January 23rd, 2014

The Wandering Hands of Westminster’s Gay Mafia

As anyone who has ever spent 30 minutes in Westminster will know, it’s not just the girls who receive unwanted attention from pervy MPs.

“As I walked out of the bar, I noticed a Conservative MP following me. It had been an evening for young political activists, mostly teenage boys, and it was drawing to an end. I pretended to be engrossed in my phone, but the MP — well-liked, universally respected — lurched towards me, placing his arm around my waist and leaning in close. I could smell the whisky and cigars on his breath. ‘I’m just going to the toilet,’ he slurred, winking and gesturing at the gents. I had only worked in and around Parliament for a year, but had been on the receiving end of enough unwanted advances from male Tory MPs to know exactly what he was proposing…”

WikiGuido writes in this week’s Spectator on the wandering hands of Westminster’s gay mafia…


  1. 1
    kmc says:

    “I could smell the whisky and cigars on his breath.”

    Blimey. Ken Clarke?


  2. 2
    GnosticBrian says:

    And will the fearless Guido name names?


  3. 3
    Joss Taskin says:

    Do they ever get round to doing any work ?


    • 66
      RomaBob.... Beeg Issue, Beeg Issue! says:

      Not if they catch a youngster in the back passage!


    • 225
      UKIP or bust says:

      Yeah, they dictate their expenses, and roll up for the Wednesday Punch And Judy show hoping to get a walk on part with lines, and err, that’s it.

      All the work is done in Brussels.


  4. 4
    Smart Alex says:

    Wicked Boy


  5. 5
    The Right Honourable George Osborne MP says:

    When I took this job, Britain was borrowing more than £400 million every single day to pay for government spending. But as a result of the painful cuts we’ve made, the deficit is down by a third and we’re borrowing nearly £3000 less for every one of you and for every family in the country.


  6. 6

    Having experienced something similar in my later teens, I hope if this bastard is reading this, he will realise that his comeuppance will happen in a way he won’t like one bit.



  7. 7
    They're all in themselves together says:

    May well be an element of truth, who knows. But dear Alex should put up a name otherwise he just comes across as a vindictive jealous bitch. Wipe yourself lad, you seem to be leaking.


    • 189
      Psyche the Dog says:

      What seems strange is the fact that they fight to get into non paid jobs their mummies and daddies must be absolutely loaded, probably ex-public school boys gap year, these lads must talk to each other before they go there.


  8. 8
    Katie says:

    What’s the latest on the troubles of the deputy speaker , it does seem to have gone quiet on him ?


    • 9
      Prime Minister Comrade David Cameron says:

      Always remember that, as bad as things may seem, you’re not the person who poured fast setting concrete into the Victoria Line control room.


    • 82
      Fart In My Whitbread says:

      Fucking hell your blog is a load of fucking wank. How far away from the fucking real world do you live love? Its like a little girl who never grew up, flowers and fucking baking, what a load of middle class wankery. People like you make me fucking sick, you know fuck all about anything. I seriously hope you have a decent excuse for that load of airheaded arse dribble that you call a blog, maybe you had a bad head injury and reverted to the mindset of a 13 year old middle class girl who has never seen a black person. Otherwise you really are a c”u”n”t of the fucking highest order.


    • 185
      A Friend of I'srael says:

      Great blog Katie.

      Best not dwell on deputy speaker as speculation will be subject to contempt seeing as he is formally charged and going through the mill at the moment.

      Would not count on seeing him back anytime soon.


  9. 10
    ReefKnot says:

    No wonder they were in favour of gay marriage.


    • 249
      Observation says:

      Of course. I remember reading on Peter Hitchens’ blog that the CCHQ server crashed to to the volume of material being downloaded from gay websites.

      It seems like the party has passed a tipping point where like attracts like.


  10. 11
    Jimmy says:

    “a Conservative MP….well-liked, universally respected”



    • 16

      What an awful thing to say of Tony Blair.

      From you, especially…


    • 73
      Anonymous says:

      Spiteful, class war luddite with shit for brains.
      This country will always be held back by hateful morons like you jimmy.

      Do us all a favour and throw yourself off a tall building.


      • 87
        Fart In My Whitbread says:

        While c”u”n”t”s like you tug your fucking forelock and carry on arselicking the fuckers in power. I hope they come for your fucking kids in the middle of the night, thats what you fucking deserve you sad sack of fucking shit. Grow a fucking pair you thick fucking mong.


