January 22nd, 2014

Reports: Mike Hancock Suspended as LibDem Councillor

Following Guido’s story this morning, it is being reported down in Portsmouth that:

Another LibDem perv bites the dust. But why has it taken this long, Nick?



  1. 1
    Havocman says:

    Good job the Lib Dems have got such strong and robust disciplinary procedures.

  2. 2
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

  3. 3
  4. 4
    What a Plonker says:

    One thing’s for sure Gerald Vernon-Jackson fids not do this voluntarily

  5. 5
    cep says:

    Suspended in suspenders
    His pants are in the menders
    And his chap is very tender…..

  6. 6
    Mike Hancock says:

    Please give me a quick wank, you never know my princess xxx

  7. 7


    Are they all allowed a grope?

  8. 8
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    ‘And if we’ve lost your trust, we hope that’s how we can start to win it back’.


  9. 9
    Vince, I know nothing Cable says:

    And Nick Clegg? What has Nick got to say?

  10. 10

    Before we stick it in the blender.

  11. 11
    The Boys are on a roll says:

  12. 12
    Joe Public & all Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    He just doesn’t need suspending from the Pommey Lib Dems but thrown
    out of public life altogether & also cas*trated……along with his ejection
    for good from the HoC asap……

    Or is Handycocks slap on the wrist being orchestrated by his local
    Lod*ge as usual with the Leb Dims ??

  13. 13
    A great big mess says:

    So we now have David Cameron the homosexuals knight in shining armour.

    I thought I had heard and seen it all before this.

  14. 14
    cep says:

    And then return to sender.

  15. 15
    Jack Ketch says:

    Hancock and the Lib-Dems solve the Job crisis—hand jobs all round in Portsmouth, blow jobs in Westminster and snow jobs everywhere else!

  16. 16
    a cheeky scouser says:

    This handycocock person makes Dave Lee Travis sound like an angel.

  17. 17
    Elsie Hargreaves 5 Railway Terrace Dewsbury says:

    Are all these jobs of which you talk legal?

  18. 18
    John Bellingham says:

    Hancock’s half-minute?

  19. 19
    Jack Ketch says:

    Limited hours, cash-in-hand.

  20. 20
    I have never been fondled by Hancock says:


  21. 21
    Shooty* says:

    “Mike? Nick here. Nick. Nick Clegg. Deputy PM? Yeah, that one. Anyway, so, look, we’ve got to suspend you for a bit, just a coupld of weeks. Don’t worry, we’ll wait for the next moron fodder story to come along, like a Kardashian baby or something, and then let you back in. You and Rennard both. What do you say? Oh, come on, don’t be like that. It’s only for a while. Tell you what: you can have a crack at my missus. Deal? Great, thanks.”

  22. 22
    Tim ( not nice-but dim ) Yoyo says:

    OH, FUCK !!

  23. 23
    Grand Master@Queen Street says:

    Very sorry Handy – we couldn’t prevent the report being leaked. Our friends in the Hampshire Police will do their best to prevent things getting any worse. Keep your pecker up. Looking forward to seeing you out in Spain. Boaz.

  24. 24
    Sunny Jim says:

    Still an MP though – for now…

  25. 25
    Rolf Harris says:

    A sad day indeed spot, he taught me all I know.

  26. 26
    I knew she was a Russian spy but I didn't care because she was young and fit says:

    Do you want to see my pink nosed puppy? He’s VERY friendly.

  27. 27
    The Boy Nick says:

    All I want is a quickie clegg-over ,

  28. 28
    The only good thing you can say about him says:

    At least he’s not a bender

  29. 29
    Jack Ketch says:

    Then maybe we can look forward to the term “a quick Wank” appearing in Hansard.
    If he has the gall to speak in the House, just what will other MPs call out as he rises? (so to speak)

  30. 30
    Dirty ole Bugger says:

    I don’t get why they do this shit. Why oh why don’t they find some call-girl that barely speaks any English and do whatever? Most of them are gone once their dodgy student visa expires.

  31. 31
    M Oaten says:

    Another shitty day for Lib-Dems.

