November 22nd, 2013

WATCH: Rob Ford: The Movie


274 Comments

  1. 1
    Huntwatch says:

    Makes a change from the Co-op witch hunt whilst the coalition turns the country to ratshit.
    Too much Rampant Rabbit eh Guido?

  2. 2
    kmc says:

    I managed 1 minute 27 seconds before the urge to nuke the American film industry once and for all became irresistible.

    Apart from the minor problem of not actually having any nukes. Which is just as well for Brad Pitt, because the urge to nuke him became irresistible about half way through World War Z

  3. 3
    P l e b says:

    Is Brad Pitt a descendent of William?

  4. 4
    Paul Flowers says:

    I never really cared for rock ‘n’ roll, though.

  5. 5
    Tachybaptus says:

    Welcome to order-order, a veritable Jurassic Park a cornucopia of verminous, parasitic , parvenu, lickspittle, non empathetic sociopathic swivel-eyed lunatics, these reductive whores of Social Darwinist voodoo economics, who wishe to reduce every aspect of humanity to mere units of production, who despise ordinary people, who see their only value as an entry in a profit and loss account, to be exploited by the human garbage that this sub-strata of humanity are, and the corporate fascism they serve. One only has to read the comments by Tory shills posted daily on Guido’s blog to see the true face of their malignant, cancerous moral degeneracy, and in that, they at least serve a purpose. I would recommend the guillotine but much like the gargoyles on a church spire, they represent a grotesque warning of how deformed one’s humanity can become. These end of pier, amateur hour economists, these neo-liberal whores are, nothing more than errand boys sent by banksters, rentiers and hedge fund managers, to collect a bill that we’ve already paid in full. Long may they continue as a reminder of supreme idiocy and malevolence.

  6. 6
    kmc says:

    The younger one or the elder one?

  7. 7
    Medicated Milliband says:

    Try saying that with a mouth full of Jaffa cakes!

  8. 8
    Robert Catesby says:

    It’s a fair cop, guv’ner.

  9. 9
    Get the Piano wire says:

    Go stick your head up a dead dog’s bum

  10. 10
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    Are you Ed Balls or Rev Flowers PR SPAD

  11. 11
    Selfish Gene says:

    Yes

  12. 12
    Orwell says:

    Lefty bankers good
    4 legs bad

  13. 13
    Labour Gov & the Iraqui Dead says:

    Who the fuck are you calling liberal, bell-end.

  14. 14
    Geddy, Alex and Neil says:

    Why is this blog bothered about Canadian politicians?

  15. 15
    Major Trousers says:

    I refuse to look at fat people. Can’t stand all that. Illness, some say. I say bollocks to that! Ill discipline is what it is. Not a chance I’ll be watching, no thank you very much.

  16. 16
    George Bernard Shaw says:

    “who wishe to reduce every aspect of humanity to mere units of production”

    Whereas Socialism wants to conscript everyone into being mere units of production, and shoot anyone who tries to escape.

  17. 17
    Jack Dromey's Big Black Cock says:

    Fat crackheads are always a good pull on this blog, second only to Gordon bashing. Get with it.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Nice one, George!

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Exactly.

  20. 20
    Blog Regular says:

    Projectionism is the dominant mental state of the left. Keep pretending we represent your fascist fantasies.

  21. 21
    The Red Army Choir says:

    Now you have got that off your chest, will you show us your tits?

  22. 22
    Happy Large Rooster says:

    I think it looks quite good.

  23. 23
    Jack Dromey says:

    You don’t want to know about my fascist fantasies.. Ed Balls in his SS uniform, waving his big..

    Like I said, you don’t want to know.

  24. 24
    cured lefty says:

    If your that fed up why don’t you fuck off

  25. 25
    Prezza says:

    Canada’s answer to John Prescott.

    When Lard Prescott left his government flat it required a “deep clean” costing £3k.

    If the cleaners were paid £10 a hour that’s 300 hours of work to clear up the mess he left behind.

  26. 26
    Pte Baldrick says:

    Yes indeed sir, nothing a daily five mile run and standard army rations wouldn’t cure toot-sweet.

  27. 27
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    This is the liberal lefts approach to dealing with Ford.

    What is embarrassing for the US is that a lot of its films are shot on location in Toronto and other parts of Canada because they get healthy tax breaks.

    What is embarrassing for Canada is Canada.

  28. 28
    Mark Carney: Canada's answer to Rev Flowers says:

  29. 29
    Podiceps says:

    He’s not Tachybaptus, anyway. What a shower of redundant verbiage.

  30. 30
    nellnewman. says:

    Well, drugs, drunk, freedom to party puts me in mind of the co-op bank and the labour party – can’t think why!! But it brings to mind flowers, ericjoyce, and chuckusyamoney to name just some!!

  31. 31
    Troll Watch says:

    This is the fake Tachybaptus.

    To the imposter: Libertarian if you please, and you forgot to mention that on current affairs issues, this blog and most of its readers are generally right.

  32. 32
    Peter North: Would not appeal to Dromey because he's white says:

    Rob Ford’s performance is quite funny, and when you understand where a lot of the retarded liberal left ideology that infects this country comes from Canada, it sort of makes sense.

    Canada is land of the fabians, the nonce George Bernard Shaw fucked off there for example, and is still held in high regard. Shaw is one of the shittest things the UK ever produced: Similar level to Ed Balls.

    Then you have the only real interest which the UK should have with Canada, and that is the lunatic retard that was out lying through his cheap tacky teeth on C4 the other night, Mr. Mark Carney: He is Canada’s equivalent of Gordon Brown with better poo flinging control and tailor.

  33. 33
    Dromey says:

    Say that C word again. Long hairy arms, long hairy c… coming Harriet.

  34. 34
    I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

    Do you think we care..?

