January 8th, 2014

Gordon Plotting By-Election With Balls
Shadow Chancellor Lovebombs Clegg, Who Hates Him

Leaving aside the naked positioning and re-writing of history by Ed Balls in his New Statesman interview, there was one line that the fearless interviewer did not pick up on. When asked when the Shadow Chancellor last spoke to his political father Gordon Brown, Balls replied: “he actually emailed me today about a by-election coming up in the next couple of weeks”. Well we are certainly overdue one in Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath…

The other line that made Guido chuckle was Balls’ claim:

“I can disagree with Nick Clegg on some of the things he did but I’ve no reason to doubt his integrity, we’ve never, I don’t think, ever had a cross word.”

Which will come as news to the Deputy Prime Minister, who said over Christmas:

“I always try to keep a good sense of humour, and if I have an argument with someone to keep the argument about what the argument is about and not allow it too often to become sort of personal. I make one exception, for a man named Ed Balls. But other than that I try not to make it about insults and stuff.”

Well we can forgive him that…


  1. 1
    Sir William Wayde says:

    What could one say to Ed Balls that would be an insult?

  2. 2
    Surr Nob Skelpoff says:

    Seen this?

    TORY DESELECTION: Tim the Taxi-man faces tax-scam allegations


  3. 3
    Nick Clegg and his 29 SpAd's says:

    Balls has a place in this world, and that is for me to look at him and think I am not the only cúnt around.

  4. 4
    Naughty Nev says:

    Who would win in a fight to the death between Clegg and Balls?

    We all would.

  5. 5
    Coeur_de_lion says:

    I fucked your wife and she gave me AIDS?

  6. 6
    Ed Miliband says:

    You think you are an Obergefreiter but really you are only a Schütze?

  7. 7
    Plazma telly, ya get me, blud? says:

    Jury decision on Mark Duggan trial any minute. Prepare for possible new riot depending on decision.

    If there is a riot, I’m taking advance orders now for plasma TVs, Blu Ray players and smartphones. Brrrrrrrrrrrrap!

  8. 8
    Nick Clegg and his 29 SpAd's says:

    Are my SpAds allowed to help?

  9. 9
    Pssst wanna sound like you are from the 21st Century says:

    LCD (or LED maybe) rather than Plasma.

  10. 10
    ToothGrinder says:

    balls stands on his hind.

  11. 11
    Jimmy says:

    “Well we are certainly overdue one in Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath…”

    It’s on 23rd.

    You may have heard there is a parliament in Scotland

  12. 12
    Gordon Brown says:

    What !!!!!

  13. 13
    Plazma telly, ya get me, blud? says:

    What about DLP, blud?

  14. 14
    Gordon Brown says:

    It’s called a Scottish Executive.

  15. 15
    Edukashun Edukashion Educachun says:

    It’s on the 23rd.

  16. 16
    Polite Person says:

    Any result will result in disorder. Arm the police with pump action shotguns. Its called pest control.

  17. 17
    Love is in the air says:

  18. 18
    TRUCKER says:

    yu spuds got SQUASHED.
    got any fanta, mate.

  19. 19
    Pssst wanna sound like you are from the 21st Century says:

    So you now want to talk about rear projection?

  20. 20
    Typical says:

    Typical rightie racism.

  21. 21
    Johnny says says:

    Paul Goggins wasn’t even dead then and they were already discussing the by-election?

  22. 22
    Ed Miliband says:

    What about me? Am I included in this?

  23. 23
    Mark Oaten says:

    Yes, please!

  24. 24
    Podiceps says:

    Is there any sentence referring to Balls and someone else which could not be finished with ‘who hates him’?

  25. 25
    UK Government Expenses Scamming Training Question says:

    Consider the following:

    Would like to put an order in for HD 3D TV - glasses not required.
    Screen must work.
    No receipt required, money no object but prefer to pay ~ £150.00, cash with a free question in the HoC.

    – Is this a legitimate claim without a receipt ?

  26. 26
    The Labour Party says:

    Violence is part of the rich cultural identity of many immigrant communities and as such should be celebrated.

  27. 27
    No Ed Miliband is NOT included. says:

  28. 28
    Podiceps says:

    Sad person. There are many grounds on which Jimmy can be attacked, but grammar is the least important of all.

  29. 29
    Fabreze Watch says:

    Thought it was a bit early for muck spreading in the fields.

  30. 30
    Typical says:

    No white person has ever been violent. FACT

  31. 31
    Jimmy fan club says:

    Fair play to him. He did admit the other day that Labour have the wrong leader.