  32. 32
    Itchy Scrote says:

    So, Mr Hancock, about that CBE….

  33. 33
    We are wll wondering says:

    if a Lib-Dem can keep his pants on.

  34. 34
    The BBC Three (And Counting...) says:

    Bloody Amateur

  35. 35
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    My old Grannie always told me that if I ever met a man who introduced himself using the word “cock” I should run a mile.

  36. 36
    Chris Huhne says:

    You sure?

  37. 37
    Not big in Portsmouth says:

    Remember, I’ve got a little black book too. Boaz.

  38. 38

    He would be if he saw Olly Grender!

  39. 39
    I had an uncle a bit like that says:

    They have the delusion that women find them irresistible.

  40. 40
    David 'Sturmbannführer' Ward says:

    I am saddened by this despicable attack on one our great leaders.

    Therefore I decree that the time has come to teach the citiziens of Portsmouth a final lesson of subservience and humility”

    Wipe the town of Lidice off the map.
    Spare no one.

  41. 41
    Bill Quango MP says:

    He seems to have modeled his image on you also.

  42. 42
    I like plenty of beer with my crisps says:

    It has taken the Liberals years to do something about this man.

    Guido has been warning us about him for years.

    If this is the level of Liberal administration I would be a lot happier if they pulled out of this awful Government right now.

  43. 43
    Squeeze my knuckles of Sheen says:

    Are you insinuating that there is a Masonic cover-up going on in the Hampshire area?

  44. 44
    Why is Edinburgh shitty filled to brim with thick leeches? says:

    About time! Disgraceful!

  45. 45


  46. 46
    Nick Clegg says:

    oh for fuck’s sake! What is it now!

  47. 47
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    Paddy Pants-down

    And this lot have pretentious to hold the moral high ground

    Cable no where to be seen whilst all this is going on

    Has Jo Swinson made any pronouncement on Reynard – thought not

  48. 48


    I know that this is a special day for the LibDems. But we don’t want the two Eds getting upset. So I have an idea for them.

    The President of France drew himself up to his full height and announced that the French capital gains tax would apply to all properties that had been owned for less than thirty years – yes, that’s right – 30.

    It means that if someone needs to move house for a job change, they have to pay tax on any gain they have made in that timescale and then buy back into that mаrket with that much less money than they started with.

    The effect has been brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Guess what has happened to the property mаrket in France?

    It has gone through the roof? Not quite. It has collapsed. So people are no longer moving and employees cannot attract people from other areas without paying enormous sums to compensate them for their real loss.

    The tax take from gains tax has fallen too. Quelle surprise, as someone said.

    Just in case either, or both, Eds look in here for some ideas, have I got one for you here! We can discuss that Lords appointment later.

  49. 49
    Rinka the Dog says:

    You forgot pie-guzzling paedophile Cyril Smith.

  50. 50
    M102 says:

    Big Cyril

  51. 51
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

    Sarah’s at the end of her Teather.

  52. 52
    Russian FSB says:

    Dig deep comrade, you are of no use to us outside the tent.

  53. 53
    MI5 & MI6 says:

    Stand firm old chap, you are of no use to us once the Russians have no use for you.

  54. 54
    Anomalous says:

    Way off topic but worth mentioning.

    This story is circulating in France. I don’t know whether it’s true. If you can’t read the French, either use Google Translate or be content with the brief explanation that Hollande and his woman have had a violent bust-up at the Élysée and started throwing antiques at each other, resulting in 3 million euros’ worth of damages.


    Rixe à l’Elysée : 1 victime à l’hôpital !

    Quelques mots sur la scène de ménage qui a récemment opposé Valérie T. à François H., dont nous autres contribuables feront finalement les frais (Les faits sont rapportés par un haut fonctionnaire du Mobilier National – condisciple d’un ami).

    Dans la matinée du vendredi 10 janvier, le Mobilier National en charge de l’aménagement des palais nationaux et autres résidences de l’État (ministères et ambassades) est appelé en urgence à l’Élysée pour procéder à une intervention sur site.

