December 18th, 2013

Rudolph the Red-Arsed Reindeer

santa

Labour MP Graham Jones with the most unfortunate Christmas card of the year. Looks like Santa’s next on the list for Operation Yewtree...

Via @labourwhips.

263 Comments

  1. 1
    ℬilly ℬumshire says:

    Wish I was that Reindeer ;)

  2. 2
    Santa says:

    You can’t tell the difference between a reindeer tail and a penis?

  3. 3
    MSNBC FATALLY BIASED says:

    Awkward! At least the reindeer has got a smile.

  4. 4
    Hot out here says:

    That’s not from Graham Jones, it’s from Graham Swann.

  5. 5
    Bad Santa says:

    “Rudolph with your arse so tight,
    won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”

  6. 6
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Freudian slip?, it’s got everything, a psychoanalysts dream…parole denied!.

  7. 7
    MARK OATEN it's the way i Smell e'm says:

    Is that Jack Dromey dressed as a reindeer ?

  8. 8
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    The Tories asks ‘what is David Cameron for?’ Not sure he answers his own question, and therein lies a tale.

  9. 9
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Psst!, want to buy a dirty Christmas card?.

  10. 10
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Was the card all Graham Jones work, not bad for a labour MP.

  11. 11
    The British media are cunts says:

    The BBC will like that one.

  12. 12
    GRAHAM JONES MP says:

    I commissioned my 4 year old daughter for the purpose of designing my own unique Christmas card at a meagre cost to the tax payers of £60,000

  13. 13
    I'm Voting UKIP says:

    Absolute disgrace. Dont these self serving parasites have any dignity or morals.

  14. 14
    Anon says:

    More playground insults today from David “calm down dear” Cameron.

    Not very statesmanlike, is he ?

    Just a yah-boo Bullingdonite.

    • 21
      FFS says:

      Yeah, but the fact that he goaded you Labour activists into coming here to make that remark is priceless. You must have steam coming out of your ears!

      Anyway, its gone past 5:30pm, you and your activist buddies have usually knocked off by now and left the playground to us. Go on, run along, you’re on your own time.

      • 74
        Fuck the left says:

        They’ll be going to a champagne reception with the likes of Owen Jones where they’ll talk about how they’re the only champions for the poor, before returning to their comfortable pads in middle class areas with no chavs or council estates in sight.

    • 89
      M­aq­boul says:

      Good for Dave. That fat twat Balls deserves all he gets.

  15. 15
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Cameron has rejected £22m EU funds for food banks,because he’s a bloody idiot.

    • 16
      nell says:

      Why do we need food banks when we have the most generous benefit system in europe?

      • 22
        Roma says:

        It take time for first Giro to come through. We ask EU to give food bank to help bridge gap.

        See you in couple weeks.

      • 30
        P l e b says:

        Yeah we’re still waiting for Smith to take the £55 a week challenge

        • 108
          JOSE MANUEL BARRARSEHOLE says:

          We on the other hand are taking the £55,000,000 a day challenge and we still find ourselves a bit strapped , that’s why Dave has agreed to up it to £60,000,000 a day in the new year Happy EU Christmas

          And long live the Union

      • 34
        There's a scam in everything says:

        Of course they are not allowed to distribute out of date tins or even undated home-made jams, chutneys etc. The organisers are “allowed” to take them home for their own use. ….. Cloud / Silver lining.

        • 188
          Tek kno krat says:

          Just like the cvnts at the airports who confiscate unopened bottles of jam, honey, etc etc because they are a few mgs/mls over their arbitrary weight/size limits. The customs are particularly good at this as as approaches. Why buy stuff, especially of the alcoholic variety, when you can get it for free from hapless travellers?

  16. 17
    Ed Mullahband says:

    Where is my Eid card?

  17. 19
    A voter says:

    Cameron has a real nerve claiming that the economy is improving when pay is frozen, the cost of living is rocketing, and the only jobs people are able to get are part time, low paid, and many of them on zero hours contracts. It is a scandal that those on zero hours contracts are not counted in the unemployment figures, it is unemployment in all but name. The economy is not flatlining, it is nosediving, for all except the rich members of Cameron’s inner circle

    • 23
      FFS says:

      Wow you Labour activists are working overtime tonight.

      Go on run along now. You and I both know nobody here is interested in what you have to say.

      • 32
        Yet another voter. says:

        You are. You replied. Haha.

        • 44
          Ed Ball's SPAD says:

          You can knock off now mate, its already 6pm, and frankly you’re not achieving much.

          Come to my office tomorrow a.m. we need to re-think how we deploy you.

    • 37
      Ken Dyingstone says:

      Repeat after me…
      Tax cuts for millionaires…. Tax cuts for millionaires….

