December 30th, 2013

New Year Honours Establishment Cronyism
Troughing MPs, Spinners, Aides and Donors Bunged Gongs

Establishment cronyism at its most cynical in tonight’s New Year honours. The party leaders have rewarded expenses scandal hit MPs, spinners, aides, party donors and lobbyists, also buttering up potential candidates and local party association bosses. Their cronyism in full:

  • Sir Alan Parker – shadowy CEO of lobbying firm Brunswick. Gordon Brown is godfather to his son, he is a Labour donor. Has also holidayed with Cameron.
  • Karren Brady CBE – Cameron adviser on fiscal matters who has previously been arrested twice on suspicion of fraud and money laundering. In the running for a Tory seat.
  • Sir Kevin “Morally” Barron – Labour MP and head of the troughers’ union, the standards committee that lets off money-grabbing MPs. Watch Guido’s ding dong with him here.
  • Sir Peter Luff – Tory MP who bought three loo seats, three food mixers, two microwaves and ten sets of bed linen for his country house. Rent-swapper extraordinaire.
  • Marion Dowdings OBE and Simon Mort OBE – deputy chair of Cameron’s local party and chair of its supper club, and president of the Oxford West Conservatives, respectively. See what Dave did there.
  • Sir Keir Starmer – New Miliband adviser currently being lined up for a Labour seat. Well it can hardly be for his work at the Crown Prosecution Service, can it.
  • Peter Emmerson Jones OBE – has given tens of thousands of pounds to Osborne’s local party.
  • Lady Patricia Hobson OBE –  another big money Tory donor.
  • Emma Pidding CBE – chairman of the National Conservative Convention. C’mon.

This is why people hate politics.


111 Comments

  1. 1
    Nonjob says:

    They’re all in this troughgether!

    • 14
      AM says:

      Ma says forget me.

      A stands up.
      out of loyalty it swaps M for the next.
      a bit of restructuring changes M to N.
      so AM becomes AN.
      an. loyalty to the language cums.
      the first. it is . an extends to ana.
      ana na na na ana na na aja jaanannananana a anna. joyful. bit nnja or was TH ninja. the bored says nah, the board directs. we drop the ah. at board level no surprise. so ana dutifully takes the spare n on board.
      hmmm,
      the dead come to life and jumos,
      says jumash. in line with the globslot whave de,
      time to embrve d.
      ana and.
      in tthe world of joind up thin, t becomes d. an@an. if the truth is dear, the end is near. left an or righ an.

      • 110
        olden1936 says:

        I’m baffled by BBC received English pronounciation such as: ‘an historic occasion’
        when most words that start with a consonant are preceded by ‘a’ not ‘an’ for example we don’t say ‘an’ horse, so why say ‘an’ historic? But I confess I enjoy bananas.

    • 30
      dai laudingly says:

      they look like characters in a j b priestley skit on mid 20th century british provincial society – a full head of self-esteem, seedy, on-the-take and very lightweight

      quite appropriate – the denizens of royal Witney houston approve heartily

    • 42
      Kenn Nesbitt says:

      Mr. Brown, the circus clown
      puts his clothes on upside down.
      He wears his hat upon his toes
      and socks and shoes upon his nose.

      He ties his ties around his thighs
      and wraps his belt around his eyes.
      He hangs his earrings from his hips
      and stockings from his fingertips.

      He puts his glasses on his feet
      and shirt and coat around his seat.
      And when he’s dressed, at last he stands
      and walks around upon his hands.

    • 56
      Flaccid O'Toole says:

      Once a Knight should be enough.

    • 97

      Gongs for Bungs.

      Disgusting fcuking bastard looters and moochers.

      Their penal-colony will be on the South Sandwich islands – one of the smaller ones, further out. On there, there’ll be nothing of what they don’t like, and they can enjoy each other.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Fucking scum the lot of them..Ends

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    Was karen Brady convicted of those offences?

    • 18
      Dave P says:

      Why would Guido care about facts or convictions (he can generate an arrest now but it doesn’t mean anyone is guilty of anything) – insinuation and accusations will do for him.

    • 38
      Bemused says:

      She was convicted of fraudulently living off a false reputation related to running a small business when in fact she was born of rich parents and has actually done fuck all.

