December 27th, 2013

Piers Morgan Under Fire


  1. 1
    Ray Lindwall says:

    Lee should have learned from the giants and given that Pommie poofter some real bodyline!


    • 8
      Gordon says:

      Piers made me cry. I still didn’t get elected so I cried again.

      Has anyone seen Sarah?


      • 75

        At last a new thread – I will be commenting soon.


        • 99
          Chinky Davey says:

          Oh yay! The world’s biggest spunk bubble will be posting yet another pointless, unfunny, cringe worthy, embarrassing abortion of a comment that the rest of us will not give two fucks about. Save yourself the time and go have another wank into a crusty sock over a crumpled jizz flecked photo of Kelly Brook in a week old copy of the Daily Star you utter fucking mong.

          Merry Fucking Crimbo.


        • 100
          Chinky Davey says:

          Oh yay! The world’s biggest spu/nk bubble will be posting yet another pointless, unfunny, cringe worthy, embarrassing ab0rtion of a comment that the rest of us will not give two fucks about. Save yourself the time and go have another wank into a crusty sock over a crumpled j!zz flecked photo of Kelly Brook in a week old copy of the Daily Star you utter fucking m0ng.

          Merry Fucking Crimbo.


        • 101
          Chinky Davey says:

          Fucking Guido has the moderators set to utter tard today. Third time lucky you fat paddy shit st@bber?
          Oh yay! The world’s biggest sp’u’nk b’ubble will be posting yet another pointless, unfunny, cringe worthy, embarrassing ab0rti0n of a comment that the rest of us will not give two fucks about. Save yourself the time and go have another w@nk into a crusty sock over a crumpled j!zz flecked photo of Ke//y Br00k in a week old copy of the D’aily St@r you utter fucking m0ng.

          Merry Fucking Crimbo.


        • 112

          I was driving through the Tauern Tunnel when my pathetic sockpuppet wrote this.


    • 92
      Anonymong says:

      Piers: Hey Guido why are you so fat?

      GF: Coz everytime I fuck your wife she gives me a cookie.


  2. 2
    piers fan says:

    Brett is a fat fuCk


    • 13
      like Guido says:

      Fat Guido needs to shed a lot of FAT.

      Even “the chief executive of Tesco has privately lobbied the Government to bring in a law to tackle obesity.

      Philip Clarke has told Jeremy Hunt, the Health Secretary, that legislation might be required to “level the playing field” with restaurants, takeaways, cinemas and other retailers.”

      So us the blog readers must take responsibility. Guido go and weigh yourself, measure yourself, keep a diary of your consumption, wear a pedometer.


      • 25
        Silly point says:

        Everyone at the BBC should be compelled to wear a pædometer.


      • 64
        Tesco says:

        We big supermarkets love stupid legislation because we have the systems to deal with it wheras the small shops don’t


      • 67
        Food Watch says:

        If you want to shed a lot of weight safely:

        1: Eliminate wheat / processed foods from diet
        2: Eliminate high fat foods – eg Cripsps / most meat
        3: Stop smoking (taking in nicotine)
        4: Avoid all artificial sweetners (Inc diet drinks – have the full sugar subject to the next exclusion)
        5: Avoid products containing corn syrup
        6: Avoid MSG

        1: Steamed vegetables
        2: Curries (use lentil as base not cornflower for thickening)
        3: Fruit: Pineapple / Papaya and Coconut regularly
        4: Seafood : Mussels / Clams / Cockels – for low fat B12 source.
        5: Small portion of rice / potato with meal
        6: Flax seed / oil – can be cooked in or added to yogurt with honey


        Avoid all oil except either olive or coconut. Avocado is good in small quantities. Alcohol and caffeine intake should be reduced also: Alcohol exclusion for a couple of monthswould help balance restore.

        Trick is to rebalance blood sugar / insulin cycle and coax the body into burning off the fat reserves while maintaining balanced diet. Reducing intake of fats and increasing certain fruit intake helps coax fat reserve use. Cutting wheat / MSG / nicotine / alcohol / caffeine will sort out insulin / blood sugar problems and improve cognitive.
        Do that for a few weeks and the pounds will drop off and one will feel much clearer in body and mind. Exercise is optional.


    • 14
      Anonymous says:

      Is that you Celia?

      Surely you must have some pointless article to be writing for someone.


      • 98
        altruism in industry says:

        My fitness pal App is supposed to be quite good to help burn more calories than ingesting.


  3. 3
    Twerpometer says:

    What a twerp! 10 out of 10 on the twerpometer!

    Surely Celia must realise the enormity of her mistake by now!


  4. 4
    GORDO says:



  5. 5
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    “Ward bowls to Glenn Turner, short, ooh! And it catches him high up on the, er, thigh. That really must have hurt as he’s doubled over in pain.”