      Just a bit of a problem for you Labour Luvvies that the amount the top 1% contribute to the “community” has gone up since rates went from 50% to 45%

      So isn’t that what you want, the rich paying more?

    • 77
      Fuck the left says:

      You say that with a straight face, given Labour had a lower tax rate for the super rich for 13 years, raised pensions by 75p and gave a knighthood to Fred Goodwin? I understand the instinct to be tribalist, but you just look insane when you imply Labour were saviours of the poor. Poverty and the gap between rich and poor expanded to unprecedented levels under the last Labour government.

      • 82
        M­aq­boul says:

        The “Poor” are the Labour’s vote fodder.

        • 134
          NE Frontiersman says:

          ..and frequently tenants, too. Labour’s principal Muslim councillor in Waltham Forest rents out about 150 houses to his ‘community’. His was the ward that had a 125% turnout in 2010.

      • 94
        Sir Roger de Senseless says:

        Ahh, Sir Fred Goodwin, now there’s a bloke who lived up to his name!

    • 153
      Ippikin says:

      Bollocks!

  18. 20
    I Now Pronounce You Husband and Husband says:

    Oooooh. Press my prostate with your throbbing purple helmet!

  19. 24
    Labour are pathetic says:

    Labour a bunch of pathetic arseholes! They are not even funny, just communist creeps!

  20. 26
    Another voter says:

    I thought that there was a designated person who’s job it is to keep order and prevent behaviour and name calling such as that Cameron is so keen to indulge in. They obviously do not earn their wage.
    In theory a government minister and in particular a prime minister, should have a good understanding of the English language and be beyond name calling and bullying behaviour of the type a badly bought up child might exhibit.
    But it appears that Cameron is the exception.
    It would be nice to see someone who knows how to behave in parliament, instead of a lot of loud mouthed performing and demented monkeys, of which Cameron is currently the leader of the pack.

    • 28
      FFS says:

      “it appears that Cameron is the exception.”

      Oh yeah, I remember the times when Maggie was PM. Labour were models of polite, reasoned debate.

      Not.

      • 36
        P l e b says:

        Berkow lets Cameron get away with murder.

        • 40
          FFS says:

          Oh I wish. Ideally in the style of “Expendables 2″ with heads cut off and blood blasting out everywhere.

          Sadly it’s just a fantasy for now.

        • 41
          Podiceps says:

          When there is need of a statement that is the flat opposite of the truth, you can always rely on our dear P l e b to deliver it.

    • 38
      JACK DROMEY of the FUDGE PACKERS and SHUNTERS trades man entrance Union says:

      Yes they also employ a parliamentary standards commissioner ,
      who also does FUCK ALL

    • 48
      gracie fields says:

      you really do not understand the tone of this blog

      • 97
        JACK DROMEY of the FUDGE PACKERS and SHUNTERS trades man entrance Union says:

        I most certainly do , ive been around here a long time

        The clue is actually in the name of the blog

    • 162
      David Cameron says:

      “…Cameron is currently the leader of the pack.”
      “The Leader of the Pack”? You’ve “rumbled” me, as it were!
      I always wanted to be like the chap on the bike here, with Amy and the Winehouses:

  21. 27
    EXECRABLE ED BALLS says:

    YOU CAN TRUSS ME WITH THE BRITISH ECONOMY.

    • 58
      Gooey Blob says:

      I see two turkeys in that picture. Both will survive Christmas, only to end up getting stuffed in 2015.

    • 132
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Isn’t that what Rupe has thought for decades about the mongrels he has duped into being shareholders (the idiots who have no fucking say beyond the corporate diktat of the corporate higher class shareholders who partially control his Sky Fairy shit.)? And do excuse me but Sky – giving air time to Jackie Smith – oh fucking please.

      Ephram piece in DM – Noted.

      Piece in current PEye also Noted.

      • 176
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        +1 for being on the money about the falseness of neo-liberal policies regarding share ownership. You own nothing except paper.

        Ironically, even though this is meant to fool the proletariat into thinking that they own the means – or part of at least – of production (socialist wank frenzy in 5, 4, 3, 2, …) it doesn’t. Unless of course you own an awful lot of shares and happen to get on with most of the board.

        It does work against the workers though when companies put dividends before profit and pay rises – particularly pay rises – as a means of reducing their costs. The lion share of the profits do go inequitably to the largest share holders, despite what the mongs at the bottom are led to believe.

        Again – +1 for bringing this up.

        • 193
          Sky red thinking says:

          Agree about fatty Smiff. Bloody cheek Sky presenting this criminal woman to us on a weekly basis – and no doubt paying her oodles of cash too. Likewise that Jowell woman. They should both be in jail, not pontificating their bollox on the telly.

