January 14th, 2014

Michael White on Guardian: “How Petty We Can Be”

Fearless exposer or political wrongdoing and campaigner on behalf of the public Michael White reckons revealing the cost of MPs’ vanity portraits is beneath a respectable publication:

Clearly he hasn’t seen the front page of his own paper this morning:


How petty. 


  1. 1
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    OMG….who is that racist bint in the photo?

  2. 2
    Ambrose Pilchard Evans says:

    Diand looks remarkably like a neanderthal

  3. 3
    Clown (Ex Swivel-Eyed Loon) says:

    The juxtaposition of the cover photos on the Telegraph yesterday was something to behold.

  4. 4
    Deed Pole. says:

    Maggie deserved her statue, Betty her picture. The rest – They should be placed at the bottom of lamp posts so dogs can p**s on them. And the pictures thrown away.

  5. 5
    M102 says:

    Lefty is a hypocrite shocker!

  6. 6
    Box Brownie says:

    You can’t ‘Photoshop’ an oil painting. pity!

  7. 7
    Bulls**t Baffles Brains says:

    The tragedy is, it’s a very flattering portrait.

  8. 8
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    He’d be better employed fulfilling his duties as C.O. of the Walmington on Sea Home Guard.

  9. 9
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Front page of Guardian does look like a police e-fit for the missing link.

    Have heard of cold cases but that would be pushing it.

  10. 10
    Owen Jones says:

    How about one of me naked?

  11. 11
    UKIP or bust says:

    Why does he spell his name with a ‘W’ and not with an ‘S’?

  12. 12
    Lou Scannon says:

    We should insist on these portraits being as accurate and up-to-date as possible to assist in the identification of the mickey-takers come the revolution.

  13. 13
    Yo Reg says:

    Woz Reginald D Hunter doin’ on da front of da Guardian. He sure do lurve dat Thatcher bitch. Respect. Ya man.

  14. 14
    Cymro oddi ar y llinell says:

    The style is called A-level realism.

  15. 15
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Tony Blair and Al Campbell dart boards could be good in Strangers Bar.

  16. 16
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Of course Michael White doesn’t read the Gurniad. Not many people do.

  17. 17
    Tony Blair says:

    From one butcher to another, I pay tribute to my friend Arik.

  18. 18
    Hypocrite says:

    How petty we can be

    How does he square that with Labour and The Guardian’s obsession with the cost of living crisis?

  19. 19
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:


  20. 20
    12 Years no shave says:

    They have really lightened her skin – like she wants to be white…

  21. 21
    Silent Majority says:

    These MPs demand austerity and then commission portrait artists. If they cannot control their own costs, what hope can we have for the public sector as a whole?

    Why didn’t they invite art college students to have a go? Many would have done a better job.

  22. 22
    Ah! Monika says:

    Link posted on here yesterday morning. Keep up

  23. 23
    Common Man says:

    Abbot’s painting looks like a wanted police photofit for a Duggan gang member..

  24. 24
    It's a fact says:

    It looks like an FBI reconstruction of a body found in the aftermath of a fire.

  25. 25
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    What for?

  26. 26
    Randy Marsh says:

    Christ..! That’s fugly…!!! The ugliness of Abbott refects the ugliness in Whyte.

  27. 27
    nell says:


  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Jacob Reece- Mogg has just explained it on the Today Prog.The pictures etc are all of “firsts” Di was the first black female MP.I suppose he has a point, but its such an awful picture of her.Plus it makes her look as though she is light skinned which is very odd.

  29. 29
    nell says:

    My word MP’s are just totally untrustworthy, completely out of control and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near taxpayers money.

    First we had the expenses scandal and now we’ve got the portait scandal – whatever next!

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    How do they square the public giving £27,000,000 to children in need if we are all scraping a living ?

  31. 31
    Fish says:

    In an effort to boost his plummeting approval ratings, Labour HQ are proposing the novel idea that Weird Ed has an affair with an attractive actress.

