November 13th, 2013

Entire Conservative Party Web Archive Still Available

Missing reading old George Osborne speeches about the moral case for low taxes? Or the one when he promised to raise the inheritance tax threshold? Have no fear, they are all still available from the British Library – including the 2006 to 2010 Cameron opposition period:

Click to see Conservatives.com website archive
Guido is of course too modest to mention who else they record for posterity…


170 Comments

  1. 1
    UKIP Voter says:

    Well done Guido. Now the lies can still be proved inperpetuity

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    That would be everybody then?

  3. 3
    cast iron bender Dave says:

    we’re all lying together. support the elite nonces.

  4. 4
    Malcolm Rifkindstein says:

    Tut tut. Don’t forget the other pillar of Conservatives/Labour/Liberals policy – eternal wars for Israel.

  5. 5
    elite kiddie fiddler says:

    but not proved in a court naturally – as we make and are above the Law.

  6. 6
    Dave's Advisor says:

    Oh dear.

  7. 7
    Fishy says:

    Well said UKIP voter….Oh dear, what’s this? The UKIP 2010 manifesto has also been disappeared. Ooops.

    http://www.ukip.org/media/pdf/UKIPmanifesto1304a.pdf

  8. 8
    Dave's Pork Pie's Don't vote for them UKIP's says:

    Vote for me, a trust Tory boy, we are all in it together.

  9. 9
    Ροdiceps says:

    We know more and more about less and less.

  10. 10
    jizzballs says:

    Congratulations Cameron..

    Your place at the zenith of fucktardery is assured.

  11. 11
    A Fish finger supper with Dave says:

    Looks like my last supper.

  12. 12
    Times are not changing just the depth of corruption says:

    Vote Liebour, as we were not in power between 1997 and 2010, see Len, the whitewash is working, the idiots believe us.

  13. 13
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Nearly everyone.

    This site is archived.

    Archive.org is really the go-to site if you like to do research on the net.

    The old COMARE government site is archived in there if you wish to look up the papers and propaganda from the Labour era which was trying to state that there is no link between nuke plants and leukaemia for example.

    In fact, many of the old UK Government web sites which have since vanished with various department changes are in there, with the supporting documents etc. Very interesting reading some of it.

  14. 14
    Padded Cell next to Mc Mental says:

    Hello Dave come in and listen to the voices.

    Quick shut the door.

  15. 15
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    To be fair, this may have been a C’rosby strategy, but Cameron should take responsibility.

  16. 16
    'Call me Dave' Dave says:

    C0ck! There’s goes my plan to detoxify the party. Again.

  17. 17
    Conservative Party Website says:

    404 “lies not found”

  18. 18
    Tachybaptus says:

    “A Conservative spokesman said the changes to the website would improve the experience for visitors.”

    Unlikely.

    Electoral deletion of the Tories, however, will be guaranteed to improve the experience of the UK population

  19. 19
    ʍȫʊʂʂȁ ҞϴџṦṦậ says:

    Down the memory hole. Well, It’s ok, they’ll be erased from history themselves come the next election.

  20. 20
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    This has snapshots going back to when the domain name was first purchased in 1998:

    http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.conservatives.com/

    Intraday as well.

    These copies are over in the US, in case Cameron decides to raze the British Library in a fit of rage…

  21. 21
    Fleetwood Mac says:

    Tell me Lies tell me sweet Tory Lies………..

  22. 22
    Untermensch says:

    Hey Dave, whoever thought your ambition for the UK was so low as to want to turn us into a banana republic.

    On the available evidence you’re determined to turn the country into a tinpot disgrace. The man who hated Britain? I think that would be you

  23. 23
    pink tories says:

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  24. 24
    Keep Calm and Carry On says:

    Dave no longer does ‘Rage’ he just does fits!!!

  25. 25
    ukip.i.am.not says:

    Can only hope this will have a ‘Barbara Streisand’ effect, where the act of trying to bury something only serves to enlarge and draw attention to it.

    It’ll mobilise people to scrutinise all the lies and U-turns in a way that never would have happened if the content had been left intact.

    Another hilarious own-goal by an incompetent shower

  26. 26
    M103 says:

    If I remember rightly, wasn’t Winston Smith employed in “1984” to erase and alter the past?
    The Chinese do this as well, blocking websites they don’t like

  27. 27
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    It would be preferable if Dave wrapped himself in a petrol soaked UKIP flag, lit a match and jumped of Tower Bridge at low tide yelling: ‘I’m Sorry!’ if he wishes to get this sort of attention.

