December 17th, 2013

Hollibande Leaves France on Verge of Triple Dip Recession

A year seems a long time ago for Ed and Francois’ friendship. Back then Miliband could not have been more glowing about the man whose socialist policies he vowed to replicate in Britain:

“What President Hollande is seeking to do in France and what he is seeking to do in leading the debate in Europe is find that different way forward. We are in agreement in seeking that new way that needs to be found and I think can be found.”

So how that “different way forward” that Miliband endorsed getting on? In June Hollande declared that “what you need to understand is that the crisis in Europe is over.” That may be the case in Germany, but as the rest of the Eurozone recovers France is being left behind. This week Markit’s flash index reported manufacturing and services in France are at a seven-month low. Things are so bad that Renault, the 114-year-old French car company, has moved its factories to Spain. Crucially, this morning experts are now predicting a triple dip recession.

All the while Hollande has the lowest approval rating of any French president on record. This is who Miliband chose as the politician he wanted to emulate. Protesters on the streets, tax hikes causing an exodus of entrepreneurs, the economy run into the ground while rivals prosper. We have our warning of what Prime Minister Miliband would mean right across the Channel…

See also: Le Triple Dip for Hollibande, After Merkozy, Whatever Happened to Hollibande?


  1. 1
    we used to win the Ashes says:

    Vive Hollande. Vive le Fifth Republique! A bas le EU!

  2. 2
    Carney Easing says:

    You little rosbif shit, Francee is paradise on earth. Just 15 minutes and it is time for lunch.

  3. 3
    Eddie Moo says:

    Frankly I’m making it all up as I go along.

  4. 4
    English for Beginners says:

    “Ed and Francois’ friendship”


  5. 5
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Immigrants and Criminals says:

    That bastard Ed Multimillionaireband is attacking the stock market again. After he loses the next election can someone bump him off please he’s costing me money.

  6. 6
    TrueBlue says:

    Beware, the Marxist writing is on the wall and its worse than graffiti.

  7. 7
    Rob says:

    The French want and vote for socialism, but don’t seem to like it in reality. This happens over and over again. A very strange country.

  8. 8
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    It looks like France will be getting a visit from the IMF bailiffs before the UK :-)

  9. 9
    I hate socialists. says:

    France is a basket case and Miliband and Balls will do the same to our country
    if ever God forbid Labour get back in government.

  10. 10
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    If Labour play their cards right they will romp home with 500 seats on May 7th 2015.

    Who dares wins :-)

  11. 11
    So what? says:

  12. 12
    Mitch says:

    Why not move to Spain, for dirt cheap land, property and labour? Courtesy of another disaterous government.

  13. 13
    kecks is becks. says:

    4 elephants is a state of bliss.

  14. 14
    Just rearranging the Deck Chairs is No longer an Option says:

    BUT if Red Ed ever gets his hands on the wheel of power with his real
    Master Red Len calling the shots big time, the IMF bailiffs will soon be
    here dictating & controlling everything……..

    The shape of things to come……a utter fcuking nightmare

    Its now time for a complete real change……

    Not more of the same from the ConsLieLaborLebDims Satanic Alliance…..

  15. 15
    Fishy says:

    Vote UKIP get Hollibande…get more Europe…get on a plane and leave the country

  16. 16
    Prince Rupert says:

    This man is a nasty little crook isn’t he? Why dont people like this move on and go away

  17. 17
    Fishy says:

    You’ll never know…unless you get a TV in your cell

  18. 18
    JH239823590234098 says:

    Aw boo hoo, wouldn’t it be awful if the gay mafia didn’t get their way for once.

  19. 19
    FFS says:

    They have the same tweedle-dum tweedle-dee arrangement that we have, except theri choice is between very socialist and extremely socialist.

    They thought Sarkozy was going to be like Thatcher but turns out he lied and was just another soft socialist.

    Now they are mulling the idea of voting for somebody rather akin to Mussolini. But even the National Front is a different flavour of socialism with a bit of racism thrown in.

  20. 20
    Le Chef says:

    For perfect hollandaise try this recipe from Ed Miliband, head chef of the Unite Canteen.

    Melt 125g bitterness in a saucepan and skim any white people from surface. Keep the bitterness warm. Put 2 warring brothers, 1/2 tsp Harman’s vinegar or white hating vinegar, a pinch of Balls and a splash of ice-cold nastiness in a metal or glass bowl and gloss over any small policy failures. Whisk for a few minutes then put the bowl over a pan of barely simmering resentment and whisk continuously until even thick people can see through it , about 3-5 minutes.

