January 16th, 2014

5 Top Tips for UKIP

Amusing video from The Telegraph’s Tim Stanley.


  1. 1

    I am not going to be first.

  2. 2
  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Vote Lib Lab Con, inshalla

  4. 4
    Richard says:

    Well …could almost have been amusing had it been fair.

  5. 5
    Maggie the dog says:

    I think we all should stay out of Scotland let it go it alone and laugh as it desend’s into a third world piss pot

  6. 6
    Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

    Its not already?

  7. 7
    vile labour ruined my wife says:

    oh look another incredibly posh journalist, probably public school and Oxbridge, preaching to the rest of us.

  8. 8
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Immigrants, Criminals & other Wasters. says:

    I thought it already was a 3rd world piss pot going by the amount of charity welfare claimants?

  9. 9
    vile labour ruined my wife says:

    also this shows how worried the main stream parties and their supporters in the mains stream media really are about UKIP.

    be classic if they cost Dave the election.

  10. 10
    Maggie the dog says:

    Why not beats listerning to you

  11. 11
    Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

    Any way Tim Stanley is a jumped up socialist t**ser
    and about as amusing as a snake bite.

  12. 12
    Tin foil top hat says:

    Five top tips for the LibLabCon
    1) keeping working towards making our children bow before all*h
    2) keep troughing
    3) keep giving reach arounds to Goldman Sach et al
    4) keep passing our sovreignty to eurabia (see also point 1)
    5) above all- keeping treating us like serfs.

  13. 13
    Adobe Flash Player required to view this content says:

    Could have been amusing if I could watch it.

  14. 14
    Maggie the dog says:


  15. 15
    David Cameron says:

    Alloa snackbar

  16. 16
    Ed Miliband says:

    When I become PM in a coalition I will have Clegg as DPM and Ed as Chancellor.We will stay in the EU and I shall raise taxes and state intervention. If I don’t freeze it or cap it I will ban it. You know it makes sense.

  17. 17
    Wait - what! says:

    The Tories really are worried.

  18. 18
    civil engineering plant says:


  19. 19
    Wait - what! says:

    * claps *

  20. 20
    C.O.Jones says:

    You have not missed anything. Some idiot IMO, trying to diss UKIP in a very amateurish way.

  21. 21
    Airey Belvoir says:

    At least Godfrey Bloom has a sense of humour and is his own man, unlike the priggish, humourless political robots and censorious journos who infest our public space.

  22. 22
    Top Tip says:

    Fuck the metrosexual elite and what they think because they would never vote UKIP anyway.

  23. 23
    rick says:

    I think the reverse is true: Keep doing those five things – it’s what has made UKIP popular with the public, who have become tired of mincing politicos.

  24. 24
    walking into darkness says:

    The Telegraph, 50% at least of readers must be UKIP, seems infiltrated by Guardian revolutionaries. Why?

    Can’t wait for by-election in Manchester, Miliband will be toast if they lose to UKIP, interesting that bookies have stopped taking bets on a UKIP win

  25. 25
    keith says:

    Tim Stanley the man who cant make up his mind if he should stand as a labour candidate again or for the Tories, cant make up his mind if he is a good Baptist boy or catholic or should he go back to the church of England, someone to be listened to for decisive opinion

  26. 26
    altruism in industry says:

    Quietly, with little notice, another days is removed from the list of days until the British public votes out the traitorous scum and replaces them with a government of patriots.

  27. 27
    Owne Stnaley says:

    Has anyone ever seen Tim Stanley and Owen Jones in the same place at the same time?

  28. 28
    in a pub in york says:

    Alan, you at t’bar?

  29. 29
    C.O.Jones says:

    UKIP is like a 60″ telly, tory voters can afford one so they buy in, pretty soon the labour voters will want one too.

  30. 30
    Vote UKIP destroy Cameron get my party back says:

    If my parents could put up with 6 years of bombing by Hitler I can sure as shit put up with 5 years of Labour to eventually win the political war and rid the Tory party of Cameron and his Europhile cuckoos in the nest.

  31. 31
    harsh but fair says:

    It was shiite, just another metro-sexual posho left-leaning twat out of touch with reality

  32. 32

    I did not like to say it but I got the message No hotlinking please.

    Hence my initial comment.

  33. 33
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    Difficult, one would obviously be hidden by the other.

  34. 34
    Ah! Monika says:

    LATEST:F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone to be tried on bribery charges, German court rules.

    No surprise for Blair then.

  35. 35

    Kate Moss.

    Happy Birthday.

    I would.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Such a pretty boy who will work wonders for DT circulation figures.

  37. 37
    Paxman's scruffy beard says:

    1) Cameron is happily continuing Brown’s £2 billion p.a. pension raid
    2) Cameron’s £175 Billion QE is almost the same as Brown’s £200 Billion QE
    3) Cameron has happily continued Labour’s immigration control
    4) Cameron has done nothing about the BBC, in the same way that Labour didn’t
    5) Cameron and Miliband both want the UK to stay in the EU
    6) Cameron has raised taxes just as Labour did

    … any others?

