gulf War, the 2007 financial collapse would have happened much earlier. I would not argue that as a rationale for them but the case for war is another big subject.

  199. 199
    Cable Street says:

    We need UN election observers.

  200. 200
    Ed Balls MP economic genius says:

    I promise to clear the UK deficit by the end of the next Parliament.

    I will do this by borrowing the money to do it. So simple to sort.

  201. 201
    FFS says:

    Only pulling your leg about the cranberry juice. I can’t remember how it came up now. I drink it myself anyway, together with all those “fruits of the forest” juices that are supposed to be full of anti-oxidants. They are supposed to protect against the processes of aging, amongst other things ;-)

    I agree that interviewers sometimes ask fatuous questions just to throw politicians off guard, but making stuff up completely seems to be going too far. Unless Brillo was putting Farrage into training. Kind of like saying “You’re going to need to pull your socks up mate, there are sharks out there. You’d better learn how to deal with them now, the hard way”. After all, he’s got 18 months or so? I wonder if the Beeb are thinking of putting him on the leaders debates. I can see why they would – firstly a good UKIP vote is bad for Camoron and secondly it will likely make great TV.

    I would have though Brillo would have some sympathy with Farrage, being somewhat anti-establishment himself. Having said that Brillo does seem to think our political future is all just one big joke.

  202. 202
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Let me know when you are on Live from the Apollo, I’ll switch the tv off.

  203. 203
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Have the labour money trees all died off?

  204. 204
    FFS says:

    Chris Huhne said it.

    He always says that.

  205. 205
    Alice says:

    “No more boom and bust”? What a laugh!

  206. 206
    Nick Clegg says:

    I’m singing, I’m dancing in the rain.

  207. 207
    Alice says:

    Or are muslims simply traitors to humanity?

  208. 208
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I am loving the way you are gliding effortlessly from your original Master Plan B onto the next phase, Master Plan C for Crap.

    Do write to me once everyone has finished laughing at you.

  209. 209
    Dirty ole Bugger says:

    Put your FMBs on and fuck me you GILF slut.

    I bet you’ve got one of those granny vaginas that three well-endowed blokes could fuck at the same time.

  210. 210
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    That’ll be because of same sex marriage.

  211. 211
    Dirty ole Bugger says:

    Nah, you see Camoron always knew that Gorgon was going to sign Lisbollox. We all did. So his promise of a referendum was bullshit from the start.

    Unless you take the logic that the promised referndum was simply “Do you want to be a part of an EU signed up to Lisbon?”. That applies whether Labour had signed up to it or not. Then his promise wouldn’t have been bullshit- but he never kept that promise anyway.

    EULibLabCon. It’s destroying Greece, Spain, Portugal and we’re next.

  212. 212
    Vince Knew says:

    May 13, 2011

    Vince Cable MP opening Portsmouth Port’s new terminal, with (from left) Phil Gadd, Ferry Port Manager, Martin Putnam, Port Manager, Councillor Mike Hancock CBE MP and Gerald Vernon-Jackson, Leader of the Council

    http://cruise-international.com/vince-cable-opens-new-portsmouth-terminal/

  213. 213
    Snowden t says:

    Transcript emerges of president Obama and secret service chief Chuck Bazzoomski.

    “Chuck..listen.. I just came into this kitchen to get a sandwich..you know..for late night. I was going to watch Letterman. Eat my sandwich. Go to sleep.”

    “Yessir.”

    “We’ll chuck. I don’t know what went wrong but when I closed the fridge door , that man was in here.”

    “Yessir! In the kitchen.?”

    “Yep. Right behind the door. And Chuck..when I came in the lights were off, and I didn’t turn them on. I was just getting a sandwich.. That man … He was waiting in here…in the dark. How crazy is that?
    And you know what.. He was grinning a kind of broken faced grin. You know. And he had European teeth. They were kinda .. Yellowy. ”

    “Yessir! Yellowy teeth. Probably stank a bit too?”