    Remove from the heat and slowly whisk in the melted bitterness, bit by bit until it’s all incorporated and you have a perfect rancid hollandaise. (If it gets too thick, add a splash of Chukka.) Season with a squeeze of envy and a little lie or two about immigration. Throw away as soon as possible.

  21. 21
    Aesop says:

    It is in their nature.

  22. 22
    Ma­qb­­oul says:

    But as the deluded advocates of the failed socialist experiment insist on saying, “yes, but next time it will be different”!

    Plus ça change………

  23. 23
    FFS says:

    Trés Bien!

  24. 24
    The Village Idiot says:

    CMDD will take instructions from his mentor Bliar on this subject as usual
    So if there is money to be taken off of the table he will, while opening up
    a new front on the War on Terrorism in the CAR as his Master will tell
    him to & obedient CDMM will carry out without question or for the huge
    costs involved in British Soldiers Lives & Money just something else to
    add to the national debt & is of no real interest to him.

  25. 25
    What a Twat says:

    Thieving is illegal in Russia too Denis.

  26. 26

    I am the official nightmare in the Libor party.

  27. 27
    Ma­qb­­oul says:

    They have a large public sector and a heavily subsidised agricultural industry.. what else would they vote for: austerity, pay your own way, work harder ??!

  28. 28
    Los Richards says:

    Unfortunately the country is run by dickheads.

  29. 29
    anonus says:

    Yes, looking forward to better interest rates. Vive the rouges.

  30. 30
    Ma­qb­­oul says:

    Sochi is full of the most fabulous looking women you can imagine. No shit.

  31. 31
    FFS says:

    This is what I just can’t get my head around regarding socialists. It fails every time. Every fecking time. There are good logical economic reasons why socialism always ends in failure.

    I can understand people wanting to “stand up for the poor” but it must be clear by now that socialism isn’t the way to do it.

    I can understand people voting in favour for a party that claims to be standing up for the poor, if they are not smart enough to appreciate that socialism is what is on offer and it always fails, but I just can’t understand why apparently reasonably intelligent people still buy into the Marxist mythology.

    Anybody got any clue? Non-flippant answers preferred….

  32. 32
    Dave Cameron says:

    I bet he’s not as unpopular as me. I mean, I’m hated by NuLab supporters, but I’m hated even more by Tory supporters.

    13 years of NuLab and I couldn’t even beat Gordon Brown, how shit am I?

  33. 33
    anonus says:

    The world turns. Useless talking heads meet and wave fingers. La france has nothing to help the UK, why is London the 5th largest french populated city? Fuck off you pair of tossers.

  34. 34
    minime. says:

    he is costing me minnie.

  35. 35
    Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

    Maybe Hollande’s woes can be blamed on his association with Red Ed? Isn’t he the son of Brown and inherited the Jonah gene?

  36. 36
    Francois Hollande says:

    Votez Ukip.

  37. 37
    Dave wants Turkish immigrants too says:

    Vote socialist, get poverty.

  38. 38
    poison is in the blood. says:

    billi sponges.
    parasite leeches.
    immigrants are oo.
    criminals are d.

  39. 39
    Dave wants Turkish immigrants too says:

    Vote Dave get more socialism.

  40. 40
    FFS says:

    It matters not what Hollande does to his country. What matters is what the French do after Hollande…..

    As far as I can see there is little dissent in Hollande’s party – they are all behind him. They are loving the big dose of Marxism he is dishing out. But the French themselves are hating it.

    I can’t see the French ever voting for the socialists again. The problem is that for the French the only remaining choice is the soft-left and the National Front. There is no equivalent of the Tory party or even UKIP.

  41. 41
    turkish delight says:

    immigrants are a delight.
    immigrants are oo.
    o o o

  42. 42
    danny nolan says:

    who will steal your dirt-cheap land, making sure to bulldoze your new-build while they’re at it.

  43. 43
    Dave wants Turkish immigrants too says:

    Isn’t this what they give away in food banks?

  44. 44
    Dave Cameron says:

    There is no equivalent of the Tory party here either

  45. 45
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    May I wish the England cricket team the very best of luck in Australia in their quest to bring back The Ashes.

  46. 46
    BIG LIPS says:


  47. 47
    Enigma says:

    They’re all bat shit socialist even by continental standards. None of them want to pay for it though.

  48. 48
    Dave wants Turkish immigrants too says:

    It is an addiction like you get from drugs. Labourites go to the election booth (or use postal vote) and can’t help but put a cross against Labour even though they know it will all end in disaster.

