December 24th, 2013

Father Christmas Would Vote Labour

Father Christmas vote

According to YouGov, the British people think that Santa’s coat is not the only thing that is red about him. Children, don’t believe in socialism…


  1. 1
    Hattie "PIE" Harman says:

    Well, he’s got an unhealthy interest in creeping into children’s bedrooms at night, so obviously he’d support Labour.

  2. 2
  3. 3
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Enough of thith nonthenth! Where are my birthday pwethentth?

  4. 4
    Lenin for Christmas says:

    He does look Karl Marx!

  5. 7
    Denis Macshame says:

    My botty’s red.

    • 12
      Harriet 'bucklin' up' Dromey says:

      And so will Jack’s be as he’s been a very good girl this year.

    • 496
      Sir Roger de Senseless says:

      God! I didn’t know they were that desperate even in the nick. Let’s face it, most of them will be out in a couple of days anyway – even McShane.

  6. 8
    Seemore Gash says:

    Well he only works one night in a year, so presumably he’s on benefits for the other 364 – undoubtedly a socialist voter

  7. 9
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Is this the best thread you can come up with ?

    It’s a kin to asking a bull it’s least favourite colour

  8. 10
    Burn Labour Burn says:

    Before people get upset about this poll and start foaming at the mouth, you should pause to consider how profound the findings are. In effect, Labour are bragging about having the support of someone who doesn’t exist.

    Much like their postal votes.

    • 14
      MIKE OXHARD says:

      much like their current leader

    • 51
      M says:

      And if he only works 1 day a year , guess who’s got to go to work for the rest of the year to pay his pension

    • 89
      CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

      YouGov always have an inbuilt bias towards Labour in their polling methodology. It has something to do with the views of Daily Mirror readers being worth 3% more in polling terms than those who read other newspapers. Don’t know why YouGov should think that, though.

    • 434
      Intellectual Pygmy says:

      They are claiming a bloke who can satisfy the children of the world with at least six billion gifts delivered in one night. All crafted and delivered for zero cost.

      It is the politics and the economics of the left in a nutshell.

    • 618
      BulB says:

      layers of neon peelers are in.

  9. 11
    Mrs May says:

    Remember the next time that you are having your skull beaten in by 6 pigs after being tazered that you shouldn’t “provoke” them.

  10. 15
    The Guardian says:

    Merry Ramadan and a Happy New Eid to our muslim superiors.

  11. 16
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    I hate Christmas Shopping for Samantha.

    Just wasted 2 hours in a queue discovering Poundland don’t do Gift Vouchers

    • 499
      Anonymous says:

      Don’t worry Dave – Bozzer will be giving her what she reay wants next time you’re off on a trip.

  12. 17
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    I have already posted this on the last thread
    but it’s more of a story than this one

    A scumbag caught on video walking into an old folks care home and stealing their Christmas tree

    It’s been on the news all day , Police are appealing for witnesses

  13. 18
    John Prescott says:

    Sorry if your sleep was disrupted last night by all the wind. I had a double chili beef burrito for dinner.

    • 109
      Macshane says:

      smell u later John

    • 398
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      What? Are we supposed to congratulate you for managing to keep it down to only one, you fat fuck?

      And where’s your sack of shit? It’s bloody Christmas Eve!

  14. 19
    Denis MacShane says:

    I would like some cold cream for Christmas please, and a big soft cushion.

  15. 20
    Suicide Bomb says:

    Green? Green?

    Given the amount of tat supposedly delivered by Santa, he must have just about the highest carbon emissions on the planet. If you are bothered by such things.

    Who did they ask? 5 year olds?

    Labour is correct, though.

    Santa gives away lots of things paid for with other people’s money, and pretends he is being generous.

    • 84
      The most amusing claim ever says:

      AND most of them are broken by Boxing Day

      • 113
        EdBallsy says:

        or on their way back to Argos for a refund

        • 120
          broderick crawford says:



          … IS IT ALL KNOCK-OFF ??

  16. 21
    Owen Jones says:

    Christmas should be banned because its Islamaphobic.

    • 44
      A lesson from history says:

      In 50 years THIS will probably be totally true given the birth rate and the decline in the Church of England

    • 61
      Dragonfly says:

      I see the little idiot is now an expert on Souh Sudan too….

      • 86
        Don't bet on it says:

        At least we won’t have Dave and Wee Willy trying to get the UK involved militarily……er…although knowing them ANYTHING is possible I suppose especially if “The Guardian” and “BBC” want us to

    • 110
      Herr Benny says:

      Nobody cares. Really. Nobody give a flying fart at a rolling donut. Islam is just be another bunch of idiots rattling on about how you have to work till your drop because their imaginary friend said so. Grow up and stop whining about something you gave in to before you were born. Religion. Not so much the opium of the masses as the endless rebranding of idiocy.

    • 137
      broderick crawford says:




      • 154
        GORDON BROWN says:

        Please don’t use capitals. It is often a sign of mental illness. Happy winterval.

        • 216
          KEN LIVINGSTONE says:


        • 404
          Anonymous says:

          Given some of vile and nasty the comments on this site – is it wise to mention mental illness? Anyway, caps off for Christmas!

    • 157
      Fishy says:

      You might think that you’re being ironic, but one BBC local radio station this morning introduced their programme, thus;

      ‘Good morning…it’s 6.30 on the 24th December…a day which some people call Christmas Eve’

    • 271
      If only I had the ££££££ says:

      The Indy has an auction where you can bid to have a meal with Owen. Might not some wealthy Owen-despiser bid for this, win, and sit there eating with Owen and just not say a word to him, just instead listening to their mp3 player?

      • 327
        Expat Geordie says:

        Being proper working class myself, as in from a northern council estate, working and Thatcherite, I’d listen to him waffle on about the demonization of the bone idle chavs who ruined decent council estates, and then drop the little twat. Repeatedly. Until he dies. In agony.

  17. 22

    So a non existent polictically incorrect geez votes Labour. Well Merry Syphilis and a Happy Gonorrhoea innit.

  18. 23
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Labour would give very small cheap nasty presents that weren’t worth a lot and someone else had paid for
    Glib Dumbs would promise very large presents that they couldn’t possibly deliver then tell you they were lost in the post
    The Tories would tell you not to ask for too much this year as they are a bit skint , then deliver nice big tax breaks , but only to their rich friends
    UKIP would deliver your last chance to reclaim your country and set you free from the money grabbing clutches of the EU

    • 28
      Anna Soubry QC MP says:

      You’ve really put the finger on it…

    • 49
      I used to vote Tory but now I'd rather eat my own face says:

      “The Tories would tell you not to ask for too much this year as they are a bit skint” .. and then give presents worth eleven billion pounds to India and other countries with space programmes.

      • 79
        Dave from Witney says:

        I am immensely proud of the United Kingdom’s record in regard to foreign aid. The United Kingdom can be rightly proud of being the only country in the western democracies to not only keep to it’s promise of 0.7% of our national income going towards foreign aid but to actually increase it. I know that those in our society who are unable to buy food this Christmas to feed their familiies and are reliant on food banks, the young unemployed, the old age pensioner, those who are unable to get on to the social housing market or are unemployed or disabled and facing hard times in 2014 will also feel immensely proud of our record as they stare skywards and see the Chinese Mission to Mars and the Indian Space Program funded by the generosity of the British people and know that their sacrifices have made this all possible.

        So a very big thank you from me and Merry Christmas to you all

  19. 24
    2 Eds in a 69 says:

    Of course he would vote labour, he is all for being able to come over to the UK and work without anyone checking him at the border

    • 141
      broderick crawford says:




  20. 25
    Home truths says:

    Have a look via UK uncut, at Cameron’s and some of his cabinet ministers links to common purpose, and realise what a truly evil man Cameron is, and why it’s imperative that he is sent packing in 2015, via UKIP of course.

    Common purpose is why Aljabeeba’s attacks on the Tories are tolerated, even encouraged, and why Patten remains in his job, and will continue to do so. BBC stuffed with Common Purpose graduates.

    Labour of course are no better, some might argue more evil, but they are stupider and more incompetent, and are more likely to disintegrate as the mess the UK is in socially and financially exacerbates, after their inevitable election in a 18 months time.

    • 42
      Care in the NHS is nonexistent says:

      Forget 13/15,000 deaths, try 100,000 plus.

      • 886
        Anonymous says:

        After a week of direct experience, I can confirm that the NHS has many really caring staff. Wonderful people.

        However, I can absolutely confirm the organization is dreadful, and employs people in responsible roles that look unable to even care for themselves.

        Sadly, however caring the majority are, the actions of a few destroyed a life. A few mistakes was all it took, and nothing the good staff could do was able to reverse the damage the stupid staff had inflicted.

        Imagine a car manufacturer who employed a few incapable staff that damaged each item they touched. The company would go bust. Yet it is acceptable in the NHS.

        There is only one cure for the NHS. It needs those that manage and accept the failures to be removed.

    • 253
      Gooey Blob says:

      Labour’s paid army of “Ukip” trolls out in force again, I see.

  21. 35
    Vote Red says:
  22. 36
    Denis Macshame says:

    When I said “quelle surprise” in court, I expected everyone there to laugh and be ever so impressed at how witty and clever I am. Instead there was a stony silence as I was carried off by prison guards. I think I also overheard the judge say something about ensuring I serve most of my 6 month sentence for being “such an arrogant little shit”. I’m sure I misheard him.

  23. 37
    The late Jimmy Savile says:

    Children, don’t believe in socialism…

    or I’ll fix it for you…

  24. 38
    Bubba Lova says:

    Denis gave me some good lovin last night. That boy got a tight little booty! Ain’t that right, Denny? You able to sit down yet?

  25. 47
    BO says:
    • 54
      Squeaker says:

      Worshiping idols again? Looks like coal in your stocking m’lad

    • 57
      Burn Labour Burn says:

      He actually used the word “massive”. Pathetic man. You’re not a 17 year old or a DJ. You’re a smarmy c-unt who wears £1000 designer suits and has a holiday home in Ibiza. Do your constituents know about that, Chucky?

    • 121
      Liebours friends at the BBC - All the staff!! says:

      Quick get round there Jack!

    • 274
      Is it in his genes? says:

      Oh my fucking god, this man is a total nobhead, in the same sphere as Ross for self congratulation.

    • 358
      chuq wun wuns munny says:

      Never knowingly under-wankered.

  26. 48
    Simon says:

    Well he only works once a year so of course he would vote labour.

  27. 56
    Huhne, an old lag says:

    Obviously Santa is a socialist, he give stuff out to folks even if they haven’t worked for it.

  28. 58
    food banks started under labourù says:

    Does Schengen apply to Santa ?

    • 82
      The most amusing claim ever says:

      I shouldn’t think the UKBA will bother him if it doesn’t ……they could have 2 million santas coming in to the UK and be none the wiser

  29. 59
    ancientpopeye says:

    When I saw 23% for Greens I thought I’s better check the source.
    YouGov, I know now its a laugh.

    • 133
      Expat Geordie says:

      Expat Geordie says:
      Your comment is awaiting moderation.

      December 24, 2013 at 4:58 pm

      4% think that Santa votes B&P. Does that mean that we are allowed to say B&P on this site now since it is in the main story?

      Obviously not!

      • 322
        and SNP says:

        a Scottish giver of presents, or sentimental Scottish. Come on YouGov, and if you wish to introduce some balanced polling what about including the Micky Mouse Party as a SERIOUS option.

  30. 60
    only saying like says:

    I’d wish McShame a very happy christmas but I remembered that his xmas dinner is paid for by me. Basically the same reason why he was put in jail in the first place.

  31. 62
    FFS says:

    All year the elves slave to make the presents for the children, in appaling working conditions, then Santa spends just 24 hours to distribute the presents and takes all the credit.

    Judging by the kids round our way, he gives most of the presents to kids that don’t deserve it.

    Man’s a fucking Stalinist.

  32. 65
    Bad_Santa_X says:

    Oh ho hooo! Missus

  33. 67
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest man in politics says:

    If Santa disnae fooking vote for ma fooking SNP I’ll gi’ him a fooking Glesga kiss, ya bas!

  34. 70
    Black Pete says:

    Oh my god, 4% of them thought he would vote for the BNP!

  35. 71
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    I’D LIKE TO CLAIM THE CREDIT FOR THIS TORY POLICY ( I certainly claim the Old Age Pension )

  36. 72
    Sheikh Basha Banka says:

    If 6 million children do not believe in socialism will they kindly return the 5 billion pounds given them in Family Trust Funds.

    they will appreciate this was money given by a labour Government which was in no position to give the money in the first place with the situation abused in the interim by the financial industry raising fat hidden fees and giving poor returns.

    The return of this 5 billion to the State would go some way to reducing the National Debt burden almost overnight.

  37. 73
    Father Christmas says:

    Vote Labour? Fuck off

  38. 74
    DENNIS McSHAME says:

    Hey so far the guys have been real friendly in here , they said Tomorrow , a group of us are going to have dinner and i will really get to stuff my face

  39. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Maguire was on Sky last night and said that none of the MPs should have gone to jail; claiming that losing their jobs was punishment enough.

    There we have it; the great white liberal, defender of the working classes thinks its ok for people who are put in a position of power and trust to systematically steal money from the tax payer.

    What would happen to the average Mirror reader if they stole thousands from their employer – they would be spending longer than 6 months behind bars

    Our white liberal elite protect their own whether left or right

  40. 80 the doors! says:

    Bbbbbbbbbbbollocks! YouGov is Labour !

    • 162
      broderick crawford says:



      • 328
        Expat Geordie says:

        The Army Rumour Service (ARRSE) have a threat running about useful Romanian phrases. My favourite if “La Dracu”, as in “La Dracu back to where you came from you thieving Romanian cnut”.

  41. 83

    Labour’s idea of Santa would cast him as an arsonist setting fire to properties in areas where firemen were striking.

    Targeted selfishness.

  42. 85
    Anonymous says:

    More whitle liberal rubbish fro Jo Swinson

    Jo Swinson heads up an all party group on ” Body Image” and she wants to ban terms such as muffin tops and thunder thighs and thinks we should be focussing on a healthy body rather than the fact that people are fat/obese.

    A few facts about obese people that Ms. Swinson would like to ponder

    1. They die early

    2. They have a tendency to get diabetes

    3. A number of those with chronic diabetes have limbs amputed

    4. Obese people find it difficult to get jobs, employors won’t take them on as they have very low energy levels and take more time off work than average

    5. They are social outcasts in airports; everyone in the departure lounge looks at them thinking ” please god I hope they are not sitting next to me.

    Just as an aside Jo Swinson never did clarify whether she went through the Lord Reynard selection process

    • 96
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      6. They are fat bastards.

    • 99
      Hypocritical cow watch says:

      Yes career politician never had a real job Swinson did not step up to the plate for women when it really mattered but was conspicuous by her silence over Reynard. Looking after her career prospects no doubt.

    • 147
      Monica says:

      Did she really say those expressions should be “banned”? Did she explain in detail how that would work?
      If she did, she was probably following some skinny teenaged hollywood bird who made similar comments a few days ago.

    • 158
      Eric Pickles says:

      That’s me…

    • 207
      Expat Geordie says:

      Call her a “White Níg.gér” – that should throw the cat among the pigeons. (Not sure if she is catholic though, but as she is a Jock you could always call her a “Porridge W.óg” instead.)

      Or Salad Dodger…

  43. 94
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The word Israel was hijacked many many decades ago for dark and deceitful purposes.

  44. 95
    Blowing Whistles says:

    McSane is J3wish – so why don’t the msm actually tell it like it is or are they too owned?

