January 6th, 2014

SKETCH: Play Up, Play Up and Play the Game

With his lopsided grin, easy manner and tousled hair Tristram ‘Hereditary’ Hunt, did his duty impeccably, providing public school leadership to his dogged, working class party this afternoon in the Commons. He treated the sortie with the casual grace of a subaltern in vicarage garden, and ignored the terrible casualties around him.

Disdaining the enemy’s firepower, he went elegantly over the top to launch his deadly question – how many Free Schools had been approved against official advice?

The answer: “None.” Bang, one leg taken off.

Undeterred, he threw himself forward. “Was Al Madinah school approved against official advice?” The same answer took his other leg off.

Lying there in the mud but full of pluck, he waved his troops forward. Labour MPs threw themselves into the raking machinegun fire one after the other and met the same fate. Same question, same answer.

These young class warriors in the Battle of Education. Magnificently unprepared for life. You can’t help but admire their lionlike behaviour, whatever the donkey qualities of their generals.

But what arrogant, out-of-touch elite is sending them out equipped like this? What incompetent strategist has conceived their anti-Free Schools campaign – motivated by sheer loathing of the enemy and unconcerned with massive educational casualties among their own people?

Back behind the lines, as the guns pound on: Ed Balls pours himself a brandy and broods on the destruction of his enemies.


  1. 1
    Ed balls says:

    Read my lips no double dip

    • 27
      klippa says:

      Ed Ball is eating the pie tonight

      Edwin ball eats capon pie the chicken with no bollocks balls

      Ed Ball is a nobheadtwat

      hahahahha i am full,on banana liquer

      • 84
        Broderick Crawford says:

        it is impossible to legally obtain capons any more , only black market from unregulated farms somewhere in southern europe from whence they are imported as baby female turkeys on the paperwork .

        .this because a … yes … eu directive some years back was adopted which prohibited neutering of baby “cocks” as excessively cruel and an abuse of the ” cock’ s” human (??) rights .

        • 162
          Quiet Bat Person says:

          It is not a good idea to attack Tristram Hunt and mke him look a fool.

          He is quite capable of making himself look a fool unaided, and so to attack him would be unsporting and ungentlemany.

        • 247
          Londoner says:

          Is that so? I saw a local butcher taking orders for capons a few weeks before Christmas.

        • 362
          Clown (Ex Swivel-Eyed Loon) says:

          I see them in the French supermarkets all the time.

    • 34
      gosh says:

      i want double cream.

      • 49
        Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Immigrants and Criminals says:

        It’s really sad when the Socialist scum come unstuck. They need to continue their incompetence as I can’t afford another scum Labour Government.

        • 63
          unshutuck. says:

          in the world of ‘el presidente, rectum seeker and the I want mymate.
          always start with the dobbler.

    • 96
      lojolondon says:

      This is why I love the Guido blog – it makes me laugh out loud!!

    • 157
      ed balls is a ffffucking ppppppprick says:


      “Our complacent and out of touch Prime Minister and Chancellor have spent the last week claiming their plan is on track, but these figures show that Britain’s double-dip recession is even deeper than first thought. “

    • 265
      altruism in industry says:

      is this something to do with WWI ?

  2. 2
    Ed balls says:

    Read my lips no triple dip

  3. 3
    Ed balls says:

    Errr what comes after three?

    • 24
      The League of Gentlemen says:


    • 46
      after self interest says:

      first came energy, the came sound follwed by action.
      what action.
      chase the enrgy, energy chases the psycho, psy is a philosophy.
      phi changes self int.
      self inti chasessss .
      p for piss
      p f pisss
      e is enrge.

      • 78
        Jethro says:

        … interesting – well, not really.
        By the way, talking of piss, have you had your blood-sugar levels checked?

        • 116
          piss in the blood. says:


          split s from c.
          s is HO ho ho. or OH oh oh.
          c is useuseuse.
          split the HO USE. Home is a place for pee.
          HE HE HE or OM OM OM.

          ask MO.

  4. 4
    Ed Balls says:

    Read my lips we didn’t run out of money

    • 124
      earl grey says:

      if only my leaves had fitti shades. leave balls alone, well atleast one of them. who knew that balls had lips.

  5. 5
    Ed balls says:

    The NHS is safe in our hands

    • 318
      hoff now mask later says:

      want to kill the NHS?
      get technical.

      L to drive the nerves. lever up lever down: use the right arm.
      use the left for wanking. put the breaks down by pressing the right heal down. when the nerves become out of sync with intent, press the left heal down and free thyself.

      put the L plate around the neck. messing around the nerves is technical. L as a shape is that of a book end. use it abuse it. booooookh is hunger. get hungry.

      the crutch that is the NHS is for wankers, so tie the left arm….and go pole dancing… in BOLTON?

  6. 6
    john in cheshire says:

    Are there degrees of hatred for someone, or is it an absolute? Because if there is an 11 on the dial, then Mr Balls deserves it.

    • 8
      Old Nick waiting in the background says:

      There is a very special level reserved fo Balls

      • 21
        Podiceps says:

        In Dante’s Inferno, the ninth and lowest circle of Hell has the Devil at its centre. He has three heads, and each of his mouths holds a sinner—the three greatest sinners of human history, all traitors to a benefactor. In the middle mouth dangles Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Christ. In the left and right mouths hang Brutus and Cassius, who murdered Julius Caesar in the Roman Senate. Brutus and Cassius appear with their heads out, but Judas is lodged head first; only his twitching legs protrude. The mouths chew their victims, constantly tearing the traitors to pieces but never killing them.

        Perhaps it is time to give these sinners a holiday. Who would you choose to fill the three mouths?

        • 23
          45 mins says:

          Blair balls and brown

        • 35
          Abdul MiniCab Please Thanking Yous Sirs says:

          I would choosings them parents for the little girls who gave away to n0nce group in Portugal. The go holiday to bum fuck little children. Thems taking hers to Belgium the Holland, thems watching the fucking Evertons shit for funs. Bloody fucking. Theys be two and the thirds I put in wankers with English A level who come to Mr Guididido blog and acting all the Bertie fucking bigs bollocks with they shitty knowledge, really making them look like fucking arseholes six form wanks. Please. Call it £5 and then I f!nger your daughter. Scampi juices Scampi juices!

  7. 7
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  8. 9
    Ed Balls says:

    The economy is flatlining *waves hand*

  9. 10
    Freddie Star ate my hamster says:

    Best sketch yet, bravo!

  10. 11
    Ed's Doppelganger says:

    It’s all Balls!!!!!

  11. 12
    Ippikin says:

    This is what happens when Labour simply do not know the facts, nor care to find them out before making fools of themselves.
    They are so far up their own arses in their self-righteous bullshit that they make even Gordon Brown look credible by comparison.

    • 92
      Intellectual Pygmy says:

      I was unfortunate in finding myself reading the comments section of a Sky News article about Baldrick and his disdain for Gove. The comment section was rammed full of shouty self righteous bullshitters, screaming about something they have little or no understanding of, just like Baldrick himself it would seem.

      They struggle so hard to find justification for their opinions in everything they see, that they end up missing the truth and the detail. Sadly I doubt many of them care about the truth or the details of those who served in the Great War.

      • 148
        M­aqboul says:

        “Baldrick” is a member of the Labour Party and once was a member of its National Executive Committee *swoons*… but I’m sure he was motivated by historical integrity alone and was not, as a cynic might suggest, having a partisan bash at a Tory.

        • 255
          Intellectual Pygmy says:

          Didn’t he say he didn’t like the Royalty and all that bollocks before becoming Sir Baldrick?

          • Gove is right says:

            My daughter was shown Blackadder twice during GCSE History lessons.
            She knew it was a doss and enjoyed the programme but didn’t learn anything useful.Most of the pupils had watched it at home anyway.