  35. 35
    Lost in the wilderness says:

    I’ve got to say this or I’ll explode. Ed Milliband is such a vacuous fucktard.

  36. 36
    Harriet says:

    Don’t forget that Balls needs to black up dear.

    — Sent from iPad

  37. 37
    Immigrant Watch says:

    Bringing cultural diversity and enrichment to Lambeth

    Two people suspected of holding three women as slaves for more than 30-years at a house in Lambeth, south London … the pair, who are not British nationals have now also been arrested on suspicion of immigration offences.

  38. 38
    Ctesibus : Godfather of Suck / Blow says:

    Implode ?

  39. 39
    Old Hal says:

    Murdocher has a pile invested in 21st Centuary Fox, he bought 20th Centuary Fox because of all the library of films it had so the could broadcast them of Sky, you all the old stuff and he had a ready made Fox TV , it was a good move by the old scroat. You wouldn’t nuke Fox would you, Guido hopes to work there for the big bucks

  40. 40
    Lost in the wilderness says:

    I’ve always been told ‘Better out than in’!

  41. 41
    Canada Watch says:

    Let’s not forget the other wonderful cultural export from Canada, second only to fertilizer…

    What a mong.

  42. 42
    Old Hal says:

    Let’s face it Paul chuck, you didn’t really care for the Coop

  43. 43
    Jack says:

    Why should I?

  44. 44

    Perhaps we could get Jimmy to guest-edit the blog for a day?

  45. 45
    Blog Regular says:

    No, it would have been outsourced to someone like Mitie cleaning, but probably not them because they know what they are doing, so probably a hastily set up cleaning division of G4S or Capita. Two cleaners would have been paid £6.50 an hour for eight hours and the rest would have gone on admin costs.

  46. 46
    Newsfox Mong says:

    Dear Mr M urdoch,

    I have been running an satirical blog site based in the UK which makes light fun of current affairs. No one reads it and it isn’t funny, but I feel, like M edhi H asan would say, that this is not important.

    The link has been posted many times on the order order blog site where it has received favorable reviews.

    Would like to write light hearted satire for the US audience. They might find my material and give it a rating above genocide, unlike the tough crowd in the UK.

    Yours sincerely, not really (haha?)

    Newsfox Mong

  47. 47
    Old Hal says:

    What, playing with your best friend again?

  48. 48
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    That is a radical idea, which is best kept on the drawing board sir.

  49. 49
    Blog Regular says:

    That’s the first Bieber video I have seen where I actually felt for the guy. That cameraman summed up everything that has become obnoxious about Britain.

  50. 50
    Cynic says:

    Hes a banker

  51. 51
    Press Association says:

    George Osborne has announced an independent investigation into the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s hair.

  52. 52
    Sir William Wayde says:

    What about the third of May, 2086?

  53. 53
    Jimmy Saville says:

    Now then now then, I have my own hostipal in Hell where I get to guest edit all the naughty socialists that end up here. Owzabout that then guys and gals?

  54. 54
    nellnewman. says:

    Are you suggesting hatty harpic has long hairy arms?

  55. 55
    Old Hal says:

    Poor Erica Pickles, you would subject the porcine chap to a strict diet regime and a lot of exercise

  56. 56
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Ed is like that awkward employee who is not quite bad enough to sack.

  57. 57
    The Chancellor's Comb says:

    Ed Balls.

  58. 58
    Old Hal says:

    They probably charged £20+ per/hr more like

  59. 59
    Canada Watch says:

    But the little cock was only riled because he was told to fuck off back to America.

    Bieber is shit.

  60. 60
    Rev. Flowers says:

    I never forget a balls…or a cock!

    – Sent from iPaidrentboys

  61. 61
    broderick crawford says:

    you re far too intelligent for us lot Tachy

    we don t even know the meaning of some of those esoteric words you use .
    by the way you forgot to include the word guttersnipe somewhere in your critique .

    it s a rarely used but very effective ice breaker at social gatherings .

  62. 62
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Just came across an old Co-operative members (Dividend) book that belonged to my parents, it’s dated from 1946, shares £1, transactions written in copperplate handwriting, entry for July 1958; amount in society £5, 5s, 11p, interest 13 pence, Dividend £2, 3s, 9p.
    Where/when did it all go wrong?.

  63. 63
    Your Shrink says:

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder

  64. 64
    Old Hal says:

    Justin Bieber, who on earth is he W H’s new friend? must be my age.

  65. 65
    hello Petal says:

    I managed to know nothing about Owen Jones and now Justin Bieber until I started reading this blog, thanks for that.

  66. 66
    Black Balls says:

    Ed should quit whilst he’s behind.

  67. 67
    I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

    If I may be so bold, you are quite welcome to insert my phallus within your esophagus.

    You’d like that.

  68. 68
    Old Hal says:

    Boris Johnson

  69. 69
    Ed Miliband says:

    I do not want a judge led inquiry into the Co-op bank crisis.

  70. 70
    Canada's Best Export says:

  71. 71

    Well Russell Brand made an arse of himself, didn’t he? I mean even more of an arse than he normally manages to make. Whom the gods would destroy, they first make them edit blogs… :-)

  72. 72
    broderick crawford says:

    Ahh yeah but you must admit ….

    Allison Crowe and Celine Dion … two positive Canuck exports

    Phwoarrr….Hallelujah !!!!

  73. 73
    Blog Regular says:

    The cronycontractor charged £1000 per hour but the people who actually did the work are unlikely to have been paid more than minimum wage and probably weren’t British. They won’t have minded working for so little because they were probably FSB agents filling the place with bugs and MI5 would have been oblivious to it all because they were too busy selling all our commercial secrets to the CIA.

  74. 74

    One thing that this admittedly harebrained idea would ensure is that we would get decently punctuated, grammatical English with good syntax and no spelling mistakes.

