December 6th, 2013

Another Godless Christmas Card From Dave

It’s that time again. Dave’s Christmas card for this year is out, guest starring Florence:

Once again a godless Christmas card with nothing remotely traditional or Christmassy in sight…

Via @mirrorjames

213 Comments

  1. 1
    WelshRacer says:

    Florence and the Machine.

  2. 2

    Does it matter if it isn’t religious?

    • 8
      Matt says:

      Clear evidence of the liberal conspiracy. Political correctness gone mad. Christian bashing.

      Are you knew to this blog?

      • 10

        Sorry, I’m not always very good at paranoid delusions. I must try to do better.

        • 16
          F**k the LibLabCon (Guido has censored my handle) says:

          It’s a ‘Christmas card’ the clue is in the name.

          • So presumably you spend December going around yelling at any Christmas-themed thing which doesn’t explicitly reference Christianity?

          • F**k the LibLabCon (Guido has censored my handle) says:

            “Christmas-themed thing”

            Nice, like that.

          • A Christmas Mystery says:

            Of course “Christmas” was originally “Christ Mass” and “Father Christmas” was a pagan deity dressed in green with a garland of holly(representing the male id)ivy(the female id)and mistletoe(eternal life) and amalgamated with “Saint Nicholas” or “Santa Nicolaus” which became shortened to “Santa Claus”.It was the americans in the late 19th Century who dressed him in red and gave him reindeeer and a sleigh.

            The early christian church which tried to stop people carousing, drinking and mass sexual immorality to celebrate the Winter Solstice on December 21 took over the festival of “Yule” combining it with the supposed date for the birth of Christ and shifting it to December 25th. The Victorians further added all the present stuff…xmas tree;cards;crackers and the americans that imported the Turkey as a sales promotion in the early 20th century replacing the traditional goose(before that it was of course the Boars Head)

            It was of course taken over by the God of Retail and Excess in the late 20th century and is no longer a religious festival for the majority so the continued secularisation of the day is not really surprising seeing as how modern christianity especially in the Church of England is all things to all men and Christmas ends up just being nothing other than an excuse for excess of drinking,eating and rampant consumerism

          • Dichard Rawkins says:

            And you celebrate our god Thor every Thursday?

            The clue is in the name. Asswipe.

          • belsen mendacious says:

            and MONday was named after money

            and MARS after the god of work rest & play

          • F**k the LibLabCon (Guido has censored my handle) says:

            No I don’t celebrate Thor every Thursday, do you?

          • Sally Bercow says:

            I am thore every day.

          • Cinna says:

            Io Saturnalia!

          • Rertrand Bussel says:

            @ Dichard Rawkins

            He may not worship Thor on Thor’s Day, nor Woden on Woden’s Day, nor Tiu on Tiu’s Day, nor Frigg on Frigg’s Day – but he probably doesn’t send a fucking Thor’s Day card which does not even mention fucking Thor – you complete and utter moronic fuckwit.

          • The Great British Public says:

            Christmas Card… The clues in the name.

            Otherwise it is an “End of year celebration card” which is was mussies celebrate.

            Cameron is a sad fcuker and a liar, godless and clearly hates his country.

      • 52
        JH348320948230903 says:

        Never seen anyone confuse ‘new’ with ‘knew’.

        The lose/loose thing is endemic, but that is a new one.

        • 84
          Evangelical bookshop says:

          In the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob – and he went into her (29:23). He new her no more.

          Genesis 29:23 (The Bad Spellers’ Bible)

    • 51
      Dopey post watch says:

      Well since it is a religious festival it might just be relevant. Fucking idiot !

      • 71
        The Real World says:

        Nobody cares about the rantings of Christians at Christmas. You have 364 days in the year to show how much better you are than us heathens and all you do is demand prohibitions and f*ck little kids.

        • 180
          elpful arry says:

          Don’t be a cΰnt all your life.

          If you’re not a christian then don’t send a fucking christmas card.

          If you’re not a moz then don’t send a fucking moz card.

          It’s simple enough even a cΰnt like you should be able to follow it.

        • 188
          Jabba Le Chat says:

          Lolz…

      • 72
        Lord of the Pagans says:

        I think you’ll find it’s based on Pagan rituals.

        The nearest Jesus ever got to a Christmas tree was being nailed up on some wood.

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    Just as Climate change is a myth, so is God.

    • 14
      F**k the LibLabCon (Guido has censored my handle) says:

      Christmas?

    • 33
      God says:

      I resent that.

      And anyway, if you TRULY believed that why on earth are you wasting time typing on this blog communicating with other bags of blood for no good reason? Go out and enjoy some hedonistic, absolute morality free hedonism. It’s Friday after all.