    Vote UKIP.

  28. 28
    Feed Up with Fag's says:

    Poof’y Tory boys with bender wedlock will never out breed the Mu5lims.

  29. 29
    Fishy says:

    This is my favourite ‘down the memory hole’ story.

    Remember Foghorn Reeves yesterday bemoaning the fact that disabled people were being badly treated by the Nazis… sorry Tories, when everyone knew that disabled people weren’t able to work.

    Labour and their broadcast arm, the BBC, forget to mention that it was Labour who kicked of the ATOS assessments to get disabled people back to work.

    Here is Foghorn’s current Cabinet colleague, Mrs Balls back in 2009;

    Yvette Cooper, the Work and Pensions Secretary, added: “In the 80s and early 90s, including the recession, the number of people claiming Incapacity Benefit rose by a million.

    “And too many people ended up on long term sickness benefit without help to get back to work.

    “That must never happen again.

    “Those who can work need help to get back into jobs as soon as possible so they don’t get trapped on long term benefits.

    “That’s why we’ve introduced this stronger early medical assessment alongside more support in work.”

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6318325/Just-one-in-20-sickness-benefit-applicants-permanently-unable-to-work.html

  30. 30
    Next door's cat says:

    It’s rather ironic that they support total surveillance of the rest of us – desiring to store all our communication history and activity indefinitely but meanwhile they are busy going to exceptional lengths to protect themselves.

    The political establishment in this country is truly lost

  31. 31
    Fishy says:

    Like UKIPs 404’d 2010 manifesto?

    Hypocrite

  32. 32
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Yes, but it had not occurred to Orwell that some libertarian’s may have set up some publicly available sites which kept a fairly indelible archive of the press available for people, and the GF blog site to broadcast such info.

    Dave’s problem is that his tutors at Oxford perhaps didn’t think such things were possible or likely either, as they were clearly a bunch of socialist vermin.

    This is why the libertarian’s will win over time ;-)

    Now, next subversive suggestion of the day: Put together an application using the Memento API to do diffs of the time archives so as the captures can be easily compared and evolution of speeches tracked over time.

    Could be very embarrassing if that was run against some of the party sites…

  33. 33
    Thank you for your advise and attention says:

    I will show you next low tide.

  34. 34
    Living in the Socialist shit-hole which was formerly Great Britain says:

    ‘truly lost’ ??? If only it were true. Unfortunately, they can still see us; they need to try much harder to get lost.

  35. 35
    Brainless the Briton says:

    We already do that via selective media news.

  36. 36
    Ροdiceps says:

    4.56 tomorrow morning — not long to wait.

  37. 37
    Big Killick says:

    Which just goes to show the “wicked Tories” hadn’t deviously wiped the material from the global interweb, just removed old stuff from their website. So, can all conspiracy theorists please go back to working out who killed JFK, or JR, whatever.

  38. 38
    nellnewman says:

    We also can see them. They try to wipe these things out but there they sit on the record. Idiots!

  39. 39
    Lest we forget says:

    Keep up the good work Guido!

    A fellow West Londinian Scroat.

    But if we subvert the Gov’t……Who is there left to govern?

    Who looked after your granny when she ran out of money?

  40. 40
    albacore says:

    What LibLabCons stand for is so ephemeral
    That it no longer cuts any mustard at all
    They’d promise you owt, scout’s honour and hope to die
    For as long as it kept their fingers in your pie

  41. 41
    Universal Hiss says:

    Probably one of George Smith’s brilliant ideas.After all the man is a master of all things to do with that internet thingie.

    That explains why he was absent from the house yesterday & couldn’t be arsed to justify the spare room subsidy.

    It’s pretty low stuff though even for this lot of charlatans.They never learn.Like Universal Credit,doomed to fail.

  42. 42
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    :)

  43. 43
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    The flames should be dying down in time for the start of the Today program. Come on Dave make the BBC’s day !

  44. 44
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    If the Tories had wanted to tidy up their website they could have neatly archived these documents in a subfolder.

    That would have sat comfortably with their views about open Government.

  45. 45
    Dave Lee Travis is innocent says:

    Who has carefully hidden those photos of that Del Piero ?

    I trust the hand of Milliband is nowhere to be seen.

  46. 46
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    Hmm….

  47. 47
    The British media are cunts says:

    I bet they put all the Alistair Campbell stuff in the ‘fiction’ section.

    All the Gordon Brown stuff in the ‘fantasy’ section.

    All the Tony Blair stuff in the toilets.

