January 21st, 2014

Where’s Ed Balls?

The silent Shadow Chancellor is still keeping quiet despite some heavy briefing against him from colleagues at the weekend. One Labour MP told the Mail:

“Balls used to throw his weight around in Shadow Cabinet meetings and ignore Ed Miliband when he spoke. Now Balls is totally out of sorts. He doesn’t say much at Shadow Cabinet meetings and when he does, he is the one who is ignored. He has lost his mojo.”

Silence yesterday as well. So where was he? Hidden away at a very safe distance up in Scotland bravely knocking on doors with his old boss Gordon Brown, it turns out:

Anyone would think he was cursed…


  1. 1
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    The Silence of the Crabs.


    • 5
      Micheal Saxon says:

      just listened to David Blunkett on Radio 4

      he made me want to vomit in my nespresso


    • 61
      Wanted. Dictator to run Bradford says:

      After years of observation I have come to the conclusion that for all residents a secular dictator makes the best leader of a predominately muslem country.

      Saddam, Gadfly and Assad kept the buggers under control and stopped them going around slaughtering Christians as is now the case since the West decided to liberate democratise them.


      • 67
        moderate me would you? says:

        Blame the yanks. It’s been all downhill since Suez.

        They had to show UK and France who was boss and now look at the fucking place.


        • 92
          Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Immigrants, Criminals & other Wasters. says:

          This is correct, Mozzies are still in the Stone Age and culturally incapable of understanding personal responsibility. this is why so many are raping and abusing children.


        • 106
          Elvis says:



        • 131
          Anthony Eden's Tailor says:

          Seems any comment that has a less than glowing view of all things American gets moderated! All I said was the Americans ensured the British Empire was got out of the way as quickly as possible and that supporting the formation of national democracies in the Empire was part of that strategy.


        • 137
          NE Frontiersman says:

          Interestingly, within a short time Eisenhower was regarding Suez as his biggest mistake.


      • 69

        The Law of Unintended Consequences strikes again.

        Who would have thunk it?


      • 112
        Blowing Donkey Whistles says:

        Add Tito to that list.


        • 142

          In a different category, IMO.

          Tito had a remarkable character not present in the others. His admitted brutality was a consequence of the WW2 positions but his acceptable qualities survived him for a decade.

          It was the citizens who split it up rather than an outside power.

          Very complex subject area and too little space here to be able to do the subject justice.


    • 87
      Yvette says:

      I have told the fat feckless lump of lard to STFU and not jeopardise Len’s my plans for leadership.


    • 129
      Major Disaster says:

      Balls has been busy asking for a meeting with Alex Salmond to discuss currency union….

      Despite having ruled it out….last year!

      Natuarally the cybernats are over the moon about this…


  2. 2
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    He’s sorting out the Dims. problems. That must be the answer.


  3. 3
    Wait - what! says:

    Gordon looks like he tried to fart but followed through instead.


  4. 4
    moderate me would you? says:

    Fucking wankers blocking the pavement. That poor lady on her mobility scooter can’t get to the bookies.


  5. 11
    Warning sickness says:

    Rachel Foghorn is always heard.


  6. 12
    Anonymous says:

    Oh for those Brown-Balls-Mandleson years.


    • 38
      Peter Grimes says:

      When ZaNuLaB could lie and spread propaganda with impunity, do you mean?

      Ed Bollox is notably quiet this morning when the IMF has just upgraded their forecast for the UK economy. And remember, not only was there no triple dip, there wasn’t even a double dip.

      And still the Tories don’t stick it to the MilibandBollox pair of liars, letting them get away with their ‘cost of living crisis’, ‘crisis’ FFS, gleefully echoed to its enormous audience every two minutes by Al JaBeeBa!


  7. 13
    Privatise the BBC says:

    …. thinks…… “mustn’t say bigot, mustn’t say bigot”


  8. 14
    ovalballs says:

    Any sign of bigoted old women?


  9. 15
    Jess The Dog says:

    Shudder. The Four Horsepersons of the Apocalypse descend on Cowdenbeath. Or maybe it’s the Party looking for Winter Relief contributions, or a donation towards a statue of the Dear Leader.


  10. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Brown/Balls can swing it.


