December 16th, 2013

Mission Accomplished: The Bush Line Dave Should Have Used

It was an obvious question, but one with no correct answer for the PM. Asked if it was “mission accomplished” for returning troops by The Sun, Dave couldn’t very well say no, yet might come to regret his bluntness:

“Yes, I think they do. I think they can come home with their heads held high.”

Quite what the completed mission in Afghanistan looks like, we do not know. Dave should have taken a page out of George W Bush’s 2003 Mission Accomplished speech, which banner aside, gave far more wriggle room:

“The war on terror is not over, yet it is not endless. We do not know the day of final victory, but we have seen the turning of the tide. No act of the terrorists will change our purpose, or weaken our resolve, or alter their fate. Their cause is lost. Free nations will press on to victory.”

Let’s pray that the line does not come back to haunt the PM.


  1. 1
    Wubya quoting the truth says:

    “The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th.”

  2. 2
    perdix says:

    The question was obviously asked as a trap.

  3. 3
    RomaBob... says:

    A sweaty sock labour defence minister said there would not be a shot fired in anger at the Brits.

  4. 4
    So What was the Mission supposed to be? says:

    So what was the mission in Afghanistan? Because I ain’t got a fucking clue and so far every politician I’ve heard hasn’t got a fucking clue what it was either.

  5. 5
    Meanwhile Chuka is firmly on the rails says:

  6. 6
    Tony Bliar says:

    “So what was the mission in Afghanistan”

    Think white outfits, chain mail, shields with crucifixes on.

    Oh and to make some serious wedge.

  7. 7
    Guy News Room says:

    Fire Brigades Union: firefighters in England and Wales will stage strikes on Christmas Eve, New Year’s Eve and 3rd January over pensions row.

    All in the Guy News Room pledge 100% support to this action.

  8. 8
    Guy News Broom says:

    Sweeping proper news under the MSM/Politico narrative.

  9. 9
    British Citizen says:

    You seem to think it is unreasonable to ask the PM if a mission has been finished or not. Why? Why shouldn’t the PPM be asked amd answer such an obvious questions, especially given that our Australian allies are leaving.

  10. 10
    Malcolm Rifkind says:

    Dave says and does what the Israel firsters tell him to say and do…and don’t you forget it!

  11. 11
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    We can announce agreement has been reached with Prime Minister David Cameron for the termination of his services. The decision was by mutual consent.

  12. 12
    Mitch says:

    Indeed. And with no clear mission objective how can it be judged a success or failure? In fact, against any criteria, it has been a total disaster. Some “terrorists” have been killed, but many more have taken their place, and are simply waiting for their day (which will come). The heroin harvest is bigger than ever. Some token concessions have been made for a small number of females but it will make no difference overall.

    Complete and utter failure. And British lives have been needlessly wasted to achieve it.

  13. 13
    Mitch says:

    Ah yes, our old friend “Dr” John Reid There was a book out many years ago called “A million bullets” because that was the actual number fired. Still, John did alright afterwards, so who cares?

  14. 14
    albacore says:

    Well, ain’t that really big of patriotic Dave?
    It’s a pity that Parliament’s not quite as brave
    In the face of overwhelming, horrific odds
    Like all those invincible E U silly sods?

  15. 15
    Blowing Whistles says:

    ‘Our Purpose’ – Eh … seems as if most governmentrs have this common / our purpose embedded in their rhetoric and jargon which they speak these days. Lying f-wit, fork-tongued politicians.

  16. 16
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Al Gore produced a book called Our Purpose – what a shill dupe he is?

  17. 17
    Blowing Whistles says:

    When are all the porkie pie telling MP’s across the board going to admit that they have been caught with their trousers down around their ankles – selling the public global Bull/shit?

  18. 18
    Everyone in Westminster says:

    Never apologize, never explain.

  19. 19
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    Never, and why would they, we swallow their sh*t hook line and sinker and keep voting the same greedy self satisfied t**ts into office.
    “Nobody” wanted war, we still got it.
    “Nobody” wants EU membership, we will always have it.
    “Nobody” wants global concensus and shill profiteering but its not going away.
    A pox on all their houses.

  20. 20
    EU Centric D Cameron Esq. says:

    I heard that 6 Brazilian soldiers have been killed or injured in Afghanistan.

    How many zero’s are in a Brazilian?

  21. 21
    Mrs Boggins says:

    Well I do think Mr Bush was so much more trustworthy than our own prime minister, who seems to have too much respect for foreigners. Americans aren’t really foreigners are they? They certainly found my soft spot during the war.

  22. 22
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Blair signed up to the International Criminal Court and ought to be indicted there. Bush didn’t sign up so technically gets away with it.

  23. 23
    We shall be in Helmand for 6 months and exit without a shot fired !! says:

    Total and utter bollocks……..the Karzai Regime won’t last 12 months after ISAF pull out and for all the blood and treasure expended we have achieved…..NOTHING

    Which of the following reasons given for going into Afghanistan do YOU believe have been achieved ???

    To reduce the Heroin Trade(first reason given for going in)Schooling for Girls(second reason)Bring Democracy to country(3rd Reason)Make the streets of UK safer(fourth reason)Fighting Al- Q and TalebanFifth reason)

  24. 24
    We have 45 Minutes to save the World but is it worth the bother ?? says:

    About as much chance of that as the Chilcot Report ever being published

  25. 25
    Jim says:

    It’s a funny old world isn’t it, I was in the WW1 museum in Ypres over the weekend and there read that we shot 300 for cowardice in that war. A hundred years later and we give them 10 years in clink for killing the enemy!

