January 13th, 2014

The Detective of Baker Street

Has Norman Baker given up on his mad Dr David Kelly conspiracy theories? Guido hears that the loopy Home Office Minister has a new bugbear now he is in government. As revealed in yesterday’s Sun, Baker’s request for an extensive briefing by officials on the locations of the police and the exact angles of the bullets that killed gangster Mark Duggan were politely rebuffed last week, given that they were trying to prepare him for his appearance on Question TimeIs he planning another book?


  1. 1
    retardEd Miliband says:



    • 6
      Blowing Bubbles says:

      Why is the name D r D a v i d K e l l y blocked on this blog/website?


      • 8
        Here today, duggone tomorrow says:

        Because some mischievous scamps have previously alleged that a certain Teflon fellow and his manic depressive buddy were responsible for his demise, which is, of course, totally outrageous, as everyone knows Teflon is an honest, straight sorta guy.


        • 20
          Casual Observer 5 says:

          There is a difference between being responsible and authorizing.

          At least there is in the minds of some people.


          • Did Blair say: Will no one rid me of this turbulent weapons expert?, then?


          • guido fawkes is the number one website says:

            to escape the question…. mood or music
            just say my name and that’s why.

            the itch to have a skin came first.
            it’s a cover. no prop n burger.

            no knee caps no tigress river of bloods speech.
            no remote, no control.

            scream easy.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Norman’s book was a ‘fairy tale’.

            Norman has covered up lot’s of dirt to do with network rail – ‘lots of it’.

            And Stephen Byers ex MP knows lots about it all as well.


        • 82
          Lord Stansted says:

          I have sometimes thought that Norman Baker was B£iar’s best friend. What better way to divert attention from B£iar’s throwing the name of Dr. K to the media than to write a nonsense book. The real cause of the Dr’s death was the Blood on their hand’s team of No. 10.


          • Carole Caplin says:

            But the Blessed Tony is the fount of all that is pure and good in the world. His goodness spouts into every crevice.


    • 12
      Mitch says:

      Any Police and Judicial process should be independent of ministers. That is a fundamental principle of our system of government.

      What did Baker think he was going to do with this information, exactly?


    • 32
      A Tory but voying UKIP until Cameron goes says:

      I actually like Norman Baker. A bit of an eccentric but the world is better for such people and he had a successful career outside of politics.


  2. 2
    Virginia Bottomley says:

    I refute all allegations about to be made as does my husband.


  3. 3
    Here today, duggone tomorrow says:

    It was the third guy on the grassy knoll what done it.


  4. 4
    The Magic Bullet Theory says:

    Back, and to the left… back, and to the left… back, and to the left.


  5. 5
    Hugh Janus says:

    Obviously too much time on his hands.

    And the fact that he’s a prat.


  6. 7
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Perhaps the logic of employing a Canadian contracting firm to produce US healthcare software was flawed from the outset given that Canada stands to lose the most from such a system being set up in the US successfully.

    Canada it should be noted has zero reputation for goods of any particular quality beyond fertilizer and maple syrup. They have a workforce which has been deskilled further than that in the UK and are of a criminal disposition when it comes to claiming fees and not delivering.

    Seems that the p’aedophile allegations in Canada surrounding HRH are being dragged up again elsewhere. Those are bullshit of course, but there is a significant and state supported problem with p’aedophile activity in that country.

    It was not that long ago that the age on consent in Canada was just 14.

    As for Norman Baker: Why has that idiot been put in the Home Office other than to irritate Theresa May ? There is no political point in keeping the Lib Dems on side – call an election tomorrow – they would be wiped out.


    • 30
      Ma­qbo­ul says:

      I suspect it was not the fault of the IT contractor but extremely piss poor project management by the Obama administration: not properly briefing the contractor, not understanding what the contractor is doing, poor communication and capricious changing of the scope. Seen it so many times in IT projects. Nobody dares to admit the chaos until it is too late.

      IDS will be in the same boat.


    • 78
      FFS says:

      The real problem with obamacare is it is insurance based and voluntary to enter. Turns out only sick people want to pay up to enter the system. That’s not really very good for an insurance based system. You need a mix. Basically it looks like it is fucked.


    • 91
      CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

      Just another fuck up in the glorious history of government software, nowhere is immune look at our own foul ups MOD, BBC,NHS, NOTHING NEW HERE!


  7. 9
    Tony Blair says:

    Thanks for this Guido…I’ll send your cheque in the post!

    Just don’t let Rupert know anything about it ;)


  8. 11
    Brrrrrrrrrrrap! says:


    • 98
      You expect me to be honest? hahahahahahahaha says:

      In fairness to Lammy, he is a politician and so has politicians’ principles, one of which is to be duplicitous in responses.


  9. 14

    I believe it’s the case that no one has ever been shot live on Question Time, yet. Is that true?

    (OK that could been shot dead live, but… etc.)


    • 19
      Casual Observer 5 says:

      Question Time is recorded – not live.

      Maybe do something on their twitter feed ?

