January 13th, 2014

WATCH: Grand Mufti-Diver Sex Tape

The grand mufti of Kyrgyzstan, the highest Islamic authority in the country, has quit after a sex tape in which he stars was leaked online. Fun-loving cleric Rakhmatulla-Hajji Egemberdiev defended himself by arguing the woman in the video was simply his second wife. Very niiiice!


  1. 1
    3rd wife says:

    is a virgin

    • 7
      Borat says:

      His First, second and third wives are my fifth, sixth and tenth mistresses. David Blunkett keep your plonker out of this.

    • 62
      Darkie Donald says:

      Oi Guido, who gives a fuck who the r’agheads are fucking? Makes a change from northern chav teenage slags I suppose. Guido, we urge you to run a story about the portraits that the scum in Westminster are charging us for. Please, please, please go after the lump of useless thieving shit that is Diane Abbott for that horrendous picture she had done where she looks like Lenny Henry and charged us all £12K for it. Bring that fucking greedy cow down Mr Guido, please.

  2. 2
    Honour amongst says:

    Did the one who was being sucked off behind a Birmingham mosque the other day quit too?

  3. 3
    Mark Duggan RIP (Rot in piss) says:

    Well, to be fair, he’s only following his prophet’s example. Mo fucked his own daughter in law – yes, his son’s wife – and when caught, he said god spoke to him and commanded him to have sex with his daughter in law. His family, being simpletons, and the locals, also being simpletons, believed him. And muslims today, all being fucktarded simpletons, believe him. Inshallah.

  4. 4
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    He doesn’t even have a beard! What sort of Mufti is that?

  5. 5
    Sartorial Elegance says:

    At least she looks well groomed.

  6. 6
    MuffWatch says:

    No Mufftie too tuffty!

  7. 8
    Indy Owen Jones and the Temple of Broom says:
    • 9
      BBC Red Bottom says:

      Would you like to appear on all programs next week?

    • 12
      C.ANAL Street says:

      Owen you left your Industrial lubricant in one of our bars last week, along with your poppers.

    • 18
      The Real Working Class says:

      You’ll never really understand us Owen.

    • 30
      oldboy says:

      They’ll be the ex Labour voters.

    • 39
      Bill d'Sarse says:

      Whatever next. I seem to remember that was a major policy of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

      I don’t recall if that little socialist experiment was a success or not.

      • 93
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        The Owens of this world believe that Russian communism failed because there wasn’t enough of it. when the Looting Party are postal-voted in in 2015 you’ll see what he’s getting at.

      • 177
        Where Did the Moscow Gold Go? says:

        Opinion is divided as to the success of the Soviet Experiment. If you mean did it bring peace, prosperity and the growth of humane relations between peoples then no. If on the other hand did it create the ideal conditions for a corrupt elite to rob the entire population and then get them keep on paying whilst a new class of super rich and political megalomaniacs took over then without doubt an outstanding success.

    • 41
      sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says says:

      It shows how stupid UKIP voters are price controls on food no chance.

    • 55
      FFS says:

      This is from a poll ten weeks ago that showed much of UKIPs support is now flowing from disaffected Labour voters that haven’t voted for years.

    • 106
      Benefits Treet says:

      Owen is best ignored, like one of those pointless little yapping dogs

    • 175
      UKIP says:

      Well we are going for the white working class you spaz.

  8. 11
    A Maimed Badger says:

    so now we know where the saying ” Muf Diving ” came from

  9. 13
    Diane Abbott says:

    I’ve made a sex tape and if I’m not elected mayor of London I will release it.

  10. 14
    Grand Mufti Diver says:

    I will open a can of whoop ass on you Guido with a fatwa.

  11. 17
    Paniagua V5 says:

    Taxi for Rakhmatulla-Hajji Egemberdiev.

    To dr1ve that is.

  12. 19
    Owen Jones says:

    The UK should give this poor soul sanctuary.

    • 33
      Bilda Berger says:

      To which he will of course say …

      “Sanctuary much.”

    • 200
      (Rarely) Dangerous Brian says:

      Actually heard today that an Afghani has been given permanent leave to stay in the UK because he is an atheist, maybe he is following that bit of Shari’a that says its okay to lie to an infidel to get what you want. Just a thought.

  13. 22
    Ma­qbo­ul says:

    Kyrgystan, a little known place between Inner and Outer Labiastan.

  14. 23
    Jimmy says:

    It’s the biggest scandal to hit the country since a Countdown contestant asked for a vowel.