      She was sentenced to 5 years derision by the court of public opinion.

    • 49

      People can say what they like. Football clubs are not proper businesses.

      • 98
        Anonymous says:

        AN AGONY AUNT WRITES ::

        People have been calling me ‘Scrooge’ because I got spotted in Poundland

        Dear Holly,

        People have been calling me ‘Scrooge’ because I got spotted shopping in Poundland recently. I’m not bothered about the name calling, I’ve been called worse in my time, but I am concerned that my wife will have seen the photos in the papers and will realise her luxury mini spanner set and jumbo pack of Bodyform Ultra aren’t really from Selfridges. The magic of Christmas is potentially ruined. How can I fix it?

        John Terry

        Surrey

        Dear John,

        Just ignore the nasty people calling you names, and focus on the real meaning of Christmas. If Jesus was alive today the three wise men would probably buy their gifts in Poundland too, and Mary would buy all the family clothes from George at Asda, and they’d all spend Christmas Day eating Iceland party platters in a Premier Inn. In the end all that matters is that we buy lots and lots of cheap products which we don’t really want, and eat nets full of chocolate coins until we puke.

        Hope that helps!

        Holly

  4. 4
    Pick litter for bennies says:

    650+PLUS expenses=one big joke.We need HOL culling .

  5. 5
    Kebab Time says:
    • 9
      The British media are cunts says:

      Fuck off you dozy bitch, all you’ve done is flog knickers and help run two football teams into the ground.

      Where is the knighthood for Peter Higgs?

      • 36
        Bemused says:

        I think you’re mixing her up with that Scottish blonde bimbo. Brady has never sold knickers as far as I’m aware.

        Brady was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and then seems to have simply got her face associated with business. As far as I can make out she hasn’t actually done anything excpe tlook pretty at the right times.

        • 59
          broderick crawford says:

          PRETTY ??

          ARE YOU COMPLETELY BLIND??

          SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ANCIENT MONASTIC GARGOYLE

          BUT SHE S RICH SO THAT GOOD LOOKING ITALIAN HUSBAND OF HERS GOT HIS GONADS IN THE TILL QUICK .

          • East India Company Wallah says:

            The husband is canadian
            She worked for the Gold brothers (cheap lingerie for chav slags) and David Sullivan (porn n sex toys)

      • 37
        Anonymous says:

        You mean the Companion of Honour that he got last year, which is higher than a knighthood! Dozy Hunt!

      • 87
        Aristander of Telmissus says:

        I believe that Higgs turned a knighthood down, several years ago

    • 12
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      Looks like the MSM has been bigging her up for so long now that she believes her own bullshit, what self righteous sanctimonious cow.

    • 31
      Blowing Whistles says:

      DC&KB – summit up there?

    • 43
      Porn Actress says:

      Thanks you, Karen, for allowing me to take off my clothes, shave off my pubes so I look like a child, and have blokes spunk off into my face after slapping my arse in that rather odd porn way during sex.
      There’s no business like ho business!

    • 45
      P,o,r,n Actress says:

      Thank You, Karen, for giving me the opportunity to shave off my pubes so I look like a child, get shafted rather uncomfortably up my Cameron by a stranger who slapped my Aris’ in that rather odd p-o-rn vid way they do, and then have him sp.unk off in my face as the highlight.

      There’s no business like ho business! Girl Power!

      • 106
        Enough is enough says:

        This blog is fucked guido,too many puffs an queers.Time you called it a day sweetheart xxxx

    • 52
      chris says:

      Cameron tory promoting equality…they are not right wing conservatives at all are they?

    • 89
  6. 6
    Black Rod says:

    Right wing political blooger,Guido Fawkes & tweeter extraordinaire,Owen Jones overlooked in New Year’s Honours.

  7. 8
    time 2 CTL ALT & DEL says:

    Don’t forget the overpaid media and farts lovies.

  8. 10
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Bust those porkie bastardos!

