December 6th, 2013

Keith Vaz Photo Opportunity of the Week

Guido has one more Keith Vaz update to round off his week to forget. The Leicester Mercury love a bit of letters page mockery for their local MP, and they have another classic in today’s edition:

Relating to Keith Vaz and his numerous appearances in the Leicester Mercury, I would like to point out that on Sunday, at about 10am, I will be putting up the Christmas lights at my home and shortly thereafter I will be changing the front wheel on my car.

If Mr Vaz wishes to attend, I will arrange for a photographer to be present.

Sam Baker, Broughton Astley.


Via @kulganofcrydee.


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    And a crew from the BBC

    • 5
      Err says:

      If Vaz has an ounce of humour he will turn up!

      • 26
        Toxic Labour for spongers, parasites, immigrants and criminals says:

        Euuugh, who would want that oily bastard anywhere near their car or house?

        • 33
          Bloke says:

          ‘Mandela was Christ-Like’ – Peter Oborne

          Funny, I don’t remember anything in the New Testament about Jesus chucking street bombs, handing out AK47s or necklacing people with burning chariot wheels.

          • Anonymous says:

            I don’t think he actually did any of those

          • Anonymous says:

            Well said and truthful.

          • CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

            Will we see a resurrection of Mandela after three days? This could be the start of a new religion.

          • Doctor Mick says:

            You are confusing him with his ghastly wife Winnie.

          • Toxic Labour for spongers, parasites, immigrants and criminals says:

            We probably will see the resurrection of Mandela but it will be the family fighting over the body after digging it up. They have a track record of this and do it to make money.

          • Oborne writes some good stuff sometimes just to throw us off the scent that he is really must be a fucking nutter. This piece is just unhinged, just as is the sanitised version of Gandhi, which does not mention sleeping with his grandniece, Manuben, to test his ability to resist lust.

          • FFS says:

            Agreed. Conveniently white-washing out the fact that Mandela was in jail because he planned the bombing of innocent people. He also modelled himself on Fidel Castro and protested US involvement in Kosovo.

            Oborne also gives the impression that Mandela did hard labour for 27 years. He only did three. Furthermore he was only president for 5 years – and according to the film “Invictus” he spent most of the time organising the Springboks rugby team.

          • stun2 says:

            Good points. Also, he made it to 95 years old, probably some 35yrs older than average life expectancy in SA. He was obviously reasonably well looked after (which is more than you can say if the position was reversed) whilst imprisoned. I remember some hagiography being published in the early-mid 90s which a rather attractive girl sitting opposite me on the train was reading. His sanctification was already being prepared as there was no mention at all of the ANC starting out as a terrorist organisation. I did put her right, but she declined the additional offer of help, regrettably.

          • What a sad story of non-incursion where one would reasonably expect to make a swift and successful sortie. So the train did not even plunge into a tunnel?

          • stun2 says:

            Unfortunately, the tender lady gave me the wrong signal in the end, so I had to take the point so I couldn’t cross the line.

      • 31
        Bill Quango MP/8 says:

        He’d turn up to the opening of a door.

      • 48
        Psyche the Dog says:

        Yup, I think if this guy has given his real name, Vaz should definitely turn up complete with not just with one photographer but three, after all Sam Baker did invite him.

    • 6
      No Comment says:


      • 27
        broderick crawford says:



    • 129

      We also have this problem with John Pugh (I think he’s a lib-dem but he might be a tory, or perhaps a labour guy – who knows?) in Southport, with our paper, the Southport Visiter.

      He’s usually never further back than page 2, “calling for” something or other.

      Maybe the main problem is that usually nobody is hurt in the odd milk-float-crash at 2 am, and so there’s nothing whatsoever to write about. Good thing really: says volumes about this town.

      • 184
        Gordon The Medicated says:

        You still ave milk floats?
        And milk deliveries?

        What kind of Welsh rural dump are you living in?

    • 216
      CarryHole is the porcine homunculus says:

      Academic, Liberal Democrat MP candidate and adult film maker Anna Arrowsmith was awarded the honorary SHAFTA – The Palm Phwoar – for her contribution to the adult industry as the UKs first female adult film maker under her producer name Anna Span. Collecting her award Span said:

      “When I started out everyone said porn for women wouldn’t work. That it wasn’t a thing. I say to anybody out there, if you want to do something, go out and do it. Kick down some doors”

      • 220
        stun2 says:

        I don’t really know what to say. Why would a porn star want to be a LibDem? I don’t think she’ll get selected, unless Rennard is in charge, ‘cos the Libs aren’t very liberal in the end. A confused young lady. I’d offer to help, but Uni Hiss needs help with her colour chart. And motivation.

  2. 2
    Popeye says:

    Good boy, you have him sized up I see.

  3. 3
    Baz says:

    It’s not exactly Petronius.

  4. 4
    Oily Vaz says:


  5. 7
    Diane abbott visits a State School and uses a bus. The Common touch 4 London Mare says:
    • 11
      Err says:

      Two places at once?

    • 14
      F**k the LibLabCon (Guido has censored my handle) says:

      What… no mention of St Nelson Mandela?

      • 88
        Expat Geordie says:

        Just tried to post a couple of links to the Army Rumour Service on the topic (you can imagine that they are not the BBC, Guardian or Mumsnet) but I’m awaiting moderation. I haven’t been on Gúído since this happened. Has he gone soft, or just worried about advertising revenue?

      • 91
        Expat Geordie says:

        Just wondering if any lefties will complain about the cost of the funeral? After all, South Africa has gone from a first world economic powerhouse that used to feed all of Africa and a lot of Europe, to a third world shit hole. Can they afford the cost of a big funeral, or will it be coming out of our aid budget?

        • 123
          green funeral says:

          no attendees flying in
          no air-conditioning
          throw the carcass to the wildlife.

        • 242
          Vlad the Loudhailer says:

          No problem the BBC will pay for it as it will make for days of wonderful television. The fact that the east coast populace is drowning in the worst tidal surge in 65 years is an irrelevant distraction.

          • Rufus Stone says:

            “Stay tuned to the BBC for further developments on the storm front”. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

            Still, we will get to hear more about some Johnny foreigner who died at 95.

  6. 8
    F**k the LibLabCon (Guido has censored my handle) says:

    Is that some coke on his nose?

  7. 9
    Woy Hodgson says:


  8. 10
    Keith Vaz says:

    Sam Baker, do you love your country?

    • 16
      Gay Hippy says:

      I love trees but not c…

    • 22
      Alan Rusbridger says:

      I’m so glad you gave me the opportunity to answer that question and thus put to rest the rumour that I’m a Marxist in the pay of the KGB.

      Your old friend, Alan.

    • 277
      Oliver Cromwell's Mum says:

      Vaseline Vaz said he loved his Country, he just didn’t say which Country that was.

  9. 12


  10. 15

    Super smile and say veeez pleeze!

  11. 17
    cured lefty says:

    Why cant we bring back mr. And mrs.for politicians get the spouse pissed in green room. First up short arse bercow and sally,”al shag anythin’

  12. 18
    Pickled Wizard says:

    What on earth is Leicester?-

  13. 19
    So True says:
    • 20
      moronbuster says:

      Don’t let facts get in the way of making a poor point poorly.

    • 28
      Anonymous says:

      I agree. If anyone is setting up a petition or a fund to help the Sergeant’s family, let me know and I will participate. No- I am not mourning Mandela. I never knew him but then again nor did many of those pretending great sorrow know him either. Politicans who have done nothing but ruin this country and get paid for it should shut the f–k up.

      • 53
      • 153
        Anonymous says:

        + lots

      • 235
        Sniper says:

        I said that as the final entry in the previous post – but I’ll just take the liberty of re-posting for those who may have missed it. Let us hope some enterprising person gets it all up and running asap.

        Sniper says:
        December 7, 2013 at 7:28 am

        Yes, somebody who knows how needs to get a petition going to get that lad out. Ten fucking years for offing somebody who not 25 seconds earlier had been trying to cut his head off?

        What the Fuck are these brainless ahsols at the ministry of defence imbibing? Are they trying to incite mutinies in the ranks? If so, they will be among the first up against the wall.

        PS: Where did everybody who died BC go. Couldn’t have been heaven as they had never heard of it!

        I have also asked elsewhere on several occasions when some thick head from the MOD legal bunker is going to explain to the public – and especially to the servicebods and bodesses – exactly why it is ok to off a Taliterrorman from 500 yards, but not from 5 feet, especially when not 30 seconds earlier the latter was trying to cut his head off. S t i l l w a i t i n g…..

        • 270
          Mr Comfortably Numb says:

          Release him, pin a medal on his chest, promote him, give him his weapon and ask if he wants to go back and do more of the same.

    • 193
      The Real World says:

      The commies should beware making us all deify a terrorist. Remember what’s good for the goose and all that…

  14. 23
    Radio Bollocks says:

    Brilliant Sam. Vaz … yuck, fuck.

  15. 29
    Terd spotter says:

    The Bercows are two unpolished terds

    Mr Vaz is highly polished, methinks

  16. 30
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    • 69
      Poodle spotter says:

      It’s Omaha’s poddle Dave FFS

      He is progressing

      Still being trained by our one and only Gabby Bertin, the only good thing in No 10

      (Hi Gabs, keep it up, we still love you)

    • 95
      Expat Geordie says:

      Why do women insist on ruining their bodies with such garish tattoos? I suppose it does act as a warning to those of us with taste to keep away though.

  17. 34
    Keith Vaz says:

    Alright Mr DeMilleband. I’m ready for my close-up now.

  18. 35
    Licence fee payer says:

    Dear BBC

    Thank you so much for your wall-to-wall coverage of the death of Nelson Mandela. Would it be possible to change your schedules so that we can have a Christmas Mandela blockbuster and make 2014 a whole year of tributes?

    • 40
      Universal Hiss says:

      I rarely watch telly but last night was a hoot.Was going to watch This Week,instead I got…

      BBC1 a black block died

      BBC2 same black block died

      BBC news fuck me a black bloke died

      Total wankers.

      • 106
        Expat Geordie says:

        I was watching a programme about the Cold War last night when it flashed a logo underneath telling us to go to BBC1. Had a 15 second look and then went back to Cold War submarines. I actually thought it very appropriate that the announcement came on when that programme was on, as for those of us who were around at the time and had our heads screwed on remember what was happening and it explains our hostility towards “The Great Man”.

        South Africa had a rather repugnant r@cist system in place called Apartheid (a bit like segregation in the US, or multi-culturism here but not as bad). It was also rich in minerals, the only thing that it didn’t have was oil, and was pro-western. With the exception of Botswana is was surrounded by pro-Soviet Marxist states. South African resources kept the Western economies going, and if the Soviets had managed to get control of South Africa’s resources via it’s proxies the ANC and PAC (which was also anti-white) then the effect on the west would have been devastating.

        South Africa falling to the Soviets could have led to a different outcome to the Cold War, and Mandela was the ideological figurehead of the Soviet proxy organisation that wanted to do this. That is why some of us with a long memory couldn’t have cared less about him – he was our country’s enemy.

        • 163
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Ahh that old nutmeg ‘the cold war’ – an organised keep them divided among themselves creation – all created but controlled to pit the west V the East – and guess who controlled it all and maximised their financial profits [the old Double Bubble trick] yeah as ever wasn’t it the Roties?

          Just ‘follow the fucking money’.

          • Blowing Rentboys says:

            I have been watching the news all day keen to see the BW’s much promised destruction of the corrupt legal system. I guess it must have been buried under all the Mandella stuff. I’m sure come Monday BW’s one man revolution will get a the recognition it so obviously deserves.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Do blow it all back up your backpassage Rentyboy.

    • 41
      Anonymous says:

      Question Time next week is being filmed in South Africa.

      ££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££ :/

    • 42
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      BBC say; I’m afraid Father Christmas ain’t gonna get a look in this time around kiddies.

    • 44
      Dimble Bum says:

      Question Time next week is being filmed in South Africa………

      ££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££ :/

    • 51
      BBC News says:

      10 Mandela is still dead
      20 goto 10

      • 60
        Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

        In other news, we’re getting reports that the

      • 61
        FFS says:

        Imagine, you’re actually paying for this daft left-wing propaganda as if it was entertainment!

        Glad I don’t have a telly.

    • 66
      CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

      BBC cancels Christmas for Mandela Lovathon!

    • 278
      Oliver Cromwell's Mum says:

      The Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation is ditching the Queens Christmas message this year in favour of Mandela the Movie. which will be repeated ad nauseam twice daily throughout 2014 until we are word perfect

  19. 43
    Max tedious says:

    Fuck me, we now have BBC NI news interviewing politicians reminiscing about their times in South Africa in the presence of Mandela…which Adams concocting some yarn about Mandela not washing his hand after shaking it.

    Christ, make it stop, someone….

    • 49
      Universal Hiss says:

      I read somewhere that this is going on for 12 days.One would think that God had died.

      Thank God it’s his sons birthday soon to put an end to all this nonsense/bring in another load of nonsense.

    • 58
      FFS says:

      What makes me laugh is exactly what did he do to end apartheid? Nothing. He planned to blow up some inncocent folk and got arrested and put in prison. It was the rest of the world that then turned him into some sort of folk hero akin to Robin Hood complete with songs and movies. He never did fuck all.

      FW de Klerk ended apartheid. He began dismantling apartheid before he released Mandela. FW de Klerk is the hero.

      Still, with Mandela dead that is one less fake hero for the left to witter on about.

      • 65
        Ho hum says:

        I tuned to some sanity on BBC R4 LW for the cricket and Geoffrey said pretty much the same thing. Good on him.

        • 73
          Universal Hiss says:

          Dear me.A man who bored for England.A corridor of uncertainty.Line & length. I’m going to bore on & on & on fur Yorkshire.I never bowled a ball in my life.I bored bowlers with my blocking of balls but I stood there for ever & ever.One run in six overs.Great.

          Fortunately the tossers at the BBC gave me a job for life,like that Robert Pest person.He’s never got a run at first class cricket or economics has he?We both have really,really irritating voices just to fuck you off.

          • Nigel S says:

            GB is exactly who England could do with right now.

            Medium-pace inswing bowler. He was never a genuine all-rounder, but took seven wickets at Test level at an average of 54.57

      • 70
        Universal Hiss says:

        I very much doubt it.

        Murdering tossers tend to end up on lefties t-shirts & revisionist books.See Che Guervara et al.

        • 72
          stun2 says:

          Dead murdering tossers, I presume. Can I get a Blair T-shirt?

        • 93
          Expat Geordie says:

          I hope that there is a special place in hell reserved for people like him, and I hope that he is having a jolly unpleasant time there with Arafat, Begin, Nkomo and that greatest terrorist of them all, Mao. I also hope that he is keeping seats warm for Mugabe, McGuinness and Adams.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            I have a problem with “art” in these matters.Is Neil Jordan a scummy Republican dangerous man?

            One of my favourite films is Angel. Disturbing.Angry & very old.

            Does he despise the use of semtex to blow away peoples limbs or their lives?

            He does of course.It’s difficult isn’t it?Defending a cause you believe in & the violent nutters steal it out of your hands to tarnish it for decades.

          • memory bank is running on empty says:

            You forgot about Banda, Kaunda, Machel, Slovo and N’komo. Probably others around if I could be bothered to look.

          • memory bank is running on empty says:

            Sorry, got Nkomo mixed up with that bloke in Namibia – whatever his name was/is.

  20. 45
    stun2 says:

    At least we now know what will happen when Gerry Adams (PBUH) dies.

    • 46
      Max tedious says:

      Well, not exactly…I haven’t opened champagne for Mandela. I will when that other murdering bastard dies.

      • 82
        South African Farmer says:

        I have.

        • 200
          The Real World says:

          You might as well open it now. There is rumour that the forces of darkness were just waiting for Saint Nelson to pass before launching the final phase.

  21. 47
    Dedicated to the rightie windowlickers here says:

    • 201
      The Real World says:

      A great track from a great album. For those who care Tomb of the Mutilated has the best death metal drumming ever recorded. Shame nobody told them this because everything they did after it was utter crap.

    • 276
      ozzie says:

      who among us can resist the siren call of retard yank obese metal?

  22. 56
    Photobomber Harris says:

    Keith Vaz…the new John Terry

  23. 57
    anonus says:

    7.28 and still it appears that according to Ch.4 there has been no other news whatsoever other than an old man kept alive by warring family finally being allowed to die.

    • 63
      Fishy says:

      C4 are giving Thatcher and the Tories a good kicking now…trying to implicate Cameron too. Also giving Suntan Man a free hit at the Tories.

      The want to know if former MP Terry Dicks should be kicked out of the party…they didn’t though ask if that guy with the ‘Dance on Thatcher’s Grave’ teashit and the moron stood next to him should be kicked out of the Labour Party

      • 94
        Expat Geordie says:

        Strange timing though, to die just after the premier of the film about his life.

        Well, at least we now know that it has a happy ending.

        • 149
          Margaret Thatcher says:

          I know– strange how that happened, someone dying just as they released a film on your life! What are the odds?

  24. 59
    mm says:

    When will the truth finally bring this corrupt man down. Its sickening to watch him moralizing over the press when he takes brown envelopes from rich middle eastern gentlemen? No one seems to have really tried to investigate his seedy side after he got away with it in 2001?

  25. 62
    Righties show their colours says:

    Is Thatcher dead yet?

    • 79
      stun2 says:

      Yes. Any more questions?

      Please note the lack of thousands of ‘dancing on the grave’ posts upon Mandela’s death, in contrast to both the appalling treatment of Baroness Thatcher by the leftie crowd and their self-same predictions for the demise of Saint Nels. One of the quietest days on Guido’s site for a while, notwithstanding the closed nature of it during the morning.

      Might be you showing your colours.

      • 87
        Universal Hiss says:

        I’m trying my best but I’ve been painting.

        Do you realise the colour charts by Dulux is not very good?I’ve got a crisis in my sitting room.The colour isn’t quite right!

        • 96
          BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

          Fucking hell I remember a post from you weeks ago saying you were painting. Is it the fucking Sistine Chapel Pt. 2?

          • Universal Hiss says:

            Not really but I’ve been painting the whole of the ground floor,hall,kitchen,dining room,library,bathroom,stairs & upper hall,sitting room.

            I’m glad you are interested & monitoring my progress.On the whole it’s been fucking tedious.

            I have yet to start on the graffiti.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            & it was a poor joke at stun2 “might be showing your colours”


          • BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

            I’ve a good memory for trivial shite, which doesn’t come in handy during serious exams… I once had to prove Archimedes’ Principle and could I remember how to do it? Could I fuck.

            Luckily, I found that once I started scratching around in the basics it kind of unfolded before my very eyes and I walked out of that exam thinking that the world proceeded on that basis.

            Then it turned out it did.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            & having just put my paintbrush down for the night,I’ll be regaling this site with political news from Scotland for the next nine months.

            You will be begging me for home decoration tips I promise you.

          • BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

            Eck and Nic’s Independence launch went down like a lead balloon.

            That’s about it for the last couple of weeks, and the next 40.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            Watch & wait for the special Scottish fluid mechanics lecture flooding this site shortly.