  48. 48
    The British media are cunts says:

    Children in need on the BBC on Friday. With so many kiddie fiddlers together on one night will the police just arrest the lot?

  49. 49
    The British media are cunts says:

    What is shows is what utter fucking mongs politicians are. Are they simply not aware that once data is out on the internet you’ve lost all control of it?

    Is it no wonder these fucks keep getting caught out fiddling expenses and fiddling with children?

  50. 50
    The British media are cunts says:

    The BBC have wiped the brains of the population, just like Arnie got his brain wiped in Total Recall. The BBC version is called Total fucking bollocks.

    When was the last time the BBC mentioned Gordon Brown or Tony Blair? When was the last time the BBC mentioned the utter mess Ed Balls and his mates made of the economy from 97 to 2010?

    The BBC have spun it so the fat proles think that ‘Fachur’ was still in power until another Tory shit took over.

  51. 51
    Rinka Scott says:

    Who has been playing with the Chilcott files?

    Where have they been archived?

    Labour might want to forget about all this because there could be criminal culpability.

    Why are the Tories covering for them?

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    If you look in the toilets perhaps you will find the Chilcott papers .

  54. 54
    Bunnies can and will go to France says:

    The Devil’s right hand is blue, and his left hand is red. And his arsehole is yellow.

  55. 55
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Did you know that J Savile’s lawyer shyster in Dorset was Harold G Walker [he’s dead now too] and that he got a lorra, lorra dosh from Jimmy. Funny how the pigs were so silent – perhaps they were bought off?

  56. 56
    Random Mohel says:

    It’s been renamed Children I Need.

  57. 57
    Blowing Whistles says:

    All this ‘commonwealth’ crap – rule of law / freedom of expression!!!! Huh!

    And whilst your all De noticed looking over there [a different jurisdiction] at Sri Lanka – don’t look at the South Wales’ pigs, Judges and cps men all conniving and conspiring in this our very own ‘backyard’ to do in Captain Kirk.

  58. 58
    Operah Winfree says:

    Fuck off you white plebs!!!

  59. 59
    Boris the murderer says:

    Boris is a fucking cyclist murderer!

    Fucking murderous Hunt!

  60. 60
    The British media are cunts says:

    Because the Tories know when red Ed takes over in 2015, they will have access to all the Tory sleaze.

  61. 61
    Channel 4 News says:

    We do the shouting and interrupting not these shitty little Sri Lankans. We don’t like it up us.

  62. 62
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Blanchflower is on Newsnight. Switched off.

  63. 63
    The British media are cunts says:

    Newsnight can’t bring themselves to admit economy is on the rise, sae fucking lefty mongs who created this mess are still being listened to by the fucking B?b?c.

  64. 64
    The British media are cunts says:

    Blanchflower is a fucking mong.

  65. 65
    The British media are cunts says:

    Oh fuck, now we’ve got Katz’s ex bum boy mate Milimong on lecturing us about helping people. Sure come in Paxman ask him how he sleeps at night knowing he helped Blair murder hundreds of rhousands.

  66. 66
  67. 67
    500,000 immigrants says:

    Vote LibLabCon

  68. 68
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    HE’s an amateur.

  69. 69
    Russell Howard is a politically correct fuckwit says:

    I am a politically correct fuckwit!

  70. 70
    The White Rabbit says:

    An index of over 50,000 speeches held in the Conservative Party Archive, c1950-2010, is currently being prepared and will appear on this page in due course. In the meantime, if you are interested in the speeches available by a given individual, please contact us.

    http://www.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/cpa

  71. 71
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    :)

  72. 72
    UKIP Voter says:

    This old bore is the worst presenter of facts I’ve ever encountered. He doesn’t understand what he’s talking about.

  73. 73
  74. 74
  75. 75
    Russell Howard is a politically correct fuckwit says:

    I am a complete left-wit idiot!

  76. 76
    Blowing Bubbles says:

  77. 77
    Ralph Miliband says:

    I’m a fucking cyclist murderer.

  78. 78
    Ροdiceps says:

    Come on, hackers, find it and leak it. You know you want to.

  79. 79
    Russell Howard is a politically correct fuckwit says:

    Lol
    ;)

  80. 80
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    The authorities and jurisdictions of interest are very much in the US, S!ngapore, Saud! Arab!a and Brune!.

    Money laundering at H’SBC ?

    h**p://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/25/uk-hsbc-probe-idUKTRE80O1FQ20120125

    The following is certainly fraud:

    h**p://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aXIvW4igKV38

  81. 81
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    The authorities and areas of interest are very much in the US, S!ngapore, Saud! Arab!a and Brune!.