        • 97
          Anonymous says:

          Go fuck yourself pussy. You’re just the sort of c*nt that would take people’s kids away and introduce them to your tiny, septic cock.



        • 100
          Horny handed son of toil says:

          Wow a real class warrior! Comrades Stalin, Lenin, Trotsky, Milliband, Hobsbawn etc. would be well proud. Totalitarians of the world unite you have nothing to lose but your forelocks.


  11. 14

    Talking about matters gay, the following is to be sung to the music of Handel’s Hallelujah chorus:

    Will you all stand please for the Gordon Brown chorus!

    Gordon Brown, Gordon Brown,
    Sold-the-Gold, Sold-the-Gold, Sold-the-Gold [3x]

    For the mad sod so impotent reigneth
    Gordon Brown, Gordon Brown, Sold-the-Gold, Sold-the-Gold [2x]

    For the mad sod so impotent reigneth [3x]
    The man who “saved the world”
    is become
    The waster of our wad
    And Jesus Christ, [2*]
    We’ll feel the pain for ever[4*]
    Singh of Singhs
    for ever and ever
    and Gord of Gords

    Will we ever see another of the like? Oh yes! ‘Fraid so.


  12. 15
    Stephanie Kinnock Labours' female candidate for Aberavon says:

    Oooo I can’t wait.


  13. 20
    Big D says:

    Yuk they are all at it .
    Sex and money they cant keep their grubby hands of either .


    • 241
      Psyche the Dog says:

      They are politicos what do you expect, total honesty and dedication to serving their constituents.


  14. 22
    Nick Clegg in Davos says:

    Wickham would have more gravitas if he named names.otherwise its just tittle tattle


    • 32
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Have you read the masthead of this esteemed establishment? Clearly not.

      As for the cry of “name names!” in the various comments, I couldn’t agree less. The truth will out in its own good time and in its own peculiar way: in weeks, months, maybe years – and it will be all the more delicious when it does.


    • 33

      In a perfect world you would be right.

      These vermin would cut him off from his supply of leads if he did follow that path. They are like the Mafia in that respect. He will reach a position, before too long, where they will need him more than the other way round.

      Then he can deliver the coup de grâce. I look forward to that.


      • 242
        Psyche the Dog says:

        There are two ways or things that might happen, he will be promoted or he will be dropped and disappear, take your pick.


    • 44
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      If the perv wants to stay in the closet it is his right to do so. Wiki was quite right not to out him, that should be left to the leftie hypocrites like Tatchell.


      • 47

        Surely it is only his right to do so if he does not infringe other’s rights not to be molested by a pervert.

        Given the facts here, I see no moral imperative to stay silent. All I see is a pragmatic recognition of the circumstances.

        If you then want to argue that pragmatism is itself a moral philosophy, then so be it.


        • 64
          FFS says:

          Was he actually molested? They just made a pass at him.

          Happens to me often too. I just tell them to fuck off and leave me alone. I think to myself “This is what attractive women have to put up with on a continual basis, poor dears”. Quite an eye opener when you realise what it feels like to be on the receiving end of unwanted attention.


          • Universal Hiss says:

            This is not acceptable in a workplace at all for either sex.

            It’s about power over others with sex thrown in.


            I’m glad you are in a position to toss off unwanted attention without fear.

            Others are not so fortunate.


          • @FFS

            You are just logic chopping here.

            On an earlier page I set out what I saw as the established trick here. You say to someone (whose approximate home address is diametrically opposite to where yours is): let us share a taxi.

            Immediately there is deceit. Then when you get to your own home, and know your advances have been rebuffed, you get out of the cab without paying anything and your travel partner has to pay to get himself back the way you have both come and then onwards to his own home.

            One way, you get your reward, the other way the other person pays for your fare when your remuneration is likely to be higher. If that is not shitdom, pray tell me what is?

            You have been around the block enough to deal with it. So have I. Being older and uglier than I used to be, made worse by a ridiculous Captain Birds Eye beard (soon to go when the sun returns), I would probably knock the fucking block off someone who tried that on me,

            I think you should allow some context here. Not everyone else is like you.


            Again, quite right.


          • FFS says:

            Fair comment, it shouldn’t happen, but saying he was molested is exaggerating what was actually being claimed.

            As I say, although it shouldn’t happen I was at least grateful that I have experienced such unwanted attention in ther past since it allowed me to empathise with women that have been on the receiving end of such attention from predatory men (and this also shouldn’t happen). The sense that one’s skin is attempting to make a sharp exit from the scene without you is quite unsettling.

