December 13th, 2013

Friday Caption Contest (No Direction Edition)


  1. 1
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    “Oops I did it again”

    • 48
      The new Messiah says:

      And the next record is ‘Rocking around the Magic Money Tree’.

    • 62
      Owen Jones's Mum says:

      Mungo, “Mary” and Midge

    • 110
      i don't need no doctor's doctor says:

      Owen attends his first arm folding session.

    • 125
      Psyche the Dog says:

      We are not with him, what a noise!

    • 130
      Dave Bumsex says:

      If you have been stupid to work for as long as possible and pay your taxes and N.I. and also be stupid enough to put a little money aside each month for your old age, you really are a Pratt, because if there comes a time when you need help from the state,due to ill health they will say no, you cant work but you have some money in the bank, it doesn’t matter that you have paid in for decades you get nothing.
      A good analogy would be winning the lottery going to the office to collect the money and find that they have looked at your finances and say you have got enough money so we aren’t going to pay out.
      It seems that paying in counts for nothing, but if you are a scumbag with multiple kids from multiple , unknown fathers you are fawned upon and provided with all your needs (alcohol, fags etc.) .
      It’s a great system no wonder the country is on its backside.

  2. 2
    vile labour ruined my wife says:

    ‘Won’t it be funny when UKIP hand the election to ME! TO ME!’

    • 45
      The new Messiah says:

      Owen: And a big thank you to David Cameron for fighting to get 75 million Turkish Muslims the right to live in the UK – and vote Labour.

  3. 3
    David says:

    “and did those feet”

  4. 4
    C.O.Jones says:

    O Grady says “fold your arms”.

  5. 5
    Steve Miliband says:

    Owen Jones has 2 new signers

  6. 6
    Sniper says:

    Larry, Moe and Curly: The Reunion.

  7. 7
    Swear in Gordon's Crack says:

    The Jackson 5 reunion for Christmas didn’t go as planned…

  8. 8
    And somewhere in lego landDisabled yuff says:

    and if we loose we will build a big wall to keep are people in

  9. 9
    mm says:

    didn’t she watch 12 years as a slave

  10. 10
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    BBC hire new fake news interpreter.

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    I’m caught between a rock and a hard place…

  12. 12
    Liar.Politicians says:

    What’s the sign language for twat?

  13. 13
    Boom boom says:

    Clown to the left of me, joker to the right, here I am…..

  14. 14
    The O'Jays says:

    “Thank you, thank you! This next one goes out to David Miliband– a great song, all about his brother Ed:

    ‘They’re smilin’ in your face,
    All the time they wanna take your place,
    The Back Stabbers’!”

  15. 15

    White, uptight and outasight.

    That’s Pearl.

  16. 16
    Blankety blank Xmas says:

    ‘I’m dreaming of a ….errr…..errr……

  17. 17
    St Ing says:

    Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I’ll be watching you.

  18. 18
    Gaye Mann (Mrs) says:

    “Not mentioning any names, but if only more people were as honest as Tom Daley and come out as homosexualists…”

  19. 19
    RomaBob... says:

    The three wise…?

    No, not men!

  20. 20
    Anon says:

    I preferred Stella Creasy before she did her hair

  21. 21
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    “Ladees, Gentlemen, Crossdressers, Transexuals, Gays, Lesbians, Downtrodden Moslems, Victims of the vile bedroom tax and all others suffering under the jackboot opression of the ruthless nasty coalition I give you Chukka & Sadiq, your future in their hands”

  22. 22
    y says:

    “‘Despicable scum’: North Korea executes leader’s ‘traitor’ uncle”

    surely this DT headline should refer to the toryboy scum in Britain?

  23. 23
    Fbi says:

    Bring on the fake signer from S A he can show you how to E Milliband to control the labour party and Ed Balls

  24. 25

    Three British captives plead with Kim Jong-un for their lives.

  25. 26
    Oh Win says:

    Pink can’t be here in person, so I’ll take the lead in her song ‘Let’s Get the Party Started’.
    Take it away guys.

  26. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Boring! When’s it my turn to speak?

  27. 28
    tpfkar says:

    The choice of Ed Balls to do the signing at Owen’s next gig didn’t go down well with the other auditionees

  28. 30
    Antipo-dean says:

    What do you mean “that’s not Owen Jones”? You realize I could be eating in the members’ dining room right now?

  29. 31
    sussex carol says:

    If we ignore him he’ll go away.

  30. 32
    Rev I M Jolly says:

    Any more requests? ‘(Sing If You’re) Glad To Be Gay’? No, sorry we don’t know that one!!!

  31. 33
    Darth Pooh says:

    Where’s Dave Dee and Mick..?

  32. 34
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    I’d just like to announce before you all leave I would like to inform you all that I have had a “Tom Daley” moment” and intend to come out as gay”.
    “What do you mean you already knew, is it that obvious”

  33. 36
    ADB says:

    ‘Give it up for ‘Ain’t no (debt) mountain high enough’…Its Chuka Khan!’