  75. 75
    nellnewman. says:

    They are obviously a bit of a mixed up family given that she got mrsdromey elected in a labour constituency that was running an all women shortlist.

  76. 76
    nellnewman. says:

    I think you are very unfair to call his blank sheet of paper vacuous.

  77. 77
    Blog Regular says:

    Old socialism was good men and women being subtly manipulated by one sinister consp!racy.

    Modern socialism is a lot of sinister idiots being overtly manipulated by too many incompatible consp!racies.

    That, I think is what has gone wrong.

  78. 78
    nellnewman. says:

    Oh well that sounds very Metropolitan Police – folks commit serious crimes against other human being over decades and they get arrested for immigration offences !!

  79. 79
    nellnewman. says:

    Why was he dressed as ‘where’s wally’?

  80. 80
    broderick crawford says:

    are you still watching Peter North loops ?

    that porn is even older than Rocco Siffredi s nutter cameos .

    Get with it . Try Fake Taxi if you want reality sluts .

  81. 81
    Universal Hiss says:

    That’s me fucked then.

  82. 82
    I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

    The best thing in Canada is Whistler.

  83. 83

    We have just passed the time when JFK was assassinated in Dallas at 12:30 CST (18:30 GMT). He was declared dead at 13:00 CST.

    Unusually, I had gone to bed that night, after a long journey, so only heard the news when I awoke the next morning. I did not believe it at first.

  84. 84
    nellnewman. says:

    Neither do I I want an Inquiry into labour’s links with the Co-op Bank and it’s subsidiaries at least since 1997 and possibly before. And I suspect most of their depositers and members of the general public who bank with them want it too!!

  85. 85

    I take it you are typing this in the metaphorical sense. ;-)

  86. 86
    nellnewman. says:

    I was 11 years old SC and remember being riveted to the news on a black and white tv. One of the first things that interested me in the world and politics.

    Amazing that his death is still controversial and questioned.

  87. 87
    broderick crawford says:

    yeah and the kicker is ….

    THEY VE BEEN RELEASED ON BAIL TILL JANUARY HAVING HANDED IN THEIR PASSPORTS

    Hello ?

    Foreign nationals who know other foreign nationals who can presumably supply false documentation for a price ..??

    Just enough time to sell their UK assets and say bye bye Annersley hello Asuncion .

    But they d never do that would they … it would be breaking bail conditions !!

  88. 88
    Blog Regular says:

    And bailed!

  89. 89
    Living Next Door to Roma says:

    Much prefer slap n tickle.

    Oop’s nearly forgot the ‘ ‘

  90. 90
    broderick crawford says:

    was/ is the “wounded ” cameraman phil mitchell s cousin ?

    Is he soon to debut on Eastenders ?

  91. 91
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion &Kill All Eco-loons says:

    This is Canada today. Where did it all go wrong?

  92. 92
    V For Viennetta says:

    Christmas at Maggie’s like the good old days, I presume?

  93. 93
    Julian AssSandwich says:

    Is justice catching up with you? Would you like to swap a few years in prison for a lifetime of sitting in a room that young women try really hard to avoid? Then come to the Equadorian Embassy. Its just like real socialism, but with less turnips.

  94. 94
    Universal Hiss says:

    For some reason I though of To Build a Fire,after glancing at that.

    My fail, as London was an American.

    I like to think of that novella as an an analogue of the failure of socialism but I could be wrong/ drunk/on ketamine.

  95. 95
    broderick crawford says:

    Schroddy you arse ache .. you re back !

    Have you bin crook if so are you full dinkum or merely fair dinkum .

    Don t rush the convalescence !

  96. 96
    nellnewman. says:

    Exactly . They imprisoned and seriously abused three people for 30 years plus and they themselves have been bailed. Our police system is inadequate and bad!

  97. 97
    Universal Hiss says:

    Smiles & waves.

  98. 98
    hello Petal says:

    I don’t remember my location first hearing of JFK assassination, I remember Geography teacher telling us about the Cuban missile crisis and that we might have a nuclear war. “Atoms are really tiny” he said and I was under the impression for a while that Atom bombs would fit in a matchbox.

  99. 99
    V For Viennetta says:

    Don’t worry, neither does Gideon.

  100. 100
    broderick crawford says:

    …… and the 354 page committe report concludes it is not real hair but a discarded Frank Sinatra toupee.

  101. 101
    Jimmy Saville says:

    She’s down here with me. We’re really looking forward to getting our hands on Kinnock and Scargill. Tick tock tick tock.

  102. 102
    Living Next Door to Roma says:

    We have new floor tiles in our bathroom to that pattern.

  103. 103
    V For Viennetta says:

    Aren’t they a bit old for you?

  104. 104
    nellnewman. says:

    +++Laugh+++ atoms really small so no concept of what nuclear might really mean – and the biology teacher talking in guarded terms about rabbits procreating and stuff and amoeba and things which meant absoluiely nothing to us in terms of sex education!

    They were the innocent days! I wouldn’t swap them for anything!!!

  105. 105
    Podiceps says:

    I was crossing a bridge across a mountain valley between two Swiss villages when a man coming the other way told me that someone had been shot, but he wasn’t sure whether it was Kennedy or the Pope. I said, Oh I do hope it was the Pope. Which was unkind, but no one liked the new Paul VI much (indeed, the Italians said he had the evil eye).

    Looking back, it’s clear that dying was the best career move the appalling Kennedy ever made. The man was a vile sexual predator, corrupt to the core, and let no one forget that he started the Vietnam War. If he had remained in office for his full term, heaven knows what might have happened. Johnson was no angel but he was an infinitely better president.