            Fuck – I need to pick my son up from college. CU L8r


          • Guido Fawkes says:

            Too much time on your hands, Steve? You’re not quite retired or dead, yet, are you?
            So, why are you infesting MY blog with your shite?


          • FFS says:

            Steve???? Who’s Steve?


          • @FFS

            Acknowledge and thank you.

            My sensitivity to this comes from my earlier life experience of trouble in this quarter. Let’s face it, it could happen to the son you are picking up. I sincerely hope that will never be the case.

            Consensual sex is where most of us come from. It is wonderful and there is no need to moralise providing any kids are looked after.

            Any way in which obtaining sex is used as a way of persuading the other party to do something they would not want to do otherwise is an abuse of position. Male, female or both does not change the principle IMO.


          • Jimmy says:

            “My sensitivity to this comes from my earlier life experience of trouble in this quarter.”

            Sorry to hear. One word. Lubricant.


          • Well I suppose if you supply lubricant liberally at both ends then that is one way. You would get a cross between Joyce and Mandelson.

            My experience tells me that procreation is more efficiently achieved by more conventional means. Or even recreational enjoyment.

            Have you ever been done for drіving illegally in one-way streets BTW?


          • Psyche the Dog says:

            If you are a young fella and you are not that way inclined you do not go into gay bars or clubs, folks talk and the average young fella takes notice which is a meeting place for gays and they do not go to them, in a place of work very often you have little choice who you work with, but can always make your position clear, if that does not work leave.


      • 111
        Osama the Nazarene says:

        You’re quite right “dead or alive”. Saying it was the perv’s right to remain in the closet was a trifle strong, rights being attached to anything these days. So lets put Wiki’s action down to pragmatism and commend him for his generosity of spirit.


  15. 27
    Jimmy says:

    He thinks like a blonde though.


  16. 36
    Anonymous says:

    This piece felt more about Wickham than it did about any alleged improprieties. Does he really think that he is so attractive that no-one can keep their hands off him?

    Pretty shoddy piece of innuendo-reporting.


  17. 38
    Universal Hiss says:

    Well I’m glad to see Westminster is all for equal opportunities for both males & females to sexually harassed.

    What more could be asked for?


  18. 39
    Hairy arsed Dick says:

    Neo Guido is a hunk!


  19. 42
  20. 51
    Jack Ketch says:

    I was informed by an elderly, retired officer of the Met. that at Charing Cross Police Station they had “The Black Book” that recorded the names of MPs, Lords, and other prominent figures who had “misunderstandings” in the public toilets, grubbier pubs and darker lanes of that part of the West End. The book held many, many names including those who eventually held the highest posts in the G. He told me the story in the 1970s, so his experience covered the 1930s to 1960s. What’s the betting that nothing has really changed and that those “gentlemen”, now with grey-locks and florid cheeks deliberating over second readings of Bills or a big case at the Bailey regret their “moments of madness” of twenty or thirty years ago when reminded by someone with a vested interest and an old, but credible sworn statement.


  21. 53
    Lydia Wickham says:

    What a good joke! I can hardly write for laughing!


  22. 54
    Joss Taskin says:

    Any truth in the rumour that ████ ‘changed my tune ‘ Hoon has dumped Crabina Trimingham and is now going out with Jenny Talwarts ?


    • 57

      Is that a name or a medical condition?


    • 136
      Chris Huhne says:

      Yes, I took her out to the finest seafood restaurant in Eastleigh.
      For an hors d’oeuvre they brought us six oysters.
      The first course consisted of langoustines.
      For the entree we had lobster thermidor.
      And then for dessert I gave her crabs.


  23. 61
    Shooty* says:

    This is all very homophobic.

    Like with demands from a certain peaceful religion, isn’t it obligatory to do everything they demand nowadays?


    • 152
      Blowing Whistles says:

      After reading down to here at this time (of posting) – Indeed.

      Seems they are desperately seeking the at arms length help of the homo’s and gypo’s. They are indeed desperate to place any group before them to destroy those who speak out – the truth, thw whole truth and the unbearable truth that they thought they had ‘covered up’.


  24. 62
    Uncle Monty says:

    “I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary.”


  25. 65
    Anon. says:


    • 89
      Rightwinggit says:

      Hello Zit..still supporting Tim Yeo on the record?


    • 125
      The British Public says:

      Oh, NOW you understand it.

      What a total fraud and humbug you are Zac. Goldsmith.

      Everyone in Westminster has been conspiting to avoid being accountable to the British public for years, you included.


