January 16th, 2014

5 Top Tips for UKIP

Amusing video from The Telegraph’s Tim Stanley.


  1. 1

    I am not going to be first.


    • 2
      • 5
        Maggie the dog says:

        I think we all should stay out of Scotland let it go it alone and laugh as it desend’s into a third world piss pot


        • 6
          Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

          Its not already?


          • Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

            Any way Tim Stanley is a jumped up socialist t**ser
            and about as amusing as a snake bite.


          • tn02 says:

            All you need to know about this fuckwit who insists on calling himslef Dr Tim Stanley…

            IQ tests don’t test your intelligence. They test your patience


            Tim Stanley: “When I finally tried one, I came out with a score that puts me in the category of the educationally subnormal.”

            Top comment:

            “If you’re looking for someone to express surprise at that Tim, I fear you may have a long wait … “


          • Another top comment about Stanley says:

            “So, it turns out that I’m stupid. All those A-levels were for nought: my
            entire career at Cambridge was the result of a clerical error. Because,
            according to the IQ tests, I have the intelligence of a goldfish with
            learning difficulties. I’d probably get lost trying to find my way
            around the glass bowl.”

            In fairness, Tim, the IQ results are strongly supported by your early political positions:

            “Stanley joined the British Labour Party at the age of 15. He was Chair of Cambridge University Labour Club in 2003-4, and stood as the Labour candidate for his home constituency of Sevenoaks at the 2005 general election, where he came third.”

            Just saying….


          • And another says:

            They’re not really intelligence questions they’re catch out questions for a DJ show. IQ questions give so much information from which the subject has to quickly and accurately work out other information not given. They usual consist of sequences of associations between words, numbers, symbols or patterns.

            IQ is very important ( in the real word). In the Mickey mouse pretend utopia of the liberals it is very threatening. It creates a hierarchy not coincidental with the liberals hierarchy of elite, minority and victim. It also impinges upon the ability to justify the construction / de-construction of liberal narratives which take the place of truth in their odd little world.

            That’s why they pretend IQ doesn’t exist.


          • The Old Queen says:

            Tim looks deliciously fuckable – has anyone had the pleasure?


        • 8
          Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Immigrants, Criminals & other Wasters. says:

          I thought it already was a 3rd world piss pot going by the amount of charity welfare claimants?


          • Maggie the dog says:



          • broderick crawford says:

            i m relocating to PICTLAND so i ll get my dotsge care free without sacrificing my house and savings .

            though what use either will be to me when i am confined to dribbling in a wheelchair God only knows .


        • 23
          rick says:

          I think the reverse is true: Keep doing those five things – it’s what has made UKIP popular with the public, who have become tired of mincing politicos.


        • 93
          Tom Catesby. says:

          What, before us, surely not?


    • 7
      vile labour ruined my wife says:

      oh look another incredibly posh journalist, probably public school and Oxbridge, preaching to the rest of us.


    • 27
      Owne Stnaley says:

      Has anyone ever seen Tim Stanley and Owen Jones in the same place at the same time?


    • 68
      King Edward says:

      Propaganda. How much did they bung you Guido?


  2. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Vote Lib Lab Con, inshalla


  3. 4
    Richard says:

    Well …could almost have been amusing had it been fair.


    • 13
      Adobe Flash Player required to view this content says:

      Could have been amusing if I could watch it.


      • 18
        civil engineering plant says:



      • 20
        C.O.Jones says:

        You have not missed anything. Some idiot IMO, trying to diss UKIP in a very amateurish way.


        • 24
          walking into darkness says:

          The Telegraph, 50% at least of readers must be UKIP, seems infiltrated by Guardian revolutionaries. Why?

          Can’t wait for by-election in Manchester, Miliband will be toast if they lose to UKIP, interesting that bookies have stopped taking bets on a UKIP win


          • C.O.Jones says:

            UKIP is like a 60″ telly, tory voters can afford one so they buy in, pretty soon the labour voters will want one too.


          • Icini123 says:

            71% of Mirror website readers who completed their online straw poll, said they intended to vote UKIP. Assuming UKIP activists don’t all read a Labour newspaper, which is unlikely, that’s astonishing.


      • 53
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        Adobe Flash is sooo New Labour…

        Can someone ask the mongs at T’Graph et al. to get into the 21st Century and start supporting HTML5 video tag ?


      • 85
        broderick crawford says:

        Flash Player enabled content is not viewable on Ipad s because Apple have been in litigation with Adobe since tbe year dot .

        So not much porn on Apple devices then given the majority
        is run on Flash .


    • 31
      harsh but fair says:

      It was shiite, just another metro-sexual posho left-leaning twat out of touch with reality


  4. 12
    Tin foil top hat says:

    Five top tips for the LibLabCon
    1) keeping working towards making our children bow before all*h
    2) keep troughing
    3) keep giving reach arounds to Goldman Sach et al
    4) keep passing our sovreignty to eurabia (see also point 1)
    5) above all- keeping treating us like serfs.


  5. 16
    Ed Miliband says:

    When I become PM in a coalition I will have Clegg as DPM and Ed as Chancellor.We will stay in the EU and I shall raise taxes and state intervention. If I don’t freeze it or cap it I will ban it. You know it makes sense.


  6. 17
    Wait - what! says:

    The Tories really are worried.


