January 13th, 2014

Penny Phwoar-daunt

Penny’s first dive will be on ITV on Saturday at 7pm. Guido will be tuning in…


168 Comments

  1. 1
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Thighs just like yours Guido.

  2. 2
    Ghost of Jimmy.S says:

    Now then – now then…

  3. 4
    Muff Diver says:

    Why is it Called Splash?

  4. 5
    Call Me Dave says:

    Is bracing himself for the camel toe cliches

  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Where has her right leg gone under the water?

  6. 7
    Anonymous says:

    milf

  7. 8
    Diane Fartbott says:

    Why didn’t they ask me?

  8. 12
    Ah! Monika says:

    Let’s have a look again when / if she resurfaces

  9. 13
    Thunder Thighs says:

    What’s she going to do when Eric Pickles wants his legs back?

  10. 14
    Ian Smith says:

    Universal Credit will be delivered on time and on budget.

  11. 17
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Essential viewing especally with Ukip planning a protest beforehand.

  12. 24
    Victoria Meldrew says:

    Tony Blair delivering a eulogy about peace: satire is now officially dead.

  13. 25
    Surr Nob Skelpoff says:

    She’ll not go down with the fans of Splash who want to look at Tom in his budgie smugglers.

  14. 27
    Bumwatch says:

    To change the thread for a sec. Turned on the radio this weekend and Glen Glen Greenwald was holding forth, it was pretty amazing he just opens his mouth and non stop crap comes pouring out without taking a breath. The upshot is that he is holed up in Brazil hiding between his boyfriends buttocks, too scared to go back to the States in case he is arrested.

  15. 28
    Breaking News says:

    Penny Mordaunt has jumped into a swimming pool.

    In other news, residents living near a swimming pool were evacuated to emergency shelters after their homes were unexpectedly flooded today.

    • 128
      Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

      In other news the ship yard workers in Portsmouth will still lose their jobs and she will lose her seat at the next election

  16. 31
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    I always thought that Handycock was the expert at ducking and diving :-)

  17. 31
    Mitch says:

    Fair do’s to her, she’s braver than most women, which itself is attractive.

    • 90
      Gordon Clown says:

      I know all about bravery, I even wrote a book about it.

      • 143
        broderick crawford says:

        In tandem with one if his recently deceased political contemporaries today, it can be confirmed that a Mr G Brown entered a deep non resuscitating coma in 1997 . During the periid 1997 -2010 he underwent electrical impulse experiences in unsuccessful attempts by medical staff to re awaken him but to no avail . It was during this period that the monitored cerebral cortex activity manifested his having a continuous series of dreams during which he assumed the roles of Chancellor of tbe Exchequer and Prime Minister respectively .

        Since May 2010 he has furher regressed and is now believed to be living a hermit – like existence inside his alter ego in Fife.

  18. 34
    FFS says:

    There’s a woman on Sky news saying she will do anything to stop fracking. I thought “Less fibre in your diet maybe?”

  19. 36
    Julian the Wonderhorse says:

    Does that make her a Tory Wet? Boom boom!

  20. 38
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Wow. She’s hot. And cute.

    • 46
      Specsavers says:

      Cute? Kittens are cute. A young Kate Bush is cute. Penny is cute in the same way Eric Pickles is cute.

      • 103
        Displaced Brummie says:

        You fancy Eric Pickles? Oh, well. Each to their own.

      • 113
        John Ketch says:

        You mimic the rancid little pouf who was on Sky Breakfast discussing today’s newspapers. Miss Morduant deserves our attention–you lot have Chris Bryant.

  21. 41
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Penny ith diving too far, too fatht.

  22. 44
    TOM GAYLEY says:

    It’s just a photo ! Does nothing for me

  23. 45
    Galileo says:

    Hard to believe. But if She and Tom jumped off the 30 foot board together they would both reach the water at the same time.

    • 49
      Sir Isaac Newton says:

      Not if she stopped off to eat some more pies on the way down,

    • 68
      Political Physics says:

      But if she and Dave jumped off the 30 foot board together, then Dave would need a trip to hospital and she would win the higher majority.