  45. 97
    Mr Anonymous says:

    Santa says he’ll only give presents to children if they meet certain behaviour criteria, which is subsequently met by every single child, who are then rewarded with free gifts.

    That’s pretty much every Labour policy of the last 20 years.

  46. 100
    Electoral fraud is endemic in some constituencies says:

    If Santa is granted a postal vote he almost certainly will get a say in the next election.

    • 111
      FFS says:

      Yeah, he’s another fucking foreigner from East Europe.

      • 118
        Podiceps says:

        From Turkey, in fact. St Nicholas of Myra.

        • 127
          FFS says:

          Last time I saw him he was in Lapland, near Saariselka.

          • Fellow traveller says:

            Went there last year to see the midnight sun. My shadow was 35 yards long at midnight. Beautiful place highly recommended – especially the log cabins in the woods, complete with saunas and reindeer on the patio. Get your trip organised by the tourist office near the harbour in Helsinki.

  47. 101

    A Very Happy Christmas to All

    May you all get exactly what you would want for yourselves… providing that it does not come from the public purse.

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  48. 103
    Ho Ho Ho says:

    Of course santa is a leftie..he gives away pressies for nothing to anyone who asks nicely..freebies are a leftie thing as is not living in the real world.

  49. 130

    Even children know Santa is a foreigner and not allowed to vote!

  50. 138
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Oh hello its Christmas before its Christmas – A big Thank you to the BBC for what I by fluke just heard.

    R5Live at 4:25 pm (some 20 mins or so ago) interviewed Carl Gardener – ‘a legal blogger and former government lawyer’ – on the subject of Turing.

    CG: “I object to his pardon for numerous reasons … the government have not given good reasons …”

    BBC Giles: Is it legally satisfying?

    CG: “it’s all rewriting the past …. so the government can feel better …”

    This of course is Carl Gardner who was a legal minion under the Labour government’s AG Goldsmith.

    Carl Gardner is in denial of many facts – with particular reference to that “the web has a memory” in particular to what he does not want to refer to during his time in government – and the lies, deceptions and deceits – that he was a party to (and still is) concealing contrary to the Piublic Interest. (That’s my speak for his covering up for Blair et amis) Gardner is as guilty as Blair.

    And Chilcott – better not be redacting anything.

    Merry Christmas and happy new year to all.

  51. 140
    Moley says:

    Santa gives presents to everyone with no worries about who is going to pay for it.

    If that isn’t a definition of Socialism, I don’t know what is.

    However; the world we live in is a real one, not a fairy story, and in the real world, Santonomics doesn’t work.

  52. 152
    C.O.Jones says:

    Food banks work!

    • 449
      Curly says:

      Kay Burley on Sky this morning almost tearfully telling us that food bank users have risen to 500,000 this year. Can somebody please enlighten her about the antics of the Trussel Trust and its personnel?

  53. 160
    What Deterent?. says:

    Bent peers and MPs. Little more than 7 years between ‘em! Lots of guys spend longer in the prison dinner queue!

  54. 163
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    BBC News just reporting on a Surgeon suspended for engraving his intials on a patients liver during an operation. The BBC correspondents name – John Brain.
    Someone at the BBC is having a laugh.

    Merry Christmas everyone. Let’s hope Chilcot reports early next year and Blair stands trial.

  55. 166
    Food Bank Notice says:

    No one has ever got poor from giving

    But plenty have become rich from scrounging

  56. 176
    'Tis the season to be jolly says:

    Which MP would you like most to go to prison next?

    • 179
      Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

      T. B£iar for War Crimes.

    • 204
      Cunt Watch says:

      John Bercow for being pompous nasty dwarf.

    • 450
      Baldrick's burger bar says:

      Barosso and Rumpy. Cell mates on bread and water for 5 years discussing the finer points of Marxism, and how to bring a continent to its knees.

      • 494

        Ian Hudghton – The “secret” el Presidente of the Scottish Nationalistas, who pretends to be parsimonious with his EU expenses. He posted his “expenses” breakdown at his own website and it reveals amongst other things that ….

        His EP DAILY SUBSISTENCE ALLOWANCE AMOUNT is a Staggering €13,984-­‐00, which is about £11,694 or around 10% MORE than the minimum wage after tax !!!


        ( most British workers have to pay their own travel costs from wages )

        Which means that secret squirrel Hudghton’s DAILY PAY (before tax) is about 25% More than the British Minimum WEEKLY wage. What an absolute bleeding hypocrite. No Wonder we hear Alex Salmond and his band of cheerleaders ranting on about the so called independent Scotland in the EU.

        It’s Hudghton’s independent EU Cash in HIS Wallet that HE wants to retain.

        Sic a Parcel o’ Rogues in a Nation !!!

        Click moniker for web page – get latest PDF for breakdown.

  57. 178
    One of his Poncy Reindeers says:

    Santa votes Raving Loony Party.

  58. 182
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    “Are there no prisons?” asked Scrooge.

    “Plenty of prisons,” said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.

    “And the Union workhouses?” demanded Scrooge. “Are they still in operation?”

    “They are. Still,” returned the gentleman, “I wish I could say they were not.”

    “The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?” said Scrooge.
    “Both very busy, sir…”

    “Those who are badly off must go there.”

    “Many can’t go there; and many would rather die.”

    “If they would rather die,” said Iain Duncan Smith, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”

    • 191
      Copy Pasta says:

      Well cut and pasted, ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ.

      Mummy wants you to come downstairs for your tea now.

  59. 193
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Dear Santa , This year can you make sure Food bank vouchers are deducted from the recipients benefits
    and that any parents who draw benefits and drink and smoke are Not eligible
    for food bank handouts

  60. 196
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    So, Alan Turing is pardoned. Only a total arsehole would presume to pardon a VICTIM. The Royal Family can fuck right off towards extinction.

    • 330
      Expat Geordie says:

      He might have a pardon, but legally he is still guilty of the crime. And remember, at the time it was a crime, and he was therefore a security risk. Present day views as to the heinousness of the crime are neither here nor there. Derek Bentley might have received a posthumous pardon but legally he is still guilty of murder. A pardon means forgiveness, not acquittal nor innocence.

    • 795
      Richard Fonda says:

      Saw a play about Turing some years ago. The actor who played him handled the part well.

  61. 200
    Season of Badwill says:

    All over the world people are toasting the festive season of goodwill, but as per usual, righties will keep on hating right through the season like they do the rest of the year, hating blacks, gays, the disabled and the homeless. Stay classy, righties!

    • 206
      MIKE OXHARD says:

      Poor people , = a figment of Labour’s imagination

    • 210
      Voice of reason says:

      The hatred is all in your mind. It’s YOU with the race problem etc. It’s a figment of your brainwashed imagination.

      It is the left who created hate crimes and destroyed society. Please keep up.

      • 217
        MIKE OXHARD says:

        “All over the world people will be toasting the festive season”

        With booze paid for in benefits and overseas aid from the good old hard working British tax payers

    • 214
      ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

      Like a dying star, they’re watching implosion of the Tory Party, guided by ‘call me Dave’. And the second coming, Nigel, is staying in the pub.

    • 237
      FFS says:

      I don’t hate black people. I have friends that are of many different races and beliefs. I simply note that the murder rate in Jamaica is 30x higher than in the UK, so immigration from there wouldl cause a lot of extra British deaths. Indeed it has done – about 14,000 I would estimate. Their blood is on the hands of the public servants that insisted on mass immigration despite the will of the people being strongly opposed to it.

      I don’t hate gays. A libertarian believes in the right of consenting adults to indulge in their own private sexual gratification. But I also believe that people have a right to condemn it and a right not to celebrate gay relationships if they choose. I also point out that promiscuous homosexual sex led to the death of over a million gay men – so it is probably not well advised to fuck strangers up the ass that you have just met in a public toilet. Certainly it is improper to be proud of such disease spreading antics whether you are gay or straight.

      I certainly don’t hate disabled people. As long as they are genuinely disabled and not just in a bad mood or claiming that having a sore finger prevents them from any kind of contribution to society in return for the food provided to them by hard-working farmers.

      Finally, I don’t hate the homeless. But I would point out that Labour brought 4 million immigrants to this country and built fuck all housing for them, so it’s all their fault.

      Merry Christmas!

      • 247
        Edna in Clapham says:

        Very well said sir/madam.

        Basically, the left are lying, denying tossers who haven’t got an ounce of common sense or decency between them. They’re an evil bunch who think everyone else is as daft as they are. They create the problems that undermine the cohesion of our society and then deny it. Losers and cowards of the 1st degree. It’s no wonder the country has gone to the dogs.

        However, I do hope you have a good Christmas.

        • 337
          M102 says:

          I couldn’t have said it any better myself. Well I could but it would have taken pages. Merry Christmas Edna.

      • 410
      • 503
        It's True says:

        Irrespective of race religion or shade of skin colour, aren’t you sick of night after night on the TV news to see the latest report of some foreigner who has raped or assaulted or robbed/burgled/conned some Old Age Pensioner, or worse still has murdered them. And if not a Pensioner, then some other innocent bystander in the street or at a nightclub and so on. Aren’t you sick to see night after night on the TV news that some foriener has been jailed in a British Prison that British Taxpayers must now pay to feed/clothe/house the latest felon for years and years.

        But wait you, Peter Mandelson stated that the Labour Party had “sent out search parties” to bring these foreigners to our shores, even while millions of British born citizens were standing in queues at the Job Centre.

        Now we hear that in Scotland if he wins referendum day, “uncle Alex” will want to emulate the Mandelson / Labour policy, whilst hundreds of thousands of Scottish born citizens are still queueing at the Job Centres. Scottish Prisons will be Full, and has he figured that into his “Independence calculation white papers”

        It’s True, it really is ….

        Google search?q=immigrants+crime+spree+uk gives nearly 3 million results

  62. 203
    Its O'Fish Ali says:

    As if voting for someone with a different party affiliation is going to make a difference . . there is only agenda politics and whichever party is a ‘winner’ at the polls has to tow that line – difference is only in the spin and execution . . .anyone disillusioned to think otherwise deserves what they get . .

    Have a gander at this lot and join the dots . .
    > Plans Exposed By Insider In 1969
    > The Frankfurt School: Conspiracy to Corrupt
    > MINDSPACE or MINDSPACE – short version
    now understand why were are where we are . . all a deliberate destruction of the UK (and elsewhere)

  63. 205
    Edna in Clapham says:

    This YouGov thing’s a load of b@ll@cks…… left wing propaganda.

    They’re sick in the head like the rest of the UK’s leftist/liberal establishment.

    Do these thickos know that Father Christmas does not exist? It seems pretty desperate to have to use an imaginary figure in your propaganda.

    Socialism is a psychological illness – ask any psychiatrist.

    On that note I’ll end my tirade.

    Happy Christmas.

  64. 213
    Squeaker says:

    I would vote for Santa in front of any of them

  65. 218
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:



    • 248
      MIKE OXHARD says:

      There is no marker for 1955 , you mean 1965

      • 365
        FFS says:

        Mike, either you need to go to Specsavers or you’ve had too much Christmas sherry!

        The biggest spike is at the 1955 point – take a closer look. If you still can’t see it, perhaps you can find where 1961 is instead (clue – it is to the RIGHT of the biggest spike)

        • 613

          But North America existed long before “US History” and it was certainly much warmer during the Medieval and Roman Warm periods, even if the Romans never went to North America, that doesn’t change the fact that North America Existed even then.

          The Book “Contact between Native North Americans and the Medieval Norse: a review of the evidence” by R McGhee – ‎1984, looks into Viking contacts, at the time of the Medieval Warm Period, when Vinland was established by Erik the Red. But they didn’t have any mercury thermometers, so the shills of climate alarmism won’t be satisfied though.

          Bruce Bourque, details the experience of East Coast Natives, in the book “Twelve Thousand Years: American Indians in Maine”, which again although there are no thermometers involved, we can devine the temperature from the descriptions of agriculture and behaviour. see a preview of the book click the Native American

  66. 223
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Basically a load of bollocks – Father Christmas and his team work very hard to run a 12 month project to a very hard deadline. They meet deadline every year

    No benefits or any other associated nonsense.

    He sounds quite right wing to me.

    • 226

      In that case, he must be a Yank.

      The red coat indicates the Republican Party.

      • 229
        Expat Geordie says:

        I thought that the red coat was copyrighted by The Coca Cola Organisation. Until the 1930′s when they introduced the red Santa his coat could be any colour, with white and green being particular favourites.

        I’m sure that our friend Pete Woodley, sorry Blowing Whistles, would find some, ahem, “religious” significance in that. Don’t Isráélís drink Coke and Arábs drink Pepsi? Or is it the other way round?

        • 246

          If you are right about Mr Woodley then he is the same age as I am, which makes his criticisms of me as being an old man rather odd, to put it nicely.

          However, I wish him no harm and hope he manages to cheer up a bit for the Christmas season. :-)

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Sorry Mr C, couldn’t resist. He turned nasty on me a few months ago for no apparent reason (pissed probably – it was a Friday night) and it grated a bit. Anyway I went back to the Bournemouth Echo website and he was mouthing off again and I just put two and two together.

            I’m just a weekend warrior on here, and I see no reason to be unpleasant to each other. I see no reason for him to call me a tw@t, or even worse threaten to name me as a Private Eye journalist and get away with it (I work in insurance, you can probably guess where.). I occasionally disagree with you, but on here you have shown me nothing but kindness, even saying kind things about my favourite pub in Bournemouth – The Porterhouse.

            I also don’t like him having a go at the J.e.w.i.s.h. community. We have a rather large, successful and visible community in Bournemouth, and for whatever reason it upsets him. I have a number of friends in that community (I’m C of E myself) and I can’t see how they are trying to take over the world/run the council/mate with the lizard people, etc.

            Anyway, the Old Thumper is starting to kick in and future posts may have a number of grammatical and spelling errors, to put it mildly. So to you, have a very Merry Christmas, and hopefully have many more.

          • And to you, EG.

            I congratulate you on your detective work and on the basis of it have checked myself tonight. It looks a good call. I’ll leave that subject at that.

            It surely must be the case that opinions can seldom be exactly congruent in every respect. I look on the percentage correlation, as I mentioned to CO5 today, and I judge harshly to leave room for pleasant surprise. What you have said is not only fair but also kind.

            I don’t even have to guess who you are with but that in no way is meant to detract from you. Somewhere in the bowels of whatever passes for what used to be the DTI is a record which states I am a fit person to be a director of a UK registered insurer (Needless to say I am not! But I did take it very seriously when I was, as I am quite sure would you.)

            Like me, I think you judge people on their individual merit and leave all other considerations out of the frame. I do not see any other way. Religion or race do not come into it.

            I have been enjoying some Côte de Nuits tonight so I risk failing on spelling too. Have a good one!

          • Expat Geordie says:

            As for being a fit and proper person, I was recently re-vetted/re-referenced at work. The email was received on the Tuesday lunchtime, and on Wednesday morning I was denied access to our car park (not the one in the middle of the roundabout so I was able to reverse out without causing a pile up). We use our ID cards to access the buildings and the relevant car parks, so did the card system know something that I didn’t? Had someone cloned my identity and defrauded a bank? Was I due to be called upon by the boys in blue?

            I parked the car in a side street and went in via reception. I queried the security guard and he told me that the barriers at my car park were broken. Got into the office to be met by an email stating that I had passed my vetting. I can laugh now, but at the time…

          • My sympathies.

            I have a problem when a piece of plastic with a chip is deemed to be more of a real person than a human being.

            Perhaps we will get round that problem in another century or two.

      • 239
        Fred Pontin says:

        Surely it means he works for Butlitz ?

