December 3rd, 2013

WATCH: Boris Fails IQ Test

Well this morning’s Call Boris on LBC could hardly have gone any worse. Who could have predicted that Nick Ferrari would ambush him with an IQ test? Not the Mayor, it seems:

He didn’t fare much better on tube ticket prices either:

No one could have seen that coming.


  1. 1
    • 9
      Paniagua V5 says:

      There you go again, derailleur-ing proceedings

    • 74
      Londoner says:

      Four quid fifty!

      What a rip-off.

      • 95
        Big Killick says:

        Why should he know what a tube ticket costs? Who buys a ticket? That’s why we (Boris and I) have Oyster cards.

        • 132
          broderick crawford says:

          So boris says this only proves what an incredibly fantastic job the myriad officials manning ticket ioffices do day in day out with that wealth of knowledge at their immediate beck and call garnered over decades of service .

          Which is why he is retraining them all to be platform walkers !

          Mind you I do agree with him on one thing ,,,, banning all cash transactions on public transport by next year .

          I will whoop with delight when some mental inert who is late for work in the rush hour is refused entry because he forgot to replenish his oyster card and cash is no longer an option Whoopee!

          Not to mention the poor bug eyed Roma newbies who don t know an oyster from a sea horse sayingg “” Ma ehiii we gotahh cash money from white slavery deal lastahh nightahh why you no’ Acceptah ??”

      • 97
        PC Dixon says:

        I don’t live in London, thank goodness or anywhere near but to listen to that Ferrari guy prating on about tube fares is just dumb.

        • 120
          Just Saying. says:

          “I know this and I don’t use the system”
          So would I if it was written down in front of me.
          As for the IQ test it was painful. Wish ALL those people being questioned by such subjects would only answer IF they could also ask a question of their interrogator that was recorded. Would shut the smart Alec’s up.
          Having said this Boris’s performance was bumbling.

          • Once a hard on, always a hard on says:

            Should have asked what his best fuck had been this year.

            Bet he’d have known that.

        • 133
          broderick crawford says:

          Ferrari and Jonson

          DUNB AND DUMBER .

  2. 2
    Bob Crow says:

    Duz ee know howh mucht it iz for a Carncil Arse?

  3. 3
    Oy Vey,Oy Vey,Oy Vey says:

    Starting out on a downward slippery slope yet again !

    GOLD 1,219.20 -3.10 -0.25%

  4. 4
    The imploding Boris says:

    O Pedicabo

    • 6
      Mitch says:

      Yes, he asked for that. So, the man of the people doesn’t know much about the real world. How surprising..

      • 24
        Silas Marner says:

        He is a politician, of course – and therefore interlectually challenged.

      • 81
        It's Grim Up North and Indeed Every Where says:

        None of them do and don’t want to. You are just the unpleasant part of the job that has to be got over before the good bits like toughing and letting your ego rip can happen. There has never been a bigger gap between ruled and rulers in terms of wealth and credibility.
        Still most of the electorate won’t speak English by mid century when Boris’s vision of the new Super Nation of 80 million becomes a reality. He even hopes to be around in 2050-60 I hope he is to see the shit hole his type have lead us into, the fat wind bag.

    • 78
      My coat of arms says:

      Boris would be excellent as new Chairman of the Coop

      The hedgies love him as well

      The whole fooking Coop movement would collapse within a year

    • 134
      broderick crawford says:


      you needahh un pedicabo mister jonson ?

      be at the corner of frith street and old compton street at 1.30 am tomorrow morning and me or my friends will give you ride to angel at special price …. to you five hundred pounds one way . of course isahh more if traffic is heavy and my horsahh needs to rest .

  5. 5
    Alan Johnson says:

    He should be up to date on all the figures etc that he has responsibility for.

    You would never catch me being quite so naive (again)

  6. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Is that a bald patch I am seeing?

    • 16
      Donald Trump, Famed Developer Of Golf Courses In Scotland, says:

      I can give him pointers on how to disguise it, if he’d like me to.

      • 38
        Lord >O'Sugar Sugar> says:

        Yes we know Donny…

        You transplant your pubes to the most visible part of your head

        And then claim victory in the face of great adversity

  7. 8
    Spineless Dave says:

    Happy Winterval Everybody

  8. 10
    Spineless Dave says:

    Exactly what is a pint of milk. Anyone know?

    • 15
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Yes, its an imperial measure of liquid extracted from a cow.