          There must be several other women sitting around doing not much who are just as, or more than, capable of taking the places of these two free-loading criminals.

          Plus HTF does McGuire also get to run off (loudly) at the mouth on the same programme. Anna Botting has not the faintest idea of how to run this segment – or control the sofa-sitters. Utterly useless and not even a competitor in the tottywatch stakes.

          Whoever it is behind the scenes at the station who chose these clowns for our ‘edutainment’ needs to be exposed and sacked on the spot for showing such appalling judgement.

          • John Bellingham says:

            Surely Sky’s leftish leanings and choice of political reporters gives the lie to the Labour opposition to further Newscorp control–or maybe it’s all a ploy so that we can get Fox-UK.

          • bergen says:

            I simply turn the TV off when Jackboot Jackie reviews the papers. Why they employ her is beyond me.

    • 177
      Casual Observer 5 says:

      Is it Turkey, or last chicken in the shop for Butcher Boy Balls ?

  22. 29
    FFS says:

    Go on Labour activist, give me another comment to dissect.

    You need the overtime and I need the entertainment.

  23. 33
    Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

    The Yewtree cops wont be calling on Jones they will be callin g on taxpayers as we no doubt have paid for the card.

  24. 35
    JACK DROMEY of the FUDGE PACKERS and SHUNTERS trades man entrance Union says:

    This year for Christmas i would like to receive a big black shiny “Bobby’s Helmet”

    • 232
      M­aq­boul says:

      What he’ll get is a big bonus from Labour for having deflected all that shit which was raining down on to the Co-Op scandal. There was nothing accidental in all his gaffes.

  25. 42
    HARRIET HALFMAN says:

    Aren’t you supposed to put the carrot in it’s mouth Jack ?

  26. 47
    The British media are cunts says:

    Only the BBC can make a large drop in unemployment sound like bad news.

  27. 50
    I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

    ‘People across the UK have yet to feel the benefits of economic growth’.

    Really..?

    I just got a 7% pay rise.

    • 65
      Socialist Workers Party, Home to R*pist Comrade Delta says:

      That 7% belongs to us, Comrade.

      And 100% of your original salary.

      • 98
        MIKE OXHARD says:

        Well done , i on the other hand have paid NO tax for last year and i’ve just been given a £2300 tax rebate as my company is doing absolutely fucking shite in this great recovery

  28. 51
    Troll Watch says:

    Well it’s 6pm and it looks like the Labour activists have finished trolling for the day.

    • 54
      P l e b says:

      Exactly where does it say you have to be a rightie to post on here?

      • 67
        Troll Watch says:

        It doesn’t. It’s just amusing that its so obvious that Labour are paying people to put comments up on this site.

      • 69
        Fuck the left says:

        I didn’t know you had to be a leftie to go on Twitter, but I got a barrage of abuse from lefties today just for saying I think Ian Watkins should never be released. The left don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to calling others nasty.

    • 218
      Golly says:

      They have all gone to Guido’s Christmas party.

  29. 52
    P l e b says:

    62% increase in homelessness in London in the last three years. Wonder why?

    • 60
      I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

      Because of immigration, you fucking moron. Do you really think the extra homeless are British….?

      Syrians, Romanians etc….

      What a twat you are…!

      • 102
        P l e b says:

        Well the ones interviewed on the TV sounded very British to me.

        • 104
          I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

          They’re not going to interview any homeless that can’t speak English, are they..?

          Are we in Syria, Romania or Poland..?

          Fuck me, you’re one thick cum shovelling dog r*pist…!

          Fuck off..!

        • 105
          This is why there's a housing shortage says:

          And BBC Look East tonight showed Ed Balls handing over the keys for a new Council House in Ipswich … to a couple of muzzie immigrants.

          And Ballsup was pleased with himself.

          You really couldn’t make it up.

          • HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

            It is called rubbing our noses in diversity

          • John Bellingham says:

            Why has no one picked up on the habit of Labour controlled London wards dumping their younger, long-term benefit claimants on coastal towns with conservative and liberal Westminster MPs? Hastings and Margate are notable examples.

          • bergen says:

            They’re dumping them everywhere where property is still relatively cheap into “social housing”. The public in general haven’t cottoned onto this yet.

    • 87
      M­aq­boul says:

      Breedin like flies they are.. the omeless.

  30. 57
    Slyman Huge, Senior Cockroach says:

    Can I just clarify ?

    I am NOT now a Minister, I’m a Mincer.

    • 71
      the intimate whisper says:

      picalilly is @ thy fosters, below the hahaock.
      slide if you like. the lady is kermitlyfirm.

