November 7th, 2013

WATCH: Ed Miliband’s Dad Killed My Kitten


  1. 1
    LB says:

    I can’t help think that if smoking crack worked for Toronto’s mayor and his electoral prospects, that Milliband should try the same.


    • 4
      Sal E Bercow says:

      I have a smoking crack


      • 7

        That’s not smoke, that’s steam.


      • 17
        Q says:

        Does it have a 20 a day addiction?


        • 24
          Toxic Labour for spongers, parasites and criminals says:

          Ed Multimillionaireband killed my hamster. I showed my hamster a picture of Ed Multimillionaireband and he just jumped in the air then keeled over and died. That’s what Socialists are good at, killing things and Countries.


          • DarkstarGK says:

            Apart from he is not a multi millionaire and hes not a socialist and Labour are not a socialist party, apart from that you are 100% right. Also the last Tory Government caused 2 recessions and this current one have borrowed more in 3 years than Labour in 13


          • Anonymous says:

            everything weeps from brother to buddy balls


          • Time Gentlemen Please says:

            Milliband is not joking here. He really does want to end free speech.


        • 55
          I wouldn't touch her with yours says:

          69 at the last count.


          • A. Socialist says:

            Buying votes with your own money. Its just so easy to get you fools to vote for us.

            …For a moment there we thought you’d remember the 90’s.

            Show you a few quid of your own money and you morons soon fall into your place.


    • 20
      zzzz............. says:

      I had to switch off at 1:02


    • 26
      Good on him says:

      Fair d’s.

      Could never imagine Gordon having a laugh.


    • 36
      Gooey Blob says:

      PM material? You must be joking!

      Tories will romp home in 2015 if this dipstick is still leading Labour.


      • 52
        south of the M4 says:

        You have not factored in Cameron’s remarkable ability to focus on the irrelavant
        and generally screw up – for he too is a dipstick.


      • 68
        DarkstarGK says:

        Apart from none of the Polls agree with you


        • 71
          danny nolan says:

          Would that be the same polls that showed Kinnock headed for Downing Street three days before the welalriiiiiiiigggghhhht election?


        • 108
          Owen's dad says:

          You’re in cloud cuckoo land if you think a 6 odd point lead in polls is going to allow Labour to romp home.


      • 90
        Jamesay says:

        Couldn’t agree more – he debates like a poorly schooled 6th form lad and has NO policy worth writing about… in short and embarrassment.


    • 84
      Ballsandco. says:

      And THIS man wants to be our next Prime Minister?!

      With THAT script he couldn’t even get one vote, let alone the millions he wants.

      Look for another job and let your brother take over.


  2. 2
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    It does not seem to have done the Conservatives much good.


  3. 3
    Leige Asper says:

    Has the twat been having voice coaching lessons from Robert Peston?


  4. 5
    Steve Miliband says:

    Not that funny – just reading out a piss taking story.


  5. 6
    Call me Dave, future failure says:

    Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.


  6. 8
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:



  7. 9
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Miliband has too much free time.


  8. 10
    Red Top Hack says:

    Miliband pounds pussy to a pulp during drink fuelled binge.


  9. 11
    sigourney weaver says:

    did IQs go down suddenly while I was away ?


  10. 13
    Ed Miliband says:

    I was feline rather unwell when I did that.


  11. 14
    john in cheshire says:

    Having watched that clip, I’m more than ever convinced that Mr Milliband has mental problems. And if he is typical of all socialists/communists/marxists/greens etc, then it also reinforces my belief that left-wingers need some kind of treatment for their mental condition. If only it was a joke; but we have to live in this world, created by these lunatics.


  12. 16
    BBC says:

    We will run this across our broad range of output.


  13. 18
    Right Full Rudder says:

    All the people saying “If you vote for UKIP, you’ll let him in” are not taking into account the sheer comedy value of him and Ed Balls trying to run a country. It will be like a Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd buddy comedy from the ’80s.


    • 28
      Mob Bunkhouse says:

      I bet you won’t be laughing after 5 years of those two.


      • 47
        Vote UKIP says:

        We aren’t laughing after three and a half years of bum sex Dave either, during which he’s nearly doubled the National Debt.

        The LibLabConner self serving thieves are all the same.


  14. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Can’t find Ed’s speech remotely funny. The Spectator & guests must have been pretty pissed to laugh at this. Ed was he usual constipated self.


  15. 21
    Ron Barras says:

    I’ve seen better delivery from a cowboy Yodel courier.


  16. 22
    Who's that? says:


  17. 23
    Whiffler says:

    Did he win Punchable Face of the Year (again) ?


  18. 25
    FFS says:

    Can you imagine this ridiculous toss-poit shaking hands with Vladmir Putin, or Angela Merkel?

    He even makes Hollande look credible. The French already take the piss out of us for Mr Bean, we don’t actually need to elect somebody that acts just like him.