    “Damn right! Like a hobo. And I don’t mind admitting that I was scared. I backed away. But he stepped forward and started jabbering something In Limey talk. And he closed up and was right in my face Chuck.. Like THIS close.. And yelling about G20 and the Q8 and GMTV and the NFL .”

    “Yes sir. Sorry sir. But he was a guest sir! Prime President of..erm..Scotchland. He was invited to the White House, sir .”

    “Not by me he wasn’t!”

    “Erm..no sir.. By the diplomats. ”

    “Ok..well listen Chuck..I want some extra security buttons put into this place too,. You know I like my snacks. I come in here all the time at night. I want panic alarms by the coffee pot and by the refrigerator.. And by the sink, ok. ”

    “Yessir.. First. Thing sir!”

    “I’m telling you chuck. It was Very disturbing. He put his hand on my buttock.
    That’s not a .. A good thing to have happen. The president of Scotchland’s hand on the president’ ass. I mean I was standing right here.. On this spot .. With a club sandwich in one hand and Newsweek in the other and a scotchman with his hand on my fanny. ”

    “Yes sir. Traumatic sir. ”

    “So if it happens agin I want those buttons. And when I press one you come running and take him out, ok?”

    “Yessir! Press button. Means kill President Brown.”

    “No..no..not the Chicago taking out . I mean..just take him away..OUTSIDE! Not Out. Ok and get some air freshener in here would,ya? It kinda stinks.”

  214. 214
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    I have never heard of Mike Handoncock.

  215. 215
  216. 216

    @CO5 @9:57 pm

    Whatever. FFS meant it as a tongue-in-cheek insult.

    @CO5 @10:12 pm

    Archaeology is one of my passions and the term slighted is used to describe the razing of a critical part of a castle’s structure at some point in its history. It is listed in some dictionaries as archaic by lexicographers who do not possess souls. If they think that is archaic, than I am happy to be classed as archaic as well! Whereas I can make spelling mistakes, on this occasion, I defend myself.

    @White rabbit

    I do not hit the moonshine very often and certainly not today. If you think this is high octane, then you would have been shocked at my earlier days when I could make Ozzy Osbourne look like a parson (slight exaggeration but was rather struck by the mental imagery!)

    Stylistically, I imagine it to be CO5 but the real one will no doubt advise us in due course, if it is not.

  217. 217
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I’ve a feeling that Mike Hancock WAS our election observer for Azerbaijan. I’m sure I read that in private eye.

  218. 218
    FFS says:

    No. I’ve known quite a few Muzzies over the years. Fact is that the moderates (about 2/3rds of the total) simply become British. The third they leave behind become ever more extreme.

    The same has happened to Scotland. The smart ones all moved to South East England because that’s where the money was. What was left vote either Labour or SNP. They become more extreme in their views because there is nobody left to set them straight or just dilute their nonsense.

  219. 219

    I drink beer or wine with many Muslims and agree totally with what you say.

  220. 220
    Lance Boyle says:

    Sympathy with the aims and objectives LibDems is essential it says. This rules out 99%+ of the population! There’s a strong case here for an enquiry into this blatant discrimination.

  221. 221
    Vince Knew says:

    November 2013

    The Liberal Democrat Leader of Portsmouth City Council, Cllr Gerald Vernon-Jackson, today met the government’s Business Secretary, Vince Cable, to press for action on shipbuilding.

    http://psexpress.co.uk/?p=1315

  222. 222
    cep says:

    Does he vote lib dem .?

  223. 223
    Erskine May Not says:

    He was pictured with a Julie from Manchester in a larger version of this image. Any clues as to what she was doing with him?

  224. 224
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I have been looking in the past few days at lies damned lies and statistics – you know; numbers that get propagandiced but which are then shown to be false …

    I remind you that we are somewhat agreed on one stick – the hockey stick – it’s not going well for the likes of the globall warming dupes … Oh dear their statistics and facts have been ‘blown out of the Antarctic Sea – so to speak!