    Money laundering at H’SBC ?

    h**p://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/25/uk-h’sbc-probe-idUKTRE80O1FQ20120125

    The following is certainly fraud:

    h**p://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aXIvW4igKV38

  82. 82
    Janet Yellen says:

    QE to ininity and beyond.

    Mr Carney…you will do what the kosher ones tell you!

    Or else!

  83. 83
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    The economy is flat-lining. Jaw Jozbourne needs a Plan B.

  84. 84
    Fishy says:

    Give yourself a noix de coco.

    Try the UKIP site

    http://www.ukip.org/media/pdf/UKIPmanifesto1304a.pdf

  85. 85
    Andy Burn 'em says:

    You wait till I get ‘em to A&E

  86. 86
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    I AGREE WITH VINCE AND WE NEED TO RAISE TUITION FEES HIGH ENOUGH TO KEEP THE RIFF-RAFF OUT OF UNIVERSITY.

  87. 87
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    He was trained at L’loyds in his early career and worked in the City for a while. He was at Eagle trust from 1989, and triggered the Super Gun affair when he was touring one of the factories the trust owned after seeing something which appeared to be the barrel of a very large gun.

    The S.W.I.F.T. transfer he held will be key. If genuine that would indicate a very serious fraud of primarily the money laundering type was committed.

    It was revealed during partial audit of the FED that $8tn was swapped with the ECB by the FED: Where those $ sourced, whilst apparently separate to this, still requires explanation.

    If transaction of $ he found were sent to RBS via H’SBC are not a fabrication of the NY Fed, these could be part of the profits from the 80s operation to collapse the Soviet Ruble. They certainly do not appear to have sourced from the Fed itself, and if they did it was not with Congressional approval.

    The H’ansard does read better.

  88. 88
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And Carney – is brought out to give a ‘false impression’ to the British Public that everything is just dandy – aided and abetted of course by John the snowman – lefty doing his left thing to try and maintain the left / right status quo of dupe the masses.

    Oh dear – they just daren’t indict the criminal bankers who still haven’t managed to rebalance their grossly imbalanced books of assets V false assets.

    There is no debt – it is all a creation of the rothies’.

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    My guess is that this was just down to technical fuckwittery (or wanting to go home early that day and taking the easy way out) by the tory party techies rather than a deliberate attempt to try and hide the files from the public.

    Contrary to what the mainstream media say (who seem to be even more technically fuckwitted than the tory party techies), they didn’t delete the files, they just told robots not to crawl those folders.

    For some reason, the media (and Computer Weekly) seem to think that robots.txt files (ie the file that restricts what search engines are supposed to look for/at on your site) are only used by evil regimes, terrorists etc etc.

    Almost every site on the planet has a robots.txt file (yes, guido’s got one too, I’ve just looked. go to any site and just put “robots.txt” on the end of their domain and you’ll see them). In fact you NEED a robots file if you want search engines to understand your website and to not crawl totally irrelevant stuff as they hold urls for sitemaps etc.

    They are definitely NOT used by terrorists or evil regimes, because if you want to hide a folder/page that’s on your site for dodgy/illegal reasons then the last thing you want to do is to create a publicly available/browsable file on your site which mentions where your “private” (but totally unprotected and publicly available) urls are.

    If someone wants to hide their site pages for dodgy/illegal reasons, then they’d have to have the technical expertise of a fucking potato to use a robots.txt file to do it.

    They didn’t do this for any Orwellian “history rewriting” reason, they did it because they wanted to archive-off their old stuff to simplify things so that it’s still available internally, but they didn’t want to have the hassle of working out how/where to change their links or internal searches, so they left the urls the same and just told the robots to ignore the old ones.

    My guess is that their techies have now seen the Computer Weekly article, and thought “oh fuck, we forgot this stuff should be available to the general public, we took the easy way out, but now we’ve got to work out the folder/internal-search changes/options after all.”

    Basically, if it’s “irrelevant” then you put it in the robots.txt file, but if you want to actually hide it then you delete the pages completely from the site or force people to login before they’re allowed to see them, neither of which the tories seem to have done.

    Personally, I think Cameron’s a lying socialist shit-head who wants to control every aspect of everyone’s lives, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he “wanted” to hide these pages. But, in this instance I don’t think that’s what’s happened, I think this was simply a fuckup by their techies who wanted an easy way out of a technical issue that they couldn’t be arsed to sort out properly (or maybe their techies are unpaid interns who don’t give a fuck and that’s why they took the quick way out).