  19. 29
    I'm the 2'19'' % says:

    That’s 2:19 of my life I won’t get back again.


  20. 30
    I'm only a comedian, I'm just 'avin' a laugh says:


  21. 31
    I'm only a comedian, I'm just 'avin' a laugh says:

    Some rather better cat gags…


  22. 33
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    The red bastard!


  23. 35
    Des Aster says:

    So, not only does Ralph Milliband espouse communist hateful vulgarities – he also kills kittens. And to think, I bought him a drink over the weekend – kopparberg – should have known. I’m now glad I did write his number in the toilet cubicle under ” looking for cook action”!


  24. 37
    Comikill says:

    Ironically, he’s a better stand-up than a politician.


  25. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Beyond parody.


  26. 40
    Hercule Poirot says:

    @ 1:38. There is no such language as Belgian. Quel stupide un salaud!


    • 45
      Hergé says:

      Not so ..Walloon and Flemish is the indigenous language of Belgium just as Welsh is the language of Wales and Gaelic of Scotland etc


      • 46
        Hercule Poirot says:

        But no language called Belgian.


        • 48
          Chooseday Wednesdaya says:

          Who gives a flying fuck? The language of fucking Belgium is all about bumming kids, they are all at it, right up to their royals, even linking to our inbred load of ponces. Fuck Belgium, we should have let Hitler cleanse the scum from Europe, he would have got rid of the “nonce gene” that is now so rampant in our society, just look at Michael Gove and the filth he gets up to and into on the weekends, usually at Dolphin Squre.


      • 62
        HEARDITALL says:

        Also small german speaking enclave.


  27. 42
    A lesson from history says:

    Problem is that no one knows whether this is a joke or IF it actually happened and THAT is Miliband’s problem. There will be many many people who will belive that his Dad was that man who squashed the kitten(even if the whole episode was fiction) and not vote for him because they seriously believe him to be a Marxist and in the pocket of far left unions and that his father was a Communist.

    I don’t know whose advising him if this was a Labour dreamt up stunt but they want sacking if only for actually getting Miliband to remind them about his Dad and his alleged marxism


    • 70
      All the world says:

      and he’s a cat squasher as well, don’t forget that.


    • 111
      Anonymous says:

      A lady called Eunice and her cat Winston

      “Winston was my only friend. One night he was late coming home so I went out to look for him. It was a freezing, foggy night but I saw him walking down the road, bold as brass.
      “I shouted ‘Come here Winston!’ But at that moment, a young naval officer came pedalling down the road on his bike, singing in a language I now know to be Belgian. He was obviously steaming drunk.

      “He barrelled into Winston squashing him flat, then carried on as if nothing had happened. I am convinced that man was Ralph Miliband. Only a Belgian – a Belgian Communist – could have killed a kitten in cold blood.”

      One knows whether this is a joke – are you joking?


  28. 43
    "Kral" says:

    Parliamentarian of the year? The joke is on the Spectator. Miliband’s been so useless at PMQs his leadership was in jeopardy for much of the year.


    • 93
      NE Frontiersman says:

      They’re just doing their bit to prop him up so Labour keep him on. Imagine where the gov’t would be if the opposition was remotely competent.


  29. 44
    Truthteller says:

    If you want the truth read the Sunday Sport.


  30. 49
    Tron says:

    I hate Labour like the rest of you lot but it WAS a funny story and Ed reading it out made it even funnier.
    Well done Red Ed !


    • 63
      A doctor says:

      Are you on medication?


      • 112
        Anonymous says:

        “He barrelled into Winston squashing him flat, then carried on as if nothing had happened. I am convinced that man was Ralph Miliband. Only a Belgian – a Belgian Communist – could have killed a kitten in cold blood.”

        Only someone so blinded by hate for the Labour Party could mistake this for a real story.


  31. 50
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    What the fuck ?


  32. 53
    Pussy Liberation Front says:

    Slotgob got rid of Humphry. Samcam is not giving Larry the respect he deserves.

    Miliprat is the son of a kitten killer.

    Typical LibLabConners.


  33. 57
    GeoffM says:

    If you couldn’t make it up then it must be true.


  34. 59
    bijeesh nair says:

    Parveen Express Courier & Cargo services are the best Supply chain solutions provider in Chennai. Call now 91 9791020275 for Freight services chennai.”


  35. 60
    A&R Man says:

    Gawd, his comic timing is brilliant. A bright future in the Northern clubs and Panto awaits!


  36. 64
    Jongleur says:

    Don’t quit the day job Ed.

    On second thoughts…


  37. 65
    Stevie Dean's Mum says:

    Not fucking denying it is he?


  38. 66
    Spin Doctor says:

    Ed shows that he has a great sense of humour about his dad, as was shown when he had an hysterical hissy fit at the time of the Mail’s publication.