          • Afrocutter says:

            These days they seem to be taught this sort of garbage rather that the Charge of the Light Brigade story/poem. Wasn’t Ed Balls4brains the Ejekashern Sekitree for a few years?

          • Intellectual Pygmy says:

            I struggle to see what historical insight a BBC comedy filmed in 1989 might provide. Especially one that paints a picture of blathering idiots.

            Those blathering idiots turned a colonial police force into the world’s most effective army, while learning to fight the first industrialised war. They won it too.

            Not bad for a bunch of stupid donkeys.

  12. 13
    Jack Dromey says:

    When I was at school
    I wasn’t seen as thick
    Cos I copied all I wanted
    From some black clever dick.

    We met behind the bike-sheds
    Even in weather so bitter.
    And yes, I still think of him -
    Whenever I’m on twitter.

  13. 14
    nell says:

    From 2004 to 2010 when labour lost the election , youth unemployment under the waving hand of bullyballs more than doubled to nearly 900,000 because labour education had failed them and they didn’t even have basic educational skills to get a job.

    Mind bullyballs should be proud that he presided over one measure for these unfortunate youngsters – he made sure that they were all taught the skill, before they left school, about how to claim benefits.

    • 22
      Casual Observer 5 says:

      And don’t forget the moronic immigration policy which saw the doors open to Eastern European’s undercut and crowded out the jobs which would have otherwise been available.

      The education argument for high youth unemployment has about as much credibility as Ed Balls.

      Rac!st employment practices favoring this cheaper source of labor from abroad is what has left the UK with an unemployed younger generation.

      Until that is reversed the lot of UK born will continue to decline.

      The coalition has only exacerbated this fundamental problem which Labour introduced.

      • 53
        nell says:

        There was a high profile television news interview of young people at our local job centre over unemployment a while back. Our own local youths were asked whether they resented young people from abroad taking the available jobs in agriculture and the construction industry locally whilst they themselves claimed the dole.

        The answer? We have no objection to foreignors taking those jobs, they’re too hard, you have to get up too early and we don’t like being out in the cold, we’d rather have the dole.

        It’s not about cheaper sources of labour – its all about those willing to work.
        Labour, during the years of terror 1997-2010 destroyed a desire for education and the work ethic of the working classes. Don’t underestimate the destructive long term impact of their negative worthless policies.

        • 81
          FFS says:

          Nell, you’ve been suckered in by a media only too eager to cover up for the EU and the government. They are handpicking members of the underclass to support a government narrative that our own people don’t want to work and will not work.

          It is a LIE. The majority of young people want to work and are trying very hard to get a job.

          I have two sons and they and their friends are perfectly able to work and want to work. They can’t find any kind of job because there are hundreds of grown adults applying for every job that comes up. They haven’t got a chance. My sons and their friends were going around everywhere with CVs and talking to managers – always the same story, no jobs and every job they have they can choose from hundreds of applicants.

          • Intellectual Pygmy says:


          • Alan Chingachgook says:

            Correct. Capable and bright British youngsters completely crowded out from employment. Victims of a state/media smear campaign.

          • Aardvark says:

            Nell seems to be a visitor from the Guardian and one of the ‘Blame Thatcher’ mob.

            There are few things in this world that cannot be blamed on her. Except, perhaps, economic success.

        • 82
          Casual Observer 5 says:

          Easy benefits are a big de-motivator, as is showing propaganda such as what you saw in the job center.

          Re-read what you have written: You watched a news interview on a government controlled media outlet talking about a very sensitive aspect of government policy.

          Who are the young people precisely ? Were they scripted ?

          Paying benefits to them is what is keeping them out of the workplace. This is part of the poison of socialism which is actually a form of oppression.

          Look a bit harder and you will see where the real problem lies.

          It started with Labour, and has been continued by the coalition.

          IDS is at least starting to do something about this.

  14. 16
    TV Watch says:

    The ‘Big Brother’ show was being rac!st towards Evander Holyfield.

    ‘Big Brother’ and Channel 4 are rac!st.

    • 32
      Ordinary Joe says:

      Go for it Evander. Balance up the endless gay propaganda we’re subjected to nowadays.

  15. 17
    Podiceps says:

    ‘… as the guns pound on: Ed Balls pours himself a brandy …’
    Ed Balls, brandy and a gun in the same sentence raised a momentary flicker of hope.

    • 114
      Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgangers - Mother says:

      If Balls held a gun to his own Ed (sorry) head and pulled the trigger. He would either miss or their would be sawdust all over the place.

  16. 18
    Percival says:

    I read Lord of The Flies at skool

  17. 19
    Ed the Eunuch says:

    Tristram Hunt is the knight in Monty Python who continues fighting after his arms & legs have been hacked off!

    • 20
      only saying like says:

      Its only a flesh wound

      • 30
        Joy, confidence, amazing, pride, delight, glowing, says:

        juss saying like.
        did i say. “joy , confidence, pride, delight: glowing”
        it all starts with hacking or not.

  18. 28
    Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

    The horny handed sons of toil like Tristram Hunt,Toby Perkins and Hilary Benn,up the workers!

    • 36
      Little Hilary Benn says:

      What’s work Daddy?

      It’s what the plebs do to support the Socialist Intelligentsia like us, my boy. Wedgie (alias Viscount Stansgate, the original Shampain Socialist)

    • 56
      nell says:

      Oh you forget militwit and chuckusyamoney – both of those as as far removed from the real working classes as kim jong un is removed from decent humanity.

  19. 31
    Questions of our time says:

    Why is the UK still wasting over £50m on membership of the failed EU project ?

    • 33
      Questions of our time says:

      That is £50m daily being wasted on membership of the failed EU project ?

    • 37
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      What happened to the ‘a day’, Dimble?.

    • 38
      Screwed Taxpayer says:

      Because Dave and the LibLabConners are still in “power”

      We’re lighting the true blue touchpaper in May, causing a fucking great explosion hopefully.

  20. 39
    Anon. says:

    Ed Balls has put George Osborne on the canvas . :lol:

    Ed Balls warned that “the government is in danger of encouraging a ‘perfect storm’ that could trigger a double-dip recession in Britain, and that the world faces a dangerous time as many governments embark on premature fiscal retrenchments.” He has been proved right.


  21. 42
    The British media are cunts says:

    Yet more lefty bollocks in the British meeja about so called global warming. The current weather is nothing to do with climate change but shite management of rivers by the EA. also if the Arctic is warming why is the fucking air coming down from the north pole so fucking cold?

    When will someone pull the meeja up for their endless lies and distortions?

    The current weather is more more likely to have been affected by sun spots if anything.

  22. 43
    Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

    So few of our young people today understand the meaning of the expression “Hoon”.

    Time marches on. I gather that the new expression for an unspeakable see-you-next-Tuesday is “utter Tristram”.

    Which seems fair enough.

  23. 44
    RomaBob.... Beeg Issue, Beeg Issue! says:

    Egg Balls is a good man, loved by all us Roma……… ‘cos we cannot lie straight in bed either!
    Beeg Issue anyone?

    • 48
      Anonymous says:

      And to think all these years I thought these people were trying to sell me “Big Shoes”

    • 51
      Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

      Eff off back to Bucharest via Pennywell!

      • 60
        nell says:

        Since the last labour government bequested us nearly a million unemployed youngsters who could barely write their names and didn’t want to work, maybe we need them in the agriculture and construction industries until we can can finally get an education policy going that produces useful , properly educated workers.

        • 88
          Casual Observer 5 says:

          Q: Why aren’t they out doing manual work, like working in the fields in Boston ?

          A: Because the government pays them to remain idle (benefits) and if they did try to get such work they would be discriminated against because they do not speak some East European language.

          Young girls have been less affected. They at least could find work easier as prostitutes thanks to the imported criminal elements, however, their hourly rate is reduced now compared to when Labour opened the doors.