  90. 90
    Blowing Whistles says:

    A certain wrabbit whitey has been duping people out of their hard earned.

  91. 91
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The ‘Cognitive Dissonant mob’ well and truly caught out with their pants down and knickers in a twist.

    What was that danny boy – the police, CPS, judges and the political numbskulls – all so subsumed by their righteousness when they are categorically and incontrovertibly found to be wrong?

  92. 92
    kitler says:

    The infinite universe theory does allow for the possibility that somewhere, somehow Vince Cable is actually right about something and this might be that moment. Three years of sleeping through lectures, getting pissed and rewording wikipedia articles is not the best way to train cops and nurses.

  93. 93
    Blowing Whistles says:

    he is already one of their tools ffs.

  94. 94
    Blowing Whistles says:

    There is a little out of the way case (A Statutory Demand) that is due to be heard next Tuesday somewhere in the South of England

    101 conflicts of interest / cover ups / whitewashes etc – by 101 and more of the criminal trade that is the shysters and their wig mates.

    Ref: A bollox Mediation meeting (total ‘fraud’) in the bar temple area 25th February 2013.

  95. 95
  96. 96
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    If Cameron backs down because Washington tells him to on this of all issues, he is well and truly finished.

    It is now clear why Dearlove has been making noises about publishing what he knows, as he probably has most of the information which would otherwise be redacted.

    This confirms two embarrassing facts about the world at present:

    i) Dave does not have true confidence of the US at all. In fact they (the government) probably regard him as being some sort of retard.

    ii) The Blair – Bush – Clinton axis is still very much alive and well.

  97. 97
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    Carney is part of a very large money laundering operation.

  98. 98
    Ροdiceps says:

    Useful information linked to this page about how to make a robots.txt file for your own web page. I seem to get banned whenever I put a link in a comment, so will give it in neutered form as
    h**p://www.robotstxt.org/robotstxt.html

  99. 99
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    The jaws are beginning to close on those who have done wrong.

    The problem is that the sheer level of corruption has rotted everything totally. Fixing the problem is delicate if the problem is to be repaired without unleashing anarchy and creating chaos.

    Geithner for example has been questioned by NYPD, and apparently told all. Others have been pulled in. This is done quietly though so as not to send the wrong kinds of ripples out.

    All paths lead back to Bush Sr. and the Cl!ntons.

    Go back to 1975 and the events which led to Colby being relieved by Ford, the Hallowe’en massacre. Colby was preoccupied with communists. He should have been looking at their enemies.

    Look at who was involved in the changing of the guards, and what that simple pebble cast set into motion.

  100. 100
    BBC News Balanced Reporting says:

    There is some good news; here is a Labour spokesman to point out that some of it is actually bad news

    There is some bad news; here is a Labour spokesman to point out that some of it is really even worse news

  101. 101
    Jimmy says:

    But actually, he thought as he re-adjusted the Ministry of Plenty’s figures, it was not even forgery. It was merely the substitution of one piece of nonsense for another. Most of the material that you were dealing with had no connexion with anything in the real world, not even the kind of connexion that is contained in a direct lie. Statistics were just as much a fantasy in their original version as in their rectified version. A great deal of the time you were expected to make them up out of your head. For example, the Ministry of Plenty’s forecast had estimated the output of boots for the quarter at one-hundred-and-forty-five million pairs. The actual output was given as sixty-two millions. Winston, however, in rewriting the forecast, marked the figure down to fifty-seven millions, so as to allow for the usual claim that the quota had been overfulfilled. In any case, sixty-two millions was no nearer the truth than fifty-seven millions, or than one-hundred-and-forty-five millions. Very likely no boots had been produced at all. Likelier still, nobody knew how many had been produced, much less cared. All one knew was that every quarter astronomical numbers of boots were produced on paper, while perhaps half the population of Oceania went barefoot. And so it was with every class of recorded fact, great or small. Everything faded away into a shadow-world in which, finally, even the date of the year had become uncertain.

  102. 102
    Jimmy says:

    Be thankful at least that Gideon now has a babysitter

  103. 103
    Ροdiceps says:

    1984 was so called because it was Orwell’s bitter satire on 1948, under Attlee’s Labour Government, so carried away by their passion for social engineering that they forgot to look after the country, and it was as if the war had never ended until the sad bunch were kicked out in 1950 and we could start to recover. I am old, Jimmy, and I was alive then and I remember what it was like. By quoting this you are looking into the mirror and seeing the ugly reality of socialism.