      • 78
        Google Translate says:

        Sorry, Still working on it.

        Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

      • 140
        I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

        If you’re trying to be like Carcoat Damphands you are failing……………………………………………..miserably.

        Tit.

  31. 61
    Tosser Dave says:

    Bumsex in the rain dear?

  32. 62
    Ghost of Comedy Past says:

    Santa is just like a BBC presenter. They both leave a kid’s bedroom with an empty sack.

  33. 68
    RomaBob... says:

    Anyone know if Nelson Mandela is still dead? No reports on the BBC today !!

    • 85
      Sunderland is a Labour ghetto thats why its shyte says:

      He will be rising shortly then the Ascension we will have to change the Gregorian Calender

    • 91
      Bent Broadcasting SA Branch says:

      Too busy ‘spearing’ mini zulu warriors at the moment. Will be back in a couple of days with a lifetime of tributes to St Mandingo and his necklace factory fan club.

      Signing available from Thamsanqa Jantjie Translation and Throat Cutting Services. Schizos a speciality.

    • 119
      Haile Selassie says:

      He’s up here with me and neither of us are coming back. Have you seen the state of Africa?

    • 165
      Stompie MacKenzie says:

      Never mind him, what about bitch with the tyres, is she dead yet?

      • 231
        Jack Ketch says:

        The chief witness to the disappearance of Stompie and his pals is STILL in jail in Zambia, although no one knows the charges against him. Stompie is still dead.
        Meanwhile three people to whom Winnie owed serious money that had nothing to do with politics, one person who unfortunately lived four doors away from another of her creditors and drove the same model and colour of car, plus Hazel Crane who laundered Winnie’s cash–are all dead from mulitiple lead poisoning. When Winnie goes, the death rate may fall.

    • 201
      Dayan says:

      When is the BBC going to dig me up so that I can have an everlasting funeral ?
      They do it for everyone else like me – why have I been passed over ?

  34. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Lostprophets fan?

  35. 76
    Communist creep! says:

    Typical immature twats that make up labour!

  36. 80
    Mandela Bolshevik Broadcasting Company says:

    We are urgently digging up any facts we can with our on the spot team
    of 150 reporters in S.A asap…….

  37. 83
    RomaBob... says:

    Bugger Dromey………. where is the missus?

  38. 86
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-25436157

    Looks as if Villiers had a very good lunch after all – odd that it took a question at PMQs to sort this out today. Are the two random events linked in some way?

  39. 88
    Communist Creep says:

    Get orf me land! Get orff me land. You bunch of commee Hunts! Get orrff me land or I will shoot you- Labour arseholes!

  40. 90
    Cymro oddi ar y llinell says:

    I give in. Is it Mad Al Campbell and his bagpipes?

  41. 92
    Communist Creep says:

    So Lenin Miliband is threatening land owners with use it or lose it policy. Ballox Economics!

    http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decree_on_Land

  42. 93
    Sir Roger de Senseless says:

    I suppose that’s what they’re planning to do to us after they’ve won the next erection, er … election.

  43. 95
    Michael Green on Grunt Shitts says:

    talking about arses, i want to say, before i go out, that ALL tories are venal, despicable, arrogant, lying, cheating fucking bastards

  44. 96
    A Summer's Midnight Dream says:

    Rabbit Santa caught in headlights

    • 101
      P l e b says:

      Is that the rampant rabbit Guido’s advertising on here?

      • 106
        I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

        You’re an 11 out of 10 on the fuckwit scale, AKA the Milliband ranking.

        • 109
          retardEd Miliband says:

          My rating ith better than ‘ten’. My rating ith ‘eleven’.

          That’th higher, and that ith better.

  45. 99
    Creeping Communism says:

    http://www.barnsdle.demon.co.uk/russ/land.html

    Time to get rid of the two Red ‘Eds. A pair of communist creeps. Now we know for sure Len is pulling their strings!

    Get orrrff me land!

  46. 100
    • 112
      FFS says:

      The guy that writes that blog is a complete dick. He really is. He seems to have some kind of mental health problem – some kind of journalistic meglomania where he believes he is the center of secret and special knowledge.

      The fact that crew members of USS Ronald Reagan was exposed to radiation is well known. There is no conspiracy or cover-up involved. You can read all about it on Wikipedia.

  47. 103

    Jimmy Sovile playing Santa. Whoops sorry Rudolpho darlin’!