    • 16
      Lord Tony Hall says:

      You of course mean 568ml of Milk – Get with the programme or ship out

    • 20
      I don't know the price of milk says:

      I buy the milk in our house. When we need some I pick up a quart of red-top on my next shopping trip. I certainly don’t look at the price. Why would I?

      OTOH I bought a litre of Fino sherry yesterday in Tesco. Seven quid, I happened to notice.

    • 90
      The treachorous political class says:

      It’s hideously white

      • 136
        broderick crawford says:




  9. 11
    Anon...........& Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    its the Bullington indoctrination that makes Boris such an outstanding buffoon….

    just like BumSex ,(its the right thing to do),from Call me Out of Touch, Dave !!

    all part of Cons*LieLabor*LebDims satanic grand alliance…..

  10. 14
    Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog's Dead says:

    He’s an imbecile.

    • 115
      Psyche the Dog says:

      He’s Guido’s hero and can do no wrong, looks as if the Cons are stuck with Dodgy Dave

  11. 19
    Lots of repressed gays here who protest too much says:

    You know you love it.

    • 30
      Skeleton + Cupboard says:

      Au contraire – I think the consensus of opinion yesterday was wonderment at why the Daley news was considered a story at all.

      Would it be on the BBC if he announced he was living with a woman? If not, why not?

      • 116
        The changing room says:

        I think the consensus was that he is a narcissist of the first order.

        No-one was surprised and few were interested. As for the stuff about liking girls, well, time will tell.

    • 36

      ‘Some people are gay get over it!

      Bugger me, how ironic, it’s the gays who can’t stop going on about it!

    • 37
      Yeah, yeah, yeah get over yourself says:

      Actually, I couldn’t care less. I think you imagine others are as obsessed as you evidently are.

      • 40
        Crispin Blunt, Nigel Evans, Alan Duncan, Ted Heath, Leo Britun, Margot James says:

        Stop teasing, duckie!

        • 138
          broderick crawford says:



    • 110
      Edna Leverage says:

      Gay bum sex is so yesterday possums.

    • 117
      Psyche the Dog says:

      A man? It looks like a couple of teenagers

  12. 23
    Newsfox says:

    Probably a bit harsh to ask IQ questions on a radio phone in – but not as harsh as writing off people the way Boris did last week. He’s nothing more than a smiling, gawping Picaninnie for the City of London. Dance Boris, dance!

  13. 25
    Anonymous says:

    The first question showed a pretty low IQ from Ferrari. There are no Polar bears at the South Pole – he should have said North pole

    • 63
      Bilda Berger says:

      The north pole is the only possible location for the house, but then of course:

      (a) no one would be able, or even allowed, to build a house there;

      (b) polar bears do not range that far north; hence

      (c) the question was composed by a smug, ignorant twat, almost as smug and ignorant and that fat twat Ferrari. He should stick to making cars.

      Not that I have any time for Boris, who is also a twat. And fat.

      • 67
        Kerry Katona Used To says:

        Mums go to Iceland

      • 109
        Deprived Hole Sucker says:

        Ferrari is such a c.u,n,t. He fed his two kids so fucking much that the fat little bloaters have asthma and diabetes then he takes them to Lewisham on the NHS to get free treatment. He should be done for child abuse, mind you he done us a favor as any of his offspring are bound to be massive fucking c/u/n/t/s too.

  14. 26
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Critics of Nick Ferrari can’t accuse him of showing pro-Tory bias there. I bet Boris stomped off afterwards.

    Just seen the magnificent Philip Davies on the CMS Committee referring to ‘pages of politically correct crap’ on the BBC Parliament Channel! The media executive luvvies he was interviewing were literally speechless. I thought the BBC woman was going to faint with shock.

    • 34
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Nick Ferrari is the one the BBC always wheel out when the BBC has fucked up.

    • 98
      Axe The Telly Tax &Religion &Kill All Eco-loons says:

      I see Philip Davies voted for the Afriyie amendment.

      He was also one of only 15 Tories to vote against state control of the press.

      Wasn’t he also one of only 5 Tories to vote against green energy taxes and didn’t he give Chris Patten a roasting at the select committee?

      He’s also a Northern blue collar Tory and would help reconnect the Tories to northern working class voters.

      Knife traitor Cameron now and get Davies installed as the new Tory Tony Abbot and they can still win the next election, otherwise they are toast.

  15. 27
    Is there some fucking MSM agenda we should know about? says:


    • 33
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      Jones, you could never go far enough.

    • 42
      Skeleton + Cupboard says:

      What specific problems do LGBT people face, exactly? More than for example Irish people, or old people, or Chinese people? Or do they just face normal problems, in fact?

