January 14th, 2014

Michael White on Guardian: “How Petty We Can Be”

Fearless exposer or political wrongdoing and campaigner on behalf of the public Michael White reckons revealing the cost of MPs’ vanity portraits is beneath a respectable publication:

Clearly he hasn’t seen the front page of his own paper this morning:


How petty. 


  1. 1
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    OMG….who is that racist bint in the photo?


  2. 2
    Ambrose Pilchard Evans says:

    Diand looks remarkably like a neanderthal


  3. 3
    Clown (Ex Swivel-Eyed Loon) says:

    The juxtaposition of the cover photos on the Telegraph yesterday was something to behold.


  4. 4
    Deed Pole. says:

    Maggie deserved her statue, Betty her picture. The rest – They should be placed at the bottom of lamp posts so dogs can p**s on them. And the pictures thrown away.


  5. 5
    M102 says:

    Lefty is a hypocrite shocker!


  6. 6
    Box Brownie says:

    You can’t ‘Photoshop’ an oil painting. pity!


    • 53

      But Rich and Mark do so every Monday…


      • 76
        Psyche the Dog says:

        Puss, he, she or it does try to draw those cartoons which everyone loves (to moan about)


        • 83

          Normally takes a photo as a base. Sometimes a painting.

          Good excuse for someone who is poor at drawing.

          Also lifts the cost:reward ratio.


          • FFS says:

            So basically, SC, you are saying that Rich can’t even trace properly?

            Now you see that’s where it’s all going wrong. When I was at school all we ever seemed to do was trace stuff. Now the kids are all using computers. What will we do when the NWO takes over all the computers eh? We will have to revert to tracing stuff to avoid detection but nobody will remember these old skills.


          • Can’t answer that one but have now discovered the reason why we had such a preponderance of Traceys a generation ago.

            Well, I didn’t have them, of course…



  7. 8
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    He’d be better employed fulfilling his duties as C.O. of the Walmington on Sea Home Guard.


  8. 9
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Front page of Guardian does look like a police e-fit for the missing link.

    Have heard of cold cases but that would be pushing it.


  9. 10
    Owen Jones says:

    How about one of me naked?


  10. 11
    UKIP or bust says:

    Why does he spell his name with a ‘W’ and not with an ‘S’?


  11. 12
    Lou Scannon says:

    We should insist on these portraits being as accurate and up-to-date as possible to assist in the identification of the mickey-takers come the revolution.


  12. 13
    Yo Reg says:

    Woz Reginald D Hunter doin’ on da front of da Guardian. He sure do lurve dat Thatcher bitch. Respect. Ya man.


  13. 14
    Cymro oddi ar y llinell says:

    The style is called A-level realism.


  14. 16
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Of course Michael White doesn’t read the Gurniad. Not many people do.


  15. 17
    Tony Blair says:

    From one butcher to another, I pay tribute to my friend Arik.


  16. 18
    Hypocrite says:

    How petty we can be

    How does he square that with Labour and The Guardian’s obsession with the cost of living crisis?


  17. 19
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:



  18. 21
    Silent Majority says:

    These MPs demand austerity and then commission portrait artists. If they cannot control their own costs, what hope can we have for the public sector as a whole?

    Why didn’t they invite art college students to have a go? Many would have done a better job.


  19. 26
    Randy Marsh says:

    Christ..! That’s fugly…!!! The ugliness of Abbott refects the ugliness in Whyte.


  20. 29
    nell says:

    My word MP’s are just totally untrustworthy, completely out of control and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near taxpayers money.

    First we had the expenses scandal and now we’ve got the portait scandal – whatever next!


  21. 31
    Fish says:

    In an effort to boost his plummeting approval ratings, Labour HQ are proposing the novel idea that Weird Ed has an affair with an attractive actress.

    To be seen as a ‘man about town’…’a lothario’…will, it is thought, boost his popularity amongst red blooded men and women up and down Britain.

    From a whole list of slebs, our Ed has shortlisted:

    Cathy Burke
    Cathy Burke
    Cathy Burke


  22. 32
    An angry taxpaying pleb says:

    Send the bills to the fuckers involved not me.


  23. 33
    Ms Abbott. says:

    Wait ’till I unveil my Lucian Freud portrait.


  24. 39
    albacore says:

    Good stuff! We need every possible interpretation
    Of all the worthies who have undermined our whole nation
    So that when, at long last, that great day of reckoning comes
    There’ll be no hiding place left for any one of the bums


  25. 42
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    I don’t mind telling you I’ve got a stiffy !


  26. 43
    Sick of Abbot says:

    That picture of Abbot just made me throw up over my cornflakes. I understand she has a child. Who on earth would want to breed with that manbearpighippo?


  27. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Yesterday The Torygraph published artist impressions of our ancestors under title – ` Meet the ancestors – best ever reconstruction of early humans’. Check it out!!


  28. 45
    Owen Jones says:

    The UK’s inflation rate, as measured by the Conservative led coalition, fell to a four-year low of 2% in December.


    • 55
      Mr Potato Head says:

      Cost of Miliband crisis.