    Bring me the b/s of another up his Rse shyster to disect – I’m lovin it.

  225. 225
    FFS says:

    I don’t regard Muslims converts as traitors, because those I know about are either:

    1] Just getting married and don’t take it that seriously, or
    2] Fruit loops

    I don’t have an issue with Islam per se, only those that believe in “Jihad by the Sword” – which is all of those that are Sunni and all those that are Shia. Sadly that’s almost all of them.

    I don’t have any long-term concerns about Islam because I have realised that

    1] They are losing at least 2/3rds of their UK followers with each generation
    2] They are on the defensive because their medieval beliefs can’t cope with the 21stC.

  226. 226
    Excellent says:

    LOL

  227. 227
    Anonymous says:

    Bugger, didn’t notice the word wrapped before clicking on the link

  228. 228
    Alice says:

    Surely consuming alcohol makes them non-Muslims, by definition.

  229. 229
    Fish says:

    +1000 Denied

  230. 230
    cep says:

    I see her at least 8 times a year.

    Not by choice you understand.

    You wouldn’t.

  231. 231
    Fish says:

    bollox

  232. 232
    Fish says:

    Kardashians on the starboard bow. Set phasers to kill

  233. 233
  234. 234
    Lock em up says:

    Ravist, fascist……How is such hate speech allowed?

  235. 235
    Nemesis says:

    High Court has decided the report on Rennard can be published in full without redaction. Cant’ wait!

  236. 236
    Nigel Damage says:

    What a load of bollox.

    Werther’s Originals are German. We wouldn’t dream of buying that Kraut crap.

  237. 237
    Nemesis says:

    233: Sorry I meant Hancock not Rennard. There are just too many of these Limp Demics.

  238. 238
    FFS says:

    They weren’t drinking it, only SC.

    There he was, rolling around drunk, with all these women in burqas in the Jeddah Public library wondering what the hell was wrong with him.

  239. 239
    Vote Long, Vote Hard says:

    Vote UKIP

  240. 240
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Steady on there – this is a family blog.

    No need to mention the G-B words.

  241. 241
    FFS says:

    You’re sinking, you’re sinking,
    Down the drain….

  242. 242
    And indeed the good news keeps coming says:

    Ok
    I will make it more simple for you

    Governments are there to create the conditions for employment to take place. This allows industry to go ahead and employ.

    In other words Cameron has done this as opposed to Labour who always create unemployment and leave office with unemployment higher than they started.

    If you don’t get hat you must be a leftie because they don’t get it either.

  243. 243
    And indeed the good news keeps coming says:

    January 24, 2014 at 10:16 pm
    i) Surely the workers who found work and the employers who created work and recruited are responsible for the reduction in unemployment, not Dave.

    ii) Growth rates are more to do with BoE policy – politically independent, and of course British industry. Again – not Dave. (Maybe a bit Osborne…)

    iii) Pissed off Miliband: Well that’s not exactly difficult, and isn’t an activity which normally would command a salary, unless you work for the BBC.

    Question still not answered by the look of it.

    Ok
    I will make it more simple for you

    Governments are there to create the conditions for employment to take place. This allows industry to go ahead and employ.

    In other words Cameron has done this as opposed to Labour who always create unemployment and leave office with unemployment higher than they started.

    If you don’t get hat you must be a leftie because they don’t get it either.

  244. 244
  245. 245
    The Limp Dumbs says:

    What is it with Lib Dems called Chris? Huhne, Rennard and Davies. Are we sure Clegg, Cable, Hancock and Oaten don’t have Chris as a middle name?

  246. 246
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    @SC: I am not one of your sock puppets – life is too short for that + could not emulate your style as my knowledge of specific parts of history is nowhere near the standard.

    Will give you the slight with no sleight intended – thought it was a sock puppet. Some of the above looked a bit out of character.

    Shall check back through on what FFS was talking about regarding Cranberries.