  106. 106
    kmc says:

    What? You don’t think he’s dead? ;-)

  107. 107
    Podiceps says:

    І wаѕ сrоѕѕіng а brіdgе асrоѕѕ а mоuntаіn νаllеу bеtwееn twо Swіѕѕ νіllаgеѕ whеn а mаn соmіng thе оthеr wау tоld mе thаt ѕоmеоnе hаd bееn ѕhоt, but hе wаѕn’t ѕurе whеthеr іt wаѕ Kеnnеdу оr thе Роре. І ѕаіd, Оh І dо hоре іt wаѕ thе Роре. Whісh wаѕ unkіnd, but nо оnе lіkеd thе nеw Раul VІ muсh (іndееd, thе Іtаlіаnѕ ѕаіd hе hаd thе еνіl еуе).
    Lооkіng bасk, іt’ѕ сlеаr thаt dуіng wаѕ thе bеѕt саrееr mоνе thе арраllіng Kеnnеdу еνеr mаdе. Τhе mаn wаѕ а νіlе ѕеxuаl рrеdаtоr, соrruрt tо thе соrе, аnd lеt nо оnе fоrgеt thаt hе ѕtаrtеd thе Vіеtnаm Wаr. Іf hе hаd rеmаіnеd іn оffісе fоr hіѕ full tеrm, hеаνеn knоwѕ whаt mіght hаνе hарреnеd. Јоhnѕоn wаѕ nо аngеl but hе wаѕ аn іnfіnіtеlу bеttеr рrеѕіdеnt.

  108. 108
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    He acts a bit like Rev Flowers.

  109. 109
    Blog Regular says:

    The UK is slowly turning into a hillbilly horror film.

  110. 110
    hello Petal says:

    yes growing up with the idea that at any minute everything could be annihilated did colour my youthful thinking.

  111. 111
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Aha!, “after a long journey”, you seem remarkably well informed.

  112. 112
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Are we supposed to know who Rob Ford is, dear?

  113. 113
    Jimmy Saville says:

    You’re never too old to scream.

  114. 114
    Harriet says:

    I just wish I could have a white one.

  115. 115
    Jimmy Saville says:

    Now then now then, Maggie spends eternity with commies and I never get to play with anyone under sixty. But thats Hell for you.

  116. 116
    Ed Balls says:

    I have never heard of the Rev Flowers, however I am proud to have received the £50,000 donation he sanctioned and that was paid to my office, although I have since called Flowers a liar, a rent boy user and a druggy, but I will not pay the money back.
    I am also proud of the way I blatantly lie all of the time.
    It’s all a smear and everyone else’s fault.

  117. 117
    cured lefty says:

    Please don’t go down memory lane on jfk jokehann harri will be forced to admit he was at the heart of the conspiracy Oh gawd

  118. 118
    Frank Sinatra says:

    I get no kick from champagne.

  119. 119
  120. 120
    Anon says:

    Yes, but on the bright side it inoculated us against the modern age.

    Being warned that Al-Queda might blow up a hotel or bus is SFA to those of us who lived under the constant threat of thermonuclear annihilation and the end of our species.

  121. 121
    Herman van Rumpboy says:

    LOOKS LIKE THE UKRAINIANS PREFER RUSSIA TO BRUSSELS – WISE MOVE.

  122. 122
    Podiceps says:

    What nonsense. Everyone knows it was the Queen Mother.

  123. 123
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Anyone who attempth to link the Labour Party to our donor Rev Flowerth ith thimply a thit-thtirrer who ith attempting a vithiouth witch hunt.

    Oh yeth.

  124. 124
    Podiceps says:

    Difficult even for him, as he would have been minus 15 at the time.

  125. 125
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    It’s all at the Co-op now.

  126. 126
    nellnewman. says:

    Well anon it has always seems a bit odd to me that alkyada would think disrupting the odd london underground would have any effect after Londoners had lived through the Blitz.

  127. 127
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    OFFICIAL: I AM A LAZY FUCKER.

  128. 128
    Ailurophile says:

    The Honour Guard at Kennedy’s graveside was provided by an Officer Cadet class from the Irish Army, flown over at Jacqueline’s request. Never before had a Foreign army participated in such an event on American soil.

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    kennedy was irish mafia who managed to persuade the italian mobs to back him… then once in office he tried to fuck them. you know how the rest went and the kennedy clan seem to have had bad luck for fucking decades since that point.

  130. 130
    nellnewman. says:

    Given a choice of Russia or the EUSSR – they’ve probably chosen well!

  131. 131
    Commie-spotter says:

    More to the point, Elsie; does your your comment fit in with this blog’s five minute plan?

  132. 132
    V For Viennetta says:

    It was a very cold winter.

  133. 133
    IrREVerend Flowers, unCo-operative Nonce says:

    Was this about the time you felt stirrings below?

  134. 134
    Ukraine says:

    Join the EU? And get flooded with Roma?

    Only a fucking imbecile would allow that to happen.

  135. 135

    Not sure I’m reading your banter correctly, old boy.

  136. 136
    hello Petal says:

    I really shouldn’t link the two but we refused to negotiate with provos until they started bombing London

  137. 137
    Jess Sayin says:

    But the londoners living through the blitz, cor strike me down,were not the same as the non indigenous shower who would be on the bus today, Nell. Given their propensity for all things superficial, would this bunch not wave the white flag immediately?

  138. 138
    Anon says:

    Exactly, Nell.

    But the media today reports any minor hindrance as “the end of humanity”.

    For example, about 440 British troops died in Afghanistan – and there’s much hand-wringing – but tens of thousands died every day in WWI. In fact in WWI 300 British were killed every day by snipers, even when there wasn’t any other conflict going on.

  139. 139
    V For Viennetta says:

    Always thought it was Professor Plum in the library with the lead pipe but each to their own.

