December 7th, 2013

Saturday Seven Up

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You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

306 Comments

  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Love stat-urday :)

    • 2
      yes ukip can says:

      The four horsemen of the apocalypse: War, famine, death and the England cricket team

    • 5
      Gordon Brown says:

      I learned mathematics from Forrest Gump.

      • 29

        There is no hyphen in Sat ​u​rday, Bіlly. :-)

        • 42
          Bilda Berger says:

          Au contraire, mon petit chat, he has put one in it.

          If you’ll pardon the expression.

          • Whilst I agree with your description of bald events, I feel that you have not taken sufficient care to establish the basis of necessity for such questionable action. In a similar vein, one surely should not insert things in arbitrary manner purely because it is possible so to do.

          • tanzanite says:

            I see you have all arisen on this grey saturday morning in sparkling form – is it what you’ve all eaten for breakfast. ?

          • Sir Justin Pompous-Arrsliker QC says:

            Excellent! Would you mind if I slipped that oration into one of my courtroom performances as I stand languidly before the jury next week?

          • If you are not too debilitated to get it out…

          • rest in peace says:

            rest in peace cat.

          • Bilda Berger says:

            @Mr Cat

            I am surprised by your sloppiness: did you mean that there is no hyphen in the word “Saturday”? Even putting your “Saturday” in quotation marks would have done the trick. Leaving aside such semantic sophistry, 8illy has coined a neologism and as the coiner thereof is at liberty to hyphenate it to death. Nor should we overlook the fact that he is barely literate and is probably unaware of the etymology of his coinage, since its root may be found in the Old High German “türd” or the Fnnish “tørdd”, meaning a discrete parcel of faecal matter; which means he has put the hyphen, as well as, no doubt, another longitudinal property of his, in the wrong place.

            Hope this helps, innit.

          • Peter Expat came round for dinner last night. We had a very pleasant conversation and the food was good.

            We drank. We drank some more. The only thing I am fit for today is resting. The peace is a whole other ball game.

          • rest in peace says:

            copy the cat.
            make plenty.
            then box and burn.
            cat is god.

          • @Bilda Berger

            It is surprising that someone of your immense erudition should be caught out by the Automated Symposiarch but levelling accusations of sloppiness can leave one rather hostage to fortune.

            Still, now your blockage has been broken, the stultification siphoned away, the evacuation effected, we may examine the intelligence of our friend and perhaps discover that he is a brighter spanner than you may have suggested.

            His deliberate misspelling was an evasive tactic which succeeded admirably in avoiding the Automated Symposiarch. If only your recherché post had been so fortunate. My purpose was to demonstrate that there are more efficient ways of doing this whilst retaining the aesthetic subtlety of the English tongue upon such a sensitive spot.

            The idea that any combination of random characters could be described as a neologism is quite frankly rizlable and I fell it better to roach the matter so that we may continue to enjoy a spliffing Sat urday.

          • thecat says:

            above the box is a slice of lemon.
            wedge it in.
            so when the cat comes out we all say,
            lemon, lemon where art thou.
            mash it or pulp it.
            all roads lead to the potato head.

          • jiji pronunced ji ji says:

            now boys and girls.
            the horn is blown.
            so play with the toys.
            the horn is blown so lets play with the toys.
            in a quite moment lick the lemon but cover your mouth first
            in a quite moment lick the lemon but cover your mouth first.
            cuppa your mouth for the silli.
            smash
            s goes and the cat is mashed.
            what next “ji ji”

          • scallop scallop where art thou says:

            so the potato head says.
            scallop scallop where art thou.
            scallop knows and just says O prah.
            no the cat has not got the tongue.
            the cat is still licking the wedge of the lemon from above. and all the I’s are popping out. So the m a s k split. pee pee
            time for a cookie crumble and apple tart please.
            the cookie has crumbled and it fancies an apple and a tart.

          • Bilda Berger says:

            @Mr Cat

            I’m not persuaded.

            Instead of tetrahydrocannabinol, my afternoon repast merely comprises 2 toasted crumpets and some lemon tea, since my days as a grower are long past, as are the many neurons and dendrites I destroyed back then. I hesitate to flick the amocted, but could your lapse be ascribed to a longer puffing career than mine?

            BTW, has someone notable passed away? The flag at my daycare centre is flying at half mast, and all I hear from the wall-mounted telly is a succession of dirges.

          • @Bilda Berger

            I am neither a grower any more myself and have not been so for some decades. My reference was intended to displace the matter of excreta with something else which has been also described as shit.

            Toasted crumpets are wonderful things, almost devoid of calories and cholesterol, at least until that point when one smothers them in butter.

            My wish was never to proselytise, just to set out the facts as I saw them and to indulge in some airy persiflage, considering it is now the weekend and we can leave hostilities to another day, if indeed we still manage to remember what it was we were worked up about in the first place.

            It might be too much to hope that the BBC has passed away, I suppose?

    • 12
      BBC Mandelavision says:

      We are launching a new channel to hail the great hero.

      Oh, we already have, it’s called BBC1.

      • 15
        Melson Nandela says:

        My great legacy, oh yes, kill whitey.

        • 26
          HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

          Strange that this video has never been aired by the BBC I wonder why!

          • cast iron cum swallower Dave says:

            mass murdering Whitey = Sainthood

          • the powers that be says:

            60 million murdered White Christians = “Uncle Joe” Stalin

            6 million Holohoax victims = world’s most EVIL man, ever, Hitler

            mass murdering Whites, for S.Africa’s diamonds, gold, land = world’s most saintly person, ever, Mandela

          • Nurse, he's out of bed again says:

            Holohoax? Blimey, you sound like a raving nutter.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            6 million murdered white non-Christians plus millions of others, plus our own people killed in air raids, plus our own people killed rescuing the other nations. Thing is, we had a relatively free press willing to report this, including showing the footage from the camps, which for us was unique but for the Soviets with their more repressive regime something to expect. We also lived through it, hence Adolf was indeed a bad man.

            There was no press coverage of the gulags. There was no press coverage of the Ukrainian famine. There was no press coverage of Chinese famines that killed 65 million people. And Western, left wing “useful idiots” (Lenin’s phrase, by the way) being shown only the nice bits by the commies, and then going home and saying how wonderful it all is over there.