    Vote UKIP or we’ll get more of the same, whoever gets in.

  38. 38
    Wait - what says:

    Good point though unfortunately, the financial cost will be the same too.

  39. 39
    civil engineering plant says:

    I do try not to lower the tone (honest), but ‘hotlinking) sounds like a vile sexual act between two G*rmans (that love each other very much).

  40. 40
    Allan, you at t'bar says:

    Two ‘l’s, please.

  41. 41
    Ah! Monika says:

    German weekly news magazine Focus reported that ‘Schumacher could be in a coma forever’ after speaking with experts on his condition. Mail.

    Not the best grammar methinks.

  42. 42
    I Ron Nick (no?) says:

    Let’s shout it out: Welfare Imprisons the Poor – but IDS Makes You Free.

  43. 43
    Ah! Monika says:

    Pose topless? Sun

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    He could call Blair as a character witness.Bit of a fag I know but he might agree.

  45. 45
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant

    In five years, Ed and I could decimate your savings, plunder your pensions (again) and vaporise your wealth. We call it Socialist scorched earth.

  46. 46
    Gay men like skinny women not straight men.get it right girls says:

    Kate Moss fell out of fashion when she started to look like a women instead of a skinny boy.

  47. 47
    tn02 says:

    All you need to know about this fuckwit who insists on calling himslef Dr Tim Stanley…

    IQ tests don’t test your intelligence. They test your patience


    Tim Stanley: “When I finally tried one, I came out with a score that puts me in the category of the educationally subnormal.”

    Top comment:

    “If you’re looking for someone to express surprise at that Tim, I fear you may have a long wait … “

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    Oh Timothy what will your mother say?

  49. 49
    Another top comment about Stanley says:

    “So, it turns out that I’m stupid. All those A-levels were for nought: my
    entire career at Cambridge was the result of a clerical error. Because,
    according to the IQ tests, I have the intelligence of a goldfish with
    learning difficulties. I’d probably get lost trying to find my way
    around the glass bowl.”

    In fairness, Tim, the IQ results are strongly supported by your early political positions:

    “Stanley joined the British Labour Party at the age of 15. He was Chair of Cambridge University Labour Club in 2003-4, and stood as the Labour candidate for his home constituency of Sevenoaks at the 2005 general election, where he came third.”

    Just saying….

  50. 50
    SAGA says:

    ‘In a coma forever’ that must put him in line for a peerage then.

  51. 51
    And another says:

    They’re not really intelligence questions they’re catch out questions for a DJ show. IQ questions give so much information from which the subject has to quickly and accurately work out other information not given. They usual consist of sequences of associations between words, numbers, symbols or patterns.

    IQ is very important ( in the real word). In the Mickey mouse pretend utopia of the liberals it is very threatening. It creates a hierarchy not coincidental with the liberals hierarchy of elite, minority and victim. It also impinges upon the ability to justify the construction / de-construction of liberal narratives which take the place of truth in their odd little world.

    That’s why they pretend IQ doesn’t exist.

  52. 52
    UKIP or bust says:

    Ah, (at the end of the video clip) those violent and angry socialists chanting scum, scum, scum, in Scotland. Reminds me of those violent and angry national socialists in Germany in the 1930s shouting their words of hate.

    S’funny how you never see UKIP supporters acting the same way as violent and angry hate filled socialists.

  53. 53
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Adobe Flash is sooo New Labour…

    Can someone ask the mongs at T’Graph et al. to get into the 21st Century and start supporting HTML5 video tag ?

  54. 54
    Mincing Politico says:

    Ooow, get her!

  55. 55
    Lord Greville Janner says:

    Nah!…to my knowledge he’s never fiddled with kiddies.

  56. 56
    UKIP or bust says:

    Oh Timothy what will mummy say?

    That’s more like it.

  57. 57
    Vote UKIP destroy Cameron get my party back says:

    In terms of sacrifice bugger all compared to what my parents and millions of other Brits put up with then.

  58. 58
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    Excellent reason to ignore Stanley and support UKIP, as though another reason were needed! Go Nige!

  59. 59
    civil engineering plant says:

    Seconded. One of Croydon’s classier exports.

  60. 60
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    Dead cert!

  61. 61
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Socialism is an unbalanced state of mind.

