November 29th, 2013

Friday Caption Contest (Independence Blueprint Edition)


  1. 1
    Cymro oddi ar y llinell says:

    And this is our plan for Falkirk…

  2. 2
    Roundell says:

    I see that your love of self portraits has not diminished

  3. 3
    Steve Miliband says:

    Pair of tits

  4. 4
    eGOM says:

    “You’re absolutely sure there are no copyright issues?”

  5. 5
    Monty says:

    4 tits on display.

  6. 6
    Jan Petrovic says:

    As you can see, our policies as are as clear as day.

  7. 7
    M102 says:

    And this one was sent in by G Brown or Kircaldy aged 56.

  8. 8
    Barbelo says:

    Haggis, Neeps, Tatties and Whisky sauce for us.

  9. 9
    Alex Salmond says:

    As you can see, I’ve drawn the battle lines.

  10. 10
    Kebab Time says:

    “We asked the Scottish people what they wanted from an SNP led Non EU Mc Scotland and this was the reply”

    “Gordons Submission”

    “Translated to English for 140 million”

  11. 11
    manwithaplan says:

    Right my dear, do you have any other idea’s we can use for the white paper

  12. 12
    Gordon Brown says:

    Who gave him my selfie?

  13. 13
    The voice of unreason says:

    … and this will be our new flag!

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Alex Salmond shows the SNP’ blueprint for an independent Scotland

  15. 15
    Steve Miliband says:

    It’s an Eddi Reader Selfie.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    Alex Salmond says:

    I even used the same crayons Gordon used to sign the Lisbon treaty.

  18. 18
    Thomas from Tonna says:

    This is something Nick Clegg prepared earlier.

  19. 19
    David says:

    “Thank you for your observations children”

  20. 20
    Alex Salmond says:

    And this is what our new five puund note will look like

  21. 21
    Kebab Time says:

    “Neo Guido, the morning after the John Major speech night before”

  22. 22
    Ed Miliband - Shadow Tosser says:

    He’th sthtolen my Manifethto!

  23. 23
    Dave "Nasty" Cameron says:

    Why is that Scottish woman wearing a wig ?

  24. 24
    Steve Miliband says:

    Charles Kennedy has signed up

  25. 25
    Scottish Herald says:

    And look, a certain Mr Russell Brand wishes to relocate to Scotland.

  26. 26
    Steve Miliband says:

    Makes more sense than Labour’s blank piece of paper

  27. 27
    Peter Grant says:

    AS: “Don’t know about you Nicky, but I can’t see the wood for the trees!”

    NS: “Never mind the White Paper now Eck, there is some great definition in this drawing, isn’t there?”

  28. 28
    Alex says:

    “This is our application to join the EU…”

  29. 29
    radsatser says:

    This is the final design for the 50 million Eckie banknote. (£1 =100million Eckies)

  30. 30
    bleubottle says:

    How do you know that woman is Scottish ?

  31. 31
    @hamishprague says:

    My design for Europe. We are in the middle.

  32. 32
    Screwed taxpayer says:

    What a fucking mess — typical LibLabConnery aided by the SNP pillocks.

  33. 33
    The other life says:

    Little girl asks the Crankies what dogging is.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    If ye wore a kilt you widnae have skid marks.

  35. 35
    Andrew K says:

    This is the new flag. We’ve modelled it broadly on the Belgian one.

  36. 36
    Eccles says:

    I do not think that that is a woman wearing the wig and the skirt.

  37. 37
    Smoked Salmond says:

    I hope they don’t realise the reason my face is so red is because Nicola’s cleavage has given me the horn.

  38. 38
    Rabid Scot says:

    It’s not finished yet!

  39. 39
    gra smi says:

    i like that

  40. 40
    Nascent kipper says:

    Shreknoccio hands in his manifesto after a busy night on the Buckfast.