            They were all left wing murdering scumbags, but with Adolf you couldn’t hide it as you were living through it, with Stalin, Lenin and Mao you could hide it, and with Mandela, et al, the left wing media wouldn’t report it.

          • Free Nelson Mandela (with every broadcast) says:

            Serial adulterer, communist, terrorist and hero of the Left.

            Definitely not responsible for murder, bombings etc.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umkhonto_we_Sizwe#Bombings

          • CarryHole is the porcine homunculus says:

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Duranty#Calls_for_revocation_of_Pulitzer_Prize

            The media has always been the enemy of informed people.

          • Free? My arse says:

            Well, in the end I actually had to PAY for a free Nelson Mandela tshirt.

    • 32
      Mandela to Rise Today. Peter Oborne says:

      You know the world has gone mad when Peter Oborne says that Mandela was Jesus.

      • 64
        Toxic Labour for spongers, parasites, immigrants and criminals says:

        Saint Mandela was a terrorist, nothing more, nothing less. This fawning sycophancy from the Labour Broadcasting Corporation is sickening, disgusting and ignores the rights of Saint Mandela’s victims.

      • 71
        Jesus says:

        He was not even John Lennon

      • 92
        Desmodm Tutu says:

        If anybody is a living Jesus, it’s me, but I’m too humble to say so.

        I just told Mandela to act like the Messiah or the Marxist dingbat would have screwed up everything

        • 145
          Del Boy says:

          Are you a fan of Martha and the Vandellas too, vicar ?

          • Vaz says:

            Surely you mean ‘Arthur and the Mandelas’, an uptempo and thoroughly foot-tappable-to little combo?
            They had their photo taken with me you know. It made their week.

    • 96
      pr.don says:

      sheesh
      donisintheroll.
      wedgeupade leo.it is jijitime.

    • 252
      Mark Oaten says:

      I love skat-turd-day

    • 299
      broderick crawford says:

      FERGIE SAYS

      Infamous failure David Moyes has revealed he takes being a loser very seriously.

      The former Everton boss, who will be unemployed this time next year, insisted that losing so many games at such a successful club is actually very difficult.

      He said: “There aren’t many people who could have fucked up this badly.

      “I reckon if you had put a used clump of tissues in charge of United this season, the team would be higher in the table.

      “I’m out of my depth and dream of suicide every single day….so I’ve got little to complain about.”

      A spokesperson for the Moyes family confirmed they are embarrassed to be associated with him.

      The Moyes family pet, Trevor, is apparently his mortal enemy

      “David has never even won anything in his life. He even plays noughts and crosses with the family dog and loses every time.

      “We are planning on moving to Australia and not telling him. We’ve got more respect for the dirt off the dog’s dick than we have for him.”

  2. 3
    Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

    I don’t bother with news bulletins or political programmes at weekends so hopefully you know what will have died down somewhat by Monday.

    Some hope!

    • 57
      The BBC speaks to the nation says:

      It will NOT die down(no pun intended)until the funeral on Sunday 15th when the BBC will be clearing all its programming for continual broadcast fro 6am until Midnight on its News Channel and BBC 1. Songs of Praise is to be rescheduled. Just be thankful it didn’t happen on Christmas Eve as all BBC Christmas Programming excl Eastenders and Strictly(some things even out bid Mandela) would be postponed to the New Year

      • 93
        Burgers are bad for you says:

        This is the best news of the week. It means we can all go out for the day and completely forget about this media bumfest.

        • 116
          Toxic Labour for spongers, parasites, immigrants and criminals says:

          Don’t think the LBC reporting of Saint Mandela will die down for at least a month. When the family dig him up again and start fighting over who owns the grave visiting revenue, this will run and run.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            The saddest thing about it all is the worlds political pawns all despicably fawning over him and trying to claim a piece of Mandela for their own political skins when he hasn’t even been buried.

            If the likes of blair and some others were to ‘be put in prison’ for their crimes against humanity – then lessons might be learned – properly and without that saying ‘lessons have been learned’ being just said for effect.

            The non independence of the judiciary – is the biggest tribal problem that we all have.

          • MOSSAD says:

            We wish you were important enough to make accident. But you are not.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            To MO – I remember that you lot claimed Maxwell as one of your own. Indeed – he was a thieving low-life scumbag who for all his wrongdoing in his ‘early life’ [lots to discuss there I might add] then became a media baron. Do I have to wonder as to who really ‘controlled’ him – but lost control when his thieving of pension funds went way beyond the pale and was outed?

            Assassins are useful tools too.

          • Blowing Rentboys says:

            Unlike you. You’re just a tool.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Rentyboy – BW has done all the smear the man / don’t dare address the content of what is written – on this site for over 2 years now. You obviously are a novice troll and really are 1 fucked up obssessive individual – but keep going – you might learn a few things within a hundred years or so.

          • Blowing Rentboys says:

            I’m addressing the issue of you claiming to be on the verge of dismantling the legal system. When is it going to happen? I tune into the news every day, but there is no mention of it. This saddens me because I want to believe you. It would cause me much sadness to find out you were nothing but a liar.

        • 155
          Expat Geordie says:

          So who is paying for the funeral? And will any lefties complain about the cost?

          Maggies’ funeral was nowhere near the £10 million the comrades were claiming, and she paid £1.7 million of the costs herself according to her will. South Africa is a bánk.rúpt shithole – who is going to pay for it? Will Mandela have left any money in his will for it? Will his family pay? Or will the British taxpayer stump up again through the aid budget?

          • BBC, ITV, Channel 4 and Sky says:

            Don’t Worry. We will pay Jacob Zuma and friends a large sum for the broadcast rights and inject millions into their economy for 5* hotels and restaurants, drivers, guides, bodyguards and interviews.

      • 153
        Expat Geordie says:

        So who is paying for the funeral? And will any lefties complain about the cost?

        Maggies’ funeral was nowhere near the £10 million the comrades were claiming, and she paid £1.7 million of the costs herself according to her will. South Africa is a bankrupt shithole – who is going to pay for it? Will Mandela have left any money in his will for it? Will his family pay? Or will the British taxpayer stump up again through the aid budget?

      • 302
        Anonymous says:

        Meanwhile real news doesn’t get a look in. Assas’s re

        • 303
          Non taxable pikey says:

          I’ll try that again. Cat walked over the iPad. Meanwhile other news doesn’t get broadcast. Assad’s thugs have apparently been playing with the sarin again. Meanwhile there have been anti- slavery arrests in Bristol. No change there then with Inspector Nacker turning up 206 years late.