          • UpToe says:

            money is always for sale, just as wll it is abolished now.

          • Agribusiness says:

            Because it is winter. The fens are waterlogged. And because at this time of year there is very little to do on a farm that the owner with a machine isn’t best placed to do.

          • up town grrrl. says:

            you can farm me logs out any time, duck.

        • 98
          FFS says:

          The 1million kids that can barely write their names are the children of immigrants. They can barely speak English, let alone write.

          Our own kids are doing just fine. Stop sucking up that carefully placed government narrative meant to provide cover for mass immigration.

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            The kids that were born here the UK has a responsibility for. They are English.

            However, that they cannot speak or write English is not a fault of the education system.

            Blame can be laid at the door of the families involved. The cases where the children have not picked up basic skills will not have made any attempt whatsoever to integrate.

            This is not an indigenous problem either: Many families, unchallenged, would have deliberately not integrated in order to protect their own culture.

            An analogy can be drawn with the Blacks who lived in the townships in South Africa, and the Aboriginal people of Austral!a.

            The respective governments spent a lot of money on programs designed to encourage these people to integrate and get ahead – in particular to give them preferential and free access to education. It was those people who rejected that.

            Why ? Because in those cases they were politically opposed to the governments in question, and importantly also wished to move ahead under their own steam.

            What has happened in many parts of the UK is essentially this, the difference being that the people involved are on English land, not their own.

          • Londoner says:

            “However, that they cannot speak or write English is not a fault of the education system.”

            That is debatable. What is a very specific tragedy for which responsibility which can be laid at the doors of the teaching profession is that a massive proportion of such kids who could at least function in their mother tongues when they enter the school system have no qualification in either English or a second language -including their moter tongue – when they leave it.

  24. 50
    Ed balls says:

    Balls also warned there was a danger of other countries “moving ahead when we are not”.

    Hahahahaha twat!

  25. 52
    Dr. Who says:

    History will not be kind to Ed Balls or that crazy Gordon bloody Brown

    • 143
      Alan Chingachgook says:

      Always tempting with Brown to indulge in explosive profanity, but that works really rather well, doesn’t it…’Crazy Gordon bloody Brown’

  26. 55
    EU Watch says:

    If you kiss a riot officer, you will be charged with sexual assault:

  27. 57
    nell says:

    So how is bullyballs going to counter osborne’s economic revival ? Last I read he was still saying he was going to tax and spend again if he got back into power in 2015. Has he changed his tune?

    • 117
      Ed the splurger says:


      What’s that you say? Balls has never hitherto acknowledged that Labour spent too much? When asked in June on Twitter if Labour had been a tad free with taxpayers’ money, he replied: “Do I think the last Lab govt was profligate, spent too much, had too much nat debt? No I don’t think there’s any evidence for that.”
      Well, exactly. Where’s the evidence? So what if the OECD has pointed out that in 2000 Britain’s structural fiscal position was one of the best in the G7, yet in 2007, just before the financial crisis, it was the worst in the G7? A mere trifle.
      So there you have it. Labour didn’t overspend last time and, even if it did, it’s now changed – and here’s another “zero-based spending review” to prove it. I, for one, believe Mr Balls and I’m shocked – shocked – that so few others do.
      In my next post, I’ll be relying on my good friends Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy to prove that pigs really do fly.


  28. 58
    EU Watch says:

    Spa!n hasn’t really tried to take G’ibraltar, but as the incursions continue the notion of border and authority slips.

    Perhaps this is part of Dimmy Dave’s strategy with Russ!a.

    Let their war ships hang out in UK sovereign waters unchallenged, and all will be cool. (Dave of course, is a fool.)

    • 65
      nell says:

      dave has his faults but do you really think the spineless militwit would be a better substitute?

      • 71
        EU Watch says:

        In this case, probably, yes.

        Despite his diary entry, Ralph the father did board a ship and fight for the UK. Miliband perhaps would have put in place a Defense secretary with a bit more nowse, and exercised a little more caution over leaving the UK thoroughly undefended.

        Arguably, Miliband is perhaps slightly more qualified in this field than Cameron.

        Cameron has not done anything except continue Labour’s policy of reducing the capability for the UK to defend itself, and played cheap politics with the construction of new UK Naval capabilities.

        It is really a joint Lib Dem / Conservative dereliction of duty, but the buck stops with Cameron: Unless, of course, he isn’t really Prime Minister any more.

        One should question why the UK is so exposed.

        Do not forget that Cameron asked the House about intervening in Syr!a only four months ago, and this very point about defending the realm whilst engaging in that theater was raised as a concern.

        Assurances were given to the House that there would be no problem.

        Without engagement in the Syr!an theater, the UK is apparently wide open to any and all.

        And responsibility for that state of affairs lies firmly with Prime Minister Cameron.

        • 74
          nell says:

          Ho Hum you are very funny!!

        • 385
          Jim says:

          Funny, but True!
          Those poor Russian sailors had sit around a whole 24 hours before the Royal Navy could arrive from Portsmouth.
          It was even worse than A&E waiting times.

        • 386
          GDS says:

          The BAE Systems TOBA that allow BAE workforce to remain idle or be made redundant at taxpayer expense was signed by the last Labour Govt. The cheap politics came with this deal, the recent announcements were to try to limit the taxpayer’s liability against this stupid Labour deal. Do keep up!

    • 70
      Non taxable pikey says:

      Go to live ships AIS, zoom in on the Moray Firth and see just how many ships are sheltering there from this appalling weather. Seas went from 1 metre to 6 metres in less than an hour yesterday.

      • 75
        EU Watch says:

        If there are any uninvited armed warships there, you might like to phone that it to the MoD.

        I do not think that type of shipping will be listed on that site.

    • 109
      Admiral Byng says:

      Nothing that a few torpedos wouldn’t sort out.

      • 200
        FFS says:

        Better a couple of small mines to hole a boat just below thew water line. Don’t want to make it too obvious that we are dealing with them, just give them the heebie-jeebies so they don’t risk doing it again.

        If they don’t take the warning, then just nuke Madrid.

    • 134
      M­aqboul says:

      30 miles offshore is not “UK sovereign waters”. If it were we’d own 8 miles inland of Northern France.


  29. 59
    Bob Fleming says:

    O/T Ch4 now banging on about banning khat and the UK Somali community – what happened to real news?

  30. 62
    Feel the enrichment says:

    Watching a programme about hygiene in takeaways. One chicken takeaway had rat droppings and a dirty kitchen. The inspector told the owner, a bearded muzee, he needs to clean the entire place. He replied that “inshallah” he will have it cleaned.

    Of course, the thing many people forget is that in islam, muslims are instructed to lie to infidels under the rule of taqqiya. They’re also taught that non-muslims are worthless and don’t deserve any mercy. So when a muzee takeaway has a dirty kitchen with rat droppings, it’s because they want to intentionally harm kuffars. It’s deliberate.

    • 68
      nell says:

      Do give over – that’s a bit like saying the current storm hitting us from the USA is a global expression of AGW or if I should win the lottery that that means everyone around me is a millionaire.

      Some takeaways and restaurants of all types in the UK are daily found to flout environmental health regulations and be a danger to the public. That’s what we have environmental health officers for.It doesn’t mean every food establishment in the country of one sort or another is a problem. If you’re worried , don’t ever eat out, buy fresh ingredients and always cook for yourself.

      • 80
        Feel the enrichment says:

        Nell, I do wonder sometimes when it comes to your pro-muslim comments. Islam is an evil terrorist ideology.

        • 110
          nell says:

          Of course it isn’t, anymore than the ira was/is an evil mouthpiece of christianity.

          Some people use religion as an excuse for their personal penchant for violence. It doesn’t prove that religion is bad!!

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            Some religions have attack rather than forgiveness written into their scripture.

            It is the extreme interpretation of this which a growing number of !slamic followers have which is the problem.