  48. 110
    BELLEND A MESSENGER says:

    The weather is particularly bad up here , but i hope it’s nowhere near as bad as it is in London
    With a bit of luck a few of those fucking thieving Roma will freeze to death in the parks of the Crapitol and the remainder will fuck off back home and tell their friends and family

    but on the other hand if you give your money to any homeless charities this Christmas , they will feed and house them and the rest will follow

  49. 111
    Syrian Hell says:

    Dithering, unprincipled, partisan,weak, coward that is Ed Miliband has condemded the poor Syrians to an existence that replicates Hell! What a shame! :(

    http://www.standard.co.uk/comment/david-miliband-as-the-first-snows-fall-syrias-refugees-are-on-a-road-to-hell-9007441.html

    • 113
      The British Public says:

      Syria is none of our business

      • 180
        Geopolitician says:

        Egypt
        Oman
        Saudi Arabia
        Jordan
        Iran
        Iraq
        Tunisia
        Morocco
        UAE ( Abu Dhabi, Ajman, Dubai, Fujairah, Ras al-Khaimah, Sharjah, Umm al-Quwain)

        These are the countries that should be concerned about Syria.

        It is not a European issue, let alone a British one.

    • 115
      whips r us says:

      Can’t understand why the British are doing a self flagellation over Syria, it’s nothing to do with us and what about all the other countries between Britain and Syria are they going through the same self flagellation or is it they couldn’t give a sh1t and get on with their own lives.

    • 116
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Remember how the labour MPs cheered and laughed when Cameron lost the vote. It wasn’t about the Syrian people for labour, it was just about defeating Cameron.
      Labour scum.

    • 120
      FFS says:

      You’re right. Best thing to do is help Assad to crush Al Qaeda so its all done by Christmas, thus saving the Christians and allowing the refugees to return home.

      Not what you want?

    • 121
      The British media are cunts says:

      Who gives a fuck about Syria? It looks like Assad is winning anyway and killing a lot of so called British muslim wankers in the process. Give the man a medal for that, more than the shit met police can manage.

    • 161
      NE Frontiersman says:

      The eastern Med is where the next energy rush is already taking place. An international charity largely headed by US foreign policy seniors can’t afford not to be there. Soft power may be much more effective, as well as economical, in influencing events there (which doesn’t mean that Mr M isn’t sincere in his concern for the hardships he is describing.)

      It is however quite bizarre that his brother’s party thought for some considerable time that going to war in this theatre was an issue on which they could credibly abstain.

  50. 114
    Alan Chingachgook two dogs shaggin says:

    No need for smut and innuendo

  51. 122
    That's the way lad keep knocking in those coffin nails says:

    BBC News

    I am going to carry on shouting on behalf of working people across the country”
    Ed Balls
    Shadow chancellor

    • 130
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Aren’t all people that work working class? Is there a salary level where Balls considers someone not to be working class?

      • 214
        Mark Porridge says:

        Any salary level which he enjoys is the cut-off point

      • 234
        Jack Ketch says:

        “Working Class” is nothing to do with income level. Bob Crow on GBP200,000 per year plus expenses and fiddles for an 18 hour week is working class, while a privately educated solicitor’s clerk on GBP 20,400 may be very middle class.
        Miss Mandy Rice Davis put it all in context when she had the opportunity to compare the Aristos, Oiks and pushy middle who partied at Cliveden in that fateful summer of 1963. She said “You can always tell a well-bred gentleman, wiv them it’s always tits first.”

  52. 123
    After mandellafest now ronniefest says:

    Gotta live the beeboids

    Ronni is Biggs snuffs it and they put on the film great train robbery

    • 178
      The Late Inspector Slipper of the Yard (before Plod became Labour's plaything) says:

      It makes a f#@king change from Mandela, but it does imply that somewhere inside the BBC, there is a b’stard that needs a good kicking.

  53. 124
    'Chillaxing' Dave says:

    Gay marriage was just the thin end of the wedge. There’s millions of vote in bestial marriage.

  54. 125
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

    IRREFUTABLE PROOF.

  55. 131
    Licker of Windows says:

    As a Labour MP his supporters are, a priori, mentally retarded. This card should appeal to them, as it’s the closest they’ve ever been to art.

  56. 133
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Is it just South Wales Police who have their own inhouse rogue element of bent and criminally corrupted officers who through fear and threats get away with it – with MP’s neutered into having to talk up the wonderful things that coppers do for society?

  57. 135
    Blowing Whistles says:

    McBride spoke of “WE” – the government of the day – fuck him and the desperate bastards in the establishment attempting to cover up that it is the establishments men – Gov & Opposition who are the front for so much criminality and theft from the British Public. Off with their goolies.

    • 179
      Not Blowing Whistles says:

      There isn’t much left to steal, sell, borrow + not return, or generally mis-appropriate from the country now. Have a real look out the window.

      Most of the finance is short term and non committed.

      The industrial base is no more.