    • 244
  67. 224
    Cynic says:

    Its not surprising. Santa reminds them of the last Labour Government where it was Christmas every day and the New Year and Credit Card Bills never arrived

  68. 227
    Jimmy says:

    Season’s Greetings to all my reactionary friends

    • 359

      @Jimmy. The powers that be will not be pleased with you at making reference to Christmas with this very pleasant recording from about the time of your birth. What’s more it was performed by Vince Guaraldi from the Great Satan who had decidedly GOP views when it came to making money from his performances. He was not shy at making money. I am simply concerned in case you run the risk of excommunication.

      However, you know where your friends are and we will naturally welcome you to our cause where you will be in much better company.

      Have a great Christmas and New Year my friend. We can continue the struggle after the festivities.

  69. 230
    Cordon Brown says:

    Tomorrow i will be serving up another gargantuan meal paid from my MP’s salaray and The Charity that is known as The Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown

  70. 238
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Seems to me that all the comments on here today are aimed at insulting each other. Getting stressed over tomorrow are we? May I suggest a glass of pinot noir.

    • 255

      Have to say that I am relaxed. I have my M&S Christmas Pudding (free from ham but with some alcohol) and mince pies and will be sharing them with the denizens here who are intrigued by English customs.

      Plenty of wine, appetisers, port and liqueurs for as long as is required.

      Prost! – Ein Toast!

  71. 240
    Ed and David's mama says:

    It is Ed’s Birthday today.

    24 December 1969.

    He was an ugly child.

    • 241
      Mr and Mrs Miliband. says:

      They made us take them home.

    • 245
      For the last time. I am not going to sign your birth certificate. says:
    • 278
      Expat Geordie says:

      24th December 1969 (as some people on here might call it, Christmas Eve). I remember it well (or perhaps not – I was 7 weeks old). I was laid on the couch with my mother sat beside me. Dad was at the pub.

      My uncle (dad’s brother) knocks at the door and as my mother lets him in bursts past her, knocking her over and sits on the couch. Unfortunately between his arse and our couch was my seven week old head, which before anyone says anything explains a lot.

      In his defence, he was pissed. Christmas Day 1969 dad went round his house and hospitalised the cnut.

  72. 243
    Young Mr. Grace says:

    You’ve all done very well.

  73. 250
    DENNIS McSHAME says:

    Christmas in prison really sucks , my cell mate told me that by tomorrow morning everybody on block H will have an empty sack

    • 256
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      Dennis – I’m sure it does suck and you will be doing plenty of sucking later this evening.

      Also – when you go to the bog just before lockup take lots of paper because it will absorb the anal bleeding later

      Have a good Christmas

  74. 257
    Denis Macshame says:

    My cellmate says he’s going to give me a facial. Sounds nice. I could do with a beauty treatment.

  75. 258
    Denis Macshame says:

    One of the prison guards has given me an odd warning. He says Cletus and Clancy in D wing are planning to give me a spit roast. What’s there to be scared of? I love a nice bit of roast meat for christmas. I look forward to Cletus and Clancy giving me a spit roast.

    • 363
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      I think you are confusing Wandsworth with some Federal penitentiary in Arkansas or Alabama.

      It will still be a spit roast in Wandsworth but from Iqbal and LeDewayne

      Don’t worry – it will taste the same

  76. 259
    OwenJones says:

    My lot would cancel Christmas

  77. 260
    SFG says:

    Santa’s not much of a socialist
    He leaves the children of the rich families nice expensive presents,
    and the children from the deprived families cheep crap

    • 263

      Well unless you are an MP
      There is no such thing as a free lunch

    • 273
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      I leave it until after Xmas, loads of redundant Rudolf reindeer meat to be had in the posh shops, he might have had a red nose but suspicions were aroused concerning his blatantly capitalist activities.

    • 283
      Santa says:

      Actually I leave the children of the underclass “Grand Theft Auto” and a Miley Cirus DVD, whereas the middle-class parents tell me: “under no circumstances should I leave that amoral shit in a stocking in our house!”

  78. 264
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Do you think Vicky Pryce acts like a traditional gangster’s moll when her man is inside.

    You know how it works – makes sure the protection money is collected, uses her connections to stop rivals moving in on Dennis McShane’s prossies, dealers and standover merchants.

    I think she fits the role quite well myself = sort of like the Krays’ mother.

  79. 270
    Compassionate Tory says:

    At work, we’ve sponsored the Hampers for Hope project.

    Most of us don’t have second, third and fourth homes conveniently lying empty… unless you’re an MP.

    Maybe Tory MP Nadhim Zahawi could open up his taxpayer-funded heated stables?

  80. 272
    The western elite are the new corrupt says:
    • 290
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      Yes for some reason Mandela’s name springs to mind.

    • 372
      Expat Geordie says:

      Soviet propaganda, perhaps?

      Oh I so miss the Cold War. At least you knew who your enemies were. (Your teachers, trade unionists, the Labour Party, the Soviet Union…)

  81. 281

    Dooooooooooo they know it’s christmas timeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Well they don’t in Sudan LOL!

  82. 284
    Pick litter for bennies says:

    Name one Labour vote winning policy that is affordable,credible, costed accuratly that the country can afford.

  83. 289
    DENNIS McSHAME says:

    My cell mate says i have to start work tomorrow ,
    i believe it’s doing a bit for the police
    as he told me i’ll bit spit and polishing at least 50 bobby’s helmets

  84. 296
    How the elite live without foodbanks says:
    • 297
      Meanwhile the wife of a millionaire says:
      • 303
        Reverend Flowers says:

        I’ll run the bank down don’t you worry pet.

      • 304
        you haven't really lived until you've wiped some other poor souls arse says:

        I almost choked on my fucking tea reading this. Her husband is directly responsible for the mountain of debt which has led to the dubious necessity of food banks. Reinforces my belief that lefties are terminally thick, and or devious as fuck.

        • 308
          Bob Fleming says:


          • Hunger Games says:


            Coming Soon to a Labour Fiefdom Near You

            “The Hunger Games are a nationally televised
            event in which “Tributes” must fight with one
            another until one survivor remains.”

        • 314
          FFS says:

          “This Christmas, we have the tragic rise and rise of the British food bank”

          They started in 2004 and continued to grow throughout her husband’s reign of terror, the daft bitch.

          I thought she was alright until I read this bollox. I actually had some sympathy for her, having to put up with McMental. Not anymore.

      • 307
        Jingle bells says:

        How about using your charity to slow down the rise of Liebours food banks, if your husband hadn’t taken £10billion a year out of private pensions the country may have been in a better state, but don’t worry, yesterday in Asda Ellesmere Port you couldn’t get around the place it was so busy the car park was full by 0815am, the “poor” filled up as many a 3 trollies per family, even the miracle of the walking stick was down to a few old gentlemen, the miracle was the car park had gone from lots of people with walking sticks to lots of people with blue badges

      • 312
        i don't n eed no doctor says:

        Sarah, your usual bullshit is barely tolerable, but now you are blatantly being political, so fuck off you bigoted lying bitch.

      • 313
        DENNIS McSHAME says:

        Hope you have stocked up on the XXL Nappies

      • 324
        yy says:

        Sarah Brown fuckwitt husband Gordn Brown spunked £4 Billion up the wall on tne sale of gold, which is approx the annual sales of Tesco

        was a bellend Brown is and how fucking dense is Sarah Brown

      • 348
        Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

        Leave it to me: I’ll cause a foodbank crisis and blame it on America.

      • 352
        Ho Ho Ho. Ows about that then says:
  85. 305
    Absolutely none of the lefties who were crying their eyes out a few weeks ago says:

    God, I can’t wait until the cinemas open again so I can go see Mandela the movie.
    Maybe someone will book me a ticket for Xmas.

  86. 315
    Lowlife scum says:

    Anyone going out to Midnight Mass?

    I hope you are, as I need to turn over a few houses tonight and fence your pressies to score some crack.

    Happy Xmas!

    • 329
      DENNIS McSHAME says:

      I would have gone had i been on the outside
      but hey ho i can get a good fondling in here , who needs a priest ?

  87. 316
    Our President says:
    • 319
      The population of Europe says:

      Who is that strange man talking to ?

    • 326
      UkIP or bust says:

      shhhhsh, I think I hear the sound of a wet dish cloth.

    • 331
      Our EU membership fee: 22 billion reasons to vote UKIP says:

      “I wish you all a Merry Christmas with my best wishes for the year to come .. because all of Europe’s trash is about to get dumped on Britain.”

    • 336
      von van vin ven says:

      I see these bstards are going to stop Camoron doing any fracking by bringing out a law to block him, how true it is I don’t know.

      • 340
        William Hague says:

        We are a sovereign nation.

        • 343
          The automaton in Number 10 says:

          Membership of the glorious EU is vital to Britain’s economic interests.

          Fracking is vital to Britain’s economic interests.

          Fracking is going to be banned by the glorious EU.

          Bzzzt! Bzzzzzt! DOES ** NOT ** COMPUTE ** Bzzzt! Must.. await.. instructions from Brussels.. BZZZZZZT!

          • A Hollow Victory says:

            In the end we saw them off and they ain’t going to stop us fracking (very much). Dan Hannan hailed this as a victory but as many pointed out it’s no victory that a Sovereign nation can not exploit its natural resources without the permission of Brussels.

      • 443
        EU Bastard on the take says:

        We have been bought & paid for by the eco-mongs.

  88. 339
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  89. 343
    I'll tell you a story says:
    • 345
      I'll tell you a story says:
      • 346
        I'll tell you a story says:
        • 356
          FFS says:

          Actually it is worse than that. Generally people are only aware of their take home pay, not their income before tax.

          If an employee is not having tax taken out of his wages, then in effect the employer is getting a healthy employee with at least basic education for free.

          Zero income tax (or a tax credit that attempts to nullify income tax) is actually a subsidy to the employer. This is quite bad if the employer is British, but if the employer is an US company for instance, it is a disaster. Starbucks pays no corporation tax in the UK but also gets its minimum-wage employees trained and kept healthy by the UK state for free. Why? Starbucks is actually costing the taxpayer money before it has even overcharged you for its coffee.

          • yy says:

            there is no subsidy you fucking cretin

            the kids the schools are churning out have to be de-programmed from the 23 years of state education

          • FFS says:

            Hey dude, stop picking on the state educated.

            Tony Blair, Public School (Fettes) – narcissistic amoral twat

            David Cameron, Public School (Eton) – Twat

            Dennis MacShane, Public School (St Benedicts) – Twat and crook

            JK Rowling, top taxpayer: Dodgy comprehensive

            I’m not a cretin either but I’ll let you off that one as it’s Christmas

        • 366
          Benny Fitz-Clements says:

          But I like being trapped on benefits and part of Labour’s Client State.

          I can sit at home all day, breed, watch daytime TV and drink Special Brew.

          Bring back Brown & Balls !

  90. 361
    McShane, an old lag says:

    Just had a note slipped under the cell door!

    Must be the prison’s Xmas lunch menu, as it says I’ll be getting a shank. Is that lamb shank?

  91. 364
    Billie says:

    It’s nice tho isnt it guido/ ? Although jesus was about to die on this day tomorrow two thousand odd yeras ago his spirit still makes us all feel gay doesn’t it ?

    these guys definately does . I loves god , me

  92. 368
    Leave my sausages and Christmas pudding alone, till girl says:

    Looking forward to a stress free check out in M&S in two days time. At least the hajib will allow me to screen and racial profile the person I select to make my purchases without having to seek the iman`s approval. Spineless cretins.

    • 400
      altruism in industry says:

      I don’t see how it is going to work, an Islamic refusing to accept money at the till for the chardonnay or the bacon ” Well fuck off then and get somebody else over to serve me”.

      • 453
        Baldrick's burger bar says:

        So will the blonde bimbo airhead on till 3 object to selling the woman in the full face cover and bin liner?

        Sauce for the goose…..

        • 454
          Baldrick's burger bar says:

          *serving (not selling)

          • Sad but True says:

            I know what you mean.

            But honestly, if you wink and smile at a girl in a hijab she will fuck you. They can’t wait to find someone to help them escape.

            Just show them what a big Euro-dick you have. The muslims fear use because they know we have big long cocks. The hijab girls love it.

  93. 371
    Gobsmacked says:

    Who else is fucking fed up with programmes on the box following members of the “travellin’ communiteh” spending money on weddings that I could only have dreamed of?

    Literally no expense spared.

    btw a friend of mine who works for a drug and alchohol dependancy unit recently told me that some of the “travellin’ communiteh” visit there. One of the wimmin from the travellin’ communteh recently let slip to her the other day that their caravan was fully paid for by the council!

    • 377
      Expat Geordie says:

      But if it’s paid for by a council then they must have a local connection, i.e. be settled there. Now if it was paid for by central government then I could understand. It would still be wrong but I could understand. By why the hell is it paid for by a council?

      Answers on a post card to:
      My Common Purpose Council Officials Hate Traditional British Values
      PO Box 666
      The Clown Hall

      Don’t worry about WHICH Clown Hall, any will do.

  94. 375
    MrDavies says:

    Merry Christmas everyone
    no matter who you are, where you come from, or what you believe in.

    Don’t forget to vote UKIP though!

  95. 379

    The modern world is not evil; in some ways the modern world is far too good. It is full of wild and wasted virtues.

    When a religious scheme is shattered (as Christianity was shattered at the Reformation), it is not merely the vices that are let loose. The vices are, indeed, let loose, and they wander and do damage. But the virtues are let loose also; and the virtues wander more wildly, and the virtues do more terrible damage.

    The modern world is full of the old Christian virtues gone mad. The virtues have gone mad because they have been isolated from each other and are wandering alone. Thus some scientists care for truth; and their truth is pitiless. Thus some humanitarians only care for pity; and their pity (I am sorry to say) is often untruthful. – G K Chesterton

  96. 389
    Killroy knew this Liver says:

    What’s so bad about a surgeon signing off his work?

  97. 392
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Fookin’ hell my bum hurts.

    Leave off Bubba – at least wait until the bleeding stops.

    What? Yes – ok I’ll suck you dry as long as you promise not to drill my browneye until tomorrow.

    Gloop. gloop, gloop and.. swallow.


  98. 395
    altruism in industry says:

    there are a number of stories of thieves and husbands who attempted to climb down the chimney like Santa but who got stuck and were not discovered for a couple of weeks, those stories always make me chuckle

  99. 397
    IPSA says:

    Happy Christmas, Denis MacShane!

    Hope you have a memorable time.

    Vicky is getting well serviced right now by BBC so no need to worry.

  100. 402
    Happy Birthday ED says:
    • 419
      Sad but True says:

      Councils say they have no intention of banning them as they pay business rates at top $.

    • 458
      MIKE OXHARD says:

      Labour playing to the media once again , fixing a proble that they created
      we are now swamped with on line betting ,gambling TV channels off shore betting ,mobile phone betting ,higher paying slot machines , bigger casinos , 24 hour drinking , all introduced by labour to ease more money out of peoples pockets , in the hope of increased tax take
      and now the put a slant on it as if it’s a Tory problem

  101. 405
    John Prescott says:

    Where has that fooking twat Blowing Whistles got to?

  102. 409
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    In the end though…

    McShane is in prison – Ha ha ha ha

  103. 414

    I always think that Christmas morning is a time to forget and forgive.

    I forgive the sockpuppets and others on here that have been so cruel to me. We are all God’s children and should rejoice in the birth of our saviour.

    Peace be with you all!

  104. 416
  105. 420
    The Jocks get it. says:

    TOO many MPs still don’t seem to understand the gravity of the expenses scandal.