    • 210
      Do you mean this might have died down says:

      Tony’s std?
      Cherie’s temper?

  3. 4
    Nelson 'Terrorist murderer' Mandela says:

    Please could we have more BBC coverage about how wonderful I was.

  4. 8
    Banana Republic Britain says:

    The best thing about the Ashes. No Mandela bollocks, and I bet on 5-0 weeks ago at long, long odds.

  5. 9
    ex pat says:

    Reading that Parliament business will be suspended for monday for a further ‘Nelson’ love in, prior to Dave and senior politicians attending a jolly in S.A., under the guise of the memorial service.
    Intriguing to wonder what unnecessary other ‘senior’ politicians will be attending at the cost of the British taxpayer?

    • 16
      HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

      They will be going on a jolly, whisked away from the airports in limos with motorcycle outriders, straight to their high security luxury hotels and High Commission residences.
      They will be turning a blind eye to the depravation and poverty now endemic in South Africa since the breakdown of law and order and the imposition of black majority dictatorship.

      • 97
        Oscar Pistolius says:

        I for one am thankful for the breakdown in law and order. If it wasn’t for that the Judge would already have pointed out that shooting your wife because she was having a nocturnal piss could hardly be described as a “defence”.

    • 19
      BBC Mandelavision says:

      What time is the party?

      We are sending out 120 journos & other metropolitan liberals to cover this gig.

      The Welsh Elvis (Hugh “I own a black tie” Edwards) is being sent first class.

      David “nepotism” Dimbleby hadn’t had the right jabs.

    • 35
      Cameron: Common Purpose arse brain says:

      Perhaps a good day to bury D Laud. Sjamboks all round.

    • 101
      Burgers are bad for you says:

      Probably only the lightly hued ones. The pale ones have probably got more sense and will stay at home with their new X-boxes for the day (with the tv unplugged – no need to waste electricity unnecessarily, is there?)

  6. 10
    Ed Balls says:

    I was crap wasn’t I

    • 28
      Village Idiot says:

      ….Yes Balls was,but you would not know it from the bbc! Also,..you wouldn’t know about the suffering in England from the storms,but,foreign news….whey hey and a trip,whoopee doo bbc!…It is getting beyond a joke!!!!

      • 54
        The BBC cannot be trusted to report the news says:

        The BBC stopped being a reliable source of news a long time ago…now it is just the Labour Propaganda Unit and advertsing organ for its own BBC shows..

    • 53
      Ed's music teacher says:

      Chopsticks has never sounded better. Keep the piano lid closed.

      • 279
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        Has some piano teacher placed an advert saying

        “Are you a cnut – a real genuine cnut who hates Britain. If so learn the piano with me!!!”

        Cos whoever it is has attracted both Balls and Rusbridger

  7. 11
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    I would like to wish the England cricket team the very best of luck,against Australia.

    The present side is one of the best England teams in living memory.

    • 21
      Ric Holden,CCHQ says:

      Prime Minister,are you a mong?

    • 25
      Ctesibius says:

      Lovely to see Labour mongs trying this one on. It shows that ‘Gordon the Jonah’ must have really hurt them. Thanks for reminding me of all those laughs, Leftie.

      • 41
        Englishman Monty Panesar says:

        fuck the cricket, i’m just gonna piss all over the hideously white Aussies

  8. 17
    BBC Mandelavision says:

    Will Presleydent Um Bongo go to the great man’s funeral?

    He doesn’t do irrelevant funerals like Mrs Thatcher’s, just brothers.

    Aiiiiiight.

    • 50
      South African Farmer says:

      It will indeed be very interesting to hear the decision.

    • 68
      Barack Obamnishambles, POTUS, says:

      Anything, to get away from this public humiliation I’m undergoing with the Obamacare rollout. I’m roughly as competent on this score as Ed Balls was the other day in his reply to the Chancellor.

  9. 18
    Foullaini says:

    Amazed to see the BBC lauding an indigenous patriot willing to resort to terrorism to wrest his country from the hands of an immigrant race who tried to take control of his countrymen’s birthright.

    • 22
      Nelson 'Terrorist murderer' Mandela says:

      Your seem to be confused by the word patriot, murdering terrorist is what you meant.

    • 51
      Observer says:

      The difference being of course that the immigrants created the wealth of the country in question and the original population are now rapidly destroying it.

      The opposite of what is occurring here.

      • 73
        Banana Republic Britain says:

        There was no indigenous population, everyone in SA is an import.

        • 76
          Michael Caine says:

          There were some Zulus I believe. And now there are a lot more, less one.

        • 104
          Pic Botha says:

          That was the issue at the heart of apartheid. South Africa was created by the Afrikaaner while the blicks were still in the stone age. The real South Africa was all white. The blicks that came to South Africa as immigrants just wanted to steal the wealth created by the whites, to short-circuit their way out of the stone age. The whites were not in favour of this.

          Of course, what is happening now is the stone age blicks are running the show, and South Africa is now slowly reverting back to the stone age, and millions of whites are leaving. We told you this would happen. But you know, you have allowed the same to happen in your country. They will drag you down to the stone age. But where will you go? You have nowhere to run.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            My understanding is that when the Protestant Dutch landed there in the late 16th and early 17th Centuries to escape religious persecution at home from the Catholic Spanish, there was no-one there. They were the first people in South Africa. The so called natives didn’t arrive until later as their tribes were forced out of Zimbabwe (as the natives would have us believe that it was called 400 years ago) by other, more warlike tribes.

            The Protestant Dutch are actually the real natives in South Africa, and being Protestant they built up a great country. (Can you imagine the shithole it would have been if they had being Catholic – a South American style banana republic that not even the bl@cks would have wanted.)As PB above so correctly states, the bl@cks just wanted to steal the wealth that they couldn’t be bothered to create.

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            You might want to take a look at the carnage wreaked by Shaka Zulu – way worse than anything inflicted by any white colonists. It is also worth noting that in the lead up to Mandela’s release from Robben Island most of the violence was being inflicted by the ANC and Inkatha Freedom Party on each other. The behaviour of people like Winnie Mandela (who is still lionised by many ANC members) was appalling.

