January 8th, 2014

PMQs Live Chat: Boring Snoring Edition

Comments in the comments please…


125 Comments

  1. 1
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP

  2. 2
    Jasmin Beckett says:

    I want everyone who disagrees with me dead.

  3. 3
    Compare G'oggins with Cameron says:

    Dave to Michael Meacher: Are you on drugs ?

  4. 5
    A Toggle and Two says:

    Ed Miliband. A prick between two balls

  5. 6
    Spot the Ball says:

    Where’s Harman ?

  6. 7
    Mitch says:

    5 soldiers died in separate incidents but 90% of the guff from the Commons is about an MP!

    • 78
      walking into darkness says:

      and the BBC headline is that Thomas Hitzlberger whoever he is has come out as gay. Beam me up Scotty

      • 122
        (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

        You mean that racing driver one is off the front page?
        Has he got better then?

  7. 8
    YUK YUK YUK says:

    After some excellent tributes to PG Ed Miliband’s well rehearsed effort was ridiculously syrupy

    • 125
      Suzie says:

      Yes I thought I was going to be sick. Or was that because the idiots must have decided to be nice to each other. Maybe they are all going to join together into one big party in the hope of getting rid of UKIP.

  8. 9
    Reader says:

    Mr Goggins sounds like he was a marvel. I’d only hear about him one or two days ago.

  9. 12
    Can't help noticing says:

    Mrs Balls is not wearing well

    • 18
      Reader says:

      She’s been spending too much time with her family

    • 71
      Edna in Clapham says:

      She looks ill, old and full of anger and hatred.

      She can’t be happy – but then I don’t know a leftie who is. Nasty bunch of social misfits.

      Who was it who said “socialism is a psychological illness”? They hit the nail on the head there.

      • 87
        Rightwinggit says:

        Unless someone emailed her the “for you” vid from Jasmine as I suggested…

  10. 14
    Point of Information says:

    Didn’t the locals tell Dave to sling his hook when he went down to Kent to look at the wet carpets.

    And is not most of the flooding happening on known flood planes, and around rivers which the EA cannot be arsed to clear the silt from ?

    • 20
      Long John Silver's parrot says:

      What ?
      State Officials ?
      Cannot be arsed ?

      Surely some mistake here .

    • 21
      Mitch says:

      Inadequate dredging is indeed a big problem. That’s a lesson we did learn and then promptly forgot.

    • 23
      A Mystery says:

      It is a complete mystery why the EA won’t dredge rivers. It is cheap and was always done in the past and it works. Perhaps they prefer vanity high cost, high visibility flood prevention schemes?

      • 26
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        Perhaps spending too much time and budget on diversity bollocks.

      • 30
        Lateral Thought says:

        Perhaps increasing flood risk is a good way of increasing insurance premiums for flood coverage. Any VI’s in the insurance industry involved here ?

        • 55
          Man in a Box says:

          Insurers hate floods and will have caught a massive cold as a result of recent (and continuing) weather events.

      • 77
        Flooding the market says:

        You could also ask why local councils also don’t clear drains or gullies

        A lot of the flooding in our town centre over xmas/new year was a result of drains and gullies not being regularly cleared of rubbish, weeds etc NOT river overflows. Accepted that the flow of the water from rains may have overwhelmed the drainage system but if they were clear to start with perhaps that might not have happened but then again they’ll say it’s the same reason they don’t repair potholes or grit roads and turn off street lighting at midnight apart from the odd main road………..no cash although our cash reserves are at an all time high

        • 80
          Flooding the market says:

          * their cash reserves

          • Walter Rising says:

            Can’t be any help that most people seem to have replaced their front garden with concrete.

        • 83
          A Dickie Bird says:

          You only have to look at the huge puddles in the road outside the entrance to Thames Water’s own water treatment works in Walthamstow to see that they don’t give a shit.

    • 53
      Sir Bernard Haagen-Daas says:

      Flood plane? Is that the same as a seaplane? Elementary spelling mistake.

  11. 15
    Dave Cameron says:

    Lessons will be learned

  12. 16
    Ed Militurney says:

    Climate Change

  13. 17
    Cliche Watch says:

    Must be a record. They held off lessons learned for seven minutes.