    To be seen as a ‘man about town’…’a lothario’…will, it is thought, boost his popularity amongst red blooded men and women up and down Britain.

    From a whole list of slebs, our Ed has shortlisted:

    Cathy Burke
    Cathy Burke
    Cathy Burke

  32. 32
    An angry taxpaying pleb says:

    Send the bills to the fuckers involved not me.

  33. 33
    Ms Abbott. says:

    Wait ’till I unveil my Lucian Freud portrait.

  34. 34
    Chris Bryant says:

    It only cost 50p at Boots for that tasteful photo of me in my grundies

  35. 35
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Well she isn’t an Iorish colleen or or an Isrealli ladyboy singer, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I aint a pretty boy as neither of the Fawkes’s are, someone likes you somewher, maybe only yourself.

  36. 36
    An angry taxpaying pleb says:

    Have you ever heard of a Socialist managing any budget on time and to price ?

    I have not.

    Mind you Farage and Cameron’s lot would fail the same tests.

  37. 37

    Good job she’s not green. Shrek would be out of a job.

  38. 38
    Ah! Monika says:

    Then you might become 1 again.

  39. 39
    albacore says:

    Good stuff! We need every possible interpretation
    Of all the worthies who have undermined our whole nation
    So that when, at long last, that great day of reckoning comes
    There’ll be no hiding place left for any one of the bums

  40. 40
    M102 says:


  41. 41
    The devil wears Prada says:

    More expenses ?

  42. 42
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    I don’t mind telling you I’ve got a stiffy !

  43. 43
    Sick of Abbot says:

    That picture of Abbot just made me throw up over my cornflakes. I understand she has a child. Who on earth would want to breed with that manbearpighippo?

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Yesterday The Torygraph published artist impressions of our ancestors under title – ` Meet the ancestors – best ever reconstruction of early humans’. Check it out!!

  45. 45
    Owen Jones says:

    The UK’s inflation rate, as measured by the Conservative led coalition, fell to a four-year low of 2% in December.

  46. 46
    Professor Plum says:

    F**k me. What a boiler!

  47. 47
    Frame her says:

    She looks like the missing link

  48. 48

    Nah! :-)

    What moniker have you been lurking under of late?

  49. 49
    Mr Potato Head says:

    How does he square the obesity crisis with the cost of living?

  50. 50

    Do they not have a Strangler’s bar?

  51. 51
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Apart from the chin and lack of ginger hair, still a lot of Iorish are ginger but they are not Neanderlatals, are they, the neanderthals were white skinned, there are no Neaderthal genes in people from black races from Africa unless they are of mixed race.

  52. 52
    Mr Potato Head says:

    We are all in your money together.

  53. 53

    But Rich and Mark do so every Monday…

  54. 54
    Ah! Monika says:

    Francois Hollande ‘spent nights with actress without security’ Telegraph

    Obviously out of les préservatifs

  55. 55
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Cost of Miliband crisis.

  56. 56

    He probably has people to do it for him.

  57. 57

    More of a rectangle, looking at the paintings.

  58. 58
    Questions of our time says:

    Then where is the del Piero nude with her tits out portrait ?

    After all, her history in the modeling industry must be a first of sorts and that would be easier on the eye.

  59. 59
    Ben says:

    Is that one of those re-constructions of Neanderthal man from a couple of skull fragments, in the Grauniad?

  60. 60
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Without protection? I always knew Johnny foreigners were not very popular.

  61. 61
    C.O.Jones says:

    And Bercow was the first what?

  62. 62
    Renoir says:

    Blimey, that bint’s no oil pointing.

  63. 63
    Peter Martin says:

    Mr. White, pontificating upon high about pettiness and shooting himself in both feet again? Say it ain’t so.

    One look at his twitter feed shows that he is the soul of irony-appreciation, self-depreciation and humour as a rule.