    Denis MacShane, the former Labour member jailed yesterday, typifies the resentful attitude many of them seem to feel towards having their finances investigated.

    The Glasgow-born 65-year-old was sent to prison for six months for expenses fraud after admitting submitting 19 fake receipts amounting to £12,900.

    Yet in a sneering response to judge Mr Justice Sweeney, MacShane said “Cheers” as sentence was passed, adding, “Quelle surprise” as he was led from the dock.

    This arrogant behaviour shows that the former Europe minister has not learned any of the lessons of his case.

    He argued that, since he had made no personal profit from the claims, his crime was not as serious as others.

    This completely misses the point.

    Millions of ordinary people across the UK work their fingers to the bone every day to make ends meet. Their money was used to pay MacShane’s big salary and expenses.

    He had a duty and obligation to all of them to ensure his claims were accurate and backed up by the correct paperwork.

    Failing to do so was a flagrant breach of trust that he can only blame himself for.

    MacShane will spend this Christmas and New Year in prison.

    We hope he will have realised the severity of his crime by the time he is released.

    • 455
      Baldrick's burger bar says:

      Re your final line: He would only have realised the severity of his crime if the punishment for it had matched the crime. A gentle slap on the wrist and a few weeks in a cushy open prison somewhere warm and comfortable will be no incentive for him to ever appreciate how naughty he has been.

      Now, had the sentence been more appropriate – say 6 years or so – then maybe you would have had a point. But while we still have weak headed naive “judges” ruling on these matters, you may continue to expect no change and more of the same for any future instances of MPs misbehaving.

      • 481
        P l e b says:

        Well he does have a criminal record. Does that bar him from being an MP?

        • 501
          Expat Geordie says:

          Don’t think so. You need to have served a 12 month sentence before being disbarred, I think.

          • Wriggly & Slipper, Solicitors says:

            The Representation of the People Act 1981, prevents prisoners serving jail terms of more than one year in either the UK or the Republic of Ireland from being nominated as candidates in British elections. However a siiting MP is unaffected, until there is an election, and remains an MP whilst in Prison, unless he resigns.

          • Wriggly & Slipper, Solicitors says:

            In point of fact it is actually illegal for an MP to “resign”, he must instead apply for “an office of profit, under the Crown”, which then disbars him from being an MP when he accepts such office.

            The Member of any Party wishing to resign, applies to the Chancellor of The Exchequer to be appointed to the position of Crown Steward and Bailiff of the three Chiltern Hundreds of Stoke, Desborough and Burnham, or alternatively as a appointment to the position of Crown Steward and Bailiff of the Manor of Northstead. Historically there were other positions.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            But can a serving prisoner still stand and be elected to Parliament? I’m thinking of the late and totally unlamented terrorist Bobby Sands, who was elected to Fermanagh and South Tyrone back in 1981 whilst he was on hunger strike (or as some of us put it, slimming for Ireland).

  106. 424
    Anonymous says:

    Rather pathetic looking doll of Jesus in service from Westminster Abbey. Why is it white? If Jesus existed he’d look more like one of the woolwich beheaders than a white chav offspring.

  107. 433

    Happy Fucking Christmas, Google, you PC сunts!

  108. 435
    Full Up says:

    UKIP would ideally like to ban foreign criminals like santa. I mean who is he and what’s he doing here. He has the appearance of a low grade dish rag.

    • 442
      Anonymous says:

      Ah but. . . he comes and he goes.

      • 460
        Full Up says:

        I smell the hand of Common Purpose. He’s a genocidal race replacing liar this santa. What’s he doing here?

        • 466
          Dave wants to invite 75million Muslim Turks says:

          I hate to mention this to Full of Crap but Santa is as real as Labour’s magic money trees. But if you are still going to believe in such nonsense when you have reached your teens then why not magic money trees? I am sure his parents have beaten it into him that they exist.

  109. 437
    Satan says:

    Any good at anagrams?

    What’s in a name eh?

    That’s right, it’s me!

    Merry Christmas from Old Nick

    • 441

      Hi Nick

      Happy Christmas to you and yours!

      • 611

        I have learned that this is not Old Nick Heavenly but just another sockpuppet.

        For anyone who is interested, Nick is fine but has his hands full.

        • 638
          Satan says:

          Sorry Cat, but what with influencing the Marxist dialectic to suit the modern world I have been a bit busy, especially with the Argentine Pope looking more and more like he might by the next Pope Paul.

          Santa/Satan: yeah quite amusing and then the Old Nick/St Nicholas bit – surprised nobody noticed it before to be honest! I mean, the attempt to turn a Saint into another demigod should have been obvious to the dimmest of Christians and yet still they can’t help themselves!

          Love to you and all your loved ones, Cat, even though where I come from love is hard to find!

          • My Eminence! I do apologise. It is so easy to mistake cryptic messages and yours actually prompted me to send a Christmas email to my friend and ex-poster here to which he responded with a nice message.

            It is understood how this leaves you with an immense problem, being the deliberate purveyor of all which is bad. Your actions have actually produced some good. Even the Devil cannot avoid the Law of Unintended Consequences, so it seems.

            Now to consider your post in the light of understanding. The Argentinian Pope is rather Noodly this year, I must admit. Your observation is so true. (I realise that with every step, I am compromising your honestly held view, Doh! I have just done it again! And with me a non-theist too. Do you think I should apply for the Holy Pontiff’s position. My mother always wanted me to be Pope…)

            Love to you and yours too. It is perhaps the only truth.

    • 659
      The hike pox bee says:

      ten a lady.
      “i wish i was a napolean”
      “i wish i was a King lear”
      “I wish I wish……please dear”
      make me your babyhimmla.

  110. 444
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    Merry Christmas to all in UKIP – may 2014 be a year to remember.

    Vote UKIP.

  111. 447
    BBC leftard says:

    Happy 215 days until Eid-al-Fitr!

  112. 456 the doors! says:

    Bah f*cking humbug!

    Here is an idea, use all the foreign aid budget / monies to put right or renew the failing infrastructure of this, our own country.

    After all it is our money!

    • 457
      MIKE OXHARD says:

      And while they are at it fix all the fuckin pothole in our motorways and roads , turn back on all the motorway lighting (turned off by Dave to save money)and paint some fuckin lines on our minor roads

      the country is fast becoming a third world shit hole

      Bah Humbugs to all

    • 474
      albacore says:

      But it’s not our money. We have yet to pay it back
      Still, Parliament won’t stop piling it in Santa’s sack
      And blowing it away like there was no tomorrow
      While ensuring, for themselves, they don’t need to borrow
      On treachery and thievery they sit prettily
      May they bear the true fruits of boundless duplicity
      And be consumed in Hell, those parasitic bleeders

      Merry Christmas to the Guidos and all their readers

  113. 459
    Sir Alan says:

    Pete Woodley (aka Blowing Whistles) writing in the Bournemouth Echo:
    “Ofcourse,i have tried in the past,but the very rude comments i received previously,very unlike your own comments,plus my own experience of a few of the shops and locals in that area has made a deep impression on me.All the paint and polish do not make up for the attitude of a lot of the people there which is very clearly shown by the rudeness shown on here, by those who do not know me.I was at one time the chairman of the Winton and North Bournemouth branch and greatly increased the membership,as well as writing a two page feature spread in the ECHO.I have had many small shops,and they were not failures as rudely stated by one of the ignorant commenters on here.There is an old saying “you cannot make a silk purse out of a sows ear” and that applies to Pokesdown.We do in fact have too many shops in Bournemouth,there is obviously only a certain amount of money to go around,and far too many places to spend it,Winton and Moordown have quite a few empty shops,but loads of charity shops and estate agents.Charminster is just full of cafes and licensed bars,ideal for students and the young but not great for the older residents.The Town centre is too hilly and little parking,what parking there is,too expensive.”
    Interesting fellow. Zzzzzzzzz.

    • 468
      Tony Blackburn says:


    • 506
      Expat Geordie says:

      What annoyed me was that he had a go at you over the trial that you sat through (as a member of the public, not a defendant), made a load of facetious remarks about yourself and the defendant, yet later admitted that he wasn’t there.

      Didn’t he also admit a few years back to having done time in Dorchester?

      Also, I notice that he lays off the anti -j.é.wí.sh stuff for the Echo, possible because they require your real name and address (or did when I first registered) to post.

    • 513
      Expat Geordie says:

      Incidentally, I don’t post in the Bournemouth Echo anymore. Not since I got binned for pointing out that the woman who said that Poole Council spied on her to see if she lived in Lilliput School’s catchment area and went to the national press about it, stood for Poole Council in Branksome and claimed that she had lived there for seven years!

      For readers unfamiliar with the geography of the area, Branksome is in the extreme east of Poole, on the border with Bournemouth, whereas Lilliput is near the town centre and close to Sandbanks, about 3 miles away. So Branksome is most certainly not in the Lilliput catchment area. Oh, and she stood as a Lib Dem, and lost.

  114. 462
    Elmo says:

    RBS, bailed out by the taxpayer, has just announced that they want to double salaries and that they have a 500 million bonus pool. What the hell is that?? We are heavily indebted to the taxpayer and have just stolen another 500 million, which we can’t possibly give back to the taxpayer who bailed us out

    • 465
      MIKE OXHARD says:

      I invested £10,000 in that shower of shit , as at the time my wife worked for them When the share price (£5.50p) started to drop all the managers were telling staff to buy as many shares as they could afford , as this was a short term blip and they would soon shoot back up
      so you can imagine how annoying it is when the wankers who caused all this are still creaming it in , and not a one of them has ended up in clink
      Just another case of the rich looking after the rich i suppose

  115. 463
    Jockovitch says:

    Think about the hundreds, maybe thousands of people not more than a few miles from you.. maybe only a few minutes away.. who are outside in this weather. In the cold, in the pouring rain and the gale force wind. Who will be out there all night. Maybe every night. Think about them as you cuddle up under your duvet.

    There but for the grace of not-very-much-at-all..

    • 469
      Sad but True says:

      Fine sentiments, and given the appalling weather we have had recently now would be a good time to give a Christmas gift to those who need it most through those most able to deliver it:-

      ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Acts 20:35

      Have a joyful Christmas everyone.

    • 470
      I hate parasites says:

      I really don’t give a shit about morons.

      And before you whinge, I vote Labour.

      • 472
        I hate parasites says:

        And.. it’s not raining, it’s not windy, and it’s not really all that cold out there.

        And any twat living outside in these conditions should perhaps just get a f*cking job rather than expecting other people to look after them.

        Merry Xmas.

      • 511
        Ol' man ribba says:

        After all the damage these socialist idiots have inflicted on the country the question must be asked:WTF do you STILL vote for them? Do you need a braincell transplant?

  116. 464
    Dave wants to invite 75million Muslim Turks says:

    Christmas greetings to Tories voting for Turkey.

    • 467
      Dimmy Dave's Roma apocalypse says:

      Happy Winterval, peasants!

      Soon be 2014! Another year, another year of cuts, another £11 billion spunked on foreign aid, another £22 billion splurged on the EU (leaving would cost us a lot of money, you know, what what) and, of course, a year of mass invasion.

      And one year closer to my spiffing HS2 white elephant!

      Jolly spiffing!

      • 475
        P l e b says:

        Hey Dimmy Dave, you missed out the first gay weddings.
        Will you get an invite to the first one?

      • 542
        Expat Geordie says:

        Getting seriously pissed off at girlfriends Polish neighbours. People (?) who put the Chav in Chav.

        Anyway just watched selected bits of my favourite war film – A Bridge Too Far – you know, the bits where the Poles get slaughtered, just to cheer myself up. Then I realise that the bit where they get slaughtered crossing the river in dinghies was actually the Dorsets and not the bloody Poles.

        You know, the Poles did bugger all at Arnhem, and yet some retards claim that because of them we won the war! Bollocks.

        • 548
          I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

          The Poles did rather well in the RAF during dubya dubya deuce.

          More sos on your turkey sir…?

          • Expat Geordie says:

            100 pilots of variable quality, as opposed to 3000 others. At the height of the Battle of Britain, 15th September, half, yes half of all British fighter pilots were on leave. The scene in the film where Dowding says “I’ve just told the PM that everything is up” was only true in one sector.

            I’ve been reading Robert Bruce Lockhart’s book, Memoirs of a British Agent, describing his time in Russia during the Bolshevik Revolution. He said that the one group who got more out of the war (WWI) than they put in were the Poles. They did SFA and managed to get a country out of it. He also described them as loud and obnoxious. Sentiments that I can certainly agree with.

            Incidentally, we didn’t have turkey for Christmas lunch. We had New Zealand’s finest lamb.

          • I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

            We’ve got lamb for new years day.

            Normandy salt marsh..mmmmmm.

          • Sad but True says:

            I’ve noticed there was a a concerted attempt to big up the Polish involvement in WWII just after they started arriving here. They made a contribution on their own behalf and were not impressed by Churchill selling them out. Their contribution was no more and no less than your average Brit squaddie.

            Those Poles were the cream and they turned out to be wife-beating alcoholics as anyone in the “designated towns”of Wiltshire could tell you – there is a reason why the small country village of Calne has a surprisingly high crime rate.

            The ones that stayed behind to colllaborate with first the Nazis and then the Communists are the ones comning over now. Utter Hunts. Pinched up little faces and can’t be arsed to say thank you to the girl on the till.

            Brits are the salt of the Earth. They really are. Without them the world descends quicky into a gutter filled with its own shit. Time for us to stop eating Germanic political philsophy and step up to our god-given plate.

            Did you know that the Pharoas, Moses and the Brits were descended from the same Caucasian stock? Well apparently DNA tests indicate they may well have been.

    • 479
      Christmas Greetings from Britain's Obama says:
  117. 476
    Non taxable pikey says:

    Could be worse.

    We employ Filipinos to crew these vessels because not enough folk on Bennies want to do it for some reason

  118. 477
    Moslem Voice says:
  119. 484
    Genghiz the kahn says:


  120. 487
    Another TV ad bleating charitee says:

    Think of those homeless people in the floods today. For just 3 pounds you can purchase them a Lilo.

    • 489
      Char says:

      For 5 quid you can also purchase them a puncture repair advert and for 350 quid you can purchase them a top of the range air compressor to pump the fucker up

  121. 488
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  122. 493
    Wayne and Waynetta labour voters says:

    Oh look baby sheralee look what Santa bought you, a bottle of vodka

  123. 500
    Picky Vyce says:

    Inmate chops off his own penis after telling other prisoners he won’t need it because he is not being released before xmas.

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  124. 504
    And no one knows before barometers says:
  125. 505
    Pollys Love Child says:

    A fat bastard who gives away things made by other people who don’t get paid? Of course he’s a Socialist.

  126. 507
    Jess The Dog says:

    Christmas at Westminster is a splendid spectacle. But this year, they were forced to cancel the nativity due to a lack of Wise Men (not to mention virgins) and the pantomime has only a Tweedledum without Tweedledee with only one Miliband, but at least we have Iain Duncan Scrooge to boo….

  127. 508
    Forward says:

    You could write the names of “Real” socialists on the back of a postage stamp. “Socialism” as practised by the Labour Party and ilk, is nothing more than capitalism in another form.

    Remember children – all parties are socialist in opposition.

    • 525
      Anthony Wedgewood Benn says:

      Even I wasn’t a real socialist.

      • 531
        Sad but True says:

        Thank God. Real socialists end up with such massive opposition to their crazy fucked up totalitarian plans that they end up killing millions just to get their own way.

        It happens every time. When someone says “I’m a socialist” they are basically saying “I believe my own political views are so important I would happily see the murder of 1/3rd of the population of the nation to see them through”.