  34. 37
    Anon says:

    Owen’s idea for a slave auction goes down well

  35. 38
    wordpress blogger says:

    Don’t you want me baby…? Don’t you want me….ALWAYS

  36. 39
    Socialists are worthless retarded subhuman filth says:

    “Come the revolution, comrades, the filthy rich will swing from lamposts! Death to those who wear Savile Row suits that cost thousands of pounds! Death to all of them, comrades!”

  37. 40
    Noxofan says:

    nya ning, nya nya ning, ning ning ning, nya, ning ning… etc.

  38. 41
    Santiago says:

    And afterwards, Jack’s going to pick the Pikey of the Year.

  39. 42
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    Nobody told me Morris Minor and the Majors were reforming!

  40. 43
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Young trainee youth social worker Owen Jones (aged 16 and a half) says: “Oh, surely one of you two know the words to Kumbaya?”

  41. 44
    Master Owen Jones says:

    “So Madiba, Jesus Christ and Mo hammed walk into a pub and Madiba says…”

  42. 46

    Body Language: Room 101

  43. 47
    Winder Lickow says:

    Guido, this is a flaccid photo. Couldn’t you get something more interesting?

  44. 49
    Anonymous says:

    And now, singing “Ain’t Nobody”, its Chukka Khan!

  45. 50
    Roundell says:

    Guido’s 3 main sources of leaks meet to plan phase 2 of their “take over the world” strategy

  46. 51
    Mister Smeeth says:

    Its the muppet show with our special guest stars

    Chuk and Sadi


  47. 52

    Ugandan discussions interrupted by interloper.

  48. 53
    WelshRacer says:

    Owen Jones with his speech signer.

  49. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Who is this white interloper – they think they own the place.

  50. 55
    bergen says:

    At the special request of Jack Dromey, we now present….

  51. 56
    Eborgleve says:

    Who is this white interloper – they think they own the place.

  52. 57

    Chuka Khan sings What Cha’ Gonna Do For Me?

  53. 58
    WelshRacer says:

    Owen Jones there having trouble with his speech signer……..

  54. 59
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    But Kim, I did clap, really really loud.

  55. 61
    Genghiz says:

    “Don’t look now mate but your signer is spouting bollocks”

  56. 63
    Robert says:

    Labour prepare their team for the rap battle debates at the next election.

  57. 65
    Zzz-Factor says:

    Jones: …and the most annoying politician who’ll be coming back next week is…

  58. 66
    Bill Quango MPxl says:

    “Yo! Yo! Everybody in da house say “the spare room subsidy is a tax on the least advantaged in society!” One time! “

  59. 67
    SBS says:

    And the hand signs say Wankers one and all.

  60. 68
    The General says:

    ” The name’s Jones and I will shortly be talking you through the next 5 years of a Labour Government.”

  61. 69
    Nemesis says:

    Men at the front – women at the back.

  62. 71
    Archie says:

    Oh no. I’ve only just eaten.

  63. 72
    The Critic says:

    Owen’s idea of putting Das Kapital to music pisses off his backing dancers.

  64. 73
    Anonymous says:

    Someone pinches Owen’s drum kit

  65. 74
    Facepalm Pete says:

    Jones: …and now – surprise surprise – let’s welcome on to the stage terrorist Babar Ahmad..!

  66. 75
    Soweto Times says:

    Fake dancers exposed.

  67. 76
    Cynic says:

    “As I share this platform with right wingers ………………”

  68. 77
    Cynic says:

    Spot the person whop hasn’t supported a terrorist competition is hijacked

  69. 78
    Cynic says:

    ” Well ….we certainly didnt bring him “

  70. 79
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    Who you looking at?

  71. 80
    HPDL says:

    See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

  72. 81
    Harri says:

    The boy in the middle is just so hideously white

  73. 82
    The Great British Public says:

    The Xmas charity auction featuring a ‘slave for the day’ didn’t go down to well with Chicks…

  74. 83
    The Great British Public says:

    The Xmas charity auction featuring a ‘slave for the day’ didn’t go down to well with Chukka…

  75. 84
    What I mean't to say.... says:

    The Xmas charity auction featuring a ‘slave for the day’ didn’t go down too well with Chicks

  76. 86
    keith says:

    Is there a Babar Ahmad in the house

  77. 87
    magna says:

    Well ‘ard.

  78. 89
    Clovis Marcus says:

    Owen’s relay signers develop RSI from signing ‘blather’ for 2 hours non stop.

  79. 90
    Bye bye Jonathan says:

    And we’re pleased to announce the demise of the weirdly unfummy Jonathan Woss. To call him a tw@ is unfair to tw@s as Harriet’s hubby would agree.

  80. 92
    Who's not singing now says:

    They told us we were backing Levi Stubbs…we get here and it’s Justin bleedin Bieber.