    Seriously, I do highly recommend with ginger and pineapple. An interesting combination is pineapple sprinkled with red peppercorns, glazed with freshly cooked cranberries, grilled slightly (just to get a bit of caramelization going), sprinkled with powdered ginger and served with some vanilla ice cream and sliced honeydew melon.

    Makes for an excellent dessert – the savory quality of the pineapple is nicely balanced by the rest.

    If you get a chance, check up on the Cranberry claims. NHS apparently still recommends to gentlemen and women who have certain plumbing problems, demonstrates just how reliable some of the advice you get on the state run health service is.

    From that point of view, Dandelion and Broccoli are actually much better for you – but still do not have any magic ingredients which fix that area, but the Broccoli has better nutritional value, especially if steamed.

    @FFS: Cranberry has a reasonable amount of vitamin C – an antioxidant which does help keep aging a bay a little.

    For the real big guns you need to look at Broccoli among other things.

    Cranberries have been a bit over hyped to keep the North American farms from collapsing. They are an important and useful ingredient, but their usefulness is limited.

    Now this is the kind of thing which might just work quite nicely:

    http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/main-course/fish/broiled-tilapia-with-cranberry-honey-mustard-sauce.html

  247. 247

    @ Alice

    Fallacy of the inverse, aka denying the antecedent.

    Example:

    If Len McCluskey holds a Spanish passport, then he is human.
    He does not hold a Spanish passport
    Therefore he is not human.

    The argument is invalid here – even though the conclusion may be true.

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    Nick Clegg has been declared ‘fit to work’ by Atos, despite clearly not having a spine.

  249. 249
    The Limp Dumbs says:

    Clegg is a lot like Margaret Hodge. They both have a face I wouldn’t get tired of punching.

  250. 250
    Crisp Bryant says:

    I’m very liberal in certain respects.

  251. 251

    @CO5

    Not for one instant have I ever imagined you to be my sockpuppet.

    It had been alleged that a previous entry above of yours was made by a sockpuppet. I was expressing my doubt about that suggestion.

    No sockpuppet I have seen has been that good.

    If they were to get that good, then we could leave them posting here and go off to enjoy a spot of golf instead. :-)

    *I don’t play golf BTW!*

  252. 252

    I take it you saw this, but if not:

    http://bit.ly/1fbl3Yl

    No harm in repeating this sort of stuff because the warmists repeat the lie on the basis that if you say it enough times, it becomes true.

  253. 253

    TaT jailed:

    http://dailym.ai/1jLTA0m

    Well, he fits the bill…

  254. 254
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Indeed, who are these cock suckers?

  255. 255
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    We all know this is happening, but NOTHING is being done about it….. WHY??

  256. 256
    Podiceps says:

    I confess I’d always imagined something more like this:

  257. 257
    FFS says:

    Nice try SC, but the true intellectual won’t buy it for a moment.

    The Quran itself specifically forbids drinking alcohol. Therefore you cannot simultaneously claim to be a Muslim and at the same time imbibe alcohol.

    You can claim to be a Muslim, but you said they WERE Muslims.

  258. 258
    Podiceps says:

    FFS, surely they don’t let women into the Jeddah Public Library, even in burqas.

  259. 259
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    Wrong ! he does not have the nous to lie , he actually believes that shit .

  260. 260
    Alice says:

    @ SC 12:31
    Does not apply.
    My statement is based on a valid definition and is not of the same form as your argument.
    Consumers of alcohol do not adhere to Islam, the religion of Muslims. Therefore consumers of alcohol are not Muslims.
    Clearly, not all humans must hold Spanish passports.
    However, all true Muslims must adhere to Islam.

  261. 261
    Mr. Tarkanian. says:

    The LibDem interview went well.

  262. 262
    Numerologist says:

    Elsie is the BIGGEST fibber on this forum. She recently told us she is now 84 – so what is this old bag lying about her age for this time?

  263. 263
    Numerologist says:

    I used to call my car Cedric, but no miracles ever happened in it – except the one time when the servo on the brakes failed as I approached a roundabout and the road ahead just happened to be clear of other vehicles!