  49. 49
    Gay Watch says:

    “””Airline sorry for ‘H8GAYS’ confirmation code”””……DT.

    The upset customer was completely distraught, poor soul. How empty can a human life be?

  50. 50
    Master Mindless says:

    Well, he won’t be in prison with mongrel criminal scum, so I guess he might be.

  51. 51
    British Benders Corporation/ Common Porpoise says:

    We will be exposing this code practice in our Panorama Special from the HIV heart of Africa in the new year.

  52. 52
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “Confiture demain” – as they don’t say in France.

  53. 53
    FFS says:

    I understand that 50% of the people that vote Labour are immigrants and don’t even know they are voting. I understand that the other 50% of people that vote Labour are in the bottom 15% of the IQ ratings.

    What I don’t understand is why reasonably intelligent people in the BBC, Guardian and the Labour Party itself continue to support this outdated Marxist bullcrap. Surely they have worked out by now that Marxist socialism = low productivity = increased poverty????

  54. 54
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

    The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.

  55. 55
    Mark Oaten (LibDem) says:

    Let them eat cack.

  56. 56
    Dave Cameron says:

    But I offer you cast iron guarantees…

  57. 57
    Labour first ruined the pensions sector and then the country says:

    People who weren’t alive in 1976 – 79 need to experience what it was like under Labour controlled by left wing unions and why Margaret Thatcher was elected 3 times(instead of believing all the left wing clap trap about her…if half of it was true why did she win a majory, something Dave couldn’t manage 3 times ?)If they are so stupid not to understand the outcome of a Miliband Government and look across to France then they deserve everything coming to them post 2015…the so called “squeezed middle” that Miliband harps on about are the very ones that will bear the brunt of Labour Government and if they are moaning now about the Coalition they ain’t seen nothing yet just wait until their mortgage rate goes up by 3%

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Edouard Millibande says ‘Let them eat cack’.

  59. 59
    Cousin Japser says:

    Does beggar belief when you think about it. Brown was a gift from heaven that Cameron and his team could not win outright really does show the quality of the man.

  60. 60
    JH239823590234098 says:

    Very simple.

    People don’t think any more. They want a quick and easy, soundbite solution.

    There are basically two types of people in the world; those who want to get their hands on other people’s money, and those who want to get to keep more of their own money as opposed to handing it to the first type.

    The type ones are always going to vote for socialism as it promises more ‘free’ shit for them in return for their vote. No thought required. These people range from the Karen Matthews of the world right up to the Ian Katzes.

    Even type two sometimes vote for socialism because it sounds nice and it means they don’t have to go to the effort of being charitable, the state does it for them.

    The problem is, the first type now make up about 35% of the electorate. Often they cannot be bothered to haul themselves to the polling booth but postal voting has sidestep solve this issue for Labour.

  61. 61
    Cousin Japser says:

    No Dave that is why a short but never to be repeated dose of Millibean (with full EU control) to get shot you and then him is the only very unpleasant and painful answer. UKIP would need to engage in full merger deal with a Dave free Conservative Party after such a defeat over 2015-16 and then pick up the pieces from Millibean in about 2017-18. Very unpleasant I know but we’ll be rid of the most corrupt generation of politicians this country has seen since 18th Century.

  62. 62
    Cousin Japser says:

    Time for Germany to do its usual thing by the sound of it?

  63. 63
    JH239823590234098 says:

    Agree that interest rates are key.

    Possibly the best thing that could happen is that Labour get back in, and interest rates to return to their historic average (6%ish) just afterwards.

    They would be fucked for a generation.

  64. 64
    Milibandwagon says:

    The prospect of a double-dip recession in France shows just how out of touch David Cameron is.

  65. 65
    Mr Dupont la la la la says:

    Zut Alors!

    Ah am zo zurprised zat voting for un socialist government ‘as, ‘ow yu say, worked out zo badly!

    Ah ‘av not been zis zurprised since ze inglish boy George zed he iz ze gay.

    Salut, mes petits poivres!

  66. 66
    Bonne Maman says:

    Ah oui!

  67. 67
    Old Geezer says:

    As was reported on the BBC at the time (with a completely straight face), the Tories need ten percent more votes than Labour, just to break even. This is not geremandering, this is normal – for the BBC.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    What’s French for Schadenfreude?

    Mad Franky Hollande is useless and we could all see that. Now even the most tribal Labour loon can see it’s all going Pierre Tong across the Channel.