    There is hope.

    And he is not as bad as Owen Jones.

  32. 32
    Plazma telly, ya get me, blud? says:

    Me get you a 90 inch tree-D LED, innit!!!!

  33. 33
    Pablo Escobar says:

    One that ends in ‘ashes to ashes, dust to dust’?

  34. 34
    The Sheep Dip says:

    Guido, why are you wasting space on Balls? The man’s career is over. Dead. Finished.

  35. 35
    Owen Jones's special-needs teacher says:

    It’s more or less impossible not to admit that Labour have the wrong leader, when asked.

  36. 36
    Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath resident says:

    I git mae Buckie an’ tabs fae vortin fae oor Gordon as uursual, aye?

  37. 37
    Twitter Police says:

    The use of the word attack clearly demonstrates your willingness to harm this retard and as such you will be arrested forthwith.

  38. 38
    The not at all racist Labour Party says:

    Violence against women is only wrong when whites do it.

  39. 39
    Reality says:

    Perhaps after the M!tchell stitch up the Met are due a proper kicking.

    So long as it is not reported that the left wing anarchists who are going ape are right wing extremists all should be good.

    The most confusing thing about the 2011 riots was that listening to the BBC you would have thought that Thatcher had won the support of the ethnic underclass in the more deprived Labour boroughs in London.

  40. 40
    Sue Doughty says:

    Good Grief! That recently deceased MP is hardly cold and they are chatting about the by election for his seat!

  41. 41
    nick cl egg says:

    when my crotch is used as a crutch, i guess it is no legg tim.e
    leg before wicket time.

  42. 42
    Jimmy says:

    Different by election. Try and keep up at the back.

  43. 43
    Sherlock says:

    Duggan had a gun.

  44. 44
    No nonsense says:

    Lawful killing

  45. 45
    Plazma telly, ya get me, blud? says:

    Verdict is a majority conclusion that it was a lawful killing.

    Lock your doors. Expect trouble on the streets. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap!

  46. 46
    As expected says:

  47. 47
    No nonsense says:

    It’s cold evening

  48. 48
    Plazma telly, ya get me, blud? says:

    Quick, what do you want? Blu Ray player? New stereo? iPad? Get your orders in quick, blud. It iz going to be busy in the shops tonight at midnight. Booka!

  49. 49
    No nonsense says:

    Expect any trouble to be clamped down on – hard.

  50. 50
    INCOMING............ says:

  51. 51
    Cressida's Dick says:

    ‘London’s burning, London’s burning, fetch the engine, fetch the engine….’

    You fuck around with guns don’t be surprised when a cap heads in your direction.

    Was I in charge that day? Was he Brazilian? Was he an electrician?

  52. 52
    Chinese Tom Daley says:

    I Rike Bi Erections

  53. 53
    Call me Dave, A total utter failure says:

    And on that you have my cast iron guarantee.

  54. 54
    Watch the original before the sequel starts later says:

  55. 55
    Cymro oddi ar y llinell says:

    Cress has a brother called Joss. No, really.

  56. 56
    Plazma telly, ya get me, blud? says:

    Actually, on second thoughts, given that people got 6 month sentences for stealing a bottle of water, people might have second thoughts about rampaging again.

  57. 57
    Scumbag alert says:

    Verdict of lawfull killing of Mark Duggan. No compensation LOL.
    Wonder if the this will set off another round of looting. Strange why the media said rioting when it was looting.

  58. 58
    Moriarty says:

    BUT not when he was actually shot apparently as he’d thrown it away

  59. 59
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    In other important legal news…

  60. 60
    Judge Dreadful says:

    The courts did not mess about last time.

    Any more rioting should have similar a response. Only the police should catch more of them.

  61. 61
    Weather closes down UK says:

    AND pissing it down of rain ‘oop north lad

  62. 62
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    Didn’t Macshane get 6 months for stealing £13,000 off of the tax payer ?

    Just for perspective.

  63. 63
    One Term Dave says:

    I think the present bad weather is probably down to global warming. Nick agrees. More windmills anyone?

  64. 64
    ye'll 'av' 'ad y'r tea? says:

    The Scottish parliament is the place where they decide how much money to spend that they haven’t got.

  65. 65
    Judge Dreadful says:

    Sometimes it was both. Mainly, it was opportunistic thievery.

    What it wasn’t was any kind of political protest. No defendants ever claimed that what they did was for political reasons.

  66. 66
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    Now all we need is a peaceful demonstration, and the police to beat up a shouty teenage girl in order for the enrichment to kick off again.

