January 23rd, 2014

Hancock Charged


  1. 1
    Spartacus says:

    A lad like that coming from a good family – impossible


    • 3
      Legal Adviser to idiots says:

      Being a Hancock that will be plea bargained down to a fondle.


      • 12

        Surely the Dean is responsible for matters of discipline?


        • 86
          Back to basics says:

          Charming people, journalists. I am sure they did nothing to warrant any possible reaction from Handycock’s son.

          I wonder if this will turn out like yesterdays acquital of Andrew Woodhouse. Apparently one thief attacked him resulting in the thief having his legs and and an arm broken. Woodhouse presumably obviously acted in self defence if he has been acquitted. He even sat on the burglars until the police arrived rather than running away the as criminals do.

          So what did Plod do? Prosecute him. When will they learn it is the victim that merits the sympathy, not the criminal.


          • Prince Rupert says:

            I have some sympathy with his son, after all he is not the story, he is not an MP, and to be hounded by strange people pestering you and aggravating you, and then taking a photo of you after you had been knocked over by a car, rather than running over to see if you were all right the tosser photographed him, and the young chap lost his temper. However, as John Prescott was never prosecuted for punching someone, then neither should this chap, he was clearly provoked.


          • Psyche the Dog says:

            Young Rupe, their is a law about taking pictures of people without their permission, so what gives the Sexpress photographer the right to stand in the rain to take photos of the Hancock amily and comers and goers to his house. Now if a press photographer was standing outside outside either of the Fawkeses homes, uninvited of course, I am sure they would get their henchmen to move them on their way.


          • Wanda Ringhanz says:

            What specific law’s that then?


    • 81
      Ma­qbo­ul says:

      At least the photographer should be grateful that Hancock Jr didn’t club him with his dick.


    • 83
      (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

      With a name like Dean? Right up there with Darryl, Wayne, Grant and Craig!


    • 85
      The Critic says:

      Good with his hands,just like Dad.


      • 115
        Wee Willy Winkee says:

        Needs to learn to swing from his hips, not his shoulder, and keep his feet on the floor.

        No extra strength is required, but there is a considerable improvement in the face mashing effect, especially without gloves.


        • 116
          Jethro Q Walrus-Titty says:

          We’ll yes but the right foot needs to swivel in this case into the punch for bone breaking effect.Id be happy to demonstrate to Handycock junior.


        • 123
          Psyche the Dog says:

          Also as you throw the punch twist the wrist so that when the fist makes contact the knuckles have rubbing effect.


    • 124
      Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

      It is all easily explained. Handy got Dean, who is a Dealer for Handy’s boys, to create a diversion so that handy could escape in Jaqui’s mini to get down to the Lodge. Waiting for him at the Lodge to give him adivce on handling the current situation were the Chief Constable and Chief Superintendent, Hampshire Conatbulary and Portsmouth police, The Chief Executive and City Solicitor, Portsmouth City Council and, the Leader PCC, together with myself. It was decided that the police will exonerate Dean on the basis of false indentification and will subsequently charge the 69 year, wheelchair bound, pensioner, Les cummings with affray and grievous bodily harm. The evidence is being put together as I write this blog. The CPS have already indicated that they will prosecute even though they have not yet received the evidence. Jahbulon.


  2. 2
    Lets go goosestepping with the Daily Heil says:

    That blonde woman throws a pretty decent right hook.


  3. 4
    Oh really says:

    unexpected. tales are always – of the unexpected.


  4. 6
    puncher says:

    Great punch love it? paparazzi scum


  5. 7

    Shame. He should have been given an award for ridding the streets of a public nuisance. Giving a blood-sucking pap a seeing-to is a benefit to the community..


  6. 8
    JUST IN...... says:


    • 14
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      Looks like he was hit by that car just before he lashed out though.


      • 19
        Django don't believe everything you see!!! says:

        It looks like a case of “hit and stop” (as opposed to hit and run) followed by a right hook?


      • 20
        Sir Michael Edwardes says:

        Was the car damaged at all?


      • 22
        His dd is a scumbag, but what has the son done wrong here? says:

        If some cùnt tried to run me down, I’d knock his fucking head in too.


        • 34
          Hancock Senior Ran over Hancock Junior...In bid to Escape says:

          The car did not stop. It was dr1ven by his dad Maqthew Hancock MP. For some reason Hancock junior then lost his rag and attacked the snapper (allegedly)


          • Hancock Senior Ran over Hancock Junior...In bid to Escape says:

            Correction Mike Hancock MP


          • Spartacus says:

            looks like the classic ‘walk backwards into the road and claim you were hit by someone not paying attention’ ploy.

            anybody’s but my fault guv.

            and here is my compensation claim for your insurance company

            hope he gets sent down. then at least, he may get to keep in touch with his dad in prison


          • Portsmouth News says:

            Handycock normally runs over his son on Thursdays. We publish the times next to the tide tables.