  69. 69
    NotTheBbc says:
  70. 70
    Cousin Japser says:

    The reason ‘reasonably intelligent’ people vote for Labour is that it gives them a sense of power over the poor and over everyone else. It is why there is a significant part of the quasi professional class that vote for Labour. You only have to looks at the massive expansion of a ‘private’ sector of ‘consultants’, businesses analysts, PR, Marketing etc.. that essentially was funded by tax payers via New Labour’s vanity projects. The establishment of a continual benefit culture (tax credits have done more to make poverty wages acceptable than any Tory government could have dreamed of).
    Government to be effective needs to be small, light of touch but firm when needed. It needs to accept as its founding principle that it cannot and should not seek to run every aspect of an individuals life. Till we have that expect more of the same.

  71. 71
    anonus says:

    Not what you think. The watch / glass is broken. Actualle il est checking whether shirt cuffs could be taxed separately for those earning more than 2 euros per day.

  72. 72
    FFS says:

    “Very unpleasant I know but we’ll be rid of the most corrupt generation of politicians this country has seen since 18th Century.”

    I am not sure they are any more corrupt than any previous politicians, just that the ever-watchful eye of thousands of politically astute people and the internet is exposing the level and nature of the corruption.

  73. 73
    FFS says:

    Oooh Café Gormand anyone?

  74. 74
    FFS says:

    French people don’t have a choice. There is no democracy in France. It is a mirage and the French know it.

    All politicians in France are educated in one of two highly selective schools called the “Sciences Po”. The schools determine, in effect, who is allowed to become a French politician. And guess what, the schools decided only socialists are allowed to become a French politician.

    The French political elite do not believe in true democracy and never have. It is no surprise they have forced the EU to adopt a similar anti-democratic approach.

    Meanwhile the French themselves have had enough of high immigration, corrupt politicians and socialist taxation. The French body politic were able to buy off the people for decades with a healthy economy, but that is long gone.

  75. 75
    Arthur Dent says:

    Rather like B-arkers but malevolent as well as plain useless.

  76. 76
    Alex Dumas says:

    If you listen carefully to Hollande he has started speaking a lot faster in public.

    This usually occurs when someone is losing the plot.

    By the end of 2014 and further internal elections things will look a lot different for what is a right wing leaning Republic with 500,000 elected representatives looking after the interests of 65 million people.

  77. 77
    A Prawn Sandwich says:

    Mitterand was a devious evil bastard with the sexual morals of a tom cat.

    People criticize Mr “Flamby” (who has now put back on the weight he had lost) for being an unmarried father of four with a penchant for being attracted to bossy ambitious women .

    From rumors doing the grapevine the figure of four may have to be up graded along with the number of women.

  78. 78
    Bert camus says:

    Give the French Socialists credit were credit is due.

    When it comes to Christmas they are very good with the old Christmas lights.

    They are all over the place this year running on LED lighting which uses just a quarter of the electricity consumed by the previous generation of lights.

    Each bulb costs ten time the price of the last bulb so if they did not have Nuclear Power (so detested) they would really be in the dark .

  79. 79
    Psyche the Dog says:

    France is only 2 years behind the UK remember Gideon’s triple dip, so watch in 2 years time they will be in the position we are now

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    Edouard Millibande says ‘Apres moi les deluded.’

  81. 81
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Sarco was some sort of mixture half Hungarian wasn’t he, the French don’t seem to have much luck in selecting governing parties, bit like the UK really.

  82. 82
    Psyche the Dog says:

    Probably no twits about at present

  83. 83
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    Last time I looked Russia picked its own leaders and if they dont like woofters, fair enough.
    If Meesrs Fry, Jones, Mc Shane et al feel so strongly why don’t they take a break from BBC susidised living and nip over for a protest?
    No, didnt think so the cowardly woofter shi*es.

  84. 84
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    Yes but the apparatchiks all get major dollars and gold plated pensions so they dont really give a flying fu*k about anybody else.

  85. 85
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    When you are an apologist woofter completely empty.

  86. 86
    I shall say zees only once. says:


  87. 87
    I shall say zees only once. says:

    What? Occupy the Sudatenland?

  88. 88
    I shall say zees only once. says:

    F^ck Off! We should boycott you.

  89. 89
    I shall say zees only once. says:

    I like the cherry flavour.

  90. 90
    MILF fancier says:

    The main problem with France is that they don’t seem to have an entrepeneurial tradition ( yes I do understand the irony) in the way that Anglo Saxon countries do. Capitalism seems to be a dirty word over there and this is reflected in the fact that they only seem to have a choice of Socialist parties whether on the so-called Left or so-called Right.

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