    • 62
      Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

      The Tories can’t win in 2015 as
      1. No boundary changes
      2. Corruption within the Postal voting system not resolved
      3. UKIP trending at ~ 15% in the polls; they cost the Tories 20 seats in 2010 with 3% of the vote.
      4. Pilgrims still in position actively campaigning against the Government of the day using taxpayers money
      5. Union education fund is still in place
      6. No TU reform allowing Crow and his mob hold us to ransom
      7. Tory constituency parties are disintegrating in protest at Cameron’s liberal policies
      8. The Tories will lose 7/8 seats along the route of HS2 to single issue candidates
      9. The Tories will lose one seat in Portsmouth due to shipbuilding being concentrated in Scotland
      10. No control of mass immigration
      11. Public spending still out of control and the national debt rising on a daily basis
      12. Human Rights Act still in place
      13. No referendum on Europe
      14. State control of the press introduced
      15. Cameron wanted to take us to war in Syria
      16. Gay Marriage
      17. The BBC is left wing and will act as Labour’s main election campaigner in 2015
      18. QE is destroying any savings people may have
      19. Cameron’s continued, unsubstantiated, support for Climate Change and general green issues.


  7. 21
    Airey Belvoir says:

    At least Godfrey Bloom has a sense of humour and is his own man, unlike the priggish, humourless political robots and censorious journos who infest our public space.


  8. 22
    Top Tip says:

    Fuck the metrosexual elite and what they think because they would never vote UKIP anyway.


  9. 25
    keith says:

    Tim Stanley the man who cant make up his mind if he should stand as a labour candidate again or for the Tories, cant make up his mind if he is a good Baptist boy or catholic or should he go back to the church of England, someone to be listened to for decisive opinion


  10. 26
    altruism in industry says:

    Quietly, with little notice, another days is removed from the list of days until the British public votes out the traitorous scum and replaces them with a government of patriots.


  11. 30
    Vote UKIP destroy Cameron get my party back says:

    If my parents could put up with 6 years of bombing by Hitler I can sure as shit put up with 5 years of Labour to eventually win the political war and rid the Tory party of Cameron and his Europhile cuckoos in the nest.


    • 37
      Paxman's scruffy beard says:

      1) Cameron is happily continuing Brown’s £2 billion p.a. pension raid
      2) Cameron’s £175 Billion QE is almost the same as Brown’s £200 Billion QE
      3) Cameron has happily continued Labour’s immigration control
      4) Cameron has done nothing about the BBC, in the same way that Labour didn’t
      5) Cameron and Miliband both want the UK to stay in the EU
      6) Cameron has raised taxes just as Labour did

      … any others?

      Vote UKIP or we’ll get more of the same, whoever gets in.


    • 38
      Wait - what says:

      Good point though unfortunately, the financial cost will be the same too.


    • 45
      RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

      Solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant

      In five years, Ed and I could decimate your savings, plunder your pensions (again) and vaporise your wealth. We call it Socialist scorched earth.


      • 57
        Vote UKIP destroy Cameron get my party back says:

        In terms of sacrifice bugger all compared to what my parents and millions of other Brits put up with then.


        • 86
          Spartacus says:

          but they were unworthy Christian white scum

          po’se nel’son wa’s a black man – i lernd it at s’cool


    • 64
      (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

      Well said, number 30!


  12. 34
    Ah! Monika says:

    LATEST:F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone to be tried on bribery charges, German court rules.

    No surprise for Blair then.


  13. 35

    Kate Moss.

    Happy Birthday.

    I would.


  14. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Such a pretty boy who will work wonders for DT circulation figures.


    • 82
      The Old Queen says:

      A disgraceful slur on a fine newspaper.

      The insinuation that its readers are dirty old sodomites is ridiculous.


  15. 41
    Ah! Monika says:

    German weekly news magazine Focus reported that ‘Schumacher could be in a coma forever’ after speaking with experts on his condition. Mail.

    Not the best grammar methinks.


  16. 48
    Anonymous says:

    Oh Timothy what will your mother say?


  17. 52
    UKIP or bust says:

    Ah, (at the end of the video clip) those violent and angry socialists chanting scum, scum, scum, in Scotland. Reminds me of those violent and angry national socialists in Germany in the 1930s shouting their words of hate.

    S’funny how you never see UKIP supporters acting the same way as violent and angry hate filled socialists.


  18. 69
    No,doubt says:

    Hate filled Celtic fans…


  19. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Can’t wait to see his balanced 5 on the other 3. His headmaster will be quite pleased with this first effort however the possibilities with the other 3 are virtually bottomless.


  20. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Look up democracy in a dictionary. Then promise the electorate the real thing. Government of the people, by the people, for the people, (actual policy selection by the majority mandate of the majority, not a minority aas now).


  21. 73

    There was a time when the Telegraph would not have given houseroom to the likes of Stanley , in the last few years the paper has deteriorated into the Guardian Mark II. The mad socialist ramblings of Mary Riddel, the raving mad ecolunatic Geoffrey Lean ,and today Peter Osborne whining about the tory ‘eurosceptics ‘ being disloyal says enough.
    The only decent thing about it now is the crosswords.


  22. 75
    Woz goin on says:

    Riddell, Hodges and now Tit Stanley. What is going on at the DT?


    • 88
      The MoD says:

      Cleary and Pringle on the rugby and cricket too. A bigger pair of useless Hunt sports writers I’m yet to find.


  23. 92
    Piggy Banks says:

    If this site has not started one yet, a new debate on the Bankers might not go amiss – starting a comment from Robert Peston on the BBC online:

    “…Quite a number of bosses of big companies, even Labour-sympathising ones, tell me that they were made to feel profoundly uncomfortable by Mr Miliband’s speech to his conference, because they felt he was characterising them as the enemy…”

    So, is the Labour Party really telling the (greedy) bankers where to get off?


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