  81. 93
    1984 says:

    Chuka Kahn, Chuka Kahn, I feel for you…

  82. 94
    Gaylord says:

    Q: What makes Sadiq and Chuka a pair of balls?

    A: The prick in the middle!

  83. 97
    PitPony says:

    If the person who made that very amusing Nelson Mandela joke will make himself known, he will be personally congratulated by my two associates

  84. 98
    I'm Voting UKIP says:

    A new Christmas DVD

    Home Alone blended with Dumb, Dumb and Dumber

  85. 99
    Too Far says:

    Same old jumper.. same old speech….same idiot

  86. 100
    Braindead says:

    The body language says it all. Hobbit overkill.

  87. 102
    Anonymous says:

    Gerry and the Pisstakers

  88. 103
    Peter Grimes says:

    ‘(We’ll do it )’My Way’ or it’s the PRNK firecracker routine for you!

  89. 104
    gramma says:

    UnGodley and Creamed.

    “They make me wanna cry…y…y…y…y………”

  90. 105
    Captain George Mainwaring says:

    Pikey windbag now bookies new favourite for most annoying Labour gob 2013. Spiv and Obama’s nephew also up there.

  91. 107
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Hear Evil, Speak Evil, See Evil.

  92. 108
    The Self Righteous Brothers says:

    Unchained Melancholy

  93. 111
    Special thanks to Ukip says:

    Future leaders of Ralph Miliband’s Britain.

  94. 112

    And the winner of the British Obama Competition is… Adam Afriyie!

  95. 113
    Chucker says:

    I only recognise Owen from behind

  96. 114
  97. 118

    I want to wish you all a Merry Syphilis and a Happy Gonorrhoea!

  98. 119
    DAVE , Caring for Rich people since 2010 says:

    Free ,ee Abu Qutada ! freeee Abu Qutada !
    Abu Qutada he a peaceful man ………………….

  99. 120
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    Free ,ee Abu Qutada ! freeee Abu Qutada !
    Abu Qutada he a peaceful man ………………….

  100. 121
    Rightallalong says:

    Labour’s version of the Two Ronnies/John Cleese sketch :

    “I’m working class and I look up to him.”

  101. 123
    Rightallalong says:


    “I’m working class and I look down on these two toffs”

  102. 124
    I heard that, Pardon? says:


  103. 127
    MIKE OXHARD says:

    “I know he’s a moron” , Gordon is a moron , Gordon is a moron

  104. 128
    ALI CE KOOPOR says:

    I’m your top prime cut of meat, I’m your choice,
    I wanna be elected,
    I’m your yankee doodle dandy in a gold Rolls Royce,
    I wanna be elected,
    Kids want a saviour, don’t need a fake,
    I wanna be elected,
    We’re all gonna rock to the rules that I make,
    I wanna be elected, elected, elected.

    I never lied to you, I’ve always been cool,
    I wanna be elected,
    I gotta get the vote, and I told you ’bout school,
    I wanna be elected, elected, elected,
    Hallelujah, I wanna be selected,
    Everyone in the United States of America.

    We’re gonna win this one, take the country by storm,
    We’re gonna be elected,
    You and me together, young and strong,
    We’re gonna be elected, elected, elected,
    Respected, selected, call collected,
    I wanna be elected, elected.

    “And if I am elected
    I promise the formation of a new party
    A third party, the Wild Party!
    I know we have problems,
    We got problems right here in Central City,
    We have problems on the North, South, East and West,
    New York City, Saint Louis, Philadelphia, Los Angeles,
    Detroit, Chicago,
    Everybody has problems,
    And personally, I don’t care.”

  105. 129
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Daft Punks.

  106. 131
    sally bercow says:

    I can genuinely imagine these 3 in a daisy chain sucking each other’s cocks

  107. 133
    Squeaker says:

    Close finish in “South Banks Biggest Tosser” Competition 2013

  108. 135
    Yes we Ken says:

    Well, it’s certainly not ‘One Direction’ cos Kahn, Umunna and the rest of the opposition have ‘no direction’ !

Seen Elsewhere

Inside an Islamist Takeover Plot School | Newsnight
Ed Heads to Scotland | Sun
Assad’s New Chemical Weapon Attacks | National Review
Jason Groves New Mail Deputy Pol Ed | MediaGuido
Cocaine Conservatives | Standard
Jezza Browne Responds to LibDem Haters | LibDem Voice
Why Britain Needs to Leave the EU | Douglas Carswell
Who Tells Ed When He’s Wrong? | Speccie
Hands Off Our Cojones, Mr Clegg | Laura Perrins
London Live Averaging Just 2,400 Viewers | Forbes
Ed’s Constitutional Failure | ConHome

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Dan Hodges on Team Miliband:

“‘Poisonous’, was the picture painted by one former senior advisor. ‘Dysfunctional,’ said one shadow cabinet member. ‘A bunch of medieval courtiers, not an office,’ said another. The most positive description I could get was ‘It’s a work in progress. They’re learning. Slowly. But they are learning.’”

Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?

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