            Nelson Mandela deserves an enormous amount of credit for putting aside what must have been a very powerful urge for revenge and overseeing a relatively peaceful end to the despicable apartheid era.

            References to a new vibrant rainbow South Africa however are very far from the mark. A corrupt secretive white elite has been replaced by a black one personified by people like Jacob Zuma and Cyril Ramaphosa.

            Corruption, violence and the perversion of judicial process are worse than ever but the West seems loathe to speak out – fear of being labelled “colonial” or “racist” I suppose. Still most of the victims of rape and violence are black and that’s even before we get on to Mbeki and Zuma’s weird ideas about HIV.

            I would love to see South Africa generate prosperity for all it’s citizens but at some point the gold, platinum and diamonds will run out. In the interim if significant improvements aren’t made in governance and wealth distribution the Zimbabwe route beckons.

            All of which of course will be a betrayal of what Nelson Mandela tried to achieve.

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            You might want to take a look at the carnage wreaked by Shaka Zulu – way worse than anything inflicted by any white colonists. It is also worth noting that in the lead up to Mandela’s release from Robben Island most of the violence was being inflicted by the ANC and Inkatha Freedom Party on each other. The behaviour of people like Winnie Mandela (who is still lionised by many ANC members) was appalling.

            Nelson Mandela deserves an enormous amount of credit for putting aside what must have been a very powerful urge for revenge and overseeing a relatively peaceful end to the despicable apartheid era.

            References to a new vibrant rainbow South Africa however are very far from the mark. A corrupt secretive white elite has been replaced by a black one personified by people like Jacob Zuma and Cyril Ramaphosa.

            Corruption, violence and the perversion of judicial process are worse than ever but the West seems loathe to speak out – fear of being labelled “colonial” or “racist” I suppose. Still most of the victims of r*pe and violence are black and that’s even before we get on to Mbeki and Zuma’s weird ideas about HIV.

            I would love to see South Africa generate prosperity for all it’s citizens but at some point the gold, platinum and diamonds will run out. In the interim if significant improvements aren’t made in governance and wealth distribution the Zimbabwe route beckons.

            All of which of course will be a betrayal of what Nelson Mandela tried to achieve.

          • Winnie Mandela says:

            “Nelson Mandela deserves an enormous amount of credit for putting aside what must have been a very powerful urge for revenge”

            He was 72. By then he didn’t have any powerful urges, believe me.

          • Graca Machel says:

            I think it was just you Winnie – I never had any problems

        • 304
          Non taxable pikey says:

          Apart from the Bushmen.

      • 102
        • 215
          HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

          At last someone else who knows the real history of South Africa , I have lost count of the times I have been shouted down in disbelief by the ignorant !
          The white Europeans have been in S. Africa longer than the blacks, if it was shouted from the rooftops each morning, and a 100 foot tall sign was erected on the top of Ben Nevis to that effect ,the lefties would still refuse to believe it.

    • 100
      Self Employed says:

      Millitwat said on 5Liebour that the terrorism and violence of the ANC was justified!!!

      • 105
        Desmond Tutu says:

        I disagree.

      • 216
        HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

        What else can we expect from a third generation communist traitor.

      • 276
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        He is right indigenous people are right to use violence and intimidation to assert their authority over unwanted incomers.

        That’s how it works isn’t it?

        Has he cleared this line of thinking with the EU?

        • 296
          Afrikaan says:

          Indigenous you say? Read the above post about who was there first. By your logic everything done to the invading blicks was justified. Or is violence only OK when it’s done against white people?

  10. 23
    Stompie Moeketsi says:

    Has everyone forgotten about me? I would be 39 next week.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stompie_Moeketsi

    • 285
      Winnie the Murderous Bitch Mandela says:

      Come here little one – I’ve got a nice warm necklace for you

  11. 24
    Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

    It was much more fun on this blog when the Rt.Hon and Noble Lady passed on!

    • 27
      a non says:

      If you miss the real fun news here you can always read about it in the Sun.

      Bet you feel special being one of the few Merseysiders who can read. ;)

      • 132
        Ow about it wack says:

        How do you know that his predictable and mind-numbingly boring post’s aren’t ghost written?

        • 159
          Expat Geordie says:

          He could be like Mystic Meg – write out a couple of hundred standard posts/horoscopes and post at random. She seems to make a decent living out of it.

  12. 36
    BBC Re-scheduling Department says:

    Tonight’s Strictly theme will be African Dance.

    With Cosy Powell on Bongos, John Lennon on Chicken Bones and Bono on Drugs.

  13. 38
    DAVE anyone else need a handout while i've got my pen out ? CAMERON says:

    For all the hardworking people sat on the runways of our country

  14. 43
  15. 44
    Why does the BBC praise Mandela and not de Klerk? says:

    By the way has the BBC said and it should be prominently said, that FW de Klerk received the joint Nobel peace prize along with N Mandela in 93 for bringing an end to apartheid in South Africa?

    • 98
      BBC says:

      Shhhhh! The children my be listening.

    • 107
      Desmond Tutu says:

      Desmond Tutu also received the Nobel Peace price.

      It was Desmond Tutu that coined the phrase “Rainbow Nation”

      • 127
        ROYGBIV says:

        Well I’ll go to our back door. I’m sure the BBC told its viewer on Thursday night that Mandela invented “Rainbow” Nation because that got me thinking how the gayers had now hi-jacked the rainbow.

        • 128
          FFS says:

          You will find the quote here, on the BBC website!

          http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-10734471

          • Desmond Tutu says:

            Oh and by the way the “Rainbow Nation” is also a myth.

            20% of the whites have already left, many of those that remain can’t leave because their homes are not worth anything so they can’t buy a home in the UK or elsewhere. Young white South Africans can’t get good jobs because they are reserved for blacks.

            10% of white farmers have been tortured and murdered. A favourite torture method is pouring boiling hot water down their throats.

            I’m sad to say it is a bit of a shit-hole. I’d kick up a fuss but I don’t want to be next on the execution list.

          • Non taxable pikey says:

            Mate of mine is making a small fortune in SA. He breeds Rotweilers.

        • 144
          Blowing Whistles says:

          One day the Greenpeace people will admit that their agenda was hi-jacked by Al and his friends. But for the moment they still cannot come to terms with it all. As for Friend of the Earth – the same goes for you lot – you pathetic and pitifully duped useful idiots.