  39. 72
    Polish capitalists drowned my gerbils says:

    Ed just said: “you couldn’t make it up”…
    Soooo did he just admit that this old lady is in fact telling the truth?


  40. 74
    Ctesibius says:

    What a waste of space. I’d rather stare out if the window than listen to Ed Millionaireband ‘being funny’.


  41. 76
    Nat says:

    You watch this and you think ………… ” Yes, this is the man we can send to negotiate with Putin”.
    Gawd help us.


    • 81
      Nat says:

      Sorry FFS (25) ….. didn’t see your earlier comment, but you do think “what the hell have we descended to?
      Is this the best we can do?
      We used to ‘be a contender’, for crying out loud.


  42. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Is it the Gurner of the year award?


  43. 78
    Baron Hogwash says:

    I needed a translator to work what the prat was wombling on about!


  44. 79
    Gromit says:

    What happened to you Wallace? You’ve changed. You said we’d always be a team. You said you’d take me with you. But now you’re leader of the Labour party and do I get a safe seat? No. I ahould have known I couldn’t trust you, you cheese-obsessed fucker.


  45. 82
    Gromit says:

    I could be a fucking MP you know. Slap a red rosette on me and I’d get a comfortable majority in Merseyside. If Jacqui Smith could be home secretary, I could be a fucking MP. You just don’t want me around anymore you cu nt!


  46. 83
    Gromit says:



  47. 85
    Dork Watch says:

    Ha ha ha…retard”ed” or what!!!
    What a crock of shite. Can you imagine Edward in any serious scenario…with Putin or Israel or Iran? Nope, neither can I. What an ‘effing embarrassment to the UK Is that dork.


  48. 86

    A funny politician! THAT is what the face of British politics needs. Just preferably one that is tough on crime and doesn’t plunge thousands of youngsters into debt by coercing them into higher “education”.


  49. 87
    Anonymous says:



  50. 88
    Gromit says:

    As much as I enjoy Jim Carrey’s early work, I’m not sure I would vote for a poltician who reminds me of Ace Ventura.


  51. 89
    Me Too says:

    Do we really go out and vote for these people!!!!!????


  52. 91
    Judicial Watch says:

    What a fu**ing tot!


  53. 92
    Ralph Jolly says:

    I haven’t heard this prat talk in a while, but has anyone else noticed that he has adopted a few of Obama’s speech mannerisms? Someone has been coaching Wallace to talk like Obama. I didn’t think I he could be more of a twat but how I underestimate these politicians…


    • 103
      Displaced Brummie says:

      Ah. Sort of like invisible blacking up? Great. Labour is lead by a post modernist member of the Black and White Minstrels.


  54. 95
    Hackney Hal says:

    It’s just not that funny. But the Spectator Tory bunch are genuinely pissing themselves laughing at its brilliance. Just shows how the Westminster media village is totally, I mean TOTALLY, divorced from reality.


  55. 102
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Ed Milliband should be a lecturer in a low ranking ex-Polytechnic in South East England.

    Instead, he is the ‘leader’ of the Labour Party and, God forbid, potentially our next Prime Minister.

    If he does become Prime Minister we will very seriously be well and truly fucked.


  56. 104
    Yampy Jock says:

    I have seen funnier videos appealing for famine relief


  57. 105
    Chief Wippet, Battersea Dogs' Home says:

    Best speech he has ever done.


  58. 106
    gs_schweik says:

    Just look at that photo. Must’ve taken Steve Coogan ages to learn how to pull that face, this twat can’t help it……….


  59. 109
    micky says:

    Failed pop star and one ugly mutha


  60. 110
  61. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Simon Dean started his “report” by saying that: “DEVASTATING evidence emerged last night that Labour leader Ed Miliband’s Marxist father WAS evil. For Ralph Miliband stands accused of SLAUGHTERING a little girl’s innocent KITTEN in a DRUNKEN rampage…”

    He ended the story by saying: …Kitten killing is of quite another order. “But I think it is fair to say that Eunice’s story could lose Labour the next election, and perhaps the one after that. “It’s political dynamite.”

    As well as being being totally over-the-top, his report does tend to give the game away. Then again – we are talking about the Sunday Sport.


Seen Elsewhere

Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC
No.10 Ambushed by EU Prosperity Tax | Times
Tory MP Tells Leftie Jon Snow to Retire | Guardian
Russell Brand’s New Book “Sub-Undergraduate Dross” | Telegraph
Tory MP Barrister Represents Monaco Billionaire | Scrapbook
MOBO Singers Slam UKIP | ITV
Could UKIP Keep Britain in the EU? | Iain Martin
Why Piketty is Wrong | ConHome
Guido Whips Politicians Into Shape | Guardian
Milburn Levelling Down | Kathy Gyngell
Crosby and Carswell Make Friends at Guido’s Dinner | Mail

Find out more about PLMR

Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,539 other followers