December 12th, 2013

‘Nigella Fan’ Cam Slam

Dave is in trouble over his interview in this week’s Speccie. The defence in the Saatchi PAs’ trial has tried to halt the whole case, making a submission to the judge which cannot be reported in full but is based on the PM declaring himself to be on #TeamNigella. The judge says:

“The reason for the delay this morning is because I have been looking through a large number of press reports. They centre on comments that the Prime Minister has made about a prosecution witness, Ms Lawson.

It is always of regret when a person in public office comments on a person involved in a trial trial when it is in progress.

I am sorry that so much court time has been taken up on this subject. I am sorry that almost a whole morning has been wasted. The defence feel aggrieved and they have reason to feel aggrieved.”

No, Prime Minister.

UPDATE:


133 Comments

  1. 1
    David Cameron says:

    Doh!

    • 5
      • 34

        Has anyone said that Mark Thompson is a lying сunt recently?

        Just asking.

        • 50
          Helen Boaden says:

          errr…me!

          Now can I have a pay rise please?

          • Call me Dave says:

            I’m behind the fat bird!

          • THIS REALLY WILL BE THE POLITICAL BALLSUP OF THIS DECADE IF A TRIAL HAS TO BE STOPPED AND A MISTRIAL DECLARED AND GREAT PUBLIC EXPENSE SQUANDERED ALL BECAUSE THE PRIME MINISTER OF A FIRST WORLD COUNTRY WAS INACAPABLE OF KEEPING HIS VERBAL COCK INSIDE HIS FIGURATIVE FLIES .

            EVER HEARD OF SUB FUCKING JUDICE DAVE ??

          • Jim says:

            As always in this Country the Media have no Responsibility for their actions. (As the Guardian have shown)
            Why he gave a straight answer to a question is completely unexpected. He is supposed to be a Politician.

        • 58
          Lord Stansted says:

          If he is the one who got rid of “Sailing By” then he’s a c**t.

          • Did you not get the memo? says:

            It’s even worse than that.

            As well as being a prize c**t Thompson is also, as is Patten the protector, a senior Communist Purpose rodent.

          • Ex Italian Premier bunga bunga party giver says:

            Please stay awake as Sailing By still assaults our ears on BBC radio 4 and World.
            Can I state that I support the Bunga Bunga girls.
            Will this affect their trial?

          • Anonymous says:

            “Sailing by” is stil on you moron ! FFS get your facts right before you try to kick our Chris !

          • Anonymous says:

            I’m convinced I don’t sleep as well now there is no ‘sailing by’. sad yes but there it is.

    • 7
      Bill Quango MP/7 says:

      Dave should now just say -I am on team Saatchi! And it all balances out and the judge can stop being an ass.

      • 44

        Does your moniker imply that you are to be cut into seven pieces like the Chinese Square Puzzle?

        • 78
          FFS says:

          He’s a Horcrux. You need to delete all 7 before you can get rid of Bill Quango from your PC.

          • HORCRUX

            The offspring of a ginger(no soul) and a normal human being(full soul), resulting in only having only a partial soul, a horcrux.
            Q: Did you know Tyrone and that ginger got married?

            A: Yeah, they even have their own little horcrux now, he’s so cute.

      • 107
        Anonymous says:

        How anybody can be a Barrister i really dont know ! this one has been scraping around the whole trial for ways of blaming everybody but the accused ! What a way of earning a living !

      • 133
        PDubya says:

        I think that what Dave should say to the Judge is “I like watching Cookery progs especially Ms Lawson’s, she is a witness not the accused FFS and admiring a person’s culinary skills should in no way effect the outcome of a totally unrelated matter in a court of law.

    • 13
      Cocaine Dave says:

      That’s no Doh!

      Dave has the best advisors money can buy. He’s doing his old boss a favour when his daughter is in trouble.

      • 64

        As anyone who has read my article would realise, I was taking a bit of a chance asking the PM the question. I then decided to take an even bigger chance by publishing his answer while the trial was still ongoing.

        Happily, I will get away with my irresponsibility because everyone is going to line up to throw brickbats at the PM instead of me. Happy Days!

  2. 2
    nellnewman says:

    The UK’s most useless PM ever, even surpassing John Major.

    • 3
      sussex carol aka nell says:

      I think that’s a bit of an overstatement – you have to allow that gordon was far more useless than any other PM before or since

      • 17
        The new Messiah says:

        Yes Dave hasn’t been responsible for a 7% recession – at least not yet.

        Nor has he taken us into two crusades like Blair did – at least not yet.

        • 32
          Libya was none of our business says:

          Libya?

          • Did you not get the memo? says:

            Cameron also wanted us to go to war on behalf of the Jihadi army in Syria. A country where 25% of the population are non-muslim.

            Can anyone imagine the carnage that would follow, if Al Qaeda were to prevail there?

      • 82
        Just Saying says:

        I think that there is at least 3 nellnewmans’
        Right, left, and plain daft.

    • 4
      Yoda says:

      No..There was another.