  62. 62
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    The Tories can’t win in 2015 as
    1. No boundary changes
    2. Corruption within the Postal voting system not resolved
    3. UKIP trending at ~ 15% in the polls; they cost the Tories 20 seats in 2010 with 3% of the vote.
    4. Pilgrims still in position actively campaigning against the Government of the day using taxpayers money
    5. Union education fund is still in place
    6. No TU reform allowing Crow and his mob hold us to ransom
    7. Tory constituency parties are disintegrating in protest at Cameron’s liberal policies
    8. The Tories will lose 7/8 seats along the route of HS2 to single issue candidates
    9. The Tories will lose one seat in Portsmouth due to shipbuilding being concentrated in Scotland
    10. No control of mass immigration
    11. Public spending still out of control and the national debt rising on a daily basis
    12. Human Rights Act still in place
    13. No referendum on Europe
    14. State control of the press introduced
    15. Cameron wanted to take us to war in Syria
    16. Gay Marriage
    17. The BBC is left wing and will act as Labour’s main election campaigner in 2015
    18. QE is destroying any savings people may have
    19. Cameron’s continued, unsubstantiated, support for Climate Change and general green issues.

  63. 63
    Nigel Mansell's gear box says:

    The A’riel Sharon of Motorsport ?

  64. 64
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    Well said, number 30!

  65. 65
    A now very depressed Dave Cameron says:

    Sadly I think you are right.

  66. 66

    I will resist the one about Poles.

  67. 67

    Yeah, but apart from that…?

  68. 68
    King Edward says:

    Propaganda. How much did they bung you Guido?

  69. 69
    No,doubt says:

    Hate filled Celtic fans…

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Can’t wait to see his balanced 5 on the other 3. His headmaster will be quite pleased with this first effort however the possibilities with the other 3 are virtually bottomless.

  71. 71
    Rhubarb says:

    He’d have to find him first!

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Look up democracy in a dictionary. Then promise the electorate the real thing. Government of the people, by the people, for the people, (actual policy selection by the majority mandate of the majority, not a minority aas now).

  73. 73

    There was a time when the Telegraph would not have given houseroom to the likes of Stanley , in the last few years the paper has deteriorated into the Guardian Mark II. The mad socialist ramblings of Mary Riddel, the raving mad ecolunatic Geoffrey Lean ,and today Peter Osborne whining about the tory ‘eurosceptics ‘ being disloyal says enough.
    The only decent thing about it now is the crosswords.

  74. 74
    bunga bunga says:

    we’ll never know….but we have a pretty good incling

  75. 75
    Woz goin on says:

    Riddell, Hodges and now Tit Stanley. What is going on at the DT?

  76. 76
    The Old Queen says:

    Tim looks deliciously fuckable – has anyone had the pleasure?

  77. 77
    The Old Queen says:


  78. 78
    The Old Queen says:

    I was with you all the way up to “elite”.

  79. 79
    altruism in industry says:

    Strange to think that if he hadn’t driven into Damon then the events of his life would have been completely different

  80. 80

    At least you did not mention Cameron leaving his brat in the pub ,well done !

  81. 81
    Cameron is a flabby, useless cunt says:

    “Labour’s immigration control” = oxymoron.

  82. 82
    The Old Queen says:

    A disgraceful slur on a fine newspaper.

    The insinuation that its readers are dirty old sodomites is ridiculous.

  83. 83
    Winston says:

    Not forgetting Dan Hodges (Glenda Jackson’s champagne socialist son) frequent contributions.

  84. 84
    broderick crawford says:

    i m relocating to PICTLAND so i ll get my dotsge care free without sacrificing my house and savings .

    though what use either will be to me when i am confined to dribbling in a wheelchair God only knows .

  85. 85
    broderick crawford says:

    Flash Player enabled content is not viewable on Ipad s because Apple have been in litigation with Adobe since tbe year dot .

    So not much porn on Apple devices then given the majority
    is run on Flash .

  86. 86
    Spartacus says:

    but they were unworthy Christian white scum

    po’se nel’son wa’s a black man – i lernd it at s’cool

  87. 87
    Icini123 says:

    71% of Mirror website readers who completed their online straw poll, said they intended to vote UKIP. Assuming UKIP activists don’t all read a Labour newspaper, which is unlikely, that’s astonishing.

  88. 88
    The MoD says:

    Cleary and Pringle on the rugby and cricket too. A bigger pair of useless Hunt sports writers I’m yet to find.

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Really? Have you not read some of nasty, vile and hate-filled comments here?

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Yes but, while the Tories don’t want to offend their backers, what does UKIP plan to do about Banker’s Bonuses?

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Well, well, Godfrey Bloom – the Voice of UKIP in 2014.

  92. 92
    Piggy Banks says:

    If this site has not started one yet, a new debate on the Bankers might not go amiss – starting a comment from Robert Peston on the BBC online:

    “…Quite a number of bosses of big companies, even Labour-sympathising ones, tell me that they were made to feel profoundly uncomfortable by Mr Miliband’s speech to his conference, because they felt he was characterising them as the enemy…”

    So, is the Labour Party really telling the (greedy) bankers where to get off?

  93. 93
    Tom Catesby. says:

    What, before us, surely not?

  94. 94
    Tom Catesby. says:

    ‘Scotland decends into a third world pisspot’

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