        • 538
          Eric Hobsbawms Fabian Solutions says:

          I said that.

        • 597
          Expat Geordie says:

          The Greens used to say that. They wanted to reduce the UK population to 40 million as the then population level (was it a 1987 or 1992 manifesto commitment, can’t remember now?) was unsustainable. How would they have done that? Camps? Gulags? Forced starvation? Cambodian style Year Zero?

          Yes those lovely green people wanted to do that. The same lovely green people who are currently turning 21st Century middle class Brighton into 1980′s Liverpool.

          • Nasty Nick Griffin says:

            I can think of a way we could make a start

          • Sad but True says:

            You’re both agreed as so am I.

            UK farming can support only 40 million people.

            Throw all the brown fuckers out. Or just do a Ghandi. Not Mahatma, that lovely Indira lady. They should make a film about her. She sterilised people that were breeding like rabbits. She also starred in the film Moby Dick under the name Gregory Peck but that’s a whole other story and not a word to MI5 (or is that MFI?).

            Only problem is Africa, Asia and the Carribean were glad to see the back of them. It’s not like those bastards were begging us to return their top quality bretheren is it? I wonder why? No I don’t, and neither do you.

          • Wooley Cardigan Head says:

  128. 509
    Tristram Hunt says:

    Someone called Prime Minister David Cameron a Tory. Made my day.

  129. 510
    DENNIS McSHAME says:

    Jesus i feel rough i must have passed out at the moonshine party last night
    I dont remember anything
    but i woke up this morning with a bruised head and an arsehole like a blood orange

  130. 514
    Obama says:

    Merry motherfuckin christmas!

  131. 515

    Of course Christmas is a socialist event

    You get everything you want now , and other people have to then pay for it in future

  132. 518
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    “A Santa’s helper delivering toys in the US city of Washington has been shot”. Wasn’t there an old joke about that?.

    • 520
      Justin Welby is a hypocrite says:

      It aint no joke living amongst our dark friends,the largest concentration of African Americns in the USA

      • 639
        Sad but True says:

        I think the Santa in question was black, poor bastard.

        Time those good black folks realised that siding with a bunch of n.i.g.g.e.r.s. isn’t in their best interest.

        They are letting the alpha male n.i.g.g.e.r.s. control them when they should be rejecting all these c.u.n.t.s. and letting their frontal lobes determine their destiny.

        We could be brothers, but they are letting the meltonin in their skin get in their way.

    • 603
      The ghost of Bernard Manning says:

      There was a joke about a gay cowboy who rode into town and shot up the sheriff

  133. 519
    Justin Welby is a hypocrite says:

    Welby spouting of about the poor and poverty and how we need to do something about it,the we refers to the taxpayer.Can I suggest the CodE divest itself of all its land,its investments and all its other assets and gives it to the poor,I cant remember Jesus having all these assets.The taxpayer has had enough so fuck off and start with your own organisation you supercillious twat.

    • 523
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      A red hot poker up the arse is too good for ‘em.

    • 528
      Sad but True says:

      Christian teaching tells us it is better for us to give, but that pre-supposes that it is a matter of free-will on our part and not something we are forced to do by taxation.

      Jesus also taught in the parable of the three talents that he had no time for wasters.

      Unfortunately the Gramscians have infiltrated the Anglican Church and the Catholic Church still hasn’t completely recovered from the Borgias, so the insttruction we get is often a pile of bull-crap that bears little relation to the simple teaching of the New Testament.

  134. 521

    If you don’t want to be flooded at Christmas Don’t buy a house anywhere near a rive or on a flood plain
    Politicians and Councils are at fault yet again , as they take bribes / bungs / favours from developers to allow them to build on these natural drainage areas forcing the water to go elsewhere
    Yet another reason that politicians are the Worst placed people to be put in charge of anything

    • 644
      Sad but True says:

      Where the hell do you think LONDON is built you twat!

      You have a choice:

      hills – bit slopey,

      flood plains: nice and flat

      As long as you turn the rivers into raging alpine torrents you will be fine. Except in the summer when all the rainwater is pissing into the ocean.

    • 674
      The clue's in the name says:

      Little Venice caravan park flooded.

  135. 522
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Merry Xmas to everyone except the LibLabCon shysters.

  136. 524
    I weren't all that bad really. says:

    Sky news desperately trying to find some really bad flood damage but so far all they’ve got is three pensioners in a community centre looked after by at least 30 council workers on quadruple bonus and a squelchy house carpet that the insurers have already paid out for.

    Better luck next time, Keeeep disaster seeking.

  137. 527
    Luke Ellswear says:

    Pakistan needs more natural gas – we must send them all our MPs for Christmas :

  138. 529
    Luke Ellswear says:

    Seems the modbot never sleeps ….. try this :

    Pakistan needs more natural gas – we must send them all our MPs for Christmas :

  139. 530
    Owen Jones says:

    • 532
      Sad but True says:

      I’ve often though “Where do they get all these people on game shows? Why have I never met them? Why do they all come from Essex?”

      Well now we know. Fucking media people giving free telly time to other fucking media people. Shysters.

      • 537
        How the world works says:

        Of course they do, a few years ago they tried to peddle the myth that Cowell worked himself up from the mailroom to where he is now. what they forgot to mention that his father was already a big wig in the record industry and no doubt that played a part in where he is today.

        • 573
          Max Clifford says:

          Lets face it, if anybody employs me to do their PR you just know they have skeletons in their closet.

          In Simon Cowell’s case people thought of him as Mr Nasty. So I offered a lot of cash to small unheard of charities to say some bull like “Oh yes, he’s worked for us for years but he likes to keep it private” and pointed out to them that although it was chronically immoral the “end would justify the means” as far as the charity was concerned.

          Funny, nobody in the media stopped to ask “If he’s done charity works for years but liked to keep it private why the hell is he being so gobby about it now?”.

          But that’s the media for you. They like Simon Cowell because when it comes to news he’s the gift that keeps on giving. Bit like Jimmy Saville – they knew all about his molesting because they had heard no end of stories, but they liked to keep him just where he was.

          You wouldn’t believe how corrupt we all are. The meek won’t be inheriting the earth any time soon, and when they do it will smell badly of our shit.

  140. 535
    Scotland and Northern Ireland says:

    Is it Christmas Eve yet?…I’ve been hiding in the basement since Sunday when BBC weather told us that we’d be having a mega storm, end of the world stuff.

    The crisp packet is still in the front garden on the same spot

  141. 536
  142. 540
    Fishy says:

    Apparently Milipede is feeding the homeless today (no doubt with BBC camera crew in tow).

    He’d have been doing a loaves and fishes jobby, but as an atheist it’ll be gruel he’s dishing out.

    • 546
      I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

      ‘Doing a loaves and fishes jobby’.

      Sounds painful.

      Not all atheists are curmudgeonly lefty wankers. Anyway, here’s Randy doing a massive shite…

      • 564
        Sad but True says:

        Even for South Park that’s pretty outrageous!

        • 566
          I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

          Nah, it’s tame.

          This is outrageous(ly) funny :

          • Sad but True says:

            I’ve seen this one. It is part of the “Black Friday” trilogy that was based on Game of Thrones and is one of the best they’ve done.

            Still, somehow toothpaste ejaculation is just not quite as offensive as seeing a poo come out of someone’s botty. Maybe I’ve seen too much (non-Japanese) porn.

    • 547
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      A mess of potage :-)

  143. 541
    Food. It is all about food with that one. says:
    • 545
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      Working?, you have never done a days work in your life, 364 x 40 years, why make an exception for the 365 fifth?.

    • 587
      F**K the LibLabCon says:

      Oops a little slip up there from Diane I think.

      Remember Diane you have to say “Happy Holidays” and NOT “Happy Christmas”, we don’t want to offend our enricher friends and be labelled a racist now do we?

  144. 543
    Isla Valegge says:

    Strange – lots of red bull but no wings.

  145. 550
    Non taxable pikey says:

    Graft, corruption, family members involved. The people’s cash stolen, banks assisting in the theft. Plod being slagged off for arresting the culprits. A Prime Minister in denial. The UK? No the Turks only learnt it from our elected thieves.

  146. 551
    Sue Doughty says:

    You can tell he’s not a tax payer. Good thing he is not registered to vote here.

    • 656
      Sad but True says:

      The Finns tried to make him pay taxes but he claimed to be “non domicile” and kept skipping the country.

      Then there was the high profile case of Astrid Lindgren (the writer of “Pippi Longstocking”) in Sweden and she was paying 102% in tax until the Swedes realised that Swedish socialism was a load of wank. So then Santa Claus came to a “special arrangement” with the Finnish tax authorities ands now he is making a lot of money for the Finnish tourist board.

      I know this because I took my kids to meet Santa in Lapland and he told me all about it whilst fleecing me of £2000. It is not simply because my brain is full of all sorts of crap.

  147. 553
    wellies4 u says:

    good to see all those rich types swimming around their living rooms in the fucking flooded south east of england – bout time they enjoyed a bit of strife

    • 562
      Windfall Tax on Royal Mail shareholders 2014 says:

      And to think they have had no visit yet from David Cameron or George Osborne to commiserate with them.

  148. 559
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Happy Christmas to All !

  149. 561
    National Socialist says:

    If the Roma are coming here a week today, they’ll be half way across France by now, unless they’re coming by Eurostar, in which case they probably won’t set off until Monday.

    • 563
      an ex member of NALGO says:

      If you provide a helping hand for the gypsies the EU start giving you lots of other peoples money and invite you to seminars usually close to some coastal resort or spa.

      Worth looking into.

  150. 567
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    The following post may contain sensitive material.

    Vote Tory !

    Hear ! Hear !

  151. 569
    Pope Bliar's Christmas Day Message says:

    As a devout Christian, I often think about my fellow Believers, especially those subject to murder, intimidation, oppression and persecution. My Christmas Day message to Christians and Christian minority communities everywhere, and particularly those killed in Baghdad today, is quite simple: your plight and suffering has absolutely nothing to do with me.

    • 658
      Satan says:

      Devout Christian? You’re a little joker you are!

      How’s the Fabian Satanist infiltration of the Catholic church going on? I haven’t had much luck with them recently. I couldn’t believe my luck with that former Nazi Benedict but he went too far and the real Christians had him booted him out.

  152. 572
    Owen Jones says:

  153. 579
    Sally Bercow says:

    Fuck, it it’s time for the Jack Daniels.

    • 582

      You may have those two items of self-instruction in the wrong order.

    • 583
      I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

      Pisshead..! I’m not breaking out the Whyte & Mackays until 6pm.

      Fuck it, close enough…

    • 647
      Sad but True says:

      There are many images of you on Google images. Some of them are in soft focus. And yet still you look butt ugly. Why is that?

      I look more feminine than you and I have a 8″ cock sticking out of my groin in the general direction of Diamond Jackson.

  154. 580
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    If you’re disappointed with what you receive this Christmas just remember somewhere, someone is unwrapping the Conservative Party manifesto.

    • 588
      Yurak Hunt says:

      Plagiarised from OH, just substituting the Tottenham shirt for Conservative Party manifesto. Weak, very weak.

  155. 589
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

    We LibDems have still got the general public scared here.

    • 592
      An Engineer says:

      Steve Goddard’s basic maths is pretty dire. The chart shows 37% somewhat worried, 14% very worried giving 51% of Americans are worried.

      More than half the population of the US are still morons.

  156. 593
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP

  157. 599
    Hoots! It's Clown says:

    Spend a great day noshing on delicious dark meat.

    What’s your favourite part of the turkey?

  158. 606
    Sally Bercow says:

    Cameron’s watching Downton Abbey; it’s basically EastEnders for him.

    • 607

      Remember when I promised the Country that we were living in Downturn Abbey ?

    • 621
      Sad but True says:

      Eastender is the East End for the middle classes. I spent a lot of time in the East End. Fuck all has changed since the time of Dickens and he missed out the truly awful parts for fear that people would baulk from sympathising with them.

      The East End is “Lord of the Flies” for grown ups.There is something to defend it and much to condemn it.

  159. 609
    Higella says:

    Santa comes but once a year
    A fact you may find shocking
    But when he does, it’s really great
    He nearly fills my stocking!

    • 649
      Sad but True says:

      I;d fill your stocking you dirty “thick” slut. You, me and Diamond Jackson. That’s what I’d call a Christmas party!

  160. 614
    nоtlоB says:

    Look how Labour have fucked this place up:

    • 622
      Liebour enemies of the people says:

      Check on Wirral Council car-parks, these idiots think people will take a bus or train into places like Birkenhead, they have like Liebour in the HOC have been trying to stop people using cars by high prices for parking and the slimes who get paid to make sure a car driver doesn’t stay a second over what he’s paid for, result everybody buzzes of to out of town shopping like Cheshire Oaks , Croft Bromborough and big supermarkets with free parking, Wirral is so full of street furniture and double yellow lines if you can get near a local shop you still may get a ticket.

    • 726
      MIKE OXHARD says:

      Yes i agree i live not far from here and used to shop there , and it was a great place for a night out but not now
      Years ago it was really busy with a fantastic indoor market , out door market shopping centers , Arndale center etc

      Now it’s a shit hole everybody has buggered off to near bye Bury with it’s big new shopping centers

      Bolton also used to have an indoor Aqua park called Water splash built in the 1980′s it boasted large wave pool , Olympic size swimming pool children’s pools , giant water slide sauna’s etc
      It was really popular , easy access as it was right in the center , until in the 1990′s the council in their wisdom Tore the fucker down (may be it upset the muslims)

      So Fuck Bolton council = gang of nutters , running a ghost town

  161. 615
    Shitbreath Brown says:

    “and so when people ask me what sums up the difference between a Labour government and a Tory government I say ‘food banks’. Of course there was a need for food before 2010 but the dramatic growth sadly puts Britain on the map as one of the poverty capitals of Europe – See more at:

    Gordon Brown is a deluded bellend

  162. 616
    Shitbreath Brown says:

    “and so when people ask me what sums up the difference between a Labour government and a Tory government I say ‘food banks’. Of course there was a need for food before 2010 but the dramatic growth sadly puts Britain on the map as one of the poverty capitals of Europe – See more at:

    Gordon Brown is a deluded bellend!

    • 619
      Sad but True says:

      Foodbanks were started by a Labour councillor in 2004, under the eyes of Blair and Brown.

      And then people wonder why Anders Brievik shot those socialists in Norway.

      What a bunch of shits they are. There is no lie to big to be told, no immoral act that is not justified by the dystopia they seek to inflict upon us.

      The road to hell is paved with good intentions – and these are just the devils to lead us by the hand upon it.

      Fuck it, I’ve had too much Christmas drink. I’m writing like a Victorian philosopher.

      • 627
        Thomas Hill Green says:

        And what, pray, is wrong with Victorian philosophers?

        • 631
          Francis Herbert Bradley says:

          Appearance and Reality, dear boy.

          We shall find that it is the one view which will harmonize all facts.

          • Bernard Bosanquet says:

            If society is organic and individual, then its elements can cooperate apart from a centralised organ of control.

            That’s the bit they really want to hear here.

          • Edward Caird says:

            The need for philosophy arises out of the broken harmony of a spiritual life, the different elements or factors of which seem to be set in irreconcilable opposition to each other ; in which, for example, the religious consciousness, the consciousness of the infinite, is at war with the secular consciousness, the consciousness of the finite ; or again, the consciousness of the self, with the consciousness of the external world.

          • Russell B Rand says:

            I couldn’t possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar.

          • Sad but True says:


            Immanuel Kant stated that you have a choice: reality OR the metaphysical.