          • Mike. says:

            I deny driving the car and knocking over my son.
            Come to that, I deny everything and anything.


          • Christopher Michael Huhne-Hancock says:

            My wife was driving


          • Anonymous says:

            I hear Chris Huhne and his son are really close too. Being a LibDem M.P takes its toll on family life. How anyone can accuse UKIP of being a lot of… OK they are probably right.


      • 110
        Tom Catesby says:

        Maybe it was a deliberate hit and run, until the driver realised a the last minute it was Handycock minor and not the real intended target.


  7. 9
    Nick says:

    Don’t worry, no-one was going to vote for us anyway


  8. 11
    Spartacus says:

    It’s a shame that somebody else got the picture the photographer was hoping for!

    And the blonde bird will have a hefty bill for press camera rebuild plus lens rebuild and repair from my experience of DSLRs.


  9. 13
    Fish says:

    Bumblebee disingenuously asks his Scotch QT audience, ‘Is anyone in favour of Independence /going to vote, ‘Yes’?’

    (To his rigged audience, that is who have been, throughout, applauding the Nats panellists)


    • 26
      McAdder says:

      Problem in Scotchland QT is it’s hard to find anyone on the right.


      • 53
        Diogenes says:

        They never asked me. The no is in the bag.


      • 127
        Psyche the Dog says:

        Mainly because the Cons are unloved in Scotchland, remind me, how many MPs do they have there, but there seem to be a load of Scotchland Cons and those with Scotch surnames names, representing English constituencies.


  10. 15
    Mrs Handycock says:


    Come in, your tea is ready.


  11. 17
    Winston says:

    I had thought the LibDems were just well meaning wishy-washy harmless types.

    I should have realised that makes a perfect front and safe house for deviants and pervs.

    I wonder if they will split again and rebrand back to the Liberal party?


  12. 21
    White D says:

    I’m glad I don’t live next door to the Hancocks. We don’t want any violent sex pests down our street.


  13. 24
    Haggis people says:

    When its a QT from Scotland, the viewing figures must be tiny


  14. 27
    Hancock Senior Ran over Hancock Junior...In bid to Escape says:


  15. 30
    Mike Hancock says:

    My son’s got a fist of fury.


  16. 33
    Question Time says:

    Scottish Tory Ruth Davidson is quite impressive.


  17. 38
    Hancock and Son says:

    Wait a minute. You mean Hancock actually once met a woman who let him impregnate her? Good grief. The generosity of some women never fails to amaze me.


  18. 41
    By-election now! says:


  19. 42
    Mike Hancock says:

    We Hancocks like connecting with voters.


  20. 43
    Matthew Hancock MP says:

    Once again, may I take the opportunity to reiterate that I am in no way related to any of these individuals.

    Unless it is later discovered that there is a very large legacy due me if I prove to be a distant cousin.



    • 55
      Littlewoods Pools, Unclaimed Prizes dept says:

      Is that Mr Michael Thomas Hancock of 27, Rockingham Way, Fareham PO16 8QS?


  21. 45
    Mike Hancock says:

    My son’s also a ladies man. Just like his dad.


  22. 47
    DT says:


    • 61
      Spartacus says:

      and a ”renegotiation of our relationship with the eu” (common market)


      • 90
        Raise Interest Rates Now! says:

        “Recovery for all”

        “Marriage pour tous”

        Cameron the idiot cannot even come up with his own soundbites!


  23. 48
    Hancock's Half Hour says:

    Gimme a chance, Constable.


  24. 50
    The Bee & Pea says:


  25. 52
    Chris Huhne says:

    I wish to confirm I am indeed in a relationship with a man. Carina is the love of my life and he’s helped me through a tough time.


  26. 66
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:



  27. 68
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Surely the driver of that car should be traced.

    Seems like a case of hit and run, not to mention driving without due care and attention.

    Those are very serious offences. Or has Hancock got a points deal with Vicky Pryce now Cable has brought her back into government.


  28. 69
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Surely the dr!ver of that car should be traced.

    Seems like a case of hit and run, not to mention dr!ving without due care and attention.

    Those are very serious offences. Or has Hancock got a points deal with Vicky Pryce now Cable has brought her back into government.


  29. 71
    Ashridge Business School says:

    Chris Huhne, Chris Rennard and Mike Handycock could use a weekend of quality time at a bonding session. Knobs out on the table time.


  30. 73
    Owen Jones says:

    Hello Jimmy.


  31. 79
    benefits treat says:

    Does White Dee ever stop smoking?