  26. 67
    Ken Barlow says:

    Im the cock ‘o’ the north


  27. 68
    • 75
      Black Rod says:

      Why can we lock up Tommy Robinson for fraud but we can’t impeach MPs who have stolen thousands of pounds from taxpayers?


    • 101
      CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

      I seem to remember a little catamite labour cabinet minister Mandl..er……….Mandle Mandel………………
      got it…………….. Mandelson falsifying a mortgage claim does any body out there know the outcome ?


      • 110
        A model citizen says:

        Isn’t he the chappie that came out with that new post-democracy thingy idea? I can’t wait for them to introduce that here. I’m so tired of having to go a vote every couple of years. Council this, EU that, then there’s that general election thing every five years…it’s all so confusing.

        Let those professional politicians do the thinking for us I say.


        • 248
          Psyche the Dog says:

          On here, quite so, so as long as the professional politicians are Cons or Conservative UKippers (as opposed to ex liebore and LibDem UKippers)


      • 126
        Peter Mangledbum says:

        Well, generally, the outcome is I’ve got a big house I could in no way afford and I get lots of money off the EU providing I lie all the time and tell you the EU’s brilliant and you’ll all die if you vote to leave.

        Not bad, given I worked for a government that pretty-well fucked the whole of Britain.


        • 161
          Blowing Whistles says:

          He’s an ‘owned’ Militant politicised homosexual criminal – and that’s just for starters.

          No one of his ilk could gain the title Lord – if they did NOT possess rather a lot of dirt on rather a lot of others – for ease of persuasion! persua….


          • (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

            And, allegedly, not too worried about “getting in bed” with the filthy rich.
            Oo er missis.
            Up the workers.


  28. 74
    Ginger Rodent says:


  29. 76
    Public School Headmaster says:

    They were perfectly normal boys before they came to board at my school – motto ‘Depravity maketh the man’


  30. 78
    Gordon Brown says:

    At 6.30 tomorrow morning I shall be putting down an early day motion.


  31. 80
    One Term Dave says:

    Bumsex is the future.


  32. 83
    Mycroft says:

    As with any unwanted attention, I find a fucking slap does the trick,If that doesn’t do it then a quick reminder that these “gentlemen” mostly have a wife at home!


  33. 84
    nell says:

    Well the article is a little biased in that alex whatsisname is trying to say that only tory mp’s are guilty of sexual misdemeanors . Is is very clear from the rennard affair and chrisbryantmp and his disgraceful web photo in his knickers that this sort of culture is cross party not one party.


    • 92
      Smart Defrag says:

      No wally cares what you type, nell. Fuck off, if you like.


      • 105
        Universal Hiss says:

        & there is no need to be so unpleasant to Nell is there?


      • 135
        FFS says:

        Fuck off “if you like”. What the hell kind of abuse is that?

        ‘Tis neither one thing nor t’other.


      • 172
        Blowing Whistles says:

        I may have had one or two differences with nell (whichever one) but the content of the comment is truthful – in as much as I have been stating it for quite some time.

        It is the ‘timing’ of the “Reactiuonary Reply” (within 5 minutes) which is your undoing – cross party troll Rsole.


    • 96
      Universal Hiss says:

      He doesn’t say that at all.

      He was recounting something that happened to him.

      Yes he mentioned the political persuasion of the person.

      In the words of the great Ed Balls,so what?


    • 138
      FFS says:

      It is also biased in the sense that is you begin reading on the assumption that these old duffers were simply drunk and being overly friendly in that way that drunks can be sometimes. Only one of them actually touched him – the others might simply have been looking for someone to prop them up or give them an excuse for further drinking.


  34. 88
    Mark Oaten says:

    It sounds like that Tory MP was shitfaced.


  35. 90
    The Prime Mincer says:

    I always use the back door in the strangers bar.


  36. 93
    Having a column in The S_n has generted some interesting comments, has it not? says:

    Nice one!


  37. 103
    The LibLabCon Cerberus says:

    The only way to climb the greasy pole in the HoC is to climb a greasy pole.


  38. 108
    Mary Creagh says:

    Typical uKIp.
    Getting worked up about the colour of trains when the real issue facing any serious, legitimate party is ..



  39. 112
    Ed Balls says:

    I’ve been put in charge of drafting Labour’s economic manifesto for the next election. Can anybody tell me, does umpteen come before or after eleventeen?


  40. 115
    David Ward says:

    ^^I’m having a cold Kronenburg right now and a nice Chinese meal in front of a roaring fire

    What are you doing Guido ?


