December 1st, 2013

CBS Sub-Title Jim Murphy in Glasgow


  1. 1
    Why doesn't Google translate do American ? says:
  2. 2
  3. 3
    Scottish Chav says:

    haw pal, gonnie nae take the pish n that!

  4. 4
    Helpful Jockanese/English Phrases says:

    Jockanese: Ya Inglish bastad! Bastad Inglish basta’ds!
    English translation: Why, thank you for all the money you’ve given us, English people, we couldn’t have coped without it.

    Jockanese: Ya Inglish bastad! Independence for wee bonnie Scotland och aye!
    English translation: Why, thank you for all the money you’ve given us, English people, but we’ll be going our own separate way from here on, but rest assured when we go bust we’ll be knocking on your door most forcefully.

  5. 5

    It seems clear to me that we need a quadruple lock if, or when, Scotchland goes independent, because if the first referendum does not give the right result, they will keep on holding them until it happens. Once they are gone, we need to be very chary about inviting them back. I propose the following:

    1. Any re-admission to the UK will have to be voted on separately by the Scotch, the Welsh and the English. Every vote will have to be positive for it to happen.

    2. All Scotch then to be issued with North Korean passports and visa stays for 90 days. Any we don’t like can be deported.

    3. At their expense, a remake will be made of Braveheart which this time will have to be historically accurate. All Americans must watch it and the Scotch will have to ensure this – or no deal.

    4. All distilleries in Scotchland are to be made my property, free of any taxation and excise. I might let you lot have some, if you are all good.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Jim Murphy is a Labour MP and wants to remain in the union as do I and the majority of Scottish people. Trying to be funny but only succeeding in showing how ignorant you are.

  7. 7
    genghiz the kahn says:

    See Yeose Jimmy.

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Well tell Salmond to fuck right off then.

  9. 9
    JAMES DILLON says:

    Poor Jim being lampooned by folk when the Yanks are lining up drone strikes on Scotland when we ditch the Union. Cos thats what they do when we dont speak their language.

  10. 10
    Perry says:

    I was very impressed with the way Jim Murphy gave (reluctantly) a short interview after the crash. Dignified

  11. 11
    JH5345234234235 says:

    Not surprising. I remember stopping off at a McDonalds in Illinois (we were desperate) with a friend from Teesside.

    I had to make his order for him, to my considerable amusement. The poor girl behind the counter could not understand a word of his (not very strong) accent.

    ‘Coke’ was a particular problem. How thick do you have to be to ask someone what drink they want and when they say ‘Corke’, they actually mean ‘Coke’?

  12. 12
    Perry says:

    ‘Scotland’ actually, the ‘Scots’ actually

  13. 13
    Lin Simpson says:

    Did you purposely omit any mention of NI ? Are NI distilleries too common for you ?

  14. 14
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    Perhaps we would be less ignorant if we had to read up on the union because we were going to get a vote on it! Instead, being disenfranchised, taking the piss is all we’ve got. Still, when you vote to keep taking our money you’ll be able to take the piss out of us. That’ll make a nice change.

  15. 15
    Huge Grunt says:

    You must be one of those Jockanese socialists, actually, love.

  16. 16
    Hugh Jend says:

    Do you enjoy tunnock’s tea cakes?

  17. 17
    Carry Hole is a porcine homunculus says:

    Think the English are more pro New-Darien independence than the scotch.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Nothing like making fun of the dead and injured, eh?

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Reluctant? An MP.? How touchingly naive.

  20. 20
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Hello, Jim!

  21. 21
    A non emouse says:

    And for those of us who are old enough to speak properly, is not it about time that we had subtitles when Americans (and Londonistani residents) are interviewed.

  22. 22
    A non emouse says:

    I believe that Google do Pirate…

  23. 23
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Nothing like making millions of bucks out of em A La Mr Blair eh!

  24. 24
    A non emouse says:

    And when are Microsoft going to spell 《favourites》 properly?

  25. 25
    Blowing Whistles says:

    See multiple subjects in the letters in MOS and Graph of today.

    If you have a hard copy of the Graph – keep it and note the article below Booker – Profumo / Ward / misdirection [deliberate, wilful, knowing and intentional] by the dead from the neck of the wigged fraternity.

    Chilcot – Blair is damned either way as is Heywood and many many others who acted contrary to the national Interest and national security.

    Hogan-Howe – get your finger out Re: McBride in print. Do I have to name the pages and the BBC interview?

  26. 26
    Nemo says:

    Awa and bile yer heid!

  27. 27
    Nemo says:

    When are we going to spell properly correctly

  28. 28
    Potty Polly Toynbeeornottoynbee says:

    How sad is the Mail on Sunday ?

  29. 29
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Remember – I have the emails (and more) betwixt us you fucking marxist bitch.

  30. 30
    Mike Oxenfire says:

    Don’t worry, Anonymous is right — would-be Fuhrer Salmond will be told to fuck right off in the coming referendum.

  31. 31
    Helpful Jockanese/English Phrases says:

    “Trying to be funny but only succeeding in showing how ignorant you are.”

    You’re mistaking me for someone who gives a fuck what worthless Jockanese parasites think.

  32. 32
    A non emouse says:


  33. 33
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    We don’t want Scotland in the union- not that we English ever get a vote on anything important. As soon as the jocks get independence they can take all their liebor MPs with them and give us break from socialism- permanently.

  34. 34
    danny nolan says:

    I think ye’ll find that Jim Murphy gave several of these *reluctant* interviews to news media on the night.

    Och aye.

  35. 35
    danny nolan says:

    I feel for those (gullible) millions who thought that voting for Bliar meant the sun would shine that bit warmer, the grass would be somehow greener, and that the local public khazi would smell of otto of roses… but who now hate him with a passion.

    Good love gone bad.

    Take a heart of stone not to laugh.

    Gullible ****wits.

  36. 36
    Tom Catesby . says:

    They will next year.

  37. 37
    Yeah, right.... says:

    Scotland is hardly worthless.

    Now that we are building nuclear power stations again, we’ll need somewhere to bury all that waste.

  38. 38
    Yeah, right.... says:

    Their fine whiskey aside, it would solve a lot of our problems if Scotland when independent and the irish got the north back.

    Not that they’d want it, I don’t suppose…

  39. 39
    A message for that jockanese translator prick says:

    This fuckwit bigot is clearly having difficulty coming to terms with being buggered to fuck at his public school and is retaking all his hate out on his Scottish neighbours. Whilst I understand his pain it still makes him a grubby little racist.

  40. 40
    Blowhard watch says:

    SC If Independence meant not having to read your pompous pretentious drivel then its a yes from me.

  41. 41

    Well I fink its time like to build a Salmond Wall innit?

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