  140. 140
    hello Petal says:

    but on the bright side they’ve got Bono

  141. 141
    Jess Sayin says:

    It was the gaz, stupid.

  142. 142
    cured lefty says:

    When did small details like that ever task johann

  143. 143
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    I’m not sure, dear. My lap is telling me it needs more ramming.

  144. 144
    Jess Sayin says:

    Wot`s the difference between a turd and Clingy?

  145. 145
    Bono says:

    Every time oi click moi fingers a President dies.

  146. 146
    hello Petal says:

    there was an American joke about a woman who went into a coma during JFK’s presidency and woke up during Nixon’s presidency and her first words were
    “how is the President?”
    ” I’m afraid that the president is dead”
    “Don’t tell me the vice president is running the country”

    but American jokes are a bit odd.

  147. 147
    Joe Public says:

    Witchunt?
    Cocaine, rent boys, excessive expenses, corruption, incompetent placeman set in place to funnel money to a political party, taking over a bank to launder political money, an “ethical” bank on the brink of collapse, incompetent regulators, venal politicians, hedge funds waiting in the wings.
    What Witchunt?

  148. 148
    nellnewman. says:

    How do you annoy Heather Mills?

    Nick Clegg.

  149. 149
    nellnewman. says:

    David Cameron and Nick Clegg walk into a bookshop and ask for a book on coalitions.

    The storekeeper says, “It’s over there on the left… sorry, I mean the right… No! I tell a lie. We sold out.”

  150. 150
    I've got something in my pocket for you... says:

    Read the post with Boris Johnson’s voice. It makes it easier to understand.

  151. 151
    Billie Botty-BØwden @kebabtime.com says:

    I cant believe theres still 18 months till election guido !! How are going you to fill our blogs up till May 2015 ??

    Mine is maintenance-free luckily

    You doesnt have to answer if you banned yourself again .

    Billie x

  152. 152
    Guidobreakslittlestories says:

    Hey Fawkes, be a hero and report something, anything, on the secret Muslim head-hacker trial that no one appears to be reporting on, anywhere. Stop preening and keep up.

  153. 153
    Jemima Khan do it every day says:

    I think he is lovely and has something I WANT.

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    Thanks, Billie. Please don’t forget to buy The Sun on Sunday. It is, really, a cracking read.

  155. 155
    Pundit Too says:

    Johnson did us all a favour by treating Harold Wilson like a retarded schoolboy, which increased Wilson’s inferiority complex.
    Let us also not forget the Bay of Pigs debacle – mainly hushed up.

  156. 156
    Fleet Street Socks says:

    Because the media know they can’t get away with contempt of court. They get away with whatever they can get away with until they get caught. Things like hacking a murdered girl’s phone.

  157. 157
    hello Petal says:

    Scientists may be able to confirm ?
    I think it is true that knowledge is passed via DNA ( whatever that is )
    I think I saw that it is true in test rats.
    I do believe this explains the disjointedness. We have had hundreds of years of social development ( and especially in the last 40 years), which has brought us to where we are today, whereas the Islamics have just blundered into the modern era by mistake and are feeling a bit lost and so are making a lot of bluster.

  158. 158
    Pundit Too says:

    Yes but a Kennedy is now US Ambassador to Japan. Watch this lone Kennedy female, but I hope she has not got the sexual predator genes.

  159. 159
    Billie Botty-BØwden @kebabtime.com says:

    No it aint giudo . Id rather do triple anal than spend twenty pence on that shite

  160. 160
    Just Saying. says:

    What is more interesting is the nationality of the old couple accused of keeping 3 female slaves. Betting is heavy on Saudi, Kuwaiti or Pakistani.
    Shrouded in secrecy so it must be truly sensitive.

  161. 161
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    HHHEEELLLLLLPPP !!!!

  162. 162
    David Cameron says:

    I went into KFC today and ordered a meal, but when I opened it Nick Clegg was sat in there.

    I took it back to the counter and said, “Sorry mate, this is wrong.”

    “What’s wrong with it?” He replied.

    “Well I ordered a Boneless Box, what you’ve given me is spineless c’unt.”

  163. 163
    hello Petal says:

    When Islamics sleep what do they dream about ?
    Has anybody made a study of this ?
    somebody should do it, would be quite interesting I think to do a survey of dreams and compare the differences between the cultures.
    I give this idea away for free.

  164. 164
    Cameron Joke Time says:

    Yeah, and you know Nick Clegg looks odd ? It’s because he’s on drugs. Ho Ho Ho.

  165. 165
    David, a Prime Minister says:

    Comment of the year, Billie.

  166. 166
    Edukashun Edukashion Educachun says:

    who wishe to reduce every aspect

    FYI – It’s wish

  167. 167
    GrindR says:

    You are only 3 miles from an ecclesiastical bear twink.

  168. 168
    Jack Dromey says:

    There is no way that will fit in my gaggagagagagagg…..giqiuywe^&&(*%^&$%^$%

  169. 169

    @Podiceps

    There is something infinitely preferable in a politician having his way with adoring young ladies who wanted to be bedded by someone famous than for him to do the same thing to the entire country. I agree with all your criticisms except for the sexual predator one. Power is an aphrodisiac and most of his dalliances seemed to have been with willing participants.

  170. 170
    Tory Rapid Rebuttal Sealant Team says:

    Vote Oth7 get Red Ed

    Oh Bollox

  171. 171
    Narrow your selection says:

    Sunni or Shiite?

  172. 172
    hello Petal says:

    but a slave ? what would they dream about ? would they be free in their dreams or would their dreams be enslaved also ?

  173. 173
    An Imam says:

    That line of thought is so 9th Century.

  174. 174
    hello Petal says:

    is that like C of E or Catholic ?

  175. 175
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Smithson, what is 38 – 33, boy?