  15. 34
    john in cheshire says:

    The word depraved was invented for muslims

  16. 35
    Lateral Thought says:

    Now he is free, perhaps he can come and help with the fatwa’s on the UK’s obesity campaign.

  17. 38
    Anonymous says:

    he’s my kind of mullah – good lad!

  18. 45
    My Big Fat Scrounger on Crap4 & Eternally repeated on Bore4 says:

    Oh yuck!

  19. 46

    It stands to reason that all religions want to increase their penetration.

  20. 47
    RomaBob.... Beeg Issue, Beeg Issue! says:

    Wondering which passage Jack Dromey would be looking to wander up?

  21. 50
    fed-up in britain says:

    dirty muzzie bastard.

  22. 52
  23. 66
    Anon. says:


    What’s going on? What’s standing behind Abbott?

    Should this be held in parliament,why should the tax payer foot the bill?

    • 78
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      I thought that case had gone through the due process of law, do we now have to put up with kangaroo courts fronted by self-appointed publicity seekers and assorted shit stirrers.

      • 88
        Anonymous says:

        I note the subtle change in the meetings agenda. Yesterday it was how can. Jury find this way to now … Simply discuss the outcome

        Well outcome is cop shoots and eliminates gun toting druggie as a result strengthening the gene pool.

        • 119
          FFS says:

          Given that the cops were way too late and the fucker had reproduced 6 times it didn’t have much impact on the gene pool

          • Anonymous says:

            I still say his dad was reputed to have ” run ” manchester in the old days but gweeds won t allow it …..???

    • 79

      Didn’t recognise her for a moment on account of the fact that she has clothes on.

    • 89
      RomaBob.... Beeg Issue, Beeg Issue! says:

      Is it wrong to celebrate the death of a gangster? :)

      • 100
        Is-ray-al husbands, check that Tone hasn't done a wendi with your wives; he's in your area says:

        Preparation for when Blair et al shuffle off their mortal coils.

      • 102
        sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says says:

        No I had a few drinks in the Pennywell Inn on Saturday to celebrate the passing of Blessed Mark,no doubt the meeting will be about the campaign to canonise him.One thing for sure none of the 3 Sunderland MPs will b there they wouldnt dare.

    • 95
      JH2303409329-3423 says:

      Discuss it all you want love, all they really want to do is stimulate another full-scale chimp-out so they can get more flatscreens, trainers and laptops.

      Unlikely in this cold weather I’m afraid.

      • 142
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Don’t forget that the aftermath of the riots – were a huge “fee fest” for the legal fraternity all courtesy of … you guessed it the fucking public purse.

        Where there’s blame there’s a spinless law firm creaming it in the claim background saying ‘but Mr guilty you’ve had the benefit of legal aid’ … Not of course saying of course our law firm have banked another pay day!

        • 145
          Blowing Whistles says:

          p.s. at the last count (as I remember) the most prolific asbo offender gained their legal representatives 32 times a repeat fee!!!

          Litigation creation – its been their game. But don’t expect the msm to tell you that.

    • 109
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Notice the big container of liquidised food in front of Abbott.

    • 119
      Tom Catesby. says:

      Is that a member of the armed response unit behind Abbott?

    • 127
      Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

      We will be doing an in-depth coverage of this meeting, given its critical importance to the nation.

    • 137
      Nice salute to the crowd. The police would arrest anyone else says:
    • 172
      Saint V53 of Tottenham. says:

      Oi, Fatbot, the outcome is that he’s dead.

  24. 72
    Agenda says:

    Question one: was he a cùnt?

  25. 76
    They're all the same says:

    • 86
      A flying seagull says:

      I have heard some bollocks in my time but 2014 promises to be a vintage year.

      If you go to Oldham Rochdale Burnley there are loads of empty houses going cheap.

      You won’t have to save up for 20 years to buy one of these.

      FFS !

      • 143
        Anonymous says:

        yeah …. but who the hell wants to live in rochdale oldham or burnley specifically in the areas where cheap housing abounds in all probability because of its concomitant manifestation of drugs , violence , burglary , robbery , intimidation , gang culture culture et al …… AND …. nothing remotely representing a half decent job.

        • 191
          Afrocutter says:

          These cheap as shit mansions are being advertised as THE place to live all over the middle and far east.

  26. 80
    a soon to be ex President says:

    Why isn’t he wearing a helmet ?