  41. 41
    gra smi says:

    Here is conclusive proof that independence works

  42. 42
    Kebab Time says:

    “Can you tell what it is yet?”

  43. 43
    Psyche the Dog says:

    A S: Haven’t I done well

  44. 44
    Alex says:

    You see, a little learning is a dangerous thing…

  45. 45
    wiedehopf says:

    “…and that is an excellent drawing of what happened to the last poor sucker who tried to get independence for Scotland!”

  46. 46
    John Chilcot says:

    Salmond leaks the result of Miliband’s smear test.

  47. 47
    Nicola Sturgeon says:

    Ah…page 216.

  48. 48
    Ian says:

    And this will be our replacement for the Saltire……

  49. 49
    Alex Salamander MSP says:

    I shall tackle corruption in the Scottish Parliament as soon as I’ve got this expense claim through.

  50. 50
    The Salmond says:

    This is the new toupe I will be wearing when we are an independent nation.

  51. 51
    Jock McSubsidy says:

    I’ve sketched out my vision of Scotland’s future. Nobody will buy it.

    Now give me a subsidy.

  52. 52
    Dolly says:

    You are a poster boy for Scotch whisky…

  53. 53
    Kebab Time says:

    “I hold here in my hand a pice of paper, a piece of paper more historic than womens right to vote, more important than civil rights in the usa, I hold here the recipe to deep fried haggis mars bars and the proof that ******* ******** MP and ******* *******mp did not fiddled their expenses.

  54. 54
    mbowley1 says:

    “Here’s the flag”

  55. 55
    Col. Nut says:

    It’s Rab C. Nesbitt’s wife, the wee hen.

  56. 56
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “An original Salmond– it will fetch a pretty penny down the road, when I become ‘The Father Of His Country’ and all the collectors will look for memorabilia…wonder how much the bloke on the Antiques Roadshow will say it’s worth?”

  57. 57
    nellnewman. says:

    Cameron: the same “Dave” that stood in front of the electorate and claimed to have NO knowledge whatsoever of Lansley’s plans for top-down reorganisation of the NHS before the election.

    This man is not only an idiot – but an arse to boot!

    Sarkozy publicly embarrassed him, Merkel pissed herself laughing at him, Obama only puts up with him so he can look after the BBQ, Putin thinks he’s a twat.

    And there are people out there who think he is doing a good job!

  58. 58
    Anon says:

    The Scottish pound note will look like this

  59. 59
    Darth Weevil the Eternally Crazed says:

    And here is an artists rendition of what Scotland will look like once I’m in charge

  60. 60
    Owen's Remedial Art teacher says:

    This is called “Big Black Gay Cock” by Jacqueline, aged 65.

  61. 61
    Alex says:

    After Independence, your cleavage will be this big

  62. 62
    Col. Nut says:

    She says she did it for Jimmy Savile in his Highland cottage.

  63. 63
    Perry says:

    Awe come on, it’s only my first go

  64. 64
    Teacher says:

    Can you show me on this drawing where that nasty man touched you

  65. 65
    Princess Fiona says:

    Shrek gives his autograph to a couple of star-struck fans

  66. 66
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    We’re on the road to nowhere.

  67. 67
    Rickytshirt says:

    A sheet of A4 paper is surprisingly absorbent after a heavy night of buckfast and deep fried mars bars, but do watch out for paper cuts won’t you, children.

  68. 68
    Wandsworth Thinker says:

    “This one is from a friend of mine, J. Dromey, he calls it: ‘Everyday is Black Friday’ “

  69. 69
    Genghiz the kahn says:
  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    First Minister launches the Government’s Shite Paper on Independance

  71. 71
    Wee fat Eck of the Shortbread Senate says:

    Eck: The two black lines indicate the SNPs rise in popularity and the increased support for independence.

    Nicola: Alex, you realise it should be rotated 90 degrees clockwise?

  72. 72
    Rickytshirt says:

    Miss, you had so much cleavage on show I could nae hold my crayons steady.