            If you take upon yoursefl the mantle of the former, you must consider yourself nothing more than a bag of blood, a mechanism, a robot interacting only with other robots.

            Kant rejected this. He claimed if you believed such things then your life was worthless, and if worthless then not worthy of continuance. You are forced to consider the metaphysical if you want to seize the possibility that life has PURPOSE rather than merely a sequence of observed events.

            That Hunt Neizsche belived he could prove otherwise, but he wasn’t such a smart-ass and went MAD, and Marx and the Austrian chap followed in his wake.

            Dawkins is aware enough that the path to the anti-metaphysical leads to Nietsche and onwards to Marx and the Austrian guy and outright HEDONISM so he likes to claim that life without the mataphysical has PURPOSE as Bradley did, and both of them without logical PROOF.

            I believe in the metaphysical and I believe that God made me to understand PLEASURE. Which is why I am both DRUNK and RANDY.

          • Søren Kierkegaard says:

            Everyone needs something to believe in.
            I’ll believe in before it’s my round, though.
            I told you I had somewhere else to be.
            Better start believin’ me when I tell you things.
            You had no reason to assume I’d reciprocate.
            That was a Leap of Faith on your part.
            The more fool you.

          • @ Mr Sad but True

            I hope that the beverages consumed have concentrated your mind rather and that the swelling subsided appropriately with the assistance of a suitable partner which I am certain, in your case, would be of the opposite sex. :-)

            It is not exactly clear which contributor your original invective was directed against so I shall attempt to defend all of them up to, but certainly not including, Mr Russell B Rand.

            In case the other gentlemen above do not turn up today to respond, may I point out that they are all of the Idealist tradition. Indeed, Mr Bradley taught Bertrand Russell (not to be confused with the aforementioned Mr Russell B Rand). The historians are fond of pointing out that Russell’s development veered away violently from the views of Mr Bradley but they seldom mention that Russell retained Mr Bradley’s approach to logic. This has been recorded meticulously by James Allard, Emeritus Professor of Philosophy at Montana State University in his book The Logical Foundations of Bradley’s Metaphysics: Judgment, Inference, and Truth, a copy of which is in my library with a very kind message inscribed on the half title page by the author. I do recommend it to you as Jim has achieved what I had previously taken to be impossible.

            To return to Mr Bradley, he became Hegel’s foremost critic while paradoxically remaining Hegelian! That is unique in the history of prominent exponents of Idealism and highlights a nice ambiguity which helped to give others, some seen above, the impetus to seek further.

            Of course, you may have been referring to a certain J S Mill, who was not on these boards last night, in which case I shall let the matter drop.

    • 642
      REALITY CHECK says:

      Foodbank use increased by a HUGE 2000% under Labour 2006-10.

      • 708

        That should be increased to ∞ (∞% is of course a nonsense) with regard to Labour’s Reign of Terror as there was none before they came to orifice.

      • 821
        Gordon Brown Minister says:

        Even based on the first year, foodbank usage increased by a mere 1353 poo-scent under my prudent rule, not 2000.

        Now if you’ll excuse me, my food bank is about to pay out a dividend.

        Today, I shall wrap it in clingfilm, slip it into my top pocket, and offer it to visitors as a pretend cigar.

    • 718
      Nurse says:

      Gordon, we haven’t had a Tory government since 1997…

  163. 634
    Inyer Nietzsche Ken says:

    • 651
      Sad but True says:

      It’s all bollox. Immaneual Kant laid it bare. Either you belive in the metaphysical or you don’t. Simple as.

      If you don’t believe in the metaphysical there is no god, no purpose, to life, no fuckin’ “Matrix” nothing. Just fuck your neighbours 14 year old daughter if you like because she’s just a robot mad of piss and blood and so is her father.

      If you believe in life having a “purpose” then you are sayin’ there is somthing more to reality than what hits you n th face when you wake ip im the A.M. And if there is a purpose to life then wouldn’t that purpose make its way felt in other ways like through RELIGION and such? And if it did which religion seems to be the best? Is is Buddihsm (lots of people that have given up and live in the gutter), Islam (lots of people killing each other) Hindism (you’re haivn’ a laugh right?) Judaism (handful of people living in a shithole) or Christianity (lots of people living the high life and kicking ass). Obviously the winner is Christianity.

      So there you have it, philsophy in a nutshell for the hard of understanding:

      Don’t belieive in god: fuck your neighbours 14 year old daughter but risk spending an eternity in hell.

      Believe in god: Well merry fucking CHRISTMAS!

      • 652
        Sad but True says:

        Oh, I just want to excuse my spelling which has nothing to do with dyslexia but is all to do with Stella.

        Stella Artois.

      • 936
        Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

        Where do they find these god bothering nutters.

        Atheism for the win :-)

        • 944
          FFS says:

          You have a surprisingly strong interest in UK politics for someone that doesn’t believe there is any real purpose to human life.

  164. 641
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:


    • 680
      No hurricane fish says:

      Any prat who thinks they can, with any sort of accuracy, predict the weather more than 7 days in advance deserves to have a Wind Farm parked in their back garden.

  165. 645
    Nemesis says:

    THe Green Party – a bunch of tree hugging nutters that would send this country back to the Middle Ages. I just cannot believe that they would poll so highly.

  166. 650
    cunt ought to resign says:

    Hunt of the year goes to Malcolm Rifkind for urging war against Syria based on nothing more than dodgy 8200 intercepts and YouTube clips. What a Hunt.

    • 660
      Sad but True says:

      But he was decorated by the Polish democrats for his small part in helping to end the hold of communism over the country.

      So he’s not all bad.

      It’s mot his fault he looks a bit like he might be the brother of Herman van Rompuy-Pompuy with glasses on.

  167. 664

    Time for a new tread. I am bored of commenting on this one.

  168. 673
    The Common Purpose stooge in no. 10, awaiting his marching orders says:

    See ? I told you we should have just bombed them all to hell.

  169. 681
    Russell Hobbs says:

    My advice to David Cameron.

    Head up, stay strong. Fake a smile, move on.

  170. 683
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:


  171. 685
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    Ministers scrap £20m scheme to keep elderly warm

    Vote Tory,you know it makes sense !

    Hear ! Hear !

    • 739
      David Cameron says:

      “I say to those watching today and who are genuinely sick, disabled or are retired. You have nothing to fear.

      • 769
        Liebours PR in action, not help but worry people says:

        The only fear you have if you vote Liebour in and need to go to a hospital.

    • 943
      FFS says:

      They put the state pension up which is more than Labour ever did you cherry-picking fuckwit.

  172. 686
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Benefits blunder adds to Christmas misery for thousands as food banks users triple in 12 months.

    Vote Tory,you know it makes sense !

    Hear ! Hear !

    • 688
      elephant says:

      . . .Oh forgot to add, I’m a thick boring leftie who posts this monotonous shite in the hope that we can have a labour government with red ed and redder ed finishing off what B’liar and Mongo McFuckwit started and most importantly The Beast of Balsover as speaker.

      Yes I’m the one who wanted dennis skinner as speaker, to carry on where the other thick jock cnut left off.

      • 945
        FFS says:

        I think we should have Dennis “I’ve no intention of retiring” Skinner as Speaker.

        There is every chance he will die in the saddle, so to speak, which will make great television and get young people interested in politics again.

  173. 687
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Our Boxing Day release against hunting with Dogs today on .Keep it banned. No to repeal.

    Tally Ho !

    Vote Tory !

    • 727

      I don’t see the problem if you are against hunting simple ……….don’t hunt!

    • 735
      I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

      Foxes can get away from dogs. They can’t run from my .308.

  174. 689
    An awkward bastard says:

    You have to remember that a lot of them did not get their cheques before Christmas thanks to some incompetence or other in the Department run buy Mr Ian Duncan Smith.

    • 691
      Dave wants to invite 75million Muslim Turks says:

      As you can’t trust crap, lazy state workers to run a whelk stall privatise the job.

      • 692
        Grant Shapps says:

        IAIN DUNCAN SMITH: “Why not celebrate Boxing Day by punching someone who can’t defend themselves in the face?”

        And I think IDS is absolutely correct.

      • 946
        FFS says:

        Especially as many of them are unionised Labour supporters with a “job for life” who see no good reason why they should do anything other than cause unnecessary mayhem co-ordinated with Labour’s focus at present on “foodbanks”

        It’s not like IDS is standing there with a huge pile of cheques refusing to let them leave the building is it?

        If Labour think they can play these fun and games from now till 2015 without people clicking on that its all a ruse, they really do think we are stupid.

  175. 690
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    If anyone got an Aston Martin they weren’t expecting in their stocking yesterday……it’s mine. Silly old fucker left it at the wrong house.

  176. 693
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Great article on sky news this morning as they were at various shopping centers as the doors opened for the sales

    Approx 20 million Chinese must have got up early because there was not one Brit managed to run past the camera

    Fucking unbelievable !While we’re worried about a few thousand eastern Europeans and Afghans slipping in the back door Millions of Rinkys are coming in the front door

    • 703
      I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

      You should try shopping at Bicester Village or Bicester Virrage…..

      Sharp elbowed little fuckers an’ all.

      • 716
        Non taxable pikey says:

        The Mainland Chinese train for it beforehand in Hong Kong. HK residents hate the little frukkers.

    • 704

      A very splendid morning to you, Your Grace!

      I do trust that your loins are girt today in the best fashion for our traditional annual (note the number of ‘n’s and the ‘u’ closely!) spit-roasting of the fair Emily?

      I get the lower end, remember which you hogged all last year.

      Your most humble and obedient servant etc..


      • 719
        MIKE OXHARD says:

        Good morning to you Sir
        I hope by now you have emptied you sack , and filled a few stockings
        and that yesterdays stuffing was to your satisfaction

        All the best to you and yours Sir


  177. 697
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    My shoes and trousers are wet. I have no recollection of getting home. I may have fallen in a canal last night.

  178. 702
    Labour council says:

    Merry Islam to everyone!

  179. 705
    Baldrick's burger bar says:

    If I invite the whole of BBC and the entirety of Sky news to dinner tomorrow night at The Ritz Hotel, do you think they will come?

    After all, I am offering free food – just like these food banks we keep hearing about. If the Trussell Twisters closed them all down the world could get back to something like normality and the BBC and Sky presenters could stop wetting their knickers on the subject every 5 minutes.

    But then the instigators of this entire scam would lose out on their looting, wouldn’t they.

  180. 707
    Expat Geordie says:

    Just driven my girlfriend’s Estonian/Russian neighbour to work this morning. She’s a nice girl, unlike the chavvy Polish one, who we refer to as “Chavski”. Anyway this neighbour works in Christchurch, so I had to drive through Iford to get there.

    Iford is the part of Bournemouth that was on ITV national news last night, where there was lots of flooding, etc., (it ALWAYS floods at Iford so I don’t know why it was on the news). The river is almost down to it’s normal level now and apart from a few newly created small ponds in the fields it is pretty dry. Anyway, turned on the car radio and BBC Radio Solent said that after the news they would be going to their reporter in Iford who would be reporting on the “continuing floods at Iford”. it’s going to be a pretty boring report then, unless they make it up, which being the BBC they would never do, would they?

  181. 709
    Expat Geordie says:

    Not sure why this is being móddéd, so I’ll try again.

    Just drívén my girlfriend’s Estonian/Russian neighbour to work this morning. She’s a nice girl, unlike the chavvy Polish one, who we refer to as “Chávskí”. Anyway this neighbour works in Christchurch, so I had to drívé through Iford to get there.

    Iford is the part of Bournemouth that was on ITV national news last night, where there was lots of flooding, etc., (it ALWAYS floods at Iford so I don’t know why it was on the news). The river is almost down to it’s normal level now and apart from a few newly created small ponds in the fields it is pretty dry. Anyway, turned on the car radio and BBC Radio Solent said that after the news they would be going to their reporter in Iford who would be reporting on the “continuing floods at Iford”. it’s going to be a pretty boring report then, unless they make it up, which being the BBC they would never do, would they?

    • 714

      What are the Runton Road lights like this year? I used to live halfway up the road in the late sixties but the main lights are in the panhandle. It is only in recent years that they have begun this rather charming habit. But it is people doing things at their own cost, without council or state involvement; the BBC would not be interested on the grounds that this constitutes subversive behaviour…

      • 789
        Expat Geordie says:

        If you are referring to Runton Road in Poole I wouldn’t know as I don’t head over that way. I do live fairly close, but as work is the other way I don’t go there. Runton Road is now next to a retail park, so there are plenty of lights, just not the sort that I find attractive.

    • 715
      B Boyd says:

      We in the Meeja have orders to push OTT reporting of anything that looks like it vaguely fits in with The Agenda.
      Now, pay your propaganda telly tax pronto and clear out that spare room of yours to make way for a homeless Roma family.

    • 722
      Fishy says:


      • 839
        Expat Geordie says:

        Technically yes, as I don’t believe that “Ski” exists in Polish. However as “Ski” tends to imply any Eastern European, I don’t think that we should honour the bitch by actually getting it right.

        • 840
          Expat Geordie says:

          And just as I hit Submit Comment, I remembered General Sikorski.

          Well, I’m sure that you get my drift.

          • FFS says:

            A lot of the Eastern Europeans that come over are Russian and Ukranian anyway. I hear a lot of people speaking Russian here in Swindon. I guess they can readily buy EU passports on the black market and then they’re in. It’s not like our UKBA would ever filter them out is it?

            Having said that most Russian women have a touch of class, it does tend to be the real Poles that are chavski as you put it. Except those from Gdansk but they’re Germanic anyway and if you are a Germanic Pole living in Danzig/Gdansk why the hell would you want to come to the UK? No, we get all the shite from the massive delapidated council estates around Warsaw.

    • 730
      The BBC supports "responsible capitalism" says:

      “…… unless they make it up, which being the BBC they would never do, would they?”

      You have hit the nail on the head. The BBC has been running a campaign of selective news reporting for almost the past 4 years…they concentrate on small issues that fits with the Labour line and peddle it as if it is THE truth for most of the country….the past so called “Union Days of Action” supportedby less than 1% of public at most but reported by BBC as 99% of the public supporting it OR the recent “Food Bank” line issued by Labour and picked up enthusiastically by the BBC is a good example..making out that almost 100% of the pollution are reliant on “food banks” when the truth is probably less than 2% and that nobody can afford to spend money when any pictures of a Shopping Centre near to you will give the lie to their reporting.

      The BBC is no longer a reliable source of impartial news reporting and parts of it are essentially just the Labour Propaganda Unit NOT an independent news organisation.

      But if you think their present news output is biased just wait until Spring 2015 in the run up to the General Election

      • 741
        Anjem Choudray says:

        ‘almost 100% of the pollution … you got that right.

        • 775
          The BBC supports "responsible capitalism" says:

          Bloody spell checker !!

          • FFS says:

            “reliant on “food banks” when the truth is probably less than 2%”

            It’s nowhere near that much. Just consider how much food goes through the doors of your local Tesco/ASDA/Sainsburys/Morrisons/ALDI/LIDL etc. Huge amounts of food ever day.

            These foodbanks have no more food in them than a small corner shop. You are talking maybe a handful of families using them in a given large town and even then they may not be “reliant” – it is, after all, free food and the underclass have no shame about taking free food meant for those that really need it.

            But as I have said before, Labour and the underclass could find themselves undone by this free food lark. Free basic food could become a universal benefit that would result in the end of the “cash based” welfare state as we know it.

  182. 710
    Tristram Hunt says:

    Are the Tories really trying to make the weather a party-political issue?

    • 950
      FFS says:

      No that was Labour, who created the equation:

      bad weather = global warming = vote Labour.