    • 77
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      The whole of Europe has a ‘cost of government crisis’

      It’s time for a taxpayers revolt across Europe.


    • 96
      FFS says:

      Not printing enough money.


    • 103
      Psyche the Dog says:

      “as measured by the Conservative led coalition” It doesn’t matter which party is in power Owen, they all use various lengths of inch to suit their purpose, there are lies, damn lies, and what the government declares, it’s a bit like tractor stats, fairy tales.


  29. 47
    Frame her says:

    She looks like the missing link


  30. 54
    Ah! Monika says:

    Francois Hollande ‘spent nights with actress without security’ Telegraph

    Obviously out of les préservatifs


  31. 60
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Without protection? I always knew Johnny foreigners were not very popular.


  32. 62
    Renoir says:

    Blimey, that bint’s no oil pointing.


  33. 63
    Peter Martin says:

    Mr. White, pontificating upon high about pettiness and shooting himself in both feet again? Say it ain’t so.

    One look at his twitter feed shows that he is the soul of irony-appreciation, self-depreciation and humour as a rule.

    Though any tempted to point out this rather funny left hand/lefter hand discrepancy may need to brace themselves for one of his graceless, patronising comebacks.

    He’s a national treasure you know.


  34. 71
    Vazoline says:

    I believe the vast majority of my colleagues in the House will wish to commission a portrait of me.


  35. 95
    Cabbage says:

    It looks like Piltdown Man’s other ‘alf.


  36. 97
    john in cheshire says:

    Can we all have our portrait taken, at taxpayers’ expense?


  37. 100
    Ed the head says:

    I used to have a school book with a picture of a neanderthal in it, every time I see that Diane Abbot painting it reminds me of it. Hang that up above the fireplace and the kids will never go anywhere near it.


    • 109
      Fatbott is a Gauche Caviar cow. says:

      The same school books used to show Neanderthals half naked in the snow, trying to get a fire going to cook a dead mammoth.

      How about cannibalising the fatbott in this ludicrous portrait, instead of going to all th trouble of hunting mammoths


  38. 101
    Surr Nob Skelpoff says:

    No doubt what will happen after their mendacious and Nihilistic egos have been massaged, the paintings will disappear into some dark attic to gather dust. Otherwise, they would become a useful warning from the past…


  39. 106

    Who the fuck agreed to this waste of money on your Watch, Dave?

    You are supposed to be cutting Government expenditure. Remember?

    Come on you gormless tosser — what’s the answer?


  40. 112
    Anon. says:

    Now he thinks it’s ok for the BBC to spend money in the same way.



  41. 113
    C.O.Jones says:

    Free portraits are only available to politicians and convicted criminals.


  42. 117
    Jasmin Beckett's Dildo says:

    We’ve long had a tradition in this country of painting nobility for future generations to know who the great and the good of the day were, but when they start painting a jumped up gobby cleaner, things have gone too far


  43. 119
    martin Day says:

    She posed naked but the painter got confused as to which was her minge and which was her mouth, and got it wrong.


  44. 120
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    The fuckers just don’t get it do they. Why are we paying for pics of these worthless deadbeats? As for fattie’s pic- this is the stuff of nightmares.


  45. 122
    Poor Tom says:

    First’s I suppose that’s right IDS the first mass murderer in Parliament


  46. 136
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I tell you what ‘Sir’ Michael – you pay for the fucking pictures. It amazes me how the Guardian political team could include a decent bloke like Hoggart and a slug like White in harness.


  47. 139
    bogtrott says:

    god she could earn a fortune in a travelling circus,’come and look a pig with two ar ses’


  48. 140
    Cynic2 says:

    Imagine. Just imagine

    Its been a heavy night and you met this lovely looking woman. Next morning she says “Shit” and rolls out of bed in the half light and scoots to the bathroom. You wait outside for her to finish, then there’s a flush and the door opens to confront you with that vision of loveliness.


  49. 141
    Poor Tom says:

    Scoop……Andrew Bridgen on drugs, he has just stated on the Daily Politics show that you will not find a more decent human being than IDS…mass murderer of disabled british benefit claimants.


  50. 143
    Displaced Brummie says:

    It’s bad enough that Michael White has to write for the Guardian. It would be unfair to expect him to ready the damnable rag, too!


  51. 144
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Damn. Read, rather than ready. Oh, welly.


  52. 152
    jiltedjon says:

    Also from the Gurniad a report on a demo……….
    “Ahead of the second episode of Channel 4’s controversial documentary series Benefits Street…….yada yada yada……….. The Great British Bake Off (which Love Productions also makes). Pilgrim Tucker of the Unite union…….”

    Is this one of the famous trade union Pilgrims which so annoy Guido? If so why was she not at her civil service desk pretending to do some work? We should be told!


  53. 154
    Anonymous says:

    Is that painting of Diane Abbott by Chris Ofili? If so, it should be spritzed up by rolling it in glitter.


  54. 157
    Zackly Disease says:

    Face looks zackly like her arse!


  55. 158
    A Maimed Badger says:

    Is this from a Criminal Wanted Poster?


  56. 159
    A Maimed Badger says:

    One gets the feeling this painting has been Air Brushed and Enhanced.


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