            From a moral point of view, a Christian would perceive !slam as bad, but would forgive. Unless they really caused irritation in which case it is crusade time.

      • 106
        FFS says:

        You eat in Muzzie restaurants if you want. I know full well the kinds of things that have been found in their food and you wouldn’t catch me in there.

        25% of Muzzies said they supported 9/11. So what do you think the chances are that one of the guys in the kitchen thinks its a good idea to wank himself off in your curry? Pretty high I’d say.

        If I want a curry when I’m out and about I go to a Toby.

        • 179
          Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

          If God had wanted me to eat curry I would have been born in the sub continent,never eat effnik grub.

      • 111
        FFS says:

        “That’s what we have environmental health officers for”

        Yeah, we also have the police that amongst their duties are supposed to listen to the concerns of vulnerable young girls. Turns out that’s a stone they don’t happen to like looking under.

        What do you think the chances are the environmental health officers turn the same blind eye?

        In fact, what do you think the chances are tha the environmental health officer is a Muzzie, given that the government is the biggest employer of ethnics?

        Wake up for your own good, please.

    • 83
      Lazarus of Atos says:

      Certainly plenty of them all over the country, same tricks. I cannot recall reading of a non mooz joint being prosecuted for years and years.

      Ignoring silly Nell, the best action is to not go in any of these places if you value yourself that is.

      • 118
        nell says:

        My word you are a complete nutter. Not sure where you live but hope it’s not anywhere in my neck of the woods. We are rather law abiding, solid citizens around here with some very decent restaurants of all nationalities, which we much enjoy.

        You appe@r to be a rather deranged sort of person, detached from normal life. Very sad!!

        • 140
          Casual Observer 5 says:

          Erm, Nell, love your posts, but you are coming across a bit fruity at the moment.

          For the above stuff about deliberately dirty kitchens – that is true.

          It is directed mainly at non believers, which is why you will not find many Muzzies eating at those restaurants.

          To get you over the cognitive bump, check out the great food poisoning of H’ong K’ong that took place in 1857:


          You should recognize that attacking people through deliberate food contamination is a tried and tested strategy.

          • nell says:

            Don’t live in Hong Kong Sweetie. I suspect our East Anglian environmental health officers are rather more stringent in their enforcement of food hygiene regulations.

            We love eating out and get great enjoyment from Indian restaurants and food.

            But as I say if you’re worried buy your own and cook your own.

          • nell says:

            Don’t live in H+ong K+ong Sweetie. I suspect our East Anglian environmental health officers are rather more stringent in their enforcement of food hygiene regulations.

            We love eating out and get great enjoyment from Indian restaurants and food.

            But as I say if you’re worried buy your own and cook your own.

          • Lazarus of Atos says:

            CO, This does not seem to be the same Nell of old. Either too much Christmas sherry, a good shafting from an ethnic in the hedgerows or an IMPOSTER.

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            @Lazarus: Agreed. Using term Sweetie, almost sounds like E who shall not be named. But again – heavily medicated.

            Still – good point raised about curry’s and eating out.

            If anyone wishes to make an authentic (well B’angladeshi / North !ndian style – most curry in the UK is B’angladeshi or invented in London… I am very intimate with the difference…) curry house curry:

            Start with this recipe for Tarka Dahl


            Bengal Gram = Yellow Lentils

            Reduce the amount of water to about 0.9l and double the amount of grated ginger. Adjust to your taste – Do not fear to add salt – helps bring out the flavor at the end if bland.

            Make sure the yellow lentils are soaked for about 24 hours, and cook them for about 45 mins to be on the safe side, before mixing with the Tarka.

            Best to use Olive oil, or coconut oil.

            Morrison’s own brand G’aram M’asala gives good results.

            To up the spice: For the tarka, use fresh Thai finger chiles, between 2 and 5.

            You can depart from Tarka and make a real curry by adding mushroom / Okra / Spinach / Courgette / boiled potato to this dish. Not all at once, and vary the quantities to taste. Don’t need a lot.

            With just the tomato, and lots of chile, chucking in some small prawns really works a treat.

            For Korma style dishes, add in (but watch the heat) Almond and Coconut Milk, keep the spice down.

            Prepare some rice as a side dish: This is a good recipe for Pilau


            Poppadom – do recommend going to an !ndian food store and picking up the real deal. Easy to shallow fry.

            You will find cost of each serving to be about £1.00, depending on how many veggies you add, or if meat is used.

            (For meat dishes – chuck the meat in and cook in the early stage with the tarka and adjust the timings.)

            Significantly cheaper than the local takeaway, and much better quality with no fear of contamination so long as your kitchen is clean.

            The secret is the red lentils. These thicken the sauce. Adjust the water for thinner or thicker.

            Gluten free, potentially vegan, very nutritious and fun to experiment with. Cook time – veggie – about 1 hour: Do not undercook the lentils :-)

          • FFS says:

            Yes, I agree. Nell isn’t the kind to use the word sweetie. Try harder next time imposter.

          • Afrocutter says:

            CO – nice but even better if you chuck in a few chick peas.

        • 161
          Feel the enrichment says:

          Nell, for someone who’s a self-proclaimed Maggie fan, islam seems to be your blind spot. Do you even know what’s in the koran? It’s nothing more than a terrorist manual. It says unequivocally that non-muslims are mortal enemies and that any muslim who kills an infidel gets the keys to paradise. It’s a perverted ideology invented by an illiterate p*edophile who married a 6 year old, kept sex slaves and said god told him to have sex with his daughter in law. His own son’s wife! When he was caught, he actually said god commanded him to have sex with her! And I haven’t even mentioned what it says about killing gays and adulterers. It’s a violent, murderous ideology that’s anti women, anti gay, anti Jèw and anti Christian. Just because some muslims in your area happen to be quiet is neither her nor there.

          • in in in the ah. ah ahaaa... hgive me your lah says:

            i will be your verge.it.in. you dosser.
            islam is for vegans.
            real men eat by the meter.

  31. 66
  32. 67
    EU Watch says:

    Another fascinating example of EU dysfunction:

    The ruling will be interesting, but should have no implications for the ongoing search for the young girl.

    • 72
      nell says:

      Anybody else remember those photos of goncalo and those long expensive lunches he had most days with that mysterious lady in red whilst he was purportedly investigating the disappe@rance of madeleine?

    • 180
      Sure everyone thinks.. says:

      They did it.

      • 205
        FFS says:

        She did it and Gerry covered up for her.

        They put the body in the nearby cemetary at first to put the sniffer dogs off the scent. Then they took the body over the border to Spain and dumped it in a water treament works.

      • 319
        i am every man's dream says:

        i am going to sue everyone.

  33. 69
    Danny Blanchflower says:

    If you want someone to take over from Ed Balls, you could do worse than moi.

    • 73
      nell says:

      You are too far down the pecking order – rachelreeves and the eagle sisters have a better chance.

      • 76
        Vlad the Energy Impaler says:

        What all three together?? [Conjures dark thoughts as a new triple lock]!!!!

      • 77
        Eric Morley says:

        What a horrifically ugly bunch.

        • 85
          nell says:

          sadly that is the extent of labour talent these days – who else is there who might reasonably take on the labour leadership when militwit falls by the wayside in 2015, and succeed?

          They assassinated their most likely successful leader in his brother david – who else is there that could take on the mantle with a reasonable chance of success? – nobody!

      • 107
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Do you mean Rachel Reeves AKA Morticia of the Adams Family by any chance?

        • 122
          nell says:

          +++Smile+++ well she does have a rather stringent tone of voice doesn’t she? If she wants to be labour leader maybe she’ll have to take voice lessons and tone down her pitch!

  34. 79
    Lazarus of Atos says:

    Government to save £60bn in 4 years on benny bashing, but give out £44bn to overseas dictators etc. You couldn`t make it up.