    Though any tempted to point out this rather funny left hand/lefter hand discrepancy may need to brace themselves for one of his graceless, patronising comebacks.

    He’s a national treasure you know.

  64. 64

    He has a pied à terre in the south west near Condom.

  65. 65
    John Smith says:

    Would that be the link between cream cakes and obesity?

  66. 66
    The Aardvark of Andover says:


    Ed Milllllliband writing in the Tgraph with comments on.

    Such Fun.

  67. 67
    Public Opinion says:

    The first in the list of the worst Speakers in the House of Commons.

  68. 68
    John Smith says:

    White and our host have history..

  69. 69
    Sally Bercow says:

    …or me.

  70. 70
    Psyche the Dog says:

    As a market trader during both Con & Lab rule I thought I would make a shed load money if I could toilet paper with the faces of leading politicos printed thereon, one lot Cons and the other Lab, pick the markets watch the money come in, sadly I never did do it.

  71. 71
    Vazoline says:

    I believe the vast majority of my colleagues in the House will wish to commission a portrait of me.

  72. 72
    Mr Whippy says:

    I thought he was dead

  73. 73
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Or even the picture of the Madonna with the Big Boobies by Van Clomp

  74. 74
    Mind bleach urgently required says:

    Shee-eet !

  75. 75
    The voters says:

    We all wish you were a little stiff.

  76. 76
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Puss, he, she or it does try to draw those cartoons which everyone loves (to moan about)

  77. 77
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The whole of Europe has a ‘cost of government crisis’

    It’s time for a taxpayers revolt across Europe.

  78. 78


  79. 79
    The Duke says:

    Would give a new meaning to the term ‘oil painting’…

  80. 80
    FFS says:

    I knew it reminded me of something! Spot on!

  81. 81
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Obviously Fawkes does!

  82. 82
    Norman Prickles says:

    It was bought with protection money.

  83. 83

    Normally takes a photo as a base. Sometimes a painting.

    Good excuse for someone who is poor at drawing.

    Also lifts the cost:reward ratio.

  84. 84
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    Complete k**b head?

  85. 85
    Andy Warthog says:

    The style is called someone other than Abbott turned up for the sitting.

  86. 86
    FFS says:

    What about Skinner and Benn?

  87. 87
    Psyche the Dog says:


  88. 88
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    In oils no doubt!

  89. 89
    Wait - what! says:

    * applause *

  90. 90
    (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

    Hoorah! Back in the game.

  91. 91
    FFS says:

    So basically, SC, you are saying that Rich can’t even trace properly?

    Now you see that’s where it’s all going wrong. When I was at school all we ever seemed to do was trace stuff. Now the kids are all using computers. What will we do when the NWO takes over all the computers eh? We will have to revert to tracing stuff to avoid detection but nobody will remember these old skills.

  92. 92
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Well, it doesn’t seem to have harmed Bonking Boris over the years.

  93. 93
    FFS says:

    Rich bankers

  94. 94
    Bryan Sewall says:

    It is a terrible portrait. She’s immature and vain but has a personality but this painting makes her look like a waxwork from the Sydney aboriginal museum.

  95. 95
    Cabbage says:

    It looks like Piltdown Man’s other ‘alf.

  96. 96
    FFS says:

    Not printing enough money.

  97. 97
    john in cheshire says:

    Can we all have our portrait taken, at taxpayers’ expense?

  98. 98
    The uncomfotable truth says:

    So you are saying that blacks are descended through a different evolutionary branch than whites?

    Quite so. That’s why a lot of blacks behave like animals.

  99. 99
    FFS says:

    If you zoom out do you see her clasping a spear in her right hand?

  100. 100
    Ed the head says:

    I used to have a school book with a picture of a neanderthal in it, every time I see that Diane Abbot painting it reminds me of it. Hang that up above the fireplace and the kids will never go anywhere near it.