  73. 73
    sproggingforbenefits says:

    This girl has adequately described the SNP stance on Independence for Scotland

  74. 74
    King Alex says:

    The Red, Yellow and Black in our new flag is homage to Germany, who will be funding the economy.

  75. 75
    Kebab Time says:

    “This was Russell Brands piece before the sub Ed touched it”

  76. 76
    David Cameron says:

    How low did the SNP set the age at which young people could vote FFS?

  77. 77
    Maximus says:

    I’m told you’ve titled it ‘Sotch Mist Obscures the Noblest Prospect of the High Road to England (Again)’. Very good. Now tell me, are you from around these parts?

  78. 78
    LiebourkilledallIluv says:

    An this ma wee lassie, is the SNP manifesto!

    Alex Salmond, and Nicky Sturgeon, there’s something fishy aboot they twa, ah gist cannae pit ma finger oan it.

  79. 79
    SNP Hater says:

    Here’s the plan for a new porridge factory and children if England doesn’t do as we ask then we’ll cut of their porridge supply.

  80. 80
    Ian says:

    Scottish bitcoin.

  81. 81
    LiebourkilledallIluv says:

    Did you see her on question time! Jeez whit an erse

  82. 82
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Salmond: ‘The cleavage from England will be a simple matter.’

  83. 83
    All MP's are scum says:

    This is the New Scottish Flag what I drawed myself.

  84. 84
    The world has always been a crime ridden shithole says:

    Off topic but any of you been on the website of the Old Bailey with its records dating back to the 17th century? Fascinating stuff.

    Random example from 1675 of a 14 year old sentenced to death for murder
    J. D. a little boy about 14 years of age, for murthering a Citizen and Silkman in Milk-street , which he confessed: Young in years but old in wickedness

  85. 85
    altruism in industry says:

    “See ? and the bigger black lines is how much more oil we’ll get after independence”

  86. 86
    Jack Dromey says:

    I’ll favourite that.

  87. 87
    The little Girl says:

    When asked to explain how the Independence campaign was going, Mr Salmond said a picture is worth 670 pages.

  88. 88
    Nicola says:

    It smells kinda funny. Does he live on a farm now?

  89. 89
    Peter Grimes says:

    I got my pal Gordon to jot down his economic plans for an independent Scotland.

    I think it is even better than the one I presented this week.

  90. 90
    Vote Tory get heir to Blair says:

    AS: And this is an impartial architect’s view of Glasgow in ten years if we don’t get independence.

  91. 91
    HPDL says:

    Salmond: “Eddi Reader has drawn this picture to clearly set out why Scottish Independence is a good idea”

  92. 92
    man in the street says:

    Wee ‘eck unveils the new SNP logo.

    On another note, how old is that picture? Salmond is about 3 times the size now and Sturgeon has a tad few more wrinkles.

  93. 93
    BBC McIntern says:

    Following the announcement that the age for voting will be lowered to 3 years, Alex Salmond unveiled the illustrated edition of his manifesto, entitled The Haggis Who Came To Tea.

    Now children, repeat after me:
    You’ll have had yer tea?

  94. 94
    Shrek says:

    This diagram explains exactly how independence will work.
    Basically, as you can clearly see, its whatever I say it is.

  95. 95
    HPDL says:

    Salmond auditions for the ‘Rolf Harris’ role in a new Scottish TV channel

  96. 96
    The General says:

    ” The ‘Say No’ campaigners say that an independent Scotland is not economically viable, but as you can plainly see by my plan for the economy, they are totally wrong.”

  97. 97
    geordieboy says:

    Just like our 654 page propaganda book, a load of shite

  98. 98
    Bill Quango MP/8 says:

    Nicola – After we’ve lost I’m thinking of going to Europe as an adviser to Nick Clegg.

    Alex – Aye! Nice! I’ve got an offer from UKIP.