    • 90
      nell says:

      benny bashing – now that’s a phrase for thought. If they can save £15 bn a year on unwarranted welfare benefits they’ll be doing a good job – but I’ll have to see it to believe it.

      • 115
        FFS says:

        If they sent all the immigrants and ethnics home it would be a piece of piss. Can’t imagine Clogg going for it though.

        • 132
          nell says:

          I was brought up in a fen village on a council built estate in the 1950′s. Everybody on that estate then worked in agriculture, the brickyards or construction and the odd one or two in offices. Nobody was on benefits. The big thing in those days was to get to grammar school and break the poverty cycle.

          I did a survey recently of that same estate – 90% are now on benefits and none of them have any interest in encouraging their children to seek better education or to look for work. Why is that?

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            Government policy since 1997 to present especially, but the social changes were effected in the UK once Ma’astricht was signed.

          • FFS says:

            Because Maggie sold off all the council houses and the diversity of skilled jobs since the 50s gave the working class in council estates the chance to move to lower middle class private estates and into jobs with better pay.

            I grew up on a council estate and this is exactly what happened to my parents and many like them. The working class grew into the new lower middle class moved away and left the underclass behind.

            Any remaining places in those crappy old council estates tend to be back filled with ethnics. (Then they start petrol bombing each other but they suppress it in the local news)

          • altruism in industry says:

            the thing was the eleven plus.
            I twigged I needed to learn this shit and answered every question correctly.
            In the case of my friend ( who was as clued up as me ) from the same estate he did mess about in class and one teacher took against him and demoted him to the class which was doing more rugby than maths.
            I will never forgive that teacher for putting my friend into the lower stream so that he was unable to pass the eleven plus and have the benefit of a grammar school education`, but that is life.

    • 127
      M­aqboul says:

      Couldn’t make it up? You just did, numbnutz.

  35. 86

    Happy New Year, Simon!

    Good to see you back. Sorry to lose your namesake from the Grauniad.

    One imagines that the rumours of implacable hostility between those of your trade are greatly exaggerated.

  36. 87
    Took the honour, quick enough says:

    May I take this opportunity to advice that slimy little Labour cùnt who plays Baldrick that he makes my fucking skin crawl.

    • 137
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Tony Robinson. He is a shitty little lefty third rate actor.

      • 287
        altruism in industry says:

        I must agree ,well I don’t necessarily have to but I thought I might.
        There is something about little socialists that makes you want to punch their face and say ” Oh sorry, I thought you were somebody else “

  37. 89
    Anon. says:

    Yasmin Qureshi Labour MP who voted for halal meat to be hidden in the food chain and not to be labelled as such now comes out in support of KHAT on channel 4 news.

    • 93
      Anon. says:

      There’s a pattern…

      • 120
        FFS says:

        Jesus that photo’s flattering Yasmin. The miracle of photoshop. Praise Allah!

        • 154
          UpToe says:

          do not ask Krisht.
          it all started in KASH….i wish i a richbitch’s….a .. MIR.

          rwyQUE….the music. Flamingo is a poor man’s tango.

      • 174
        Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

        What the fuck as Kashmir got to do with Bolton

      • 190
        Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

        She is a real star is our Yasmin. disqualified from driving for speeding and using a mobile and then got taxis everywhere and sent the tax payer the bill.

        All she is doing is working her electorate, 40 % of her constituents are from the sun continent

        • 215
          Yasmin Qureshi says:

          A vote for Labour is a vote for Islam

          • pregnancy outpatients Department says:

            has someone in labour dropped?
            i will get the a ha law , and fix me balls first.

          • icondom says virgins r us says:

            so w is l.

            so who wants a ha la law then.
            ahala does halal
            …………………halal is la m

    • 94
      nell says:

      What on earth is khat? Do explain!

      • 101
        Anon. says:

        It also raises funds for Islamist terror groups.

        • 133
          nell says:

          Yes but what is it?

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            It is a drug.


            It was to be made Class C, really it should be Class B.

          • M­aqboul says:

            They chew the leaves as a mild narcotic. The Gurkhas use it rather than tobacco. No-one dares to stop them.

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            One of the withdrawal symptoms is psychosis.

            Chewing a lot of it will also cause a psychosis.

            If you wonder what some of the crazy Muzzies on uTube are on when they are going ape with a machete on some other dudes, Khat is one of those things.

          • FFS says:

            if class B is a drug, then what is a BFF, FFS.

          • Yasmin Qureshi says:

            That is not the real FFS

          • Podiceps says:

            If anyone wants to try some khat, you can get it in the underpass where the Marylebone Flyover crosses the Edgware Road. It costs £6 for a bunch. Effects are mild and pleasant, far less strong than hashish.

            That is, you can get it while it’s still legal. Soon there will be khat pushers, khat lords, khat-related shootings. Bloody stupid governments never learn.

            Legalise the lot. Quite soon there will be less of a problem.

          • Larry the Cat, quietly plotting and purring from Number 10 says:

            Meow. ;-)

          • a cleared cat says:

            will the real FFS please stand up.

      • 171
        Lazarus of Atos says:

        You will have had it Nell in yer effnick lovely restaurants in the Fens.

        • 173
          Lazarus of Atos says:

          Oh dear, looks like 50s Nell will be on egg and chips in the greasy spoon down the Fens again.

      • 196
        Londoner says:

        Also spelled Qat, it is an extremely useful word for scrabble players

    • 95
      Anon. says:

      Killer Ayanle Adan jailed for near-decapitation in Streatham


    • 102
      John Henry Jones-Smith says:

      FFS This is Britain…not pissing P’kistan or Yemen.

    • 159
      oioi says:
      • 182
        oLo says:

        khat comes before kash
        when kashmir does not do the trick, then it is off to nepal we go for a new pal.

        keep it under your hat, fawkes. khat is a secret. it is a letter. did someone pull the pin shaped plug.

      • 376
        Ali Baba and the 40 thieves says:

        Is everybody called Yasmin a complete and enduring fuckwad?

  38. 97
  39. 103
    Anonymous says:

    Private schoolboys, Oxbridge, chinless wonders, dominate every aspect of a country that practices economic apartheid with great vigor. It’s no wonder so much talent goes to waste in Britain.

    The Mandelson-sponsored parachuting of Hunt into Stoke on Trent (he still lives in London, of course) was and is a disgrace. Stoke is about to get it in the goolies again as Tracey Ullman’s daughter Mabel is about to be parachuted in their too. It’s disgusting.

    • 107
      Anyone but Stan says:

      At least they are British.

      • 126
        FFS says:

        Trace Ullman is half Polish and half Roma gypsy with an American passport.

        Dunno about Mandelson – doesn’t sound very British.

    • 113
      For evil to triumph says:

      You know what you have to do.

    • 125
      M­aqboul says:

      That’s socialism for you: elitist.

      Even Stalin thought the workers were too thick to become party members.

    • 345
      bergen says:

      I recall that when Hunt was parachuted in, this blog’s then lefty poster Gary Elsby resigned from office in his constituency.

      I wonder how he must feel about another heir of a multimillionaire “luvies for labour” clan being handed the seat next door.

  40. 112
    Anonymous says:

    There were and are many good local candidates. These London types should eff off for good.

  41. 119
    Blowing Whistles says:

    can’t let it go to waste …

    Blowing Whistles says:
    January 6, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    The political system in this country is still full of ‘dead wood’ and the younger ‘dead headed saplings and cuttings from the elders’. We need a damned good bonfire to burn all the older and younger infected and rotting wood.

    i don’t n eed no doctor says:
    January 6, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    Are you a forester?

  42. 121
    Ed Miliband says:

    Step aboard our ship of fools.

    • 131
      FFS says:

      Labour isn’t just a ship of fools. It’s a fucking Armada.

