December 5th, 2013

Maggie’s Children Unimpressed With Autumn Statement
Burns: ‘We are Dying a Third More Slowly’

Speaking at a packed London fundraiser for the Margaret Thatcher Centre last night, Maggie’s representative on earth, Conor Burns, cut through the euphoria being felt in some parts of the Conservative Party this morning:

“I am convinced if Margaret Thatcher were still here today, if she and Keith Joseph and all the others that set off on that radical revolution from 1979, if they were here today, they would be thinking that their principles – those of personal responsibility, freedom under the rule of law, taxation that incentivises people to do better –  could equally be applied to the challenges of the next thirty years as they so successfully applied them to the challenges of the thirty years after they set off.

Tomorrow we will have the Autumn Statement, the government will congratulate itself on some if it’s successes. we will be told we maybe borrowing maybe ten billion fewer than we thought we might be borrowing a year ago. We will be told the deficit is down by a third, it’s all good news but it’s like going to the doctor and the doctor telling you that you are dying a third more slowly. This is not exactly a universal cause for celebration.”

Somehow Guido can’t picture Osborne using that particular analogy this morning.


  1. 1
    man on the street says:

    Perhaps if they got the multi national corporations to pay their fair share of tax, then we wouldn’t have this problem.

  2. 2
    Border Terrier says:

    What was the attraction?

  3. 3
    Tom Daley's nice little, tight little arsehole says:

    “it’s successes”

    Why should anyone pay attention to this illiterate cvnt?

  4. 4
    dai broke says:

    george fiddles while conor burns

  5. 5
    Great Granddad says:

    Dying last words, perhaps.

  6. 6
    dai broke says:

    dog – lampost

  7. 7
    Joe says:

    How windy is it?

  8. 8
    Yes says:

    Lucian Berger is a giggling little girl who txts her bf all the time.

  9. 9
    Theresa the Ambitious says:

    Don’t mention the T word people might think we are nasty

  10. 10
    Margaret Eve Oppenheimer says:

    I paid only a tiny, tiny amount of tax.

  11. 11
    Wait - what! says:

    He’s right though.

  12. 12
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “…OF ITS successes. We will be told we MAY BE borrowing…”

  13. 13
    Johnny Fartpants says:


  14. 14
    Tøm Wãtsøn says:

    I completely agree.


    What !!! Oh fuck not again.

  15. 15
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Frankie Hollywood H ollande – he’s my bestest mate.

  16. 16
    Nonn Mouse says:

    Burns is spot on though. We’ve still got a huge deficit and the debt still goes on rising…

  17. 17
    Historian of our times says:

    Conor is spot on

    There is something very strange about what is going on

    Massive debt increases PLUS QE

    No sign on how or when to “taper” (if ever)

    Banks still out of control and the Rule of Law broken

    Tidal waves of immigrants

    A deeply corrupted political system which makes “reform” well nigh impossible

    Not a pretty sight

    PS Same applies to the US

  18. 18
    EU Watch says:

    Perhaps if the UK exited from the EU rules which allow multinationals trading in the UK to domicile in Luxembourg / !reland and hence avoid paying the tax due to UK on their UK trading activities, then perhaps the problem would be fixed.

    The corporations are at a disadvantage if they decide not to continue trading in the UK, and at present the lion share of tax revenue is being deprived from the UK government and its people.

  19. 19
    Mr Logic says:

    You have a point. But in the meantime, knowing we do not have this income stream yet in our grasp, why do we go on spending money we do not hav on things we do not need to spend it on?

  20. 20

    Have you found out of many immigrants came crawling into the U.K. yesterday/last week / month / year?

    No? I asked you last week, since when you and Dave have done fuck all to find out, let alone control the influx.


  21. 21
    Causal Observer 4 says:

    The EU is the worst offender across the board. It is a corrupting influence in the world that should be removed.

  22. 22
    Gok Wan says:

    Tank tops?

  23. 23
    0/10. See me after school. says:

    “maybe” is not the same as “may be”. Educated under Labour?

    And as for “it’s”…

  24. 24
    Toxic Labour for spongers, parasites, immigrants and criminals says:

    This is still all down to “Labour’s Debt” or has everyone forgot this? It was Labour that wrecked the UK finances, it was Labour that gave all the money to spongers and parasites, it was Labour that borrowed like there was no tomorrow. Don’t forget that Labour have trashed the UK 3 times now.

  25. 25
    Sideways says:

    From this angle it proves he’s a cu-nt

  26. 26
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Opened the door this morning and it nearly blew me bollocks off.