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    This is an accurate representation of Nicola’s muff after I’ve spat out my haggis and cockie-leekie dinner all over it.

  100. 100
    Brigadoon says:

    Joan McAlpine’s political beliefs here.

  101. 101
    Pollocks says:

    … and here is an example of Roma craftmanship that will help enrich Britain next year …

  102. 102
    ViSIOnOn says:

    Unfortunately we are unable to return your painting too you.

  103. 103
    Gawd Help Us says:

    Isn’t allowing him to have crayons a bit dangerous?

  104. 104
    Fbi says:

    Alex Salmond tearing up the yes voting slip as he stays in the unipm

  105. 105
    Prince Rupert says:

    Strange person, you are either looking at a different picture or you can see something in the sqiggles that has set off your lunacy

  106. 106
    Noel says:

    “… and this is the Fair Trade Christmas card we’ll be using this year.”

  107. 107
    out of the mouths of babes says:

    Mr Salmond. If you are going to keep the Queen, the pound, the BBC, the EU, the Royal Mail, the Royal Regiments and the NHS, what does independence mean?

  108. 108
    Rattyman says:

    See Rab, I told you you were gifted!

  109. 109
    Stopthewhining says:

    Nicola sat down with a couple of crayons and a glass or two of whisky last night and has designed our new flag. What do you think?

  110. 110
    Mike Oxenfire says:

    The Red, Yellow and Black in our new flag is homage to Germany, whose Fuhrer I’d like to emulate — A. Salmond


  111. 111
    Och aye the noo broon coo says:

    This is the latest Edinburgh tram map.

  112. 112
    The Great British Public says:

    Salmond – Is it a picture of an independent Scotland ?

  113. 113
  114. 114
    Iron Bru says:

    or wee wifie.

  115. 115

    Salmond: At least it has more than Miliband’s sheet of paper.

  116. 116
    6 fingers from Norfolk says:

    “Look what Uncle Gordon has drawn for us.
    I know a story about messing things up want to hear it.”

  117. 117
    hairyarsedscotsman says:

    Awe thanks hen, that wis a gid wipe o’ ma a**e.

    The wife isnae pleased when a get skid marks on ma breeks.

    Whor did awe the black bits come fae tho?

  118. 118

    How’s it hanging, Alеx?

  119. 119
    Jackie Smiths DVD says:

    It’s a picture of the chancellor’s underpants who is shitting himself as he knows the oil money is going to dry up

  120. 120
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Nice cleavage shot for a Friday afternoon. Pity she’s posing with an even bigger tit.

  121. 121
    Hell for Leather says:

    And this is my blueprint for Scotland’s future — working title: Scorched Earth

  122. 122
    Get out of our plane seats you plebs says:

    So, the staff at the Wee Troubled Mind’s Hospital have allowed Gordon to use crayons now?

  123. 123

    Rorschach test shows Salmond to have a predominance of sexually obsessed behaviour with unconscious content concerning latent homosexuality and castration. He has very strong feelings of rejection.

    Just wait until the referendum result.

  124. 124

    “I finished my other book too…….”

  125. 125
    Scottish Chav says:

    wee fat eck hands in his 6th year dissertation

  126. 126
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Salmond – “And this kids is my brain scan taken while I dreamt up the White Paper”.

  127. 127
    Mike Wilkinson says:

    “Nicola, I’ve finished the final draft of the White Paper”

  128. 128
    Arec samon says:

    Lovely Christmas card, Gordon. We’ll add it to the other 7 you’ve sent this month.

  129. 129

    Aye! It‘s a wee dysfunctional artist!

  130. 130
    anallyretentivelawyer says:

    Brilliant! But much too detailed for our purposes.

  131. 131
    PitPony says:

    Teacher – “Mr Salmond, where is your projected boom in the Scottish economy shown on that graph”

  132. 132
    Boring Troll says:

    Looks like a ball-bag with legs

  133. 133
    Poets' Day says:

    …and this is what Scotland will look like after I’ve finished wiping my arse on it…

  134. 134
    John Bellingham says:

    Salmond, Sturgeon? Not a single fish joke?