      There is just the notion that all is good in the minds of the people – arguably the most important thing for the manipulators at the top to manage, but surprisingly delicate and easy to squash when there is nothing real supporting it.

      Let’s see what happens next year when Ch!na start putting their prices up, and !ndia follows suit. Can guarantee one thing: The US will not help out this time, and the EU are waiting to finish the UK off.

  58. 136
    Athelstan says:

    Cameron visits one tiny part of the country he has allowed to be invaded and still donen’t get it. There are two million illegial who need to be expelled from this country.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2525872/Brits-tolerant-migrants-not-ruled-breaking-says-Cameron-visits-filthy-beds-sheds-used-illegal-immigrants.html#comments

  59. 137
    Sunny Hundal says:

    Well, I just made a complete c:nt of !myself on Russia Today.

    Still, I got on telly.

  60. 139
    Fishy says:

    I see the BBC have gone into full ‘support Ed Balls’ mode, giving him a page of his own to respond to Cameron’s turkey jibe (he’s also had a prime time piano recital c/o BBC Radio 2 this week).

    He says he’s good at his job and will continue to heckle and make gestures and if that nasty big Bullingdon boy Cameron teases him again he will tell Yvette and she will sort him out when she gets Ed Milipede’s job.

  61. 142

    When I plunged my spoon into the Christmas Pudding, I used to find a threepenny bit wrapped in greaseproof paper.

    • 143
      Fishy says:

      A threepenny bit?

      Didn’t realise you were born within the sound of Bow Bells SC

      • 148
        lewd rolf the pie-arsed pigs ear says:

        Bell dingers cat?

      • 149

        Now, now!

        I was born in Elliot Terrace, overlooking Plymouth Hoe.

        Threepenny bits were also written down as thrupenny bits and often pronounced as threpenny bits.

        Although familiar with some rhyming slang, that particular example escaped my notice until after I had left school. Innocent days. Kids are now having sex at an age younger than I even knew about sex.

      • 154
        Podiceps says:

        Everyone called it a threepenny bit. Odd twelve-sided thing, dull goldish colour, looked much more valuable than it was.

        Once, around 1970, an American tourist asked me to tell him the way to a museum. I did, and he said, ‘That’s for you, son,’ and gave me a threepenny bit. ‘Oh no,’ I said, ‘I couldn’t possibly accept it.’ It was easy to say.

        The coin had a picture of a plant on the reverse. The plant was thrift. Banker’s joke.

    • 200
      Southerner says:

      I still have a pre-war silver 3d bit in my cupboard along with a complete set of 1962 coins (including a farthing). Not worth much these days though sadly.

    • 203
      Arthur Sixpence says:

      In the interests of Elf and Safe Tea, thrupenny bits are no longer in circulation. You should send any that you have to poor old Liam Byrne (currently playing Bob Scratchit in panto).

    • 225
      John Bellingham says:

      Silver Joeys, surely? The silver Joey thruppeny bit lasted until 1945 although it was already rare, but my old Grannie kept a small hoard and used them in Xmas puds until the mid-1960s. South Africa had the same tradition and my Ma-in-Law dutifully put non-decimal, non-republican, non-post apartheid Tickeys in the Xmas pud up until her death in the ‘oughties’, although she used Krugerands one year when Vorster died. If your Joeys were wrapped in greaseproof paper, you must have been awfully posh–even in Grand Houses, the upper classes don’t wrap their bits in greaseproof.

      • 230

        One of my earliest memories was an attempt to ride my tricycle down the stairs at Elliot Terrace – it was predictably disastrous. We were not posh but the other flat across the way from us housed Nancy, Lady Astor who was quite a character by all accounts. I don’t remember her TBH but she would have seen me from time to time.

        Maybe that insignificant fact sparked my political instincts?

  62. 146
    Is Dave Waking Up to the New Political Realities? says:

    Dave hopes in the Parliament Act
    To stop him finding we voters have sacked
    Him and his traitorous band of Tories
    Who’ve tired them with all their empty stories
    Of stopping the Roma from wrecking our lives
    By stealing our metal and living in dives

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/10526825/Cameron-prepares-nuclear-option-on-EU-referendum.html

  63. 147
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    HHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP !!!!

    • 152
      Lampshade says:

      And the LibDems still in fourth place. I find it amazing that one in ten prospective voters would consider voting for Clegg’s lot.

    • 160
      Numbers game says:

      Just Like the BBC who said about the new plastic money getting forced onto us, 87% o f the population say yes to it, strange how everybody Iv’e spoke to come under the 13% who must have said no, Con 34%, Lab 38% of what?

    • 173
      Casual Observer 5 says:

      Vote UKIP, and ignore the rest, mong.