    • 55
      bulbona says:

      lickshetic.

      time for the owner of the cat, the motion being that this house believes that cat should be put down.it has been loyal. it has been hit by a 800 lb gorilla Nd it is i n pain. before it dies ebery member of the house should queue and lick its lip. The cemony needs to be awful as it is a sombre ocassion.

      long live the cat, for the cat is ‘ead

      signed edmun hill.
      from behind the iron ron ron ron ron.
      o twich the curtain.

      as a democrat though the wish of the universe should not go unnoticed.

      cat u the man who sounds Ill.

  9. 11
    Pick litter for bennies says:

    HOL reform.Maybe the Lib dems where right for once?.

    • 19
      Podiceps says:

      No, it would result in even more disgusting slime being brought in.

    • 21
      haNa says:

      ah
      an
      ninja.ninja,
      nono to nono.
      yesja.
      forget jc. even jic
      froget joyce.
      even joyce
      think JOY ce. spcece.
      forget soecs, forget pecs.
      the power is in the fittifirshstate.
      FFS.
      f or f.

  10. 13
    Posh Spicy says:

    Shame my David didn’t get honoured. I could have posed and pouted even more.

  11. 16
    Vazoline says:

    Where is the knighthood I have been expecting and have earned after doing so much for my countrymen?

  12. 17
    The British media suck the cock of whoever is in power says:

    Why have we not heard of this blatant troughing on the BBC?

  13. 20
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Where is Flowers’ gong for ser vices to banking and religion?

  14. 22
    Nemesis says:

    It’s time this ludicrous and discredited system was scrapped. Most of these twats are wankers of the lowest creep order. Almost everyone of them are arse lickers.

  15. 23
    Blowing Whistles says:

    How fucking big an army do we need to lock up 650 MP’s, 43 Chief Constables and 200 or so judges?

    • 62
      broderick crawford says:

      TALKING OF CHIEF CONSTABLES ….

      HEARD THE ONE ABOUT SOME RETARD CHIEF CONSTZBLE IN THE MORONIC NORTH GOING AGAINST HIS MANDATED JOB DESCRIPTION AND ADVOCATING IMMUNITY FOR SINGLE MUM CHAVS FOR THIEVING FROM SUPERMARKETS .

      DUNCAN BARKING MAD OF LBC YESTERDAY EVENING WAS SUPPORTING HIM ADVOCATING ON NATIONAL RADIO THAT IT IS LEGAL FOR CHAV CHAIN SMOKING , WHISKY SWILLING ONE NIGHT STANDER HO S WHO HAVE SPROGS TO RAID SUPERMARKETS TO GET BASIC FOODSTUFFS AND NOT CHARGED.

      ER HELLO ?? EVER HEARD OF MAKING YOUR BENNIES LAST BY LIVING ON BREAD AND CHEESE. ? EVER HEARD OF GIVING UP TEQUILA , DUNHILL CIGARETTES AND SATURDAY NIGHT CHAV OUTINGS TO GET LAID SO HOPEFULLY YOU WILL GENERATE YET ANOTHER STATE DEOENDENT ??

      AND BTW WHERE IS ABSENT FATHER IN ALL THIs ……. CONTRIBUTING HIS WAGES OR BENNIES TO BRINGING UP JUNIORS ??

      OR WERE YOU SO STONED YOU CANNOT REMEMBER GETTING SCREWED NEVER MIND WHO BY ??

      • 63
        broderick crawford says:

        GUIDO … TEL ME THE WORDS I NEED TO ERASE TO MAKE MY COMMENT MODDY ACCEPTABLE AND I WILL CONSIDER ….

        HOWEVER YOU KNOW AND WE ALL KNOW THAT WHAT I AM SAYING IS TRUE AND ONLY BANNED FROM GENERAL EXPOSURE BY BOX TICKING POLITICAL CORRECTNESS .

        BRING BACK THE LAUNDRIES AND THE ORPHANAGES I AND MANY OTHERS SAY .

        • 102
          Broderick Crawford says:

          WELL DONE GUIDO AND MODDY FOR FINALLY ALLOWING 62 .

          I RETRACT CALLING YOU A COWARD IN ITALIAN .

          HAPPY NEW YEAR

  16. 25
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Off with their heads Brenda.

  17. 32
    Why? says:

    Why do we vote in pencil?

    I’ve been voting a long time
    One has to down here
    We vote for these people
    Though we’re never too clear
    As to whether they’re lying
    Or telling the truth
    That they’re mostly dishonest
    The past is the proof.