  41. 116
    Tin foil top hat says:

    Elm Tree Guest House


  42. 123
    • 129
      Teapot says:

      Mortgage fraud is a crime.

      It is odd, though, how few bank employees who committed it when creating the sub-prime debts that were flogged off as the shitty derivatives to help bring about the credit crunch have been prosecuted for it.


    • 130
      Adolf Hitler, National Socialist, says:

      Do you have a life of your own, Jimmy?

      Or is your sole purpose on this planet to just show slavish devotion to the Labour Party and its spiteful hatred of everything that doesn’t fit its fucked-up anti-success PC mindset?


    • 140
      FFS says:

      I think, Jimmy, that the EDL are more on your side of the game? Or do you think the working class don’t do Islamphobia? Or is it atacit admission that Labour have given up on the working class and Islam is the way forward?


  43. 136
    A Penguin says:

    The Australian government is seekng cost recovery for the $2.4 million costs incurred due to the rescue efforts required for Professor Turkey and his eco-loons.

    Meanwhle, Professor Turkey and his fellow “scientists”, (who snuck back into Tasmania a couple of days ago) have been remarkably quiet…


  44. 143
    Reginald D Hunter says:

    By the way Guido, your website is fucked. It’s putting the comments in the worng places.


  45. 146

    As Jimmy’s interlocutor upon his being awarded Comment of the Day may I congratulate him on his entry (very much On/T) whilst remaining crestfallen that the red reality appears to have prevailed. :-(


  46. 147
    David Cameron - Useless waste of space says:

    Made mistake of flipping to BBC News site and saw picture of Cameron looking like he was about to lash out at someone saying patience is needed on the economy.

    Ok: Here it is straight.

    The economy has been a pile shit since Cameron got in to office. First two years understandable as Labour truly fucked the thing up.

    However, the Olympics then happened: What didn’t happen was all the economic good news that was being ramped before.

    Following this, Ed Balls lied about triple dip, but then the economy itself has been fairly flat.

    In the midst of this, the worthless fuck Cameron has decided to open the doors to a bunch of useless benefit seekers from R’omania and B’ulgaria. Not to mention tried to go to war in Syr!a on an intelligence document that quite frankly had Al Campbell blushing.

    Then the fucktard Cameron gives us what his gut feels on the subject of climate change, and attempts to sell that as a settled science, whilst completely fucking failing to get Defra and the Environment Agency doing basic water management – which they are paid to do – and putting the UK at risk of lights out with a fucked up windmill policy that is forcing prices up.

    Where he gets the gall to call for patience is a mystery.

    In more rational times, this retarded sack of filth would be removed from office, some time back it must be added.

    Rant over – but these are the issues working against the Conservative MP’s who are trying and doing a good job. Those in the marginals must realize by now that Cameron is planning to give them the Maria Hutching’s treatment at the next GE.

    In any case – the economy will likely not recover on UK Main Street as the illusion of recovery at the moment will be shattered when the Fed starts to increase it’s interest rates.

    Being at this end of the global carry trade may wind up putting the UK at serious risk, unless of course the funny money flooding our way is put into the FTSE, and the FTSE subsequently crashed.

    The only long term fix for the UK economy is:

    Exit the EU.


    • 186
      Was child abuse institutionalised at Nick Cleggs old school ? says:

      You forgot to mention that him and Hague attempted to embroil us in a war with Syria on bugger all evidence.


      • 192
        Blowing Whistles says:

        TPTB – need a fucking war to distract from their unholy despicable behaviour – over decades which is now what the middle classes have woken up to.


        • 201
          Not Blowing Whistles says:

          They really need a war in order to consolidate previous territorial gains and increase sphere of influence.

          From an economic point of view: The US needs war in order to consume its inventory, and build political support for the next generation of weapons to be procured.

          The US needs Europe to engage in war so as the member states further deplete their military forces making them more interdependent – ie. moving towards Federal Europe.

          They also do not want Europe to be a peer competitor in the military sphere, or start signing arms deals with Russ!a: This is despite certain key Russ!an weapons systems being much better an cheaper than the equivalents in the West.

          (If you want to stop a drone, you can buy the appropriate jamming device for about $2,500 from Russ!a. But, if you need to confuse a guided missile in a high rise building, firing up a microwave oven with the door removed can do the trick nicely: Don’t be anywhere near the microwave when the missile finds it…)

          The subtext for the European theater is that the US does not want war in Europe, and they need credible Federal Europe sized arms contractors to provide competition to their own in order to reduce domestic costs. That in a nutshell is John Major’s interest.