  135. 135
    The British media are cunts says:

    Alex Salmond shows off the congratulations card from Gordon Brown.

  136. 136
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Well, she only recently became someone’s wife – an SNP official.
    It always looks better in politics if you’re apparently married, just like Gormless Gordon, Wee Willie Hague, Liam ‘Werrity’ Fox and that lovely Chris (Co-op) Leslie did.
    It fools no-one.

  137. 137
    I G says:

    “OK David, we’ll try again………..The little black mark represents the UK average contribution per head to the UK treasury. The big black mark shows how much the Scots pay per head…….£11,079 is bigger than £9,342………Have you go it yet?”

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    He holds the crayons while 4 people move the desk

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    Its called ‘The case for independence’

  140. 140
    Cynic2 says:

    Salmond shows financial strategy

  141. 141
    Alex's mum says:

    Well done Alex -we’ll put on the fridge (no we won’t)

  142. 142

    SNP do market research on design for Scottish pound!

  143. 143

    White Paper rewrite proves better than original as School kids love the colours

  144. 144

    As you see this document answers all the questions about Scottish Independence.

  145. 145

    Can I trade you this picture for food, Scotland has a barter system as Plan McB

  146. 146

    Yes, this picture shows that there is talent in the SNP

  147. 147

    My SNP MSP aide Joan McAlpine does this on the Daily Record but she gets about £400 a week, where’s mine?

  148. 148

    I spent my life fight for independence and now Nicola says she likes going to see the Tennis for free at Wimbledon in the Royal box

  149. 149

    Do you have any ideas how an independent country should run?

  150. 150
    Crisp Ackham says:

    Scotland’s got talent

  151. 151

    This is the Scottish plan for defence, the yellow lines at our enemies peeing themselves laughing and the red bit s,us lying in the mud with our heads cut off, the black bits are dirty on the photocopier

  152. 152

    When you grow up, you can set up this size of paper for begging with on street corners by adding text, it is your only chance to eat in indy Scotland

  153. 153

    This is my work done for the day, tomorrow I play in the sand pit

  154. 154

    I went to school like you, then uni, then spend the rest of my time bitching about England giving Scotland a raw deal while soaking up Westminster expenses

  155. 155

    This is the best to lose an independence campaign, I am on the way out of the door as my political career is dying in Scotland

  156. 156

    I have so many pensions from the English State that I can afford to live the high life, I always wanted to be an artist you know!

  157. 157

    when it rains I use this as a hat and write Nike on it!

  158. 158
    DC says:

    Why didn’t the English and americans let the german person carry on eradicating the chosen race and the romas and the slavs, he would of got round to the muzzies sooner or later. What a different world it would be.

  159. 159
    Cynic2 says:

    …..and tomorrow Alex we will start you on reading and writing too

  160. 160
    Gez says:

    Alex Salmond stuns doubters by revealing the SNP do indeed have a plan ‘B’.

  161. 161
    Sorry, what did you say? says:

    Our main worry is the loss of employment to the 500,000 Scottish speaking ethnic group specially employed by HRMC so that no one understands a word they say.

    Not sure where we are going to put that lot!

  162. 162
    Cynic2 says:

    Alex no matter how many Photo-shoots you do I am younger prettier and have a great rack

  163. 163

    I bought Nicola with me to frighten you into voting Yes, but she is popular honest

  164. 164
    Cynic2 says:

    Now Alex post it off to the Domino’s “Design a Deep Fried Pizza” competition and we will see if you win independence

  165. 165

    where’s my next career move to be, maybe I will go to London and do something at the Tate Gallery, like night watchman position, they have Sky

  166. 166
    Cynic2 says:

    Will she do a turn?