  24. 47
    Ippikin says:

    Hello

  25. 48
    FRANCOIS HOLLANDE says:

    I would , how you say “Dive it “

    • 110
      Cinna says:

      Sky, skin or muff?

      • 146
        broderick crawford says:

        what is it with hollande and fascinating /attractive women .. how does he pull so effectively ??

        he s had at least one wife and several girlfriends , acquaintances and
        “partners” yet looks like herman van rumpsteaks cousin !!!

        Do they all feel the need to mother him ?

    • 167
      Roy Thompson says:

      Wouldn’t your helmet get in the way?

  26. 53
    Miss Use(less) of Parlianent says:
    • 56
      Abbotts Newsnight says:

      MP’s should not question the outcomes of jury decisions

      • 64
        She is a racist and a shit stirrer says:

        Abbott actually said live on “This week” that Law makers should never call into doubt the verdict of a Jury.

        I guess this rule does not apply when she is seeking maximum publicity in her attempt to be nominated as the Labour London Mayor candidate.

        • 72
          Casual Observer 5 says:

          John Hemming was recommending parents who have a problem with social services go abroad rather than deal with the family courts in the UK because those courts are thoroughly corrupt.

          Not to break thread, but there seems to be a theme here.

          Agree with John, but are Labour trying to sow seeds of doubt because they are likely to be prosecuted for war crimes re !raq, at long last ?

        • 76
          Rhubarb says:

          Labour London Mayor? More like Labour London Mare. If she wins where will Londoners go to get out from under? It will be a great weight to bear.

      • 67
        Diane Abbottomasbigasthemoon says:

        I ignore my own dictums when they become inconvenient to me.

        • 73
          Mornington Crescent says:

          You’re too far up your own dictum, dear.

          • broderick crawford says:

            That s why she sends her child to private (“public” ) school and when exhaustively pressed by Brillo on the matter on a quasi -weekly basis she goes into her “Andrew I have no further comment to make on that matter ……” syndrome .

      • 77
        CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

        Unless it is to reverse a not guilty verdict and canonise the drug dealing ‘ Victim ‘ and elevate his publicity hungry mother to the house of Lords

    • 61
      Diane Fartbott says:

      I’m baffled!

    • 75
      Leopards.... Spots says:

      Who is paying for the r1ce and peas

    • 86
      Leopards.... Spots says:

      If only the Kray twins were still alive we could set up a gang war in the BOOTHROYD ROOM.

      Betty would turn in her grave ( if she was dead )

    • 120
      Abbott tries to delete the internet says:

      She has now deleted this Tweet. Hope you have a screenshot Guido.

  27. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Balls / Alexander bust up still not reported by the BBC

    Now if that were two Tories etc etc etc

    • 94
      The BBC, the most unbiased news organisation in the Universe says:

      There are three reasons for this…

      1. It involves Ed Balls

      2. It involves Wee Dougie

      3. Their argument was about the EU

      • 148
        broderick crawford says:

        OFF THREAD I KNOW BUT …

        why are twitter blocking the political blogs/videos of john ward of THE SLOG website ? he is a right winger but no more or less so than pat condell who is allowed on guido regularly .

        john ward can still be found either at the slog website or on youtube who have not banned him yet but possibly search it under his middle name of anthony ward which he says he has begun using in an effort to thwart the twitterati praetorian guard .

  28. 55
    DR Death says:

    Not bad for a fat lass….

  29. 58
    Gashwatch says:

    She looks like you’d have to roll her in flour to find the wet parts.

  30. 60
    Michel-Francois Hollandycoque says:

    Been there done her.

    Boaz.

  31. 62
    Leopards.... Spots says:

    Some Black MPs never change

  32. 66
    There's a first says:

    Sexier with her clothes on!

  33. 78
    What is the purpose of Ken Clarke? says:

    foreigners make the UK “far more exciting and healthier”.

    Yeah, it’s exciting and healthy to run after the Romanian who’s just nicked your wallet.

  34. 79
    Village Idiot says:

    …..No one has mentioned, “Muff Diving”,…or is that tone lowering on this wondrous site?

    • 93
      Rhubarb says:

      Is Muffin the Mule still illegal? Or can it now be shown on all channels before the watershed?

    • 137
      Das Boot says:

      No muff’s too tough. We dive at five.

