October 30th, 2013

You’re Either In Front of Guido…

The Telegraph, Mirror, Indy, et all finally played catch up this morning. So what did the fearless seekers of truth over at the Guardian make of yesterday’s latest nudge down the global rankings for press freedom? Poor Rusbridger pet James Ball, who is off to the States to be their new investigations editor after colleagues claim he was approached by another organisation then used that as promotion leverage, did not have a good day. Is this is the level of investigative journalism we can expect from the Guardian in the future?

He went on to claim it was a diary story at best. Perhaps he should be taking over from Hugh Muir instead.

Indeed it was snarky slow claps all round at Kings Place:

But then again if the story’s not handed to you on a plate by Edward Snowden or Julian Assange, why bother leaving the office? Come back Glenn Greenwald, all is forgiven.


  1. 1
    Dave's PR SPAD No 22 says:

    We already have a fascist state now. Thanks Guardian

  2. 2
    Doctor Mick says:

    I read the dead tree press online.

  3. 3
    dai off-topically says:

    a building contractor working in a north wales seaside town reports offers from young ladies in a neighbouring building of a £2 50 ‘servicing’ and ‘anything you want’ for £20
    shouldn’t we rejoice that
    the young have the sense of enterprise and responsibility for their own welfare that proves mrs thatcher’s revolution worthwhile
    and that price inflation of both the sack and the smack is easing?

  4. 4
    Tintin says:

    So James Ball is an investigative journalist?!

    Through following him on Twitter I just thought he was an Adrian Mole style leftie 6th former.

  5. 5
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    Was the neighbouring building the Blow Job Centre?

  6. 6
    Willer says:

    Comical – they’ve succeeded in raising more and more awareness of a magazine they wanted withdrawn.

  7. 7
    M102 says:

    Hardly worth shagging a sheep when crumpet’s that cheap :)

  8. 8
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    Rebekah and the NOTW must be really evil for copying what the USA have been routinely doing for decades.

  9. 9
    Perv watch says:

    I bet you miss all those prurient storeys in the News of the World.

  10. 10
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    What a pity the Private Eye didn’t have a front cover showing the people of Hartlepool hanging a monkey with long red hair.

  11. 11
    KillJoys says:

  12. 12
    Herbie the Hamster says:

    Compared with the costs of marriage or divorce, this has to be a bargain

  13. 13
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:

    Is it just me or does anybody else think this trial will collapse in a farce?

  14. 14
    Vote UKIP - don't get owned says:


  15. 15
    kmc says:

    Why type “drìnk” when you can use the longer word “consume”?

    Good ol’ Fatbot. Any chance of her going to an event where she’s told how to eat consume pies and cakes responsibly?

  16. 16
    Blind_leading_the_blind says:

    Read all about it in Private Eye in a fortnight’s time

  17. 17
    I am Pissed off with Stupid MPs says:

    It is Labour Control Freakery. Only Abbott knows how to drink “responsibly” whatever that is supposed to mean (responsible to what or who?) and the rest of us must be taught how and of course be taxed even more.

  18. 18
    M102 says:


  19. 19
    Owen Jones says:

    And what’s wrong with being an Adrian Mole style leftie 6th former?

  20. 20
    Clever Trevor says:

    I used to work in a shop round the corner from the Guardian offices in London. Every single one of their staff was a huge C ewe N T. Snobby, condescending and on a couple of occasions outright liars. They expected us to know who they were, if we didn’t drop everything and serve them they would be writing emails to our boss. One poncy bird even tried to get a mate of mine sacked because she couldn’t get served when she wanted to. I seriously hope they all get their Hackney studio flats burgled by crackheads who then “form a train” on their kids.

  21. 21
    HEARDITALL says:

    Note the word ENSURE just who the fuck do these arseholes think they are .
    Sainsbury’s should be ashamed to be jumping through the PC hoops, it is not their business what happens to a product after it ho longer becomes their property after being purchased.

  22. 22
    An Angry Aardvark says:

    I thought that was Grayson Perry and Paul Ince!

