December 4th, 2013

Tory Graph Spin Wizardry

Readers will remember how the LibDems love their creative graphs. Well judging by this effort released by the Tories, CCHQ have cottoned on to that little trick. Who knew there was such a difference between 28.8 million and 29.9 million?


Final proof that the LibDems are having an effect on the Tories in government.


  1. 1
    Dimmy Dave's Roma Apocalypse says:

    Enjoy it while it lasts, for in January..

    • 13
      Psyche the Dog says:

      AS you know G eedes it all depends on what base line value you take, you showed the ull bar graph you would bearly see the difference.

      • 73
        Spartacus says:

        no, no, no. unemployment is up three times as much as the price of eggs

        you can see that, shirley?

    • 20
      Al Gore says:

      Caught in the act. That’s inconvenient.

  2. 2
    Call me Dave says:

    Mine’s bigger than yours

  3. 3
    Nu Attack Dog says:

    Tractor Production up again comrades

    • 18
      Psyche the Dog says:

      It’s only the Christmas jobs, wait untill the sales have finished and they will all be back on the dole.

      • 29
        Weakling Dave and his open borders policy says:

        Rejoice and make merry!

        For in January I import unemployment.

        • 63
          Dave in a Relationship with a Guy says:

          Lots of scrummy Roma and Bulgarian guys, can’t wait to welcome them to LGBT Britain. Bum bum bum it’s so much fun!

  4. 4
    Jolly Hockey Sticks says:

    They’ve been learning from the UN Climate change brigade.

  5. 5
    Nothing Better To Do says:

    Who knew you could fiddle figures and have everyone believe them so easily.

    • 22
      Psyche the Dog says:

      Quite easy, most people just the bar graph a cursory glance and think, especially if they are rabid tory, these are figures to give the troops that will keep the plebs happy and one in the face to that Millipede chappie or whatever his name is.

  6. 6
    David Cameron, my future is behind me. says:

    I’m so glad Vaz didn’t ask about my love for the UK.

  7. 8
    Tuscan Tony says:

    It’s also meaningless unless you show the total number of potential people in work in 2010 and 2013; who knows, perhaps a blip of 2million net more people entered the work marketplace in that period in which case this is an unmitigated disaster.

  8. 9
    Ed Miliband says:

    Ith a thmear

  9. 10
    Steve Miliband says:


  10. 11
    Gordon Brown says:

    It’s a 0% rise

  11. 12
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Same trick as used in Guido’s Misery Index.

  12. 15
    David Cameron, my future is behind me. says:

    It seems that my enforced narrative of gayness in the MSM and law is not having the desired effect of population control. Not enough people are wanting to ‘drill for marmite’, even after I forced the food conglomerates to introduce more oestrogen into our daily food than is legal.

    So today I am hoping that a Judge in the USA decrees that a Chimpanzee is ‘a legal person’ that will then open the floodgates and before you know it a man will be able to marry a Monkey in a Church :)

    We simply have to stop our lower orders banging out sprogs so that their is room for all our brethren from overseas. No wonder Mohammed is the most popular boys name in the UK and long shall it continue, although I want Constantin to be the second most popular.

  13. 19
    Gawd Help Us says:

    Having an effect? The LibDems have been calling all the shots and running the show for the last three years and Dave loves it.

    • 28
      Psyche the Dog says:

      Well most of the time Dave isn’t there anyway, he is now getting all his free jollies travel promoting British business plus of course all his normal holidays.

    • 31
      M103 says:

      Can someone please ask Nick if he and his party are ready to go back to their constituencies and prepare for gardening?

    • 48
      President of China says:

      When Mistel Camelon found out how many Loma are going to Gleat Blitain in Janualy he clapped himself.

  14. 25
    OT. says:

    Little wonder Daley’s family and friends advised him not to come out as “Gay”. He has fallen for a man old enough to be his father, mature in years, able to exert influence over his young mind and replace the recent loss of his real father.

    In recent years the “Homosexual” pressure groups have resorted to some very underhand and questionable tactics into forcing prominent people to come out. I do hope Daley is not also one of their victims and has been forced into choosing a lifestyle that he is not certain about at such a young and vulnerable age.

    • 26
      Q says:

      A Stockholm syndrome for Gayers?

      • 34
        OT. says:

        Yes. I never thought of that but quite a good way of looking at it. No doubt the gay brigade would be up in arms about such a comparison but it is not wide of the mark.