    The MSM didn’t really report the facts properly last time at all…

  67. 67
    Dwayne says:

    Rioting, looting – it’s all the same to me. I’ve got to do something to keep me amused between collecting my bennies.

  68. 68
    and it was called yellow says:

    The met plod don’t do clamping down hard on groups of more than 1.

  69. 69
    Judge Dreadful says:

    Luckily, it’s not up to you.

  70. 70
    Dirty Harry says:

    Don’t catch them, shoot them.

  71. 71
    Judge Dreadful says:

    You have a point. The police who sorted out the rioters in Walthamstow High Street were from South Wales, and to be fair to them, they did a professional job.

    The Met had better have raised there game if any mroe trouble breaks out.

  72. 72
    Tory voter my entire life says:

    I fucked your dog and she have me GAIDS?

  73. 73
    Tory voter my entire life says:

    Gave me. Damn Labour educated spell checker!!

  74. 74
    JH3094-0234-032 says:

    This is clearly down to the removal of the education maintenance allowance.

    This little darling would be lined up to read Classics at Oxbridge had it not been withdrawn.

  75. 75
    Dead Balls says:

    Dead Balls

  76. 76
    Pick litter for bennies says:

    7/7,beheadings,Duggan,etc we already have “rivers of blood” without Murgahan trying to nail Farage with puerile political point scoring.And its not going to get better.

  77. 77
    Judge Dreadful says:

    Some of them did get out – but quite a bit didn’t, like how Duggan’s close childhood friend, Know-Hooke decided the best way to mark his sad passing was to take the change from a gambling arcade.

    “Prosecutor Jane Osborne described how the peaceful protest turned into violence when darkness fell.

    She said: “A group began to attack police vehicles and to break into premises, and when police officers attempted to intervene and calm down the violence, they were attacked with missiles.

    She added: “During the course of this evening, more specific acts of looting and violence also took place.

    “Some were committed by large groups of youth, and include most of these defendants – others are committed by one of the defendants acting alone.”

    The court heard how Knox-Hooke, O’Neill, and Fagan were in Forster Road when two police cars were smashed and set on fire.

    Knox-Hooke was caught on CCTV kicking the car and releasing the handbrake on another, and later held the shutters up on the Paradise Gems jewellery store as rioters burgled it and burned it down.

    The shop’s owner, Stephen Moore, lost £403,000 of goods from the store he had run for 35 years as it was burned to the ground.

    Knox-Hooke also robbed a £100 bag of change from a terrified Ladbrokes cashier and burgled the Quicksilver amusement arcade, scuffling with a security guard.

    Defending, Terry Munyard, said he had been “crushed by what had happened to his friend”.

  78. 78
    DAVE (not long left) CAMERON says:

    Why is Balls enormous bloated (but empty)head stuck on Camerons shoulders ?

  79. 79
    I hate socialists. says:

    Is there no low that Balls will not descend to ? He will do anything for power .

  80. 80
    Jack Ketch says:

    Why not “uprising”?

  81. 81
    Alan Johnson says:

    Don’t worry, Mrs Goggins, I’ll look after the postal votes.

  82. 82
    Mike Portaloo says:

    Everyone hates Ed Balls. He’s a remnant of the Dolly draper / McPoison etc brigade of Brown’s pseudo homosexual club of nobheads. There’s no way he’s win a Labour leadership election – don’t really know why he bothers – he’s their Goebbels.

  83. 83
    Mike Portaloo says:

    Semantics. He had a gun, took delivery of it etc. Was a gangster – footage of his mum and aunt only underlines the background he came from. He was no wrongun but a good loving boy etc – funny that because I don’t think the Met set 30 armed officers on choirboys leaving sunday services. I’m not friend of the police but I can’t really see how they did wrong – if they hadn’t done what they had then someone else would have ended up shot with that gun duggan tossed into the undergrowth.

  84. 84
    Senga says:

    Actually, the Scottish Parliament doesn’t decide its own budget – it’s set by the UK Government through a bloc grant. As it happens, Scotland’s per head tax contribution is higher than the UK’s as a whole so it more than pays its way.

  85. 85
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    If Broon and Balls were drowning and you could only save one…..

    …..what sort of sandwich would you make??

  86. 86
    lojolondon says:

    Wow – second time in my life I have to say respect to Nick Clegg! (See, I even spelt his name correctly!)

    The first time was when he told Gordon Brown that he was the central cause of the UK’s problems, so he would not discuss a coalition with him….

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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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