  167. 167

    This was me using my left hand, my right hand is much more steady

  168. 168
    Cynic2 says:

    Salmond displays first acquisition for new Scottish National Gallery designed to rival LOndopn

  169. 169

    I wish that instead of being an MP and MSP I had been a spray painter writing ‘young team’ on the walls in my hick village up north

  170. 170

    This is the new logo for an indy Scotland, its called chaos and desolation

  171. 171

    David Cameron has sent me a reply regarding him and me doing a TV debate on Scottish independence

  172. 172

    anyone here working class? You can go sit somewhere else I want to help rich kids that’s why I came into politics

  173. 173

    how can we prove this, everyone knows Alex Salmond possibly has huge man boobs

  174. 174

    No children, Nicola is not my wife, I am married to a woman old enough to be my mother

  175. 175
    As If says:

    Andy M lives in Surrey.

  176. 176
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    And this is my O level Economics certificate.

  177. 177
    Anonymous says:

    Moira Salmond is 75!! She must be the oldest person in Scotland. Amazing for a diet of deep fried pizza and whatever. She could do better than fat eck though.

  178. 178
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Little Girl [Thinking to herself] ‘umm … that bitch appears to be in love with the prick on the right’.

  179. 179
    Noon says:

    ‘And farts will smell of violets and it will never rain and cakes will always rise; there’ll be free irn bru for all and we’ll only have to work 2 days a month; you’ll pay no tax and there’ll be rainbows everyday.

    Like this one”.

  180. 180
    Jabez says:

    More than one! “Nice Cleavage” and “This is made simple for the Scots who vote no and do not want to take control of their own destiny”. “For Tory “readers” – YES we want I you impertinent morons”.

  181. 181
    Harri says:

    And this is Scotland .. on fire

  182. 182

    today we discolouring in

  183. 183
    Chasing the Deer says:

    Sturgeon: ” If we can get the voting age down to 9 I think we can guarantee independence !”

    Salmond: “I think probably 6 is better Nicola…they’ll definitely fall for our fairy tales”

  184. 184
    McFred says:

    How can we extend this to 670 pages?

  185. 185

    I don’t want a picture of my skid marks all over our fridge!

  186. 186
    Alan Salmon says:

    This is worth £100 million according to an expert art valuer. No you can’t see his valuation. OK, there isn’t a valuation but if Scotland was independent it would have the potential to be worth £100 million instead of the Westminster government saying it wasn’t.

  187. 187
    Larry The Downing Street Cat says:

    Here’s what Scotland’s Balance Sheet looks like after Independence.

  188. 188
    broderick crawford says:



  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    Our devolution committee has studied the prospects once independence has been gained and this charts the expected projected steady state of the newly independent Scottish economy once all the English function jobs have been transferred south of the Boarder and also includes all the Romas immigrants and Scottish detainees at H.M.P being deported back to their mother land!!

  190. 190
    broderick crawford says:



  191. 191
    Winnie Teh Poo says:

    From 2016 we shall use the Scat as currency,here’s one I made earlier.

  192. 192
    The jocks wan't to walk away Scott free after Darion two says:

    This is the plan we have to pay back the English the money our Scottish banks had to be bailed out, after two Scottman’s ponzi socialist rule for thirteen years

  193. 193
    Chief Wippet, Battersea Dogs' Home says:

    Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you the independent Scotland’s budget forecasts in the medium of art.

    Song and Dance will follow.

  194. 194
    pmt has a lot to answer for says:

    Picasso had his Blue Period.
    This is my attempt after my period

  195. 195
    DAVE bigger embarrassment than McMad says:

    “Well done Alex you can have a star for that !”

