January 21st, 2014

The ‘Most Hated Man on Fleet Street’

The news that Chris ‘rat boy’ Evans has been promoted to acting editor of the weekly Telegraph has gone down like a cup of cold sick over at Buckingham Palace Road. “Everyone hates Chris Evans,” says one hack. Others complain of his unrivalled ability to work out what people’s weaknesses are and to ruthlessly exploit them. “The most hated man on Fleet Street” comes up too,“horrifically rude”. He’s known to be “the biggest bastard at the Telegraph.” Which is impressive, given the competition.


79 Comments

  1. 1
  2. 2
    The real Chris Evans says:

    At least he isn’t a ginger.

    Like

  3. 3
    Channel 4 says:

    We should snap him up.

    Like

  4. 5
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Maybe they decided they need a bastard to sort out the newsroom? Oh. Bad times ahead at the Telegraph, I fear!

    Like

  5. 6
    Billie Piper says:

    That is NOT Chris Evans.

    Like

  6. 8
    Shooty* says:

    Struggling to care less on Telegraph related stories, to be honest. These reporters are nobodies. Who cares?

    Like

    • 34
      Copying and pasting from Twitter is NOT journalism (nor is it worth reading) says:

      I think you’re being over-generous to describe the Telegraph’s teenagers as ‘journalists’.

      Like

  7. 11
    moderate me would you? says:

    I keep getting an ad telling me that if I eat a blob of wallpaper paste I’ll never need to go on a diet.

    Is it just me?

    Like

    • 17
      Chris Bryant says:

      It may look like wallpaper paste, but it ain’t

      Like

      • 66
        Psyche the Dog says:

        Now then Chris we will not have any of that filth on here, on this good wholesome blog

        Like

        • 79
          Rag & pulp news watch (internet adjunct) says:

          Certainly not, this blog is intended to be read by the entire dysfunctional family (not to mention assorted malcontents and nasties).

          Like

    • 20
      Shouty* says:

      I keep seeing adverts telling me not to start wildfires. In this rain?
      Oh and pictures of the Clintons in Tottenham.

      Like

    • 42
      When will Pickles start work? says:

      Yes, Eric.

      Like

    • 74
      broderick crawford says:

      No they are right .

      if you eat a blob of filler a day you won t need to go on a diet , your guts will get blocked ,you will never feel like eating again , you will losea lot of weight and then die of malnutrtion /starvation .

      Problem solved .

      Like

  8. 12
    Another day another scam says:

    A series of raids have been carried out in a bid to crack down on a scam where immigrants are brought to the UK as ministers of religion and then vanish.

    Sixteen addresses across the country were targeted in early morning swoops today, as part of an ongoing investigation into the Khalsa Missionary Society in Manchester.

    It is claimed that immigrants are brought from India to live in the UK as religious workers but then disappear.

    Raids were carried out in Slough, Southall, Southampton, Luton, Hounslow, Birmingham and Leicester.

    Like

    • 44
      Londoner says:

      Its been going on for years.

      Incidentally, does anyone remember when Imams were all going to be made to speak and preach in English? The Home office have gone very quiet on that one.

      Like

    • 59
      General Pinochet says:

      Scammy, why doesn’t that surprise me. They would not have got away with it back in Chile…..in the good old days. They would see the light of day once………then disappear like good missionaries…..& anyone else that got on my tits!

      Like

  9. 13
    Channel 5 says:

    We’ll have him on Big Brother. Being sucked off by Janet Street Porter one day and Anne Widdecombe the next. Triangle.

    Like

  10. 15
    Polly Toynbee says:

    I do hope the Telegraph pay all their taxes that are due.

    Like

  11. 19
    Damien McBride's Catholic Faith says:

    Makes a change from having editors stuck up Gordon Brown’s anus

    Like

  12. 22
    The day will come ... one day ... says:

    Tony Blair: bar worker attempts citizen’s arrest on former PM at trendy Tramshed restaurant

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/labour/10585280/Tony-Blair-bar-worker-attempts-citizens-arrest-on-former-PM-at-trendy-Tramshed-restaurant.html

    Like

    • 28
      Persona non grata says:

      Could easily have assassinated the bastard, another opportunity lost, sigh.

      Like

    • 38
      moderate me would you? says:

      Rubbish citizens arrest. Blair managed to talk him out of it.

      That’s what I’d like to see though. The likes of Blair not even being able to be served at a dr*i*ve-through McDonalds without the lady rushing out to put him under arrest. Hound the fuckers off our streets. Let them live in their gilded cages.

      Like

      • 41
        Mitch says:

        He said he bolted when Blair’s security turned up. Fair do’s to the guy – at least he tried! Can’t fault him for being nervous.