  16. 46
    Cressida's Dick says:

    I didn’t realise that the Royal bank of Scotland were now running air traffic control.

  17. 47
    Fat Fry? says:
    • 67
      Genghiz the kahn says:

      How many entrepreneurs have been selected as Labour candidates in winnable seats?

    • 75
      White rabbit says:

      Leave it !

    • 205
      I ate a banana on Tuesday says:

      What is it with people who use twitter?
      For fuck’s sake, who gives a flying fuck what you have for fucking breakfast and whether or not it’s a fucking fatty fry up?
      Jeez.
      What mentality must you have to think ‘I’ll tweet what I’m having to eat, and add a picture of a cup of coffee, and sneak in a headline from the paper’?
      Honestly … what IQ level are we fucking talking about here?
      I’m thinking a fucking amoeba maybe.

  18. 48
  19. 49
  20. 56
    Take the Tasers off the Thugs says:

    Police use 50,000-volt Taser on 15-year-old schoolboy with learning difficulties after being called in over ‘scuffle’

    • 61
      Taser and be damned says:

      They just use them as a matter of routine now. Just as every one warned they would. From the copper’s point of view it’s better to give the twat a good zapping than to be given a good twatting. Plus the added problem that Lady Plodesses are too weak to tackle a 6 foot bloke anyway.

      • 83
        White rabbit says:

        Moderately terrifying violent knifing incident in our manor recently. The beefy male plod were armed to the teeth while the girlies were kitted out with walkie talkies.
        Pity, I was looking forward to a uniformed she-ra staggering down the road
        with a bren.

      • 109
        FFS says:

        Seems OK to me. Probably a better deterrent to petty teenage crime than anything the magistrate will hand out.

      • 166
        The Real World says:

        So nowadays it doesn’t matter how uncontrollable or dangerous you are, as long as you have ‘learning difficulties’. I hope everyone who judged the plods for tasering the mong wake up one night to a house being ransacked by people with ‘learning difficulties’.

    • 86
      Curiouser & Curiouser says:

      Why didn’t the murdering plods use a taser on Duggan?

  21. 58
    Gordon says:

    I’m too upset to ever come to work.

  22. 59
    Tristram Hunt(Prime Minister Designate) says:

    If Mitchell called me a “pleb” I would have blown the wheels of his bike with my 44 magnum and arrested him for defective tyres

  23. 63
    BBCQT says:

    Due to the death of Nelson Mandela pbuh rip next weeks programme will come from Johannesburg in South Africa . The panel will be Owen Jones.

  24. 65

    A mendacious, mistaken, MP I knew -
    O! Mr Balls, how do ye do?

      With apologies to William Blake
    
  25. 66
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Nelson Mandela said ‘Privatization is the fundamental policy of our government. Call me a Thatcherite, if you will.’

    • 77
      Zuma says:

      Silly old sod.

    • 171
      The Real World says:

      What Mandela meant was, ‘now I am President I realise that I have two choices. The first is to let mega-corp buy up everything. The second is I have an accident.’

  26. 69
    tanzanite aka nellnewman says:

    I wonder what we are coming to when our police start to use tasers on children!

    • 78
      Take the Tasers off the Thugs says:

      Wait ’till they are armed nell.

      PS take it it’s your birthstone, but don’t like this moniker. Cat’s gone back to his original. Can’t remember your first was it Nell od Nellnewman?

    • 79
      Realist says:

      Ever had a big 6 foot 3 violent 16 year old come at you brandishing a knife?

      • 103
        tanzanite aka nellnewman says:

        I should have thought 2 burly policeman could have sorted that out without recourse to a taser .

        • 110
          FFS says:

          Getting a 50kV shock is a better deterent to petty crime than a few stern words from your local magistrate. And it’s legal.

          • L Finn-Spector says:

            Part of my job is to make sure that no-one can stick their digit into any orifice which might give them a nasty shock.

            I see no danger whatsoever in allowing uniformed thugs on the streets who are armed with high-voltage Tasers.

            [I think I need to go and lie down - my brain hurts.]

      • 175
        The Real World says:

        If you don’t want to end up on the wrong end of a plod beating don’t cause trouble in the streets.

  27. 72
    White rabbit says:

    I’m going to have a word with that Mitchell Johnson about his tattoos.
    He must realise they’ll spoil his career prospects once he finishes playing sports
    and tries to get into the bank.

    • 143
      Pooftahs says:

      They are scaring those poor wee English boys too.

    • 164
      Expat Geordie says:

      Of course England and Hampshire’s Michael Carberry has recently retrained as an electrician. Carbs of course being the best thing to come out of Croydon since Edward Woodward and David Lean.

  28. 84
    BBC Leftwit says:

    In the 1st of many changes to our Xmas broadcasts, the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols from King’s College, Cambridge has been cancelled.

    Instead there will be a live concert from Soweto by Bongo Maffin and the KwaZulu-Natal Youth Choir

    It’s what He would have wanted.

  29. 85
    The British media are cunts says:

    Fuck off BBC scum

  30. 88
    Delia@Xmas says:

    Following this week’s tragedy, let’s rethink that Xmas meal!

    Harira soup to start, or biltong makes a lovely change from soup.

    Instead of boring old turkey and trimmings, surprise your festive guests with bobotie served with chakalaka, kelewele, allocoor and jollof rice with a side of samosas with duqqa dip all washed down with umqombothi.

    For afters, Malva Pudding

  31. 117
    Tristram Hunt(Prime Minister Designate) says:

    Good to see Cameron supporting small businesses, by which he means hedge funds with assets of less than £10bn

    • 125
      yes ukip can says:

      Someone has to keep the Co-op’s new owners in funds.

    • 277
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      I am still waiting for a BBC presenter to mispronounce your surname in the same way they did Jeremy Hunt

      Can’t think why it hasn’t happened because it would be even more appropriate

  32. 119
    Cop Killers says:

    The plod has got to sort out this Taser thing before they start killing people with atrial fibrillation problems.

    • 176
      The Real World says:

      No, people with atrial fibrillation problems need to sort their lives out so that plod has no need to taser them.

  33. 121
    Hard Working Windfarms & Woofters says:

    Boxset Dave negotiating for pole position at Mandela funeral.