    À l’arrivée au Palais, le haut fonctionnaire découvre dans des salons et dans le bureau attribué à Hollande, du mobilier et des objets décoratifs tels que vases précieux de Sèvres, pendule signée par un grand horloger du début du XIXe siècle, consoles, guéridons, fauteuils renversés voire brisés comme pour les garnitures de cheminée gisant en morceaux épars au milieu de papiers et de matériel de bureau, le dessus de la table de travail ayant été balayé avec violence semble-t-il (vases de la manufacture de Sèvres en porcelaine et monture en bronze doré, objets d’art de très grande valeur artistique et historique).

    Les dégâts sont estimés à trois millions d’euros, compte tenu de la grande valeur patrimoniale de ce mobilier d’art et du coût de la restauration pour ce qui est réparable. Les débris ont été soigneusement récupérés pendant que les aides de camp réunissaient les papiers confidentiels éparpillés sur le tapis ; de nouveaux objets ont été livrés pour remplacer ceux brisés ou mutilés.
    Explication officielle : aucune ! Explication officieuse dans le cornet de l’oreille des fonctionnaires du MN par ceux de l’Élysée : scène terrible entre Hollande et sa maîtresse en titre Valérie quelques heures plus tôt. Après les cris et hurlements, la mégère a eu une crise de folie furieuse, se jetant sur Hollande ; écartée par les gardes, la furie s’est livrée à du vandalisme dans le palais national, après avoir jeté les papiers et objets du bureau présidentiel, elle a projeté à terre vases, pendule et autres objets précieux, renversé fauteuils et guéridons, elle est neutralisée par les gardes dans le Boudoir d’Argent ou elle a poursuivi son oeuvre destructrice. Le médecin sur place lui administre un calmant (sous forme de piqûre) et l’expédie dans la plus grande discrétion à l’hôpital (où elle séjourne depuis une semaine). Avant que la dose fasse effet et que la donzelle soit évacuée, hurlements, pleurs, imprécations et menaces ont été proférés par l’offensée remplissant le palais de l’écho de sa hargne.

    Gros émoi donc à l’Élysée, mais une seule question demeure : qui paye ? Quand un type se dispute avec sa régulière ou sa copine et que les deux protagonistes en viennent à casser la vaisselle et plus si mésentente très grande, ce sont les deux tourtereaux en rupture d’affection qui payent avec leurs deniers sous les bris et dégâts. Mais dans ce cas, ce sera facturé aux contribuables (pour ce qui est réparable, le reste étant du patrimoine perdu définitivement). De quel droit Hollande et sa mégère règlent-ils leurs comptes avec le patrimoine de la France (car jamais la facture ne sera présentée aux deux misérables) ?

  55. 55
    Oily Grinder says:

    Baroness Grender to you pleb!

  56. 56
    Bark at the Moon Broon says:

    Sarah has me on a tether.

  57. 57
    Tim Farton, President of the Cockroach Party says:


  58. 58
    Pete from Northampton says:

    Anyone got a job selling mops?

    I’m a really good mop salesman

  59. 59
    FFS says:

    This guy Hollande is supposed to be a great left-wing intellectual. He’s written loads of academic books on socialism.

    He’s a complete twat isn’t he?

  60. 60
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  61. 61
    Ed 'fliperty' Balls says:

    let me see if i have got this right.
    You have discovered a way to end London’s unaffordable housing problem?

    I’ll take it.

  62. 62
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    You say it’s an idea for them, in jest, but they might go for it. Just because it’s been tried and it’s failed doesn’t mean they won’t. They really are that dim.

    Consider the last Labour government’s poisoned chalice 50% top rate tax. It caused tax revenue to drop, because people avoided it by emigrating. The rate come down to (a still eye-watering) 45%, and tax revenue rises.

    Ed Balls’s plan? Hike the rate back up to 50%.

    But we know that brings in less money and causes wealthy people to exit our economy. Labour know it. They tested it, they saw the results. But still they want, in their complete lunacy, to do it again.

  63. 63
    Ed Moribund says:

    So.. looking at the bits we filled in on the blank piece of paper that we now can’t mention .. all we have left to talk about is Syrian refugees and payday loans?