  264. 264
    Well known folk singer says:

    He has his whole world in his hands….

  265. 265
    Well known ex-cricketing person says:

    I bet she can eat 3 Weetabix for breakfast too!

  266. 266
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and utreach workers says:

    Sod it, that rules us all out for this job then.

  267. 267
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and utreach workers says:

    What seems to be missing from your comment DoB is that when Brown signed Lisbon he had already been voted out of office – and therefore had no right to append his signature. Since his act was illegal, it is safe to assume its invalidity and can safely be ignored. The real puzzle is why nobody in the MSM has actually mentioned this trifling anomaly to the people of this country.

  268. 268
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    Indeed. Not long ago the Saudis rounded up and deported hundreds of illegals from their country. Last week the Malaysians rounded up and deported over a thousand illegals. So if they can do it why can’t we? Stuff all this crap about appeals etc. Just get them out. The Malaysians also take their fingerprints (as they do as a matter of routine for all arrivals at air and sea ports) before deportation so they can’t sneak back in under a different name. Crude but effective. Perhaps Theresa should give it a try.

  269. 269
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    He is right about China though. They have been steadily stripping all resources from what used to be called Northern Rhodesia and Tanzania for years, but the natives are still too thick to realise what is happening under their noses. So expect lots of fun and games and pangas when they do eventually wake up.

  270. 270
    broderick crawford says:

    CLINKER FEED !!!

  271. 271
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    Cranberries are served as standard accompaniment to IKEA’s meatballs in my local depot. … and delicious they are too. Sod the so-called health benefits (or otherwise) just enjoy their taste.

  272. 272
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    …from Harare? I’m sure Ebagum can supply a plane load or two.

  273. 273
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    If you fancy a quick snifter in Morocco just ask for un Co ke marocaine for a pint of rum and c oke.

  274. 274
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    Because Clegg threw his dummy out of the pram when it came to doing the boundary review bit. Do try to keep up.

  275. 275
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    …or “Minfadlik wahid beer” also works fine.

  276. 276
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    …or vice versa?

  277. 277
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    Hahahahahahaha!! I licked on the DM link above….. and my McAfee antivirus cautioned about Mail on line being a dodgy site and asked if I really wanted to go there!

  278. 278
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    *clicked – not licked (I have not disinfected my monitor screen for months!).

  279. 279
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Hands on whose roll?.

  280. 280
  281. 281
    albacore says:

    You never get nowhere if you’re too rushed
    So Parliament very hastily pushed
    The mirage of an In/Out EU vote
    To where actual polling’s so remote
    That even if Dave had meant it to fly
    It never was owt but pie in the sky

  282. 282

    Far to kindly and friendly looking, even for most of the parasites in the HoC.

  283. 283
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Dave never intended that it would fly
    He just pretended a pie in the sky
    No chance of a vote on democracy
    Not when you live in a dystopia

    People suffer from myopia?

  284. 284

    @Alice

    Surely consuming alcohol makes them non-Muslims, by definition

    Inherent in the above is the following proposition:

    Muslims are people who do not drink alcohol

    That statement is clearly a non sequitur as Islam is a faith and drinking is an activity. The shahada is the Muslim creed which nowhere mentions alcohol. Therefore your claim that it is a valid definition is false.

    As to form, I restructured it only moderately to make a potentially dull subject more fun.

    @FFS

    Same applies. I said they were Muslims and they are. If the attribute of being Muslim magically disappears when their bodies contain alcohol, then there would be less than half the Muslims there are in the world today. Did you know that many people have alcohol in their body naturally? Look it up. Does that render them non-Muslims automatically? Of course not!

  285. 285
    JH394239049023 says:

    Yeah because ‘typical teenagers’ are only allowed to be ardent lefties aren’t they? Anything else doesn’t compute.

    Hate to break it to you, but it’s not the 70’s any more. The current young generation show promisingly right wing tendencies, and why wouldn’t they? You mongs have absolutely fucked them over like no generation ever before.