  27. 27
    Tosser Dave says:

    Whatever. We’ve done the really important thing — legalised bumsex marriage.

  28. 28
    Causal Observer 4 says:

    They are only spending it to keep afloat the current dross that is employed in the public sector.

    Investment and maintaining infrastructure has been cut which is beginning to be noticeable now.

    The Government fears the civil servants and public sector unions which is why they are continuing to get into debt.

  29. 29
    Comet Cameron says:

    I was more impressed by subsidising the Indian mission to Mars

  30. 30
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Ozzy up soon, lets see what he’s got.

  31. 31
    Mitch says:

    So, obviously Conor will vote against the statement?

  32. 32
    The Public says:

    There is nothng to fear from the civil servants. Sack a quarter of them and nothing bad will happen, I promise. Most of what they do is a waste of time.

  33. 33
    Tom Daley's nice little, tight little arsehole says:


    thank you so, so much.

    And thanks to everyone who congratulated me on my bravery in “coming out”.

  34. 34
    Five Score years and 16.66666666 says:

    I think most people would think living two thirds longer is a pretty good cure actually

  35. 35
    Observer says:

    “Osborne hails economic success”

    Sorry, it’s not clear to me how a slight reduction in the rate at which the nation’s debt continues to increase can be classed as a success.

  36. 36
    The Public says:

    Giving away borrowed money as foreign aid does not even keep the current dross that is employed in the public sector afloat.

  37. 37
    Dustin Lance Black says:


    thank you so, so much too.

    And thanks to everyone who congratulated me on my bravery in “coming in” Tom Daley’s nice little, tight little arsehole.

  38. 38
    And such a sweet little wife too says:

    My money’s on a couple of lines and a faceful of black minge.

  39. 39

    Yep. Labour fucked the economy as usual.

    But what has the cnut Dave done? Doubled the National Debt left by Gorgon, and still running a Deficit of circa £100bn per annum.

    Dave’s had 3.5 years now. But has made trivial reductions to public expenditure.

    Bugger the illusion of possible growth. Balance the books NOW.

  40. 40
    There are no closets says:

    Coming out of what?

    No-one in the entire world was surprised by your narcissistic announcement.

  41. 41
    The public says:


  42. 42
    Fishy says:

    Balls is looking miserable in the House this morning.

    Anything upset him?

  43. 43
    Which is why I Owen hate it. says:

  44. 44
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  45. 45
    George Osborne says:

    The debt figures are much better if you exclude debt. Strange that..

  46. 46
    Owen Jones says:

    Put me in pow, err, charge and it would be different.

  47. 47
    democracy in evolution says:

    with my birth I swore allegiance to the crown and what it represents, I swore it under my breath and nobody heard me but never the less like millions of others I contain the society and I will not let it die.

  48. 48
    Marcus Licinius Crassus says:

    And I understand you’ve let the scum of the Balkans in for free bread and circuses? You really do need to get a grip would you like me to show you how?

  49. 49
    Common Sense says:

    This country needs a revolution to rid itself of those, judges and MPs in particular, seeking to bring us all down.

  50. 50
    Dave in a Relationship with a Guy says:

    India wants to put a gay man on the moon and I for one will support it. It is the right thing to do.

  51. 51
    C.O.Jones says:

    Leaving the EU will save us over £220 BN over the next 10 years.

  52. 52
    The British media are cunts says:

    It took Nikki Campbell 5 minutes this morning to spew out his latest anti Fachur crap. Talking about how he marched when she stopped bone idle ducks like him signing on in the summer from university. Yes you jock twat you should have had a tucking job like I did.

    Funny how this jock cuunt always manages to ignore the failures of his friend Brown but digs up Fachur every day.

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    Half of gays are in angry denial. Your obsession with Tom Daley provides a strong clue you’re one of them.

  54. 54
    Noise says:

    What’s going on off Camera? They all seem to be looking toward the speaker end.

  55. 55
    Jack "Black" Droney says:

    Yep thanks Dave….if not for you I wouldn’t be able to come out with my Big Black Chickens.

  56. 56
    Not the BBC says:

    I think you’ll find he’s a neutral compared to the rest of his brothers at the BBC Comrade.
    Rejoice, there will be a bumper turnip harvest this year!

  57. 57
    Wait - what! says:

    Gordon fell off his rocking horse?

  58. 58
    The public says:

    Will Osborne make an announcement to make MPs work longer before they receive their pensions?

    Thought not.