    • 35
      Aunt Hilda says:

      wake up nellie … after gordon … save us you’re talking nonsense

    • 118
      Somewhat offpissed. says:

      In spades, but only because Kinnock never made it. Mind you, Kinnock’s offspring has managed that by association which may be why Dave obviously felt free to see if he could slip his tongue into the Nordic Tottie’s right ear as she was being distracted by the interesting intentions of Ogabe’s hands. (And the Wookie’s face was a joy to behold.)

      Halcyon days!

    • 122

      SIR JOHN MAJOR -BALLSUP SAYS

      STOP DECRYING MY VIRGINAL MAIDS CYCLING TO EVENSONG ON A SUNDAY EVENING AND LEAVE ME TO MY WARM BEER BEHIND THE PAVILION

    • 125
      Richard says:

      Well, he’s useless right enough, but roughly equal to Blair I would say. Highly subjective, of course, perhaps he is worse; but in that case Gawd save us! So call me old-fashioned, but I’m the kind of guy who would like to work, vote and pay taxes in a country the P.M. of which knew that they spoke Portuguese in Brazil! I’m just fussy, I suppose – expectations too high and all that. Never mind though, my generation will soon be dead and the Blairs, Camerons (and, no doubt, worse) can get on with buggering the country unencumbered and unembarrassed by old fogeys telling them what useless, semi-literate, uninformed and stupid little prats they all are. Now that really will be a happy day. Look forward with relish y’all.

  3. 6
    Round the Bend says:

    The speecie is the one in contempt of court, it did not have to print it.

  4. 7

    OK. Dave was unwise to say it but surely the Speccie, as publisher, is responsible.

  5. 9
    Newsfox says:

    Oh come on v – juries aren’tthat daft…are they?

    • 15
      fuckwits4jurors says:

      What do you mean…some of them can’t even read!

    • 16
      Quick answer: yes. says:

      A trial collapsed about 6-12 months ago after the jury started asking the judge questions such as “can we consider evidence that hasn’t been mentioned in court” and “can we consider things that have no factual basis”.

      Pretty scary, but an inevitable consequence of the comprehensive education system.

      • 54

        At Stephen Young’s original trial, some jurors at the original trial used a Ouija board in an attempt to communicate with the deceased. He had to be retried.

        I even heard that someone was trying to get hold of Ed balls that way after last week’s events.

      • 80
        A BEd says:

        You say that as if public schools were any different even though they take teachers from the same backgrounds and teach the same curriculum to the same exams

      • 98
        M'Learned Friend says:

        The system worked perfectly well until Mr Bliar said that barristers could sit on juries …

  6. 11
    Sniper says:

    Well it’s not as if it is a “proper trial” really. Proper trials have people like Andy ‘n’ Rebekah in them and Dave certainly do’n’t like talkin’ about that one.

  7. 14
    constituency trainbound says:

    most of the country is on nigella’s team … saatchi not nice

  8. 18
    Anonymous says:

    “Royal Bank of Scotland has been fined $100m (£61m, 73m euros) by US regulators for violating US sanctions against Iran, Sudan, Burma, and Cuba.” – BBC

    Time to kick this bank’s doors in and drag out the corrupt scum who work there.

    • 22
      America does not own this planet says:

      Unless it was an American branch of RBS, if an English-owned Scottish bank wants to trade with Cuba, I don’t see what that’s got to do with Uncle Sam.

    • 25
      Asslick Almond says:

      We’ll take if off your hands for a few bawbees, ya ken.

    • 28
      Try to see the bigger picture says:

      They were all at it, including the US banks. This is just another case of the US authorities skimming from UK companies (ala BP when in fact it was US company Haliburtons faulty design of blow-out valve that caused the oil slicks)

      The Yanks play dirty.

      • 75
        Fuck up, pay up and shut up? says:

        This posting does not make clear by whom they have been fined – nor whether they will agree to pay, or refer the demanders to the Arkell v Pressdram case.

      • 87
        Obama for World Leader. says:

        We play dirty especially under me and my administration.
        Where else am I to get $20 trillion to help pay off our debts? I am already squeezing the pips on America, so now is the turn of foreign companies and to hell with our economy.

      • 116
        Mine d'Boggles says:

        About time that Halliburton got a mention. Well done.

  9. 20
    Lord Lawson says:

    I should have thought a man in his position would have exercised a bit of discretion. Not that by any means am I displeased with the content of his opinion, mind you. But he should have chosen his words more “judiciously,” if you will. To govern is to choose.

    • 26
      Dimmy Dave's Roma apocalypse says:

      Are you kidding? Dave doesn’t govern. Just look at what’s happened to our country – look at what’s about to happen to it.

      Powerless little Dave can’t do anything about it.

      He’s just a little penpusher. Powerless, weak, pathetic.

      • 29
        4Ps4U says:

        Penpusher, Powerless, Pathetic i.e. Puppet

      • 49
        sussex carol says:

        ‘look at what’s about to happen to it’ ??

        Do tell – obviously you have the power of foresight

        • 77
          Did you not get the memo? says:

          Oh I get it, let’s play pretend.

          The tide from eastern Europe never happened and the coming tide of Romanian, Bulgarian and Moldovan ( who the Romanian government helpfully, sold millions of passports to ) will never happen.