  104. 104
    Jimmy says:

    The Spanish war and other events in 1936-37 turned the scale and thereafter I knew where I stood. Every line of serious work that I have written since 1936 has been written, directly or indirectly, against totalitarianism and for democratic Socialism, as I understand it. It seems to me nonsense, in a period like our own, to think that one can avoid writing of such subjects. Everyone writes of them in one guise or another. It is simply a question of which side one takes and what approach one follows. And the more one is conscious of one’s political bias, the more chance one has of acting politically without sacrificing one’s aesthetic and intellectual integrity.

  105. 105
    Ροdiceps says:

    A different take on the alternative energy tyranny: now Spanish police are raiding houses where they believe people are generating their own electricity from solar panels without a licence:
    h**p://goo.gl/sHJktO
    (Change * to t in the above)

    And I thought things were mad enough already.

  106. 106
    Ροdiceps says:

    For ‘aesthetic and intellectual intergrity’ substitute ‘pride in an obstinate belief in repeatedly disproved theories’ and I’m with you.

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    I just read the Orwell essay, ‘Why I write’, which Jimmy quoted above — written in early 1946, when it might still have seemed possible for an honest man to believe in the socialist dream — though he had just had a book, of recipes of all the unlikely things, suppressed by the government. Already resentful of the establishment, he had rushed into support of the nationalist side in the Spanish Civil War, a reasonable choice at the time before it became clear that they were every bit as bad as Franco’s men. But by the time he wrote 1984 I think he had realised that ‘democratic socialism’ was an illusion and must always become authoritarianism of the kind he rightly detested.

    Looking back, what a mercy it was that the hideous Franco won the Civil War. If he had not, Spain would have quickly become a Soviet satellite and would, under the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact, have been a hostile power in 1939, with shore batteries deployed at the Straits of Gibraltar ready to sink any Allied ship trying to enter or leave the Mediterranean. This might have been enough to cause us to lose the war in a few months.

  108. 108
    Vince Semaphore says:

    The notion that you should need to be an intelligent lifeform in order to be a Business Secretary is utterly ludicrous in this day and age.

    
    

    Er … What was I saying ?

  109. 109
    David Cameron's handler says:

    Dave, I told you to get rid of these bloody flies !

  110. 110
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    If we had lost the war would Britain be much different or any better/ worse than today?

  111. 111
    Tony Eden from Eton says:

    I am growing sprouts and winter cabbage in my garden.

    Can I expect a visit ?

  112. 112
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Mark Carney is an independent Banker leading an independent Central Bank .

  113. 113
    Met Police says:

    Look, what’s all the fuss about? He got into a holdall, locked it from the inside and waited to die. Is that so difficult to believe?

  114. 114
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  115. 115
    albacore says:

    Maybe that territory is best left unexplored
    Discovery is not what Parliament can afford
    Having so betrayed the nation that soon it will be
    In its own homeland just an ethnic minority

  116. 116
    Ken Clarke says:

    UKIP if you want to. I’m always having a kip in the House.

  117. 117
    nellnewman says:

    +1000

    ++++Laugh++++

    Has he given up that childish flatlining gesture with his hands yet?

  118. 118
    Labour Council says:

    We’ve voted to ban all references to christmas in our borough. Instead, we urge all residents to wish our muslim brothers and sisters a Happy Ramadan.

  119. 119
    The voice of reason says:

    However imperfect the Conservatives might be, the alternatives are far, far worse.

  120. 120
    yet another gobby socialist millionaire says:

    What else can you expect from a government whose Internet spokeswoman thinks you can have a watershed for inappropriate content on the Interweb.

    Why don’t we elect people with normal common sense instead of new world order common purpose?

  121. 121
    Monika Eichel says:

    Ah der Jude Rifkind as I so helpfully pointed out in my artikel in the Frankfurter algemeine

  122. 122
    Dickhead Dave the Dunce of Downing Street says:

    Any old cast iron guarantees,
    Any old cast iron guarantees,
    any, any, any, old iron?

    You look neat – talk about a treat,
    You look a dapper from your napper to your feet.
    Dressed in style, with a brand new tile,
    And your father’s old green tie on,
    Oh I wouldn’t give you tuppence for your old watch chain,
    Old iron, old iron!

  123. 123
    DAVID CAMERON outgoing PM says:

    Well apart from selling off and closing down our industrial backbone , and destroying the moral fabric of this once great country by allowing shirt lifters to get married and selling our soul to the highest bidder the EU , and lining their own pockets along the way .
    .
    .
    What the Fuck have they achieved ?

