January 15th, 2014

Tory MPs’ Verdict on Craig Oliver’s Fireworks PowerPoint


Another classic Alan Partridge moment from Craig Oliver last night, reading out his media CV to Tory MPs before giving them a PowerPoint presentation on the year ahead that used fireworks transitions. “I had the third best slot on Radio Norwich”, or something like that.

One MP in attendance complains to Guido that “he didn’t understand his audience that’s for sure”, who were expecting at least a discussion on the massive elephant in the room, Europe. Cue an awkward reception, which another attendee says was only briefly halted by laughing when Alistair Burt’s name came on annunciator even though he was in the room.

As Guido revealed in the Sun over the weekend, in a PowerPoint to ministers Craig told them this year is about “show and tell”. He reckons the Tories have won the key arguments and voters agreed that things were on the up, so now the Government needs to spend the next year connecting with voters on an emotional level. One observer described the new strategy as “touchy feely time.”


  1. 1
    BOB coCROWch says:


    • 2
      Jim says:

      But he was not himself paying the Rent!

    • 9
      M­a­q­bo­ul says:

      But only as asset for the NUM. Not for himself you understand.

      I believe him, although thousands wouldn’t.

    • 23
      uy7 says:

      Everything in Politics is so FAKE.

      • 29
        Samcam says:

        If you were married to Dave, you’d have to fake it as well. I’m so fed up with having to be a toyboy for him.

    • 25
      Casual Observer 2 says:

      Shampain Soshialist is soooo yesterday.

      I’t’s “Gauche Caviar” nowadays, thanks to Franky Hollandaise and his Dommes

    • 32
      Anonymous says:

      Every socialist, every Trade Union Leader and Every Yorkshire man I know used to trade under the stereotype this person fashioned. Turns out he and the image he created was all hat and no cattle.

    • 47
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Out! Out! Out!

  2. 3
    Randy Marsh says:

    ‘Touchy feely..?

    I thought Mongcock was on bail..?

    • 15
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      Lord Rennard is vindicated :-)

      • 26
        Dr Faustus says:

        I notice the LibDems have appointed a “pastoral care officer” to manage the torrent of complaints to the Party about touchy feelies.

        How do these bastards find the time to do any governing? Oh, I see…

  3. 4
    The great bore of two decades says:

    PowerPoint. Waste of time for the work who authors it and waste of time for the victims who have to suffer it.

    • 7
      Anon says:

      It’s one of the reasons I set up my own business; I no longer have to endure Death By PowerPoint.

      • 17
        Anonymous says:

        That is like saying “guns kill”.

        People only use the tools that they think give them power.

        • 21
          The rich immersive PowerPoint experience says:

          People who use PowerPoint don’t think.

          • A right fucking bastard says:

            We now live in a world of Powerpoint Government. Mr Churchill must be turning in his grave!

        • 28
          The Cosmopolitans says:

          We emply the stupid Goy as useful idiots…what tools they really are!

        • 31
          Dr Faustus says:

          I have Powerpoint on my laptop and a copy on my office computer. I’ve never had to use it in anger: but it’s comforting to know I always have a snappy presentation at hand to keep me and my family safe.

    • 11
      M­a­q­bo­ul says:

      It’s a great excuse to have a meeting without an agenda.

      • 39
        650 cunts sitting in the HoC says:

        Oh, we always have an agenda. It’s just that you lot don’t know what it is.

    • 22
      Anonymous says:

      Powerpoint is for diagrams and pictures. Bullet points are only for those that have no memory, and are afraid to look at the audience.

  4. 5
  5. 6
    Freddie Lee says:

    Re “Tories have won the key arguments”

    Not on printing uncapped ICT work visas for masses of Indian nationals to keep swarming in they have not…

    Not on the “aid” budget they have not


  6. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Seems like a nice boy.

  7. 14


    Land of Dope and Tory, Labour, BИP,
    How shall we steamroll thee and set our people free?
    Wider still and wider, our EU binds be set!
    Nigel, make us mighty, make us mightier yet!
    Nigel, make us mighty, make us mightier yet!

    LibDems not worth their handle, Neither is the case,
    They give away the bennies, help Indies into space!
    UKIP is the answer, help to cut our debt;
    Nigel, make us mighty, make us mightier yet!
    Nigel, make us mighty, make us mightier yet!


  8. 19
    Ah! Monika says:

    If you’re going to fuck the whole of France without an outcome you will need over 60 million condoms

  9. 24
    Ah! Monika says:

    BBC has a £2billion black hole.

    Not much Left now then.

  10. 27
    Arthur says:

    Cameron has done enough touchy-feely stuff – time for action although I won’t be holding my breath.

  11. 35
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    With 90% of the top dole claiming constituencies represented by The Labour Party they should be renamed The Layabout Party :-)

    • 44
      Benny Fitz-Clements says:

      Or perhaps more accurately, the Benefits Party

    • 45
      Anon. says:

      Here’s the leader. Labour MP and Labour Council turn gold into sh#t.
      The Democrats did the the same with Detroit. But at least some do alright out of it.

  12. 37
    Labour hypocrisy knows no bounds says:

    Limit RBS bonuses, Labour urges

    Labour, which let RBS bonuses balloon and gave Fred Goodwin a knighthood.

  13. 41
    UKIP, the only solution says:

    Touchy feely?

    Close hands around the throat of a selected liblabcon politician and squeeze firmly.

    Now thats a touchy feely I could get behind.

  14. 42
    The ONS says:

    In the great scheme of things someone somewhere must have PowerPointed and presented his porn stash by accident.

  15. 43
    Fuckwit Watch says:

    Craig Oliver – ex BBC and raised in Scotland.

    Nuff said about this fuckwit!

  16. 52
    Ian Smith says:

    Universal Credit will be delivered on time and on budget.

  17. 62
    FFS says:

    Am I still banned for making a possibly libellous comment?

  18. 65
    Blooming Godfrey says:

    He needs to watch this.

Seen Elsewhere

Cocaine Conservatives | Standard
Jezza Browne Responds to LibDem Haters | LibDem Voice
Why Britain Needs to Leave the EU | Douglas Carswell
Literally No One is Watching London Live | MediaGuido
Who Tells Ed When He’s Wrong? | Speccie
Hands Off Our Cojones, Mr Clegg | Laura Perrins
London Live Averaging Just 2,400 Viewers | Forbes
Ed’s Constitutional Failure | ConHome
UKIP Poster Girl’s Naked Photos | Sun
Miliband’s Radical Old Labour Agenda | Fraser Nelson
Meet Team Miliband | Dan Hodges

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?

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