          The US is projecting some of its Foreign Policy through Europe at present, which is why the obvious attempt to reclaim the old Ottoman Empire territory is not proceeding naturally.

          The balance of power at present is really held by the UK and Turkey.

          The decisions they make with respect Europe in the next year or so will set the course of history for the next few generations.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Anyone who entertains blair on any world stage and those who have paid him – really do need to get their shit together – because ‘he is not tolerated by the public anymore’. Are they serving coffee at Davos?

            Chilcot – NOW. I INVITE the leaks “YESTERDAY”. And what of Buff hoon and M Dugher?


          • You're Lookinh the Wrong Way says:

            They need a war because Saudi and Qatar are pulling the strings across the whole middle east now, with US complicity. I’m speculating that they want to restore the caliphate and have done a deal to have US support as long as the oil keeps flowing and Israel is left alone.


    • 256
      Anonymous says:

      Why bother with benefits, when there is a much better living to be made from metal thieving, cashpoint scams and begging.


  47. 149
    Judge Dreadful says:

    20 minutes is about the time it takes for the Jury to get from the court room to to their jury room, make 11 coffees, unwrap the little packets of biscuits, eat them, finish their coffees, elect a foreman, have a vote, call for the usher, tell the usher they have made a decision, who then will go and tell the judge they have produced a verdict, wait for the usher to come back and collect them and then walk back into court.

    Whichever legal genius in the CPS brought this prosecution should have the costs of the trial deducted from their salary.



  48. 166
    White rabbit says:

    Damn it ! What a shame, I’ve got to exfoliate and moisturise tonight.


    • 247
      (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

      Actually watched a rerun of Deadwood instead, like a proper QT but with swearing and a bit more like real life.


  49. 178
    Blowing Whistles says:

    They have all been empowered and placed there as an affront to what is normal and decent by those who (as expressed as in freedom of expression above) hide themselves behind many cloaks of respectability and deceptions.


  50. 188
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    They all got wandering hands… £, $, +, i.


  51. 191
    Nick Clegg says:

    Mr Hancock you’ve been naughty, please report to the office tomorrow for some good old fashioned spanking.


  52. 198
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Bill the Roach – seen on NZ TV ‘lying through his teeth’ prompoted someone to make a complaint – which has been taken up by the prosecution.

    Take fucking note The MET Re: McBride on BBC newsnight – making a public invitation for complaints to be made against him.

    Does an ‘intelligence unit’ of the MET read this blog – or are they all illiterate fucking cognitive dissonance sufferers?


  53. 202
    BBC news special report says:

    Leverage over the puppets?

    Install pliable puppets with shall we say ‘habits’ and addictions and they are more likely to follow orders while playing front of house manikins, obedient just as long as their desires are serviced. You can better understand these weasels if you know who they really are and what kind of degenerates they are.


  54. 203
    The Prime Mincer says:


  55. 217
    Tarquin Bumboy-Feltch says:

    I loved the attention as an intern. Oooooo shut that red box!


  56. 220
    Potts says:

    I note in the Times that 130 private schools have employed pea dough file teachers over the last 50 years.

    I felt the report was rather unfair on two establishments – Gayhurst and Old Ride prep schools – which are at least upfront about it.


  57. 221
    Anonymous says:

    “I was reduced to fabricating a girlfriend who I had to meet. The lie worked but I was left with a 45-minute journey back south, and he stuck me with the whole bill.”

    There’s a cryptic clue here, this was clearly Micheal Fabricant.

    The mustache should have been a dead giveaway.


  58. 223
    Blowing Whistles says:

    There are lies, damned lies and statistics

    And when the numbers DO NOT add up they do not ADD UP. Go figure.


  59. 228
    Captain Haddock says:

    Scotch QT without Nicola Sturgeon? Very fishy!


  60. 231
    MP Penny Mordaunt's belly-flops says:

    Shiittttttt, kaaaaaboooooom x2


  61. 232
    Sins of the father... says:


  62. 235
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Having looked at that video where I am from that is a simple case of jaywalking by the Press.

    Arrested and charged yet ?


  63. 254
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve reached an age when an unwelcome grope would not be entirely unwelcome. Someone should tell these bright young things their gropability has a sell-by date.


  64. 258
    Lean Britain's Groin Mole says:

    “….and he duly followed me into the gents and licked my mole..and I said come intern for me and he duly did…and I said ‘one day you will become deputy prime minister for the tory party’ and he duly did ….”


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