  101. 101
    Surr Nob Skelpoff says:

    No doubt what will happen after their mendacious and Nihilistic egos have been massaged, the paintings will disappear into some dark attic to gather dust. Otherwise, they would become a useful warning from the past…

  102. 102
    Neanderthal Cave 3 Painter says:

    She’s far too fuggly to be one of our women

  103. 103
    Psyche the Dog says:

    “as measured by the Conservative led coalition” It doesn’t matter which party is in power Owen, they all use various lengths of inch to suit their purpose, there are lies, damn lies, and what the government declares, it’s a bit like tractor stats, fairy tales.

  104. 104

    Can’t answer that one but have now discovered the reason why we had such a preponderance of Traceys a generation ago.

    Well, I didn’t have them, of course…


  105. 105
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Is that where Bonking Boris goes Cat

  106. 106

    Who the fuck agreed to this waste of money on your Watch, Dave?

    You are supposed to be cutting Government expenditure. Remember?

    Come on you gormless tosser — what’s the answer?

  107. 107
    Diane Abbott M.P. says:

    I don’t think you understand how these things work, little man.

  108. 108
    Will H says:

    That’s it….comment of the week!

  109. 109
    Fatbott is a Gauche Caviar cow. says:

    The same school books used to show Neanderthals half naked in the snow, trying to get a fire going to cook a dead mammoth.

    How about cannibalising the fatbott in this ludicrous portrait, instead of going to all th trouble of hunting mammoths

  110. 110
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Puss that’s naughty advertising, “Michelin star restaurant on Charlotte Street, in central London, Fine dining in a refined and discreet setting.” it’s suprising where cats go isn’t it.

  111. 111
    John Smith says:

    No, she’s got a mammoth burger and double fries.

  112. 112
    Anon. says:

    Now he thinks it’s ok for the BBC to spend money in the same way.


  113. 113
    C.O.Jones says:

    Free portraits are only available to politicians and convicted criminals.

  114. 114
    D Abbott says:

    Your portiat? Mounted and in a position of your choice?

  115. 115
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Apparently there is more genetic variation in Negro African races than in other races, according to various studies published.

  116. 116
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    Ah! Monika – you are turning me on, say it again.

  117. 117
    Jasmin Beckett's Dildo says:

    We’ve long had a tradition in this country of painting nobility for future generations to know who the great and the good of the day were, but when they start painting a jumped up gobby cleaner, things have gone too far

  118. 118
    Anon. says:

    Nasty piece of work.

  119. 119
    martin Day says:

    She posed naked but the painter got confused as to which was her minge and which was her mouth, and got it wrong.

  120. 120
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    The fuckers just don’t get it do they. Why are we paying for pics of these worthless deadbeats? As for fattie’s pic- this is the stuff of nightmares.

  121. 121
    Psyche the Dog says:

    What’s the difference, judging by what has appeared on this blog over the years.

  122. 122
    Poor Tom says:

    First’s I suppose that’s right IDS the first mass murderer in Parliament

  123. 123
    rightwinggit says:

    Why have they painted her white?

    They could just have used creosote and saved a few grand.

  124. 124

    If I had said Bucket of Shit, you could probably find a restaurant that traded under that name.

    In fact, I think I went there once…

  125. 125
    Mandy says:


  126. 126
    Peter Martin says:

    Given his less than mature manner of debate, one imagines Mr. White ‘has history’ with more than a few. The Guardian must be so proud to have him as a key representative.

  127. 127
    Peter Martin says:

    There he goes again… winning friends and influencing people.

    Polite counterview & fair point… and he avoids it, mutters incoherently and heads straight for the ad homs.


  128. 128
    rightwinggit says:

    Treasure should be buried.

  129. 129
    Eborgleve says:

    Creosote has been banned for ‘painting’, but they could have let her? drink it.

  130. 130
  131. 131
    rightwinggit says:

    Everyone’s little compared to you, bloater!

  132. 132
    Earwig O'Again says:

    aka Ashton?

  133. 133
    FFS says:

    Blair surely?

