Clearly the only story this morning is David Dimbleby getting inked:

“You are only old once. I have always wanted a tattoo. I thought I might as well have it done now. It’s a dream come true for me. I thought it was wimpish having it just drawn on and I needed to man up.”

Following in the footsteps of George Orwell, Winston Churchill, Barry Goldwater and Cheryl Cole…

UPDATE: According to CNN, a scorpion tattoo is a “biohazard symbol” in the gay community for having HIV. Apparently the stinging tale of the scorpion represents the virus. Well that’s awkward.