  176. 176

    Three things:

    1. Travel broadens the mind.

    2. The events of 50 years ago today, together with the publication of thousands of books, not to mention articles on those events in Dallas, gives even the dullest of minds ample opportunity to become informed.

    3. As previously mentioned, I returned from Conakry in the Republic of Guinea. Today, I drove from Luxembourg to the River Inn near its confluence with the River Salzach. I know that Luxembourg tends to conjure up thoughts of tax shelter but the naughtiest thing on the financial front which I did today was to fill my tank with diesel at 99.5p per litre.

  177. 177
    Narrow your selection says:

    Yeah sort of but with more beheadings.

  178. 178
    Call me Dave, future failure says:

    Too* many Libdems make a clusterfuck

    * more than zero

  179. 179
    Institute of Dream Analysis says:

    You couldn’t give that idea away for free.

  180. 180
  181. 181
    hello Petal says:

    thinking about it i would really like to see a telly programme about that but I don’t have a telly so i can’t, I would watch it on the internet later tho’

  182. 182
    The BBC on the Co-Op bank scandal and links to the top of the Labour Party says:

    “We stand ready to do whatever is required to protect our masters the Labour Party, their banker friends, all the soft loans and donations made”

  183. 183
    Podiceps says:

    For Kennedy’s sexual habits, try this, aptly from the Spectator:
    h**p://goo.gl/VurxL5
    (As usual, I have to substitute * for t to avoid getting permanently barred under this moniker.)

  184. 184
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  185. 185

    It doesn’t help. I even tried Ben Jonson using the voice of Silenus from Oberon, the Faery Prince, at it’s most sombre and regret I am none the wiser.

  186. 186
    hello Petal says:

    it is so funny if it was not so sad. The people who have been getting themselves involved in the teaching profession for the last 30 years are society’s failures. People who are unable to succeed in the proper world. who find it difficult to comprehend the proper world but have received instruction about how to think and they encompass all this with all of their being because it gives them a sense of value and some new words. These teachers that the left have created are dangerous and should not be allowed near children.

  187. 187
    UKIP or bust says:

    With nothing better to occupy my idle mind I was just thinking, I wonder how long it will take the BBC to erase Jimmy Savile from history?

  188. 188
    Handycock says:

    I agree, a brilliant film about a brilliant politician who inspires me. We are surrounded by inspirational people – Rob Ford, Paul Flowers, Vladimir, Ilhya, Bob Mugabe, and a host of others who’s names I can’t remember but mostly live in eastern Europe and western Asia. Boaz.

  189. 189
    The BBC on the Co-Op bank scandal and links to the top of the Labour Party says:

    Who?…

    oh and what bank?

  190. 190
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    POPTWAS – doesn’t want to link Labour’s banking reforms and supine regulators.

    PollyToynbee
    22 November 2013 5:22pm

    Recommend
    27
    I did the same Deborah, moved from HSBC to the “ethical” Co-op – And I’m spitting furious! Run into the ground by useless regulators and a fake Methodist dope head – then worse still, taken over by hedge-funds. They say it’s easy changing banks – but not if you have odds and ends of freelance income. Time to move again, though? Nationwide?

  191. 191
    Podiceps says:

    No need to erase: people forget by themselves. They have already forgotten what the last government was like, for example, and will elect the same shower of shit again.

  192. 192

    Yes, it rings a bell and I also read the Scotsman article from which it was taken. In itself, it is not acceptable to a modern mindset. In the context of the day and with the Cuban Missile crisis recently resolved, some may take the flippant view which I made above as being a reasonable compromise.

  193. 193
    The Loony Left says:

    Education, education, education Excoriation, excoriation, excoriation.

  194. 194
    The BBC are cunts says:

    Who ?

  195. 195
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

  196. 196
    The rich immersive community learning space experience says:

    Fuck me.

    Vote UKIP.

  197. 197
    Bomber O'ChiMinh says:

    Fine looking fellow, on the parade, on far left.

    Is it Lt Pinochet?

  198. 198
    hello Petal says:

    it is a depressing letter but I am inclined to give Mrs Small the benefit of the doubt over one letter and her confusion over her serious position in society of controller of lots of little developing minds and the instructions handed down to her from on high. I am sure that she will, in retrospect, feel shame about this communication and strengthen her resolve to attempt to assimilate her charges into the English society rather than create a mish mash of fuckwittery

  199. 199
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Sadly, that won’t make an iota of difference. We’ll just get BullyBoy Balls and Commissar Miliband.

  200. 200
    I give up says:

    “Refusal to allow your child to attend this trip will result in a Racial Discrimination note being attached to your child’s education record, which will remain on their file throughout their school career.”

    The bitch needs shooting.

  201. 201
    One-term Dave (dragging the Tories to their grave) says:

    Best you vote Conservative, because I will stop this sort of thing.

    Guff-haw haw haw haw haw haw haw haw haw haw!

  202. 202
    I give up says:

    Nope.

    The bitch needs shooting.

  203. 203
    Fishy says:

    Agreed.

    Tantamount to child abuse

  204. 204
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Oh My God! [sic], “refusal to allow your child to attend this trip will result in a Racial Discrimination note being attached to your child’s education report which will remain on this file through out their school career”, Trip to a Gulag on the cards?, in my primary school days we just got to go on a trip to the Lake District (voluntary), Wainright never threatened us with none attendance.

  205. 205
    hello Petal says:

    I’m thinking that she wrote that without comprehending what she was saying.
    If she knew exactly what she was saying then I agree she should not be in teaching.

  206. 206
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Donations to charity only (Ed Balls £50,000).

  207. 207
    White rabbit says:

    What a sinister note. Quite shocking.

  208. 208
    albacore says:

    And this wank, she reckons, is enshrined in law?
    Summat else we have to thank the E U for?
    Let’s guess, what comes next, now – concentration camps
    And infidel kids flayed to shade table lamps?