    • 60
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Oi – watch it ‘Mother Nature’ rules this gaff.

      • 75
        Blowing Rentboys says:

        I thought it was ruled by closet homos, modbots and paranoid joo watchers like you.

        • 146
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Ahh di dums – thanks for your pitiful comment anyway.

        • 181
          Blowing Whistles says:

          You are the twat Tatchell from that pathetic charity Stonewall – F Off you militant politicised homosexual faggot.

          • Blowing Rentboys says:

            I’d rather be someone like Tatchel who puts his neck on the line for what he believes in, than a sad keyboard fantasist who spends all day online pretending to bring down the legal establishment, when in reality you couldn’t bring down a whore’s panties with a £50 note. You are a joke and you know it.

    • 164
      Django says:

      Look out the token pagan/atheist is back!

  4. 5
    Exiled Brummie says:

    When will Cameron come out?

  5. 6
    De Mad Hoor says:

    A Common Purpose inspired holiday greeting more like.

  6. 7
    Jesus Christ says:

    I’m for life, not just for Christmas

    • 19
    • 49
      Hugh Janus says:

      +1

      According to the wretched BBC – and Toady in particular – Saint Nelson “taught the world about forgiveness”. I think he was beaten by someone else on that score, and a good 2000 years earlier. The BBC is so far up its own arse on this subject, the wailing and gnashing of teeth was already exceedingly tiresome by 6:45 this morning. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe we had some of the worst storms in 60 years in the north and east last night, with enormous damage and disruption, well over 130,000 homes disconnected, homes and businesses flooded out and general mayhem for the poor sods caught up in it all. Not according to R4, however. We all have to pay wall-to-wall homage to a Mr N Mandela, whether you want to or not.

      Thank goodness for the off switch.

      • 58
        Let the civil war begin says:

        I trend off the today programme after they broadcast a group of men wanking each other to a frenzy over their reminiscences of Mandela.

        • 63
          Liebours friends at the BBC - All the staff!! says:

          All with faux concerned emotionally drained voices FFS! A good day to bury Balls!

      • 82
        ANC terrorism victim says:

        I forgive him.

      • 106
        Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

        No C4 News or Newsnight tonight for me.

      • 165
        Django now its my turn! says:

        Im with you 100%… In order to upset the lefty/atheist/pagan trolls that like to have a cheap shot at the deceased of the Right. Can I simply say that following the sad news yesterday, Unless Ben are now auditioning for new models to promote their range of rice products…

  7. 9
    Wanda Ringhands says:

    Merry Winterval to one and all!

  8. 11
    The Mentor from What the Butler Saw Sea says:

    I like the way Larry the Cat upstaged Camerons Mandela tribute outside Number 10 . All eyes on cat walking back to front door of No 10; and why did Cameron need the huge lecturn to read a few simple lines…

  9. 12
    Cammo says:

    We must be very careful not to offend the new Britons who have many religions which we shall always observe because our religion is now over. There is no room for Christians, try elsewhere. I am so modern.

  10. 13
    Diane Fartbott says:

    I don’t really care what you call it as long as I get to eat lots of turkeys and puddings.

  11. 15
    Channel 4 Musl!ms says:

    You`re getting the message, finally.

  12. 20
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    How can you have a card with God on it when no one knows what God looks like.

    • 36
      Quis custodiet says:

      Why should the card have an image of an imaginary deity anyway? This annual fuss is a load of shite

      • 50
        Jesus says:

        Hold on, it’s Christmas. It is about “Christ”. It is generally accepted by historians that I actually existed.

        The new testament is based on my life. Perhaps it is somewhat exaggerated, but it is generally accepted as a historical document.

        Even if you take the metaphysical out of the New Testament you are left with a number of philosophies that are quite positive, rather similar to Buddhist and Greek thinking.

        I would have said it was worth celebrating for that alone.

        And you more or less know what I looked like – a newborn baby boy of middle-eastern appearance.

    • 56

      Excuse me! Man made God in his own image.

      Looks nothing like a cat. :-(

      • 74
        The Archbishop says:

        As someone pointed out to me once, God doesn’t have a willy. What would he need one for?

        It is generally accepted that “in his own image” means “with intellect and free will” i.e. unlike the other animals, who are doomed to carry on doing the same old. Then Genesis goes on to tell an allegory of how mankind promptly used free-will to go and do bad stuff, thus learning shame in the process.

        And that’s how we ended up here.

      • 76
        Blowing Whistles says:

        It’s Gold, Oil and Diamonds ffs get with the trick.

        • 130
          Build more Mosque's on School playing fields says:

          Tricks? I prefer the strongest card of them all, the ‘Ace of Spades’ it beats the rest hands down.