      • 92
        I Only Think I'm a Tank says:

        Don’t see how they can have ‘extra’ problems, the law is now equal in their treatment in all spheres. No one bats an eye anymore at the bearded cross dresser shopping in Tesco’s. Occasionally a man’s liking for women’s’ clothing can cause an issue if he works for MI6 and can result in him being packed into some form of designer luggage.

        • 125
          (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

          The only problems they have is not being able to keep their squawking gobs shut about how hard done to (oo er missus) they are.

      • 126
        Needy attention seeking boys says:

        The only problem is that there aren’t enough hours in the day for them to moan about how they’re discriminated against and celebrate how proud they are of their sexuality.

        It’s a wonder when they find the time for all the fisting and arse fucking.

  16. 41
    Liar.politicians says:

    The IQ questions fired by Nick Ferrari are nonsense as it’s far easier to read a question to derive an answer then being thrown it buy a jumped up presenter who thinks he’s clever, and interjecting every few seconds for an answer

    The tube question, even I managed to make a reasonable quess of £4 (without ever using the tube).

    A Nick Ferrari fail (not for first time).

  17. 46

    Where are you Ah!!!!!!!!!! M?

    You will never, ever beat three consecutive firsts!

    It requires extreme luck – not that awful skill quality that some inexplicably prize!

  18. 52
    Window Taxidermy says:

    No fan of Boris but are these actual IQ questions – they all seemed more like semantic trick questions? Once you realise you are looking for the trick they are easy to answer but before you have worked that out most of us would probably answer as Boris did.

  19. 53
    NatWest Wank says:

    Dear NatWest customers,

    Do what I did and change bank. This is the third time this shitty bank has had a technical fuck-up. I changed after the first one in 2012 and there’ve been two further meltdowns since I made the wise decision to leave.

    Vote with your feet and dump this utterly shite outfit.


    Someone who doesn’t bank with NatWest

  20. 54
    Petrolhead Wyatt says:

    He’s a crap shag as well

  21. 57
    Boris has IQ of Zero Shocker says:

    Obviously no bar to success in the Conservative Party.

    • 60
      Hollywood Reporter, always first with Tony Blair's news says:

      On the contrary

      It is necessary to be Mayor of Gotham City

      But where are Batman and Robbin?

    • 72
      Anonymous says:

      Tests have proved that at higher levels, IQ is inversely proportional to common sense.

  22. 61
    Bust Bank says:

    Unite, which represents workers at RBS, has “grave concerns that staffing challenges are exacerbating the problems facing the bank”. The union wants RBS to “demonstrate” the latest problems are not due to staff shortages or a lack of investment.

    …. or incompetent overpaid Unite members?

    • 70
      Gordon McBroon says:

      Bloody Tory cuts not supporting my state owned bank

    • 88
      Village Idiot says:

      .The whole country is suffering from intellectual incompetence,exacerbated by 13 years of new labour,but they(the so called educated elite)have been hopeless since closer ties to the EU,from 1975.This and lefty ideology has hastened the death knell for this once Great country…..As for teachers of the last 35 to 40 years,they should hang their heads in shame!!!!….I could go on,especially about the dilution of the British!

  23. 64
    Toby Young, anguishing about his life peerage says:

    Thank you for the publicity again Guido

    I am still in a deep moral crisis about whether to stand for the Commons

    On go directly to Go in the House of Lords

    And the Digger is no longer available to advise me

  24. 66
    Nothing like the Times was says:


    If you must refer us to your stable mates in the Trashed out Times of London

    I prefer this

    To the window licking Mrs Sylvester

    At least the Chinese have some ‘umour…

  25. 68
    Them were D days says:

  26. 75
    Well they shouldnt go knocking people out on buses for a start says:
  27. 80
    Wendi Deng says:

    Me so horny!

  28. 84
    Dave the Rave has lost the plot says:

    5 of the company bosses accompanying me to China have offered me jobs when I get kicked out

    Good pickings what?

  29. 85
    Tory Voter says:

    Actually, if you listened

    - The interviewer said the South Pole: it’s the North pole (and he had the answers)
    - The interviewer said you set the alarm to go off at 9 the next morning. Nowadays you can do exactly that with an alarm, rather than it going off at 9pm.

    And Boris’s point about education being the means to increase social mobility is exactly right.

    • 91
      The Lizzud Returns says:

      Yup. He also said the walls were south-facing. They can’t be, if they’re on the South Pole.

      Also, if you have three apples, and you take two of them, you still have three apples.