    • 138
      nell says:

      It’s interesting that they are trying to parachute the like of jack straw’s son, bliar’s son, hatty harpics offspring, johnprescots son, etc into mp’s seats for the 2015 election. Labour no longer represents the working classes, the labour elite is all about promoting it’s own children to continue troughing off the taxpayer.

      • 142
        i don't n eed no doctor says:

        I wonder if lying, spite and hypocrisy runs in the genes?

        • 147
          nell says:

          What I think is that they are slowly destroying themselves. the labour party was built on its staunch defence of the working classes. In the terror years of 1997-2010 they destroyed the working classes and believed they had replaced their votes with the dependent votes of the welfare benefit classes .

          Now they are adrift without a firm base , and like the elite of the communist classes of the past they are promoting their children to trough off we taxpayers in the belief that we will keep supporting them with our hard work and taxes.

          They may be mistaken.

          • Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

            Why would anyone who is white and working class vote labour.

            What do any of the labour MPs know about manual work.

            As someone has correctly pointed out we don’t have working class seats in parliament any more there are welfare dependency seats.

          • Britannia says:

            May be mistaken? Too right they are mistaken. Some of those names will not get to the airport when the time arrives for the gloves to come off.

          • FFS says:

            Only 45% of Labour’s votes come from white working class people.

            5% comes from LGBT

            50% comes from ethnics.

      • 144
        Ed the splurger says:

        Can you imagine the screams from labour and the BBC if these had been Tories

      • 152
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Perhaps you missed what I stated above in box 119 about dead wood and the cuttings – but then again perhaps you didn’t!

        • 165
          nell says:

          As a gardener I know that cuttings can re-shoot . The problem comes , especially from fruit wood cuttings that are diseased, is that those perpetuate the same problems of fungus and mildew in the fruit etc.

          It’s always best to have fresh stock!

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            If you were a Carl Gardener – he and his ilk want cutting down to size as well fat cat bozo shysters.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            p.s. oops I left a word out – insert ‘pontificating’ after fat cat.

          • FFS says:

            Are you saying the best way to deal with Labour is with a hefty does of glyphosate? You could be right.

            Now which hotel are they staying at for their next conference?

      • 170
        Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

        This is not new Nell its gone on for decades,up the workers.

        • 185
          nell says:

          If what you say is right – sunderland is not a working class seat it is a corrupted welfare benefit seat.

          That is the point. If the welfare benefit bubble, that labour deliberately created in it’s years of terror 1997-2010 to replace the genuine working class vote that it destroyed, collapses over the next decade or so, what will they use for votes?

          And that is important for our democracy because it means we will lose one of the major left right planks of our politics. bliar, brown, balls and militwit have done serious and major damage to the political balance or our democracy. They have much to answer for.

          • Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

            It is a working class seat corrupted by the benefit culture and the Labour Party in equal measure,I used to live in March,a place Im sure you know,it bears no relation to a place like Sunderland,Why? because it has never been infested ny the left.

      • 219
        Kinnochio says:

        Don’t forget my son boyo!

  43. 153
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


    • 162
      Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

      Thank you, I will need that for my Carbon Taxes, and more, to buy some thousands of subsidised Wind Farms.

  44. 166
    Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

    Just watched the first two minuted of Benefit Street On C4,filmed in Birmingham an insight into the underclass that now infests Britain.The culture of welfare dependency in this country must be challenged or else we heading to Armageddon.

  45. 169
    dange danger says:

    I have the sickenss in the toilet dept

    i am hitting the back f the pan and g.brown appears under the water with bubble round his face

    • 175
      dange danger says:

      my bink lnk is reserved the name Evwards after his honestery Edward Balls MP

      • 209
        Blowing Whistles says:

        You boys need ‘toilets’ … oh I forgot he’s a fucking deluded marxist twat as well.

  46. 177
    Tony Benn says:

    I admire Chairman Mao. He made a few mistakes, yes, but what a leader.

    • 186
      Chengdu says:

      He would have had you paraded through the streets in a dunces cap before you were tirtured to death before a baying mob.

    • 188
      nell says:

      He did and no doubt also supported stalin and that chap in cambodia.

      Only a socialist could support killing off millions of innocent men women and children in support of some crackpot leftwing theory .

      • 194
        nell says:

        Oh and lets not forget stalin and pol pot killed off academics – tony benn would not have survived the extreme socialism he supported had he not been far removed from their deadly tentacles in his safe gilded london palace.

        • 201
          nell says:

          Thousands of Better Men and Women than benn died in Cambodia’s Great Socialist Death March and he never once voiced a concern against it!!

          This is at the real heart of the corruption of the late 20th /21st century UK labour party. They are completely unable to address real evil. Tristram Hunt and his academic inability to address nazism is of the same strain of current labourism.

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            Why forget Mao ? He killed off about 65m in Ch!na, just trying to create a socialist utopia.

            Principal MO: Executions, deaths of political prisoners held in custody, and forced famine.

            Mao outdid Stalin by just over a factor of 3.

          • nell says:

            Exactly. So much evil and the UK labour party never once spoke out against it. Such evil!

          • Marx and Engels says:

            There is bound to be opposition at every satage of the move towards total Communism. Those with vested interests in retaining the status quo must be brutally crushed at every opportunity

          • Owen Jones, penny dropping... says:

            Yeah, but how exactly can you define working class landless peasants as being a VI which should be crushed as part of the revolution ?

            I was taught that socialism is all about helping those trapped at bottom move up in the class struggle, or at least gain equality with the bourgeoisie over ownership of the means of production.

          • Marx and Engles says:

            It really is very simple Owen. Don’t worry too much about the details of why they are opposing, simply assume that by opposing, or merely getting in the way and generally being a tad obstructive, that they are against Marxism – and then crush them.

            See? The principle really is rather straightforward.

          • Owen Jones, penny dropping... says:

            So that means that it is more likely Labour who would deprive me of food, causing me to starve, if they thought I was getting in the way of progress than the Evil Nasty Tories ? And they wouldn’t care about my social class or how much I struggle ?


            Perhaps this history of progress through enforced famine is why Labour have been so big on promoting food banks and trying to make out that it is the Evil Nasty Tories who are trying to starve people. Talk about revisionism and guilt transference.

            They didn’t mention that at conference.

        • 221
          Angkor says:

          Pol Pot killed off Cambodian academics by the simple expedient of executing anyone who wore spectacles.

          • Marx and Engles says:

            Good God, yes. Middle class academics have the possibility to gain wealth of their own in direct contradiction of the principles of Marxism. Therefore they are so likely to oppose Marxism being imposed upon them you should more or less assume right from the start that they need to be dealt with robustly.

            Many will need to be executed, whilst others can be re-programmed to be totally subservient to the Marxist state under close supervision, or re-deployed – perhaps in the fields.

    • 189
      Benn is a cunt says:

  47. 181
    AnusButtocks says:

    I blames the fucking fick cu’nts wot vote for these wankstains like Unt

    Stop watchin shit TV, and learn bout shit you fik cu’nts,,,then you’ll see how the Labour party is actually your enemy

  48. 191
    Georgie Osborne's Blue and White Army says:

    I tell you we Tories will absolutely piss the next election against these socialist no hopers.

    Have you ever heard of anyone called Tristram ever winning anything?

  49. 211
    Rory Bailey says:

    Tristram Hunt has joined that club of politicians you hate no matter what party they belong too. Liam Fox, Dennis MacShane, Dr Evan Harris and others share a talent for arrogance and condescension.

    Long may this blog aim its darts at their inflated egos.

  50. 212
    Lazarus of Atos says:

    Benefit Street.

    Horrendous waste of our money. Cut the lot off.

    • 222
      Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

      Absolute scumbags neither use nor ornament to mankind,the Tories should use this prgramme as an election broadcast they would win a lansslie as I posted earlier we heading to Armageddon unless we get a grip on this culture.