  23. 23
    Who the Flying F@£k is Red Sox? says:

  24. 24
    100wpm says:

    Does the Guardian get it’s young hacks from Kingston Poly?

  25. 25
    Precious MBanga says:

    I’m booked on the Lagos shuttle to Heathrow. I’m expecting triplets and will be having them courtesy of your wonderful NHS.

  26. 26
    Steve Miliband says:

    Was it the NSA that hacked all these Z list celebrities phones?

  27. 27
    Billionaire says:

    The Guardian, putting the poop in scoop.

  28. 28
    Old Hal says:

    I wouldn’t say it is a facist state but the “elite” have always wanted to keep the lower orders in check, in the Norman period restrict peasant movements, except of course when they were required to fight for their lordships and king usually with farm implements nowt else. Thins in the past 800 years have changed, very slowly, the peasants (plebeians) are still required to go to war (by non conscripted soldiers now and volunteers in the TA ) but they can still be arrested for carrying a pen knife, it’s not the actual that kills it is the idiot that carries weapon.

  29. 29
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    Massive deflation is kicking in.

    At this rate we’ll be back to willing for a shilling ;-)

  30. 30
    Lard Pissclott of Shithull says:

    How does the NSA know that I ordered 6 kebab meat and chips, 4 pizzas and 27 sauasage rolls for a snack the other night?

  31. 31
    HEARDITALL says:

    And one more thing ,what would be the point in getting pissed only to then act responsibly . Responsible to who, fat arsed abbot and that other ugly old cow?

  32. 32
    err says:

    He’s really in touch with his Doncaster constituents.

  33. 33
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:


  34. 34
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:


  35. 35
    but says:

    Did you throw up afterwards?

  36. 36
    Mrs May says:


  37. 37
    Doris Goldblatt says:


  38. 38
    Mrs Kravat says:


  39. 39
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Ecoloons says:

    ASDA will be glad of all the extra business Sainsbury’s are putting their way.

    Sell Sainsbury shares, Buy ASDA shares :-)

  40. 40
    Pandora Braithwaite says:

    I would have thought that was obvious

  41. 41
    Polly Toynbee says:


  42. 42
    BBC says:

    Watch us, for non biased, truthful and factual programmes and news.

  43. 43
    kmc says:

    Wasn’t Tony Blair’s son found legless in Leicester Square once? Maybe that’s what Labour MPs mean by responsible drìnking consuming?

  44. 44
    Old Hal says:

    Boston Red Socks?

  45. 45
    Job Centre Plus says:

    We’re usually staffed by a bunch of pricks, so it makes sense.

  46. 46
    JH890482309480923 says:

    Translation: someone has told Miliband that being ‘in to Baseball’ might flesh out his graphene-thick character a bit, and could even play well with yanks who would otherwise ask ‘so who the fuck is this guy’ in the appallingly likely event he is elected.

  47. 47
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  48. 48
    Toxic Labour trashed my Country says:

    Socialists are very unpleasant people and always have been, just look at the Unions.

  49. 49
    A big deal over nothing says:

    This is what they regard as contempt of court? Tossers.

  50. 50
    Young Romanian lady says:

    Don’t worry, I be there in January. I give full service for much less money.

  51. 51
    Pot kettle says:

    Unlike lovely right wingers like Pinochet.

  52. 52
    dai broke says:

    we certainly know who’ll foot the bill

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Observer says:

    Highest read article on the Telegraph’s web site at the moment, though its buried way down in the Europe/Portugal section:


  55. 55
    Doctor Mick says:

    Is everything about this guy red?

  56. 56
    kmc says:

    I think the yanks know exactly who he is and I doubt they want to be his friend.

  57. 57
    Funambulist says:

    Tall tales?

  58. 58
    Doctor Mick says:

    Yup, just having finished his A levels exams went on a bender. Good lad.

  59. 59
    Foreign consultant says:

    Don’t worry, if you’re going to a London hospital, you’ll feel like you never left Lagos. It will be a home from home feeling.

  60. 60
    Doctor Mick says:

    James Ball; mild mannered reporter now with the Daily Planet…

  61. 61
    kmc says:

    I reckon she was eaten by a false widow spider.

