November 22nd, 2013

Special Offer of the Day

Arena Flowers wins for their outstanding effort at shoehorning Rev Flowers into a promotional offer. Promo code “crystalmethodist”…


  1. 1
    WelshRacer says:

    Not to be sniffed at.


  2. 2
  3. 3
    Voter says:

    Isn’t he a pansy?


  4. 4
    Ed Balls MP says:


    • 8
      Ed Balls says:

      I have never met this Doner in the course of day to day business. I may have briefly met with this Doner at some evening event, possibly about 3am but events are hazy.


  5. 5
    the bishop of tooting says:

    Perhaps a nosegay would be appropriate.


  6. 7
    Romanian Goat says:

    My master and his many friends from the village often chuckle about Britain’s promo-code “Benefits2014″.

    See you soon!


    • 10
      Rev Flowers says:

      I’m wearing my wellies so once I get your rear legs down them, there will be no escape.


    • 13
      One-term Dave (dragging the Tories to their grave) says:

      Oh jolly good! You and your master will add some wonderful rustic charm to any pleasant village in England, and I’m committed to bulldozing the countryside to build hundreds of thousands of homes for you all. It’ll be spiffing!

      Toodle pip!


      • 18
        Call me Dave, future failure says:

        Agreed. I can picture it now – Sat in a country pub around the fire with a pint of real ale, while the charming Romanian immigrant singer sings some lament to a loved one who spurned his charms.

        Simply charming what?


        • 24
          One-term Dave (dragging the Tories to their grave) says:

          Sounds simply spiffing!

          I’d better make sure I don’t leave my daughter behind again, though! Gufff-haw haw haw haw haw!


        • 26
          I love being enriched says:

          Sounds divine. Just remember to tell the Romanian Immigrant to shit in the toilet rather than on the pub floor first though.


        • 32
          Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

          … and while the Roma singer is entertaining the clientèle, the rest of his family are going through the pub car park taking anything not nailed down.


  7. 11
    Lady Gaga's ass says:

    I hope the bouquet has a touch of Ketamine to make it smell nice


  8. 12
    Rev Flowers says:

    Have these flowers been fucking cut with weeds or something? They smell like shit.


  9. 14
    Paniagua V5 says:

    That is a Class A idea.


  10. 15
    Ctesibius says:

    Not a joke to be cracked by Marcus Brigstoke, Russell Brand (follows lengthy and tedious list of BBC ‘alternative’ ‘comedians’) or any comedian on the BBC.

    And sorry, Harriet and Jack, BBC stands for ‘British Broadcasting Corporation’ – what were you thinking of?


  11. 16
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion &Kill All Eco-loons says:

    I see Philip Davies voted for the Afriyie amendment.

    He was also one of only 15 Tories to vote against state control of the press.

    Wasn’t he also one of only 5 Tories to vote against green energy taxes and didn’t he give Chris Patten a roasting at the select committee?

    He’s also a Northern blue collar Tory and would help reconnect the Tories to northern working class voters.

    Knife traitor Cameron now and get Davies installed as the new Tory Tony Abbot and they can still win the next election, otherwise they are toast.


    • 29
      One-term Dave (dragging the Tories to their grave) says:

      Gosh, I do so like toast. I requested it on a camping trip a year or two ago, when I was hugging huskies. I instructed my butler to fashion an axe out of flint and driftwood, then commanded him to seek out a fine pine tree which he cut down and dragged 93 miles back to our base, and then he chopped it up and made a spiffing fire on which he toasted me some bread. “Where’s the butter and strawberry preserve and Champagne Amphora from Fortnums?” I asked. “I don’t think we’ve got any, Sir,” he said, so I threw the toast on the snow and stamped on it and pushed him into a glacier.


      • 31
        One-term Dave (dragging the Tories to their grave) says:

        I meant to say, a large eagle grabbed him and carried him off, poor fellow.


      • 33
        Tony Parsehole, Digger's replacement codpiece says:


        You are Prince H a r r y in the Antarctic and I claim my fiver


  12. 17
    Badger spotter says:

    So total@prat punked the paps

    I love it


    • 25
      imho says:

      One might think that with the total@prat moniker something would not have smelled right to any intelligent person.


      • 27
        Call me Dave, future failure says:

        Why would you assume that? I’m a total prat and I’m running the country (into the ground).


  13. 21
    @TotalPrat says:

    Breaking: Guido exclusive on Cameroons diseased anus.


  14. 34
    Little Richard says:

    “Tutti Frutti”

    A womp bomp a loo bomp, a lomp bam boom!


  15. 40

    You must feel sorry for Flowers he will probably serve at least two months in a protected, segregated ,wing of the cushiest open prison ,that money can buy.


  16. 42
    The Guardian says:

    Corrections and clarifications

    When we referred to Rev Paul Flowers as ‘classy’, we actually meant ‘class c’.


  17. 43
    nick says:

    Special Labour offers:
    meths for MPs
    below rate loans(only for labour
    rent boys for labour
    Blinky loans and lasagna


  18. 44
    Displaced Brummie says:

    By the way, how did the Council know there was hard core porn on Rev. Flowers’ council computer?

    It’s quite possible they found it by accident. But at least one Labour council worked out a way of getting rid of troublesome councillors.

    The IT department would “find” (cough! cough!) hard core porn and the councillor would be given the opportunity to resign.


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