  209. 209
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    No Cole.

  210. 210
    hello Petal says:

    who’s got Herzog’s phone number?

  211. 211
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    Rev Flower says ” I don’t need to see a big black dong to get it up – I’m self raising.

  212. 212
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    “The bitch needs shooting.”

    In front of her family!

  213. 213
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    LIBERAL DEMOCRATS: WE ARE AWAY WITH THE FAIRIES…

  214. 214
    Universal Hiss says:

    If she didn’t understand what she was writing then she shouldn’t be in teaching.

    Shoot the bitch is possibly a little harsh.Sacking, with the loss of all pension rights seems more suitable.

  215. 215
    Feel the enrichment says:

    Corruption rife in the Pakistani community, says minister

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10469448/Corruption-rife-in-the-Pakistani-community-says-minister.html

    Corruption in parts of the Pakistani community is “endemic” and a growing problem that politicians have underestimated, the Government’s chief legal adviser has said.

  216. 216
    Feel the cultural enrichment says:

    Corruption rife in the P’akistani community, says minister

    http://tinyurl.com/mprmppz

    Corruption in parts of the P’akistani community is “endemic” and a growing problem that politicians have underestimated, the Government’s chief legal adviser has said.

  217. 217
    Adolf Hitler says:

    I approve.

  218. 218
    Universal Hiss says:

    I take it they were not going to see a few Quaker artifacts then.

    When has the worship of whatever takes your fancy got anything to do with racism? We all know what particular religion she was talking about.

    I’ve changed my mind.

    She should be shot & then shot some more.

  219. 219
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    There was a time when this sort of bull shit just didn’t happen.

    Children in years 4 to 6 would learn about commodity production in far off lands.

    Religious Education is a bull shit subject at school which really is a cancer on the national curriculum. Especially when it is being used by the likes of Mrs Small to push a heretical agenda.

    Why not teach the kids about the Christian virtue of turning the other cheek. And teach that to all faiths who happen to be in the classroom. And leave the visit optional for parents.

    If such logic is not understood, digested and followed, then this head teacher and the religious education department should be crucified in the school grounds by the righteous parents as a warning to others, and to teach the children what crucifixion is all about and why the Roman’s did it to arse holes who p!ssed them off.

  220. 220
    Rich Rostrom says:

    Why is this tagged “US politics”?

    Ford is a subject of the Queen of Canada. We Yanks have plenty of crackhead mayors of our own and need no inferior foreign substitutes.

  221. 221
    Ed Miliband says:

    P’akistani community are labour voters.

    They have acted with “complete integrity”.

    How can it be otherwise?

  222. 222
    Universal Hiss says:

    & Staffordshire University is not in anyway a university as most people would understand the term. It’s a puffed up technical college.

    http://www.staffs.ac.uk/undergraduate/entry_requirements/degrees/index.jsp

    They probably excel at Islamic Studies for 7 year olds.

  223. 223
    Fuck the EU says:

    How does it feel to get fucked by Put!n van Rompuy ?

    Now say sorry to Nigel for being a mong.

  224. 224
    David Cameron says:

    You called ?

  225. 225
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    Teachers have a fairly important role which should not be ignored.

    But when they do stuff like this they need a kicking.

    This stinks to high heaven of Common Purpose, and auto-sodomizing Political Correctness.

    Perhaps all parents should stop their children from going on the trip.

    A 100% racist class should get the attention of Ofsted and this head teacher relieved whilst some more enlightened folk straighten the school out.

  226. 226
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    Ford has surpassed Kwame Kilpatrick in some ways, except Kwame dressed better. Admittedly like a pimp, but definitely spent city funds on a better wardrobe.

  227. 227
    E. Lee (Rtd) says:

    Don’t just bloviate Yankee, show us the vid.

  228. 228
    A real conservative says:

    She should be broken upon the wheel.

  229. 229
    US Watch says:

    Here is a real bad mayor: 28 Years for corruption, handed down last month.

  230. 230
    Mong Watch says:

    This makes no sense.

    You cannot be racist towards a religion.

    Repeat:

    You cannot be racist towards a religion.

  231. 231
    A Right Fucking Bastard says:

    “Ket” relaxes your anal sphincter.

    Provided you’ve had a good shit, helped by a few laxatives then you’re ready to receive all kinds of cock and then it’s not nearly so messy. Not that a load of methed-up rent-boys would care about a bit of turd anyway.

    It’s all ethical.

  232. 232
    Casual Observer 4 says:

    Slapping the deputy PM around is part of the job description, for both PM and DPM.

    Nick Clegg certainly deserves a thorough hiding.

  233. 233
    HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

    What an example , say what you like about the yanks, they know how to deal with public corruption, no cushy open prisons for them
    If only……………………………………

  234. 234
    A Right Fucking Bastard says:

    The Labour Party are all about buggery.

    If they’re not doing it to rent boys, they’re doing it to your wallet.

    By the way, did a mint and a treacle toffee melt in here?

    *sniffs fingers*

    “Sorry, love. Another pint, please”.

  235. 235
    Ed Milibiscuit says:

    She’s a bully. She’s a communist. She’s a moron.

    My kind of bigot.

  236. 236
    HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

    Any father who receives a letter like that should go down to that so called school and tear that treacherous bitch limb from limb !

  237. 237
    T May says:

    Canuck Go Home

  238. 238
    Abdul the Envelope Stuffer in Lahore says:

    You can be having as much ‘integrity’ as you can afford, Sir

  239. 239
    Lord Argos of Wilkinson's says:

    Pure evil.

    If we tolerate this, we diminish ourselves as human beings.