  32. 87
    albacore says:

    Take great care, now, when you open your gob
    Reports of the thought police on the job
    Do seem, these days, to be somewhat muted
    On some arrests that are executed
    Big Brother’s still out there, doing his worst
    Like, for instance, if you put Britain first


  33. 88
    Forward with Guidance (deceased) says:

    Fair dos to Hancock Junior he has a right gutless photographer at the end of his road loitering with a great big bright red umbrella and a long lens camera.

    He tells him to fuck off. The guy carries on regardless so he uses a bit of muscle to move him on.

    Best he gets down the Courts this morning and sues for breach of privacy and harassment.

    The country would be a lot better today if there were more people like Hancock Junior around who were prepared to make unacceptable behavior part of their business.


    • 91

      What? Patrolling public roads and telling people they have no right to be on them?

      You might be happier in Pyongyang.


    • 98
      Point of Information says:

      Provided the long lens was not pointed through the window of a private residence, there is absolutely nothing in law to prevent anyone from standing on a public highway taking photographs.

      If the photographers were believed to be loitering with intent then the police should have been contacted with a complaint.

      What happened there was not really different in anyway to that bizarre footage of a black guy randomly assaulting a woman on a street which was caught on CCTV and made the news the other year.

      The Papz know the law, and know where the lines are.

      Now it looks like the dr!ver of that vehicle needs to be found and dealt with for the hit and run / dr!ving without due care offenses that were committed.

      If it could be argued that the dr!ver was intending to use the vehicle as a weapon against the Photographer, that is attempted murder right there.

      The individual who assaulted the photographer, and caused criminal damage to his camera has committed a string of offences which whilst perhaps not warranting a custodial sentence beyond a few months and a hefty fine, must none the less be prosecuted as he is clearly a danger to the general public.

      From that footage there is absolutely nothing to suggest that the photographers were inciting the outburst, other than standing on a public street taking photographs of individuals and vehicles on that street, as were the other people with cameras who would be somewhat reliable eye witnesses in court.

      Whatever one feels about Papz, the right to freely take photographs in public is shared by all under the law and no one – including a police officer or council official, let alone some Hancock pleb – has the right to deny you this using violence.

      A court order, if issued against a specific individual is the only means for doing that, and then a credible legal reason is required for a judge to issue such an order.

      This footage, combined with that of the son being arrested and Hancock being thrown out of Parliament should perhaps be montaged over Yakety Sax.

      The red umbrella was brandished as a weapon and appeared to be thrown at the individual who was subsequently assaulted. It belonged to the individual who was committing the assault, not the photographer, who offered no resistance or intimidation at the time.


      • 103
        CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

        There is no law against pointing a long telephoto lens at any thing providing it is done from a public place.


        • 106
          Joe Public II says:

          Have you tried photographing plods recently, while they are going about their “lawful duties” ?
          Those fuckers consider themselves above the law, just like the thieving LibLabConners


  34. 89
    David Cameron, an utter wanker says:

    This time next year, we’ll all be millionaires.


    • 92
      Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

      Ed, give it a rest. There was no triple dip.


    • 94
      retardEd Miliband says:

      Thoon I will be Pwime Minithter and I will copy the thucthethful thothialitht polithieth of Pwethident Hollande and thith will make you all vewy wich, like me.

      One Naythion, cotht of living cwithith etc etc.


  35. 93
    A pugilist says:

    Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.


  36. 95

    Last night, I had managed a crud and was looking for a Penhaligon. However my squop was boondocked and whilst I was picking up my squidger again, Jimmy walked off with the Lunch. :-(


  37. 99
    altruism in industry says:

    Middle class, intellectual Ukrainians want to get rid of corrupt government and be ruled by EU


  38. 104
    Canon EOS-1D says:



  39. 107
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Dean was apparently staggering about in the street, stumbled in front of a car, got clipped by the car (which failed to stop) and then Dean decided to lash out at whoever happened to be in the vicinity, in this case a photographer.

    Rather early to be in a tired and emotion condition, wasn’t it?


  40. 108
    Des Aster says:

    He was from the DAILY EXPRESS!!!! It’s impossible to hit anyone from the Daily DeadPrincess soft enough.


    • 131
      Dirty Desmond says:

      Come to think of it, where was Handcock on the night of 31 August 1997 and has he ever owned a white Fiat Uno ?


  41. 121
    Peg Leg Handycock says:



  42. 132
    Her Majesty's Crown Prosecution Service says:

    We hope to reach an amicable settlement where Mr Hancock will plead guilty to the greatly lesser charge of Common Assault and receive a restorative community sentence. This will save the taxpayer from the costs associated with burdening the courts and prison service.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,646 other followers