  134. 134
    I hate socialists. says:

    I think that the painting makes her even more appealing than in real life.

  135. 135
    John Bellingham says:

    Perhaps the Penny will drop on Saturday.

  136. 136
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I tell you what ‘Sir’ Michael – you pay for the fucking pictures. It amazes me how the Guardian political team could include a decent bloke like Hoggart and a slug like White in harness.

  137. 137
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Full marks for that, sir.

  138. 138
    rightwinggit says:

    Let white=c­u­nt

    That’s not an ad hom, it’s a statement.

  139. 139
    bogtrott says:

    god she could earn a fortune in a travelling circus,’come and look a pig with two ar ses’

  140. 140
    Cynic2 says:

    Imagine. Just imagine

    Its been a heavy night and you met this lovely looking woman. Next morning she says “Shit” and rolls out of bed in the half light and scoots to the bathroom. You wait outside for her to finish, then there’s a flush and the door opens to confront you with that vision of loveliness.

  141. 141
    Poor Tom says:

    Scoop……Andrew Bridgen on drugs, he has just stated on the Daily Politics show that you will not find a more decent human being than IDS…mass murderer of disabled british benefit claimants.

  142. 142
    Poor Tom says:

    Mass murderer of the British sick and disabled ….

  143. 143
    Displaced Brummie says:

    It’s bad enough that Michael White has to write for the Guardian. It would be unfair to expect him to ready the damnable rag, too!

  144. 144
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Damn. Read, rather than ready. Oh, welly.

  145. 145
    Hugh Janus says:

    Whatever it is, it should be kept under wraps or, better still, never commissioned in the first place. It is truly bloody awful so, please Guido, no more because it’s causing the dog to vomit copiously.

  146. 146
    sailor says:

    What do you mean “fuggly” she’s f**king ugly pet!!

  147. 147
    rightwinggit says:

    Ronseal fencelife?

  148. 148
    2112 says:

    That would be Andy Burnham.

  149. 149
    Eborgleve says:

    That will do nicely sir.

  150. 150
    2112 says:

    John Merrick had a sister- who knew?

  151. 151
    broerick crawfordd says:

    the first speaker under the mental age of 60 ( momths )

  152. 152
    jiltedjon says:

    Also from the Gurniad a report on a demo……….
    “Ahead of the second episode of Channel 4’s controversial documentary series Benefits Street…….yada yada yada……….. The Great British Bake Off (which Love Productions also makes). Pilgrim Tucker of the Unite union…….”

    Is this one of the famous trade union Pilgrims which so annoy Guido? If so why was she not at her civil service desk pretending to do some work? We should be told!

  153. 153
    auntie DUGGAN says:


  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    Is that painting of Diane Abbott by Chris Ofili? If so, it should be spritzed up by rolling it in glitter.

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:


  156. 156
    Poor Tom says:

    Burnhams only a beginner compared to IDS he’s dispatching them at great speed…..

  157. 157
    Zackly Disease says:

    Face looks zackly like her arse!

  158. 158
    A Maimed Badger says:

    Is this from a Criminal Wanted Poster?

  159. 159
    A Maimed Badger says:

    One gets the feeling this painting has been Air Brushed and Enhanced.

  160. 160
    Hungry Hippocrite says:

    Can’t be Flabbopotamus.

    Where’s the tray of meat pies?

  161. 161
    Gary Glitter says:

    I’m not prepared to confirm or deny this.

  162. 162
    2112 says:

    Would you like a side-order of bullshit with that foam-flecked hyperbole?

  163. 163

    Reminds me, must watch Predator again.

  164. 164
    Blair is a gerrymandering liar. says:

    So it’ll be two burks together then.

  165. 165
    A pint of Abbott whale says:

    Dat man em White trash.

  166. 166
    A pint of Abbott whale says:

    Ye Gods, what was it like before???

  167. 167
    Working man says:

    White is a typical elitist Guardianista snob.

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