    Pass the sick bag.

    • 130
      C.O.Jones says:

      Has Tony managed to buy a ringside seat yet?

    • 142
      Larry the cat says:

      Can I be there too ?

    • 151
      The woman who was caught in the matrimonial bed with Nelson Mandela says:

      It would be an honor to attend the funeral and sit next to David Cameron

    • 200
      Barack Obamnishambles, POTUS, says:

      If Cameron thinks he’s got the inside track he’s greatly mistaken– I, as the true heir to Nelson Mandela, deserve it! Like him, I was the first man of my race to be President of my country– so shouldn’t the honor go to ME? After all, I revered Madiba so much, that my official condolence tweet on his passing was of ME, visiting Robben Island! It’s all about ME, don’t you know! ME ME ME!

      photo/1

  34. 122
    John Motson says:

    Latest:

    Mark Lawrenson to be new Simple Minds lead singer.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/

  35. 124
    Ric Holden,CCHQ says:

    Dear almost identically-blogging Tory MPs: to really help SMEs, stop crippling them with taxes for a Big State & excess business regulation.

  36. 129
    Ric Holden,CCHQ says:

    Listen to Prime Minister David Cameron on the conservative led coalition: “At the moment, we’re in a state of flux, we’re past our best”

  37. 131
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    “My mother was always pulling my leg, that’s why one is six inches longer than the other.”

    • 146
      Sally Bercowitz says:

      Boasting again. You know it’s only 4″ long, and that’s after the viagra as well.

  38. 133
    The British media are cunts says:

    The BBC always sees dead left wing politicians as ‘uniters’ and dead right wing ones as ‘dividers’

    The BBC is full of human piss.

    • 148
      Mr Helpful says:

      It’s probably a correct analysis, though. In a right-wing state, you’re either for it or against it, which could be called ‘divisive’. In left-wing states, you’re either for it or you’re shot in the head. Therefore, people do tend to unite behind lefty tyrants (such as Mao, Stalin, Pol Pot, Hitler), because if you don’t, you’re dead.

      • 160
        albacore says:

        And, back here in old England, of what use is your vote?
        An E U referendum? They’d as soon slit your throat
        Vote rigging, corruption – they don’t hide them any more
        And for every invader there’s a wide-open door

      • 169
        FFS says:

        Right wing libertarians tend to believe in individualism so “uniting” people is high on their list of priorities.

        After all, uniting people has often resulted in the worst atrocities imaginable.

        • 170
          FFS says:

          *Right wing libertarians tend to believe in individualism so “uniting” people is NOT high on their list of priorities.

        • 230
          The British media are cunts says:

          The state cannot and should never be trusted. The left, the BBC, the Guardian and the EU all love the state.

          Enough said.

  39. 134
    albacore says:

    On reflection, it was the commies who won the Cold War
    With the West rejecting all that it had stood for before
    If you’re old enough, you might remember the BBC
    Airing “1984″, warning then what was to be

    • 150
      Blowing Whistles says:

      All that the useful idiots
      need to work out now
      is who funded
      all the commie travellers
      to cause division everywhere
      for their profitable cash cow

  40. 141
    Sheikh Basha Banka says:

    Apparently when Coop and Britannia merged the whole transaction was approved by the FSA.

    As part of the deal the new Bank was to pay levies to the FSA of over 10 million pounds.

    What has happened since those fateful dealings in 2009 remains a mystery.

    If you do not want to be told any lies best not to ask any particularly difficult questions.

  41. 156
    Herbert Gussett says:

    Guy News Room is now so posh, even the right wing political bloggers eat granola and yoghurt for breakfast

  42. 165
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    When you see a family begging, be a proper Tory and get a £50 note out of your bulging wallet and set fire to it.

  43. 168
    Caucasian Effing Old Git says:

    Is it safe to venture out yet or is the state of official mourning led by who else
    the commie Bolshevik Biased Cock Suckers still going on & will be until the new year thats 2018 ?????

    • 187
      F**k the LibLabCon says:

      What the BBC neglect to tell our younger views is Mandela was a communist in pay from and fully supported by the USSR. He himself was a terrorist and has used violence to further his political aims. His lovely wife was also a serial killer and he did absolutely nothing to stop her. Some of our hero worshipping press might want to think about that before fawning over him.

      • 193
        tanzanite aka nellnewman says:

        Bit unfair on Mandela – his wife did most of that stuff whilst he was incarcerated on Robben Island – I don’t know what you think he could have done to stop her!

        • 231
          oscar pistolious says:

          Sing and dance rthymically?

        • 232
          FFS says:

          Nope, not unfair at all. Mandela was the one that set up the terrorism wing of the ANC in the first place. That’s why he was inside. They were blowing up Wimpy bars full of kids on his behalf.

          He made Gerry Adams look like an absolute saint. At least the IRA made some attempt to justify their choice of targets.

  44. 179
    Maggie Blackamoor says:

    If Her Majesty mentions Mandela in the Christmas Message, I shall certainly be projectile vomiting the turkey and all the trimmings.

    • 191
      tanzanite aka nellnewman says:

      I think you can be sure that she will .

      • 206
        Ah! Monika says:

        nell, just tried the suggestion above

        Google whatismyip

        Make a note of the number

        Press reset on your router

        Restart computer

        go back to whatismyip

        Number should have changed

        Try old moniker

    • 207
      Ah! Monika says:

      Have a later Dinner. Saves on having tea / supper.

  45. 190
    A voice in the Wilderness says:

    Rod Liddle criticises BBC for too much coverage of Nelson Mandela death

    Spectator columnist posts comments on Twitter, describing story as ‘famous nice black man dies’

    http://www.theguardian.com/media/2013/dec/06/rod-liddle-bbc-nelson-mandela-spectator

  46. 192
    Not on the BBC says:

    • 194
      Not on the BBC says:

    • 196
      Not on the BBC says:

    • 199
      Not on the BBC says:

    • 262
      tn02 says:

      Yet again, another one spotted…

      Another J’ewish anti-apartheid activist in SA along with the likes of Helen Suzman and Denis Goldberg.

