December 16th, 2013

The Ides of May: Dave Tensions Simmer Over Again

It’s a frequent matter of discussion amongst his more grumpy MPs, but now speculation about a Dave-less post 2015 is boiling over. Here is Adam Boulton yesterday in the Sunday Times:

“Cameron is sure of 10 years as party leader and five as prime minister — perhaps that could be enough for him. Go out fighting on the economy, win or lose in 2015, and on to the next thing. Looking up from the mire of wages and expenses right now, there are few even of his own MPs who think they’d miss him. “

Today the prospect a T-May D-Day is flagged up again by a prominent backbencher to the Times:

“She’s very assiduously courting colleagues. She is holding surgeries in the tea room, listening to colleagues’ concerns. She’s my best hope for the future.”

Over Christmas party season, Guido has heard more than his fair share of Tory MPs ranting and raving about the prospect of another coalition. There are those that do not see Dave surviving anything but a majority win.


  1. 1
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    Doesn’t matter – VAN rampy is in charge

    • 11
      Pocket Calculator says:

      None of the current Parliamentary Cnservative Party is up to much. At the moment this feels like rumours of a plot to change the colour on the deckchairs

      • 24
        Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Immingrants and Criminals says:

        What is the alternative, another destructive session from the Labour scum who will really finish off the Country next time?

        • 39
          Keith Vaz says:

          She looks as though she’s regained her weight!

        • 66
          Bollox BC says:

          I love Labour so much that I’ll be voting Ukip. You see I’d much rather cut off my nose to spite my face thus ensuring Labour get in. Wouldn’t you rather have Milliband and Balls rather than Cammermong and Giddyup?

          • Four-eyed English Genius says:

            Spot the difference, you mean!

          • Anonymous says:

            I love my country so much that I’ll be voting UKIP.

            Some of us have principles, unlike you tory bum-sexers.

          • Liblabcon can f-off says:

            As if it makes any difference in the real world – you know that world outside of your petty party tribalism – which faction of the liblabcon rules over us.

            To the people in the streets you’re all anti British scum anyway.

      • 32
        brown-dog says:

        Indeed…voting for any of the LibLabCon parties and all you end up with is another libertarian deck-chair coloured either blue, red or yellow.

        Even UKIP advertise themselves as libertarian (i.e. right-wing), the only difference being that it will be coloured purple.

        And even if Labour get in and are more liberal with the bennies dole out. The money invariably ends up with the likes of Tescos and Sainburys and other big corporations. Think of it a “socialist” bung to the corporates. This is even before the bringing PFI contracts into the debate.

        Just more bread and circuses

    • 16
      Dave wants Turkish immigrants too says:

      If the state was a cruise ship, Dave would be in charge of the deckchairs.

    • 75
      Red Ed says:

      Another wankfest.

    • 90


  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    If T May is the answer, the Conservatives are stuffed.

    • 6
      Theresa May MP says:

      I would explain to you how rubbish your comment is, but today’s Tuesday and I go shoe shopping on Tuesdays.

      (And Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.)

    • 15
      Anonymous says:

      Because it hase the word T U R D within it?

    • 26
      Chris Bryant's Pyrex Dish says:

      It’s Monday, unfortunately.

    • 76
      Non taxable pikey says:

      I don’mt know about that. Here Modern Day Slavery law could turn the economy around.

    • 80
      That's another fine Eton mess you've got us into says:

      She look more than somewhat stuffed herself – all that lovely tax-payer funded scoff

  3. 3
    DtP says:

    He really is an arrogant cove who thinks all Tories are scumbags and he’s used all his authority to silence legitimate concerns. It’s a huge character failing and, well, if he goes, I don’t think the country would care too much either.

  4. 4
    Rubbish pun says:

    She’s a shoe-in.

  5. 5
    Vote UKIP says:

    “She’s my best hope for the future.””

    That’s one way of saying, “I’m completely fucked.”

  6. 7
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    The next general election will be won or lost over the cost of a pint of milk.

  7. 8
    Jingle bells says:

    2015, furniture van for Camoron, number 10 Downing St, furniture in storage, the bits to one of his houses.

  8. 9
    Ziggy says:

    If these politico twats spent as much time trying to run this country for the actual benefit and wellbeing of the population as they appear to spend in political infighting then the UK would be at the forefront of world domination instead of an international laughing stock!! I cannot think of any one that would make a competent leader nor would I trust the majority of elected MPs to manage a shagging session in a brothel without screwing it up!!!

  9. 12
  10. 14
    Greening says:

    Have I resigned yet?

  11. 20
    Dave let them wear extra jumpers says:

    Mrs May tells me 400 Roma are camped outside No10.

  12. 27
    Soothing Sayer says:

    2014. (1) Euro elections. (2) Scotch Referendum. Dave will open his mouth in public that will make everyone go “WTF? Did he really say that???”. After which, RIP Jellyfish.

    2015. Another matter.

  13. 33
    Fact says:

    How many immigrants came in last week / month / year?

    How many will do so in 2014?

    Neither this useless cow nor the utter tosser next to her have got any idea.