  240. 240
    HEARDITALLSEENITALLBEFORE says:

    Since when has it been a statuary requirement for ANYBODY to experience different cultures or religions?
    Still we have been kindly furnished with her E mail address in order to point out to her the error of her ways.

  241. 241
    The British Public says:

    This ‘teacher’ must be sacked immediately.

  242. 242
    A Right Fucking Bastard says:

    Google “perverx”.

    That’s a metaphor for socialists in action.

  243. 243
    Saki says:

    Every so often a teacher does something which is so stupid and offensive that every punk who ever burns down a school seems rational

  244. 244
    Green Greeny says:

    I blame global cooling

  245. 245
    The British Public says:

    We do not need a deputy PM.

  246. 246
    The Headline says:

    Chillaxed dickhead calls lazy liar an idle fucker shock

  247. 247
    Anonymous says:

    I bet the local branch will be all over this like a tramp on chips!

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    “Statutory requirement” Really?

    Does she understand the words she has used? Who’s indoctrinated her to use that language? (throughout the letter)

  249. 249
    E. Lee (Rtd) says:

    Some went to war to stop this sort of thing, but would the yankees listen?

  250. 250
    Jimmy says:

    Rupert’s way ahead of you

  251. 251
    Anonymous says:

    FUCKING HELL! WHAT HAS THIS COUNTRY COME TO?
    It has become clear that we can’t wait around for our useless, brainwashed politicians to do anything about this sort of thing. We need action now!
    Anyone got any ideas?

  252. 252
    inglenook says:

    …………. and Grieve talks about corruption in Pakistan????????????

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/tory-mp-mark-pritchard-the-alqaida-hunter-and-a-154anhour-contract-that-could-become-a-security-issue-8958255.html

    erm, toryboys should look nearer home – but then toryboys have got no nous

  253. 253
    Victoria Islander says:

    ….or his mother?

    The place is nice in winter when all the crap is covered in snow, but once that melts the town reverts to prime slumhood.

  254. 254
    Victoria Islander says:

    Screeching tuneless Dion? You must be stone deaf mate

  255. 255
    Fellow traveller says:

    Can Eric still get a seat on the Eurostar?

  256. 256
    Fellow traveller says:

    Well, it is better than calling it Electrolux, innit?

  257. 257
    Burgers are bad for you says:

    … in adequate and bad…

    That is the understatement of the decade.

  258. 258
  259. 259
    Burgers are bad for you says:

    … nor 85% of parliamentarians either.

  260. 260
    Burgers are bad for you says:

    Stupid bloody illiterate woman does not know the difference between ‘partake’ and ‘participate’ either.

    Just HTF do these moronic pea-brained people get to become school heads? Are there no literate folk on the selection committees any more? Are there no more literate folk under 65?

  261. 261
    Burgers are bad for you says:

    From my comment at 246 above

    Stupid bloody illiterate woman does not know the difference between ‘partake’ and ‘participate’ either.

    Just HTF do these moronic pea-brained people get to become school heads? Are there no literate folk on the selection committees any more? Are there no more literate folk under 65?

  262. 262
    An angry parent (whose kids thankfully do not attend that dog's breakfast of a school) says:

    If all the parents congregate at the school gates with protest placards she might get the message. It just might also inspire the NUT to call all the teachers in the country out on strike. The kids may thus miss a lesson or two, but at least they will be being protected from fucvits like that thick misguided “Head Teacher”.

  263. 263
    Balrick's burger bar says:

    Two envelopes’ worth please, plus a plate of fishy-head curry on the side.

  264. 264
    Balrick's burger bar says:

    Do their graduates go on to the main hospital for post grad studies?

  265. 265
    Bob Fleming says:

    Mrs Fcuking Small – who the Fcukity fcuk do you think you are?

  266. 266
    Vote status quo for change says:

    Yeh you convinced me.

    I’m sticking with the Conliblab. We don’t want those Lablibcon fellows getting in. It’ll be mass immigration, PC madness, EU this EU that, eco scams…

  267. 267
    Voting fodder says:

    The P’akistani community’s function is to produce the required number of block votes when the labour party activists blow their whistles.

    Anything else they do or don’t do will be ignored or actively covered up by the left.

    That is until the P’akistani community feel they no longer need the labour party.

  268. 268
    Staffordshire Death Centre says:

    But helping waycist pre-windrushers to the grave is only speeding up the process of diversity.

  269. 269
    The elephant in the room says:

    Just don’t try too hard to remember where you put him.

  270. 270
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    The worst thing about Canada is that it’s so politically correct that it makes our own dear shit-hole look like 1930s Germany!

  271. 271
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Mam says it’s past your bedtime.

  272. 272
    Tom Catesby. says:

    £20 per hour, that’s just for the flats they hadn’t cleaned.

  273. 273
    You're backing a Loser, Mrs. Small says:

    Methinks Mrs. Small will be getting some fan mail, after this appearance!

  274. 274
    broderick crawford says:

    Roy Hodgson Found Crying In A Cupboard

    England manager and clueless fuckbag Roy Hodgson was found crying hysterically after losing to Germany’s reserve side.

    The former Liverpool boss, who was wearing women’s make up, had to have mascara wiped from his face.

    A source close to the England camp revealed Hodgson had drank a bottle of white wine and sent a series of inappropriate texts messages to former romantic liaisons.

    The source said: “Roy is obviously upset at how shite the national side are.

    “He actually thought they could go to the World Cup and not embarrass themselves. Unfortunately, it will now be the equivalent of going to a civilised dinner party with a person who has a dick on his face.

    A spokesperson for mental health charity, Don’t Kill Yourself, has reached out to Hodgson.

    Their statement read: “After hearing the news of Roy Hodgson’s break down, we would suggest he refrain from picking players like Tom Cleverly, just because they play for Man Utd, and that he show some balls and man the fuck up.”


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