      @BBCQTMONG: Bang Bang ! Fuck You ! LOLS

      But knowing the Baby Banger Corp, even their Twitter stuff is probably pre-recorded…


      • 21

        So my statement is correct on multiple levels? :-)

        So far. :-D


        • 75
          Jack Ketch says:

          Dear Mr Cat,
          I have been struggling with your quantum mechanics thing. I have read everything on Wikipedophilia and get the gist about photons going through slits and gas bottles in boxes and the important role of The Observer (although why not the Guardian, I do not understand).
          What I get out of it is that all politicians are telling the truth, unless someone actually observes their actions, at which point they are all telling lies. This is called “getting caught”. However, there is a moment when all politicians are both telling lies and telling the truth at the same time—this is called a policy statement.
          Am I right?


          • John Smith says:

            For God’s sake don’t encourage him.


          • Lord Stansted says:

            The formalism of QM is much richer than is relevant for experimental prediction. The same may be the case of the House of Cs.


          • Taking your points in random order:

            The Grauniad – why not in there? It is a black hole into which everything goes beyond our knowledge and ability to access. Bit like the EU regional grants system really. It probably exists but in another parallel (or not) universe.

            From my perspective, I do not see any politicians telling the truth – unless you mean their truth. Selective and subjective. Relative, you might say (or not).

            A policy statement is clearly an oxymoron as modern policy is broadly based to the point of contradiction (and beyond, or not) whereas a statement is a declarative sentence requiring some precision (which may be true or false).

            I might direct you towards Hegel who wrote thousands of pages pointing this out (or not)… as the case may be (or not).

            In closing, it may be necessary for me to point out once again that I am not, nor have I ever been, Erwin Schrödinger, merely his blasted cat (or not).


      • 26
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        Just got the subtle point. Sorry – still dealing with bikini clad Tess Jowell imagery… :-) Time to de-mong…


  10. 16
    Diane Abbot. says:

    Explain this to me.

    Mark Duggan steps out of a taxi with a mobile phone and gets shot twice.

    Sherlock shoots a guy in broad daylight, with several witnesses whilst surrounded by armed police. Private Jet and a holiday at taxpayers expense.

    One rule for them, eh!


  11. 17
    Brrrrrrrrrrrap! says:


  12. 23
    A dick says:

    Ludicrous Green Party fool being indulged on BBc News as they try to assist the anti cracking lobby in Manchester.


  13. 24
    Wait - what! says:

    Surprised and disappointed by your stance on this Fawkes.


  14. 27
    An Oldie But A Goodie says:

    Small-town Texas police chief and his dr!ver-sergeant called to the scene of the discovery of the body of a dead Mexican stranger in town; the body shows bullet wounds, stab wounds, and a caved-in skull:

    Chief: “Put it down to ‘Death by Natural Causes,’ son.”
    Copper: “Yeah, right–‘natural causes,’ boss?”
    Chief: “Son, you have all that shit done to you, it’s just gonna naturally cause you to die!”


  15. 29
    A dick says:



  16. 34
    So what was the naughty word? says:



  17. 35
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Now should we frack for cheap gas or depend on buying it from the Russians who have just negotiated a deal to sell their gas to China? As someone living under a frackable site I say get fracking. Keeping the cost of living down depends on cheap energy.


  18. 40
    Graham says:

    His ideas about the death of David Kelly are not mad. For years I and many others have been supporting a campaign for a full legal review which has constantly been denied. Why?


  19. 41
    Take that righties says:


    • 46
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Imagine no Owen Jones.


      • 80
        FFS says:

        Iamgine it wasn’t focussed on lesbian outreach workers, giving taxpayer cash to the Indian space programme, paying for IT projects that never work, paying for interest on government bonds the government should never have issued in the first place etc etc etc


        • 105
          Twat Watch says:

          I just wish Owen Jones would emmigrate, but then, he knows he wouldn’t get away with living off the backs of others quite so easily.


      • 110
        Village Idiot says:

        …Imagine that 1997-2010 never happened!!! ….ooo..aahhhhhhhh…bliss


    • 48
      Owen totally loses it says:

      Erm…what we do about immigrants and the unemployed does directly affect wages, jobs and housing??


    • 50
      Winston says:

      The leftie c**t won’t see the irony in that statement. Unemployment, wages and housing are linked to mass immigration!


    • 57
      Ma­qbo­ul says:

      You can see why UKIP are making inroads into traditional Labour working class votes. The middle class dilettantes who make up the Labour Party hierarchy represent two groups: the metropolitan chattering classes and the workshy underclass.


    • 68
      Nigel says:

      Imagine what kicking out 2 million feckless immigrants would do for wages, jobs, housing, NHS, schools, transport, crime…


    • 69
      Schoolbay at large thinking he's great says:

      Your friends in Liebour were in for 13 years, now how they get on sorting out wages and housing and not kicking the unemployed and immigrants, mmmm very difficult that one,.


    • 102
      Thanks Ch4 for showing it like it is says:

      Already written your piece about tonight’s ‘Benefit Street’ Owen?