    One question I ask, though
    Is, why is this so?
    [And as I think longer
    The question does grow]
    Why is it they make us?
    With pencil to write
    It maybe that they think
    That we’re not to bright

    For pencil is easy
    For then to erase
    And me, I distrust them
    I’ve heard of their ways
    So I think about voting
    And what it’s about
    Then this question of pencils
    It fills me with doubt

    Peter Duggan

  18. 34
  19. 35
    Anonymous says:

    i’ll bung your dong

  20. 39
    Sulo Han Job says:

    Badges of dishonour

  21. 41
    Gary J says:

    No obvious Liberal Democrat names on the list. Is Dave not speaking to Nick these days?

    • 77
      Pompey Voter says:

      Don’t forget that even Handy got a CBE some time ago – for services to his constituents?

  22. 44

    All exceptionally devoted people who have acted with single-minded purpose and conducted themselves entirely to their own satisfaction.

  23. 47
    Emma Piddling CBE – chairman of the National Conservative Convention says:

    Oh gawd!

    It only brings attention to my name, not distracts from it

  24. 48
    Silly Bercow says:

    Faarking slaaags. wot di they do 2 get an honors? I’m a right class bird and dead posh. my fellah is the spaeker of the ouse of commins and like a fuckin EARL or summut so I should be a propah lady innit wiv an obe or dame cos loads of toffs av and their finges in me minge not like them TOTAL trash slaaaagss

    • 50
      Wendy Deng says:

      You stay calm missee Bercow.
      Who need honour from poor queen will barely few birrion pound?
      Lady Posh mean nothing.
      You no give fuckee suckee for cheap medal. You give good fuckee suckee for big dorra. Big dorra buy many top harrod jewerry crowns.
      You learn from me sarry.
      Earl and Lord and Lady Posh, he pay big respect to woman with big dorra

    • 51
      Wendy Deng says:

      Who need honour from poor queen will barely few birrion pound?
      Lady Posh mean nothing.
      You no give fukee sukee for cheap medal. You give good fukee sukee for big dorra. Big dorra buy many top hallods juwerry crowns.
      You learn from me sarry.
      Earl and Lord and Lady Posh, he pay big respect to woman with big dorra

  25. 53
    Michael Barnbrook says:

    Where’s my Knighthood for bringing down all those corrupt MP’s in the Expenses Scandal?

  26. 54
    The Queen says:

    Nowt to do with me. I’ve just been living off the state for over 60 years and opened a few hospitals to make it look like I work. God save me. Fuck the rest of you.

    • 72
      Charlie the last says:

      With native Britons slotted to become a minority by 2066 (more likely sooner), does the monarchy seriously think it will survive long term?

  27. 57
  28. 58
  29. 60
    21stcnow says:

    What would we think of a country, say Germany, that awarded its people with
    an Empire medal given that Empire was wiped out 60 years ago? We’d think they were nuts. No?

  30. 64
    Taxfogger says:

    Truth is…..

    We deserve our MPs

    Most of all those cretins that toddle off down to the polls at every GE to give relevance to the corruption thievery and overall selfish stupidity we are stuck with.

    Turkeys voting for Christmas

  31. 65
    broderick crawford says:

    GUIDO …. SE NON HAI IL CORRAGGIO DI PUBBLICARE IL MIO COMMENTO SULLE TROIE SENZA MARITO SEI UN VIGLIACCO ….

  32. 66
    HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

    It is high time the whole bogus system of knighthoods ,peerages , medals and gongs issued in the name of an empire that ended 70 years ago,was finally kicked into touch
    The sad part about the present system is that the awards that have been made to those who deserved them have been debased by these political troughers being given similar recognition for doing nothing more than crawling up politicians arseholes

  33. 67
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    2024 it will be Sir Guido for services to cleansing the political establishment!

  34. 68
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Every party, no exception, all scum.

    (And don’t tell me Ukip will be any exception if they get the chance).

  35. 69
    Shurdyrover says:

    If I was Andy Murray I would not want to be associated with these crooks! Honours system is a joke- glad I turned mine down a few years ago when in military!
    Pete Tong who the fcuk is he? 99%. People. Do not know him
    Humbug

    • 73
      Anonymous says:

      Why didnt Andy Murray get a knighthood ? if those weirdos who ride bikes around in circles get them, surely Andy should ?

