December 19th, 2013

Balls Launches Career Saving Cost Review For Third Time

Fighting for his job, Ed Balls has done what Ed Balls does best and relaunched an old idea to try distract from his current woes. Labour have today announced a zero-base cost review of all public spending: “a root and branch review of every pound the government spends from the bottom up”. Which is all well and good.

Labour are saying that they are launching this review today. Except for the fact that Labour already launched it. Here is Ed Balls in September 2013

“Of course Labour will always make different choices. We will combine iron discipline on spending control with a fairer approach to deficit reduction. And with our zero-based review – a review of every pound spent by government from the bottom up – Rachel Reeves and my Shadow Cabinet colleagues have begun the work of identifying savings so that we can switch resources to Labour’s priorities.”

And here is Ed Balls launching it in September 2012:

 “The public want to know that we are going to be ruthless and disciplined in how we go about public spending. For a Labour government in 2015, it is quite right, and the public I think would expect this, to have a proper zero-based spending review where we say we have to justify every penny and make sure we are spending in the right way.”

Ed Balls should know by now that just because you say something three times, it doesn’t make it true.

He’s going to have to try harder than this.


  1. 1
    ancientpopeye says:

    Balls talks nothing but a lotta balls.

  2. 2
    DtP says:

    So not only has he announced it 3 times – he’s done fuck all about it for well over a year? Lazy and mendacious – what a guy!

    • 53
      I hate socialists. says:

      Miliband and Balls, sounds like a comedy act. Except it would not be funny if
      ever these two muppets got anywhere near the reigns of power.

      • 56
        Pedant on duty says:

        That should be ‘reins’ of power, old chap. Think horses. While I’m on, it’s ‘toe the line’, not ‘tow’, and Canute did not think he could hold back the tide. Glad to be of help.

  3. 5
    TheOldCodger says:

    Maybe he is OK on the piano – or is he rubbish at that too!

    • 24
      I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

      I could thump the piano’s keyboard with my cock and produce sweeter sounds than Balls’ tinkling.

    • 50
      John Bellingham says:

      As in economics, he plays all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order or at the right time.

  4. 6
    Ctesibius says:

    What is astonishing is that after ‘neo-classical endogenous growth theory’, ‘an end to boom and bust’, ‘Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction’, Balls thinks that anything he says has the slightest credibility even if he says them a hundred times.

  5. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    Re-Heated Turkey

  6. 8
    Fabians are Evil says:

    The man is a dangerous flawed fool

  7. 9
    Pie watch says:
  8. 10
    Peter Martin says:

    Repeat it often enough? Tried and trusted. All you need is control of the state broadcast systems and eventually everyone will think black has become white. Luckily, in this country we have… oh.

    You play it Ed, they’ll hum it as long as it takes.

  9. 13
    Less we forget says:
  10. 14
    FFS says:

    “we have to justify every penny and make sure we are spending in the right way.”

    So how was he spending the money back when he was in the Treasury?????

    How can he justify this palpable bull-crap?????

  11. 16
    No, thought not.. says:

    So, they’ll be explaining to us all why every one of the fifty three million pounds sent to the EU, every day of the week, is a pound well spent?

  12. 19
    Labour Fucktards says:

    Stinking useless Hunt

  13. 23
    FFS says:

    He really is a neo-endogenous growth

  14. 25
    Graham says:

    He’s a complete fucking dick-Ed.

  15. 27
    Fishy says:

    Ed Balls: I know Ed, let’s launch another another zero-base cost review. That’ll convince the punters

    Weird Ed: Come into my office – we need to talk turkey*

    (*readers may wish to insert a ‘ , ‘ into Ed’s response, as they see fit)

  16. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Wallace and Grommit live.

    • 51
      Jack Ketch says:

      I would gladly support the handing over of the economy to a duo as inventive, patriotic, prudent and real as Wallace and Grommit. The photo at the top of this column appears to be of the late Bernie Winters and one of the extras from “Shameless” who probably lack the skills to do anything other than provide us with a few laughs.

  17. 33
    The LibLabConners are all the same says:

    It’s a shame we’re going to have this bunch as the Government from 2015.

    All because of the essential removal of bumsex Dave and his faux Conservatives.

    Still it won’t make much difference, after all Dave’s overspending and borrowing yet another £300 million today as usual.

    • 41
      Pick litter for bennies says:

      Don,t underestimate the effect of UKIP,s landslide at the European elections on the Conservatives desire the be re-elected.Defeat is sure to concentrate minds.

      • 47
        cynic says:

        Yes, they’ll concentrate on troughing all the more frantically as they see their time expiring.

  18. 35
    aliens review says:

    Oh and what about Miliband laser eyes spending review

  19. 36
    blank piece of paper review says:

    If ever there was a review. We have a piece of paper with nothing on it. We shall put on it what we want to spend. What happened to it?

    Miliband autumn 2010(?)

  20. 37
    The Lobbyist says:

    Anyone would do a better job than Balls.

  21. 38
    Song for Balls says:

    Once, twice, three times a loser
    And we despise you

  22. 39
    Ethel of Purley says:

    So who is the gormless fucking bell end with Ballsup?

  23. 40
    Cardinal Richelieu's mole says:

    For once Balls is quite right for Guido is, alas, wrong to say “Ed Balls should know by now that just because you say something three times, it doesn’t make it true”.

    But repeat ad nauseum in the way of the proven liar and alleged war criminal with the cheesy grin and eventually the gormless British public come to believe the lie.

  24. 46

    He don’t givatoss, do he?

  25. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, who was the other guy in the Oxford photo? The one with the plastic bum?

    Someone, somewhere knows. Drop Guido a line.

  26. 60
    The Critic says:

    He says his primary aim is to ‘do nothing which will harm the economy’ as part of this review. Obviously he has forgotten his efforts between 1997-2010.

    It’s too late Ed, damage done.

  27. 62
    Mike Oxenfire says:

    Miliband in his best “I’m Bernie Winters” pose.

  28. 64
    Ballox Economics! says:

    Another Gimmick repeatedly repeated!

  29. 65
    Ballox Economics Review. says:

    Ballox Economics has undertaken its own review and it cost nought:

    The review concludes that Balls is a communist creep who is in the pocket of the unions and thus should be sacked!

    With sincerity

    The Ballox Economics Review.

  30. 66
    Turkey Balls says:

    Gobble Gobble Gobballs!

  31. 69
    Turkey Balls & The Christmas Pudding says:

    Thanks to the weak, dithering, unprincipled, cowardly Ed Militwat; Balls will be the only Turkey to survive over the Xmas period:(

  32. 70
    alexei romanov says:

    A week is a long time in politics,this is an eternity!

  33. 73
    manicbeancounter says:

    I strongly agree with Ed Ball’s suggestion of “a root and branch review of every pound the government spends from the bottom up”. So long as it is done by independent auditors.
    More important at present it a “root and branch review” of why our energy bills are going up. Ed Miliband blames it on rising profits of the energy companies. I have looked at the figures, and have found it is due to rising costs – most due to the Climate Change Act that Miliband help steer through Parliament.
    Unlike the Ed’s, I do the analysis to understand the issues.

Seen Elsewhere

Warsi Got Cameron to Confront “Secular Fundamentalism” | Fraser Nelson
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Labour’s Left and Right are Growing Restive | Staggers
Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
More Missing UKIP Money | Times
Church Should Fight Evil of Welfare Dependency | Stephen Glover
1 in 16 Pick Up Infections in Filthy NHS Hospitals | Mail

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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