      Labour are always on the wrong side of every argument. That’s how they build a majority out of minority causes and then use that majority to do whatver the fuck they like.

  183. 713
    • 717

      Richard Seymour (I shall avoid the obvious joke here) has created a groupuscule of his own here. He has been unusually contrarian for a socialist thinker but done so through the traditional leftie prism.

      He will, of course, get fried for this in the Grauniad comments. The laugh will be with us because it will be for the wrong reasons!

      Happy Christmas has just got Happier.

    • 721
      Burn Labour Burn says:

      One of the comments under the article is a hoot. He/she says, presumably with a straight face, that the NHS was a golden star and is only NOW ruined by the Tories. Ha ha! What a clueless in denial moron. Yep, Mid Staffs was truly a golden star.

  184. 724
    National Socialist says:

    The search for Cameron’s brain continues…

    • 729


    • 734
      tachybaptus says:

      the search was called off. You have more hope of finding proof of alien life then a brain in that fuckwit

    • 745
      @# says:


      They are looking for the 32,000 missing DWP payments that claimants should have had yesterday but didn’t.

      DWP promised to pay anyone who could get through by 5pm. But they didn’t keep the helplines open after 5.

      So 32,000 delayed JSA, ESA, pension-related, and hardship payments were not made when due, and the claimants will now have to wait until Friday. Some of those payments were crisis payments for people whose due benefits had already been delayed.

      Happy Christmas, IDS. May your goose be well and truly cooked

      • 773
        Sometimes life does surprise you says:

        We’ve seen the damage Liebour can do after 13 years of terror, if we had a decent uncivil service and not a Liebour indoctrinated, EU common purpose one, maybe one that does actually believe in helping the public and not blocking them then maybe it wouldn’t have happened, but that will never happen as Liebour hate the people who vote for it otherwise 13 years would have be all light and happiness not blackness and nastiness.

      • 774
        "Bank Holiday"...the clue is in the title says:

        “They are looking for the 32,000 missing DWP payments that claimants should have had yesterday but didn’t………….”
        and the claimants will now have to wait until Friday
        December 26, 2013 at 11:34 am

        As yesterday was Christmas Day I find that hardly unusual. If you can find a civil servant or government department or bank open on Christmas day and processing payments let me know.

        • 817
          Expat Geordie says:

          Surely an “Islamic” bank would have been open yesterday.

          Heathen bastards!

          • "Bank Holiday"..the clue is in the title says:

            BUT the Clearing System and APACS ain’t so it matters not what religion you are your credit is going NOWHERE on 25 & 26 December nor on 1 January either.

          • FFS says:

            In any case exactly how is this IDS fault? Is he personally standing on a pile of cheques?

            Could it be, and maybe I’m being to cyncial here, but could it possibly be we have seen a rather horrid tactic from Labour?

            1] It’s coming up to Christmas, a time of goodwill to all men

            2] Now is a good time to focus on WELFARE

            3] We get a big focus from Millibland on FOODBANKS

            4] Suddenly, thousand of WELFARE cheques go missing

            5] A lot of people that didn’t need foodbanks before, need foodbanks now, at Christmas

            And who is in control of these welfare cheques? Is it IDS? Or is it actually heavily unionised members of the civil service that might have an interest in making sure 4] and 5] happen?

            Oh, just google UNISON and FOODBANKS and see what you think….

      • 818
        Expat Geordie says:

        32,000 missing DWP payments? 32,000 payments on one day. Not bad really. As JSA is paid fortnightly, and there are ten working, or banking days in a fortnight, that means that there are only 32,000 x 10, or 320,000 JSA claimants out there.

        Tell George that the recovery is going a lot better than expected and that Mark at the Bank of England can start putting interest rates up.

        320k unemployed in a working population of 30 million is about 1% unemployment. Generally in situations of “Full Employment” you still have about 1% unemployed due to frictional unemployment, which is basically people changing jobs.

        So hallelujah, we have full employment, and Ed Balls can stick his flatlining hand up his arse.

      • 885
        Doctor Mick says:

        What would these waiting claimants have spent this money on? The only places open over Christmas Day were pubs. Ah……..

    • 752
      P l e b says:

      All he has is an ever-increasing layer of abdominal fat.

      I hope SamCam’s got him some new dinner shirts, pontificating-from-a-golden-throne-for-the-use-of.

      Please don’t find his brain. He’d be really dangerous if he had one of those.

  185. 725
    RBS Bankster says:

    Use the £££ bonus to treat myself to a new Maserati Quattroporte GTS for Crimbo; now realised I sank so much Krug champers last night, I’d still be over the limit to drive it today!

    Thank you taxpayers/mugs!

  186. 740
  187. 743
    LoonWatch says:
    • 796

      I was always shit at sums.

    • 820
      Expat Geordie says:

      Yes but the DEBT is still increasing by that, EVERY YEAR. And what is really annoying is that the bits of the public sector that don’t work are “ring-fenced” yet those that do are starved of funds, or have their funding misappropriated. The armed forces work, yet the defence budget is just a sweetshop and BAe have been given they key.

      I also had the misfortune to have to use my local DVLA office earlier this year after my car was written off after it was broken into. The misfortune was that I had to use them. To their credit they were professional, helpful, courteous, kind and all round good eggs (unlike the numpties at DVLA head office in Swansea). They were also all being made redundant in October because the government was closing all the local offices down, but keeping the idiots in Swansea.

  188. 747
    All the Joy says:

    Merry Christmas all apart from the Labkippers.

  189. 750
    HM Prison Governor says:

    McShane spent all XMas day blubbing like a girl. Embarrassing!

    • 762
      GRIPPER SMITH Full time criminal and part time puff says:

      He was blubbing like a girl , because he spent all night taking it like a bitch

  190. 754
    The Spirit Of Christmas Present says:

    Dave’s big society has ended up being foodbanks, as volunteers have had to step in where the state has failed. So I suppose he was right in a way. There is such a thing as society, but not the way he meant

    • 757
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Eutopia 1998 to 2010. Why is labour not still in power?

    • 759

      You fucking dopey Cock ! Food banks were a Labour invention

    • 760
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Food banks are used by people that don’t need them. Look at all the Labour MP’s that are in there all the time.

    • 841
      Flower power says:



    • 860
      All socialists are hypocrites says:

      The Trussel Trust reckons that 1 million people will resort to food banks in 2014.The UK population is 63.25 million so that less than 1.5% of population. 700,000 were reliant on food banks under Labour….so let’s have the facts and not Labour Propaganda

    • 951
      FFS says:

      Wow, you UNISON reps are really pushing this foodbank crap aren’t you?

      When are you going to let people on welfare get their cheques?

  191. 755
    The Spirit Of Christmas Present says:

    Perhaps we can take this government back and exchange it for a better one

    • 761

      Can i swap it for a bucket of dog shit ? i’m sure it has more use

  192. 756
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Why the fuck was Edward Snowden allowed air time on the BBC, on Christmas Day, to voice his message. What the fuck is going on? Who at the BBC sanctioned it?

    • 822
      Expat Geordie says:

      Traitorous bastard deserves to be doing the Tyburn Jig on the end of a length of 3/4 inch Italian rope.

  193. 763
    dingdong says:

    It must be great to be a socialist

    the only new year decision is which productive part lf the economy should they parasite off for 2014

  194. 764
    Well, It IS Boxing Day... says:

    So how about a memorable boxing highlight?
    “Down…goes…Frazier! Down…goes…Frazier! Down…goes…Frazier!”

  195. 765
    Gordon Brown says:

    If it hadn’t been for Cotton Eyed Joe
    I’d be married a long time ago
    Where did you come from
    Where did you go
    Where did you come from Cotton Eyed Joe

  196. 766
    Non taxable pikey says:

    Just found this:

    Google translate does make some odd mistakes, after using it to make my welcome banners for all the Romanian people arriving on New Year’s Day, it managed complex words like “Parasitic unhygienic criminal freeloaders” yet struggled with some simple four-letter words.

  197. 767
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Boxing Day is traditionally the day following Christmas Day, when servants and tradesmen would receive gifts, known as a “Christmas box”, from their bosses… tight bastards have forgotten that tradition.

    • 771
      GRIPPER SMITH Full time criminal and part time puff says:

      Where as in prison it is a custom to welcome new inmates like Dennis by inviting him to share his Christmas “box”

    • 858
      Jack Ketch says:

      But back then the tradesmen would raise a knuckle to their foreheads and bob up and down for the gracious gift of leftovers from the Master’s table. Now the bastards want money!

  198. 770
    Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

    Just been watching Sky News and their reporting of the Boxing Day sales,I kid you not I did not see one white face in the whole coverage,mainly Chinese and Middle Eastern types.Londistan capital of a once great nation going down the shithole.

    • 782
      Vote Tactically Against Labour says:

      Londonistan, Leicester and Bradford. Ed and company will turn more of our cities into duplicates of these dumps if elected in 2015.

      • 825
        Expat Geordie says:

        Coventry and Birmingham can be added to that list. And since my (very white) ex came there, don’t forget the Islamic Republic of Luton.

        • 834
          Expat Geordie says:

          Should be came FROM there, but both apply.

        • 847
          Anonymous says:

          I can vouch for you the (Islamic) socialist city state of Birmingham front. African peeps wearing ‘Islamic’ dress are popping up and floating about in the student areas (houses of multiple occupancy – x to a room and what not).

    • 788
      albacore says:

      What Parliament is full of is smelly and brown
      This great transformation they planned for London town
      The part consummation and realisation
      Of their treacherous intentions for the nation

  199. 776
    gis a clue says:

    Where the hell do they get 87% of the public still want hunting banned, I must have been one of the 13% who said no, don’t know, foff, who did they ask because I was never asked my opinion, 87% of 60 million or 80% of 10 people.

    • 778
      Zorro says:

      The big fox which appeared in the garden yesterday and scared the shit out of my little neice was asked.

      • 861
        Colonel the Hon Basil Stirrup-Cup says:

        Rode to hounds this morning with local hunt and managed to put up a brace of hunt saboteur johnnies Unfortunately they tempted the hounds into a transit van with a piece of left-over Turkey Twizzler and drove off…so that’s the last we’ve seen of them. Put a bit of a damper on the rest of the day I can tell you….no hounds much less a fox

        Ah well…toodle pip and a Happy New Year to you all

    • 807
      Mr Fox says:

      And where the fuck are these so called animal rights activists when the muzzies are slitting the throats of animals (without any sedatives) just to conform with their halal rituals???

      You can palpably see the fear in the animals just prior to having their throats cut. Why are the likes of Macdonalds (et al) kow-towing to a fanatical muzzie minority? Where are the protesters?

      There is something very odd going on here.

      • 829
        Expat Geordie says:

        The problem is that these holy books were written thousands of years ago, before the invention of the fridge. So j.é.w.s and muslims are told to avoid pigs because they go off very quickly in the middle eastern heat. They are also told to avoid certain types of shell fish because it makes you ill unless properly cooked. Hálál/Kóshér butchery was practiced because AT THE TIME it was the most humane form of killing an animal.

        I’ve spoken to a J.é.w.í.s.h. friend about this and he agrees with my theory that if England would have been the promised land, pork would have been okay, but that they should avoid the mushrooms, as England has more poisonous mushrooms than any other country in the world.

        These parts of their holy books were a practical guide to living in a certain area two thousand years ago. The parts that say, “Thou shalt not steal” and “Thou shalt not commit murder” are moral rules that can apply anywhere, even today.

        • 850
          Jack Ketch says:

          “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” Leviticus 18:22

          “If a man is seized committing sodomy, he will be stoned to death.” Abu Dawud (4448)

          Funny that both Chews and Mozzies ignore these rules faster than accepting a bacon roll.

          • FFS says:

            Please don’t quote Leviticus. It is quite clearly a load of crap that has no place in the Bible. It should have been left out.

            It begins with that bit where God appears in a cloud and says “Verily, I have fucked up and forgotten quite a few things that should have been in the commandments, and indeed a lot of other interesting advice”

            So whereas sodomy and homosexuality appears nowhere in the 10 commandments or at all in the New Testament, Leviticus has lots to say about it and so much more!

            It has rules on wearing clothing and dealing with mildew in the home. Rules about beating slaves you have just had sex with. All manner of wierd stuff.

            Christians generally regard the New Covenant as replacing Leviticus, except it seems the particular rules on homosexuality. I see now loogic in this at all. Either Leviticus is made-up bull crap (which it quite obviously is) in which case you can cast it all out, or you keep it all. You cannot just keep the bits you happen to like the sound of.

            I consider myself a Christian. Christ had nothing specific to say about homosexuality. He had a lot to say about those overly eager to point out the sin of others.

  200. 777
    MILF fan says:

    Had a very satisfying christmas food wise. Now feeling rather randy. Any of you chaps have tasty wives with a penchant for swinging? Send them my way for a thoroughly good rogering, especially if they’re well spoken, educated totty with sizeable mammaries.

    • 781

      Hello Sir, glad to hear that you had such a lot of fun.

      I have had a few licking their lips myself. The ultimate thrill is to let them tuck in as I compose on here :) .

      • 786
        Sock Watch says:

        @1:23 pm, @ 12:39 pm, @1:35 am, @1:39 am, @2:04 am, @5:36 am and again @5:59 am.

        You really are a sad loser, aren’t you?

        • 793
          C.O.Jones says:

          Stick a sock in it! Go and troll somewhere else.

          • Sock Watch says:

            SC would have had a comma before the sir as well as after and that only if he were (note use of subjunctive) addressing Mad Frankie Haddock.

            His smiley face goes after the full stop when he uses it. The sock is also projecting his own personality into the composition with his overuse of the first-person singular subject pronoun.

            Apart from that and a few thousand other pointers, he does a very good job.

            One imagines that you are a sock C.O.Jones.

            Happy Christmas anyway and get better soon.

  201. 779
    Hoots says:

    That’s the Scottish ones out then. They all look like Jimmy Krankie.

  202. 780
    The 1922 Committee says:

    The Stupid Working Class Plebs, will always be ruled by us Tories.

    Vote Tory !

    Hear ! Hear !

    • 785
      Labour Troll says:

      No, Labour are the party for the working class because we’ll keep them there where they belong. Those horrid Tories stupidly want to give people the opportunity to lift themselves into the middle class. Imagine that!

    • 865
      The 1922 Committee says:

      And I forgot to add, make dennis skinner speaker of the house.

      I bet you think I’m a Tory.

      You’d be wrong because although I use all sorts of Tory associated monikers I’m actually a very subtle leftie troll.

      ““““““““““““““““““““““““““aren’t I clever?

  203. 784
    Times are not changing just the depth of corruption says:

    Ah!, was trying to work out this report giving Britain all sweeteness and light over putting the Great in Britain, seems it will only happen if we allow immigration and the Scots say NO to the referendum on the break up of Britain, now I wonder who that helps.

  204. 787
    MILF fan says:

    The age old question: are you a breast man or a leg man? I’m talking women, not turkey, Prescott.

    I’m a breast man. Can’t beat a great pair of juicy melons. The curves, the areolas, the nipples. It’s just perfection. And being, as I am, an honest man, I can admit I’m often led by my redfella. Let’s all be honest about that. Millions of years of evolution has hardwired it into our brains to get a stiffy when we see a woman’s cleavage. And women know the power they wield when they have their puppies on display, which is why they love to wear tops with plunging necklines. I can admit that in those circumstances, the combination of cleavage and intoxicating perfume is enough to have me completely under a lady’s spell.

    Small baps are fine too as long as she has cracking legs and a firm arse.

    Goodness. I’m very horny today. Who’d have thought all those servings of roast potato and gravy would be an aphrodisiac.