    • 114
      The most amusing claim ever says:

      Very true Owen…pity Labour didn’t do it in the 13 years they were in power or perhaps Blair was too busy thinking of the places he could invade instead ?


  20. 45
    Do your fucking job, police says:

    Enough of this tolerating the protesting twats disrupting the vehicles at the fracking sites.


    • 70
      Anonymous says:

      Fucking BBC. The protesters would be camped somewhere in Wood Green if the BBC hadn’t moved to Salford


  21. 47
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Are labour capable of making a decision?


  22. 49
    Anonymous says:

    everything is black and white there is no grey,i am not medically qualified to make a judgement so who would you trust John Scurr, Consultant Vascular Surgeon or some of the misinformed arseholes on this blog.


    • 124
      Blair is a gerrymandering liar. says:

      I don’t trust officialdom when they decline to hold a proper Coroner’s inquest and then ban publication of all documents for 60 (or thereabouts) years. Surely those two points alone must raise suspicion of a cover up – even to someone named Anonymous!


  23. 54

    Valérie Trierweiler is “ready to forgive” François Hollande for having a secret affair with Julie Gayet, a 41-year old actress, but only if she receives “clarification” about his intentions…

    He wanted a fuck?


    • 58
      Ma­qbo­ul says:

      Clarification, a decision? From a polictician?

      “Eeets ‘ard” as the actress said to the President.


      • 64

        Mr Speaker.

        Let me start by placing squarely before the House of Commons and the British public the situation facing our country.

        I have just fucked all their wives…

        Nah! The boy’s not up to it.


    • 65
      Hollande says:

      I only ever used my face on Julie, and I never knowingly had sex with that woman (or inhaled)

      you Rost Biff bastard


    • 83
      FFS says:

      What does she mean “secret affair”????

      Is she referring to the secret affair that the entire population of Europe know about?

      Wow, that’s some secret. At least she can console herself that he was discrete about it and hasn’t humiliated her in front of 370million people.


      • 92
        John Smith says:

        Ask Valerie if she thinks a politicians private life is his own affair.


        • 101
          Airey Belvoir says:

          Valerie T is yet another mistress who has amnesia about how she hoooked up with the portly M Hollande while he was still with Mlle Royale, the mother of his children. Why is she surprised and shocked when history repeats itself?


  24. 55
    bergen says:

    Whatever his conclusions, any MP who called out the Hutton Report for being a bucket of whitewash can’t be all bad.

    Hutton’s attitude still astounds me- any government evidence was true unless proved to be false and any other evidence was false unless proved to be true. No wonder Cherie autographed her copy.


    • 88
      Lord Hutton of the Reliable Cover-Up says:

      Sunday, Bloody Sunday,
      Sunday, Bloody Sunday,


    • 119
      Blowing Whistles says:

      And no “testimonmy” was given under oath – whatsoever. =’s State cover up.

      Judiciary independent of government – your havin a fucking laugh officers MET TVP et al.


  25. 56
    RSVP Gangsters says:

    Abbott has removed her Tweet about holding a Duggan verdict meeting tonight at the HoC. Has the meeting been banned?


  26. 60
  27. 74
    Fuck him says:

    Judging by the fact that Duggan is dead I would say that the angle of the bullets were spot on.
    They should really be enquiring why the two fuckers who killed Lee Rigby are still alive despite being shot three times each.
    Have the Police changed their ammo or something?
    Wouldn’t be surprised be honest.
    The Met wouldn’t want to upset ‘the community’ again after that last lot of rioting.


    • 89
      Misogynist Joe says:

      The armed officer who shot at least one of Lee Rigby’s killers was a woman. It’s like parking a car.


      • 104
        Polly Toynbee says:

        Bullets are just a representation of the male phallus, and as such are an affront to hard working wimmin folk.


      • 112
        Rhubarb says:

        Deliberately aimed so as not to make him/them martyrs who died for the cause in the eyes of his fellow muzzies, nor to be accused of suicide by cop.

        Hope he rots in jail for the next 70 years and has big Bertha as his cell mate.


        • 116
          CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

          Impossible to aim to wound ,nobody ever does that ,when shooting the training is always shoot to kill, the problem here seems to be that the police are being armed with pop guns .


    • 117
      carlo gambino says:

      aimed for the legs innit.

      social cohesion and all that.


  28. 85
    Good news for a change says:

    I’d like to volunteer to skin him alive.

    April Jones’ killer Mark Bridger has dropped his application for permission to appeal against his whole-life sentence.

    The Judicial Office confirmed in a tweet that Bridger, 47, had abandoned his attempt 11 days before a hearing was due to take place.

    Bridger was convicted of murdering five-year-old April, from Machynlleth, Powys, last May.


  29. 87
    In vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui says:

    Every time I come back to this website it makes me realise that nothing much has changed for at least 2000 years..



  30. 93
    Michael Gove says:

    I would like to introduce an A-Level in Socialism


  31. 94
    Michael Gove says:

    I would like to introduce an A-Level in Socialism.


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