    He then spoke for a couple of minutes before the game resumed. “Well, he’s bravely going to carry on … but he doesn’t look too good … One ball left.”


  6. 6
    Roger The lodger says:

    I’ll miss the Colemanballs


  7. 7
    Denis Macshame says:

    My arse is under fire.


  8. 8
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    No need to thank me Guido
    But at least it got the thread changed


  9. 11
    Anonymous says:

    That Anna Soubry has a point about Farage:


  10. 12
    Piers' Broken Rib says:


    Every one a no ball. If you were of a suspicious mind, you might conclude that Brett Lee was just concentrating on knocking his head off and wasn’t too bothered about the deliveries being legitimate.


    • 22
      Anon. says:

      ALL no balls should have been retaken.Also he should have had his feet nailed down to stop him running in the corner.


  11. 17
    Burn Labour Burn says:

    Every day it’s the same headlines. A bombing in Iraq, an explosion in Afghanistan, an attack in Syria, a bombing in some other Islamic country. The perverse irony of the left’s approbation of anyone who dares to point out the violence entrenched in Islam is that it’s mainly muslims themselves who are victims of this ideology on a daily basis.

    I’m quite sick and tired of seeing the same headlines every day. I have compassion for the women and children in that region, but there’s nothing I can do to stop the havoc. The culture of suicide bombing is deeply ingrained in muslim men and it destroys lives every day. That’s what makes the left look so stupid in this context. Whilst they love to blame the West for everything under the sun, they’re deathly quiet when it comes to atrocities committed by muslims against muslims. The likes of Stop the War never talk about those acts of violence.


    • 20
      Burn Labour Burn says:


    • 84
      The Labour Party says:

      Look we rely on these arseholes for 25% of our vote, so we just do as they say.

      We don’t like it anymore than you do but white people just refuse to vote for us, the bigots.

      We need to get elected to put our socialist dreams into action. I am sure it will all work out fine when we have achieved our dream of a communist utopia. Yes, we know communism has been a disaster in every other country where it has been tried, but that was the wrong kind of communism.

      The end justifies the means. That’s what we believe anyway, and we’ve been believing it so long we are frightened to change.


  12. 19
    I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

    Lee should have glued a picture of Clarksons gurning mug to the ball….


    • 124
      Anonymous says:

      Yes that would have been a sure-fire way of getting the ball to make the ball to head directly to Piers’ face.


  13. 23
    A cad and a bounder says:

    Tell me, chaps, who among you has a wife blessed with a bountiful bosom? I am a connoisseur of fine mammaries and enjoy nothing more than the simple pleasures of a soapy J Arthur from a lady with large breasts. If your spouse is a DD cup, send her my way posthaste.


  14. 24
    Ric"Tally Ho" Holden CCHQ says:

    With 80% opposed to fox hunting nothing more epitomises Tories being out of touch than the support of ministers for the Boxing Day Hunt.


    • 29
      Urban Fox says:

      That poll was taken by the league against cruel sports and filled in by a few “eco” city dwellers. Ask the same questions around these parts and the result would be reversed.

      The Guardianista townie elite dictate should not dictate what country folk can and can not do.


    • 46
      Anonymous says:

      That’s 80% of the 2% that have an opinion. The other 92% don’t give a damn!


      • 76
        Monica says:

        The answers from the other 6% were “lost”


        • 79

          I see no problem for those who against fox hunting it’s quite simple don’t go hunting …………..problem solved!!!


          • Jim says:

            It’s nothing to do with fox hunting!
            It’s all about Class to these people.
            Meanwhile percentages are such fun – you can get any answer that avoids the truth, just ask the BBC.


    • 85
      FFS says:

      And who paid the piper?


  15. 26
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Group of climate change experts stuck on a cruse ship trapped in ice in the arctic
    awaiting rescue by a Chinese icebreaker ship

    Climate change experts ? well they didn’t predict that the arctic might freeze

    Fuckin wasters


    • 39
      Mr Eco-Loony says:

      We went to the Antarctic expecting to find no ice and lots of drowning polar bears. But instead we found lots of ice and no polar bears. Perhaps the bears had already drowned. Only with lots of research funding paid for by Green Taxes can we hope to find an answer.


    • 80

      What a shame the Russians let those greenlunies out of gaol , a year or two in a logging camp in Murmansk might have brought home to the idiots the advantages of having access the the worlds boundless supplies of ‘ fossil fuels’ .


  16. 27
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    cruise even


  17. 28
    Nigel's Red Barrel says:

    It was a tennis ball.


  18. 32
    Nemesis says:

    PIty he wasn’t bowling with a hard ball. And what a fat fucker has Pies Morgan has developed into.


    • 38
      I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

      I thought the Aussies had taken to using the ‘Duke’ ball rather than the plasticky ‘Kookaburra’.