      • 92
        Cinna says:

        I believe he received an MBE last year. You don’t get awards in consecutive years. He should have played the game like other worthies do and turned down the lesser honour in hopes of getting a higher one sooner.

    • 75
      Red hot poker says:

      Mr Tong should be scuttled along with the rest of the BBC.

  36. 70
    Dave and George That's another fine mess you got me into says:

    It’s about time the Real people of this country , stood up to this bull shit of troughers honouring troughers and their friends

  37. 76
    Richard Baron says:

    Low motives are not new. The following story is in Henry Sidgwick, Practical Ethics, essay 7, page 196 of the 1909 edition.

    … I am reminded of Lord Melbourne’s answer to a friend whom he consulted, when premier, as to the bestowal of a vacant garter. His friend said, “Why not take it yourself? no one has a better claim.” “Well, but,” said Lord Melbourne “I don’t see what I am to gain by bribing myself.”

  38. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t forget Julia Slingo, rewarded for keeping her Met Office minions firmly On Message, vital for propping up the renewables scam.

  39. 79
    Jess The Dog says:

    The only honours with any relevance are the civil service and military honours awarded on a time served basis or with a rank. The rest are a complete irrelevance as no one outside these worlds could care less, and we cannot be made to care. The age of deference died in the 1960s and the only people with honour are those who discreetly refuse these tawdry baubles.

  40. 80
    21stcnow says:

    Don’t you get the distinct feeling reading this blog that the UKIPpers sense they have lost the argument, the plot, and being on the right side of history? O well another Lost Cause hits the dust.

    • 85
      Gorumba says:

      No. I get the distinct feeling from reading your comments all over the blogosphere that it worries you and your comrades terribly that not everyone is on message with your Common Purpose “21stcnow” vision for Britain. Someone else thought he was on the “right side of history” from 1933 to 1945. He wasn’t.

      Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis.

  41. 81
    Gordon "saves" Banks says:

    Nowt for Beckham own goal. Not posh neither.

  42. 82
    geordieboy says:

    Keir Starmer CPS ” Can’t Prosecute Service” Potential Labour MP, another waster in the ranks of the useless boot fillers.

    • 86
      Gorumba says:

      Unbelievable that Grieve tolerated this Labour cuckoo in the nest and facilitated his pursuit of Labour politics by other means in the CPS. The strategic stupidity of that is now apparent as Starmer shows his true colours. Unfortunately we have not heard the last of Starmer when it comes to politicising justice.

  43. 84
    Aristander of Telmissus says:

    You have, inexplicably, left off that self-satisfied, gin-soaked, pompous plonker, “Sir” Richard Ottaway. He is the living embodiment of the phrase: delusions of adequacy.

  44. 90
    England Cricket Team says:

    Why have we been left out?

  45. 93
    Jess The Dog says:

    CPS = “Couldn’t Prosecute Satan”

  46. 103
    Tracey Mount-Temple says:

    Why ain’t my darlin Prezza got an ‘onour?

  47. 108
    No such thing as Happy New Year in Edinburgh shitty. Same Auld leeching Tripe! Same Auld Leeching tripe Same Auld leeching Tripe etc for all eternity says:

    Blair Cronyism, Brown Cronyism now Cameron Cronyism. Labour upset the balance as did Brown. It will take thousands upon thousands of Cameron’s cronies to readress the balance. HNY x

  48. 111


Seen Elsewhere

Another Feminist Lecture | Laura Perrins
UKIP Posters Bad Economics But Good Politics | James Delingpole
Tories Losing to UKIP in Scotland | ConHome
UKIPers Will Come Home in 2015 | Sun
Tories Set for Thrashing | Sun
Boris Announcement Imminent | Sun
The Case for Splitting Up CCHQ | ConservativeHome
Why UKIP Should Join a ‘European Union’. | Anna Raccoon
Dave’s Brush With Bed Bugs | Speccie
Farage: No Briton Could Be My Secretary | BBC
Dave and George Can Now Be Seen Together | Ben Brogan


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