  64. 64
    Teather's Revenge says:

    I think you’ll find I’m well placed to write my memoirs.

  65. 65
    Mr Happy says:

    Whatever it is that that man in the photograph is supposed to have done then I am sure that he did it.

  66. 66
    Universal Hiss says:

    I’m rather enjoying today.

    How long before Hancock does a Margaret Moron?

    He’s obviously a sick man.

  67. 67
    The BBC says:

    “Eric Pickles in ministerial biscuit ban”

  68. 68
    Fish says:

    Ejacualted from the Lib Dems?

  69. 69
    The BBC says:

    Last year, Mr Pickles was forced to deny reports his department had spent an extra £10,000 a year on biscuits, blaming an “administrative error” for the big increase in hospitality spending

  70. 70
    Dr Marx says:

    Socialism is best attempted theoretically in the classroom
    Outside of laboratory conditions it can become quite deadly.

  71. 71
    Arthur says:

    Lembit and his Cheeky Girl.

  72. 72
    Iain Dale's Bitebum Publishing says:

    We’ll pass on your memoirs thanks.

    BTW, do you know Jo Swinson? We’d pay top dollar for her memoirs and some photos. Pass it on. There’s a good little poppett.

  73. 73
    Pete from Northampton says:

  74. 74
    JH40598430958-2340 says:

    Errr, I think you answered your own query there.

    Only a self-appointed-intellectual left winger could be that much of a twat.

    A dust mite could predict the unintended consequences of this action.

    Just how many times will Thomas Sowell be proved correct by Hollande alone?

  75. 75
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    We do have strong discipline in the lib-dems, why the other night paddy gave me a good whipping.

  76. 76
    The Guardian says:

    “Mr Biscuit in ministerial pickle ban”

  77. 77
    JH40598430958-2340 says:

    Results mean nothing to them. They don’t care about the results of their actions.

    All that matters to them is that they feel well of themselves as they take the action.

    That is how the likes of Hobsbawm can ignore the death of millions as long as he gets his precious.

  78. 78
    Jasmin "cock sucker" Beckett says:

    I doooo still love you Big Balls,

    But how can you be sure you will still be able to give me that well-paid job as Youth Commissioner?

  79. 79
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    I was referring to Nick Clegg and not, of course, myself. Although I do believe one should not knock it until one tries it.

  80. 80
    Blowing Donkey Whistles says:

    Anyone with a beard like that must be guilty of being a perv.

    What an arrogant tw@! How the funk did he think he’d be able to get away with this?

  81. 81
    Gary Bloke says:

    I notice that, in the “Recreations” line in his entry in Who’s Who (online version), Mike Hancock states: “People, living life to the full”. For “Education”, rather than list a school, he states: “Well”.

  82. 82
    P l e b says:

    Awwww…. cuddly, caring Dave’s getting all charitable on us. What a guy.

    “Britain always plays the right role in these desperate humanitarian crises”

    He means every word he says, you know. They aren’t just mindless, electioneering soundbites.

    Just think, he’d have been bombing those Syrians if wasn’t for a few meddlers.

  83. 83
    T S Elliot says:

    Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important.

    They don’t mean to do harm. But the harm does not interest them.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    How did Cyril Smith get away with far worse for decades?

    The establishment, all parts of it, and all shades of political spectrum, is as corrupt as hell. We live in a shi!thole of a country run by blackmailed and bribed psychopathic scum.

  85. 85
    Cyril Smith democratically elected child rapist says:

    I had David Steel as a leader when I was running amok. He didnt ask too many questions.

  86. 86
    Lke you said the bankers ARE scum says:

    Apparently the investigation into THAT Richmond Pedo Hotel involving MP’s Judges etc has now become a murder inquiry

  87. 87
  88. 88
    Lke you said the bankers ARE scum says:

    I should add a CHILD murder inquiry

  89. 89
    Eddy Tour says:

    You must be new here….

  90. 90
    Fly on the wall says:

    Earlier postings hereabouts would seem to indicate her name is Katya….

  91. 91
    Fly on the wall says:

    ?Corrupted By Ejaculation?

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