  19. 37
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    What a wonderful culture India is

    You see a woman you fancy , tell her you are going to marry her
    if she refuses/ spurns you throw acid in her face and melt it , so no one else will want her

    Experts say , India is the Worst country in the world to be a woman

    A campaign has been launched to “reduce” the amount of acid they can buy


    • 47
      Suttee and Sweep says:

      Surely the best aspect of their rich cultural identity (which is in no way inferior to our lesser stupid evil Western culture, shame be upon it) is that funky old habit of chucking a bloke’s distraught widow onto this funeral pyre.


    • 81

      You are omitting the ‘ M ‘ word , you will probably find that this practice is confined to the followers of the religion of peace .


  20. 40
    This is where labour has now put us says:

    Team Miliband spent thousands on limousines while in government
    Ed Miliband accused of “champagne socialism” by Tories as bills released under Freedom of Information show spending in Labour leader’s last year in government



    • 51
      Labour HQ autoresponder v1.3 says:

      The evil Tory-led government is simply trying to divert attention from the cost of living crisis caused by heartless savage cuts/austerity bedroom tax Thatcher.


  21. 42
    Tristram Hunt says:

    Priti Patel is Party members’ Conservative to Watch in 2014 !!!



  22. 45
    Vicky Pryce says:

    I like bad boys.


  23. 49
    Brett Lee says:

    Afterwards my 8 year old son ran up to Piers and started rubbing Piers’s leg.

    ”What are you doing little boy?” Piers asked.

    ”Just seeing what a Hunt feels like” my son replied replied.


  24. 54
    Chris Huhne says:

    Gisa job.


  25. 56
    Great British Public says:

    We would favour self-immolation for Piss Organ; the caption should read Piss Organ on fire.


  26. 58
    No ball says:

    To be competely honest, my estimation of Piers Morgan has gone up considerably (I fully expected Lee to bowl another beemer ‘accidentally’ as is his wont), I couldn’t do what Piers did….


  27. 61
    Why is there never a handy hand grenade says:

    I noted in passing piers was on the ant and dec xmas show and ended up dressed as a sticky snowman with the audience throwing sticky snowballs at him


  28. 62
    A bit of guts says:

    Fair play to Morgan.
    No technique, no ability to hit the ball, but had the bottle to take the hits and face the next one.


    • 93
      Col. Nut says:

      He jumped away from the wicket as each ball came toward him and kept falling over. Without the nets the smarmy git would have jumped further. He seemed to be wearing a couple of duvets strapped under his clothes or is it just fat?


      • 105
        Fircombe Hall says:

        Bret Lee played the man, not the wicket. He only hit the stumps once – and that was a no ball.


        • 107
          Owen's Sicknote-reader says:

          Piers was giving it plenty of mouth on TMS before the event about how Swan and Trott were cowards.
          If he wanted the retired Lee to underarm balls to his stumps, he should have mentioned that beforehand.


  29. 65
    Anon. says:


    • 69
      Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

      This is a warning from the past!


      • 82

        This was in the full knowledge of the impending crash , the voters must be reminded of this time and again.


        • 89
          Ed Millibland says:

          When I am in power you will see me driving past in a Zil limousine in a special lane reserved for Labour VIPs.


  30. 68
    Alan Chingachgook says:

    Brett lee is a complete arsehole bowling like that against an out-of-shape civvy.
    Much respect for Morgan.


    • 70
      A bit of guts says:

      Morgan threw out the challenge. Lee was just right to offer no quarter.


      • 106
        Owen's Sicknote-reader says:

        Moron was padded up like the Michelin Man, and Lee was bowling at about 80%.
        I liked the utter silence form a 70k boozed-up mixed Aussie and English crowd when Fayty Warne asked for a round of applause.

        Besides, Piers the liar din’t face up to the bowling, he ran from it.


  31. 71
    Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

    They will be shipping McShame ou to Ford prison very soon and Vicky will be able to visit.


  32. 104
    Aparat says:

    Seeing as they took a few ‘body line’ balls to Piers, do you think we should return the favour and take a bat to him?


  33. 108
    Nemesis says:

    I can’t believe how fat the bastard’s got. He needs a bra for those man boobs and a truss for his belly. Piers Morgan? More like Pies Morgan. Pity he couldn’t act as a target for a firing range and put us all out of our misery from having to see him pop up every now and then – the obnoxious twat.


  34. 113
    Jeremy says:

    I cannot be the only person to notice that Piss Poor’s mouth looks more like an arsehole than a mouth!! What is that all about!

    He is, as is universally known an utter c.unt and the sooner he gets hauled back to stand before a court of law the better!!


  35. 114
    john in cheshire says:

    I haven’t even read Guido’s report about Mr Morgan, I just know that I want to read the report that this piece of shit has finally succumbed to the eventuality of life.


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