  62. 62
    HEARDITALL says:

    The word ‘consume’ has many connotations in the world of left wing fuckwitery.from implying needless use, using up one of their precious ‘finite resources’,or making use of a commodity not universally available to all, therefore somehow immoral and wicked.

  63. 63
    Young Bulgarian lady says:

    I do service much cheaper than Romanians and I don’t try to sell you Big Issue either.

  64. 64
    mad, swivel-eyed loon says:

    @Doctor Mick. Actually it was his GCSEs, and he was only 16, so underage. He then lied to police, told them he was 18 and gave the wrong address and lied about his name.

    Still, you’d not expect anything else from the son of the 45 minute WMD.

    Of course what was Tony doing at the time?

    “The prime minister had been up late writing a speech on opportunity and responsibility when he was told the news.

    Speaking about family and community values at a Faith in the Future conference in Brighton on Thursday, Mr Blair referred to the incident with a wry smile. “

  65. 65
    HEARDITALL says:

    It is reminiscent of Blairs undying devotion to Newcastle United when he remembered seeing Jackie Milburn playing while he was still in nappies.

  66. 66
    HEARDITALL says:


  67. 67
    But... says:

    He was a foreigner.

  68. 68
    Observer says:

    Highest read? Sorry, ‘Most read’. My apologies.

  69. 69
    for the pedants.. says:

    silly mistakes creeping into the headline postings Guido these days… its et al not et all … as mere mortals we all excuse ourselves for slips of the keyboard but your staff have no excuse !!

  70. 70
    dai thoughtfully says:

    yes -thats what we thought

  71. 71
    little c'unt needs twatting... says:

    he was funny you’re just a silly lopsided leftie mouth piece

  72. 72
    little c'unt needs twatting... says:

    the mental picture of this pathetic creep walking the world stage is frightening

  73. 73
    Raptor says:

    Private Eye lines up with the BBC in taking every opportunity to get at News International. Just as they do on climate-change, UKIP, and “everyone should pay more taxes.”

    Lefty comedians flock together.

  74. 74
    Fahrenheit says:

    Hey, I’m British, and know all about Ed Millband and definitely don’t want to be his friend.

  75. 75
    What a plonker. says:

    Don,t forget that Sainsbury,s and the Coop support the Labour party .
    Give them a miss.

  76. 76
    Doctor Mick says:

    Lied to the police, eh? Good lad.

  77. 77
    A gottle a geer says:

    Drinking responsibly is sound advice – eg do not drink and ‘be in control of a motorised vehicle'; you might spill it.

  78. 78
    Sad Socks says:

    He is just countering Dave’s support for the Blue Sox (a Birmingham ensemble)

  79. 79
    pigs might fly says:

    Has Labour repaid the money it owes the Co-op yet?

  80. 80

    The Private Eye cover seems to be ‘Broomsticks all round!’ Innit?

  81. 81
    Dave's PR SPAD No 22 says:


    What business is it of yours?

  82. 82
    Dave's PR SPAD No 22 says:

    And you will be less safe

  83. 83
    Rusbridger's PA says:

    Guardianistas truly believe that if it’s not in the Guardian then it didn’t happen, if it is in the Guardian then no other account could possibly be more accurate.

    Drones, one and all.

  84. 84
    Hear hear! says:


  85. 85
    Remittance Man says:



    One does have to wonder what he’d be saying if a couple of coppers had approached the same vendor and asked him to remove copies of the Graun publicising all sorts of things about GCHQ, though.

  86. 86
    Bill says:

    It has always fascinated me how, every time our rulers have a little family disagreement with our German cousins, all Britons are summonned to put on a uniform, and are handed a high-powered assault rifle.

    Then, once the spat is over, the uniforms are replaced by civvies and those same Britons are deemed not worthy to be truste with a penknife.

  87. 87
    Bill says:

    Nothing fascist about it: fascists are competent. Modern Britain is pure socialist.

  88. 88
    Kaptain Karzi says:

    Should keep Hugh Grant happy, and no reports in the muzzled Press. Not so much Hacked Off as Sucked Off, eh Hughie boy?

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