December 18th, 2013

The Hair Apparent: Bald Boris Update


  1. 1
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    We shall abolish Nick Clegg!

  2. 2
    John McTernan says:

    Blustering Baldy Boris has a certain ring to it.

  3. 3
    I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

    Can’t he get a sample from Fabricant.

  4. 4

    Who knows p’raps a Baldy Boris would be a better PM, innit?

  5. 5
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    Hear ! Hear !

  6. 6
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Boris is losing hair capacity :-)

    Hair today gone tomorrow.

  7. 7
    Abbott visits another school that she refused to let educate her son. says:

  8. 8
    John Ward (Medway) says:

    He needs to get some more ported over to his bonce. A kind of ‘new hair-port’…

  9. 9
    Black Cabbie says:

    Never mind getting them to walk to school. Hows about you walking to work?

  10. 10
    Still the funniest PMQs moment ever says:

    This never ceases to be delicious to watch. Greatest own goal ever.

  11. 11
    Ippikin says:

    Wish I had his hair!

  12. 12
    Everyone in Chingford says:

    Boris passed his peak a couple of years ago. The novelty has worn off. He can still be entertaining from time to time but the credibility has gone. Too many lies Boris. People see through you.

  13. 13
    Guardian advert says:

    Vacancy for lady gardener.

  14. 14
    Put up says:

    Such as?

  15. 15
    Mitch says:

    My issue isn’t his hair, it’s his lack of stature and temperament to be PM. His latest wriggling on Heathrow also doesn’t inspire confidence.

  16. 16
    A Boris Lie says:

    “We won’t expand Heathrow”

  17. 17
    Everyone in Chingford says:

    He made a series of direct and public lies about saving the Walthamstow dog track development while actively seeking votes.

  18. 18
    PT for All says:

    Good point. Hackney to Westminster would be good for her.

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    At least there’s no birdshit in it Guido

  20. 20
    Diane Abbott says:

    What’s the mileage rate I can claim for that?

  21. 21
    Larry The Downing Street Cat says:

    Boris will soon need to seek advice from Cliff Richard’s hair dresser!

  22. 22

    Daniel Levy Models Himself On Kim Jong-Un
    Crap businessman Daniel Levy has revealed his idol and mentor is North Korean drama Queen Kim Jong-Un.

    The Spurs chairman, who has just ruthlessly sacked yet another manager, insists the obese dictator’s style and complete disdain for all humanity is something to be admired rather than deplored.

    He said: “Kim is an amazing guy – the fact that he uses his power to kill and let poor people die is simply fantastic. That makes him a true original in my eyes.”

    Asked if his relationship with Kim is platonic, Levy responded: “Of course it is. We have never gone further than hand holding accompanied by long bouts of eye contact.”

    Jong-Un has consistently denied he is a woman strapped inside an overweight man’s body

    A source close to Jong-Un admitted that he has been taught to execute anyone who gets in his way.

    The source said: “Everyone who works for Kim is scared to pass him in the hallway, because rather than make awkward conversation he will take out a gun and shoot you in the face, which generally results in a fatality.

    “Although most North Koreans live a worthless existence anyway , so the Dear Leader thinks by shooting them at point blank range, he is giving them some much needed excitement. He generally lays on top of the male corpses and humps them until he is satisfied…it’s a great work environment.”

  23. 23
    Shane Warne says:

    Couldn’t he sort it out by rubbing some “Flim Flam” on it?

  24. 24
    HoC says:


  25. 25
    TrueBlueBaldie says:

    Join the club Boris, there’s no pain with it.

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    But Boris is always one jump ahead

  27. 27
    I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

    Is that like ‘whiff whaff’…?

  28. 28
    The Chinese and Arabs pull the puppet strings says:

    Can’t really nail that on Johnson. His idea for a new airport east of London was a good idea, most of the infrastructure already built and no noise pollution for millions.

    Blame Cameron and the money men who run him and Heathrow, for that.

  29. 29
    Terry Wogan says:

    Google says it is only six miles, a few detours well be required to beat her flab.

  30. 30
    Terry W0gan says:

    Google says it is only six miles, a few detours well be required to beat her flab

  31. 31
    Jimmy says:


    It is only socially acceptable to insult bald people if they have eyebrows.

  32. 32
    Alf Garnett says:

    By rights, he should have been as bald as a coot years ago; if the theory of association between baldness, potency and progeny is correct.

  33. 33
    Health and Safety says:

    She’ll need to vary her route failrly often to save wear and tear on the pavements

  34. 34
    How politics works says:

    Boris island was a non starter from the word go and Boris knew it. He used it to present himself as a man of the people whilst all the time knowing it would come down to the options now on the table.

  35. 35
    Londoner says:

    But he managed to milk it for a few overeas ‘fact finding’ jollies to boost his image in the meantime. The man is proving to be little more than the mirror image of Ken Livingston in that regard.

  36. 36
    Thoughtless cow says:

    Nice of her to leave that wee lad open to jibes…

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    all this hair thing boris and the chancellor is too intellektual for many of us

  38. 38
    Pissed as a newt says:

    Probably reduced the ‘hospitality’ drinks budget though (allegedly)

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Boris with a transplant is not an option

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    Boris give it up and shave your head.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Could we see a new Die Hard Film set in London with Boris and Bruce taking on the Bad Guys.

  42. 42
    Psyche the Dog says:

    “Will his chances of reaching No.10 recede with his hairline?” Well Geedes, there hasn’t been a baldy as PM since Churchill

  43. 43
    Psyche the Dog says:

    He has tried that, but found it doesn’t work

  44. 44
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Wasn’t this blog adertising hair transplant surgery, send them their phone number Guido

  45. 45
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Little Willie Hague did that and doesn’t he look a sweety?

  46. 46
    Non taxable pikey says:

    How many pie shops on the route?

  47. 47


  48. 48
    Deathly Allhallows says:

    Major fallout from Boris Island

Seen Elsewhere

Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Tory MEP Promised Bashir Investigation | Scrapbook
Stop May Pact | Times
Wake Up Call For Capitalists | CapX

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