    Oh and before you start with the lefty shit , i vote for them as best of a corrupt and rotten bunch

  124. 124
    Davewali says:

    “I am the crisis that will leave you homeless,
    The heart attack you have through stress,
    The reason the hospital you need is closed,
    The prescription you cannot afford,
    The food shopping you cannot buy,
    The reason you feel ashamed to be disabled,
    The reason you no longer have a job,
    I am the reason you are called a scrounger,
    I am David Cameron,
    This is the Tory Party,
    We are your crisis,
    And we don’t care who or what you are

  125. 125
    The BBC says:

    … because of the unique way the BBC is funded!

  126. 126
    Wat So says:

    So what?

  127. 127
    1 million Robbin' Romanies says:

    Except for UKIP, who are much, much better.

  128. 128
    Vote tory for Romani-Islamo-Bum-sexo says:

    The horror!

    A party updates its manifesto!

  129. 129
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion &Kill All Eco-loons says:

    I see it’s nearly time for the annual “Children in Need” telethon.

    In light of the Jimmy Savile & Stuart Hall revelations, ITV/SKY should hold a rival one called “Children in Need of protection from the pedos at the BBC”

  130. 130
    Davewali says:

    I cannot keep my promises in another coalition after 2015

  131. 131
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    An open and shut case.

  132. 132
    Douglas Adamski says:

    The toilet in the basement behind a large locked door with a sign saying ‘beware of the leopard’?

  133. 133
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    If the Government think you British will believe this Harry Houdini fantasy they must think you are completely daft .

  134. 134
    The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

    Have you seen the figures on employment and growth and compared them to other EU countries? Fair is fair they have done a reasonable job with the economy. They could have done better though.

  135. 135
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Are you talking about quarter past eight tonight ?

  136. 136
    Ma­qb­­oul says:

    The economy is definitively on the mend. Whereas in tax ‘em still the squeak France it is contracting.

    Hopefully they will have sufficiently restored the nation’s finances by 2015 so that Labour can go and blow it all again.

  137. 137
    Gordon Brownn says:

    Thanks to me!

    Now say I’m wonderful or you’re all bigots.

  138. 138
    Labour'n'Libdems says:

    Yeth! Bloody working class cluttewing up univerthitieth!

  139. 139
    Ma­qb­­oul says:

    He is the thuggish, anbitious heir to Brown riding on the coat-tails of Milibland until he gets into No 10. Then the knives will be out. Didn’t realise that history repeated itself so quickly.

  140. 140
    Rupert Trimley-Bashworth says:

    Look, OK, I’m on my gap yah, yah?
    I may have take some shortcuts, golly, but cripes, this is all a little over the top.
    Anyway, I’m only here until pater gets my position as head of risk at the private bank sorted out, you know?

  141. 141
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Why don’t you all just go out and get blind drunk and touch a few bottoms as you do every year?

  142. 142
    Ma­qb­­oul says:

    Orwell re-evaluated his principles in the Spanish Civil War when he saw the brutal work of Soviet NKVD agents. As for democratic Socialism, it doesn’t exist. All totalitarian regimes started off with great intentions but a naive view of human nature. Fascism follows socialism as surely as night follows day; the difference between the two is simply a matter of time.

  143. 143
    DAVID CAMERON outgoing PM says:

    the employment figures are tosh ! there are millions of people doing minimum hours 15 to 20 , so their income can be topped up with benefits meaning one job employs two or even three people
    then look at the people who are in “none jobs” and you will see , nothing is changing

    Fucking laughable Cameron has just been on the news calling for an enquiry into human rights abuses in Sri Lanka , I bet he doesn’t mention human rights abuses to his present hosts , the Chinese

  144. 144
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Take some spare cash off one of my Money Trees.

  145. 145
    EUSSR says:

    Generating your own energy is tax-evasion.

  146. 146
    The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

    I have a sneaking feeling that the Tories will win the next election easily.

    My reasons are:

    1, Red Ed is alienating a lot of moderate voters (by lurching to the left) who would normally vote for them – just as Foot did.
    2. While UKIP will take some votes from the Tories they will take more from Labour (see 1) and may win some of the Labour marginals providing the Tory candidate, who has no hope of winning, does not split the UKIP vote too much -and vice versa.
    3. It’s the economy, stupid.
    4. Some idiots will believe the promises that the Tories make – you can fool some people all the time.