  11. 18
    C.O.Jones says:

    Is that Alexander on the right, standing next to his sparring partner?


  12. 20
    The Critic says:

    Early closing day is it?

    Take out the Labour stooges and the wheelchair bound person and there is only one other person on the street. Gordon is really helping the local economy isn’t he?

    PS The two Eds visited my city recently and promised to get the streetlighting sorted out. Still not working -when will you be fixing them chaps?


  13. 21
    Postal Vote says:

    Balls can not execute Labour’s new banking plan to get more banks since Balls used to be in charge of UK banking regulation in the same government hypocrite Miliband was part of. That government merged the banks just as it increased taxes on energy. Not just did Labour government declare competition policy void in banking, lax capital regulation caused many of the banks to fail, contributing hugely to concentration and less competion.

    Balls scraped through the last election with a win of aroun 950 votes in a constituency with 10,000 (!) postal votes. Without postal votes Balls would most likely not be an MP right now.

    Game over for Balls.


    • 136
      Fly on the wall says:

      Nope. He learned his lesson last time and the postbag will be XXXL the next time round. He is mightily relieved that dimcvnt Cameroon did not abolish postal voting altogether, the more so after having been stabbed in the back by Clegg the Clogg over boundary reforms.


      • 139
        NE Frontiersman says:

        High St Ward, Walthamstow, 2010: turnout, 125%.
        And that’s not even considering the postal votes.
        1000 extra votes awarded to each Labour candidate at the count itself.


  14. 24
    The coppers who got short straws. says:

    Is that Gordon’s armed protection squad in the background?


  15. 27

    He opened his mouth often but nothing sensible ever came outSchrödinger’s cat, 2014


  16. 28
    M102 says:

    Just make sure you turn the microphone off when you leave Gordon.


  17. 29
    High Street Goons says:

    Why did that group of people gang up on the cripple lady?


  18. 30
    C.O.Jones says:

    Which country is that in, you can park on the high street?


    • 35
      moderate me would you? says:

      I don’t think you can any more. They’re stopped at the traffic lights for the zebra crossing.


  19. 31
    moderate me would you? says:

    Brown must have another blank week in his diary. No poverty conferences in Acapulco to give a speech at this week. Again. Ho-hum. Might as well see if my constituency is still as big a shithole as it ever was.


  20. 32
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Don’t you just love the smell of subsidised food in the morning

    I do !


    • 55
      House of Common's Breakfast Bar says:

      Ok, so that is the full English with extra toast, coffee, orange juice, a bowl of Frosties and an Apple.

      That will be £1.25 please David, and £30.00 from the taxpayer.

      Cash or credit ?


  21. 33
    Observer says:

    A quick glance at the photo might lead some to think that Balls is representing UKIP with maroon tie and yellow badge. I remember a Newsnight debate last year prior to a south coast election when the lib dem candidate tried the same trick. I wonder why?


    • 56
      bergen says:

      Some parties had different regional colours. I remember a TV report of a Welsh by-election years ago and the Liberal wore a red rosette (perhaps it was blue) and the Labour , yellow and green. The reporter had to explain to the baffled studio.


  22. 37
    Outkast says:

    Poor bloke, reduced to campaigning with the loon Brown in Jockland.


  23. 39
  24. 41
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Yesterday……… all my troubles seemed so…………………..


  25. 42
    Umbrella_Spike says:

    There’s less Duffies in Scotland – but a whole lorra Rab C’s.


  26. 45
    UKIP or bust says:

    Gordon Brown to the people of Scotland.

    Don’t ask what labour can do for you, but, what can you do for labour.


  27. 47
    Silent Majority says:

    It’s amazing he’s still in parliament yet alone the Shadow Cabinet. Here’s someone with a CV of failure that culminated in this bully being caught house-flipping, bank-subsidising and leaving office with a giant deficit.

    Just as doctors can be struck off and company directors can be barred, Ed Balls should be blocked from any position of responsibility.


  28. 50
    Shylock says:

    I am sure that the ample Lord Rennard can spare a few more pounds of flesh.


    • 60
      Lord Rennard says:

      I was a fit, athletic and beautiful young man until this scandal took hold of me and turned my health to shit.