      In the first Youtube video of Mandela singing a song about “killing the white man”, there is a character standing next to Mandela named Ronnie Kasrils.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronnie_Kasrils

      “Ronald Kasrils (commonly known as Ronnie Kasrils) (born 15 November 1938) is a South African politician. He was Minister for Intelligence Services from 27 April 2004 to 25 September 2008. He was a member of the National Executive Committee (NEC) of the African National Congress (ANC) from 1987 to 2007 as well as a member of the Central Committee of the South African Communist Party (SACP) from December 1986 to 2007″

      “Kasrils’ grandparents were J’ewish immigrants from Latvia and Lithuania who fled from Czarist pogroms at the end of the 19th century.[2] He is the son of Rene (born Cohen) and Isidore Kasrils. His father was a factory salesman. His mother worked as a shop assistant prior to her marriage.”

      So almost hand-in-hand with the black civil rights movements in the US and the UK there were prominent J’ews behind all of these movements that sprang up around the globe after WW2.

      We have been had big time.

      • 274
        HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

        There will have to be a mass evacuation of whites from S. Africa quite soon .

  47. 197
    The Complaint says:

    Complaint

    We have received complaints from viewers and listeners who felt there was too much coverage of the death of Nelson Mandela. Some audience members felt there was not enough coverage of the storm affecting the UK.

    We also received complaints from viewers unhappy about the disruption to the BBC One schedule on 5 December

    • 198
      The Reply says:

      Response from BBC News

      Nelson Mandela was one of the most important world leaders of the 20th century whose long and complex life story represents a moment of historical change for people in South Africa and around the world. His death was something we regarded as sufficiently significant both to break into our scheduled coverage and extend our news programmes. His political and cultural influence was global and as both a UK and international broadcaster it is important that we reflected that, and the range of reactions to his death, to all our audiences.

      BBC One viewers received updates on the storm in their area during regional bulletins broadcast at 2250 and in a weather forecast at 0030, on the BBC News website and on BBC local radio stations throughout the night. We are continuing to report on the aftermath of the storm.

      Response from BBC Scheduling

      Interruptions to programmes are rare but we regard the death of Nelson Mandela to be of significant public interest.

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/complaint/deathofnelsonmandela/

      • 209
        Shock Horror! 95 year old dies! says:

        It might have been of “significant public interest” if he’d died whilst single-handedly saving the Earth from an invasion of vampire space aliens from the 11th Dimension, particularly if he used his bare hands, but not croaking on a hospital bed after 6 months of life support.

      • 221
        yes ukip can says:

        More interest than the safety of all the plebs suffering from flooding?

      • 235
        FFS says:

        It’s not the fact that you keep banging on about his death that galls me, it is the fact that you have created a myth not supported by any of the history.

  48. 201
    Anonymous says:

    test

    • 208
      Score yourself says:

      1) 1 + 1 = ?
      2) Spell ‘abominable’
      3) What is next in the pattern? 1, 1, 1, 1, 1,
      4) Which is the odd one out… apple, elephant, banana, pear, pomegranate ?
      5) If a=1, b=2, 3=c etc what word is given as 3,1,2?

      • 212
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Me sir me sir
        No 4 – The white elephant in the room – The EU accounts which ‘still’ have not been properly audited for the 19th year in a row.

      • 213
        Ed Balls says:

        1. 0
        2. Bastard George Osborne bastard.
        3. 0
        4. pear, because it’s the only one that’s not a vegetable.
        5. 0

      • 241
        Jack to Santiago says:

        kan i c u behind da byke shedz arfter thiz inglish lessun baybe?

  49. 214
    Mark wouters says:

    hello,
    The police in uk “have orders to shoot to kill” as was in Northern ireland

    • 217
      HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

      There is NO other way to shoot, shooting to wound is a hollywood fantasy !

      • 223
        Politicaly correct bullets? says:

        How many times did the cops shoot those fuckers who killed Lee Rigby and they survived?
        I wouldn’t be surprised if Police ammo has been doctored to avoid killing another Black man and sparking another riot.

    • 220
      yes ukip can says:

      About time the lefty, fat cat BBC bosses were sorted out.

  50. 226
    Umm. says:

    Just wondering:-

    What is the difference between the War on the !RA and a wounded Afgan?

    Numerous doorstep murders by ‘ our’ ‘ special forces’ of IRA assassins.

    Geneva convention ( suspended ) ??

    Life sentence or Life Pension. One in uniform the other not.

    • 238
      Snot right says:
    • 269
      HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

      The Geneva convention does not apply to internal policing actions when dealing with common criminals, whatever titles they may give themselves.
      Also the Geneva convention is only applicable if both sets of combatants are signatories, I doubt very much if the taliban religious lunatics are.

  51. 233
    British Benders Corporation/ Common Porpoise says:

    Timely of the warring family to allow NM to move on this week, excellent weather in SA at the moment of course, just right for our gayers side show with the blicks when not weeping at the funeral.

    Clearing all current affairs/ news schedules this week allowed us to run our long prepared tributes on all channels while we had a night or three on the piss.

  52. 239
    Sir William Wayde says:

    I feel really sorry for Man U fans, right now.

  53. 240
    think about it says:

    wendi & tony

    Murdoch will be thinking,Godfather film was soft

    • 244
      Wendi says:

      Tony, him not soft for long.
      Big boy (when seen through a magnifying glass).

    • 245
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Were Blair, Brown and Rupe joined at the hip for many of the 13 years of terror and what was it the MOS published some years ago about Blair and Brown allegedly being joined at the hip?

    • 248
      Windi spooned says:

      you mean with horsey head in bed. well mi tonee like horse also too. downstairs…

    • 250
      rupe the dingo says:

      To ny should be twitching even more nervously than before. But with half the world on his trail, what`s one more?

  54. 242
    I shot the sheriff says:

    Why is there no conspiracy theory about the death of what’s-his-name?
    Come on guys.

    • 258
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      errr…because he was 95?

      When you type Nelson Mandela’s name into Google, the second highest suggestion that Google gives is “nelson mandela terrorist.

      This would suggest that in this inetrnet enabled digital world the “plebs” are beginning to see through the state’s presstitute media whores who peddle the establishments libertarian propaganda lies.

    • 292
      Winnie Mandela says:

      If anything there was a conspiracy to keep him alive…..

  55. 246

    Let me offer Lech Wałęsa as an example of someone who lead an opposition movement without resorting to violence.