      • 103
        DOG says:

        woof!!

  13. 21
    Cynic says:

    i OBJECT

    For some of HE is the MESSIAH

  14. 22
    Larry the cat says:

    He really is a miserable bastard.

  15. 23
    cheche says:

    Just goes to show that the BBC doesn’t do north

  16. 24
    Eternal Socialism What A Nightmare says:

    What do you expect from the lefty wet boy “Chinese” Dave.

  17. 25
    Kebab Time says:

    Happy Holidays!

  18. 28
    A Concerned Voter says:

    Dave not wearing well round the gills. Even in black and white you see the sag of the jowls and the heightened flush. Looks like a Potter House Blue candidate he needs lay off the rich food and the booze by the look of him. Man from his class should be setting an example. Anthony Eden had the same suit measurements all his adult life.

    • 40
      I hate fat people, especially that gigantic bastard who sat next to me on plane w/seatbelt extender says:

      So do I. Shirt large/15″, trousers 32/21. BMI 22.5 at the moment (varies according to toilet activity). Currently doing 5:2 diet to get it down to 21.75.

      • 43
        I hate fat people, especially that gigantic bastard who sat next to me on plane w/seatbelt extender says:

        FFS. 32/31. I’m not Berkow.

      • 67
        Lets bring this smug c unt down to size says:

        Pity your an ugly bastard with bad breat caused by your fag habit , odious personality and no wife who left you years ago. Apart from that its good your collar size has remained constant.

  19. 29
    Kebab Time says:

    Happy Holidays all!

    • 45
      F**k the LibLabCon (Guido has censored my handle) says:

      A Merry Christmas to you too 8illy, hope you get your stocking filled.

  20. 32
    A Mystery says:

    You are obviously labouring under the mistaken idea that the UK is actually a christian country

    • 80
      Blowing Whistles says:

      … and even a democracy.

      • 95
        Quiet Bat Person says:

        …or even a country with it’s own borders.

        • 170
          Don't misuse apostrophes says:

          *its, not it’s

          • The Great British Public says:

            Less of the country please, we’re a “member” of the European Union, it’s illegal to talk about countries. They are banned.

          • Dork from Ork says:

            F’u’c’k of C’u’n’t and stick your fowl ^%$£@!*()_+ apostrophes up yer rear passage old chap.

          • The real Great British Public says:

            Fuck you, Barroso, take your EU and lies propaganda and stuff them where the sun doesn’t shine.

    • 92
      HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

      We have since learnt some sense, no longer taken in by pederast priests and lunatic maniacs spouting medieval superstition.

      • 145
        Jesus says:

        It really isn’t my fault that some kiddie fiddlers like to pretend they are Christians. I’m constantly amazed at the depths some humans will stoop to.

        I would point out that hurting children in anyway does get you an express ticket to hell. I made that quite clear.

  21. 47
    Newbie says:

    So stick Thor or Zeus on one, they’re as real.

  22. 48
    Border Terrier says:

    Sam is a national treasure ( apologies to Victoria Wood).

  23. 64
    Selohesra says:

    Has he favouritised one of his kids to be in the card but not the other two – if so thats a bit mean

  24. 69
    Gaye Mann (Mrs) says:

    Put Florence up as the Buckingham candidate against Squeaker Bercow

  25. 87
    Mornington Crescent says:

    I’m only surprised he hasn’t used a pic of him with the Lord G0d Mandela. Either that or two men at the altar in dresses.

    I wonder if he puts one of those nauseating round robin ‘what we did this year’ letters in, too?

  26. 91
    POLITICIANS making you work longer , so they don't have to says:

    Why would God want anything to do with this moral less twat ?

  27. 93
    BBC says:

    OMG, the Daily Mail has taken St NELSON MANDELA of their online front page and is now reporting on Britain’s worst storm surge for SIXTY years! How dare they break ranks and disrespect the memory of the anointed one!

    This will not stand.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk

  28. 94
    Keith Vazz says:

    How dare he smile with Mandella not cold in his grave :-((

  29. 108
    MB. says:

    It’s a lot better than Alex Salmond’s Christmas Card.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-25217308

  30. 120
    Don't care says:

    Anyone else not care?

  31. 125
    Ballox Economics says:

    It is still a nice card though! But yeah it is not very Christmassy. Perhaps a christmas tree in the background may have made it more festive!

    • 132
      Universal Hiss says:

      Really? How very naff sending a photo card of oneself & truncated family.

      Cool people don’t send cards. At all.