  29. 51
    The British media are cunts says:

    Harpic’s dickless husband was on Radio 5 this morning spouting more shite about Labour’s failures and faking of police crime records. Needless to say he got a total free pass from Radio 5.


  30. 53
    Peter Grimes says:

    We should be grateful for small mercies really. Whenever Ed Bollox opens his fat gob there pours forth nought but balls.


  31. 54

    Bridget Harris may sue Rennard.

    Rennard may sue the entire world.

    Yet he thinks he is a victim, to ill to come to work. Stressed. Undervalued. Pleading for sympathy. Poor little dear.

    Explains it all in 2,600 short words.

    Lobotomised Democrats for you.


    • 59
      Casual Observer 5 says:

      Rennards PR image doesn’t help, and most of that image is of his own creation.

      If he could drop the porcine uncle Monty look, which does resonate with the Revd Flowers a bit, then perhaps people may be less inclined to believe the allegations uncritically and assume that he is: ‘a dirty ol’ bastard who needs to be taken down a peg or two’

      Nick Clegg as your principal line of defense is also not helping.


      • 63

        But he’s (Rennard, that is) the modern product of entitlement (in more than one sense!)

        He wants his cake and eat it, and he wants another bit left over.

        He wants to be victim and aggressor all at once. Superman and Olive Oyl rolled into one. Pathetic.

        Your Flowers comparison is excellent.


        • 86
          Casual Observer 5 says:

          Agree on many levels, the only nagging doubt with respect the Rennard situation is that this could be a simple political plot from within.

          He has been put in a catch-22 which is in itself somewhat problematic as a precedent.

          So – we believe women who have not the confidence to just file a formal complaint, and by not admitting liability to a serious criminal offense (apologizing / indecent assault) Rennard is being forced out for not admitting liability. K would be proud.

          I have no doubt that Rennard is a scoundrel and may have crossed the line, but the manner in which this is being played out is a good example of all that is wrong in modern British public life and politics.

          Let the women file formal complaint and keep that out of the media until a trial takes place if their claims are genuine.

          Clegg should be free to pick and choose who remains in the party, but should not be unduly pressured by what appears to be a feminist wing with its own agenda that may even not be in line with Lib Dem party principals.

          Stepping back further, with the Lib Dems failing in the polls this could just be a shoddy trick to capture back female votes after reinventing the Lib Dem party as that which stands up for ‘female rights’ and moral virtue.

          The weekly sex parties that go on in many Lib Dem constituencies, organized and attended by the parties local government members – of both sexes – perhaps sinks this.

          The only justification for pursuing Rennard is to put pressure on Hancock, where there does appear to have been some odd collusion between MP, Police, Council and likely Lodge, to protect what is claimed to be a dangerous pervert.

          The real meat of the Hancock situation though is with the fraud that he appears to have been involved with, and his piss poor representation for the people of Portsmouth South who recently had their Naval contracts lost to Clyde in a separate cynical political move.

          Or perhaps that move happened with little opposition in return for Hancock not being properly investigated over the allegations raised by his constituent ?


    • 74
      Frank says:

      To be frank. I think the pendulum has swung too far the other way now and he is actually being bullied by the MSM for what are in the grand scheme of things very small misdemeanours.

      Those LibDem women who are complaining must have been raised by nuns in a convent or studied at the Harriet Harman school of feminist faux offence taking.


      • 84

        Understand your point entirely having myself laid hands *coughs* upon at least one woman in my lifetime *coughs* with no complaints ever. *cough cured*

        The point is, not only did he chose politics himself to throw his weight about in, he chose the Liberal Democrats! FFS! What on earth is he going to find there which is either Liberal or Democratic?

        Talk about authors, own and misfortune.


        • 103
          Frank says:

          Yes I think an attack on the party is more than justified, especially since they are self appointed Guardians of the feminist cause.


  32. 57
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls


  33. 62
    Ah! Monika says:

    Should have kept this for the caption contest.


  34. 64
    What is he wittering on about now? says:


    • 78
      Ed (Too Fat must Fast for Flat Waistline) Balls says:

      It’s called supply and demand Chucky Eggy and as in all feedback systems there will be a balancing compensation, it happens all the time!!