  59. 59
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    What about Obama? Now he’s saying that equality is more important than getting America out of trillions of debt. I presume that’s ‘cos he’s given up on it. No doubt this is what the British Labour Party will be spouting from now on.

  60. 60
    Tooting Tony, seriously worried says:

    I am calling on you all for help

    The Great Digger is after me

    Nowhere to hide and he says he wants me hanging by my balls

    After Mandy had my foreskin removed, as you all know, why are people still going after my privates?

    I simply cannot understand it after all the self-servive I have done to Britain

    Is there no gratitude in this world?

  61. 61
    The public says:

    The country would be better off if we excluded you…

  62. 62
    democracy in evolution says:

    did he ever find out who his dad is ?

  63. 63
    George Osborne says:

    Free school meals for the children of millionaires??

  64. 64
    Isaac Hunt says:

    Dromey – Black cock

  65. 65
    Banned says:

    Good. Millionaires pay more tax and deserve some reward for their productivity.

  66. 66
    John Tandy says:

    My sentiments exactly….

  67. 67
    Wait - what! says:

    Free school meals is an oxymoron.

  68. 68
    Ric Holden,CCHQ says:

    Worth noting today that the average age of the Tory Party membership is 68.

    Vote Conservative !

    Hear ! Hear !

  69. 69
    Wait - what! says:

    The reward should be to keep more of their money to spend how the hell they want, not to have a state redistribute what’s left after the state takes its share.
    The same goes for anybody earning money, regardless of amount.

  70. 70
    P l e b says:

    It is despite Tory policies that any economic improvement has occurred, not because of them. Any increase in spending by the public to heat the economy is likely to be on the back of another house price bubble fuelling increases in personal debt.

  71. 71
    George Osborne says:

    They already get a reward – the money they make from their productivity. They can afford to pay for school meals and should do so, thus making money available for other things, such as paying off the debt.

  72. 72
    Doggie Fashion says:

    Am I the only one to be horrified by Conor Burns’s incorrect use of the apostrophe, ‘it’s’ should be ‘its’, Mrs T must be spinning her grave.

  73. 73
    nellnewman says:

    What does he know about hard work? Paying off for who? Corporations, millionaires and big business? People are dying from this governments policies. Inequality, the basis of many of our woes is increasing. Pathetic

  74. 74
    Ragheads must die says:

    I’d like to volunteer to slowly torture these two murdering muzee scum currently being afforded the luxury of a trial. I’d cut off their balls and stick them in their mouths, followed by dipping their faces into a tub of acid.

  75. 75
    The British media are cunts says:

    Scrapping the BBC will save us over £22 BN over the next 10 years.

  76. 76
    P l e b says:

    Who’s doing the hard work? “Sweep of a pen – you lot get less. Ooh, I need a breather now..”

    Fuck off Osborne you contemptible prick.

  77. 77
    C.O.Jones says:

    Pity you were not around to give Gordon Brown some economic advice. Remember him, no more boom and bust Gordon?

  78. 78
    Jack Dromey says:

    Has her bf been circumcised?

  79. 79
    A Conservative says:

    I’m sorry, I can’t hear very well. Please would you speak louder?

  80. 80
    C.O.Jones says:

    He is just sorting Labours legacy out.

  81. 81
    Naughty Nev says:

    Me! And I hate the little Hunt

  82. 82
    I hate socialist cloggs says:

    Why doesn’t he just piss off back to Holland along with Clegg?

  83. 83
    P l e b says:

    I was around. My first name is Prudence. Didn’t I do well?

  84. 84
    The British media are cunts says:

    Would you want to own up to fathering a twat like Campbell

  85. 85
    P l e b says:

    This is complete bòllocks. The so-called “recovery” has been engineered by Osborne’s irresponsible “help to buy” scheme and other tricks. He will probably be able to keep it going until the General Election, but then there will be a catastrophic collapse (yes, again)

  86. 86
    JH348320948230903 says:

    They probably want to put ALL the gay men on the moon. Minus life support.

    Idiotic lefties would probably think it is all wonderful, after all we can’t criticise anything brown people want to do can we. That would be WACIST.

  87. 87
    Podiceps says:

    Judging by the stuff we were given when I was at school, ‘school meals’ is an oxymoron in itself.

  88. 88
    P l e b says:

    Doesn’t wash any more. They’ve had over three years now.

  89. 89
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    But Jones is subservient to marxist control of the state.

  90. 90
    P l e b says:

    So, that’s it then: austerity works; jobs will be plentiful; inflation will fall to 0/1%; all debts will have been paid off by 2044; the land of milk and honey is just round the corner.