          Ok for you now?

      • 111
        Anonymous says:

        Are you saying we should be more like Russia ?you would have something to whinge about then !

    • 27
      raoul castro says:

      to rule is to dictate

  10. 31
  11. 37
    DAVE IMMATURE SCHOOL BOY CAMERAMONG says:

    People are forgetting , She is not on trial

    • 97
      On the beach,sunglasses in the car says:

      But she should be for possession of illegal drugs.

      PS those Italian twins are really gruesome.

      • 100
        DAVE IMMATURE SCHOOL BOY CAMERAMONG says:

        “PS those Italian twins are really gruesome.”
        You’d have to be off your face on drugs to hop in the sack with those two

    • 99
      Kiss My Big Hairy Swingers says:

      Exactly! I am amazed that it’s somehow inappropriate to make a supportive comment about someone who is a witness. She is not a defendant.

    • 112
      Anonymous says:

      Neither is her ex husband,but they have both been dragged in by the defence.

  12. 42
    DAVE IMMATURE SCHOOL BOY CAMERAMONG says:

    I’m so sorry what ,
    I’m powderless to do anything

  13. 48
    Monica says:

    Did Butch really say “#TeamNigella”.
    Using the phrase “Team Nigella” is mindless enough, but “Hashtag Team Nigellla”?!

    • 56
      Arse fuck for freedom says:

      Maybe he said he wanted to double team Nigella?

      Nah…it’s just not possible he could have suggested that.

  14. 51
    Take Note Dave says:
  15. 52
    Man with a Mac says:

    Who could but not comment about Nigella’s cup cakes?

  16. 59
    DAVE IMMATURE SCHOOL BOY CAMERAMONG says:

    “I particularly like a good nibble on Nigella’s Baps , after they have had a light dusting “

  17. 60
    Bravo for Nigella's Dad says:

    It’s #teamNigel that Dave should be on. And get him re-instated on the BBC along with David Bellamy and Johnny Ball, to air their dissenting views that the global warming science is not settled.

    • 81
      BBC Spokesperson says:

      I’m terribly sorry, we don’t allow dissent. What do you think this is, a free country?

  18. 61
    Ooops, there is now says:

    Standards are slipping.
    No mention of Mandela in this thread!

  19. 62
    domino says:

    Given the contempt most people have for anything coming out of the mouth of Cast Iron, the defence should be doing cartwheels.

  20. 86
    FFS says:

    So a prime minister supported by just 25% of the adult population happened to say “I quite like Nigella’s TV programs” and this was considered a reasonable excuse to stop a trial that has been running for weeks?????

    Really, this is just another excuse for our totally corrupt criminal “justice” system to make a meal of a simple trial. It should be like this: one day for the prosecution to make its case, two days for the defence to challenge, one day for the jury to come to a decision and the judge to pass sentence. Maximum cost for any trial not to exceed £5000.

  21. 90
    Ballox economics says:

    Bullshit! Nigella to win!

  22. 91
    Weygand says:

    There has always been a fairly close link between Nelson’s column and Westminster.

  23. 93
    Justice Johnson says:

    Taxi for Mr Cameron.

    I will hear the contempt application against him at 4 .30 PM.

  24. 94
    Is this ok? says:

    #TeamRebekah

  25. 95
    A Tranmere Rover says:

    What I cannot understand is why that Nigella Lawson sort has not had her collar felt yet.

    She admitted snorting on oath in a public court of law.

    The good old Sun on Sunday winds a couple of footballers up uses a hidden camera having not cautioned the players at all and within hours they are in police cells being questioned under arrest.

    Very strange do you not think.

  26. 96
    A pint of Bitter Shandy says:

    This is not the first stupid comment we have had off the Prime Minister and I am not naive enough to think it will be the last.

    What really worries me is what he actually gets up to when representing our interests in private.

    It worries me particularly so when he is fleecing over 50% of everything you make when you add up everything from income tax to petrol duty.

    • 132
      cynic says:

      He is not representing ‘our’ interests. ‘We’ are not that important. We just pay for it all.

  27. 101
    NIGELLA's Former ASSistant says:

    “There was evidence of drug use all over the kitchen , the pastry board was always covered in white powder “

  28. 102
    DAVE just finished haing a selfie CUMER ON says:

    Has Nigella been nominated for the “golden Globes ” this year , i’m sure she’d be up there

  29. 103
    newsnighted says:

    is Dave on team Rebekha ka ka ?

  30. 104
    HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

    The judge in this case obviously thinks that the public who sit on juries, are so bloody stupid that they can be influenced by an off the cuff remark remark about a cookery programme .

  31. 106
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    I think I’ll try the Finnan Haddock.

  32. 115
    Mistook a line says:

    “I am sorry that almost a whole morning has been [spent] wasted”

  33. 126
    Lke you said the bankers ARE scum says:

    What a cnut Cameron is AND its frightening that He’s running the country No one not even him comments on an ongoing trial the Pillock. If they get convicted what’s the betting they appeal because he interfered.

  34. 127
    Border Terrier says:

    Dave has impeccable taste in women – me too.


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What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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