  27. 83
    I did not vote for this EU muppet says:

    Britain is ‘emotional and misguided’ over immigration, says EU commissioner
    Senior EU figure says the lack of an influx from Romania and Bulgaria shows that arguments should be based on fact


    • 85
      Fuck the EU says:

      No we are not.

    • 91
      RomaBob.... Beeg Issue, Beeg Issue! says:

      I love you all…. thank your for the mutual benefits :)

    • 111
      Nothing to fear BUT fear itself says:

      They’re running scared…they are losing the argument and know that if the British people get a chance to vote we will exit the EU and bring the whole rotten house down arounf their heads…no more gravy train for the euro-elite

    • 146
      Blowing Whistles says:

      That thing you said about ‘arguments should be based on fact’

      Tell the liblabcon, every past and present Minister, fucking al gore and all them deluded moneygrubbing scientists … oh and them unelected lying commie bastards in the EU.

  28. 97
    Koba says:

    Doesn’t something get cut off now?

  29. 98
  30. 121
    pork scratchings says:

    Goes to show that,

    a) Religionists love that which they publicly abhor.

    b) Same for socialists in regard to money.

  31. 124
    RetardEd says:

    Watch out for my cameo in Benefit Street tonight. Love to show my support for salt-of-the-earth Labour voters.

  32. 135
    Ian Smith says:

    Universal Credit will be delivered on time and on budget.

  33. 138
    Molly Coddle says:

    I nearly fell off my chair when I read this!!!
    The guy barely even criticises Lee Rigby’s scumbag killers

    BBC News – Armed forces imam: UK ‘not at war with Islam’

    This country needs more than a shake up, that’s for sure

  34. 144
    sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says says:

    I always thought that there was an unwritten rule in Westminster that MPs didnt try to represent contituents that wernt theres,do the Duggans live in Hackney and Shoreditch or Tottenham,Lammy clearly steering clear of this lot.

    • 163
      FFS says:

      Well, this is a report in the Guardian and even they seem pretty convinced he was a nasty bit of work that simply had been caught red-handed yet. Lammy will know full well what this guy was about. God knows why Fatbot isn’t backing away from them. Maybe there are people in Labour that want to see the back of her and her embarrassing gob and have pushed her to get involved. She’s too stupid to see the mistake she’s making.


  35. 147
    Anonymous says:

    Latest Guardian poll gives Libdems 14% – 4% ahead of UKIP. No comments allowed. I wonder why.

  36. 150

    French economic competence does not stick out a mile. In fact, with M Hollande, it barely sticks out two inches.

  37. 154
        Magnificat anima mea Dominum,
        et exsultavit spiritus meus in Deo salvatore meo,
        quia respexit humilitatem ancillae suae.
        Ecce enim ex hoc beatam me dicent omnes generationes,
        quia fecit mihi magna,
        qui potens est,
        et sanctum nomen eius,
        et misericordia eius in progenies et progenies
        timentibus eum.
        Fecit potentiam in brachio suo,
        dispersit superbos mente cordis sui;
        deposuit potentes de sede
        et exaltavit humiles;
        esurientes implevit bonis
        et divites dimisit inanes.
        Suscepit Israel puerum suum,
        recordatus misericordiae,
        sicut locutus est ad patres nostros,
        Abraham et semini eius in saecula

    Sang this at Central Hall, Westminster c1964.

  38. 164
    Martin Luther (and am I fucking pissed off) says:

    Pope Francis baptises baby of unmarried couple in Sistine Chapel in Vatican.

    Ninety-Five Fucking Theses and we end up with this, FFS?

    • 179
      It's a fact says:

      Baptising babies to admit them to the Kingdom of God is nonsense anyway, married parents or not.

      Baptism in the NT is ALWAYS of a believer in Christ, a public declaration of allegiance to Him and a shunning of sin and evil.

      Babies cannot confess Christ, nor exercise faith.

      It’s a money making scam and a sick method of decieving people into thinking that a man in a dress can get you into heaven, whether you want to or not, by chanting mumbo-jumbo and sprinkling magic water. 200 quid please, ta very much.

    • 202
      CYNICAL OLD GIT says:


  39. 180
    Displaced Brummie says:

    One ‘man’ and his twat hat.

Seen Elsewhere

Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun
City Minister’s Inheritance Tax Dodging Trusts | Indy
What I Would Have Done if I was Sarah Wollaston | Iain Dale
Boris is an Epic Europhile | Louise Mensch
Warsi Got PM to Confront “Secular Fundamentalism” | Fraser Nelson
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads