December 6th, 2013

Friday Caption Contest (Balls Sucks Edition)


  1. 1
    Mitch says:

    Red Ed’s sp*nk – hmmm….

    • 34
      yes ukip can says:

      Ed M: No, you foolth I thaid ‘thomeone him a good punth’.

      • 71
        The last Bastion says:

        “I’m going need to drink a lot more than this to withstand the constant fawning over that dead communist terrorist”

        • 81
          Only chavs shop at Tesco says:

          Agreed, Last Bastion. I was in bed with flu all night, with Radio Quatre on in the background. The coverage of Bono’s late friend’s demise was staggering. There was barely ten seconds on any subject between the self-flagellating and the desperate climbing on the dead one’s band-wagon. It was truly astonishing and grossly out of proportion, especially in view of the suffering of so many caught up in the watery nightmare on the East Coast. It also meant less coverage of the appalling Ed Bollox’s disintegration in the House yesterday.

          • Honestly, I promise you the harder we suck, the fuller the glass gets!

          • Use your own moniker.

            I know Labour people share things like glasses, monikers and STDs but you can do that on LabourList.

          • broderick crawford says:





          • Barnehurst Bob says:

            It’s been a bit of good news for the BBC. If it had not been for Mandela s death they would have had to concentrate on the floods. This would have left them open to criticism that they ran with the floods to ignore yesterdays autumn statement. Now they can claim that they even pushed the floods off the top spot and they caused death and destruction because Mandela was bigger news.
            What they were never going to do, under any circumstances, was spend any time dwelling on Balls’ hilarious performance yesterday. That’s because they’ve all backed him and his plan to the hilt since the election. Just like they backed Brown and Balls when they ran the economy aground. Every one of them has parroted the labour line, it’s been like listening to a party political broadcast whenever I’ve had the misfortune to listen to Stephanie Flanders. The news rooms of the BBC must feel as good as Ed Balls does this morning. They called it wrong, they know it and they know we know. However, they believe events in South Africa will take our mind off it and we’ll soon forget. They’re wrong again!

    • 90
      Ed Millibandela's nose says:

      Tho long thuckerth!

  2. 2

    Ed Balls really sucks.

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    “Go then, in honour of Nigella”

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    I’m going to suck you dry.

  5. 5
    Havocman says:

    Balls – the last straw.

  6. 6
    Actually.. says:

    Don’t tell Ed, but the other 3 are spitting in it..

  7. 7
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    Oh this chrystal meths is divine, Yvette I have an urge coming on!

    • 78
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      Dust off my nazi uniform and don’t forget the flying helmet and the stick of cellery :-)

  8. 8
    WelshRacer says:

    Stick straw in deeper suck faster

  9. 9
    Newsfox says:

    Ed Balls denies clutching at straws

  10. 10
    Major Bonkers says:

    I’ve got herpes.

  11. 11
    Pete says:

    Are they sucking or blowing?

  12. 12
    alexei says:

    These Co-op coke sessions dont affect my speech one bit!

  13. 13
    Piggy Troughers says:

    Mmmmmm tax payers cash.

  14. 14
    Kebab Time says:

    “Why not , Its not my kool aid”

  15. 15
    JAN Mcdonald says:

    Austerity measures had hit an all time low.

  16. 16

    Let’s suck it and see, the bully bluffer’s guide to the economy.

    It’s all gone Balls up.

    David Cameron’s got pig sperm, I’ve got ….?

    The other three don’t appear to be that happy that they’re supping from my pot, but then again, nor were the British public

    Smells like bullshit, tastes like bullshit, my God, it is bullshit.

  17. 17
    Dave James says:

    “The only thing about me that doesn’t suck is my wife.”

  18. 18
    Clint McClintlock says:

    “And this is how Labour’s economic policy will work, one person buys a drink and 3 others take their share”

  19. 19
    Kebab Time says:

    “First batch of whale sperm destined for China rigorously tested by excited employees at local factory”

  20. 19
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    More ice your cyanide?

  21. 21
    Fintan Kat says:

    The one with the short straw tells Ed he’s finished!

  22. 22

    He who sups with the devil draws the short straw?

  23. 23
    Mogul says:

    Eurovison pop group ‘Bucks Fizz’ reunite for an album and tour.

  24. 24
    Actually.. says:

    Balls Expense Claim: Drinks for 3 colleagues – £50.

  25. 25

    It looks as if Ed had a stroke.

  26. 26
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    After the collapse of the Co-Op Bank, Ed’s Christmas Party allowance was cut.

  27. 27
    Bram says:

    Blood suckers.

  28. 28
    Competition says:

    Whoever drinks most gets it on expenses.

  29. 29
    Justin McGuirk says:

    Meet the Suckers

  30. 30
    BenE says:

    too far, too fast, comrades

  31. 31

    4 flat- liners mainlining.

  32. 32

    Where one finds balls, one often finds miles of tubes.

  33. 33
    Mory Camby says:

    And Ed said that after Osborne was through I wouldn’t have a pot to piss in.

  34. 35
    Chris John says:

    The harder I suck the redder I get

  35. 36
    Badger says:

    Ed Balls leaving drinks live up to expectations.

  36. 37
    Alf Garnett says:

    What lovely Kool Aid!

  37. 38
    tanzanite says:

    bullyballs’ idea of austerity.

  38. 39

    Ball-juice cocktail.

  39. 40
    yes ukip can says:

    Ed Balls: The drink is flat. If I had made it, it would have been fizzing.

  40. 41
    Cymro oddi ar y llinell says:

    Induction, compression, power, exhaust. Bye!

  41. 42
    Dr Quack says:

    Balls tops up his ‘red face’ elixir prior to the autumn statement.

  42. 43
    a non says:

    Guess which one’s the straw man?

  43. 44
    Splutterer says:

    Cheers Ed. Your showing on Thursday was the last straw.

  44. 45

    Balsamic Bloody Mary?

  45. 46
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Perhaps Ed didn’t realise that he was indeed toasting that he would soon be toast.

  46. 47
    Plonker + says:

    Ed continues to suck the life-juice of Labour.

  47. 48
    Henry Crun says:

    I was a bit worried when I was asked to suck a straw. Glad it’s not Jack.

  48. 49
    yes ukip can says:

    Ed Balls: Anyone know a good poet? I need one with a licence to update my cv.

  49. 50
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Was the woman’s, on the left, t-shirt a premonition – OUT?

  50. 51
    Labour-ious says:

    “The more tax payer’s blood we suck up, the less voters there are to stand against us!”

  51. 52
    Was at PMQ this week says:

    Hey, you three suck, and I’ll blow, then it balances, if it doesn’t balance we’ll get someone else in to blow and then take it from there.

  52. 53
    Rocking horse says:

    This is just like old times with Gordon.

  53. 54
    nigella says:

    Thank heavens it’s just an orange juice. I am sick to death of cock-tales doing the rounds!

  54. 55

    Is that Andy Marr’s imaginary illegitimate child on the right?

  55. 56
    Kaz says:

    OMG! I know the woman on the right!

    Two-faced cow.

  56. 57
    Vlad the Energy Impaler says:

    Redex will boost your power (but only if you are an internal combustion engine).
    Humans should try Red Ed.

  57. 59
    Antipo-dean says:

    We’re all in this together.

  58. 60
    Justin McGuirk says:

    A sucker, A mucker, A rucker and then there’s Ed, A ……

  59. 61
    Vorsprung durch prezzanik says:

    Co-op blood bank about to run dry, just like the money bank.

  60. 62
    Justin McGuirk says:

    I can taste blood.

  61. 63
    Jim says:

    Balls and his Spads take part in a team-building exercise prior to writing Balls’ autumn statement speech.

  62. 64

    Four Labour supporters
    + One drink =
    Four expense claims

  63. 65
    tanzanite says:

    This will be balls’ pre Autumn Statement meeting to coordinate his heckling strategy against Osborne.

  64. 67
    Quite says:
  65. 68
    Village Idiot says:

    ……….”Man of Straw,with straw,SUCKS”………..

  66. 69
    Steve Miliband says:

    It’s my shout

  67. 72
    The British media are cunts says:

    Ed Balls sucks big time.

  68. 73

    I told you socialism sucks.

  69. 74
    Anonymous says:

    If I ran the economy we could only afford one drink for every four people

  70. 75
    anonus says:

    Liebor suckers get in training for a snap winter reshuffle.

  71. 76
    Gordon The Medicated says:

    Now..where did I leave my fizzy orange?

  72. 77
    Bill Stickers says:

    David Milliband`s heartfelt leaving present to the faithful shared out finally.

  73. 79
    Badger says:

    hopefully the rohypnol i put in this will make them forget yesterdays performance.

  74. 80
    George Gershwin says:

    “You say to-MAY-to, I say to-MAH-to– let’s call the whole thing off…”
    “How’s about we call YOU off instead, Eddie boy?”

  75. 82
    Captain Schettino says:

    Labour netball substitutes visit Jo`burg Co-Op funeral home.

  76. 83
    Perse O'Nalley says:

    Ed, ‘Oh I love the latest version of felching?’

  77. 84
    Banana Republic Britain says:

    Ed (Miliband) will never find us in here.

  78. 85

    Hope it runs in their jeans.

  79. 86
    P. Doff says:

    “Keep going until it’s half full – or is that half empty? I get so confused.”

  80. 87
    Another Headshrinker says:

    The thing Yvette makes me stick in my mouth and suck is much thicker, meatier and gives me a salty liquid at the end! I prefer the black ones!

  81. 88
    Ed Balls says:

    Tweets, fantastic turnout for my leaving party.

  82. 89
    Ed Millibandela's nose says:

    Ballthy had to eat the thoggy digethtive yethterday, at leatht thith dwink took the tatht away.

  83. 91
    only jokin says:

    Balls: This ain’t the first time I’ve had a Straw in my fat useless gob

  84. 92
    Ewwwww! says:

    4 people, 1 cup.

  85. 93

    Increasing your sperm count…

    …the Labour way.

  86. 94
    Poets' Day says:

    sorry guys, I think I’ve just blown it…

  87. 96
    Pickled John says:

    Ed knew he had to suck but he just couldn’t help himself and blew hard. He made a great mess and wasted the drink.

    He’d done the same with the British economy when he was Treasury minister.

  88. 97
    himindoors says:

    Suck Squeeze Bang Balls!

  89. 98
    Freya the cat says:


  90. 99
    Rev Flowers says:

    Enough already, bloodsuckers!

  91. 100
    Nick says:

    We need this glass half empty- suck!

  92. 102
    Poets' Day says:

    Red Bull

  93. 103
    Check Facts First says:

    What do you think. I found this one nosing through Nigella`s “cook” book.

  94. 105
    HPDL says:

    Balls ready to explode after man sucks on shaft

  95. 107
    F. E. L. Latio, BA says:

    Mr Balls enjoying something I doubt he gets very often from the boyish Yvette.

  96. 109
    magnabill says:

    Strobe, tops up his tan with chums.

  97. 113

    Slow, slow, suck, suck, slow!

  98. 114
    bartfartbastard says:

    Whcih one of you bastards is blowing?

  99. 115
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Balls demonstrates one of the austerity measures labour would introduce if elected.

  100. 116
    squeezed middle says:

    Red Ed

  101. 121
    Hargaret Modge, Labour MP and Hypocritical serial long term aggressive Tax Avoider + expenses thief says:

    Those savage cuts continue to bite….

  102. 122
    Anonymous says:

    All get ready to spit … NOW!!!

  103. 123
    Association Of Men In White Coats says:

    Red Ball’s in group therapy for last ditch attempt to curb his psycotic outbursts.

    • 124
      Innocent Bystander says:

      I always though he was just a sad bully boy but I do believe that he is quite mad!

  104. 126
    Rev Flowers says:

    Gonna make it difficult to suck up the coke

  105. 127
    DC AC says:

    It looks like a Redheaded Slut:

    It’s also called Ginger Bitch (popular in Wapping).

    Best enjoyed as a threesome (redhead-Ed-slut).

  106. 128
    Anonymous says:

    The first one to turn bright red is a sucker – bugger, that`s me.

  107. 129
    Cynic says:

    Girl on Left to Girl on right: “I am not sure about mine and yours look s right minger”

  108. 130
    Cynic says:

    Now children, just like economy, as soon as ED sucked, the glass inflated, and the harder and harder he sucked the faster it grew so they could suck and suck as long as they liked and the money never seemed to run out …..until ……….

  109. 131
    Cynic says:

    Balls trains in how to get a drink in an NHS ward under the last Labour Government (flowers optional)

  110. 132
    Cynic says:

    What a useless sucker that man is

  111. 133
    Anonymous says:

    Mandela dies following Balls speech. Seance sadly flatlines.

  112. 134
    Dr Sanctimonious Cnut Vaz says:

    Whats a matter with all those suckers, have they not heard about aids ?

    not a condom in sight !!

  113. 135
    EUSSR flatliningbut piggies still go to market says:

    Such a small trough

  114. 136
    pdf says:

    Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after going through a few of the articles I realized it’s new to me.
    Anyhow, I’m definitely delighted I discovered it and I’ll be
    bookmarking it and checking back frequently!

  115. 137
    masgramondou says:

    Suck, swallow
    Suck, swallow
    Suck, swallow

  116. 138
    Sesachili says:

    This Co-op crystal meth is crap!

  117. 139
    Labour wain don't vote for them says:

    Having demands to pay back the CO-Op bank Labours Xmas party and on arrival free drinks was a austere affair.

  118. 141
    Teri says:

    We’re all in it together.

  119. 142
    Unhand me you rogue says:

    Found when searching for “Two girls, one cup”. Sick.

  120. 143
    Ed's bile says:

    Partake…My cup runneth over.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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