  64. 157
    POLITICIANS making you work longer , so they don't have to says:

    That has to be Rich and Marks best drawing yet
    at least i can tell who it is

  65. 158
    Jimmy Sniffs Claire's what? The mind Boggles. says:
  66. 159
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

    BALLS looking droopy


  67. 166
    Santa Claus says:

    For Christmas would you like to kick Ed Balls or Ed’s balls?

  68. 167
    AllToriesAreCuntz says:

    so they debate food banks and the toriez claim they are a good thing, well managed and well run without ever asking what the fuck a rich country like britain has them in the first place – what a load of shite the tories are

    • 170
      milllllllllllyyyyyyyyyybaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddd says:

      If Britain was the richest country in the world without even one person without a trillion pounds in the bank, you would still be free to set up a free food bank.

      What the fuck is your point, you thick lefty retard?

      • 172
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        Food banks for the rich – like the sound of that.

        We already have them though, they are known as Wa!trose.

        • 190
          Mike P says:

          167 is wrong, UK is not a rich country. We have a huge national debt and deficit – equivalent to spending more than your salary every month, being in negative equity on your mortgage and borrowing further on the credit cards to meet your mortgage payments. And all because of Liebour/Blair/Brown who spent like fuck and saved nothing and regulated nothing. They are the the real Huntz. They did to us what Santa is doing to that reindeer.

          • M­aq­boul says:

            It is rich because we are able to service that debt.

          • Casual Observer 5 says:

            I think the issue of Wealth is best left with Adam Smith, and agree with you – the poster immediately above appears to work for Labour’s comedy economic spin department, soon to be closed down once Ed Balls is put out of business.

            On issue of debt and deficits – it is perhaps a case of liars poker at the national level.

            Our debt after all is someone elses wealth: The wealth they lent with the expectation of receiving ít back with interest.

            The trick I guess is to get material gain from Johnny Foreigner and fuck them with worthless paper and a binding contract in return, and a nuclear deterrent.

            The UK did not really get the material gain bit right under Labour, and are rapidly fucking up the deterrent bit which is putting the nation and its citizens at serious risk.

    • 202
      Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

      Britain obviously isn’t a rich country because it’s £1.2 trillion in debt (and that’s just the government’s debt), but as to why we’ve got food banks: some people can’t manage their household budget properly.

      Doesn’t matter how rich the country is, mongs will always fuck up their finances.

  69. 169
    Chuqqa says:

    Is that Diane Abbott between Santa and the Tree?

  70. 171
    Casual Observer 5 says:

    A couple of days looking at something in the real(ish) world, and the next thing to appear on this blog is confirmation that Labour are promoting Santa bumming Rudolph Christmas cards drawn by kids.

    Tip for those who over do it on the cash front at Christmas: The Daily Ma!l is a superior bedding for your discerning homeless.

  71. 185
    mrjohn says:

    “Labour MP Graham Jones with the most unfortunate Christmas card of the year. Looks like Santa’s next on the list for Operation Yewtree…”

    I think the next candidate for Operation Yewtree is the person who looks at a Christmas card drawn by a child and finds sexual connotations.

    • 186
      Podiceps says:

      Oh yes, gosh, let’s find everyone who Harbours Impure Thoughts and lock them up.

      What a sad self-righteous prune you are.

      • 204

        You may appreciate this one Pody.

        I have a delight in finding a combination of four or five world that Google has no find for, if you insist on that particular order, but which manages to make some sense and does not sound like a random utterance.

        So my contribution here is: one would have to admire the economic efficiency of Santa stuffing his reindeer, after he has delivered his presents and before eating it. One possession fulfilling multiple purposes.

        The four words “Santa stuffing his reindeer” (using the quote marks to ensure that order) did not attract a single find – well until I posted this.

      • 210
        Angus A Nuvvawando says:

        Are you sure you read that correctly ?

    • 257
      FFS says:

      where is it said that the picture was drawn by a child?

  72. 192
    Cunstubble Plod says:

    there are those who would lock up everyone who ever conceived of a crime without committing it – the Met – who film demonstrators on marches in London but get violent when they in turn are legally filmed…

    Anybody think they live in a free country?

    • 206
      albacore says:

      Do we live in a free country? Of course we do
      If you weren’t born here, then Parliament will let you
      Stroll in when you like and do whatever you will
      It’s only the British whose wishes count for nil

  73. 208
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    Tory cuts so far, 20,000 Army, 5,000 Navy, 5,000 RAF, our Armed Forces have now been hollowed out, to a very dangerous level.

    Vote Tory !

    Hear ! Hear !

    • 217
      Corporal Larkin says:

      You are talking utter crap.

      We have nuclear.