            It’s something to do with Alex Salmond walking on water while Alistair Darling is a lead weight.

          • memory bank is running on empty says:

            UH: You have lots to choose from. I recommend the Dulux ’50 shades of grey’ catalogue.

  26. 68
    Cynic says:

    Two photo ops at one time

    One to extol the virtues of Christmas in multi non- faith Britain

    A second to publicize down at heel Britain under the jackboot of Tory cuts where householders are forced to change their own wheels rather than relying upon hard working (Asian) entrepreneurs to do it for them

  27. 74
  28. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Didn’t Nelson Mandelo blow up a train station?

  29. 83
    Universal Hiss says:

    & this site made me laugh too or was it Guido watching his back knowing the reaction of some of his contributors?

    We can wait a few hours to point & laugh you know,not at any ones death but the reaction of other people at any ones death.

  30. 84
    Vazoline says:

    You won’t be mocking me when the announcement of my expected knighthood is made on 1st January.

  31. 86
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest man in politics says:

    Just wanted to point out that I too an leading a proud people, long oppressed by white colonialism, on the long march to freedom.

  32. 102
    Centre Parting says:

    A complete vazgina without the vazjazzle.

  33. 103
    Saffron says:

    Don,t comment often but have liked this site and most of the comments.
    There are quite intelligent and informed comments and then there are the dross crowd who apparently don,t know their ass from their elbow.
    1) Bolshevic broadcasting lot a disgrace.
    2) Their coverage of Thatcher death another disgrace.
    3) Savile another disgrace.
    4) Out of all normal payments to leaving staff another disgrace.
    5) Patten can,t answer questions another disgrace.
    6) Ballspuceface attempt answering Georgie boy an absolute car crash.
    7) Should this lot of bedwetters exsist for much longer at licence payers expense.
    8) Finally Nelson Mandellorosio or whatever like obbumo calles him,do you really think that the great British Public want this pushing down their throats,well beeboids think again you are on a loser.

    • 117
      The BBC says:

      Nelson Mandela was a very nice man (when his fans weren’t putting burning tyres around black people’s necks).

      And now, another item about Evil Tory Cuts.

      • 269
        FFS says:

        Mandela was the founder of Umkhonto we Sizwe, the armed wing of the ANC. They planted numerous bombs during the apartheid era and killed many innocent people, including blacks. They were condemned by Tutu’s “Truth and Reconciliation Commission” but of course got off and in most cases the people involved claimed high ranking jobs in post-apartheid South Africa.

        Mandela never appeared to discuss his involvement in organising bombing campaigns in front of the commission.

        Mandela had a lot in common with Gerry Adams and Yasser Arafat, but little in common with Ghandi, Aung san suu Kyi.

    • 120
      not the Bolshevik Broadcasting Company says:

      Now move along back to your state funded nursery……

      We always have our finger on the pulse of pubic opinion

      and therefore knows what is best for our multicultural diverse ever increasing

      population as masturbated by the Guardianistas

    • 126
      The British media are cunts says:

      The BBC is full of piss ants

  34. 108
    Archie says:

    If you’re looking for a naked self-publicist, try Tim Farron. The creep will pretend to perform any task but only when The Westmorland Gazette staff photographer is present.

  35. 121
    The British media are cunts says:

    Mong in charge of BBC news states Mandela is most important person of last 100 years. Same mong claims BBC does not have left wing bias.

    The BBC is a joke.

    • 155
      Tony the Phoney says:

      Mandela the most important person? Pshaw! That would be ME, of course.

      I will concede, however, just on all-round statesmanship and saintliness, Mandela DOES give me a run for the money.

      That Obama poseur, though– don’t even get me started…

      • 241
        A one-eyed ex Prime Minister says:

        Sorry chaps, that role is already taken.

        • 256
          The A Team says:

          You’re havin a laugh mate,



  36. 122
    The British media are cunts says:

    The BBC is bigging up the IFS crap about the economy once again. The IFS is about as reliable as a chocolate teapot.

  37. 124
    This is what corruption looks like says:

    Would Keith Vaz turn up at the opening of an envelope ?

    • 135
      Universal Hiss says:

      Depends on how much in cash & what photo ops there are.

      10% dscount on above for charadees.

  38. 127
    time for Vaz to do says:

    Leicester Mercury and Guido should team up to list:

    101 things Vaz could do

  39. 132
    The British media are cunts says:

    Fucking BBC cuunts having a go at Maggie again and bigging up the jock one eyed cuunt over the dead black terrorist.

    Get fucked Nick Robinson you fucking shit bag.

    • 159
      RomaBob... says:

      Had to laugh this morning as Radio Five Live presenter said,” Now for the Sports News.”

      1st sports news item was about David Beckham releasing a statement offering his condolences to the family of Nelson Mandela blah blah blah……

      Unf*cking believable !!

    • 257
      FFS says:

      That would be the same Maggie that supported Desmond Tutu’s plan for dis-investment in South Africa which caused the Rand to drop 35% and put immense pressure on the South African government?