        • 65
          (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

          The gay scene was ever so.
          If you cant charm the nubile young fuc*ers into believing they are woofters simply pay them as rent boys.
          Same outcome, more runed lives and confused desperately unhappy young people but lots of predatory pervs getting their jollies!

  15. 27

    They both learned that from Guido who has done it without shame in bygone times. :-)

  16. 33

    A million more people in work doing what ?
    Stacking Chinese computers in warehouses, unpacking Japanese cameras, or picking brussels sprouts in East Anglia.

  17. 35
    M103 says:

    PMQ’s should be interesting. Harriet Harman normally wipes the floor with Clegg

  18. 37
    Romanian Goat says:

    My master and his many friends from the village often chuckle about there are more Romanian passports in Moldova than in Romania.

    See you soon!

  19. 38
    Tory Voter says:

    And we wonder why politics and politicians are in such bad odour.

  20. 39
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    This is the lasting legacy that the Tories and Fib Dems have left to this country. Tax cuts to the rich and poverty for those at the bottom. I found this part most interesting……….

    “Despite mounting evidence for a growing food poverty crisis in the UK, ministers maintain there is “no robust evidence” of a link between sweeping welfare reforms and a rise in the use of food banks. However, publication of research into the phenomenon, commissioned by the Government itself, has been delayed, amid speculation that the findings may prove embarrassing for ministers”

    Are they looking out how they can, yet again, fiddle the figures. Or will they seek to redefine “Food poverty”, like they are going to do with fuel poverty??

    • 46
      Q says:

      ‘Tax cuts to the rich’

      Can you tell me which tax cuts to the rich please, I’m genuinely interested.

    • 53

      Hi Mousse!

      A serious question for you. How come so many people in the UK are obese if there is, as you say, food poverty?

      People are obligingly dying off from heart attacks and strokes, which are more symptoms more of prosperity than poverty. I say obligingly because they are then no longer a drain on the state.

      If the poorest person in the UK was a millionaire, you would still be banging on in this way, wouldn’t you? :-)

      • 60
        An awkward bastard says:

        It is a toss uo between Greggs’ and their pasties and Tescos’s own discount range.

        I bet you haven’t got a Clubcard!

        • 68

          No data mining happening here whilst I can avoid it.

          • Clubcard Spokeperson says:

            What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you… all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars… while you could only dream of getting out… getting anywhere… getting all the way to the FBI.

        • 71
          (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

          Food banks will always be used by the greedy and feckless, thus skewing the reality.

  21. 40
    Hansard writer says:

    Lies damned lies and statistics

  22. 43
    Jackie Chan says:

    O/T Guido

    How about this for quote of the day

    “One (Chinese) government official said: “David Cameron once asked how many tweets make a twat. How many Weibos make a wanker?”

  23. 44
    DAVE'S FIRE SALE theres no money left says:

    Nice to see Nigella swanning into court this morning
    one question , Who pays for the nine coppers who escorted her in ?
    I mean her husband Andrew Sachs must have made a few bob from faulty towers

    • 49
      An awkward bastard says:


      This is what happens when you employ a couple of Italian au pairs.

    • 50
      The 9 Coppers says:

      We don’t care who is paying. Perks of the job and escorting Nigella beats fighting crime any day. We hope the boss does not decide to ask them to pay for their own private security. Long may the trial last.

      • 55
        DAVE'S FIRE SALE theres no money left says:

        Fuck what she’s been shoving up her nose , i’m more intrested in whats been entering her other orifices

  24. 45
    unemployed and skint in Birtley Colliery says:

    There was one new job in my Job Centre this morning:

    SECURITY GUARD p/t 18hrs weekends £9.56 per hr plus uniform

  25. 47

    No doubt mostly fucking immigrants

  26. 52
    DAVE'S FIRE SALE theres no money left says:

    Women still not allowed to fight on the front line in our military
    W T F ? If you can’t stand the heat , get out the fuckin kitchen !
    We are making thousands of able bodied men redundant (Who can go on the front line ) and saving and paying for thousands of useless pen pushing blotter jotters jobs for women who will NEVER be allowed defend this country

    What a waste of taxpayers money

  27. 56
    An awkward bastard says:

    Dominic Grieve QC says he “wants to help” with his advice.

    Well thank you and good bye Mr Grieve.

  28. 64
    jeremyp99 says:

    Ah. It’s a Hockey Stick! They are catching up with the Climate Jihadis as well

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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