    Growth, growth, and more growth. The great god Economy thanks you for your sacrifices. Please resume shopping endlessly. That is why you exist

  91. 91
    C.O.Jones says:

    Will take a decade to sort that mess out.

  92. 92
    Just askin says:

    Their own mouths, or would you make one swallow the others?

  93. 93
    That's the way to do it says:

    Hitler introduced a number of measures that pulled Germany out of the Great Depression before any other major industrial power.

    Firstly, an economic expert, President of the Reichsbank Hjalmar Schacht, was put in charge of the economy (none of the leading N’azis knew much about economics) as Minister of Economics. He decided to implement Keynesian economics on a massive scale.

    He thus began a large Public Works program to reduce unemployment. The main manifestation of this was the building of the autobahns, the German motorway network.Work on the autobahns was deliberately made labour intensive, with as few heavy machines used as possible, in order to prolong the construction time.This meant more jobs were provided over a longer period of time.

    Secondly, all materials needed for the Public Works program was ordered from German companies and factories, and not just the big corporations. Small and medium sized businesses, as well as big business, were given generous government contracts, enabling them to hire more workers to meet the orders, thus reducing unemployment even further.All German companies were also offered cheap government loans so they could modernize their machinery, shopfloors, and other equipment.Again, this provided more jobs as the companies ordered new machinery and equipment.

    As for agriculture, farmers were also offered cheap government loans to buy fertilizers, tractors, livestock and everything necessary to modernize their farms and increase agricultural production. Once again, these materials and manufactures were purchased from German companies, meaning more jobs for Germans.

  94. 94
    and says:

    James O’Brien on LBC is just as bad.

  95. 95
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Roll up roll up it’s Ed Balls, chief labour clown, live in the HOC replying to the autumn statement.

  96. 96
    Bercow says:

    What a little actor I am

  97. 97
    Bert Simpson says:

    Criminals used to rob banks and hold up stagecoaches. Now they govern whole countries and, with assistance from the Bilderberg Group, international finance and multinational corporations, they hold huge continents and populations to ransom. Democracy has become subservient to capital and the rich – who own no allegiance to any country, who speak no language except that of financial gain, who operate where the regulations are least and the profit the highest, and who are labelled by pliable governments as “wealth creators.”

    Until we learn that the “wealth creators” are sweaty men in overalls who stand at factory machines all day for low wages – not red-faced men in pin-striped suits in plush boardrooms who bellow into mobile phones – this extortion will continue. Wealth existed before banks, and indeed, before money itself

  98. 98
    Balls says:

    He’s good for a laugh at.

  99. 99
    hang on a min says:

    Is Balls head about to explode?

  100. 100
    yes ukip can says:

    Ed Balls has gone as red as a Len McCluskey.

  101. 101
    how about says:

    That’s too good for’em.

  102. 102
    Fishy says:

    Balls floundering…badly

  103. 103
    Chuka Time says:

  104. 104
    saddo says:

    Still not managed to get your own moniker then.

  105. 105
    Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

    Radical revolution from 1979? Well I don’t remember it.

    I do remember the revolution during the Boom Years (1997-2007) though.

  106. 106
    yes ukip can says:

    How can people shop endlessly when in the middle of a so-called cost of living crisis? Explain.

  107. 107
    Fishy says:

    And the little Marxist nodding like a donkey next to him.

    What a diminished lot they look

  108. 108
    ED BALLS says:



  109. 109
    funny colour says:

    Is Miliband wearing fake tan?

  110. 110
    heart attack says:

    Another Red Ed.

  111. 111
    Nuggy says:

    Great then George, if things are getting better you can ask your Dad’s firm to pay corporation tax which they haven’t since 2009. Are they crapping themselves to give the ‘good news’ because the Fed is about to pull it’s trousers up?. Hopefully those 400,.000 new jobs will be paid employment and not the new fashion for renting your time for free to get the unemployment count down?.

  112. 112

    We can’t wait to get those masters of financial control, the Labour stars, Edward Balls, Edward Miliband and, perhaps, with Gordon Brown helping out in the background again. These paragons of financial prudence will make the country strong. Look at their proud record. The country’s ratings will soar and everyone will be a multi-millionaire, except for Lord Ashcroft as we don’t like him.

    Are you ready to sing the Red Flag, P l e b?

  113. 113
    ED BALLS says:


    BALLS has gone Bright Red

    Great entertainment

  114. 114
    The Sleeper says:

    Milibrown is like the nodding dog on a cars parcel shelf.