    • 94
      Village Idiot says:

      ……You’re not a kipper yet,big mistake?

    • 96
      BBC, Guardian, Unions and various assorted lefty simpletons says:

      Facts? We don’t need no stinking facts!

    • 99
      Throw another peasant on the fire says:

      A square igloo? Not going to be building a normal house in 9000ft of water.

      Polar bears aren’t white, of course, their skin is black and the hairs transparent. They just look white in certain conditions.

    • 142
      Anonymous says:

      There aren’t any bears at the South Pole last time I looked

  30. 93
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Nick Ferrari. Didn’t he used to be someone with a career in radio?

  31. 100
    Anonymous says:

    Oh look, more people complaining about the speech they didn’t read. All these people are arguing with Boris for the exact points that he already made.
    Many people would send their kids to a private school if they could, yet so many people loathe the idea of selecting for how good the children are rather than how good the parent is.
    The real reason that grammar schools are gone is because comprehensives always give you someone else to blame for failure.

    Regarding tube fares, if someone walked up to me at random and asked me the fare between two stations I’d look it up on my phone the same as everyone else. That’s not going to change whether you have a D in woodwork or a doctorate in railway management, this interviewer needs to get his head out of his arse.

    • 146
      Anonymous says:

      The real reason grammar schools have gone is because the middle class realised their thick brats couldn’t get in.

      • 149
        Tom Catesby. says:

        The destruction of the grammer schools also prevented bright working class kids from moving on and up.

  32. 104
    Peter Wiles says:

    Doubt if anyone with an Oyster card knows how much a tube ticket costs.

  33. 106
    Boris the Pirate says:

    3Rs!!! Reading, writing, ranking. IQ pro quo.

  34. 121
    *yawn* says:

    Why should he know the price of a ticket between two specific stations? He’s not a bloody ticket collector ffs!

  35. 127
    (Not so)Dangerous Brian says:

    Boris Johnson, a thick bloggers idea of what a clever politician should look like.
    Actually hes a professional buffoon following a long line of similar and eminently qualified to become PM and get even filthier rich than he already is, on the backs of the hoi poloi of course.
    Vote Boris, get f*cked!

    • 144
      Editor says:

      Any point you are trying to make is undermined by the plethora of grammatical errors you have made. This is not pedantry, this is to show the irony of you claiming someone else to be a buffoon.

  36. 128
    IDS says:

    This should help take the spotlight off my lack of brain cells.

  37. 129
    lojolondon says:

    This is typical Biased BBC. When Ed Balls goes on the TV or radio no such traps are laid for him. Neither for any Labour politician. Only the Tories get this treatment from all arms of the Biased BBC. And it means nothing. Guido is unfortunately biased against Boris and Farage and it seems, anyone who represents the people.

    Come on, Guido, you have a good website, play fair now.

  38. 130
    fed-up in britain says:

    Bring on david davis.Crist how can the tories ever picked cameran.Its beyond belief.Cut him loose. Try and talk to U-KIP.fOR FUCKS -SAKE.

  39. 139
    broderick crawford says:


    boris is probably on the right track without admitting it

    OECD came out with a study today showing uk not in first twenty on educational attainment worldwide.
    top places went to chinese and other asian countries

    apparently in south korea some kids are so driven that it is not unusual for them to do homework until 11.30 pee emm ( that s when the big hand is on the six and the little hand is near the twelve and it is dark outside )

    here we are going some if the kids stay focussed till 11.30 ayy emmm ( that s when the little hand .. you get the picture…)

    • 148
      Tom Catesby. says:

      Pleased to hear Chinese students are at the pinnicle of the education league. When the Chinese are finally running this country, we will probably end up with people who will know what they’re doing. A refreshing change from the old etonian incompetent sacks of sh^t we’ve got now.

  40. 140
    broderick crawford says:

    wassamaddah moddy

    having trouble reading it were we ?

  41. 141
    coldwarkid says:

    FAIL…………….Polar bears DO NOT LIVE AT THE SOUTH POLE, and never have.

  42. 147
    Tom Catesby. says:

    As thick as sh^t, but not as thick as those who keep voting for him, last laugh to Boris who knows how to count his salary.

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Kevin Maguire on the less than electrifying Ed Miliband…

“I bet if you went into a pub tonight and started a conversation about ­politics you’d hear strong opinions. David Cameron would be out of touch and Nick Clegg despised while Nigel Farage would divide people sharply. Miliband? In a lot of boozers he’d be the fourth most interesting man in British politics.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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