      • 237
        Ben says:

        Some on that street get up to 900quid in bennies. FFS that’s more than a wage to a lot of people.

        • 241
          Curious says:

          Per week or per month?

          • Ben says:

            Month but that’s top up on their wages. fFS I wish someone would top up my wages with a huge travel bill, two daughters at university and no help whatsoever.
            Why I ever bothered to spend thousands educating myself to earn good money is beyond me. It all goes in tax and gets given to these wasters and I end up actually worse off while working every hour god sends.

    • 290
      Cassandra says:

      Benefit Street -even worse, if possible, there are thousands, tens of thousands of such useless shites living off the backs of decent working people. More to come………

  51. 216
    Frankly my dear,I don't give a damn says:

    Owen Jones to wear a specially made LaCoste check shirt and quaff a magnum of Bollinger in solidarity with ‘the poor’.

    • 226
      nell says:

      Owen Jones has as much in common with the real working classes as does wedgie been and chuckusyamoney!

      • 309
        Adolph Miliband, Marxist says:

        None of the people you mention has any known relationship with the means of production. I suggest they are slaughtered in a gulag somewhere.

  52. 227
    Plod is coming mr milliband says:

    Bbc news

    Financial regulators have begun a formal investigation into the troubled Co-operative Bank.

    The Bank of England’s Prudential Regulation Authority (PRA) said that its investigation would consider the role of former senior managers.

    The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) also announced an investigation, which follows the bank’s near-collapse and revelations about its former chairman.

    The PRA and FCA have the power to impose fines and other sanctions.

    • 240
      End Corruption says:

      Will they be investigating the payments the Co-op has made to politicians? It is outrageous that a retail and banking conglomerate should be allowed to buy up so many MPs in our country’s parliament.

    • 242
      nell says:

      Hmmm are they going to consider and openly report the role of labour’s parliamentary elite in the appointment of damaged labour party aparatchiks with no banking experience to the the Coop Banks highest echelons?!!

      • 259
        Duty Pedant says:

        ‘damaged labour party aparatchiks’:

        Surely you mean a crack and meth addicted lunatic homosexual Methodist minister chum of Ed Balls, who has no sense of either ethics or morality, and who accepted the position of responsibility knowing full well he was not qualified for it ?

        To call the gay ‘damaged’ may require you to go to the naughty seat on Big Brother for a public shaming on Channel 4.

        • 279
          nell says:

          I suspect the drug addled labour elite , completely qualification free ,appointee to the coop bank is absolutely the perfect example of edballs a militwit’s view of what banking in the UK should be about.

    • 248
      Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

      It was all Sue’s doing.

    • 251
      BBC Don't half talk some shite says:

      They’ve hire a chopper to go and fly over flood plains…that are..flooded. They call it climate change, the locals call it an annual event.

      • 260
        nell says:

        Medievel documents of 1484 report flooding of western and southern England exactly as it is happening now. Are labour really going to try and claim this is modern AGW? If they do – they are complete idiots!!

        • 285
          The silly little fool says:

          Ed Miliband stated that climate change was categorically caused by mankind.
          Incredible that he remains totally unscathed by such a comment.

        • 297
          Medieval Labour says:

          The town of Winchelsea was drowned by the sea in 1287 after a series of storms over a period of some 50 years. Undoubtedly the result of Tories burning charcoal too far too fast.

          • Someone says:

            People seem unaware to the extent that large swathes of the country were under water for large parts of the year in the middle ages and earlier, and as to how many of our inland towns were actually considered ports in the past.

        • 335
          Ben says:

          Don’t forget Milliband left the climate change conference in tears a few years ago.
          What an utter dick

    • 336
      Ben says:

      Well said

  53. 233
    That's my Persil whats yours? says:

    Police in Australia have rescued a naked man who got stuck inside a washing machine while playing a game of hide-and-seek.

    The man reportedly hid inside the top-loading machine so he could surprise his partner.

    But he became stuck and it took 20 minutes for rescuers to dislodge him using olive oil as a lubricant.

    Firefighters, paramedics and a search-and-rescue squad were also called to help with the situation.

    The incident took place on Saturday in Mooroopna town, north of Melbourne, in Victoria state.

  54. 245
    Tuchas says:

    Labour think that we should be taxed to death to pay for these people to have Sky+, KFC & fags. That’s why I’m a Conservative.

  55. 249
    Arse über tit says:

    First Herr Shoemaker and now Frau Merkel tumble over on the piste. Who next?

  56. 252
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    This is an interesting read:


    Communist subversion of the Catholic Church, written by ex US Communist Party of America national council member Bella Dodd.

    Speaks about plot back in the 30s to subvert the Church by introducing a large number of priests into the Church in order to destroy from within. The end game being for some of these men to reach the upper echelons.

    Interesting given P’ope Francis’ somewhat Marxist exhortation delivered at the end of last year.

    The P’ope denies being a Marxist:


    • 257
      nell says:

      What has happened to militwit and bullyballs? They have completely dropped off the media chart and no-one has heard of them for days. Why is that?!

      • 261
        Stephanie Flanders says:
        • 266
          Joss Taskin says:

          Why is Lard Pressclott kissing Red Ed ?

        • 268
          Duty Pedant says:

          There is a difference between MILF and UNIT.

          • Podiceps says:

            MILF is well known, but what’s a UNIT? Ugly Nerd I’d Take?

          • Duty Pedant says:

            From the Urban Dictionary:

            4. Unit
            1> someone who is indescribable.
            2> some one so fucked up, & complicated that they can only be described by the word UNIT
            eg: That xxx is a bit of a unit.

            This can also be used to refer to an ‘ugly bird’.

            There is further irony potential if a silent ‘e’ is added.

          • FFS says:

            I don’t think she is a unit. Looks more like a large kitchen appliance with a blokes wig balanced on top.

          • Mong the Miliband says:

            That’s no way to speak about the leader of the Labour party. :-)

        • 289
          nell says:

          Oh that’s disgusting. He should have had the sensibility to have avoided that!

          Talk about a mileycyrus moment!!

      • 267
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        Balls was on earlier, lying through his teeth with non blinking clear eyes, saying that he never claimed there would be multi-dip recessions.

        Miliband was trying to give a UKIP speech about immigration earlier today, trying to claim that Labour has a policy to stop employers preferring cheaper Labour.

        I think Miliband has got a union conference thing coming up soon – like next week or so. (Not sure if TUC, or Unite… was advertised as being a catch-22 for him on some issues last year)

        Both should perhaps be consulting legal counsel over the Co-Op thing, and perhaps a little bit the Falkirk scandal.

        • 281
          nell says:

          Since UNITE are actively seeking unemployed romanians/bulgarians as members and offering support in seeking welfare benefits , militwit needs to be careful not to upset his master ed mcclusky in any forthcoming speech.

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            That’s the gist of his catch-22.

            The fact that it is Labour who are losing more votes to UKIP seals the trap.

            Either way he plays it he is stuffed.

            This of course is ignoring his own vote losing character which is itself causing support to leave.

            UKIP are picking up the lion share of disaffected Labour voters, but so to are the Lib Dems and Conservatives.

    • 321
      FFS says:

      Well they used the same approach to infiltrate just about everywhere else.

  57. 271
    Tristram Hunt says:

    The first YouGov/Sun daily poll of 2014 has LAB with an eight point lead
    CON 32%
    LAB 40%
    LD 9%
    UKP 12%

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

  58. 302
    Fishy says:

    Odd that when the BBC have a welfare debate with a Labour spokesman (e.g. the de-bearded Paxo with the hopeless Leslie tonight) they never press them on the announcement made by Foghorn Reeves that they will include the State Pension in the benefit cap.

    Presumably this means that anyone who has saved for an occupational will have wasted their money as their state pension will be reduced or even lost altogether, under Labour’s plans.