  32. 133
    Farage doppelganger says:

    • 135
      Farage doppelganger says:

      more to the point and at least it’s reasonably seasonal

      not like the puke bucket wrenching PR spin photo they sent

  33. 134
    broderick crawford says:

    MEANWHILE …..

    WHILST EVERYONE IS THEORISING ABOUT MANDELLO MANDOBBIE MADIBIA , CHRISTMAS, ED BALLS DISAPPEARANCE ETC …..

    THE BULGARS AND THE ROMAS ARE MASSING AT CALAIS AS WE SPEAK
    PREPARING AN INVASION FORCE TO ESTABLISH A BRIDGEHEAD AT DOVER UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS ON THE MORNING OF JAN FIRST AND FROM THERE THE COLONISATION OF THE SOUTHERN ENGLISH BENEFITS SYSTEM

    THIS IS A JOB FOR NO LESS THAN LAURENCE OLIVIER , MICHAEL CAINE AND THE BRITISH BULLDOG…

  34. 137
    Farage doppelganger says:

    • 140
      Farage doppelganger says:

      I wonder why i am not on daves christmas card (opps sorry mustn’t use a christian theme, might upset the minorities) Seasonal greeting card list ?

  35. 139
    Aung San Suu Kyi says:

    What a complete and utter bastard Nelson Mendela was. I’m a true hero. I got put in prison for no reason at all. I didn’t go around threatening to blow innocent people up.

    If they make that fraud a Saint I want to be made an uber-Saint.

  36. 144
    Oi, hand her back says:

    The kid looks like Maddie

  37. 149
    Fed up with the endless nonsense says:

    Stop Press 1749 hours: Mandela still dead.

  38. 152
    Blind_leading_the_blind says:

    Given this website’s track record, surprised there wasn’t a complaint that there was no menorah in the background

  39. 154
    Universal Hiss says:

    Really,how good is this?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-25217308

    Compare & contrast.

  40. 159
    marcmarc says:

    Perhaps he believes he is God.

  41. 161
    Penfold says:

    Another Marxist-Leninist and godless scum………

  42. 162
    • 197
      The hundred and second dalmatian says:

      Battersea dogs’ home wouldn’t host the Mock Conservatives then ?

      Can’t say I blame them.

  43. 167
    Straight Forward says:

    It is perfect in its simplicity and straight forwardness unlike the vomit inducing Miliband xmas card that was forced upon us last year.
    I really like it!

  44. 175
    Jethro says:

    …it’s Cameron in black and white: with any luck, next year we’ll have the silent Cameron.

  45. 177
    Auntie Flo' says:

    Dave has a God alright, Guido, shame it’s called money

  46. 182
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Not long until wishy-washy iDave the Eurotw*t is removed,

  47. 198
    Welcome to EUtopia, you wont need a brain says:

    Dont they look happy in that photo? Meanwhile an innocent British army soldier is starting a life sentence in prison with common criminals for putting a mortally wounded terrorist out of his misery. Have a happy Christmas all you treacherous liblabcon traitors while the men and women you sent to rot in a useless quagmire war do your dirty work. Aint life grand for some? The politicians and their client stooges who can kill NHS patients with impunity, can steal public monies and simply say sorry and get away with it.

    • 200
      Sniper says:

      Yes, somebody who knows how needs to get a petition going to get that lad out. Ten fucking years for offing somebody who not 25 seconds earlier had been trying to cut his head off?

      What the Fuck are these brainless ahsols at the ministry of defence imbibing? Are they trying to incite mutinies in the ranks? If so, they will be among the first up against the wall.

      PS: Where did everybody who died BC go. Couldn’t have been heaven as they had never heard f it!

  48. 201
    POLITICIANS making you work longer , so they don't have to says:

    “Daddy can i go to the pub” ?

  49. 203
    A cheeky scouser says:

    Is this what Ronnie Reagan meant when he talked about “Godless Communists” ?

  50. 204
    Mr Jingles says:

    Gawd bless one and all mr Pickwick, and all who read this shite.

  51. 205
    Politically Faithless says:

    GOD is a D…

  52. 206
    DC AC says:

    But what about Tiny Tim, Dave?
    Burn his crutches in the fire, that will keep him warm.

  53. 208
    Anonymous says:

    Wishing dodgy dave a christmas he deserves.

  54. 209
    Anonymous says:

    Now now, you can’t expect this wankstain to put anything chrismassy on his christmas card – that would involve having to actually show an opinion on something, and it could lose some votes. The fact that he’s lost far more by being so lacking in any kind of spine is just hilarious.

  55. 210
    HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

    MUSLIMS MIGHT BE OFFENDED

  56. 212
    Ralph Millband from beyond the grave says:

    Lois from Family Guy gets every where


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