    But they still don’t learn.

  14. 19
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Have they got Russ!an guns trained on them ? They seem to be a bit somber…

  15. 24
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    Why do families which are hard working require benefits to pay their rent ?

    There is the problem right there.

    • 76
      John Bellingham says:

      Dianne Hippobot is brilliant. Hard-working benefits claimants.
      To do List
      1/. Light fag.
      2/. Watch Sky
      3/. Finish lager
      4/. Get up.
      5/. Check facebook.
      6/. Pop out for fags, pre-paid phone top-up, lotto ticket, packet of crisps for kid’s lunch.
      7/. Oops! Wednesday, sign on day. Phone to claim going to job interview.
      8/. Have sex
      9/. Order take away pizza.
      10/. Nap after exhausting day.

  16. 25
    Dave Cameron says:

    Difficult decisions

    • 29
      Dave the fixed odds propaganda mouthpiece says:

      Lessons will be learned… Lessons will be learned… Lessons will be learned…

    • 32
      Milbandwagon says:

      Stuff those – simply promise whatever the electors want to hear. Populism rules. Hang principle.

  17. 27
    Ed Miligamble says:

    Bet on me

  18. 31
    Dave Cameron says:

    We’ll be reporting in the spring…

  19. 33
    M102 says:

    Camoron just missed a chance to kick labour in the nuts over gambling. What a tw@t.

  20. 34
    Europhile Dave says:

    What about the EU and the M1 in Yorkshire Dave?

    • 37
      Lateral Thought says:

      Maybe he wants to fuck up the M1 in order to get public support for HS2, as an alternative.

      • 89
        Probably so says:

        I think you’ve nailed it, no need to slow the M6 it is always at full crawl ahead.

  21. 36
    They just don't get it M.P. says:

    Could I just mention again a troughing fellow MP who did very little constructive work, whilst totally ignoring a brave soldier who died in battle a day before Christmas?

  22. 38
    The Russian Navy says:

    Help Portsmouth

  23. 41
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Home chair charges – layabouts!

    Mawnin!

  24. 42
    Dave the Naval Genius says:

    Modernize the Royal Navy and improve the response times for dealing with unannounced foreign warships which turn up fully armed.

    • 70
      Putin is welcome to it says:

      We need a navy to protect us from invasion?..I think that ship has already sailed.
      Scrap the armed forces and double the amount of coppers to keep the immigrants from torching our cities again.

    • 73
      Old Codger says:

      Why would Russia want to invade us? Is it after our natural resources? The only one we have in abundance is rain water. Is there a shortage over ther?

    • 81
      Dave's Imaginary Navy says:

      Our famous “Ghost Ships” have the situation covered

      • 86
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        Perhaps Dave got the wrong idea about razzle dazzle.

        You still need ships for that to work properly.

        Unless he is of course going to sell Put!n the line that they were surrounded all the time by ultra-stealth ships which were under really big H’arry P’otter invisibility cloaks, donated by H’acked Off for destroying press freedom.

    • 104
      Photoshop Fail says:

      A navy is for projecting power overseas.

      An air force is for sinking local difficulties.

      That and the submarine that was probably underneath the Russians having a look.

  25. 45
    Diane Abbott says:

    What does the Prime Minister have to say about the rising cost of a bucket of ryce and peea?

    • 74
      Dave the rave says:

      Jambalaya?

    • 84
      Labour voter says:

      Fried Chicken has gone up by 65p a bucket in my local Chicken Cottage since 2009. That’s a rise of 8.7%.

      What is David Cameron and his government going to do about my finger licken’ Chicken crisis?

  26. 49
    Dave the Knave says:

    Economic security ? How about basic national security ?

  27. 51
    The science is settled says:

    Climate change is utter bollocks.

    • 64
      an absolute shower says:

      Not according to Tristram Hunt’s dad.

    • 105
      You dimmo says:

      Perhaps you can explain why the Australian meteo people had to add to new colours (even hotter, even hotter still) to their weather map. And why there was an incredible heatwave in America…

      • 106
        Yogurt weaver rebuttal squad says:

        Because the Aussie meteorology department is a full on water melon collective and has been fiddling the results & hyping the temps. Perhaps you in turn would explain the unusual amount of antarctic sea ice that the warmunists ice breaker managed to get stuck in? Or the 17 year lack of warming despite ever rising CO2 emissions? I suspect you would rather cling to your mantra and continue to pretend to save the world with wind farm subsidies and energy taxation .