    • 303
      Fishy says:

      Occupational pension

      • 337
        Ben says:

        The BBC never ask the questions I want and they should ask Labour. They always frill Tories and when the interviewer has cast the Tory in the worst light possible fails to allow an answer and asks the next question. Meanwhile Balls is allowed to spout utter shite and gets away with it

        End the telly left wing tax NOW !!

    • 352
      An Actuary says:

      As most people aren’t going to have occupational pensions… look at the numbers.

  59. 304
    Bin Effiz Khalidmen says:


  60. 311
    Sweeney Todd says:

    Cam needs a UKIP skinhead

  61. 313
    altruism in industry says:

    we are here, waiting.
    We are always here, all we can do is wait with patience, our love is boundless, our patience is unlimited.
    3 generations, 10 generations it makes no difference, time passing can only bring us closer because we are the same.
    grasp the opportune time in history, come back to our bosom.
    Join with us and affirm our common destiny. negotiate a new UNITED Kingdom outside of the EU

    • 317
      altruism in industry says:

      Our hearts is what motivates us not the mystical heart, Shed that shit, join with us and affirm our common destiny outside of the EU in a UNITED Kingdom

  62. 316
    Sweeny says:

    How come Osborne’s barber didn’t get a gong?

    • 322
      altruism in industry says:

      contributions to follicles are not recognized like contributions to getting high are not usually recognized in the same way as ” Oh is that my spliff ?”
      “fucking hand over the spliff you fucking hippy”
      ” woww man, look at all the colours, who brought the chicken ?”
      ” fucking weh hey is that the biggest pair you ever saw or what ?”

    • 378
      Ali Baba and the Ch 4 bozos says:

      These utterly discredited and now meaningless gongs are handed out like plastic submarines with the cornflakes. Anybody offered one should just tell ‘em where to stick it.

      • 382
        altruism in industry says:

        would that be the plastic submarine that you filled with baking soda which sank and then rose as some sort of chemical reaction took place ? and there was a plastic little fellow in the full deep sea helmet and suit.

  63. 325
    Reader says:

    Mr Brogan is particularly poor today. His latest piece about David Cameron starts thus:

    ‘In the mind of David Cameron, broken promises carry a particular toxicity.’ The phrase ‘cast iron’ sprang immediately to mind, followed by the word ‘crap’.


    • 338
      Ben says:

      Cast iron if Brown did not sign Lisbong against the will of the people. Lefties always forget that.
      Brown and Blair promised a referendum but snatched it away and signed up via the back door instead. If you wish to direct your anger anywhere it is there it should be directed.

      • 340
        albacore says:

        Make as many excuses as you like
        It’s time the whole gang of them took a hike
        They’ve had decades to grant an E U vote
        The scumbags would just as soon slit your throat
        Exactly the same on immigration
        Their sole policy is defecation
        Dumping on us from a very great height
        Democracy flushed down and out of sight

      • 361
        Mr Potato Head says:

        You don’t need to be a lefty to see how all the Liblabcon-men have betrayed the country.

      • 370
        FFS says:

        Bullcrap. The questions was, do the people want to be part of an EU as defined by the Lisbon Treaty? This question is equally valid whether we are actually in a post-Lisbon EU or a pre-Lisbon EU, and the impact of a yes or no answer is exactly the same.

        He cheated us out of a referendum and all Tories know it. He’ll never get my vote.

  64. 331
    Onion Terror says:

    Meanwhile, Dirty David Cameron staggers on……..

  65. 333
    Mike Portaloo says:

    You’ve heard of french kissing in the USA? Well I’m more of a bumming in Morocco kinda guy….

  66. 339
    Donk says:

    I am sickened by the pictures of the striking barristers this morning

    is there no end to the left wing parasites?

    someone has to PAY THEIR WAGES

    that is why i am going to work at 6.00 am to my private sector job

    • 342
      Georgie Osborne's Blue and White Army says:

      We have a legal aid system the envy of the world.

      • 346
        Paul Petrocelli says:

        I used to work as a legal aid lawyer but gave it up years ago because the writing was on the wall and probably was on the wall since the time of Thatcher and “Bagpipes” Mackay who once came within one hour of introducing no fault divorce as part off a political deal (the then system still continues today).

        I now work for one client only.

        Life is a lot better simpler and more profitable when you just work for yourself .

        • 349
          T Max Rakim says:

          I am a lawyer and I gave up doing criminal Legal Aid work after I got married.

          My wife put her foot down when the phone kept ringing at 2.00 a.m in the morning including weekends.

    • 348
      Anonymous says:

      I heard the Minister of State for Legal Aid (who he?) on the radio yesterday saying that barristers are not exempt from the country’s economic hard times, and that they will have to do more with less. Why didn’t the softy BBC interviewer ask him how much hardship MPs are enduring, with their 11% pay rise on the horizon? When are they going to lose their gold-plated pensions?

      • 350
        An angry taxpaying pleb says:

        I heard 10% of all MPs are out of a job come the next election.

        • 369
          FFS says:

          It costs £10,000 on each side to settle a minor dispute between husband and wife in the family courts. One side normally gets legal aid.

          It is a money making scam of epic proportions, pure and simple.

          The legal profession have been scamming the public since medieval times and the whole thing needs to be radically revised.

          • Liga Laid says:

            How about we start by stringing up every tenth one we come across – unless they can properly/convincingly justify the necessity of charging 500 quid an hour to tell us something most of us thought was the case in the first place.

  67. 341
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:


  68. 344
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:


  69. 351
    Tuchas says:

    In other news, it might help if I turn off the air conditioning…

  70. 354
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


  71. 355
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


  72. 356
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Is kidnapping not a criminal offence in France now?


    “Workers at a Goodyear tyre factory in Northern France have been holding two managers captive in a dispute over plans to close the plant.

    The director of production at the plant in Amiens, Michel Dheilly and human resources chief, Bernard Glaser have not been allowed to leave the plant.”

  73. 357
    Cynic says:

    In the absence of a good war these idiots breed and go into politics

  74. 364
    The Slog says:

    George Nobsore has written a projectile vomit-inducing appeal for Timothy Yeo MP to be allowed to retain his seat in the House of Commons. In the letter, Britain’s No Two Executive member describes Yeo as a “politician of principle” and someone who is “experienced, conscientious, thoughtful, loyal and steady under fire.” Writing to Yeo personally, he tells this sleazy, verminous man, “It would be a real loss to the House of Commons if you were forced to stand down when you still have so much to contribute. The Conservative Party at Westminster would be weaker without you.”

    • 381
      (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

      Left out “bent, grasping, lying shith**se who will do anything to enrich himself and his cronies via stupid unworkable renewable energy schemes”.

      • 383
        Ali Baba and the CH 4 bozos says:

        These two postings should be copied to every single voter/household in his constituency. Let’s hope suits maintain their decision to chop him off the list.

  75. 365
    P l e b says:

    So a fully independent committee with no outside political influence decided to award an MBE to Cameron’s barber, according to the government? Perhaps the committee just happens, coincidentally, to be made up exclusively of barbers.

    • 366
      ukip.i.am.not says:

      It is a sad state of affairs when we are expected to regard the recipients of these awards as “honoured” when it is well nigh impossible to think of anything they might have done to warrant them. There are few (if any) surgeons, physicians, members of the emergency/rescue services or voluntary workers sitting in the lords. Instead the house is stuffed to the rafters with failed and/or disgraced politicians, party donors and those who have paid for their titles. The whole system has become so debased that the medals are now as sought after as the plastic “gifts” to be found in cereal packets.

      • 380
        Ali Baba and the CH 4 bozos says:

        Great mind think alike. I said that ^^ up there before I read your entry.

    • 367
      David "my hair isn't that great anyway" Cameron says:

      Well public spending needed to take a haircut.

      It was at that point that the selection of people for awards got out of control…

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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