  115. 115
    C.O.Jones says:

    Actually their annual take is £3.5 BN per annum so savings even greater.

  116. 116
    Axe The Telly Tax &Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Can’t be long before the headline “Ball’s Dropped by Miliband” or “Balls Sac(ked)” :-)

  117. 117

    Ten years is a wonderful run if you are creating a bubble. Now, remind me. What happens when the bubble bursts?

  118. 118
    Mitch says:

    Bercow is a disgrace and has no authority at all. He can’t say he’s “not bothered at all”.

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    it will take a generation to sort out. In that one comment you show what an idiot you really are and do not understand what depth of damage Labour did to us this time. Just like they did last time and just like they will do next time.

  120. 120
    Axe The Telly Tax &Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Ed Balls has gone from flat lining to fat lying as in he’s a fat lying c’unt :-)

  121. 121
    yes ukip can says:

    How can British people pay more in charity than any other country to causes like the Philippines disaster in the middle of a so-called cost of living crisis? Explain.

  122. 122
    M103 says:

    Wait till George pushes public borrowing to 100% of GDP, then he will be crapping it

  123. 123
    Axe The Telly Tax &Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    A Scanners moment hopefully.

  124. 124
    C.O.Jones says:

    Balls is not making sense, rhetoric and no substance, straight out of the Leftie Speak for Dummies.

  125. 125
    Tachybaptus says:

    Out of the emptiest vessels, comes the loudest noise. And boy is Osborne an empty vessel.

    The government is not on target, IDS is going to spend yet more money because the IT system at DWP is up the creek. Gove and Clegg are arguing as more kitchens needs to be build to provide free school meals for children, and no one in the treasury has a handle on who is spending what, let alone what the accruals amount (£) to

  126. 126
    Axe The Telly Tax &Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Wait ’till the IMF come knocking on the door of No. 11.

    Whichever party is in power then will be out of power forever :-)

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    I have just made a decent donation to the local food bank because there are so many working people in this part of Cornwall who are in dire need of food. Recently a young girl collapsed for lack of food, it turned out she had not eaten for 3 days. Welcome to TORY BRITAIN the seventh richest economy in the world

  128. 128
    Axe The Telly Tax &Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    She collapsed while playing World of Warcraft on her Playstation 4.

  129. 129
    yes ukip can says:

    And thanks to the last disastrous government one of most indebted countries in the world. And it will be the young of today who will be having to pay for the debts that Brown accumulated. As for the girl who allegedly hadn’t eaten in three days one can only surmise the parents had more than a little to do with that.

  130. 130
    yes ukip can says:

    Balls is not an empty vessel. He is full of shit.

  131. 131
    John Bellingham says:

    The trouble was that the Oeffa Bills and their later brother used to finance heavy industry reconstruction and thus re-armamnet–the MEFO bills were like quantitative easing. It was money pulled out of the air. When the time came to actually pay the piper the Germans had no option but to walk into neighbouring countries and nick their gold and other assets and suspend repayments under the excuse of the war.

  132. 132
    C.O.Jones says:

    If people want to spend their benefits on fags and booze then feel free to feed them. Why not make your next donation to the local sperm bank? Dysgenics needs a boost.

  133. 133
    Living in 98.221% white Merseyside says:

    We were the THIRD richest when that nice Mr Blair was in charge and the FOURTH largest economy!

  134. 134
    John Bellingham says:

    This is preposterous. While you cannot exactly live the high life on state benefits, the very suggestion that there is not enough money for food and a roof over one’s head is absolute rot. What there is not enough money for is 30 fags, 2 litres of strong cider, a trifecta down the betting shop and a couple of lotto scratch cards every day plus home delivered pizza AND shoes.

  135. 135
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    More like Red Balls.

  136. 136
    Nemesis says:

    The witch is dead for fuck’s sake. Stop digging her up!

  137. 137
    yes ukip can says:

    But not by the time Gordon Brown was kicked out of office.

  138. 138

    And a 42″ flat screen television.

  139. 139
    Observant says:

    Ball(s) kicked into touch.

  140. 140
    democracy in evolution says:

    solve issue of overcrowding problem, eat your parents

  141. 141
    THE GASMAN says:

    The country was trashed when Thatcher sold the family silver to her friends in the city

Seen Elsewhere

Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
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“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times
New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
UKIP Could Work With Dave If Price is Right | Douglas Carswell
Cops Catch Crims With B.O. Test | Techno Guido
Bashir’s “False Account” to His Own Lawyers | Times
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