    • 99
      Bill Quango MP/3 says:

      Remind us again who introduced the smoking ban, booze duty rises. And business rates increases that were up 600% since 1997?


    • 100
      Ah! Monika says:

      Pubs closing, bars proliferating. The young prefer to pay more than their parents. Simps Chuckie.


  35. 65
    Ed (Too Fat must Fast for Flat Waistline) Balls says:

    The IMF predictions are coming into too far and too fast!!


  36. 65
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    The silence of Ed Balls is actually quite refreshing.

    His tepid attacks against the UK economy, and his profoundly slimy words of un-wisdom really do not create a nice atmosphere on the airwaves.

    One can only assume that with his silence he is plotting mischief in the background, and one actually hopes that Ed Miliband has prepared the blade for the shechita in such a situation. In fact Labour really should consider just getting the bris over and done with as far as Mr. Balls is concerned.

    On another note, what are the Fabian Society making of Ed now ?

    Even they, in their arrogant mong way of thinking must be thinking in similar terms to how Miliband must be.

    The biggest favor Nigel Farage perhaps has done for the LibLabCon leaders is that he has demonstrated again that being a little authoritarian is a good trait to have in a leader.

    Balls must go.


    • 76
      moderate me would you? says:

      No. Balls must stay.

      Balls is absolute vote kryptonite. He completely repels voters.

      If you don’t want Labour in power then Balls is exactly the kind of man you want stammering and gob-shiteing his way through an election.


      • 97
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        I think Miliband can lose the election on his own without the distraction of Balls.

        At least the loss would be more dignified.

        I do not believe Labour are capable of winning an honest majority at the next election despite the media hype, and protestations of Labour activists.

        At best they will be able to enter coalition.

        The benefit of getting rid of Balls is that Miliband and the other idiots might be able to start providing a more coherent opposition which would help get valid issues back into the national debate.

        Ed Balls literally waving his hands, and saying that the UK economy is shit at every opportunity does not help that, and allows the Tories to dodge questions.

        If Miliband brings his other brain cell back online, once he has dealt with Balls and patched up the split in Labour a bit, he might want to just take the issue of continued EU membership and its impact on Britain straight back to Cameron.

        Ed’s Union friends would welcome this as they must realize by now that in a Federal Europe they are toast.

        It would also help reassure Labour voters who will likely vote UKIP in protest that they can be safe to return to the party at a later date. Restoring trust and credibility with the electorate is the biggest problem facing Labour now and that will not be fixed by 2015 – in part thanks to the dominance of Ed Balls over the past couple of years.

        Am not a Labour supporter – but do believe that for democracy to function properly there needs to be a credible and responsible opposition to the incumbents in power.


    • 77
      unnatural weather says:

      you want to castrate labour ?


    • 91

      No Balls mustn’t go!

      He is essential!

      A major component in the Balls and Chain which will drag Labour down. ;-)


      • 101
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        Labour are down.

        The images of lefty hooligans assaulting Farage will have cost them more votes as decent minded Labour supporters will not be wanting to be associated with that.

        As UKIP put out more left libertarian language and views, their choice of who to turn to is being confirmed.

        Miliband must realize by now that he needs to reconfigure the party away from the European model of insane loony Marxism and political extremism, and get it back to core British values.

        I do suspect that his speeches which have in effect been acts of economic vandalism, may have been influenced by Ed Balls in order to weaken the image of Ed Miliband. Miliband may be a die hard Marxist, but he is not completely insane, and must realize that Hollande’s extreme socialism is likely to terminate the EU and will crash France and the socialist movement across the Eurozone into the ground.

        Miliband might be choosing to put party before politics and ideology. If so, that is a positive for him as a leader, but that does not mean he is a suitable leader for the country.


  37. 70
    McDoomed says:

    The Labour Candidate, Alex Rowley, was of course the Brownite General Secretary of the Scottish Labour Party sacked by Blair.


    Old debts being partially repaid in kind by Jonah Brown and Ed Bollox crapping on about free school meals? Think he should have waived them>


  38. 72
    Gordo McMong says:

    Today I’ll mostly be in Scotchland looking for Ed’s mojo, it was last seen in Cowdenbeath but I believe a Tory conspiracy involving the Yvette boy Cooper type person has taken it and hidden it somewhere in Morley or possibly Outwood. I know this as my poo told me this morning.