  26. 26
    Mullah Umar says:

    The heroin crop’s looking good this year. Cheers Dave!

  27. 27
    The Dead Squaddies says:

    We can’t come home — we’re fucking dead thanks to Bliar & Camercnut.

    What personal risk did those two bastards take? None of course, the cowardly t(u)rds.

  28. 28
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    I believe we were told at the time that it would be a limited 6 month police action to control the poppy crop in Helmand and that we would exit in triumph without a shot fired. When that went “tits up” we were told it was to make our streets safer………..!!!!!

  29. 29
    Penfold says:

    Accomplished? What?

    Poppy growth at record levels.
    Taliban still active.
    Murders continuing.
    Corruption rife.
    Tribalism rampant.

    Afghanistan can be held up as an exemplar of Western intervention.

    What a load of ballocks from “Call me Dave”.

  30. 30
    TrueBlue says:

    Dave’ll fight to the last man standing.
    When sitting in his bomb proof car.

  31. 31

    Time to break open the Champers !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    some long awaited really good news, resulting in

    FTSE 100 UP 79 points

    Dow Jones UP 122 points

  32. 32
    We have 45 Minutes to save the World but is it worth the bother ?? says:

    Left to Dave we would have been at war in Syria…the only good thing about Iraq and Afghanistan is that a British PM will never be able to tell Parliament and the British Public shite about waging war is in our national interest and expect to be believed when the facts argue otherwise least one good thing that Blair achieved in his decade at Downing Street of waging more wars in 10 years than any other Prime Minister of modern times

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Has he been quietly coaching the England cricket team.

  34. 34
    Plagued by fatty fat cunts on Crap4 and repeated on Bore4 says:

    Well? If Bush had not taken his eye off the ball in af-gh-ani to go gunning for innocent Irakis, we would not have suffered to be stuck in a quagmire! Hoorah! At long last there is light at the end of the tunnel!

  35. 35
    Monica says:

    If the Afghan govt, in coming to terms with the taliban, want to roll back the all-women shortlists, lesbian marriage, lineswomen in the Afghan Premier League and extended Women’s Hour slot on Afghan Radio 4, will we have to go to war with them again?

  36. 36
    John Bellingham says:

    Hmm! the Taliban had all but eliminated the heroin trade, but now Afghanistan is the world’s largest producer and shipper.
    There were more girls in school under Najibulla (the pre Soviet invasion leader) than there are now.
    There is about as much democracy in Afghanistan as there is in a safe Labour seat constituency party.
    We now have tens of thousands of non-house trained Afghans*, Kurds, Iraqis, Syrians and other general riff-raff with an aversion to bacon sandwiches and a desire to kill Christian White people on our streets.
    Mission accomplished?

    I just found out-an inhabitant of the country is an Afghani. An Afghan is a rather stylish dog.

  37. 37
    The time is nigh says:

    I say that man is ready for leadership. If he can get gates at Streatham station, he is the man for world stage issues.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Elections in 2014+ 2015

    Our homeland famed for hope and glory
    Will not be saved by voting Tory
    For Cameron has a different view
    He’ll sell us all to the EU

    And soon you’ll hear from the Libdem
    Vote for us, were not like them
    But I would say ignore them please
    Remember the tuition fees

    And what about the Labour lot
    Who’s secret immigration plot
    Has worked exactly as designed
    When they the Lisbon Treaty signed

    Your dreams alas will turn to dust
    If in these parties you put trust
    Now is the time to get a grip
    Get rid of this lot VOTE UKIP

  39. 39
    Put your mobile in it says:

    I wonder if Rebeccah had a crack like that Perth wicket

  40. 40
    Tony B. Liar and connections says:

    Yes, but of the hundreds of thousands killed and injured, one girl who was shot because of our lies was given “free” medical treatment by the NHS which was an inspirational and heart-warming story.

  41. 41
    Team Amerika says:

    David Cameron to be played by Matt Damon

  42. 42
    Lady Lord says:

    I’m very much in favour of them being able to retire at 35 on inflation proofed final salary pensions.
    Even earlier if they have a bad back.

    They wear themselves out with all those cash-in-hand part time jobs they do.

    Poor dears.

  43. 43
    Tony B£air says:

    My war – my opinion

    why did no one ask me?

  44. 44
    Lady Lord says:

    He should have been given a medal.
    Lions led by donkeys

  45. 45
    Tony B£air says:

    The mission was to take out Al Qaeda.

  46. 46

    Who gives a flying fuck how many girls are in school in that third world pisshole?

  47. 47
    Lord Admiral West says:

    He certainly didn’t announce ‘Mission Accomplished’ on the deck of a Royal Navy Aircraft Carrier because we haven’t got any.

  48. 48
    jg6y5 says:

    Eeer, what was the actual Mission (apart from enabling Israeli pipelines) ?

  49. 49
    Joe Public II says:

    HMS White Elephant will be finished any decade soon, helped by the fantastically successful overspend by the cnuts at the MoD. H.M.S. Albatross will follow, and be immediately mothballed without ever having been in service.

    Meanwhile some home grown mozzie nutter will toddle into the London Tube system and release a few choice bacteria or viruses.

  50. 50
    Non taxable pikey says:

    David Cameron has said the UK’s mission in Afghanistan is ‘accomplished’.

    We’re leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can’t read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.

    Yes, we’ve brought the British way of life to them all right.

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Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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