      Desmond Tutu was the hero, Maggie was on his side and Mandela got a walk-on part as the Messiah because some in the left-wing media wanted him to be the next Castro. Mandela did f-all except play his part as Jesus which is all he really wanted in the first place.

  40. 133
    Vaz Xmas Tree says:

    Walk the streets of Leicester, after dusk, where they don’t know it’s Chrismas (or don’t celebrate it) dressed as a Xmas Tree. Of course Vas can have a halo brightly shining over his head.

  41. 138
    Vaz i'm a says:

    join up with I’m a celebrity get me out of here about end of April 2015.

  42. 140
    Master Mindless says:

    A fresh picture of Keith Vaz is always available at .

  43. 141
    // Uni says:

    It’s like two separate worlds.

    The real world where no one can give a fook about Mandela

    And the meeja world where everyone is trying to outdo everyone else to say the bestest thing possible about the dead terrorist. In fact no one dare tell the truth because they know the Mandela pack will turn on them and tear them to pieces.

    • 208
      The Real World says:

      Mandela is one of the most famous people in the world so his death is obviously news but once you have been told then thats it. Banging on and on about it just sends viewers into the arms of the other 1000 TV channels. The only people who want to hear about it endlessly are lefty mongs, but then thats all BBC news is for anyway.

      • 221
        Anonymous says:

      • 234
        Anonymous says:

        Is he STILL dead I thought he was Jesus fucking Christ?

      • 258
        FFS says:

        Yeah, but they don’t want to hear about Mandela. They want to hear about the myth of Mandela.

        They conveniently forget the bit where Mandela was caught red-handed as the organiser of the Church Street Bomb and was put in prison after due process. They leave it as an open issue so people imagine he was put in prison because he was black.

  44. 142
    The British media are cunts says:

    Fartbott on Newsnight, once again the BBC having ago at Fachur.

    I hope every fucking person at the BBC gets cancer and has a slow painful death, fucking scum.

  45. 144
    Brothers in ARMS says:
  46. 148
    Keith Vaz says:

    I love my photo opportunities, do you?

  47. 152
    Anonymous says:

    F.W. de Klerk

    The man who *actually* ended apartheid.

  48. 154
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    The marine sergeant is named and shamed with photos as well. So why can’t Jamie Bulgers killers new identities and photos be revealed now. Where is the equality?
    The stench of hypocrisy smells ever stronger.

    • 206
      Anonymous says:

      I think we’re being taken down from within by lefty liberal fags. Who else could have deemed it necessary to name Marine A?

      • 213
        domino says:

        Spot on, it was more important for them to cement their PC credentials than consider the impact on the soldier and his families, the wars in Afghanistan would be better fought at the MoD, I give more credit to Taliban fighters than cowardly civil servants.

        Blair killed 1000′s from his office, when is he going to The Hague?

    • 207
      domino says:

      If I knew them I would post it all over FB and Twitter and make sure it went around the world, f_ck the Attorney General and his illusion that his attempt to conceal the identity of those two little beasts applies never applied at the height of the Empire, even less so now as a puppet state of a corrupt EU.

      • 211
        Baby P's killers says:

        Everyone knows who we are and what we look like but nothing happened to us. People are just too busy to give a damn.

      • 240

        Whenever i hear of a young man contemplating enlisting in the armed forces I do all I can to dissuade him. The betrayal of Sgt. A tells you all you need to know about the senior officers , in charge , who in the full knowledge that the mans’ family will be in constant danger from revenge attacks conspired to strip him of his anonymity .These self serving ,weak, spineless, political placemen are only concerned about their precious careers in an emasculated Royal Navy ,that has more Admirals than frigates ,and an army with more generals than infantry battalions.
        If there must be constant defence reductions, the most effective measure would be to root out these parasites along with the hordes of MOD pen pushers who take up such a large portion of the defence budget.

    • 246

      Named but NOT I repeat NOT shamed!!

  49. 156
    RomaBob... says:

    Vaz……. he is the British Mandela, a national treasure.

  50. 157
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    The BBC is out of touch and out of date. Time to cut £50 from the tv license.

  51. 158
    Universal Hiss says:

    It’s all O.K. BBC2 Mandela.BBC1 some unfunny bum sex person.I gave up after 30 seconds.

    Just at that viewing all is getting back to normal in BBC la la land.

    Until the funeral. Oh dear.

    I hope they play this…………

    • 170
      stun2 says:

      Aren’t you supposed to be decorating?

      We had that problem with a colour and ended up pouring it all into a massive tub of matt trade white emulsion, as it turned out a tad darker than expected.

      One man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist.

      • 174
        Universal Hiss says:

        Paint is like an MP. Promises something & turns out to be something else.

        & anyway can’t I stop now? Look at the fucking time. Way past wine time.

        & I’ve got side tracked as you do on youtube.