      If anyone wants to mess with us just nuke the bastards.

      No need to spend billions on traditional war methods and employ millions of people for no real purpose.

      Nuclear is clean efficient cost effective warfare which is good for world peace and good for the country.

      • 242
        David Cameron says:

        But without a conventional force we wouldn’t be able to promote our arse-fucking, bum-sex marriage culture!

    • 222
      albacore says:

      Dangerous for us, great for all the rest
      The E U won’t let Britain be a pest
      So Parliament, nationally crackers
      Obligingly snips off Britain’s knackers

    • 255
      HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

      This is all in preparation for the eventual disbandment of the UK armed forces as such and merging them with the EU.

  74. 220
    Corporal Larkin says:

    Breaking News

    Guy News Room: Future Syrian government must be Sharia-based

  75. 221
    Rob Roy says:

    So an independent Scotland would have less influence on the World stage because it would be paying less to the International aid budget.

    Yet another reason for voting “yes” .

  76. 224
    Sadam says:

    When is Guido going to post details of Chilcot’s Christmas Card ?

    • 245
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      It was sent to Hampshire Police and they lost it along with the Chilcot report :-)

    • 248
      Operation Mincemeat says:

      Ah yes…Chilcot..The Report that never was !!!! We ALL dreamt it

      • 249
        Forward with guidance says:

        As the taxpayer has been paying for Chilcot throughout perhaps taxpayers could now arrange a tax strike until the report is published.

  77. 229
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Good morning, people!

    Vote Tory !

    Hear ! Hear !

    • 236
      Prime Minister David Cameron says:

      Oh, I forgot to add I want dennis skinner as speaker, asd I said yesterday under one of my many phoney David Cameron monikers.

      Up the workers as we Islington lefties say, right up ‘em, if you know what I mean.

  78. 235
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    n other news, politicians want to ban words. Seriously disappointing behaviour from”Fatty” Pickles.

    : http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/councils-could-be-banned-from-using-bedroom-tax-phrase-in-move-to-veto-contentious-language-9013854.html

    • 241
      Dave wants Turkish immigrants too says:

      That has been happening on this very blog for years. Certain words have always been censored.

    • 260
      NE Frontiersman says:

      235: The Graun was in a fit about this day or two ago,with an article written, by strange coincidence, by Labour’s local government spokesman. You can find it on the Graun’s parallel-universe local government website, where the phrase ‘Local Government Heroes’ is constantly used without irony or projectile vomiting.

      Since Pickles does stuff-all with the powers he has, giving him a few semantic ones won’t change a thing. People in Waltham Forest tried to alert him to the fact that the Council was trying to justify destroying documents that proved their corruption by stashing them in a cellar full of asbestos ( to which they had been exposing their staff for years). The only response was snoring, then at last a suggestion that we approach the figures responsible for the corruption in the first place.
      He has powers to stop the council spending half a mill every year on its version of Pravda, while closing libraries on grounds of poverty, and does nothing.

      It’s increasingly clear that the main parties have a pact that they won’t disturb the rackets in one anothers’ local fiefdoms, since they all have too much to lose.

  79. 238
    Matt says:

    By far the best cartoon yet from Rich, almost lifelike.

  80. 239
    The Very Reverend Bulpit says:

    We’re looking forward to welcoming the boys & girls from The Guy News Room today. It’s their Carol Service :)

  81. 246
    Mrs May says:

    French prosecutor demands maximum death penalty for Oxford graduate who dressed as a Nazi on stag do organised by Tory MP.

    Mark Fournier is alleged to have dressed up as a SS officer at his stag do

    Tory MP Aidan Burley was said to have organised the fancy dress costume

    Mr Burley lost his job as parliamentary private secretary to Britain’s transport minister

    Fournier is being prosecuted for wearing the uniform of an organisation found guilty of crimes against humanity

    A verdict in the case is expected in January

    • 250
      You do not know who I am says:

      That will teach him to go on holiday abroad.

    • 253
      HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

      Would there have been prosecution had he been wearing the uniform of a Soviet Commissar? I think we all know the answer to that !

    • 261
      NE Frontiersman says:

      246: Is it therefore illegal to dress up as Napoleon in France?

  82. 254
    Rolf Harris says:

    But Rudolf has got a smile on his face, so it’s OK.

  83. 262
    Ed Balls Knees and Toes says:

    .


Seen Elsewhere

Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Labour’s Left and Right are Growing Restive | Staggers
Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
More Missing UKIP Money | Times
Church Should Fight Evil of Welfare Dependency | Stephen Glover
1 in 16 Pick Up Infections in Filthy NHS Hospitals | Mail
Let’s Get Evangelical | David Cameron


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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