  196. 196
    DAVE bigger embarrassment than McMad says:

    Alex Salmon reveals his carefully drawn up plan for Scotland’s independence

  197. 197
    DAVE bigger embarrassment than McMad says:

    Alex salmon shows why he ended up a politician after being kicked out of art school

  198. 198
    DAVE bigger embarrassment than McMad says:

    Alex Salmon squeezes out a huge Jobbie in a live interview

  199. 199
    Sir William MacWayde says:

    “An independent Scotland will educate children to draw better than this shite”

  200. 200
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    SNP showing off their ideas – one up from Eds blank piece of paper.

  201. 201
    a salMoNd Age 9 says:


  202. 202
    Hugh Mcready says:

    Nicola and Alex realise their paper is not a Jackson Pollock,just utter bollocks

  203. 203
    The Golem of Neasden says:

    They can have the bastard

  204. 204
    The Golem of Neasden says:

    But it plays hell with the bike saddle

  205. 205
    Salmonella & Sturgeon says:

    This is me in my yellow phase behind black diagonal portal lines of disbelief and hypocrisy. This little girl should be in politics.

  206. 206
    HMP Hunhe says:

    (AS) … labour only offers a blank sheet… this is what we the SNP will do with it.

  207. 207
    MB. says:

    ‘If ye wore a kilt you widnae have skid marks.’

    Actually companies hiring out kilts have a big problem with skid marks when they are returned.

  208. 208
    The Golem of Neasden says:

    UKIP will tell ye England bashing fascists tae phuquoff!

  209. 209
    The Golem of Neasden says:

    Being dependent on Brussels

  210. 210
    The Golem of Neasden says:

    Alec Mugabe proudly displays the winning depiction of his intention toward English landowners

  211. 211
    Ayayay says:

    …”and this document explains how you can divorce your wife whilst still retaining the ability to shag her up the arse every morning”

  212. 212
    Rightallalong says:

    That’s my drawing of Alistair Darling. Can you nae see the eyebrows ? Smirk, smirk.

  213. 213

    Isn’t it sweet? Gordon did it for me.

  214. 214
    BraveFart says:

    This is our constitution for an independent Scotland.

    It will mean anything that I, once I immediately declare myself President-for-life, want it to mean.

  215. 215
    Tom Catesby. says:

    You should see what I can do when I’m not on the Irn Bru!

  216. 216
    Dickie says:

    Salmond presents the roadmap to an independent Scotland.

  217. 217
    Balls says:

    Brilliant! Winner!

  218. 218
    Concerned of Wick. says:

    I’d send that off to the coprology department asap, Alex. Could be a colon problem.

  219. 219
    Anonymous says:

    Have you got a day job?

  220. 220
    Where's Oor Wallie? says:

    They may take our pens, but they’ll never take our crayons!

  221. 221
    Mel "BraveBucky" Hibson says:

    and when we open the new national gallery, I have some work to put in there right away.

    I call this, “Up yours, English Bastards! How dare you give Scotland lots of money when we’d pished all oors up the wall in Panama?”

  222. 222
    Andrex says:

    Double Width toilet paper. For the biggest arses in Scotland.

  223. 223

    I see I am going to be busy in this thread, as my moniker is pointing out. Even so I would say that Germany will be running the Country, because actually that is who runs the EU. The Club of Rome is based in Germany you surely knew ?

  224. 224
  225. 225

    Couple o’ Fannies !!!!

  226. 226

    Not a chance wid ah plunge that !

  227. 227
    John Swindlery says:

    This is the New Scoattish Currency

    1 Bawbee Scots = 2 Zimbabwe Dollars

  228. 228
    John Swindlery says:

    They Wulnae lettuce sin Alex, Howno ?

    It that Portugeee snidey, ahve nivver liked them

  229. 229
    John Swindlery says:

    Ah wull huv yew ken that …

    1 Bawbee Scots = 2 Zimbabwe Dollars

    FACT !!!!!

  230. 230

    Salmond Animations are Hilarious at the Link in My Name

    See The “Coubs” of Alex Smallman

    Laugh? – I thought my pants would never dry !