    • 151
      broderick crawford says:

      Yes village idiot we do believe use of such phrasing lowers the tone .

      Suggest you moderate your language by referring to the practice as slow oral erosion of a particularly receptive loose floorcovering.

  35. 80
    Michael Gove says:

    I want kids to learn an important language at school, such as Mexican, Brazilian or South African.

    • 83
      Sheikh Basha Banka says:

      Perhaps you should concentrate on getting them to speak English first.

      • 89
        Modern Language Teacher says:

        I would like to point out the practical difficulties encountered explaining the grammatical structure of a foreign language to children who have no understanding whatsoever of the grammatical structure of their mother tongue.

        You may as well keep your money in your pocket .

    • 116
      John Bellingham says:

      The subject at hand is Penny Morduant in a swimsuit. A Brazilian is self explanatory, a Mexican one can work out–something to do with waves, but what is a South African? Shaved like Zuma? Stumped like Pistorius? Talks like Peter Hain? Looks like Mandela?

  36. 81
    Sheikh Basha Banka says:

    So today bank leverage ratios have been quietly relaxed yet not a word here or more than a squeak in the mass media.

    What goes around comes around.

    Lets all get back on the gravy train!

    Light touch regulation of Financial Services will be back by June.

  37. 85
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  38. 92
    john mackie says:

    Fat. Untoned. Obese. Ugly.

    A typical middle aged English woman.

  39. 97
    One Biddiecombe says:

    Does all Tory Totty go to the swimming baths in badly fitting gaudy one piece swimsuits and nail varnish ?

  40. 109
    • 115
      Fish says:

      The kids are at last getting a good education. Cheap at half the price.

      • 118
        The Headmaster says:

        And my brother’s building firm has got a nice little contract for the school renovation project.

        Have you met my niece? She is the Art teacher.

    • 168
      Dilip Dutta says:

      We don’t want anything from the Grauniad, thank you. Anyway, the BBC have bought the rights to all Grauniad nonsense.

  41. 114
    Johnny Norfolk says:

    She should win the depth charge competion.

  42. 122
    Elysee Palace says:

    Night time address s’il vous plait, mercie.

  43. 125
    Jasmin Beckett's Dildo says:

    Penny will be demonstrating Labour’s Economic plan, through the medium of the bellyflop

  44. 130
    ss says:

    Penny do not swim anywhere near Japan, you will get harpooned and end up going slow motion round a sushi bar.

  45. 133
    Magnolia says:

    She is a brave woman.
    That swimsuit is doing nothing to enhance her beauty.
    It is much too large for her, has inadequate support in the breast and abdominal areas and it should be of a large patterned fabric to break up her silhouette or in just a plain dark coloured fabric such as black or navy blue.
    She could easily ‘lose’ a stone in a better cosi.
    She should have ensured that photos included all of her leg length as well.

  46. 134
    Fahrenheit says:

    Personally I think it’s nice to see a woman not afraid to show off her curves in a swimsuit, even if she is an MP.

  47. 135
    mellors says:

    Shes a reet big lass,her mound of venus must be as big as Vesuvius.

  48. 138
    A Maimed Badger says:

    Which part of her body will hit the water first, that is the question

  49. 142
    GuntWatch says:

    Gunt or FUPA….you decide.

  50. 153
    Nemesis says:

    Penny Phwoar-daunt: Are you joking? I’ve seen better legs in a butcher’s shop. Way too heavy for my liking.

  51. 155
    Dr Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve never heard of the fat tart. But she’s got legs like Sarah’s.

    No more bum and bust.

  52. 158
    Nelsonsgoodeye says:

    Pics like that make me think that maybe burkas aren’t such a bad idea after all!

  53. 159
    Tongue-tied says:

    If she wore a knife-belt and you half-closed your eyes you could imagine Ursula Andress emerging from the waves in Doctor No.

  54. 160
    Headmaster says:

    A proper curvy woman. Those who criticise her appearance are presumably homosexualists. Why isn’t Esther Mcvey on this programme>

  55. 164
    fed-up in britain says:

    very heavy .Not something to attempt best to stick to the day job. But she gets 10/10 for sheer bloody nerve.W HAT A PORKER.


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What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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