        Dido & someone else(same Purcell vibe going on here)wonderful bloke that.

        Goes off to find it…………

        • 178
          Universal Hiss says:

        • 185
          stun2 says:

          Was that the sound of your arse being slapped at 00:40 for not finishing the decorating?

          Very dirge.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            You listened to it?

            I’m shocked. If that’s not your taste look up the Jessye Norman one.

            & it’s supposed to be dirge. Slaps head with a freshly cleaned paintbrush.

          • stun2 says:

            Can’t decide whether to break into another bottle of wine…so cheap at the moment with reduced prices and 25% off for buying an evening”s worth.

            I think my ISP blocked Dildo and Anus for the Jessye Norman one. Nah, listened to it. Have to be in the right state of mind. Maybe after decorating, but realising that the full job is not yet done.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            try this one then……..

            It’s not Purcell though………

          • stun2 says:

            Not bad at all. I think I bought his insurance.

            Got some tappy foot stuff goin’ on now.

            He’s aged a bit (me too, since Igor was singing this)

          • I was asleep and then got woken up by all these noisy, pissed decorators.

            No whitewash in the White House but plenty of graffitti on Guido! ;-)

          • stun2 says:

            Shhh, we’re enjoying ourselves> Not a creature was stirring. Except the cat

          • Universal Hiss says:

            Pissed.Time for bed.I’ve seen so many wonderful people on you tube.

            Not one of them is an MP.

          • UH used to be such a measured poster. Now, it seems she is constantly the worse for drink. Mind you, with all that decorating, one can hardly blame her.

            Better than having the decorators in, I suppose…

  52. 160
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Diane Abbott is on Newsnight. She really is a vile fat bitch.

    • 169
      Fishy says:

      We are offered two versions of the truth:

      Robin Renwick’s who as Ambassador to South Africa was at the heart of what was going on and knew of the pressure Thatcher was putting on South Africa and

      or the Racist Abbott, who sees thing only through a party politicing hard left filter, implies Thatcher was racist and supported South Africa. She offers no evidence and says this for no other reason than she wants it to be true.

      The BBC (and C4) have been saying for the last few days that Thatcher refused to impose sanctions on S Africa. That is also a lie, she did impose them on weapons and oil.

      • 171
        Fishy says:

        (pressed post too soon)

        Robin Renwick’s who as Ambassador to South Africa was at the heart of what was going on and knew of the pressure Thatcher was putting on South Africa and was meeting regularly with Mandela.

        • 181
          FFS says:

          In any case, de Klerk was well on his way to dismantling apartheid when he released Mandela and made the ANC legal.

          Mandela’s involvement is a myth. He only adopted his Messiah posing when Tutu visited him in prison to tell him that was what the left-wing press in the Western world were building him up as and he needed to play along with it. It was Tutu that continued to press hardest for a peaceful end to apartheid, a peaceful reconciliation after apartheid.

        • 261
          Burgers are bad for you says:

          It is of course part of an Ambassador’s brief to get to know all sides of the situation, so talking to Mandela and the others in that gang would have been what was expected of him. A lot of countries don’t like other people’s diplomats meeting or talking with opposition figures – the Chinese being the very obvious example.

      • 182
        Alice says:

        Watched that. Racist bitch Abbott was clearly brought on specifically to slag Thatcher.

        • 262
          FFS says:

          Thatcher that joined with Reagan to bring about the policy of dis-investment in South Africa at Desmond Tutu’s request. It was that policy that brought South Africa to heel. Fatbot is just a spittoon full of lies.

      • 183
        Universal Hiss says:

        Bick wonderful.Wite very nasty indeed.

        Nothing much changes. Africa as a whole is probably the richest continent on earth & look at the state it’s in.

        Heart of Darkness, just an exchange of the skin colour of the spivs.

  53. 162
    CCHQ spinners says:

    Two good weeks to bury bad news!

    • 164
      RomaBob... says:

      More likely a lucky break for your mates in Liebour.

      • 175
        not the Bolshevik Broadcasting Company says:

        NOTE this is Embargoed until 15 Dec 2013

        MP’s are to get there 11% pay rise in full backdated to 2010

        Expenses will rise with inflation as per Iranian Price Index

        also Pensions will rise @ RPI + 15%

        3rd & 4th Home Expenses will also now be included as legitimate

        necessary incidentals

  54. 187
    Ed Balls is losing it says:

    Miliband is a sly one. Guess what that little dweeb is planning?
    Replacing me as shadow chancellor with Yvette! He knows if I object I’ll never get another Blowie!

  55. 204

    As it might be the case that Keith Vaz still has overclaimed expenses to repay. may we be expecting a book from him about the life of Nelson Mandollar?

    • 214
      Podiceps says:

      I think that any book from Vaz would be about Vaz. It would be ghostwritten, of course. In my publishing days I had to participate in some of these confections and it was always a sad business.