  231. 231

    This is my Tailor’s Plans

    So that’s why my suits never fit !

  232. 232

    Never mind the bol locks – its …..

  233. 233
  234. 234

    BRILLIANT !!!!!!!!!

    Best Cartoon Yet of the Bawbag

  235. 235
    Mike Brussels MSP (Master of the Sacred Purse) says:

    No Idea at all, sorry, but The Glorious EU will yell us what to do, just as they already do now. 90% of all the laws and diktats already come from Brux.

  236. 236
    Rolf Harris says:

    Can you see what it is yet? This makes me proud to be Scottish.

  237. 237
    Round the Bend says:

    “The SNP has been working on a plan for independence since it started 50 years ago; and this is it!”

  238. 238
    Psyche the Dog says:

    A S: I got the idea after having seen the English Tory logo, but sort of with a touch of tartan, what do think of it from the view of the younger generations?

  239. 239
    broderick crawford says:

    Independent Scotland to have a Jacuzzi

    The ‘intelligent fridge’ means Scotland will never run out of potato scones
    An independent Scotland will have a spa bath, state-of-the-art multi-room audio and an ‘intelligent fridge’.
    Setting out its blueprint for independence, the Scottish National Party said the country would be ‘fully-loaded’ with the sort of optional extras that will make England ‘question its life choices’.

    First Minister Alex Salmond said: “I had my first Jacuzzi last year. It was fantastic and I thought ‘if we are going to do independence properly we are definitely going to need one of these’.

    “It was so bubbly and warm. Honest to God, I literally had to be dragged out of it.

    “Four big guys – half an hour. I was clinging to the handles.”

    He added: “The sound system will be amazing. It means we can have the same song playing in every single room in Scotland at the same time.

    “The guy from the shop said it’s much cheaper if it’s part of a ‘new build’. He said it gets pricey if you have to ‘retro-fit’ it.

    “I didn’t ask what that meant.”

    Salmond said that, unlike the opponents of independence, he has never missed an episode of Channel Four’s Grand Designs.

    He continued: “What I learned was that it’s all about ‘the budget’. Kevin McCloud is always telling people to spend way more than they can possibly afford, otherwise they will regret it for the rest of their lives.

    “I’m not saying we won’t have enough money, I’m saying we’re going sell all the nuclear submarines to Brazil.”

  240. 240
    Tartan Rug says:

    A Picture of Scotland’s Independence Trumps Syrup

  241. 241
    Ian says:

    Listen Mr Salmond, this is what everybody in my class thinks of your independence…

  242. 242
    Anonymous says:

    What a nasty old pair of tits.

  243. 243
    Sall E B Acow says:

    This is the blueprint of the Labour Party Manifesto for the next General Election, we got it from a nark at Unite in Falkirk.

  244. 244
    surlyscot says:

    was that the age or the IQ level??

  245. 245
    Anonymous says:

    I believe independence means pies in oor time.

  246. 246
    Anonymous says:

    You just wanting our cash Swinney – ya snide

    Proof !

  247. 247

    Yer Bum’s Oot The Windae Salmond :D

    a wee animation of the blowhard – click the Talking Mince


  248. 248
    TGG says:

    …..and we’ve also budgeted for re-stocking the National Galleries after British art is repatriated…..

  249. 249
    Fintan Kat says:

    It’s Gaelic for large Government grant/

  250. 250
    Anonymous says:

    There’s another 669 pages like this.

  251. 251
    G. Brown says:

    Scottidh wanker wipes arse and proudly reveals result.

  252. 252
    sick says:

    What a lovely picture of a Helicopter

  253. 253
    Alistair Eyebrows says:

    Three words …

    Pot Kettle Black

  254. 254

    you saying I am not a comic?

  255. 255
    Long Live Our Gracious Queen. says:

    To the Natz party! (Alias SNP) Never will y’all split Bonnie Scotland from the United Kingdom.
    We are Sovereigns of The Queen.

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