    For that reason he stands up better in comparison with Nelson Mandela who was only a pacifist from his imprisonment to his presidency and beyond. Mandela was a supporter of the British in WW2 but then he supported armed and violent resistance in his earlier years. People of different political persuasions will take away what they wish from this.

    It is interesting that neither of these man could be regarded as effective economic leaders in their respective countries. They were each really figurehead types and people of this mould often get judged by different standards to the ordinary person. The quality of supposed reason and critical analysis to be found underpinning public perceptions often tends to be somewhat superficial.

    • 249
      Rocky Crusher says:

      Mandela is proof that prison works. He went in as a terrorist thug and came out as a reflective statesman.

      • 293
        Mythological Mandela says:

        Actually I was 72 and only knew what day it was when my deputy FW deKlerk told me what it was.

    • 251
      tanzanite aka nellnewman says:

      My grasp of history is not as great as yours SC but Vaclav Havel should be in there somewhere.

      And love or hate these people they made an indelible and useful mark on history which is more than can be said for the likes of bliar and brown.

      • 253
        anon says:

        you nell aged 61.25, me tarzan aged 101,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • 264

        Vaclav Havel certainly falls into that category and, again, his political and philosophical approach struck a greater chord than his economic performance at home. Agree that he has an important place in history. I am very fond of the Czech Republic and my place north of the Alps is little more than an hour or two’s drive away. I have a number of friends there whom I visit. The sights are beautiful. CR provides Germany with an number of component parts which supports the latter’s exports to China.

        Kind of you to say what you do but I do not actually regard my historical factual base as huge. Rather, I tend to process data and identify patterns. That was what a lot of my previous work in the UK was and I have now had nearly seven years to see it on the ground in Europe. Another useful perspective to counteract the problems identified in that apocryphal English newspaper headline: Fog in Channel: Continent cut off. :-)

      • 265

        Vaclav Havel certainly falls into that category and, again, his political and philosophical approach struck a greater chord than his economic performance at home. Agree that he has an important place in history. I am very fond of the Czech Republic and my place north of the Alps is little more than an hour or two’s drіve away. I have a number of friends there whom I visit. The sights are beautiful. CR provides Germany with an number of component parts which supports the latter’s exports to China.

        Kind of you to say what you do but I do not actually regard my historical factual base as huge. Rather, I tend to process data and identify patterns. That was what a lot of my previous work in the UK was and I have now had nearly seven years to see it on the ground in Europe. Another useful perspective to counteract the problems identified in that apocryphal English newspaper headline: Fog in Channel: Continent cut off. :-)

    • 261
      Mohandas K. Gandhi says:

      I am not a prideful man much taken with tooting my own horn, bapu, but I would most humbly submit that I was not a particularly violent resister of oppression– was I, Sri Cat? Although your analysis is not faulty, may I add. I too would have been a mere tyro in matters economic, and would not have been an effective leader of my newly free nation either, had I chosen to be. I would have been a figurehead as well. It is all for the best that I did not become the first leader of Independent India.

      • 273

        My comments have alluded to Manuben on several occasions, the latest being in the last few days. Difficult to answer the charge that you were thinking of yourself without care for her – she suffered hugely for you.

        Your peaceful approach is acknowledged by most.

        Economically, your approach to localised economic self-sufficiency was probably above average for your figurehead type of person and was a better approach than that of Neru’s IMO.

        The modern system of growing numerous economic development areas seems to reflect that aspect of your thinking to an extent. It is quite different to China’s approach which has been get rich quick and will not sustain itself in the long run. I have not seen any better idea than that in dealing with the long-term solving of the poverty problem but it will take a century to be truly effective. In the meantime, many will carp at the injustice which two systems seems to present. Let them suggest better.

  56. 247
    Blowing Whistles says:

    To repeat somewhat … a la 1989 [The last Communist downfall]

    Isn’t it always those atop the pile of 5h….it; who are the last to put their hands up when the corruption becomes so rife and so blatant and so in yeur face?

  57. 259
    Cammo says:

    According to the Grauniad headline:

    Political and cultural elite set to attend funeral

    Really, do I count under both headings?

  58. 267
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    You might want to take a look at the carnage wreaked by Shaka Zulu – way worse than anything inflicted by any white colonists. It is also worth noting that in the lead up to Mandela’s release from Robben Island most of the violence was being inflicted by the ANC and Inkatha Freedom Party on each other. The behaviour of people like Winnie Mandela (who is still lionised by many ANC members) was appalling.

    Nelson Mandela deserves an enormous amount of credit for putting aside what must have been a very powerful urge for revenge and overseeing a relatively peaceful end to the despicable apartheid era.

    References to a new vibrant rainbow South Africa however are very far from the mark. A corrupt secretive white elite has been replaced by a black one personified by people like Jacob Zuma and Cyril Ramaphosa.

    Corruption, violence and the perversion of judicial process are worse than ever but the West seems loathe to speak out – fear of being labelled “colonial” or “racist” I suppose. Still most of the victims of r*pe and violence are black and that’s even before we get on to Mbeki and Zuma’s weird ideas about HIV.

    I would love to see South Africa generate prosperity for all it’s citizens but at some point the gold, platinum and diamonds will run out. In the interim if significant improvements aren’t made in governance and wealth distribution the Zimbabwe route beckons.

    All of which of course will be a betrayal of what Nelson Mandela tried to achieve.

  59. 271
    HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

    The funeral should be rather interesting, it will resemble the funeral of Kim il Jung ,all participants trying to out weep each other; for fear of being singled out as being disrespectful to the memory of the murdering old terrorist.

    • 272
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      Like the old Soviet Communist Party Congress meetings under Stalin – everyone was terrified of being the first one to stop applauding for fear of being seen to be insufficiently enthusiastic.

  60. 281
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Strictly has just come on – can anyone answer me this ..

    Are Claudia Winkelman and Tess Daly the biggest pair of bimbos on TV since Trinny and Susannah.

    I’m sure both of them must have to hold their breath when they’re having a dump.

    • 287
      Blowing Whistles says:

      How long is it going to be before the Stonewall creeps insist that there be gaybo couples on sleb dancing – such that they are offended by it all?

      Stick that up yeu bumhole tatchel.

      • 298
        Blowing Rentboys says:

        Have you even had sex with a woman?

        • 306
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Hey there Mr pathetic and pitiful Renty – if you surf this website for the past two years you will find the answer to your question.


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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