    Anyway, back on topic. What a lucky man Holly Willoughby’s husband is. That is a world class pair of jubblies he gets to play with.

    • 802
      Dick Fosbury says:

      I think you’re on the wrong website. You had better move along to another site before Dave and Claire’s web censorship initiatves take hold.

  205. 790
  206. 792
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    BBC TV predictably incredibly bland programmes on 1 on Xmas day, what you might call inoffensive (good job what they they really get up to behind the scenes is still a big secret).

  207. 800
    This is where labou has now put us says:

    I have no sympathy whatsoever. This woman has committed fraud or at the very least theft. She knew she could neve pay it back. Where’s the dad? Why is the tax payer h aving to finance her sprogs?

    A single mother-of-two who lives on benefits used payouts from eight payday loan companies so her children could have a special Christmas.
    Unemployed Katie McGill borrowed £1,690 from the controversial firms and will have start paying back £3,000 from January 2.
    The 28-year-old from Devizes, Wiltshire, took out the loans of between £80 and £380 to buy ‘hundreds’ of presents for her children, but now fears she will not be able to provide for them when she tries to cover the repayments.

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    • 803
      RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

      She would make an excellent Chief Secretary to the Treasury in the next Labour government.

    • 836
      Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

      Everyone on this blog should read this link,no wonder this country is donald ducked.I see that this scum has two kids one coffee coloured.I suppose its mad to ask where are the fathers.I hope the loan companies hound her for the money/

    • 859
      Remember ...Vote Labour for more of this !! says:

      But it’s me kids right to ‘ave a PS4 innit ? If they don’t they get bullied at school and feel second class citizens.

  208. 801
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:


  209. 806
    Owen Jones says:

  210. 810
    Anonymous says:

    If David Cameron so much as mentions Downton Abbey during PMQs, then I’m afraid he needs to be killed, possibly after a spell in the Tower.

  211. 812
    he's mad and he's bad says:
  212. 827
    C.O.Jones says:

    “Gordon Brown reduced the British Prime Minister’s salary by £50K just as he left office. Petty and spiteful.”

    What a low quality person, scum certainly floated to the top with this man IMO.

  213. 828
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:


    • 833
      Expat Geordie says:

      He was well ahead of his time then because in 1972 “Climate Scientists” were more concerned about the onset of a new ice age. They probably regarded it as bollocks then, it’s certainly bollocks now.

      • 935
        MIKE OXHARD says:

        They invent a theory to secure vast amounts of funding , then when it doesn’t happen , they invent another one to continue with said funding

        Sky news yesterday , we are going to start getting weather forecasts for space !
        FFS they need to start getting the fuckers right here on earth first !

  214. 835
    Expat Geordie says:

    Isn’t it nice and pleasant on here without Blowing Whistles, sorry, Pete Woodley, on here being nasty to everyone?

    • 863

      How old is this Pete Woodley? Does he run a shop in Pokesdown? Strange that he can’t spell and punctuate if he is as old as suggested.

      • 873
        Expat Geordie says:

        Well my grandparents couldn’t spell or punctuate either. Actually my parents weren’t that good at it either, and they would be about his age, or perhaps just a bit older.

        From previous recollection, or at least what he has had to say on the Echo website over the years, he is in his sixties, possibly; is disabled, but not too much; is friendly with the police, but spent three weeks in Dorchester Prison a few years back; doesn’t like being contradicted and gets personal when you do; and stood for Peter Charon’s council seat when he stood down from being “Leader” of Bournemouth Council, gaining a whole 15 votes.

        Like Charon, who had his own blog on the Echo website for a while, he has a tendency to post when pissed, or very angry. Some of Charon’s midnight replies were “interesting””. Woodley also appears to think that he has the power of arrest for some reason.

        I’m convinced that it is Woodley (95% anyway), but it is interesting that it has gone quiet, sorry civilised on here since I named him. The thing is, I don’t like bullies, and I know people can get really bullying over the phone or on-line when they wouldn’t dare do it face to face. I don’t work on the phones at work – never have thank God, but I’ve seen blokes bigger than me reduced to tears by someone on the other end of the phone who are probably half their size. (Can you tell that I was picked on as a kid?)

        Apologies for the late reply – got Zero Dark Thirty on DVD for Christmas. Not a bad film but quite slow. Anyway, it’s Kelly’s Heroes on ITV 4 until 10.00 and then Bluestone 42 on BBC 3.

      • 875

        Very funny if he is. We have all suffered enough.

    • 880
      Cardinal Biggles says:

      I’ve imagined for a while that Blowing Whistles was a David Irving alter ego, slumming it with us plebs. His absence from these parts for the last day or so may mean that you have correctly identified him, or he may have gone on pilgrimage to the Holy Land.

      • 891

        El Hadj Blowing Whistles or Rabbi Blowing Whistles, I wonder?

        Perhaps he can create a synthesis by the conflicting parties all hating him… :-)

      • 892
        John Courage says:

        Or he’s been on a well-deserved pisser (for us, that is), there’s that possibility.
        That lad needs to let his hair down every once in a while and just say, “World, sod off for a few days!”
        Just don’t get him started, by discussing the you-know-who’s or the you-know-what system. It’s liable to get you and him 86′d. That old maxim about religion, politics and the barman’s marriage will always stand you in good stead.

        • 896

          That is all very well but this is a political blog. It is precisely what we do here.

          He is not a lad, either. He is an old man (using his own yardstick).

          Finally bugger the fact that he might get started! The saner types here are already started by these lying, grasping, ignorant MPs who infest the Palace of Westminster like termites… except they are of a rather lower taxonomic order.

  215. 844
    Wes says:

    Re: 801
    Gordon Brown signed a waiver in Dec 2009 – a full six months before he left office reducing his pay to £150K. It only affected his time in office, and future PMs would get the full package as before.

    If anyone wants proof I have the confirmation from the Cabinet Office.

    • 939
      This is where labou has now put us says:

      Maybe so but its the 50% tax rate situation all over again. No one coming along behind can increase ( or reduce it in the case of the tax level) it back to its level when he was PM without loads of flak from Labour

      hence its permenant as Brown fucking well knows just look at the constant barracking from the left wing twats about the 45% which actually made more sense.

  216. 845
    Brown out & pay me damages. says:

    Fuck off Miligimmick. Fuck off Balls!

    • 852
      Brown out & pay me damages. says:

      In fact, fuck off everyone. That’s right, fuck off everybody in the whole fucking world! Then perhaps, once you’ve all fucked off properly, I may allow a few of you to unfuck back again on a case-by-case basis.

  217. 848
    Wes says:

    How do I post an image?

    • 851
      The Doctor says:

      At your age, and in your state of health, I would strongly advise against trying.

    • 882
      C.O.Jones says:

      You cannot post an image directly onto this page Wes, suggest you post on an image hosting site and place link here (even twitter will do as host, as you can see, others here have managed to get tweets with images posted).

  218. 864
    Any Chance it will be crushed and sunk without trace? Please. says:
    • 877
      Penguin Classics says:

      Hell is.

      Stuck in the ice on a ship full of Global warming Guardianistas.

    • 883
      Cardinal Biggles says:

      Are they doing a re-enactment of Shackleton’s expedition of 1914 – 15 and being true to the original? I doubt they will get such dramatic and evocative pictures as those taken by Frank Hurley.

    • 887
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      FFS, we are all freezing our bollocks off, is it a mind over matter experiment?.

    • 901
      UKIP first and last says:

      A ship stuffed to bursting with left wing man made global warming propagandists? We can only hope that the ship sinks leaving them to enjoy the reality their fraud has had on so many thousands of elderly poor in the UK out on the ice pack they deny exists.

      • 905

        I even have a small corner in my consciousness arguing that they should be saved in order that they come to recognise their extreme foolishness.

        • 955
          FFS says:

          Fat chance. Has the multiple failures of socialism ever convinced these mugs that socialism may not be the best way to help the poor? No. They just believe we need more of the “right” socialism.

      • 954
        FFS says:

        How the hell did they get stuck in the ice? It’s the middle of summer down there. That ship is going to be stuck there for some time. Maybe it will become permanently trapped in the ice, a folly in memory of the failed theory of AGW

  219. 867
    Right Full Rudder says:

    Santa Claus convinces children they’re getting things for free from a magical figure, when in fact the gifts have been paid for out of their parents’ earnings.

    Of course he’d vote Labour.

  220. 870
    'Chillaxing' Dave says:

    I think Gui do’s web-site should be suppressed by my pr0n filter.

    We don’t want the wee children reading the sort of thing those subversive malcontents are always banging on about.

  221. 871
    Washington Examiner says:

    Be prepared: Wall Street advisor recommends guns, ammo for protection in collapse

    • 879
      Wall St Advisor says:

      In the event of societal collapse, which would you rather have:

      a) guns/ammo.

      b) a packet of liquorice allsorts

      • 956
        FFS says:

        On the brink of civil war as the wealthy whites realise that the Hispanics consider voting as simply a means to steal their dosh.

        So guns would be in order, yes.

  222. 872
  223. 878

    SO WHAT ???

  224. 881
  225. 893
    Mick P says:

    I’d vote for more Moroccan marmite tunnels to park my chorizo in

  226. 894


    There is so much junk at the bottom of the page that this is to find out where we have got to.

  227. 897
    The stooge in no. 10 whose purpose is common with Vacant Ned's says:

    I give you all my cast-iron promise that you can have a referendum on the EU once it’s too late to matter, the result of which I will ignore anyway because you lot are a bunch of stupid plebs whereas I know just what is needed to stuff my personal bank accounts to bursting.
    I am a dedicated EU-phile; my banal ganglia has become totally occupied by the EU parasite and I am convinced that a massive expansion of the ‘Civil’ Service is needed to keep you plebs enslaved by the machine of mis-government. That’s why your kids should all start learning Mandarin instead of French or German.
    As for exams, I’ve told that Gove fellow that cheating is to be allowed, consequently there will be no excuse for Peking ducks.

  228. 899

    We really really need a new thread

    I am starting to bore myself with all my comments on here.

    • 902
      Sock Watch says:

      Quite understandable.

      @5:46 am,
      @1:23 pm,
      @12:39 pm,
      @1:35 am,
      @1:39 am,
      @2:04 am,
      @5:36 am,
      @5:59 am.

      All devoid of humour, interest and content.

      All projecting your solipsistic approach to life, far and away from the approach of the real SC.

  229. 900
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Greg Barker chose to attend a fox hunt on Boxing Day and in so doing allowed his name to be associated with a campaign to change hunting laws.

    Greg Barker is an energy minister who chose to go hunting whilst thousands of families were suffering the distress of being without electricity over Christmas.

    “Greg Barker could have used to time as a minister to ensure that all was being done to get power back to the affected families. He could have chosen to support the team of hard working engineers who have lost their Christmas. He could have taken to the airwaves to re-assure people that all was being done to deal with the country’s power outages.

    “What he actually did was go hunting.

    “Mr Barker is the symbol of everything that is wrong with David Cameron’s government. He displays a sense of entitlement that embodies the phrase “out of touch.

    “The energy minister who chose to go hunting in a massive power cut says all you need to know about he priorities of today’s Tories in power. Margaret Thatcher would have been appalled”

    • 918
      The Common Purpose stooge in no. 10 says:

      We faux Conservatives have to prove that we’re just as out of touch as Ed’s lot, and Nick’s lot too – it’s all about giving the voters a balanced but meaningless choice.
      So, to all you plebs affected by power cuts I have this to say :

      Warm yourselves up with a large stirrup cup, and if that doesn’t quite do the trick then go and stand in a fresh cowpat. Works for me (when Becs isn’t to hand).

      Tally ho !

    • 924
      Dave from Witney says:

      Thanks for the idea. I was wondering when to wear my new Barbour jacket and waders I got for Christmas…I’ll just get my PR guys to arrange a few photo-ops straight away. Nothing like the caring face of modern conservatism to garner a few votes in the marginals

    • 940
      FFS says:

      Yep, I bet that’s just what the sparkies fixing the cables need. Some bloody energy minister half-way up a pylon with a box of tools from Argos. Get real.

      Also Greg Barker did not attend a fox hunt. Fox hunting is illegal. So you’ve managed to libel him as well there, well done.

  230. 903
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    We are unable to add your comment at this time,Prime Minister.

  231. 904
    Tristram Hunt says:

    Why do the Tories go on about Ed Balls? It is because he is getting under their skin. I sit near to him and see he gets under David”The One Term Prime Minister” Cameron’s skin at PMQ’s.

    • 906
      Prorogued says:

      You are about as funny as a fire at an orphanage. Have you cleaned up your room as Mummy told you?

  232. 908
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    The rich are the law.

    Vote Tory !

    Hear ! Hear !

  233. 910
    Blowing Whistles says:

    What to have for dinner?

  234. 912
    Prorogued says:

    I gave my grandfather a petrol-infused cigarette for Christmas to help him quit smoking.

    You should have seen his face light up.

  235. 914
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Job hunting is so hard :(

  236. 915
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    looks like i’ll be spending the rest of the day tiding up after last nights wild storms

    • 957
      Heath and Safety says:

      Leave it to the council. They have special tools for this sort of thing. You don’t want to put your back out this Christmas.

  237. 917
    Anonymous says:

    To all those in the South suffering in the floods. Remember we are all in this together.

  238. 919
    MILF fan says:

    Those of you with big breasted wives, send them my way. I’m in the mood for a soapy tit wank from some posh mature totty.

  239. 921
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish you all a Happy New Year.

  240. 922
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Hey Guido
    There’s a great piece on sky news you would really like
    Piers Morgan has always reckoned he is great at cricket
    so yesterday they stuck him in the nets against a top Australian bowler
    he spent half of the over rolling around on the floor and ended up with one broken rib , one bruised rib and a massive lump on his head according to sky

    ha ha ha there is a god

  241. 923
    Burn Labour Burn says:

    Is it bad that, when I wake up every morning and check the news headlines, I’m always hoping to see news of Blair’s death? Does that make me nasty? In my defence, it’s just that I think the world could do with good news, and much of the planet would openly celebrate if that evil war criminal c-unt was to kick the bucket. I would go out onto the streets and throw a Blair Is Dead party.

    • 927
      The Report that the British Public will NEVER see published says:

      Will 2014 be the year that Chilcot finally publishes his report ? Don’t bet on it !!

  242. 928
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Have you lot at Fawkes and Co. read this through your hangovers, about why young voters don’t vote our little darlings and their dear leaders had better, and learn something. Not so much being bored, although that is a major factor, but anger of non fulfilled promises, please note Dave Boy, Cleggie and crew and young Teddy Boy. They could go down to their local polling station on voting day and scribble across the voting paper, “Non of these silly asses ” or words to that effect, the message just might get through, but the government that does get in would probably make it illegal to spoil a voting paper like that.

    • 930
      vox populi says:

      There is a long history of young voters not voting in general elections. Margaret Thatcher managed to reverse that trend.

  243. 931
    vox populi says:

    Massive Bomb Rocks Lebanese Capital

    Damage estimated at £4:37p

  244. 933
    Mrs Thatcher says:

    I’m considering standing for parliament in 2015.

  245. 941
    Real Conservatives vote UKIP says:

    I for one would love to welcome the ashes back to Westminster.

  246. 958
    Santa's little helper. says:

    Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho.

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What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun
City Minister’s Inheritance Tax Dodging Trusts | Indy
What I Would Have Done if I was Sarah Wollaston | Iain Dale
Boris is an Epic Europhile | Louise Mensch
Warsi Got PM to Confront “Secular Fundamentalism” | Fraser Nelson
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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