  14. 36
    Ivor Biggan says:

    She could release my tensions with a good simmer – ooohhh teresa

  15. 41
    Gordon Browns accountant says:


  16. 42
    Winston says:

    Politicos are in denial. Despite a concerted effort from the MSM, UKIP will top the EU polls in May. There are running at an average of 20% over the past year at both council and parliament by-elections. In 2015, they could get 15% of the vote, yet still have no MPs. 4.5m people will have voted for a party and got no representation. Whereas, Labour will get something like 9m votes and 300 MPs. Even the current bunch of liars and cheats could not justify such a failure of democracy.

    • 47
      Democracy says:

      In 2015, they could get 20% of the vote, yet still have no MPs.

      In any event, if they beat the LibDema into fourth place on the measure of the percentages of the popular vote and end up without any MPs, the country could be ungovernable.

      • 68
        Mr Cromwell says:

        Time to get the pitchforks sharpened and the tumbrils repainted?

      • 88
        cynic says:

        The governing class will carry on governing and troughing. The public will carry on grumbling. Nothing will really change. Our rulers won’t allow mere public disapproval to alter their policies and practices.

    • 48
      And I know says:

      I predict they’ll get thirty MPs

    • 49
      Limp dums says:

      This is why we don’t talk about PR any more.

    • 61
      danny nolan says:

      UKIP are a single-issue pressure group who suddenly realised that they had better come up with some off-the-shelf vaguely rightist policies so they could get their manifesto onto a second page.

      cf The Green Party, the SNP, Ulster Unionists et al.

      Although tee bee eff, at least single-issue is one more policy than the Limp Dums.

    • 71
      Electoral fraud says:

      IIRC 16% voted green in an election in the 80s or 90s and got fuck all.

  17. 44
    bartfartbastard says:

    What fun!

    She’s even got a sort of Gordon Brown face insofar as it resembles no-one else in the world.

  18. 45
    Grauniad latest says:

    Nickerless Clegg claiming May’s plans to put cap on immigrants illegal.

  19. 52
    Mr Slippery says:

    Things are getting a bit hot here in Blighty, so I’m off to Afghanistan to prove my loyalty to the troops I am sacking just shy of full pension entitlement, oh and I am taking Michael Owen in case the chaps want a kick around, and to prove that I am an alright fellow.

  20. 53
    Critic says:

    Is it the frock or is Ms May putting on a few pounds?

  21. 57
    Bercow for PM says:

    As for the Tory Porn Block, the idea of Tory Porn is quite disgusting.

  22. 59
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    There are reports David Cameron wants to cut taxes for millionaires. Again. Tell him not to:

    • 84
      Jim says:

      One should never incit racial hatred. It is such an easy and lazy option in Politics. As a Pensioner I have the right to pay the same taxes as my neighbour and poorly paid people should be treated equally rather than abused with special treatment as if they do not pay their way according to their means.

  23. 60
    The Guardian says:

    Nick Clegg attacks Theresa May’s ‘illegal’ plan for cap on EU immigrants
    Deputy PM says Home Office should focus on policies such as reinstating exit checks rather than leaking ‘undeliverable’ ideas

    • 69
      O. Cromwell Esq says:

      … and also the entry checks too. Much more strictness is required – and a leaf taken out of the Saudi playbook: 500,000 foreigners deported in a matter of days. Line ‘em up and ship ‘em out.

      Now THAT is the way to do it (as Mr Punch might say).

  24. 62
    M103 says:

    If the Roma are truly on their way here, they’ll be half-way across France now, in their vans / cars / donkey carts if that’s how they travel. They should be easy to spot.
    It’s not as if they’ll arrive by Eurostar or Ryanair, is it?

  25. 63
    Owen Jones says:

    Come 2014 the Roma will be the vanguard of the Communist revolution in this country.

  26. 64
    Penfold says:

    Even a dead parrot would be a better option than “Call me Dave”.

  27. 70
    Tracey Worthless says:

    About time we had another lady in charge. Wish it was me but think I will lose my seat and second home and expenses paid for by plebs in 2015.

  28. 73
    Kim Joung-un says:

    Say uncle!

  29. 74
    Kim Joung-un says:

    Dave is lower than a dog, so I won’t be eating him.

  30. 81
    Slot the bastard says:

    Tessa was impressed with the new camouflage kit for her L115A3 rifle.

  31. 82
    lojolondon says:

    LOTS of UKIPers are ex-Labour, won’t be seen dead voting for the Tories, but find that Liebour stands up for the unemployed, disabled asylum seekers, not British workers.

    Anyone who does their calculations based on associating UKIP success purely with disaffected Tories is going to miss the boat -

  32. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Allegedly Nigel Mills MP has withdrawn his planned amendment to the Immigration Bill, intended to extend the ban on Romanians and Bulgarians entering the UK.

    Wonder who leaned on him…?

Seen Elsewhere

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Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun
City Minister’s Inheritance Tax Dodging Trusts | Indy
What I Would Have Done if I was Sarah Wollaston | Iain Dale
Boris is an Epic Europhile | Louise Mensch
Warsi Got PM to Confront “Secular Fundamentalism” | Fraser Nelson
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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