  286. 286
    Labour says:

    Sssshhhh! We don’t talk about the years Labour were actually in power!!!

    We don’t talk about the people who were actually in charge!!!

    The winter of discontent never happened. Also the years 1997-2010 were a national holiday, nothing happened.

    All the bad things ever only happened since the last election.

  287. 287
    Anonymous says:

    Basing crime figures on insurance claims, rather than on actual crime incidents, is a useful fudge. Very efficacious, in terms of attenuating the ‘reality’ of some by a factor of 100%. Little wonder that the technique has now been applied to wages. Hopefully spreading a sense of wellbeing, amongst the real plebs. With a fourfold rise in their charitable contributions, to homes for terminally bewildered economists and strangely stupefied statisticians. Seeing those out-of-pocket payments double by a factor of 50%.

  288. 288
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Thanks for the link – text copied – oh it’s in the commentator.

    Addendum: Sticks and stones may break my bones but personal attacks and smears only flatter me.

  289. 289
    FFS says:

    Trying to wriggle out of it again SC. Tut tut.

    Alcohol inherent in the body is not “consumed”. Alice referred specifically to alcohol being consumed.

    The shahada doesn’t enshrine what you need to do to be a Muslim. The same statements contained within the shahada could be applied to Christianity or Buddhism.

    Your arguments are taking on the logical fallacy of “trivial objections”.

    Please try harder. Much harder.

  290. 290
    Jack Ketch says:

    …and the modbot squeezes me out for saying rude words like miliband!

  291. 291
    Andy says:

    Why are they using a Government e-mail address for applications for a Lib Dem job???

  292. 292
    I dislike socialists intensely says:

    If they did Dromey might jump ship .

  293. 293
    The BBC says:

    Would that be Scott of the Arseantics?

  294. 294
    A very cheeky girl says:

    Lembit’s the man to head up the Lib-Dems since Cleggie can’t manage it and he’s one of the most feeling men I know.

  295. 295
    Mark Wouters says:

    Sovietsalami63 Here ,
    To Bill Gates ,The Poor in England are getting Much poorer ,come and have a look for yourself ,perhaps you really do live in “Alice in Wonderland Delusion”it must be all that Bush and Nixon youve believed in Neoconism(NAZISM) and “Battlefield S/M ” where the Yanks love to Humiliate themselves on the Battlefield ,Vietnam springs to mind!

  296. 296
    Reality Check says:

    Quite so. Indeed, no Labour Government has presided over a real terms increase in the stock market since WW2. Not disastrous when they only had a few years playing with the train set. 13 years though, is a long time.

  297. 297
    CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

    I’LL BREAK YOUR OTHER LEG AND KICK ONE OF YOUR DOGS YER LEZZIE COW.

  298. 298
    Illegitimate Expectoration says:

    One thing about Cameron, you can always rely on him –

    
    

    not to keep his word.

    
    

    Of course, exactly the same applies to Clegg and Miliband.

  299. 299
    Ian Derek the-curtains-are-drawn-but-the-furniture's-real Smith says:

    I’m happy to report that I’ve done time at Berkeley :

    http://unltd.org.uk/2013/04/24/social-justice-innovations-brought-to-life-by-social-ventures-says-ids/

  300. 300
    Nick Clegg, Cockroach-in-Chief, Pervs Я Us says:

    Hey, Ed, wanna play FTSE with me ?

  301. 301
    Che T Ongueek says:

    Cranberries are fine in moderation – but a whole pallet ???

  302. 302
    Socialism is a form of cancer says:

    No use denying it.

  303. 303
    I imbibe therefore I am says:

    The world is full of nine-to-five muslims.

  304. 304
    Hackney black disabled lesbian immigrant dog walkers and outreach workers says:

    Oi mush, I think your hearing aid battery just ran out.

  305. 305
    Southern Softy says:

    Come back when you’ve sobered up.


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