  39. 79
    Lord Rennard says:

    Spank his bottom, then spank mine!


  40. 82
    The Save Ed Balls Campaign says:

    Ed Balls has taken a battering. He said there would be a triple dip recession but the stats said there wasn’t even a double-dip.

    He’s been wrong on everything and the final straw was Reverend Flowers and the revelations that he was Labour’s banking adviser.

    His career is flatlining and needs to be nurtured back to. Labour needs as many plonkers as possible and Balls is of the same calibre as Ed Millyband.


    • 110
      The Critic says:

      The plonker supply is abundant. The fact that one of the prime plonkers can behave so ineptly that even Labour think he is inept,is staggering. They set the bar really low as ‘failure’ is not a word they use -mainly because they redefine it and set ever lower thresholds for it.

      Fortunately, those who judge Balls in the party are probably just as useless. Rejoice, the gift which is the Labour party will continue to churn out the mediocre who only make it as a result of patronage. Balls was sponsored By Gordon and meets the exacting standards set for him. His missus was sponsored by Harriet Harperson. Ditto.

      He has no career – without Gordon he would never have got near a ministerial job. It is flatlining now because he has no powerful mates to fix the next job for him. He won’t get anywhere on merit -he has none.


      • 113
        Jack Ketch says:

        So its EU Commissioner, Head of the BBC or a University Post, then?


        • 128
          Niall Eastick-Tendencies says:

          Lazards employ lizards.


          • (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

            The ineptitude and failure bars of the Labour Party can be found alongside the moral compassof the Lib Dems and the integrity of the “so called” Tories.
            Look under any rock or snakes belly.


      • 133
        McDoomed says:

        He only got into Cabinet because Brown split Education and Skills and created a Ministerial post for him: Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families.

        That promptly vanished because it was rolled back into Education so Balls was the first, last and only holder of that post, in which he had no interested other than as a platform for his own career apart from his miserable and demeaning pilot fish role to Gordon Brown.

        It showed long before the Shoesmith fiasco. A rather keen Civil Serpent was tasked with explaining the details of one of Balls “initiatives” to a bunch of mainly Left-Leaning Journos.

        It was shite: badly thought out unworkable headline grabber that was never going to do anything other than sink without trace.

        A number of wholly sensible and it must be said non-bashing questions were asked about how it was to work but it was no good. All the poor CS could say as nonsense after nonsense was laid bare was:

        “It is the wish of Ministers……..”

        Eventually somebody said “Look: this simply cannot be made to work. It is absolute nonsense. Surely Balls must have been briefed on the hideous problems it will cause?”

        “It is the wish of Ministers….”


  41. 85
    Ah! Monika says:

    Football ‘can tackle male obesity’

    BBC sexist again.


  42. 88
    Chris Huhne says:

    I’m not gay you know.


  43. 89
    The Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown says:

    Please send us money!

    PS – It will be treated as a charitable donation.


  44. 104
    Anonymous says:

    GB looks like he’d rather be somewhere else, no ?


  45. 111
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Awww, how sweet! Gorgon and Dedward meeting the bigoted women of Cowdenbeath!


  46. 115
    Helpful says:

    Interesting! The tweet alludes to political campaigning by The Office of Gordon & Sarah Brown Ltd.

    Its declared purpose was to maintain his position in public life. Further monies expended on political purposes are not tax deductible by a limited company.

    It maybe that someone has just dropped GB in the brown stuff!


  47. 120
    Adam says:

    Has the Cowdenbeath branch of B&Q sold out of reinforced steel doors as people barricade themselves into their homes fearing a knock on the door from Ed and Gordon?


  48. 122
    EyeSee says:

    Caption: ‘Gordon Brown, explaining to his constituents who he is’.


  49. 127
    Niall Eastick-Tendencies says:

    Is that the triple drip procession ?????


  50. 143
    Still on hols down under says:

    G’day, here on hols still, arf arf. Apparently the previously named fairy penguins have had to be renamed little penguins due to Aussie gayers outrage. Will be in Port Fairy soon which somehow has escaped so far. Will give an account thereafter.


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