      • 223

        My preference is to read political autobiographies well after the dust has settled. I enjoyed reading Jock Colville’s enormously, but he had a wonderful subject. I also read Crossman, Healey, Hurd and Margaret Thatcher’s diaries. I got the impression that there was not much ghost writing in any of those. It was interesting to read accounts by those who differed to my political instincts. Invariably, I found they still had something to offer and that helped to partly ease the dislike I felt for them all those years ago.

        The other critical aspect was that they had all experienced life during the war which modern politicians have little idea of other than the remote wars we have, away from our land. It is disturbing to note that those who experienced conflict upon our shores invariably had a better grasp of priorities than the modern equivalents do. No one would willingly wish war upon their own country but it does shape characters in a way that peacetime does not.

        I cannot imagine that I could ever derive any benefit from reading the likes of Blair, Brown, Hain, or for that matter, Cameron, Dorries, Bone, Bercow etc.

        Gove and even Osborne, maybe, due to their particular struggles in office against overwhelming odds. Farage would probably be interesting. But I doubt they would match up to the excitement I obtained from reading Colville, not that he was a politician of course.

        • 225
          Podiceps says:

          Well, Colville was private secretary to Churchill among other things, and the publication was of his own diaries, so you would expect them to be gripping. I was having to edit lesser stuff, and indeed a lot of this was ghostwritten. But among this dross were some genuine and absorbing memoirs, especially Quintin Hogg/Lord Hailsham, with the famously gruesome first page; and Norman Tebbitt, whose account of flying a Meteor through a hangar when its engine flamed out on takeoff is a classic of cool.

          • Indeed. But Colville had a relationship with Churchill that must be unique in modern times, again due to the gravity of the situation. Incidentally, I always thought that diary keeping was not allowed in wartime, service personnel were debarred from it.

            Both Hailsham and Tebbit fall into my original category in that they came from a similar age. Hailsham was a wonderful writer too. It must have helped to make up for your other, less fulfilling, work.

            Grebes do mimic spheniscidae, fascinating world.

          • Burgers are bad for you says:

            Did you ever get round to Alan Clarke’s little efforts?

            Standards were far higher than today – people like far-sighted Enoch for example. Is there anyone close to match his intellect among the present rabble?

  56. 233
    Horatio says:

    I’ve got a column, what have you got Mandela?

  57. 238
    POLITICIANS making you work longer , so they don't have to says:

    The ladies sewing circle at the local community center is also looking for a chairman , as he chairs everything else he might want that one as well

  58. 244
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    POLITICIANS making you work longer , so they don’t have to says.
    I like the cut of your monika gibe. Is it the Xmas recess again?, Mandela was a really good chap but we are not going to re-call parliament to discuss the issue, 145 days a year is enough for anybody (Gordon one day), escape from robbing island?.

    • 248
      Green policies are going to kill 30,000 people this winter says:

      Let us hope and pray the 650 are stuck on a runway somewhere near us.

      • 251
        POLITICIANS making you work longer , so they don't have to says:

        I would prefer they were stuck in the turbines of the planes Rolls Royce engines

  59. 245
    Flying over the Westminster Village says:

    No planes in or out of UK this morning.

    Has there been a COBRA meeting?

    • 247
      Eccles says:

      Do not be so silly. It is a Saturday.

    • 249
      Rob Roy says:

      There might be problems in England but everything is fine in the skies over Scotland.

    • 250
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      COBRA sounds like an acronym for something which is much less deadly than a snake.
      Reassuring (?)
      Anal sphincter twitch

  60. 253
    Bolingbroke says:

    Heard the resident commie Evan Davies (Radio 4 this morning) say, Some people are comparing Nelson Mandela to Jesus !
    They must be broadcasting from the fucking Vatican!
    I’m pleased they kept him away from the loaves and fishes when he was incarcerated otherwise none of the fuckers would have wanted to go back to Soweto!

    • 268
      FFS says:

      If anybody could be compared to Jesus in that saga it was Desmond Tutu. Desmond Tutu was the one that got Reagan and Thatcher to put economic pressure on South Africa. Desmond Tutu was the one that invented the term “Rainbow Nation”. Desmond Tutu headed up the “Truth and Reconciliation Commision” when many blacks wanted outright violent revenge. Tutu got the Nobel Peace prize and many other accolades for his work. Desmond Tutu didn’t kill anyone

      Of course the reason Desmond Tutu worked tirelessy to build the “Rainbow Nation” was because he was a devout Christian. The BBC would prefer to big up the Fidel Castro admiring Mandela. It’s pretty clear why.

  61. 255
    MajorFrustration says:

    What a sleaze bag he is. Just imagine him in the Lords

    • 272
      Vazeline® - The Slipperiest Substance On The Planet says:

      “Just imagine him in the Lords”

      I could SLIP in there quite seamlessly! Thanks. That would be another 300 British quids per day into my pot, thank you very much.

  62. 274
    Vazoline says:

    I’m on my way to South Africa. It’s an opportunity I simply cannot miss.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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