        Like

        • 47
          Lord Stansted says:

          +1

          Like

        • 48
          Dontvoteforanyofthem says:

          If he was serious, he should have called 50 or so mates to come into the bar to back him up, then phoned the police to report a riot at the bar, then when they all turn up, attempt the arrest and insist on the police upholding their duty under their oath to uphold the law and arrest Blair. Charge the police with dereliction of duty if they refuse.

          Like

          • Lord Stansted says:

            Good idea, but I rather think it might be tricky to carry out – pity, though.

            Like

          • Plod Insider says:

            Dereliction of duty is what gets us promotion. Just ask Nigel who will explain it to you, especially if you have just been bashed on the bonce by some rioting loony.

            Like

        • 77
          (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

          Try a Citizens Arrest anywhere else in the world and you’ll be sued for assault!

          Like

  13. 23
    Persona non grata says:

    See that fat c*nt on Sky now talking about those photo’s from Syria. When challenged by Bolton, he went bright red and the fella in the studio had to step in and rescue him.

    More propaganda on behalf of warmongerers Camoron and Vague.

    Like

    • 50
      BBC News Editor says:

      We must bomb Syria back to the stone age.

      Like

      • 60
        Non taxable pikey says:

        Too late, Assad has done it himself with a bit of help from Putin’s non-stop Antanov delivery service. Something he has yet to pay for.

        Like

    • 53
      The British Public says:

      Syria is none of our business

      Like

      • 57
        WMD.......yawn says:

        Glad to see few are falling for this warmongering crap.

        Like

        • 69
          A thin man photographed behind a bit of fence in Bosnia says:

          If only we had the internet earlier. Think how many times the British public would have told the conniving, lying, self serving, warmongering british establishment to f-off.

          Like

  14. 25
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Deep down, he is crying out to be loved.

    Like

  15. 29
    Shinedown_Fan says:

    Shinedown. Bully. Lyrics.

    Like

  16. 30
    Francois Hollande says:

    Let me show you my helmet!

    Like

  17. 31
    Pete from Northampton says:

    Anyone got a job selling mops?

    I’m a really good mop salesman.

    Like

  18. 32
    An explanation would have helped says:

    Banged out? WTF is that?

    Like

    • 35
      moderate me would you? says:

      I’m guessing they banged their desks to make a racket as a show of support. It’s probably some public school tradition from way back.

      Like

      • 39
        John Smith says:

        Actually, I think it came up from the print room, banging their tools (steady tiger!) on the desks.

        Like

    • 49
      cep says:

      In my locale, ‘banged out’ means; ejaculated.

      Like

    • 54
      The English Language says:

      It’s evidence of a journalist with insufficient owers of description holding down a job he doesn’t deserve.

      Like

  19. 33
    Mr Hαrry Cοles says:

    You should hear what they say in the office about you Pαul.

    Like

  20. 36
  21. 37
    Frenzy says:

    Gallagher will be back at Mail in minutes. What’s left of the Tele’s halfway decent news reporters following swiftly behind.

    Like

    • 46
      Farewell office boy says:

      They certainly seem to have sacked the bloke who can spell, if the online version is to be believed.

      Like

  22. 43
    Exocet says:

    Like

  23. 55
    Anonymous says:

    when he was a trainee reporter in the west country he had the sh1t kicked out of him on a doorstep

    Like

  24. 56
    moderate me would you? says:

    Looks a bit like Malcolm Tucker.

    Like

  25. 58
    Right man for the job then says:

    So no one likes him and they all think he’s a complete bastard.

    Sound like the ideal person to run a tight ship and get the paper profitable again.

    Like

  26. 67
    Barklies dogger bank says:

    Do those two odd Channel exiles still own this comic? Or did they sell it to Murdo when nobody was looking?

    Like

  27. 71
    Peter Jackson says:

    I knew him in 1992 when we both studied in Preston for our journalism diplomas and I have to say he was a thoroughly nice chap then

    Like


Media Reader

Tory MP Tells Leftie Jon Snow to Retire | Guardian
Guido Whips Politicians Into Shape | Guardian
Mrs Danczuk Beats Mensch to Win Guido | Telegaph
PM Congratulates Blogger Who Destroyed Minister | Mail
Revealed: Guido Fawkes Anniversary Dinner Guestlist | Peter Oborne
Give Journalists Public Interest Defence in Law | Guardian
Cameron Mustn’t Scupper TV Debates | Steve Hewlett
Double Standards of Police Leaks to Guardian | Mail
Legalise Pot | NY Times
How Police Hack Phones and Email | Times
Guardian Journalists Paid Above Market Worth | Tom Utley


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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