    And if the Tories do win with an overall majority then they will fix the EU referendum so that we stay in – even though nothing important will have changed. So I am voting UKIP. Elections are the only chance you have to express your opinions that may influence any politician.

  147. 147
    Raving Loon says:

    Except that he is subordinate to the BIS (Bank of International Settlements) in Switzerland which is a private bank.

  148. 148
    The EU is croques (de merde) monsieur says:

    But it is Labour who are the party of unemployment. After 13 years of government there were more unemployed than when they started. The Tories have reduced unemployment even by spending far less than Labour would have done – and thus making most people pay even more in taxes. What would that and their abysmal employment record have done for the average person’s cost of living?

  149. 149
    Baldrick's burger bar says:

    The more you know, the more you forget.
    The more you forget, the less you know.
    The less you know, the less you forget.
    The less you forget, the more you know.

    Confused now?

  150. 150
    Baldrick's burger bar says:

    …. and, like Gordon, sack the person wot dunnit?

  151. 151
    Baldrick's burger bar says:

    Like CVNT Millpede did to that irreplaceable FCO Library?

  152. 152
    Baldrick's burger bar says:

    Have you uncovered the connection between bendy men and bendy bananas?

  153. 153
    Realist says:

    Yes, because an Osborne speech from 2006, pre-credit crunch and pre-Gordon, is clearly relevant to the situation today. Moron.

  154. 154
    EOIN DUNCAN SHITE says:

    ATOS = A Totality Of Shitehawks.

  155. 155
    EOIN DUNCAN SHITE says:

    ATOS = A Talker Of Shite.

  156. 156
    Baldrick's burger bar says:

    You were all warned at the time Ozzie announced his appointment that he was a G&S Stooge. So it is proving. Can’t Theresa rescind his visa?

  157. 157
    Baldrick's burger bar says:

    Long John – you forgot to add the word ‘Private’ before ‘Central’.

  158. 158
    Baldrick's burger bar says:

    Perhaps the locals might be persuaded to hold their very own bonfire night on 24/12 right in the middle of the council chambers. Lots of nice old wooden furniture for the fire plus it keeps them out of the cold you understand!

  159. 159
    Jimmy says:

    “he had rushed into support of the nationalist side in the Spanish Civil War,”

    Is there a special rightie history book where you find all this bollocks?

  160. 160
    Jimmy says:

    “If we had lost the war”

    You did.

  161. 161
    Praise be to Al Lah for sending us the Drones says:

    Sir Guido’s site is archived together with Window Licker comments!

  162. 162
    Moral equivalence says:

    scumbag

  163. 163
    A Blast From The Past says:

    So there you have it, despite reports from Russia Today, the Tories did not wipe useful material from the global interweb – they just removed the “old stuff” from their website. Just out of interest, who said that there would “no whitewash at the Whitehouse”?

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Have to watch out that ATOS don’t try to ‘back up’ their medical data.

  165. 165
    Anonymous says:

    You cannot use Nuclear Power as a stick to beat Labour – for ALL Government maintain that there is no link between nuke plants and leukaemia.
    Anyway, as in Japan, Nuclear Power gives a warn glow.

  166. 166
    Anonymous says:

    Well, what do you know.

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    The Conservative bot blocker listed all the pages barred for public consumption thus (excerpt):

    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2000/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2001/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2002/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2003/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2004/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2005/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2006/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2007/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2008/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2009/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2010/01/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2010/02/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2010/03/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2010/04/
    Disallow: /News/News_stories/2010/05/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2000/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2001/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2002/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2003/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2004/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2005/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2006/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2007/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2008/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2009/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2010/01/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2010/02/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2010/03/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2010/04/
    Disallow: /News/Speeches/2010/05/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2000/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2001/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2002/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2003/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2004/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2005/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2006/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2007/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2008/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2009/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2010/01/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2010/02/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2010/03/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2010/04/
    Disallow: /News/Articles/2010/05/

    For pages at these addresses, the Internet Archive reported: “Page cannot be crawled or displayed due to robots.txt”.

    (Still waiting for the Tory tec person to return and explain this)

  168. 168
    A Quote to Note says:

    “You have shown us the future – and it’s bottom-up.” Cameron told a Google Zeitgeist conference in San Francisco. (Dave clearly has concerns about the amount of A*al Sex of the Net)

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    “Conservative Party, The

    This site was archived for preservation by the British Library

    The live site may provide more information.”

  170. 170
    A Blast From The Past says:

    But should not bookshops put (sexed up) accounts of Blair’s life in their International Crime Section?


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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