      • 107
        M o P says:

        That the one that is still freezing bollox of every brass monkey in the entire country?

  28. 52
    They just don't get it M.P. says:

    Hey Farron, what about the soldier who died the day before Christmas saving your miserable ar*e??

  29. 54
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Same old Labour, same old Tories, same old traitors.

  30. 56
    They just don't get it M.P. says:

    Quick, grab Goggins’s kidney while it’s still warm.

    • 67
      Postman Pat says:

      I shagged his wife

      • 117
        Bob Maxwell deceased says:

        How is that copper doing these days, the one who shagged Alan Johnson’s wife and forced his premature retirement as Shadow Chancellor .

  31. 57
    Osborne Watch says:

    Osborne looks like he’s soiled himself.

  32. 58
    The Bulgarian Ambassador says:

    Strangely subdued House of Commons. What do they all know they are not talkig about?

  33. 59
    Dave defending murder says:

    Why protect someone who is wanted overseas ?

    If this was a European Arrest Warrant, there would be no question.

  34. 62
    Not keeping abreast says:

    I can’t get my Hitzlsperger in.
    Isn’t it a sin?

  35. 63
    Hair Watch says:

    Is Dave’s bald patch beginning to show ?

    • 115
      Bob Maxwell deceased says:

      Yes when he goes all red in the face when he is incandescent with anger at all the unemployed.

  36. 65
    Red Cameron says:

    Why bother educating people for jobs when most jobs are going to EU migrants ?

    • 116
      Bob Maxwell deceased says:

      Exactly.

      The point must be that year in year out the kids fail;

      Yet the teachers stay there.

      No schools,failing kids plenty of money for tax reductions.

      • 118
        Lance Corporal Bill Bloggs (retired) says:

        I heard he has been fast tracked for promotion to a safe Tory seat in May 2015.

        • 121
          Rhodes Boyson says:

          If I want my teeth fixed i don’t bother with the NHS i go for a weekend trip to Budapest and get them seen to there.

          If you want to go to University you go to Edinburgh or Sydney because it is a lot better and cheaper than the University of East London or wherever.

          If you are under 16 and want an education then you can go to one of those private schools in France. They only cost a few hundred quid a year because the French Government hand over additional money as precept payments.

          If you are in the UK and want to do anything well you have to look abroad all the time.

          Just look at the Premier League if you do not believe me and compare it with the dross that poor Roy Hudson has to put up with and he learnt his trade abroad too.

    • 124
      John Bellingham says:

      Back in the good old days, young undergraduates could gain three month’s work experience on the gold mines on the Rand. The first three weeks was taken up with safety and learning Fanagolo-a special overseers language essential for bossing the natives around. Perhaps schools could teach a basic course in Romanian, Polish, Latvian and Swahili swear words in order that they be able to manage a labour force more effectively.

  37. 66
    As heard... says:

    ‘Without giving offence to the prime minister…’

    ‘Why not ?’

    ….

    • 119
      John Paul Getty the Ninety Seventh says:

      I think the Prime Minister is an ugly arrogant self seeking cnut and most certainly I would not want him at any birthday party of mine.

  38. 85
    They just don't get it M.P. says:

    St Paul Goggins shared a house with a guy who earned £76,000 but Goggins paid all the expenses (and claimed them back, obviously). He even paid the friends taxi-dr1ver brother to install a £3,600 kitchen.

    But, he was a lovely, lovely man.

    http://solidarityandunity.blogspot.co.uk/2009/05/taxpayer-funds-home-for-friend-of.html

  39. 90
    Iain Duncan-Smith says:

    Universal Credit will be delivered on time and on budget.

  40. 96
    Ebay Top Seller says:

    Im just about to list some nice rowing boats.

    They are ideal for rowing to the standpipes come the drought order.

  41. 100
    Oh well says:

    Social worker, councillor, MP, Minister….

    So, no proper job then…

  42. 113
    Johnny Norfolk says:

    Need some UKIP MPs to kick ass.


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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